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To Live is to Die
Topic Started: March 5, 2008, 12:49 am (59,974 Views)
PurpleRose
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Frantic
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Looking forward to an update :)
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Metalicious
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Blackened
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We were up and out of the cabin by 7:30, stopping briefly at Randy’s to pick up a package of meat he’d frozen and packed up for James. We boarded the little plane at 8, and I was sleeping against James’ shoulder just after take-off. I managed to sleep until we landed, and was woken by a loud curse from James. Rubbing my eyes and sitting up, I followed his gaze out the small window. Waiting on the runway next to James’ Chevy Blazer, were Fran, the kids, Lars, and Pepper.

“Oh my,” I said quietly. “Pepper better start talking before anybody else, and it better be a damn good story.” James was seething silently beside me. I patted his hand and he shot me a scary glare. “That’s good, baby. Look like you’re mad at me.”

I grabbed my bag and jogged down the steps from the plane, running straight to Pepper. He hugged me tightly and whispered in a rush, “You’re my girlfriend, James took you hunting cause you’re Cliff’s kid and he wanted to get to know you, Lars is still confused and pissed, Fran showed up out of the blue. Sorry babes.” Stepping back from him, I put my bag down and walked over to Lars, who was standing away from the group.

“Hi.” I reached for his hand. He let me take it but didn’t look up.

“Hey. Have fun?”

“Yeah. Think I proved my stuff as a little hunter. I tried calling you this morning to see if you wanted to do lunch with me.” I glanced over at James, who was hugging Fran and the kids. “There are things I need to explain. Things I’m ready to talk about now. If you’ll listen?”

He raised his head and squinted at me. “Like the nightmares?” I nodded. “Yeah, fine. Except I think we’re all having lunch together, at James’ place. Fran found out that you’re Cliff’s kid and decided we should all hang out.” He lowered his voice, and pulled away from my hand. “I talked to her earlier, Charlie, she’s not sure she wants the divorce anymore.”

The knot in my stomach that had begun the night before quadrupled in size. I took a few shallow breaths and tried to smile. “Well, they’re a family. Guess they need to sort out what’s best for all of them.”

“Yeah. They do. Try, um, not to interfere, okay? I know James is great, but she’s his wife.” I looked over as Fran placed a kiss on James’ cheek. He was holding Cella, and Cali and Castor were laughing and holding on to his legs. “They’ve got enough issues without you adding to the mix, okay?”

Ouch. Thanks, Lars. “Yeah, got it.” I walked over to Pepper as he picked up my bag.

Fran turned to me and I was startled when she leaned over to hug me. “Hi Charlie, I’m Francesca. It’s so nice to meet you. I hope you weren’t too bored at the cabin. I always find it a bit isolated.” I returned her hug and stepped back.

“It was great,” I gave her what I hoped was a sincere-looking smile. “Board games, books, hunting…plenty of stuff to occupy a few days.”

“Getting shot must have added to the excitement, too,” she grinned at me. This time my smile was definitely real and I pulled up the leg of my jeans to show her the wound, which had actually closed over and looked slightly pathetic.

“It was so much cooler when it was bleeding,” I told her.

“It was never cool,” James said fiercely and I grinned up at him.

“Kinda was…just a little bit. I’m gonna have a scar from my bullet wound!” I caught Lars staring at me and shaking his head, so I stopped talking. Pepper put his arms around me from behind and kissed my cheek.

“I’m just glad you’re okay, baby girl.”

“Aww, look at you two! So sweet,” Fran smiled. “Now, there’s zero food in the house, but I took the liberty of ordering from that Chinese place, honey,” she turned to James. “I thought we could all have lunch together, hear more about your trip.”

“Sounds good!” Lars picked up Castor and swung him around. “Better hustle, buddy, before Charlie and Pepper eat all the food!” They walked off to James truck.

“We’ll meet you guys there,” Pepper told them, and took my hand. “I’ve got your truck just behind that building,” he said quietly as they walked away, piling into the Beast.

I leaned against him and waved at Castor as he turned around. “Damn, Pepper, what have I done?”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and rested his head against mine. “You haven’t done anything wrong. When you left for this trip, James was certain his marriage was done. Now she’s back and acting like it’s all good.” He straightened up and turned me to face him. “It’s not all good, baby. She’s been seeing someone else for a long time, and he knows that. Everything’ll work out, okay?”

I nodded, but didn’t really believe him. “Do we have to go to lunch over there? Lars is still really angry, and I don’t know if I can be around Fran.” I sighed. “She seems so nice. I’m going to Hell, aren’t I.”

He grinned and pulled me behind him as he started walking to my truck. “Course you are, darlin’. Somebody’s gotta be there to keep me company. Don’t worry. We’ll have the best seats.”

Pepper drove, since he knew the way to James’ place. It was gorgeous. A big house surrounded by a ton of land. We walked around back and I gasped. The landscaping was gorgeous. I wondered if James had designed it himself. Pepper went inside to give Fran a hand with the food, and I sat on one of the lawn chairs, staring in awe around the yard.

“Like it?” I looked up and James handed me a soda. “Thought you might be thirsty.”

“Thank you.” I took a long drink and wiped my mouth. “This is beautiful, James. Did you design it?”

He nodded and looked around. “Yeah. Took a while to get it how I wanted it, kind of like your place. But worth it, yeah?” he smiled and I looked away. “Charlie…”

“Don’t. Please. Lars told me.”

“Lars told you what, exactly?”

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “He told me Fran doesn’t want a divorce anymore. And he’s right, I shouldn’t interfere. You guys have enough stuff to deal with…” I stopped talking as he squatted in front of me.

“Lars doesn’t know what he’s talking about-”

“Charlie!” Pepper called down from the house. “Come get some grub, baby girl. I hear that people wounded by bullets need to eat lots of Chinese food.”

I left James outside and found Pepper and Fran and Lars standing around the kitchen table, piling food onto plates.

“Hey…y’alright? Look, I scored you three egg rolls. How great am I?” Pepper grinned at me as he held up a plate. Fran was watching us, looking amused. I walked over to him and slid an arm around his waist.

“Thank you. Should we take this stuff outside?” I leaned up to place a kiss on his cheek and laughed when he turned his head and I got his mouth instead. “Sneaky, Keenan.”

“I most certainly am,” he winked at me. “It’s all part of my Southern charm,” he drawled, and went outside. Fran followed behind, laughing.

“Wow, Charlie. Two guys in one week. That’s gotta be a record,” Lars snarled. “Or maybe that’s just par for the course? Shame you couldn’t stomach it the other morning with me, or you could have three notches on your bedpost.”

“Take it easy, Lars,” James said quietly from the open door.

“It’s fine, James. Just let it go,” I muttered and moved to walk past him.

“Yeah, Het, listen to your girlfriend. Let it go.” Lars stood with his arms crossed and I saw James’ eyes flash. I put a hand on his chest.

“Please don’t. It’ll make everything worse. I’ll take off soon anyway. Just let it go.” Lars walked out past both of us and strode over to sit beside the kids.

James looked down at me, eyes filled with sadness. “He shouldn’t talk to you like that.”

“No, but he doesn’t know the whole story. He’s hurt, and he’s worried that you’re gonna get hurt too.”

“Fine, but after lunch I’m sitting his ass down for a talk, and filling him in.”

I shook my head. “No, James. I need to be the one to tell him. Promise me you won’t, okay?” He nodded and glanced over his shoulder. “Look, whatever happens, I’m still really grateful for the last three days. More than you know. But you need…” I sighed. “You need to not have anybody else telling you how to run your life. Sorry. Figure out what you need to figure out, and let me know what happens.” I smiled and patted his chest.

Taking my hand in his, he looked down at me. “Saturday. We’re still on for dinner. I promise this will all be sorted.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Papa Het.” I squeezed his hand and walked outside to sit beside Pepper. “I think I’ve got a headache from flying, sweetie. Would you be okay if we went back to my place in a bit?” I hoped he’d understand.

He looked over at me and nodded. “No worries, princess. Just let me finish lunch, this chicken thing is awesome.”

“Oh…before you go, I have to get a picture of the both of you.” Fran smiled. “We’re putting together a bunch of photos for a big album of friends and family, aren’t we honey,” she nudged James, who’d sat beside her. He shoved an egg roll in his mouth and gestured that he didn’t want to talk with his mouth full. “And since you’re both a friend, and family, really, we definitely need some pictures!” She ran up the steps into the house.

I smiled at her enthusiasm and mentally smacked myself for sleeping with this sweet woman’s husband. Pepper, reading my mind, leaned over and whispered, “Seriously, doll, prime seats. Satan’s right hand.” I giggled.

Fran reappeared with a camera in her left hand and a plate of cookies in her left. “Here, sweetie,” she waved the plate at me. “Take a couple of these with you. We made them this morning. Sugar cookies with cherries on top.”

I saw James’ eyes widen with panic as I clamped my jaw down and tried not to gag. Relax, I told myself, they’re just cherries, for God’s sake. I took shallow breaths and tried to smile. “They look delicious, Fran, really. But…I’m kind of allergic to candied cherries. Something in the syrup. I’m sure Pepper will eat them, though.”

Pepper looked up and grinned. “Course I will. Pack ‘em up, I’m gonna get this little lady on the road.”

“Okay, just a quick picture then, of the two of you.”

“Yeah, Pepper, give her a kiss for the camera,” Lars added. James and I both shot him a look. Pepper stood and put his hands on my hips and whispered a quiet request that I not vomit on him. I giggled and stood still as he bent down slightly to kiss the tip of my nose while Fran snapped the picture.

We said our goodbyes quickly and I climbed into the truck as Pep revved the engine. I stared straight ahead as we drove away, not daring to look at James or Lars.

“You okay?”

I nodded.

“You lying?”

I nodded again, leaning back against the seat and closing my eyes. I didn’t open them until we pulled into my driveway. Pepper turned to me just before he opened the front door. “I, um, have to go out this afternoon. I’ll be back around six, and then I’m all yours. But I didn’t want you to be alone, so I asked Trish to come over. Hope that’s okay.”

I hugged him. “Thanks buddy. You always know what I need.” We entered the house and I could hear the radio in the kitchen. The door to the deck was wide open, and Duke and Fire came bounding over to say hello. Trish followed behind them. Taking one look at me, she glanced at Pepper.

“I’ll take it from here, Pep.” She took my hand and led me upstairs. I turned and waved to Pepper as he went back out.

“See you at six, baby girl. Make sure she’s ready, Trishy,” he called before he closed the door behind him.

“What, exactly, am I to be ready for?” Given that these two had apparently cooked something up, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“Oh nothing, don’t worry. Just dinner. Maybe some drinks. Here,” she sat me down on my bed and started yanking bathing suits out of my dresser and tossing them at me. “Pick a bikini and then come back downstairs. We still have time to get you a decent dose of sunshine. I’ve got everything else we need already down there.”

“Thanks…? Why aren’t you at work?” I picked up a pale pink bikini and white board shorts.

“Pepper called me around nine this morning, told me Fran was back in town. We figured you might want a bit of moral support. Or at least a drinking buddy while Pep was busy this afternoon.” She grinned and took off downstairs.

“Drinking buddy? Why do I need a drinking buddy?” I stood at the top of the stairs and hollered after her.

She yelled back up from the kitchen, “Because I made margaritas!”

What? It was barely after lunch. Still…lazing in the sun and sipping fruity alcoholic drinks sounded better than sulking around the house crying over James and Lars all afternoon. I had just finished tying the top of my bikini when I heard my cell phone ringing. I looked around and saw it on top of my dresser. I checked the number and smiled. “How was Vegas?”

Mrs. Deanez laughed at the other end of the phone. “Oh honey, it was wonderful. We lost a couple hundred bucks but it was worth it.”

I giggled. “So you’re not calling from Tahiti?”

She hooted. “Oh my, no. I’m actually calling from my backyard. Are you home? I made a double batch of chocolate chip cookies and you were looking a little thin the last time we chatted.”

“You are a horrible liar. I don’t look thin at all, but feel free to feed me anyway. Come on over, I feel like getting my butt kicked at basketball too if you’re up for it.”

“Alright sweetie, I’ll see you in a minute.”

I hung up and took the phone downstairs. Picking up the pan and the basket that had held the peach cobbler, I stepped outside and found Trish had moved a couple of chairs to beside the pool. She was surrounded by glossy magazines, nail files and polish, a variety of face masks, a ton of food, a pitcher of margaritas and a couple of glasses. She looked up at me, lifting her sunglasses.

“Told you I had everything we need. Did I miss anything?”

“Cabana boys?” I looked up and grinned at Mrs. Deanez. “You can’t possibly pour your own drinks, can you?”

I went over to hug her and watched as Trish got up to do the same. “Hello! If I’d known you were coming I would have made more margaritas!” They smiled at each other and then Trish spotted the cookies. “Ohhhh…you know, I did neglect to bring cookies. Good thing you thought of it.” She put the cookies with the rest of the food, and dragged another deck chair over. “Have a seat! Charlie mentioned you were in Vegas last weekend. Are you moonlighting as a showgirl these days?”

I left the two of them talking and went inside to grab another glass. The doorbell rang just as I was reaching into the dishwasher. Leaving the glass on the counter, I opened the door to see a huge bouquet of tulips and daffodils.

“Miss Tyler?” The delivery man peeked his head around the flowers.

“Yes?”

“Could you take these? They’re for you, I just need you to sign for them.” I took the bouquet and waited as he rummaged around for the signature pad. Holding the flowers in one hand, I signed with the other and thanked him.

“Holy floral arrangement, Batman.” Trish exclaimed as I brought the flowers out to the deck. “Is there a card?”

I looked and saw a tiny white card nestled between two daffodils. Lifting it out, I turned it over and saw the word ‘Saturday’ on it. “Yeah, they’re from James.”

“Ah…” she shot Mrs. Deanez a knowing look.

“I see. The married one?” Well, well. Somebody had been busy filling her in. I stuck my tongue out at Trish and she grinned.

“Hey, if we’re all gonna hang out and get drunk and do face masks together, we’ve all gotta be up to speed.” She took the glass from my hand and filled it to the brim, handing it to Mrs. Deanez. “Bottoms up, neighbor.” They both laughed and I sat beside Trish. She patted my knee and shot me a sympathetic look. “Don’t worry Charlie. It’ll all work out. But first…would you like pink or red toes? I think pink, since I’ve already decided what dress you’re wearing tonight.”

I watched as her hand hovered over the umpteen bottles of nail polish. She settled on a bright pink one and held it up to me. I took it and inspected the label. “It’s called ‘Tramp’.” I nodded slowly. “Yeah, that’s fitting.” She frowned at me and took the bottle back.

“Stop pouting. You’re not a tramp. But that’s the perfect color. Whatchu gonna use, Mrs. D.?”

“Hmm…I quite like the dark red shade.” Mrs. Deanez leaned down and picked up the little bottle. “And it’s called ‘Harlot’!” she announced with glee. “Okay, Charlie, you do my toes, I’ll do Patricia’s, and she can do yours.” I smiled. She was the only person who could get away with calling Trish by her full name.

“Alrighty. We’re all ready. Except, I think we should do face masks at the same time. Then we can let them dry while the polish dries, and when everything’s set, we can rinse off the masks and admire our lovely toes!” Trish finished the rest of her drink and pulled out three mask packets from the pile. “Here, crap from the rainforest…” she tossed one to me, “…mud and honey junk,” she threw it towards Mrs. Deanez, “and witch hazel with cucumber for me. God, we could eat these.” We tore open the packets and applied them, laughing at each other’s faces. Mine was a turquoise blue, Mrs. Deanez’s was light brown, and Trish’s was green. Settling in a circle on the ground, we got to work on the nail polish.

“Oh…my…God.” We all looked at each other and then turned around to see Kirk doubled over with laughter. “Charlie? Is that you under all that blue gunk?”

I stood up and went over to him, a huge grin on my face. “Hey buddy, c’mere and let me kiss you hello.”

“Gah! No way!” He held up his index fingers to form a cross and backed away from me. “Don’t even think about it,” he giggled.

“How’d you get in? I’m really starting to think James is just standing on a corner somewhere handing out copies of my keys…”

He shook his head. “Nah, I called Pepper, told him I needed to drop off some stuff for you, so he met up with me to give me your keys. I’ll take them back to him after this.”

“Hammett!” Trish called from beside the pool. “Get your butt over here and let me paint your toenails. I’ll do ‘em black!”

He grinned at her and turned back to me. “There’s a videotape on your kitchen counter. It’s from Ray. I don’t think it’s very long. Why don’t you go check it out while I get a pedicure, okay?” He squeezed my hand and bounded over to sit by Trish, introducing himself to Mrs. D.

I stepped into the kitchen, the tiles cool on my feet. The videotape was where Kirk had left it. I picked it up and saw a label on the side. ‘Dear Charlie’ was all it said.

Popping into the vcr in the lounge, I turned on the tv and sat down. Ray’s face appeared on screen. He looked tired, but he was smiling. He looked into the camera and began speaking.

“Hi Charlie. I’m Ray, Cliff’s dad. I know this is a bit odd, me making you a tape, but I wanted to send you a message, and a letter would have felt too formal.” He paused and took a few breaths. “Jan and I – that’s Cliff’s mom – we’d like to meet you. I realize it’s probably a bit overwhelming for you, getting this information and then me asking for you to come visit us, but we’d love to see you. I talked to Lars on the phone the other day and he was raving about how much you remind him of Cliff.” He looked down for a moment and then back up to the camera, sighing. “I’m sure you know by now that I’m not very healthy. This leukemia is kicking my ass,” he smiled and shook his head, “and I’m not doing well on the medication. I was never one for drugs,” he smiled again, “unlike other members of the family.” I laughed. His sense of humor didn’t seem to be suffering from the cancer. “I think Kirk will have mentioned to you that the doctors had suggested a bone marrow transplant, with you as a donor. Charlie, that has nothing to do with why we want to see you. I imagine it’s difficult to believe, but we’d like nothing more than just to hang out, get to know you, maybe look at some old pictures of Cliff together. The transplant is something we can talk about if you’re interested, but there is absolutely no pressure for you to do it.” He sighed again. “It may not even work anyway, since you’re my granddaughter.” There was that lovely smile. “My granddaughter. All I’ve ever had are grandsons. And none of them are hotshot lawyers. So you better come over soon so we can get to know each other. I want to hear all about you. So does Jan, except she doesn’t know I’m making this tape. She’s worried you’ll think we’re being pushy.” The smile turned to a smirk. “I am pushy. But I like to think of it as ‘driven’ instead. Anyway, Charlie, as much as we would love to see you, we’ll understand if you’re not ready. It’s a lot to deal with, and if I were in your shoes…well, I’m not sure how I’d feel. But if you do want to come see us, we’d love to have you. Hopefully we’ll talk to you soon. Bye!” He waved at the camera and then pressed a button on the remote, and the screen turned to snow.

I put my head in my hands and immediately regretted it. Blue mush was all over my palms when I looked at them. Going over to the kitchen sink, I lifted the lever with my elbow and rinsed my hands, and then my face.

“You okay in here?” I turned and saw Mrs. Deanez leaning against the counter. “Kirk and Trish were filling me in, I hope that’s okay. Sounds like you’ve had a busy time of it lately.” I nodded. “Let me see if I’ve got it all. You found out you’re the long-lost daughter of a famous, dead, rock star, you sort of started up a relationship with the drummer in the famous, dead, rock star’s band, that didn’t work out, another rock star shows up who you already know and this throws off everything with the drummer, then you go away hunting, of all things, with the lead singer of the band, only to fall head over heels for him, but it turns out his wife is back in the picture. And now you find out that your biological grandfather has cancer and is hoping you’ll do a bone marrow transplant.” She looked at me, her face blank. I nodded again. “Oh my. I do love living next to you, sweetheart, it’s very exciting,” she grinned and gave me a hug. “Is there anything I can do to help? I could pull a few strings, call a few people, tell this Lars person what time it is…” she laughed at my expression. “What? I know a man who deals with these sorts of things.” She put her arm around my shoulder and led me back outside. “What you need is another margarita, and maybe a dip in the pool, hmm? And a cookie.”

I sat beside Kirk as Trish poured me a drink and handed it to me. Taking a long gulp, I put the glass down and looked at Kirk’s toenails. They were black, and the one on his left big toe had a silver lightening bolt on it. I laughed. “Very pretty, Hammett.”

He grinned and wiggled his toes. “I’m the coolest. I’m wearing sandals to the studio tomorrow to show these off.” He reached for the plate of strawberries and passed it to me. “You watch the video?”

“Yup. Do you have their address? I’m gonna go see them tomorrow.”

“Wow. Charlie, are you sure? Do you want one of us to come with you?”

I smiled at him. “No, but thanks for the offer.”

“Alright. He’s actually staying at a private hospital. It’s about an hour from here. I can give you the address and tell you how to get there. And if you change your mind about wanting company, just let me know.” He leaned over and hugged me. Standing to leave, he waved to Trish and Mrs Deanez. “Bye ladies, lovely to see you both, even with your scaryass masks on.”

Trish waved back and came over to me as he left. “Y’alright?”

I nodded. “Gonna go see Cliff’s parents tomorrow. Little nervous, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. Look, I’m gonna go lay down for a couple hours. Those margs went straight to my head.”

“Okay hon. I’m gonna hang out here until Pepper gets back, so I’ll be sure to wake you up later. Say…around five?”

I told her that sounded good, and went upstairs to my bedroom. Unpacking my things from the trip, I smiled as I hung up the silver dress. I doubted I’d be wearing it on Saturday.

I slid my shorts off and untied my bikini top, and crawled under the covers. The cool cotton felt wonderful against my skin. I closed my eyes and pulled the duvet over my head to shut out the sunlight.

I woke up a few hours later, still under the covers, and felt like I was being pinned down by the duvet. I poked my head out and saw Pepper curled up next to me, and Trish on my other side, both sleeping soundly. I nudged Trish gently and she opened her eyes slowly.

“Hey…good nap?” she gave me a sleepy smile.

“Yeah. You?” I grinned at her.

She laughed quietly. “Yeah. Pep got back a while ago and we were both kinda tired, and you have the nicest bed in the house so…”

“So we thought we’d come and crash your little nap party,” Pepper finished for her.

“I’m gonna go shower and get dressed for tonight. See you guys in a bit,” Trish swung her legs over the bed and walked rather unsteadily out of the room.

“Still drunk, honey?” Pepper called after her.

“You betcha,” she yelled back.

He turned back to face me and brushed a hand over my hair. “Kirk show you the video?”

I nodded. “I’m gonna go see them tomorrow.”

“Good for you. I’ll come along. No, hey, don’t even say I can’t come. You’re not going alone.” He wrapped the duvet around my shoulders and bundled me into his arms and I rested my head against his chest. He was wearing an old Misfits t-shirt that I’d seen many times, the material soft and worn from numerous washings. “Trish tell you where we’re going tonight?”

“Nope. Not even a hint.”

“She tell you that you gotta get all dolled up? I peeked at your toes earlier, very nice,” he smiled at me.

“She mentioned something about picking out a dress. One of the pink ones, I think,” I yawned and stretched against him.

“Aww, really? Not a black one? Not the stretchy soft black one with the tie at the back of your neck and some black shoes with lots of strappy ribbony things goin’ on?”

I looked up at him in shock. “What? Have you been snooping in my closet?”

He grinned and sat up, leaning against the headboard. “Maybe. You did leave me here alone for three days.” He laughed at my expression. “Babe, relax. It’s not like you have anything freaky in there. So…you gonna wear the black one?” He got up and went to my closet, pulling out the dress. Black jersey material with a halter neck and a very low neckline, it clung to my figure and stopped just above my knees.

“Yeah, sure. Leave it on the bed. And what will you be wearing, Keenan?”

“Same as you. Black.” He winked and left the room.

I threw the covers back and closed the door. I flipped through the small collection of cds I kept on my dresser and put my country mix on. Jake had made it for me, and titled it ‘Charlie’s Country Music Extravaganza’. I untied my bikini bottoms and stepped into the shower, cranking the hot water full blast as I sang along to a chick song about roughnecks suckin’ on longnecks.

“Charlie?” I could hear Pepper’s voice over the music. I stuck my head out of the shower door.

“What? I’m busy getting clean.” I laughed as he came into the bathroom with one hand over his eyes and the other holding out a Corona.

“Just thought I should get you started, darlin’. I plan on getting you very, very drunk this evening so you may as well begin now.”

I took the bottle from him and took a sip. Hot shower, cold beer. Excellent combination.

Ten minutes later, I was towel-drying my hair when Trish stuck her head around the door. “Can I come in?” I nodded and she sat on the wicker chair by the tub. “Did you finish your beer?” She grinned and picked up the empty bottle. “Good girl.”

“I’m not complaining, but why do I need to be inebriated this evening?” I asked as I shook my hair out and turned the hairdryer on low.

“No reason in particular. Just figured it’d be good for you to get out and have a few drinks, chill out with me and Pep, and whomever else is kickin’ around. Now get dressed, and put on some sparkly jewelry too. I need to get dressed. I’ll send Pep up with another beer for you in a bit,” she giggled and left the bathroom.

I finished drying my hair and then ran my straighteners over it. I dropped the towel I’d wrapped around me to the floor, and slipping the black dress over my head, I glanced in the mirror. Not bad. May want to put on a thong though, I reminded myself. Probably shouldn’t be running around commando. I pulled out the top drawer of my dresser and grabbed a black, satin one. Just because nobody would be seeing it, didn’t mean I should skip the pretty stuff.
Rifling through my jewelry box, I fished out my grandmother’s earrings, and her engagement ring. I wore it on the index finger of my right hand.

“Damn, baby, look at you!” I jumped at Pepper’s voice and turned around. He stood by the bed, holding two Coronas and looking rather nice himself.

“Look at me? Look at you.” He was wearing black jeans and a black button down shirt. “Did you…oh my goodness, did you shave?” I grinned as I walked over and ran a hand over his cheek. He’d trimmed his facial hair and looked, well, groomed.

“Just a little tidy-up job.” He whistled as he held my hand and gestured for me to turn around. “Very nice. No bracelets though? Trish told me you were gonna be all sparkly. All I see are earrings and your nan’s ring.”

I smiled. “That’s all I need. None of my bracelets go with this, anyway.”

“Hmmm…what about the one in your bedside table?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Which bracelet would that be, Keenan?” I watched as he walked slowly over to the little stand beside my bed and opened the drawer. He pulled out a small navy box and passed it to me.

“Swarovsky? Are you sure this is mine?” He nodded and I opened the box. Inside was a beautiful silver and crystal tennis bracelet. He lifted it out and clasped it around my left wrist. “Pepper…you didn’t have to do this…it’s too much. Why…?”

He put his arms around me and stroked my hair. “Because you were having a bad day. And because you always do stuff to cheer me up. This is the least I can do. This, and taking you out drinking tonight until you’re so far gone that you can’t even remember who James and Lars are.”

“Pep, really, this is too much. It’s beautiful, but I never do stuff like this for you,” I protested as I stared at the stunning bracelet.

He stepped back and put his hands on my shoulders. “Really? What about the time I called from the road and said I was sad and lonely and you called up your buddy in the town where I was and made him take me out? Or the time I called you from home and it was like four a.m. where you were but you stayed up for three hours talking to me. Or the time you had a stripogram sent to my house simply because you thought it was funny and I’d like it?” he grinned. “I did like it, by the way. Man, she was awesome.”

I giggled. “You dirty, dirty old man. But those are just things that any friend would do for another. Except maybe the stripogram.”

He laughed and bent to kiss my cheek. “I just wanted to give you a present, that’s all. I know today was hard, but we’ll have fun tonight, I promise. Now drink this, do your makeup and put your hair up. I’ll see you downstairs in twenty minutes.”

“Half an hour. And hair down.”

“Half an hour, and hair up.”

“Done.”

“Good.”

I went back into the bathroom and applied my makeup. Trish came in and joined me, wearing a knockout of a red dress. I twisted my hair up and clipped it, and took one last look in the mirror before grabbing my shoes out of the closet and going down to the kitchen.

“Woman…you took more than half an hour.” Pepper was nursing another beer.

“Ahhh…but it was worth it, yes?” Trish came up behind me and we both did a little spin. Pep grinned and nodded.

“Another beer?” I asked and Pep shook his head.

“Ride’s here. Put your shoes on, meet me out front.”

I wound the black ribbon around my ankles, and wondered exactly how long I’d last on four inch heels when drunk. Only one way to find out. I followed Trish to the porch and locked the door behind me. Turning to face the street, I saw a car that looked like it belonged in a ZZ Top video, right down to the blue flames licking along its sides.

“We’re going…in that?”

“Well…we’ve got one sharp dressed man and two pairs of fine legs, even though one of yours is injured…figured it’d suit us. You like?” Pep slung an arm around Trish and I, and guided us over to the car. I smiled at the chauffeur and climbed in after Trish as Pep held the door open.

“Evening, ladies.” I looked up, startled, and saw Lemmy in the front passenger’s seat.

“Oh…my…lord. This cannot be good,” I grinned and leaned forward to give him a kiss. “Who the hell let you come along? Shouldn’t you be out terrorizing some young girls somewhere with the rest of Motorhead?”

He gave us an evil smile over the back of his seat. “I can terrorize young girls on my own. Or with Pepper,” he laughed as Pep got in beside me.

I sat back against the plush leather and watched as Trish chatted with Lemmy over the front seat. Pepper’s hand was on mine, but he was staring out the window.

“You alright, Keenan?” I leaned against his shoulder.

He turned and placed a quick kiss on my forehead. “Fine, darlin’. Just thinking.”

“Anything in particular?”

He smiled. “How lucky I am to have two beautiful girls to come out with me tonight.”

“Liar.”

He feigned innocence. “What? You’re both beautiful. I’m not lying.”

“You look all serious. If you were thinking about beautiful girls you’d look a hell of a lot happier. Everything okay?”

He looked back out the window. “Just pissed that this thing with you and James has gone off course. When I talked to him last night he sounded so happy, just really excited to spend time with you. And now fuckin’ Fran shows up and you’re off his radar. I don’t like seeing you treated like this.” He shot me a serious look. “I may have to kick his ass.”

I smiled. “Don’t worry about it, sweets. It’ll all work out for the best. And he hasn’t done anything wrong. Just let him figure out this stuff with his family. In the meantime, you’re welcome to stay with me. I love having you around. I’d love it more if you’d tell me where we’re going, though.”

“We’re going out to dinner, and then we’re going to a little club that one of Lemmy’s friend owns. That’s all. Nothing fancy.”

Nothing fancy, my ass. We pulled up outside Londinium a few minutes later and piled out of the car. Ridiculously expensive, it served amazing British food and every brand of beer imaginable, and the waiters all sounded as if they’d learned to speak from the Queen. Lemmy sounded hilariously out of place, but walked around as if he owned the joint. We got a table near the back of the restaurant, up an elaborate staircase and beside a wall of windows that overlooked the street.

We ordered immediately and then Trish and I excused ourselves to go have a quick girls only drink at the bar.

“So?” She said, sipping at her beer.

“So what?”

“So…are you gonna get drunk and call James tonight? Find out what the hell is going on? Ooooh, or better yet, call Lars and sort that little jackass out.”

“I’m not calling anybody. I left my phone at home, and the phrase of the night is going to be ‘Lars who?’ so don’t even think about trying to get me to call him. I was ready to explain things to him but apparently he’s not ready to listen. That guy is totally staring at you.” I looked over her shoulder.

“Really? I’m not up for flirting with strangers tonight. Let’s get back to the boys.” She slipped her hand into mine and grinned at the guy who’d been staring as we walked back up the staircase.

We both stopped in our tracks as we reached the top. “Oh shit. Might wanna rethink your phrase of the night.” Trish squeezed my hand and then let go to walk over to the table. Lars was seated between Pepper and Lemmy, Pep looking as confused by the situation as I was.

“Lars and I haven’t seen each other in a bit, pet, figured you girls wouldn’t mind if the blokes outnumbered the birds tonight, hmm?” Lemmy put his arm around Lars’ shoulder.

“Course she won’t mind. The more guys, the merrier, right Charlie?” Lars shot me a fake smile.

“C’mon, baby girl, come help me get some drinks. These waiters take too fucking long.” Pepper grabbed my wrist and in seconds I was back at the bar. I leaned against it and put my head in my hands, and started laughing.

“Worst…day…ever,” I turned to face Pep.

“Sorry darlin’. I had no idea Lemmy invited him. He just showed up when you two were down here and I didn’t know what to do. But if he keeps up the attitude he and I are gonna have to have a little chat.”

I laughed harder. “Oh God, Pep, please don’t. I just…I give up. I can’t defend myself to him without explaining everything, and he doesn’t wanna hear it. I think he’s pretty happy to just believe whatever he wants.” I reached up and cupped his face. “Come on. I came out tonight cause you said you were gonna get me trashed and we were gonna have fun. Don’t let one little drummer stand in our way, okay?” I cocked my head at him and he smiled.

“Okay. Want a couple of psychologicals before we go back?” He waved the bartender over and ordered four shots of Sambuca. It was a wonder I wasn’t an alcoholic from spending so much time with Pep. During the rape trial, he and I were both at a loss as to how to calm me down before testifying, and he ended up feeding me a shot or two of whatever liquor he could get his hands on, calling each drink a ‘psychological’. To get me psyched up, he said. It was just one more thing we shared, one more in joke, one more bond.

I downed the first shot, shook my head as it burned my throat, and then tossed the second one back. I sighed as Pepper finished his.

“S’up doll?”

“Kinda wishing it was just the two of us tonight. I mean you’re only here for another week and a bit, and then you’ll be gone for months and I won’t see you…” I trailed off at his expression.

“Stop that,” he said softly. “You will see me, cause I’m either flying back here or you’re getting your ass to wherever we’re playing. None of this twice a year shit anymore. We’re too good friends to do that, Charlie. And, you know,” he shot me a grin, “now that I know you have all those hot little friends who were at your barbecue, I’m definitely up for crashing with you more often.” He winked and ordered again from the bartender.

I slid my arms around his waist and hugged him. One of his hands rubbed my back and the other lifted his beer to his lips. Putting the beer down, he looked down at me. “Are you sure you don’t want me to have a word with Ulrich?”

I shook my head. “No words, please. None about me, anyway. Drink up.”

We walked back up to the table, and saw the waiters had finally delivered some alcohol. Two large bottles of champagne were in ice buckets beside Lars. Upon seeing us, he popped the cork on one and poured five glasses.

Lemmy raised his glass and shouted “Cheers, motherfuckers,” before downing it. Trish burst out laughing and followed suit. Pepper just grinned and drank, and Lars and I stared at each other before repeating Lemmy’s toast.

“Cheers, motherfucker,” I winked at him and drained my glass, almost choking on the last sip when I saw him smiling at me.

Or was it, past me? I saw the look of shock on Pepper’s face and my stomach lurched. Lemmy stood up and waved his arms. “James! Get your arse over here and say hello!”

Seriously? James? My James? Not mine, actually, Francesca’s. Try to remember that, I told myself, as I turned around to see that yes, indeed, it was that James. With Fran.

Shit.
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Lucifer's Angel
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
[ * ]
Cool, drinking with Lemmy and Pepper :) That bar sounded awesome, just what I needed to hear on St. Paddy's Day :beer: Oh crap, the shit's gonna hit the fan with Fran and James and Charlie :(
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Mina
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Morgenstern
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Oh nohooooo :( :( :( :( :( :(
This chapter is just :gah
I want her to be with James :( :( :(

*getting all childish*

I SO can't wait for more :gah
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maisy blue
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Some Kind Of Monster
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Wow- thank you over and over over and over for giving us such long, detailed chapters. I LOVE them. I love that i can sit down and know I'll be reading for a while and getting lots to process.

There's a small part of me that thinks Charlie and Pepper need to take another long, hard look at their relationship. They seem so natural together, and he knows her and her history better than anyone else. He's so tender and protective of her. I love that.

James and Fran... Wow, Fran sure is manipulative. And James is an ass for letting her call the shots when she has been the one sleeping around. I wonder if she's going to be able to tell that James spent the weekend doing a lot more than playing board games.

I feel terrible for Lars. But if Charlie opened up so quickly to James and was able to share all that history and pain with him, and then let him inside (so literally!) and wasn't able to do it with Lars, there has to be something more there. I hope James realizes that, realizes how much Charlie has given him and what they could have as a result of her sharing herself so openly with him.

Okay, and Charlie knows LEMMY? Next you are going to tell us that she has a disorder where she can eat anything she likes and stays perfectly thin and curvy. Cause I'm so jealous of her!

Keep on posting more, pretty please. This is wonderful and I love being invested in this story. Thank you so much for reposting. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
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Metalicious
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Blackened
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Thanks for reading, everyone. Makes me all sorts of happy to have interested readers.

Maisy - I believe the term that applies here is "Mary Sue". Charlie, while she has flaws, is completely unrealistic. But my day job is pretty dry, so when I write, I tend not to hold back, and just make myself happy. Hence the rock star friends. Cause I think that'd be pretty fun. :biggrin

And, the whole time I was writing this, the idea of Pepper and Charlie together was at the back of my mind. So much so that I wrote them together in another story. Here, though, they're platonic. More or less.

I hope it's not annoying that I reply to your comments. I just like talking about the story.

I had a crazyass long work day. Here's some more before I crash out in front of the tv for a while. Enjoy.

****************************************************************

I wasn’t sure I was sober enough to handle this gracefully, or drunk enough to handle it without crying. Trish leapt out of her seat to greet James and introduce herself to Fran, giving me time to collect myself, as Lars watched with pure, unadulterated glee on his face. Lemmy had left his seat too, hugging James fiercely, and Pepper had stood to give Fran a hug.

I stared at Lars, mouthing “Why?” at him. Telling me not to interfere, what the hell did he call this? He just shook his head at me and got up, hugging Fran and then going through the complicated handshake backslapping thing with James I’d seen at the barbecue. Well. Apparently those two had worked things out. Lucky them.

I realized I was being antisocial and got out of my chair, as Fran turned to me. “Charlie! Don’t you look lovely. I didn’t know we’d be seeing you tonight. Lars only mentioned Lemmy. Are you feeling better?” She looked genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine. Long nap and a lot of beer. I’m sure that means an even bigger headache tomorrow though,” I smiled at her. She chuckled and looked at my leg.

“How’s the gunshot wound,” she asked in a conspiratorial whisper.

“Between you and me,” I whispered back, “I barely notice it. But if anybody else asks, it hurts like hell and I’m drinking to numb the pain.”

She smiled. “Well the dress and the shoes certainly distract from the mark. And the bracelet helps too, my heavens, that’s gorgeous. Heirloom?” She lifted my wrist. I saw James watching us, eyebrow raised in typical Het fashion.

“No, actually. It’s new.” She raised her eyes to mine and then glanced at Pepper, who was talking to Lemmy and Trish. I nodded, and she grinned.

“He really is crazy about you, isn’t he? It’s a beautiful piece, Charlie, I love the way it catches the light.” She flashed me another smile and moved to talk to Lars.

“You catch the light pretty well, too,” James said in a low voice as he leaned down to hug me. I tried to ignore the frantic beating of my heart and hugged him back. “All sparkly and glowing.”

“Yeah, well. The sparkle’s from the bracelet, and the glow is from the beer,” I grinned at him.

“I’m sorry about this, Charlie. I didn’t know. Fran and I were supposed to go out tonight to talk and then Lars-”

“James, it’s fine.” I looked over at the others. “I’m not angry. I’m too drunk to be angry,” I giggled. “I just wanna have fun tonight, okay? Try to relax.” I looked up at him, his eyes so anxious, and took his hand. “I’m fine. I’ve got Trish and Pep. And Lemmy!” I shouted and got an immediate ‘hell yeah!’ response from him. “So you just worry about you. And Fran. But not me. Cause I’m good. I’ll be better if our food ever freaking arrives, but I’m good.”

Trish grabbed my arm and hollered something about a bathroom over her shoulder. I wobbled behind her, my heels becoming trickier to walk in now that the alcohol was setting in.

“Oh my,” she grinned wickedly at me as we entered the ladies room. “The plot thickens.”

I hung my head. “Dude, I know,” I moaned. “I can’t believe they’re here. Lars is evil. Oh, man, so am I. Aren’t I?” I sighed and looked up at her. “Am I evil?”

She looked behind me and her eyes widened. “No way, I don’t even like that song. Definitely Fade to Black. What about you, Fran? Favorite Met song?”

“Ooooh…I have a few,” she winked at us as she bent over the sink and pumped the soap dispenser. “Nothing Else Matters, Loverman, and…don’t tell James,” she dropped her voice, “but I secretly love their cover of ‘Die Die My Darling’. It’s such a great song!”

I laughed. “It is great,” I agreed. “I have it on my gym mix, for when I’m running.”

Trish grinned. “Part of your Metallica workout? Oh my God, tell Fran.” She clapped her hands and turned to Fran, apparently too impatient to wait for me to tell it. “Charlie has a treadmill in the little gym she’s got in her basement, so one day I pop over unannounced, and all I can hear is this horrible racket coming from downstairs, and I get down there, and it’s freakshow here,” she pointed at me, “screaming her lungs out to your hubby’s songs, while running her butt off.” She laughed. “Oh my goodness, it took me three days just to stop laughing about it. Heee…guess I haven’t actually stopped.” Fran was laughing too, and I couldn’t help but grin.

“In my defense, it’s a great workout, running and singing. You’re just jealous cause my voice is just so much prettier than yours,” I stuck my tongue out at Trish.

“Ohhh, very mature. Yeah, wanna talk about pretty? Legs pumping, sweat pouring off your face, t-shirt sticking to you like it’s never gonna come off, and you’re there, screaming the chorus of Enter Sandman. Oh yeah, honey, that’s gorgeous,” she giggled.

“So rude,” I grinned at her and opened the bathroom door. The three of us returned to the table to find the boys seated and eating.

“Speaking of rude…starting without us?” Trish looked pointedly at Lars.

“Starting without you?” Lars mumbled through a mouthful of food. “You were gone for ages! Girls in bathrooms? Who knew how long you were gonna be?” I sat on the chair to his left. “Course, we figured maybe you’d found some guy and were gone for the night,” he said to me in a quiet voice. “I mean, I know you’re ‘dating’ Pepper and all, but you never know. Do you Charlie.”

“Please stop it, Lars,” I said softly, as I gave James a little smile so he’d stop staring at me.

“Stop what?” he laughed. “I’m only pointing out what we all know.” He’d leaned over to me and I could see his pupils were dilated. Whatever he was on, I hoped he was done with it for the evening. “I mean…you’re dressed like that,” he waved his fork at my dress, “and you’ve just come back from a little getaway with James, after you tried to seduce me, and now you’re all glammed up for a night with that guy?” he pointed at Pepper. “So…is it only musicians? Or will you sleep with just about anybody? There’s a word for girls like that, Charlie. Actually there are quite a few…” he filled his mouth with a huge bite of steak and the talking ceased.

I could feel James staring and knew if I looked up he’d see the tears that had gathered in the corners of my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to haul Lars off his chair and slap him, and then tell him everything, anything, so he’d stop saying horrible things to me in hushed tones that no one else could hear.

Be careful what you wish for. Lars suddenly started speaking in loud tones that everyone could hear. “A toast!” he raised his champagne glass. “To Charlie and Pepper.” Oh God, Lars, please shut up. “Especially Pepper. Because it must take a truly great man to tame a lady this wild.” He leered at me and I saw Trish start to get up. I shook my head at her. “Well, maybe ‘lady’ is the wrong word. Anyway, to Charlie and Pepper. Or whoever her next victim is, eh? Cheers.” He drained the glass and my phone rang inside my bag.

I could have sworn I’d left it at home. Hands shaking slightly, I pulled it out and answered. “Charlie speaking…hi Jackson…what? Is he okay?” I paused. “No, it’s fine. I’ll be straight over. Mercy General? Yeah, see you in a few.” I pressed the call end button and stood up. “Sorry guys, I’d love to stick around for some more toasts – that was sweet, Lars,” I gave my best attempt at a sincere smile. “But one of my clients has just been taken to hospital. I should really go.”

“I thought you were done with work for the summer,” James said quietly.

“Yeah, I am,” I zipped my bag and slung it over my shoulder. “But this is part of an ongoing case and I’m the one who knows all the details, so I kind of need to be there. But you guys enjoy dinner. And don’t let Lemmy drink all the champagne,” I smiled at him and he raised his glass at me.

“I’ll walk you out,” Pepper stood to join me. I blew Trish a kiss and said I’d call her later.

“Nice seeing you both,” I waved to James and Fran and refrained from giving Lars the hand gesture I thought he deserved.

“Honey, slow down. You’re shaking,” Pepper put his hand on my arm as we reached the main doors and I shrugged it off. “C’mere, come talk to me. This isn’t anything to do with work, is it.” He led me to a stool by the bar and sat me down. “If you’re leaving cause of what shorty said, there’s no need. Soon as I get back up there, he and I are havin’ words.” He caught the look on my face and raised his eyebrows. “What? It’s my duty. As your boyfriend,” he winked at me.

I felt a tear sliding down my cheek. Fuck. “I just need to leave, okay? I’ll see you back at home later. We’ll go out another night. Just us.”

“Babe…don’t cry.” I felt a fingertip brush my face. “Your mascara will run,” Pepper laughed softly and I chuckled. “Ahhh, there we go. Total breakdown avoided, she’s smiling.”

I got off the bar stool and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Have a good night, sweets. I don’t wanna see you back at the house before midnight. If at all!” I hugged him quickly and smiled at the uniformed man who pushed the door open for me. Once I reached the street I looked for a cab. Giving the driver my address, I settled back against the seat, only to hear my phone ring again. I answered and Trish’s voice echoed down the phone.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks for the diversion. Didn’t even see you dial. And where the hell did my phone come from?”

“I snuck it in your bag, just in case you needed it. And I have you on speed dial, baby! You’re number three on my fast connections. Only ahead of mom and dad, in that order,” she reassured me.

“I’m honored. Where are you? You sound like you’re in a cave.”

“Bathroom. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t racing over to Lars’ place to set his house on fire.”

I giggled. “Cause that would be wrong?”

“Hell no, cause I wanna be there if you do it! Jackass deserves it after tonight. What the hell was he whispering to you at dinner? You looked like you were trying to decide between crying and beating the snot out of him.”

Sighing heavily, I closed my eyes. “Just stuff. Stuff he doesn’t mean. He’s hurt and pissed off and his pupils are the size of quarters so I’m assuming he’s on something tonight.”

“Charlie, you should tell him. I don’t know how you’ll get him to sit still long enough to hear you out, but he’s not gonna stop until he knows the background on you and Pep.”

I nodded, and then realized she couldn’t actually see me. “Yeah, you’re right. I just…I don’t even know where to begin. With James it was easier cause he knew I had something to say, and he just let me tell it in my own time. Lars isn’t that patient.”

“Okay, but try to remember, this is the guy who gave you a room in his house. In décor that’s totally against his own taste, and then paid one of your friends a thousand dollars to set it up while he got another one of your friends to go out and buy you more presents. I’m just saying…maybe all this anger is to cover the fact that he really cares about you and doesn’t understand why you’re shutting him out. Or,” she continued, her voice dropping, “he’s been possessed by an alien. Like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Cause he’s not acting like the Lars we know. Sort of know. Have known for a week, whatever. I gotta go, they’ll think I’ve passed out in here or something. Call me later!”

I laughed as I hung up. She was right. I should tell Lars. Then maybe I could have at least one of these damn issues sorted out.

When we arrived at my house, I asked the driver to wait, and ran inside. Changing into jeans, boots, and a sweater, I grabbed what I needed and returned to the cab. Pulling up at Lars’ house half an hour later, I hopped out and watched the taxi drive away. I settled into the lawn chair in front of his kitchen, pulling out the book I’d brought, and started writing on one of the back pages. Putting on my headphones, I glanced over my shoulder at the house. I could wait all night. He had to show up sometime.

“Charlie…” I was being gently shaken. Opening my eyes I saw James crouching in front of me. Nooooooo…wrong guy! He grinned and I realized I’d said that out loud.

“Sorry. It’s just…what are you doing here?” I sat up and winced. Falling asleep in a wooden chair, outside. Not one of my better moves.

“Lars and I wanted to talk some more. I dropped Fran off at the house. Pepper’s gonna be worried about you, he was headed back to your place,” he was running a hand over my hair as he spoke. “And what are you doing here?” He smiled at me again and my stomach did its now familiar flip-flop.

“Figured if I came here, he’d have to talk to me, instead of, well, whatever. But you guys should talk, talking’s good. Important. I’ll go.”

“The hell you will. Come inside, it’s chilly out here. How long you been here, anyway?” he helped me up and guided me to the screen door, taking my bag from me.

“Dunno. What time did I leave the bar?” I kicked off my boots.

“Eight? Nine? But you left to go to see your client, how long did that take?”

Ummm… “I didn’t leave to see a client,” I said quietly as we went into the lounge. “I just left. Trish rang my phone and I just pretended I had to go.” I looked up at him. “I wasn’t up for a late night, and if I’d just said I wanted to leave there woulda been this whole hullabaloo with Lemmy…” I stopped talking. “What?”

He was grinning. “Hullabaloo?”

I smiled back at him. “Want me to spell it?”

“Nah. I got it. What else might there have been?” He cocked his head at me.

“Uh…tomfoolery maybe?” I laughed. “Some shenanigans? Maybe later…some frivolities?” I paused as I heard Lars in the hall.

“James…I’m outta coffee, buddy, but I’ve got lots of tea. Charlie. What, now the indiscretions have moved to my house?” He looked at us and turned on his heel, walking out of the room. James made a move to go after him but I grabbed him.

“No. Let me.” I picked up my bag and stalked after Lars, following him to his room.

“Sorry, Charlotte, no sleepovers tonight. Not with me, anyway.” He stood in the doorway, arms crossed. Nodding his head at the door to the room he’d made over for me, he said, “Can’t stay in there either. I had it redone yesterday, it’s empty. You’ll have to take the Whores R’ Us routine somewhere else.”

Forgetting everything I had told myself about being patient, staying calm, and not getting annoyed at his digs, I shoved him. Hard. He went sprawling backwards onto his bed.

“Quiet, Ulrich. Swear to God, if I have to shove my fist down your throat to get you to shut up, I’ll do it. I have had enough! You got to be sulky at the barbecue, you got to mope for the three days I was away, and you got to be all kinds of nasty at lunch AND dinner, so now, I get to talk. No!” I yelled as he opened his mouth. “You have no idea what it’s like to have to sit and listen to you say horrid things to me, things that aren’t true, things that make me feel THIS big!” I held my thumb and index finger inches apart. “I know you’re hurt, and I know you’re trying to protect James, but Jesus Christ, Lars, you have no idea…” I couldn’t help the sob that ripped from my throat. I looked up in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. “Just, please. Please stop this. I hate that, on top of losing everybody else – my fucking parents, and then my birth mom, and then Cliff, and,” I sniffed, “I know that’s in the wrong order but you know what I mean, and then I thought things were gonna be cool with James but he has to sort out his own issues and he’ll probably end up with Fran, and that’s fine, cause like you said, she’s his wife, and that’s how it should be, so I can deal with losing him, but,” I looked at him. “I hate that I’m losing you, too. I just found you. And it has nothing to do with the room,” I pointed at the door, “or all the stuff, because as wonderful as all that was, it doesn’t matter that it’s gone, cause all I ever wanted was your friendship. And I know I tried for more, and I shouldn’t have, but it was just that I trusted you, and felt safe with you and it’d been so long since I felt that way…” I wiped my eyes and tried to slow my breathing. “I can’t…I don’t know why, but I can’t tell you what I need to tell you. I can only show you.” I reached into the bag I’d brought and placed the book in his lap.

“What is this?” he asked softly, looking up at me.

I sighed. Pepper had done it for me. All the documents, statements I’d given the police woman who handled the rape kit, copies of the medical reports, all the pictures the nurses had taken of my injuries, my journal entries from therapy, Pepper’s entries from when we’d gone to therapy together, he’d put them all in a black scrapbook. I knew why he’d done it, they were things I needed to have, and to have them all in one place just made sense. I had gone through it with him when he gave it to me, cried in his arms, and then never looked at it again, until tonight. “It’s everything you wanted to know.”

I watched as he opened it to the first page. A note from Pepper was all that was on it.

“Baby girl,
the longest journeys begin with only a few steps. This one began with the short walk from Carl’s bar to my house. I wish I could make the beginning of this story different, but I can’t. I can only promise you a happy ending. And no matter how long the journey turns out to be, you’ll never walk alone again.
Love always,
Pep


Lars glanced up. “Sit with me?” I sat, hands clutching at the duvet as he turned the page. Pictures of the barbecue at Pepper’s house. A Polaroid of the two of us, heads bent together, talking under that damn tree. I think Phil had taken that one. Another Polaroid, this one of me the next morning, giving Phil the finger over a cup of coffee. And then the last photo that had been taken before we’d left that night. Pepper and I, beers raised to the camera, grinning like fools.

Lars flipped the page over and I heard his breathing hitch. “This is you?” he turned to me.

“Yeah…without makeup,” I tried to joke. He didn’t smile. I looked down at the pictures on the page. Me, lying in a hospital bed, unconscious. Two black eyes, split lip, broken nose, cuts all over my face from being shoved into the gravel. He flipped the page again and I turned away. I didn’t want to read the two-page spread on my injuries again. I knew what it said. Internal bleeding, head injury, tearing, five broken ribs, pierced lung, all of it was seared on my brain. I had no need to read the words. Lars seemed to be reading every one.

The next few pages were even less fun to read. Rape kit results and details of the rape itself. Who used what, and how. Like a very fucked up version of Clue, I’d always thought. Mr. Maraschino Cherries, in the ditch, with a baseball bat. I felt Lars’ hand settle on top of mine. I stood up. “I’m sorry…I can’t look at this anymore. I’ll be downstairs, if that’s okay. I just…I can’t.” I was crying again. He lifted his head and I saw I wasn’t the only one.

“Make some tea?” His voice was low and hoarse. I nodded and turned away.

James was in the kitchen, flipping through a magazine. I filled the kettle and hopped up to sit on the counter. “How did it go?” he asked without looking up.

“Still going. I’m sorry I interrupted your talk.”

He put the magazine down and walked over to me. “I heard the yelling.” He stood against my legs, placing one hand on either side of me on the counter. “I liked the bit about shoving your fist down his throat,” he smiled, “but why do you think you’re gonna lose me?”

I met his gaze and tried to smile. “I didn’t mean LOSE you, like lose you for good, I’m sure we’ll always be buddies. I just know that there are circumstances that make it difficult for things to continue along the same path that they were. And while I find that, um, disappointing, I understand that this is just the way things have to be. I don’t wanna make things any more difficult for you than they already are.”

He looked at me for a minute. “I told you I would sort things out. Why can’t you believe that?”

“It’s not that I can’t, James, it’s that I won’t let myself. In case things don’t turn out the way I’d like them to.”

He leaned forward so his forehead was resting against mine. “And how would you like them to turn out?”

I sighed, thinking of Pepper’s note. “I’d like a happy ending.”

I pushed him aside gently and picked up my phone, punching in the number for my house as I walked into the lounge.

“Pepper’s house,” a female voice picked up the phone. I smiled.

“Is, um, Pepper around?”

“Yeah, hang on.” She hollered for him and I heard him pick up the extension.

“’lo?”

“Hi.”

“Darlin’! How’s it going with Lars?”

“It’s…how did you know I was here?”

“James called about five minutes ago, figured I’d be worried. Which I was. What’s happening?”

I blew out a breath. “Well, Lars is upstairs going through the book you made me, and James is in the kitchen, going through a magazine.”

“They sort out their own shit with each other yet?”

“Nope. Think that’s still going on.”

“Way to break up the band, Yoko.” I could hear the grin in his voice.

“Hush. And who’s the chick who answered the phone, telling me it was your house? You get lucky on the way home or something? Pick up a hooker?”

He laughed. “No, that’s actually a friend of Lemmy’s. Lemmy is very, very inebriated, and thinks that we’re at my house. He’s taking off soon with chicky though, don’t panic. You coming back here tonight?”

“I imagine so. James might be able to drop me off, or I can get a cab. My rooming privileges have been revoked, so there’s nowhere to stay. I’ll probably see you in an hour or two, okay?”

“Alright. Hey…don’t go looking at that book too much, okay? I didn’t make that for you to flip through upsetting yourself.”

“I know. I’m not looking. But I did write a final journal entry.”

“Really? Ahhh…James?”

“Yup.”

“Good stuff. Can I read it later?”

“Course you can. Nothing I wouldn’t tell you anyway.”

“You haven’t, you know. Told me anything about the trip. We haven’t had time to catch up properly. Tell you what, tomorrow, we get up early, drive to see Ray, and then we can go out to lunch or something on the way back and you can fill me in.”

I smiled. “Okay sweets. Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you when I get home. Want me to wake you up if you’re asleep?”

“Yeah…if you could wake me up in this particular way that I like…it’s proven to be highly successful in the past,” he chuckled.

“Dirty!” I laughed. “I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I stepped into the hallway and heard Lars and James talking in the kitchen. I didn’t want to eavesdrop, and figured I should head out soon anyway, so I kept going. I halted at the entrance to the kitchen and saw Lars look up. The book was open to the pictures of me in hospital, and James was still staring at it.

“Charlie…” Lars still had tears in his eyes. “I don’t know what to say. Sorry doesn’t seem to cover it.” He took a step towards me and stopped. “Can I hug you?”

I hesitated. I was still angry about what he’d said, but he looked so damn pathetic with those tears that had started rolling down his face. “Are there brownies?” I said, raising an eyebrow. He nodded. “Okay. One hug.” He slowly put his arms out and I closed the distance between us, resting my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. I saw James close the book and head outside with it. Feeling Lars shudder against me, I leaned back and saw he was still crying. “Hey…Danish, c’mon. Don’t be sad. I’m not gonna eat ALL the brownies. I’ll leave some for you,” I kissed his cheek and he gave me a watery smile.

“I wish I could take back everything I said today,” he whispered.

“Yeah, that wasn’t fun. Promise to never say anything like it again?”

He nodded solemnly.

“Then it’s forgiven.” I hugged him again and stepped back. “I only got as far as boiling the kettle, but I think I’m gonna skip tea and see if James can give me a ride home. Unless you guys were gonna do the guy chat thing, and then I can just call a cab.”

He shook his head. “We’re good. Go ahead. Tell him I said goodnight. Hey, Charlie,” he stopped me as I started to leave. “I lied. About your room. Everything is still there. I know you wanna go home tonight, but if you ever want to stay another time…”

I nodded. Slipping out the screen door, I saw James was sitting in his truck, reading with the little mirror light on. I walked over and tapped gently on the window. He opened the door and I saw there were tears in his eyes. Fuck. CryFest 2005 indeed.

“Need a lift?”

“Yes please.”

He gestured for me to come around the other side. I climbed up and fastened my seatbelt. We drove for a few minutes and he suddenly pulled the truck over to the side of the road.

“James? Everything okay?” I couldn’t really see his face in the darkness.

“Can’t drive and cry at the same fucking time,” he said with a growl. I sat still for a moment, not sure what to do. I undid my seatbelt and turned so I was facing him. He was staring straight ahead, gripping the steering wheel with both hands.

“James…” I slid across the bench seat and leaned my head on his shoulder. “Please don’t be sad. They’re just pictures, just words. Everything’s okay now.”

He turned his head to look at me. “Is it? I saw the whole thing, Charlie. How hurt you were, how you got that way. I read your last journal entry. Doesn’t seem like everything’s okay.”

Frowning, I picked up the book, flipped to the last page and showed James. “You read this?”

He took it from me and went back several pages. “No, this. The one that says ‘Final Entry’ in big, block writing.” He lifted his hand and flicked the light on, and began reading, his voice low and quiet.

“My nose took three weeks to heal. The five ribs that were broken took ten weeks. They still hurt sometimes. The punctured lung took two hours a day to drain, for three days, but it too has healed. The internal bleeding stopped long ago. I have been stitched up in places I have never even seen, and those stitches were either removed, or dissolved. My bones are done knitting, my bruises have faded, and even the scars are less visible. All this in less than five months. I am told I have recovered in record time. But there’s still a break, still a bruise, still a scar, a wound that won’t heal. May never heal. One that starts to scab over only to be ripped open every time Pepper comes up behind me without warning. Every time I close my eyes without first concentrating on what I will try not to see. Every time I laugh without thinking, and my ribs ache, and I remember why they ache. What’s the length of time required for a soul to heal? I don’t think I’ll make it in record time. Sometimes I don’t know if I’ll make it at all.”

He stopped reading and looked at me. “Doesn’t sound like you’re okay. Sounds like you’re barely hanging in there.”

I took the book back from him and took his hand in mine. “James, this isn’t a current journal. This is something that Pep made for me a long time ago. I haven’t looked at it in months. But that isn’t the last entry. I wrote one tonight. It’s short. Wanna see it?”

He nodded and took his glasses off, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. I turned to the very back of the book, where I’d written earlier in the night, waiting for Lars to get home, and showed it to James.

“Broken nose: three weeks
Broken ribs: ten weeks
Broken soul, spirit and mind: three days in the wilderness with Het.

There are some things only time can heal. For everything else, there’s James Hetfield.”


He turned to me. “I’m a Mastercard?” A slow smile spread across his face.

I grinned. “Priceless, baby.”

He chuckled, and then grew serious again. “So, you mean it? You’re okay? You feel better? Healed, as you wrote?” I nodded. “And…I did that?” I nodded again. He smiled again. “ I am priceless.”

I laughed as he started the truck and pulled back onto the road.

Several minutes later we were parked in my driveway. One light was on in the house, in Pepper’s room. I knew he would have heard the truck and would be waiting for me to come in and say goodnight. I also knew I didn’t want to get out of the truck and have to say goodnight to James.

“So…Saturday?” he smiled at me.

I laughed. “Yeah…you keep saying that. Ohhh,” I put my hand over my mouth. “Thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful. God, that’s awful that I didn’t say thanks until now.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you liked them. Look, I know it’s, well, it’s Thursday now, but I promise that by Saturday, this will all be resolved. Nothing has changed, Charlie. Not for me. Just because Fran and I got ambushed by Lars tonight doesn’t mean we’re not gonna talk about it.”

I took his hand in mine, tracing over his knuckles with my thumb. “Do whatever you need to do, James. Don’t rush it just so we can have dinner on Saturday though.” I looked up at him. “I’m not saying I’ll wait forever, I don’t wanna be that girl, but I don’t want to push you and say, sort your marriage out in the next two days or I’m outta here.” I smiled. “Cause I’m not gonna leg it on Sunday morning if you haven’t figured things out. I’ll just get up and do my naked laps in the pool as usual.” I giggled as he moaned.

“Thanks Charlie. You’re making it so easy for me to drive off now.” He turned and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Go. Get inside before I decide to ravish you in the truck right now.”

I smiled, kissed him quickly and opened the door. Grabbing the book and my bag, I stepped down. “See ya,” I waved.

“Saturday.”

I watched him drive off, and then went inside, kicked off my boots and went upstairs.

Pepper’s light was still on, but he was fast asleep. I turned off the light and was about to close the door when I heard his voice. “Hey…you’re supposed to say goodnight.”

“You were sleeping,” I laughed softly.

“You get things sorted with Ulrich?” He held out a hand and I went to sit beside him.

“Yeah, think so. Give it a bit of time, we should be okay.”

“And Het?” he mumbled against the pillows.

“Same. I’m sure we’ll be fine eventually, whatever happens.”

“And me?”

“And you, mister, smell like somebody dropped you in a keg and then threw you in a huge box of cigars. But I love you anyway.” I heard him chuckle and he pulled me down beside him.

“Do me a favor?” He flipped so he was on his back. “Stay in here tonight?”

I smiled. “Aww, you lonely?”

He smiled back, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “No, just need you here.”

“Course I’ll stay. Let me get changed, I’ll be right back.” I went into my room, taking off my jeans and sweater, and replaced them with an old pair of boxers and a white tank top. I brushed my teeth and went back into Pep’s room. He lifted the blankets for me and kissed my cheek before rolling over on his stomach, one hand reaching out to lay under my own. “Wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” I whispered softly. He turned his head towards me.

“Not really.”

I smiled at him in the darkness. “You’ll feel better if you talk about it.”

He groaned. “Fuck, Charlie, not that therapy mantra. That’s what got me started…”

I sat up. “What? Got you started on what? Feeling sad?”

He took a deep breath, nodding. “Just thinking about this shit, tonight, you know? Thinking of Lars, turning page after page of that damn scrapbook, seeing you all torn apart and beaten,” his voice dropped to a whisper. “Knowing that it’s my fault, for not leaving with you that night.”

I wanted to jump in and contradict him, point out that things could have been worse, two of us could have been hurt, if he’d been with me. Instead, I tried to stay quiet and waited for him to continue.

“I always knew you were special, baby, ever since we met. Nobody else takes care of me like you do, makes me laugh like you can, nobody makes me feel this wanted and cared for. You light up like a fuckin’ Christmas tree when you see me. It’s awesome. And I always figured I was meant to meet you, like maybe you were sent here specifically to be a part of my life. But finding out you’re Cliff’s kid, now I’m wondering if I was supposed to be the one taking care of you. If that was why we met, and then I just think, fuck, I’ve done such a bad job of it. And I’m the reason why you got hurt. I’m the reason we were at that bar, I’m the reason you left alone, so I’m the reason why you got so…so broken.” He turned, laid his head on my lap and looked up at me.

I sighed. “Very few people stay unbroken, Pep. Anyone with a life worth living has cracks and breaks to show. I might have a few more than most, that’s all. You have to know by now that none of this is your fault. The only people to blame are the five guys quietly rotting in jail. You were not responsible for what happened. You were responsible for helping me get better. And if all that hadn’t happened, if we’d left the bar together, and gone back to your house safely, maybe you wouldn’t be here now. Maybe we would have said our goodbyes the next day, and never seen each other again. And that,” I stroked his face and smiled, “would be even worse than what happened to me.”

“You really mean that, don’t you.” His face was looking more relaxed.

“Absolutely.” I looked at him. “Of course, given the choice at the time, I might have picked never seeing you again over the broken ribs. But that was before I knew how well you do stuff like reading aloud from Clive Cussler novels, and cooking, and making fun of women’s hair styles on soap operas with me.” I leaned down to kiss his forehead. “I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

He looked serious again, and placed his hand gently on my stomach. “What about this? What would you trade to be able to guarantee that there would one day be little tiny Charlie Tylers running around?”

I put my hand over his. “Pep…they didn’t say I can’t have babies. They just said it would be risky. And don’t you think it would be really scary if there were more than one me running around?” I laughed as he nodded. “Anyway, I have lots of options. Could get a surrogate mother to carry the baby, could adopt – maybe from a famous musician, make it like a tradition, you know?”

He sat up and drew me against him. “I love you so much it’s obscene, you know that?”

“I do. And it’s mutual. Now, we gotta get some sleep, or we’ll be too sleepy and cranky to go anywhere tomorrow. You still gonna come with me?”

“Absolutely. Wild horses couldn’t stop me.”

**************************************************************
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maisy blue
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Some Kind Of Monster
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Sweet! If my kid weren't crying I'd be able to write as much as I wanted.
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Lucifer's Angel
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Wow, Lars was being such an ass :angry That little Danish fuck better learn to keep his big mouth shut. That really brought up all the bad shit that happened with Charlie, poor girl. Lars had better start behaving himself :(
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Damn, this story is the shit. It's amazing. Every chapter gets better and better. I know that you referred to it as a soap opera once, but this story has way more depth than that. You write amazingly well.

Don't worry about replying to comments and talking about your fiction. I LOVE it when authors tell us about their work. If you had a a shitty day, and you're going to torture your characters in the next update, I want to hear about it. Maybe I'm just strange but when I like something, such as a story, book, movie, piece of music, whatever I want to know every fucking thing about it. Charlie is your character, your brainchild, so I loved hearing about how you don't hold back when you write her.

And even though she does seem really kick ass with the rock star friends, the many different interests, etc... She does have some very real qualities that make her seem very genuine. I like that she's a lawyer, with her little house and her dogs, yet at the same time she's a total party animal who likes football and who likes to hunt. To me, this makes her very real because I'm much the same way. I'm not a lawyer, God no :) And I don't hunt but I most people who have met me and see me at work in a professional situation would probably think that I don't swear, drink, or listen to loud music. Then, they see me away from work, chilling out are completely surprised when I go all crazy and say "fuck this" "fuck that" I love football, I love heavy metal, yet over half the clothes in my wardrobe are pink.
So for me, the 2 sides of Charlie are very real indeed. I also like that you write her with baggage. Regarding all that she's been through, she should have some. My mom was adopted by a very nice family, but she still has shitloads of baggage over it.
And even Charlie's bed hopping seems real. I mean, she has some major issues. She's been through a lot, so it's only natural that she might be on the look out for someone to really latch onto, and on this neverending quest to be loved by someone, especially since she lost her adoptive family, and has found out that both of her biological parents are gone.

I'll admit that at first I thought her and James or Lars jumping in the sack was gross because they're her dad's friends. Some of my dad's friends aren't bad looking dudes, but the very thought of jumping into bed and playing with their 20-year-older-than-me balls ick!!!!!!!
But considering what Charlie has been through, I can understand why she did it, and you wrote it very well. This just goes to show you, that even though I was thinking"damn, she's not really going to sleep with her dead father's friends is she?" You still wrote it so well and convincingly that I was literally at the edge of my seat thinking "damn, this author is sure amazingly talented, and should be doing this professionally. :)

I can't wait to read more and feel free to talk about the story as much as you'd like. It's very good and you deserve to talk about your masterpiece. :)

And I probably didn't make much sense in this reply. It's morning. I need coffee.
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Metalicious
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Blackened
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Apologies for the long post. My internet connection is a little touch and go lately, so I don't want to break this up in case only part of it makes it on.

The next couple of chapters are mostly filler, to move the story along. Hope you enjoy regardless.

and the replies? Made my DAY. Thanks!! :biggrin

*************************************************************

I woke with the sun, creeping downstairs to make coffee while Pepper slept. I let the dogs in and fed them, letting them eat while I changed into my running gear. Leaving a note for Pep, saying where I’d gone, I put the dogs on their leashes and slipped out the front door.

We were half way down my street when a black Mercedes pulled up alongside us, and the window rolled down. “Morning, Charlie.”

“Morning, Chief. Doing the drive-bys a little early these days, huh?”

He smiled warmly at me. “Some days, too early. But this isn’t a drive-by. You mind if I join you?” The car stopped and he got out, clad in sweats and Nikes. I watched as the Mercedes drove off, and then we fell into an easy jog. “I know you’ve got a lot going on lately, and I appreciate you keeping us so up to date with all the new faces we’re seeing. I wish all our clients were so proactive. How was your hunting trip?”

“Excellent. Bagged two deer, chilled out, it was good to get away for a little while.” We rounded the corner from my street and I saw the black Mercedes again.

“You’re still doing classes at the gun club?”

“I am. I missed it last night, though. Sort of adjusting to my new, summer schedule, and it’s hard to make myself go when I’ve got company I’d rather hang out with.”

“I understand,” he said quietly, picking up the pace a little. “But it’s important not to lose your skills. Once things in your routine get more normal, you might want to think about adding another class.”

I glanced at him. “Something you wanna share with me, Chief? Such as why you think I need more gun practice?”

He upped the pace again and I adjusted so I was running in step with him. “We’ve noticed some movement around your place lately. Nothing to do with your new friends. These are young guys, kids. The same two have been past your house every night for the last four.” He looked at me. “They drive around the block twice, not slowly enough to raise anybody’s suspicions, and then they come back a few hours later and do it again.”

“What do they look like?” I knew a lot of teenagers from working with Mike at the garage, and guys in their twenties from working at the bar.

“One black kid, one white, and the white guy always has this red trucker’s hat on. They never get out of the car, so I don’t know how tall they are, but the black kid’s the driver, and he wears a skull ring on his left hand.”

“Silver?”

“Yeah.”

“Does he also wear a big fake diamond crucifix around his neck?”

“Yeah. You know the guy?”

“Yup. He’s a friend of a client of mine. Probably just wants to talk. If you see him again, tell him to stop by Jake’s tomorrow night, I’ll be there. And if he can’t manage that, maybe ask one of your boys to bring him by the house. If he’s been doing this four nights in a row, I’m guessing whatever he wants to talk about is fairly urgent.”

We chatted for a few more minutes, and then the Mercedes pulled up behind us and he got in the backseat.

“We’re gonna step up the patrols in the meantime, Charlie. Just to be safe. I talked to Richard on the weekend. He realizes that with having the summer off, you’re less likely to be on anyone’s radar, but he was adamant that we not slack off. You too, kid. Back at the club next week, okay?”

I nodded and caught my breath as the car drove off. So my boss was telling my security company to increase the protective surveillance on me. Somehow, that made me feel less safe. I jogged back to the house slowly, went through the garage to the back yard and unleashed the dogs.

Pepper was in the kitchen, pouring coffee when I walked in. “Morning, pretty girl. You just missed a call from Kirk, he wanted to give us the directions to the hospital where Ray is. I’ve got all the info, but we can call him if we get lost. Good run?”

“Yeah. Dogs enjoyed it, anyway. You sleep okay?” I took the mug he’d poured for me and followed him out to the deck.

“Very well. What about you? You stayed pretty still all night, I didn’t even have to fight for the blankets.”

I smiled at him. “Great sleep. Woke up feeling a little anxious at 3am, thinking about today, but it helped seeing you beside me.” I watched Duke and Fire chase each other around the lawn. “I’d forgotten how reassuring it is to wake up with you next to me. I got really used to that for a while.”

He looked at me with a grave expression on his face. “Charlie, be honest. Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to marry me and live in a swamp?” he tried not to smile. “You could wake up with me next to you every day. Right before you had to get up and take care of our seven kids, clean the hut and cook me breakfast.” A full grin had spread across his face.

“You are insufferable,” I giggled. “I gotta go shower and stuff. Leave in about forty-five minutes?”

“Yes ma’am.”

I showered quickly and then spent twenty minutes picking out what to wear. The weather was gorgeous, it was already in the high seventies, and getting hotter. But shorts seemed too casual, and I wanted to make a good first impression. I sat on the bed in my towel, staring at my closet.

“You gonna wear that?” Pepper stood grinning in the doorway. He held up his hands when I scowled at him. “What? It’s fine, you look very nice in white terrycloth. Or,” he wandered over to my closet, “you could wear…this.” He handed me a knee-length, a-line, white, cotton skirt and a thin, pale pink sweater. “With those little pink sandals you can barely walk in.”

I stared at him in awe. “Have you been reading my Vogues again? I don’t know how I feel about you dressing me two days in a row.”

He chuckled. “Just trying to get you outta here on time. Anyway, you wore that last time you came to visit me, it’s pretty. Wear the sparkly stuff you had on last night, too,” he called over his shoulder.

Wow. Welcome to COC Eye for the Straight Girl. I got dressed and carried the shoes with me as I went downstairs. Fastening my bracelet, I happened to glance out the window to see Chief’s Mercedes driving by.

“Ready? I’m driving, right? I let you drive in those heels and we’ll be off the road before we’re out of the driveway.”

I turned to face Pep and smiled. “Sure, you drive. Go start the truck, I just need to grab a couple of things.”

I went into the library and reached for one of the family photo albums. Flipping through it, I decided not to take anything out, but bring the whole thing. It was a small one, put together by my uncle for my last birthday. I had no idea if Cliff’s dad would be interested in seeing it, but it might be fun.

I joined Pepper in the truck and we made it about fifty yards down the street before he pulled over, muttering about ‘pansy rock’ that was on the radio, and put in one of the many Metallica cds that were in the glove compartment. ‘Sabbra Cadabra’ was soon blasting through the cab of the truck, with Pepper and I yelling along happily.

I saw a florist’s shop about half an hour into the drive and got Pep to pull over so I could get something for Ray. After a heated discussion between Pepper and the florist about what constituted a ‘manly’ flower, we settled on a little African Violet plant, and I also picked up a couple of boxes of Belgian chocolates.

When we arrived at the hospital, the receptionist told us that visiting hours wouldn’t begin for another thirty minutes. Pepper tried bribing her with one of the boxes of chocolates but she just laughed and asked us to wait in the lobby. I paced slowly while Pepper flipped through the photo album I’d brought.

“Awww…I’ve never seen these. Look at you. All little and short hair and no front teeth. Oh my God, you’re wearing a Yankees jersey. Man, the brainwashing began early, huh?” He laughed and I sat beside him. The picture was one of my dad and I, sitting in our backyard in the summer. His white portable radio was in his hand, and I was balanced on his knee. I must have been about five. Pepper looked at me. “Listening to a game, were you?” I nodded. He smiled and flipped to the next picture, and burst out laughing. “Oh my lord, have you showed this to the guys? This is awesome.” I grinned.

Three of my girlfriends and I had dressed up like Metallica for a Halloween party in grade eight. I’d gone as James, wavy blond hair and tight jeans, a ripped Misfits tank top and black wrist bands. I’d even found a wolf’s head pendant and put it on a leather string around my neck. The four of us were sneering into the camera, trying to look as angry as possible. We’d carried around our instruments all night, even Kimmy, who’d gone as Lars and carried drumsticks, and we played little off-key songs at the party.

“Hey…I remember when this was taken. This was when your uncle came to visit, yeah?” He chuckled. “He came up behind you when you were barbecuing and I thought you were gonna spear him through the heart with the tongs.”

“Yeah, I was still pretty jumpy. We’d only been back at your house for a week or two when this was taken. I love this picture. Two of my favorite guys.” I’d taken it when they weren’t looking. They were in Pep’s backyard, and Pepper was talking about something, probably music, waving his beer around, and Tim was laughing at whatever he’d said. The two of them had sat out there until well after sunset. I’d gone to bed with the window open so I could hear their voices. Tim’s thick New England accent against Pepper’s soft drawl. I remembered Pepper getting into bed next to me later on, and mumbling that he was gonna marry me so he could become related to Tim, cause he thought he was cool.

“Miss Tyler? Visiting hours have begun, if you and your friend would like to go up. Mr. Burton is in room twenty-five, on the second floor.” We thanked the receptionist and found the stairwell.

“Nervous?” Pepper glanced at me as we opened the door to the second level of the hospital.

“Yeah. He doesn’t even know I’m coming. He just…said to visit. So I am. Is that bad?”

“Nah, he’ll love it. There’s his room. The plant and I can wait outside, okay? You go in first, yell if you need me.” He gave me a quick hug and kissed my forehead.

I knocked on the open door and heard a quiet, “Yes?” and went in. I saw Ray first, lying on the bed, looking about as well as he had on the video. He raised his eyebrows at me in question, wondering who I was. The woman sitting on a chair beside his bed got up immediately and put her hand over her mouth.

“Oh my God. Charlie,” she gasped. I nodded mutely. “Why sweetie, you’re just the spitting image of your mother.”
________________________________________________________________________

“Hey, Charlie, c’mon darlin’. There you go.” I opened my eyes and saw Pepper leaning over me, smiling. “Well hello, Scarlet O’Hara. Was your corset a little tight this morning? You swooned clear down to the floor. Scared the bejesus out of your grandmother.” I closed my eyes and groaned. Brilliant first impression. I whispered something to Pepper and he hooted with laughter. “No, you didn’t flash anyone. Sit up, okay? The nurse is bringing you some water.”

I looked over at Ray and Jan, who were grinning from ear to ear. “Sorry for fainting.”

I sighed. “I wanted to make a good first impression. Maybe I could go out? Come in again, without collapsing to the floor?”

Ray laughed. “No way, that was the best first impression ever. ‘Hello…thud’. Come here, honey, let us get a look at you.” I stood, still a little wobbly, and Jan sat on the bed so I could have the chair. Pepper hovered beside me, and thanked the nurse who’d brought the water. I took a sip and looked at them, trying to find a similarity in features between myself and the two people in front of me. Except…wait a minute.

“I’m sorry, did you say I look just like my mother?” I looked at Jan, who was holding Ray’s hand in hers.

She smiled. “You sure do. You have her eyes, and her build, and you hold yourself the same way. And she used to pull on her earlobes when she was nervous, too,” she gestured at my left hand, which was tugging on my earring. I dropped my hand to my lap self-consciously.

“So…you knew her? It sounds like you knew her pretty well, actually.” Pepper was using his grown-up voice, as he called it. Quiet and serious, without as much of his usual drawl. It was the same tone he’d used with every lawyer, doctor and policeman we’d dealt with in the past. It made me a little nervous but I knew he was just feeling protective.

“We did. She and Cliff dated for almost two years. She was a year older, and so pretty. You remember, Ray, her name was Andrea. Cliff always called her Andie. She moved away just after Cliff’s birthday.” She smiled at me again. “To have you, I suppose. She and Cliff kept in touch for a while with phone calls, but that stopped after a few months.”

I smiled back at her. “This is so amazing. I can’t believe you knew her.” I looked over at Ray, who was wincing. “Are you okay? Can I get a nurse for you? Some water?” I grinned. “Some bone marrow?”

He laughed, then winced again. “I’m fine, Charlie, just a back spasm. It’ll pass in a minute. C’mon, now, we want to hear all about you.” He settled back against his pillows as Jan rearranged his blankets. One of the nurses had brought in some more chairs, and the three of us formed a little semi-circle around the side of his bed. I sat between the bed and Jan’s chair, and we went through the photo album. They were almost in hysterics when I showed them the Halloween photo.

We talked until noon, when one of the doctors came in to talk with Ray. Pepper suggested we take off for lunch and come back after. I agreed, and we arranged to return at two. I told Pepper I’d meet him at the truck and caught up to Ray’s doctor.

After a brief chat, I popped my head into Ray’s room again. “Hey…Dr. Marks said they can do the bone marrow removal this afternoon. I’m gonna have some blood drawn for the HLA test before we go, and if it’s a match, they can fit me in after lunch.” Ray held out his arms and I hurried over to hug him.

“Are you sure about this, sweetie? There’s no rush, and you should really take time to think about it. It’s not exactly a fun procedure…”

“Don’t argue with me,” I grinned at him. “I have that ‘driven’ gene you were talking about. The pushy one? I want to do this, so you better let me.” I winked at him and he laughed. “I’ll see you in a couple hours.” I waved at them and jogged down the hallway to where Dr. Marks was waiting.

A few minutes later I stepped out into the parking lot where Pepper was waiting in the truck.

“Doing it this afternoon?”

“Yup.”

“Nothin’ I can say to make you wait a little longer? Think about it some more?”

“Nope.”

He sighed. “What’s for lunch, then?”

I laughed. “Burgers. Apparently I won’t have much of an appetite after this, so I better eat a lot now.”

We found a decent-looking diner and seated ourselves, and I filled Pepper in on the hunting trip after we’d ordered. He laughed when I told him about the card game, and glared at me when I mentioned getting lost in the woods.

“What about you? What’d you do while we were away? Other than look around in my closet and study fashion tips in my magazines, of course.”

He smiled. “Just some business stuff. Couple meetings about the tour, couple interviews, things like that.” He drummed his fingers softly on the table.

I looked at his face carefully. “Pep?”

“Mmm?”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

His fingers stopped drumming. “What? I’m not…nothing. Huh?”

“Liar.” Our food arrived and he immediately took a huge bite of his burger. “Yeah, that’s fine, Keenan. I can wait.”

We finished eating and lingered over coffee before heading back to the hospital. Dr. Marks greeted us as we entered, saying the test results were good enough to suggest the transplant would work, and the risk of graft-versus-host-disease could likely be avoided. I was impressed with the speed at which they readied me for the surgery, and pleased to find out they were only going to use regional anesthesia, and it would wear off after a few hours.

“You’re not driving home,” Pep murmured in my ear as the doctor kept talking. “I don’t care how soon the stuff wears off.”

I shushed him and smiled at Dr. Marks. “Okay, get harvesting.”

Jan was allowed to accompany Pepper in the observation area, above the surgical floor, and I looked up at them as the needle was inserted into my pelvic bone. The whole procedure only took an hour, and Dr. Marks’ bedside manner was excellent. He talked me through what he was going to do, and we spent the rest of the time chatting. Although I couldn’t feel anything below my waist, I was still totally lucid and able to carry on a conversation.

“Alright, Charlie. That’s it. We’re going to process this and freeze it for Ray to use later.”

“Cryopreservation,” Pepper yelled from above. I grinned at him. “Yeah, that’s right, I did some research.” Dr. Marks laughed.

I was wheeled into Ray’s room a little while later and found him sitting up, reading.

“Everything go okay?” He asked as he put the book down.

“Yup. My white blood cells are gonna kick your cancer cells’ asses.”

He reached for my hand. “Thank you for doing this. And so quickly, it’s very kind of you. I’m still surprised you came today. I only made that video on Tuesday.”

“Well, you were pretty persuasive,” I grinned at him. “I wanted to meet you both. And I want to see you again. Soon. Would that be okay?”

He nodded. “Come back anytime. Dr. Marks mentioned I might be able to go home in a week or two. You should come visit.”

Pepper came into the room and said we should get going. He wanted to get me back home long before the anesthesia started to wear off. We said our goodbyes and I promised to come back the next week.

I left the two boxes of chocolates behind the nurses’ station, thanking them for taking such good care of Ray.

Pep wheeled me out the truck and lifted me carefully inside, buckling my seatbelt for me. Returning the wheelchair to the lobby, he walked back to the truck and climbed in. Putting on his sunglasses, he turned the key. “Pretty proud of you today, baby girl. You handled that nicely. Specially the fainting part,” he grinned.

I laughed. “Proud of you too, Mr. Cryopreservation. You’ve been doing research, huh?”

He nodded, waiting as a car passed before turning onto the main road. “Just wanted to know what the transplant involved. Wanted to make sure you weren’t gonna be in any great risk.” He patted my leg and I chuckled.

“I can’t feel that, Keenan.”

He laughed and pulled his hand away. I reached into the glove compartment and put on the first Garage Inc. disc. Forwarding until I found the track I wanted, I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes.

“You love this song, don’t you.” I heard Pep say quietly.

“Only this version.” I smiled as he sang along softly with James’ voice. Pepper must have broken many speed limits, cause we made in home in under forty minutes. James’ truck was in the driveway when we pulled up to the house. Pepper and I looked at each other. “You didn’t wanna tell him about this right away, right?”

I nodded. “Enough drama, he doesn’t need another thing to worry about.”

He blew out a breath. “Any idea how I can carry you through the front door without arousing suspicion?”

“Uh…no. Maybe he’s in the backyard?”

“Yeah, let’s hope so.” He hopped out of the truck and came around to my side, waiting as I put my arms around his neck and then carefully lifting me out. I laughed as he turned quickly, banging my feet against the truck’s door to close it.

“Easy tiger, I can’t feel that now but it might hurt later.”

Opening the front door, I could hear James and Lars chatting in the kitchen. James came over when he saw us and Pepper handed me off to him.

“Hi.” He looked confused as he held me.

“Hi, yourself.” I grinned at him.

Lars walked by, planting a kiss on my cheek. “Hi, little one.”

“Hey, Danish,” I replied, eyes still on James.

“So…how was your day?” He asked. I giggled as he shifted me in his arms.

“Good. You can put me down, preferably not on the floor,” I added as he almost dropped me. “How was your day?”

“Yeah, um, good. Why was he carrying you?”

Crap.

I took a deep breath and let it out. “I, um, went to see Cliff’s folks today. In the hospital.”

“And then she passed out,” Pepper called from the kitchen, laughing. I glared at him.

“I fainted a little. I’m fine,” I assured James, who was looking more and more anxious by the second. “It’s just…they knew my mom and the first thing Jan said when she saw me was that I looked like her – my mom – and that was a little overwhelming so I fainted. But I’m fine!”

“You’re not fine, you still can’t walk!” James was almost shouting.

“Hey, stop yelling.”

“I’m not yelling!” He blushed and lowered his voice. “I’m not yelling. I’m just…concerned.”

I smiled. “Thank you. It’s nice that you’re concerned. But really, I’m fine. Just being my melodramatic self, apparently. Anyway, I had a talk with Ray’s doctor, and we did a quick blood test to see if I was a good match as a donor, and then after lunch they took some bone marrow. Yay! What’d you guys do today?”

James looked livid. “You’ve already donated? So quickly? Fuck, Charlie, did you even take time to think about it? Do you know how risky it can be?” He stood up and started pacing.

“James…relax. It’s not risky. They didn’t even do general anesthesia. I told you, I’m fine. It was really quick, and Ray’s doctor is awesome…”

He stopped pacing and stared at me. “But you just went ahead and went up there. Did you even call and tell him you were coming? Give them any warning? You certainly didn’t give ME any warning,” he muttered.

“Um, I’m sorry? I have to run these things past you now? What would you like, James, a fax of my schedule for the day? They wanted to meet me, they met me. They wanted some bone marrow, they got it. Where’s the problem, Hetfield?” I had joined in the yelling. Pepper and Lars were standing in the kitchen, watching us.

“The problem, Tyler, is that you could have been hurt. What if they’d had to do general anesthesia and you never woke up? What if there were complications? And what’s with the fainting? That can’t be good. You’re always trying to take care of everything yourself. God, woman, you just don’t think. You just…you just DO things.” He raked his hands through his hair and started pacing again. “Fuck!” He yelled and took off through the front door.

Pepper wandered into the lounge and sat beside me. “I think that went well,” he grinned.

“Oh yeah, me too.” I laughed and threw a pillow at him. “So there’s a rule now, is there, Danish? I have to be fighting with a member of the band at all times?”

Lars smiled as he sat on the other side of me. “He had a long day. Big session with Phil. I think that was pretty draining for him.” He sighed. “We needed to clear the air about the things I said to you during dinner, and he wasn’t happy when I told him.”

“What’d you say to her during dinner?” Pepper leaned forward and narrowed his eyes at Lars.

“No, no way. No more fighting. Easy, Pep,” I put a hand on his leg. “It’s all sorted, baby. Nothing to get upset about.”

He glanced at Lars again and then looked at me. “I’m gonna go pick up some painkillers for you, the ones that Marks guy suggested. You sit tight, okay? I’ll be back soon.”

“Yeah…I’m not goin’ anywhere, eh?” I grinned up at him. He bent down and kissed my cheek. “Love you,” we said at the same time.

Lars laughed. “You feeling okay?” he asked softly as Pep shut the door.

“I’m alright. It’s weird, I’ve never not been able to feel my legs before.”

“How’d it work? They put a needle in your back or your arm, or what?”

I lowered the waist of my skirt slightly to show him the mark and both of us gasped. “Fuck me, that’s a big bruise. Pepper really beat the hell outta you on the way home, huh?” Lars joked.

“Wow. I bruise easily, but this is ridiculous.” The entire left side of my abdomen and hip was purple.

“Does it hurt?” Lars prodded the area gently.

“Can’t feel a thing. Little worried about how it’s gonna feel when the drugs wear off, though. Can you just, um, turn around for a second?”

He complied and I lifted my skirt to check my leg. The bruising continued down my hip to mid-thigh. I lowered the skirt and told Lars he could turn around again.

“Lovely. I’m fourteen shades of blue. So, you and James okay? You work stuff out?”

“Think so. He was pretty pissed about dinner, understandably. And he was worried about you. You told him you’d left because you didn’t feel like drinking. But really it was because of me, right?” he said quietly. I nodded. “I’m so sorry, Charlie. I was angry, and worried that you were just using James. I thought you’d been using me.” He touched his hand to my face. “I said some horrible things.”

“Yeah, but I kissed you and then you saw me cuddling with Pep, and then I went to a secluded cabin with James for three days. I can see how that could be construed as…less than ladylike.” He started to speak and I cut him off. “I know it doesn’t excuse what you said, I’m just telling you I can understand why you might have said what you did.”

“He really cares for you, Charlie.”

“Oh, I can totally tell. That little stomping and yelling routine? He’s crazy about me.”

Lars laughed. “No, he is, I swear. The stomping and yelling is his way of saying he’s worried about you. He’s scared you’re gonna get hurt again. I think the book threw him for a bit of a loop. It’s pretty hard to look at.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Uh huh. Looking at them is really tough. Being the girl in the pictures? No sweat, piece of cake. God, Lars, if I could move my legs, I’d be kicking your ass right now.”

He giggled. “Sorry sweetie. I was only trying to explain-”

“Yeah, yeah, he likes me. I get it.” I winked at him. “So how come you’re here, at my house?”

He stood up and went into the kitchen. I turned to watch and he lifted a bass guitar off the floor and brought it over to me. “We wanted to give you a present. It’s one of Cliff’s.”

My jaw hit the floor. I recovered quickly and shook my head. “No, Lars, I can’t. I promised I wouldn’t. I know it sounds ungrateful, and I love that you thought to do this, but I can’t. Seriously. It’s actually in a contract somewhere. Your lawyers have it.”

He tilted his head at me and laughed. “I’m not taking this back with me, Charlie. It’s staying here.”

“Lars, no. I’m not kidding. I just…it’s too much.” I slumped against the couch. “There just isn’t a way to say this without sounding horribly ungrateful!”

He came to sit beside me, leaning the bass against the coffee table. “Wanna try to explain?”

I sighed. “If you want to give me something to do with Cliff, I would love to have a picture of him. I mean, I have magazines and I used to have tons of posters when I was younger, but a real photograph. That would be cool. But this,” I waved my hand at the bass, “this is just…I don’t know. I won’t appreciate it as much as somebody else will.” I tried to turn to face him and couldn’t quite manage it, so he came around to the other side of me. “I don’t see this like some people would. To me, this is just a guitar. It’s something that he played, so yeah, it’s got his fingerprints on it, and it’s cool that he used it, but it doesn’t say ‘Cliff’ to me the way a photo of the band might. Just doesn’t capture him the way something else might. And, God, it’s not that I don’t think this is the sweetest gesture ever, you bringing this over, but there are only so many guitars that he owned, and I think there might be a better use for this one.”

Lars smiled. “Like…”

I thought for a moment. “Like if you auctioned it off, and then gave the proceeds to a cancer research fund. Or, even better, what if the next time a Make-A-Wish visitor comes by HQ, you guys present the bass to him or her at the end of the day?” I gave him a hopeful smile. “I’m already so lucky, Danish. I get to say that you guys are my friends, I get to actually spend time with you. The guitar is awesome, but what about giving it to somebody who’ll be absolutely thrilled with it, instead of freaking out and yapping on about contracts?”

“But we wanted to give you something of Cliff’s…”

I grinned at him. “Well, apparently I already have his smile, so, I’m not sure how you can top that.” He smacked my leg and I giggled. “If you want to give me something of his, why don’t you just pick out a photo. Oooh! Maybe a copy of the one of you and him, the one on your wall. Would that be okay?”

“Sure. I’ll get a copy made tomorrow.”

The door slammed shut and Pepper appeared in the hall. “Stupid pharmacy didn’t have what I asked for.” He kicked his shoes off and came into the lounge, dumping a paper bag of pills onto the table. “I got this stuff instead. Should be something in there that’ll do the trick.”

I laughed. “Awesome. Security guys are gonna think we’re running a drug ring.”

“How’re you feeling?” Pepper ran a hand over my hair and felt my forehead. “You’re a little warm.”

“Yeah, and you should check out her leg.” Lars pointed to my hip, getting up to move the bass off the table.

“What? Lemme see,” he gingerly pushed my skirt up slightly and swore at the bruising. “Christ, Charlie, that’s crazy. I’m gonna call Dr. Marks.”

I grabbed his arm before he could get up. “No, you are not. Relax, I’m sure this is normal. I know it’s excessive, but it was a big needle. And you saw me after I had those blood tests in New Orleans, I looked like I’d taken up heroin. If it doesn’t look a little better in the morning, then I’ll call the doctor.”

“Fine. If you’re sure. I’ll get you a drink, I think you should probably pop a couple pills before your legs thaw out,” he grinned. “Want anything else while I’m up?”

“Actually yeah, can you throw in a movie or something?” He nodded and I saw him put ‘The Emporer’s New Groove’ in the dvd player.

“…really?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, baby, I know you love that movie.” He returned from the kitchen with a glass of lemonade and opened one of the pill bottles. “Here, no idea what these are, but take two.” I swallowed them down and eyed Pepper curiously as he handed me another one. “Yeah, I know, but the pharmacist said these were good too. I just don’t want you to be in a lot of pain when the three hours are up.” I swallowed the other pill and settled back against the cushions to watch the movie.

When the movie ended, I looked around and saw I was alone. I tried moving my legs and found that they seemed to be working fine. Shifting so I was sitting up, I tried standing, and promptly fell over. I giggled and tried again. Standing unsteadily against the couch, I called out for Pepper. When he didn’t answer, I made my way into the kitchen, and saw he was sitting outside with Lars by the fire pit.

I leaned against the deck railing and slowly took the steps one at a time. I had almost reached the fire when Lars noticed me.

“Hey, you’re up. And you can walk! How do you feel?”

“Awesome,” I grinned at him, before falling over once again. “Walking is haaaaard.”

Pep hauled me up and plunked me in his lap. “Sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Uh huh. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.”

He laughed. “You gonna be quoting the movie for the rest of the night?”

I giggled. “Llama face…” I mumbled against his shirt.

“God, she must have watched that movie a hundred times when she stayed with me,” I heard him telling Lars.

“Beware the groove…” I said in my spookiest voice. “Groooooove…”

“Okay. I think maybe you’re ready to go to bed.” He leaned back and looked at my face. “Very nice pupils. Did you smoke something while I wasn’t looking?”

I giggled. “No…wanna?”

He grinned and shook his head. “No way. Last time we did that, you had the giggles for four hours and then you ate half a lasagna, and I didn’t get any sleep because you insisted I stay up and watch THAT movie with you. Bedtime, doll. Lars, would you mind helping her inside? I’m just gonna put out the fire.”

Lars hooked an arm around my waist and guided me back inside, careful to go slowly up the stairs. “I’ll let Pepper help you get ready for bed, okay?”

“Noooo…s’fine, I can do it.” I struggled to get my sweater over my head and heard Lars laughing.

“Okay, okay. Where do you keep your shorts and stuff?”

I pointed at my dresser and flopped down on the bed. He tossed me some shorts and a tank top and turned around while I changed.

“Done!” I yelled. He turned around and rushed to my side.

“Christ, Charlie, you’ve gone from purple to green. I’m really not sure that’s a good thing. I’m gonna get Pepper.”

“Nooooooooooooooo! Stop worrying! It’s fine, just bruises. I’ll recover. I’m good at that. You saw the book, right, and now look at me! Perfect!” I grinned and rolled off the bed to stand up. “See?” I sat down again, patting the bed. “C’mere. Sit by me.”

He sat and I took his hand in mine. I leaned in and looked him in the eye. “Do you really think I’m a whore?”

He closed his eyes and swore softly under his breath. Opening his eyes again, he took my chin in his hand. “No, sweetheart, I don’t. I was upset when I said those things, and I didn’t mean them.”

I considered that. “But…the rest of what you said was true. I did try to seduce you, and then I slept with James, and then I pretended to be dating Keenan. I slept in the same bed as you, a bunch of times, and last night I stayed with Pep, cause he was sad…maybe you were right?” I looked at him sadly. “Maybe I am like that.”

He shook his head and looked up at Pepper, who’d appeared in the doorway. “Go find out what she took tonight. No more of those.” Turning back to me as Pepper went downstairs, he spoke slowly. “You are NOT any of the things I called you. Sleeping in the same bed as me only makes you a friend who I trust, and a great person to cuddle with. Same goes for sleeping in the same bed as Pep. He and I had a good talk tonight while you watched your llama movie. Sounds like you’ve been there for him as much as he has for you. And as for you and James, that’s not really any of my business."

“I didn’t mean to screw everything up with him and Fran.” I said softly.

“You didn’t, Charlie. They had plenty of things to work out before you came along. If anything, what’s happened between you and him has just motivated them to figure out their relationship once and for all.”

“Okay,” Pepper stood breathless in the doorway. “No more of these,” he held up a small blue bottle, “or these,” holding up a larger white one.

“I’m gonna take off, guys. I’ll call you tomorrow, see how you’re feeling.” Lars got up and hugged me and gave Pepper a hug too before heading out.

“Grooooooooooooove…” I leered at Pep as he sat beside me.

He laughed. “Demon llama,” he chuckled.

I giggled and pulled him down to lay next to me. “Hey, Keenan?”

He sighed and rolled over to face me. “Yeah, Tyler?”

“Do you ever wonder…do you think we’re supposed to be together? Like, together together. Not just friends?”

He smiled and laid his arm over my waist. “Sometimes I think about it.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Like when?”

“Like last night at dinner. You and Trish came back from the bar, and you looked…all grown up. Elegant and sophisticated. I briefly entertained the thought of tearing your dress off.”

I thought for a moment. “I am all grown up. Do I normally seem otherwise?”

“You normally run around in West Coast Chopper hoodies and jeans. I don’t get to see you all dolled up like that very much. Why, babes? Do you think we’re supposed to have a different sort of relationship?”

I shrugged. “Dunno. I love things how they are, and you know how I feel about one night of good sex as opposed to a lifetime of friendship.” I ran a hand up his side. “Anyway, guys come and go. Literally,” I winked at him and he laughed. “You and me, though, this isn’t going anywhere. This is for good. I don’t wanna do anything to spoil it.” I was silent for a moment. “Tearing my dress off, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you should-”

“Sleep in my own room? Good plan.” He grinned as he got up. “You know we’d never let it get that far.”

I smiled. “I know. But I still feel a little loopy and you look all cute and sexy when you sleep with no shirt on, so…”

“I’m going.” He bent down and kissed me softly. “Still love you.”

“Love you, too. Okay, go, seriously. Man, what are the side effects of those pills? Severe horniness? Night babes.” I smiled as he backed out of the room, turning off the light for me.

I closed my eyes and laughed. “Think unsexy thoughts…think unsexy thoughts…” My cell phone rang and I answered it without thinking. “Hello?”

“Okay…suppose we did let it get that far, what would you be wearing, and what would I get to take off first…”

I laughed. “Hang up the phone, you jackass!” I clicked ‘end’ and walked down the hall to his room. “Do I need to lock the door to my room?”

He laughed. “No, I was kidding. I’ll look after myself, sweets.”

I sat on the bed and played with his hair. “It’s none of my business, babes, and she’d probably kill me for saying this, but what do you think of Trish?”

He smiled. “I like her. She’s fun, seems to be a good friend to you, makes me laugh…ohhhh. No. Un uh. I see where this is going. I can’t, Charlie, she’s your friend. If anything went wrong, if one of us got hurt, you’d go crazy trying to decide which side to be on.”

“I don’t think that would happen. She’s pretty good at handling guys, and you’re more than capable of managing the women.” I sighed. “I do love the idea of having you to myself for the rest of my life, but one day you’re gonna fall head over heels for some little chicky, and I’m gonna have to share. Be pretty cool if that chicky was a friend of mine.”

He seemed to ponder this for a while. “Think she’d be interested?”

“In sleeping with you? Definitely. In dating you? Possibly. Something to think about, maybe?”

He closed his eyes and grinned. “Thinkin’ about it right now…”

“Ewwwwwwww,” I slapped his shoulder and laughed. “Gross. Get some sleep, perv. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He hugged me again and I padded down the hall to my room, crawled under the covers and fell asleep almost instantly.


*************************************************************
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Lucifer's Angel
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Wow, I don't think I'd be able to go through that :wacko: She's brave. And what's with these kids, I hope they don't hurt her :angry James was so worried, but he's got a weird way of showing it :rolleyes: Maybe she should take up Pepper on his offer :wink
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maisy blue
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Some Kind Of Monster
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Oh, how I :heart: this story so very much. It's so great.

Please don't apologize for it being long- the long updates make me SO happy. It means I get to sit down, relax, and lose myself in the awesomeness of Charlie.

And I know what you mean about wanting to talk about the story and the characters- I am the SAME way. Maddy is like my sister now. She's come alive through the story and it's hard not to want to discuss her.

I have to admit, I really really felt for Charlie with the bone marrow stuff. I have heard that's one of the most painful procedures a person can have, even with local anesthetic. I'm really pissed off that the guys didn't set her up with an intercom or portable phone and she had to wobble out to get the guys.

I'm worried about those two kids and why they are driving by Charlie's house. She has enough shit to deal with.

Poor Pepper... that guy has got it BAD for Charlie. I think that's why I made my male friend character gay- it's so much easier that way. Not that it means nothing could happen...

I can't wait to see what happens next. Sorry I can't always comment as much as I'd like, but please know I am always reading and hitting "refresh", "refresh", waiting for you to update.




:dance :heart:
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Metalicious
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Blackened
[ * ]
Thanks for the replies! And for excusing my long posts. I'm anxious to move the story along to get to the later parts.

Maisy, I think that's why I made Charlie oblivious to Pepper's feelings towards her - so she wouldn't have to deal with them. Not yet, anyway.

Now...from Wikipedia:
Quote:
 
A plot device is an element introduced into a story to solely to advance or resolve the plot of the story. In the hands of a skilled writer, the reader or viewer will not notice that the device is a construction of the author; it will seem to follow naturally from the setting or characters in the story. A poorly-written story, on the other hand, may have such awkward or contrived plot devices that the reader has serious trouble maintaining suspension of disbelief.


The next couple of chapters have a lot of this going on to get the story to go the way I wanted it to. Plot Device, meet Charlie. Charlie, meet Plot Device.

There. Ready? Go! :biggrin


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I spent most of Friday with Benny and Mike at the garage, working on a group of hot rods and regaling the guys with my hunting tales. By mid-afternoon I was hot, sweaty and covered head to toe in grease and oil. My hip was still aching from the needle, and the bruising had lightened in color only slightly, but I could walk normally and the drugs had worn off completely.

At four p.m. I took off in the truck and headed to the gun club. I’d called ahead to book time in and Johnny, the owner, had said it wouldn’t be a problem. He looked rather amused when I showed up looking like a grease monkey.

“Afternoon, Charlie. I see you got all dressed up for your session.” He grinned at me as I followed him to the gun cage. “Got something different for you to try. Chief thought you might like it.” He held up a scary-looking rifle with a vented barrel and a huge magazine. “We’ve only got a few of these on hand, they’re not sold in California anymore. It’s an assault rifle. Fires a hell of a shot, penetrates anything. Wanna try it out?” He loaded the gun and my hands stayed at my sides.

“Not really.”

He gave me an encouraging smile. “I know it looks heavy, but you’ll get used to it. C’mon, I’ll set you up and we’ll see how you get on.” We walked through a small corridor to a private range, and he clicked the button to move the target back and waited til it reached the hundred yard mark before he stopped it.

We both put on protective headphones and I lifted the weapon, surprised as its lightness, and looked through the scope. Aiming carefully, I fired a round of a dozen successive shots. Pressing the button to bring the target closer for viewing, I turned to Johnny. “It’s light. Feels pretty slick too.”

“It is. You can fire a few hundred rounds and she won’t stick. Gets pretty hot after the first two hundred though.” He peered through the glass at the target and let out a low whistle. I’d managed to get a few shots to the head, and the rest were lower. “Okay, stay with this, try to do them in groups of ten or so. Shoulder, chest and head. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Got a Micro Uzi I want you to try out too.”

I nodded and put out a fresh target. John returned ten minutes later to find me examining my targets. “You were right,” I grinned at him. “She gets mighty hot after the first couple hundred.” The barrel had been burning to the touch when I’d finished.

He looked over the paper bodies with me and patted me on the back. “Good girl, nice grouping. Now,” he laid the Micro Uzi in front of me, “try this one.”

I picked it up. “You’re sure this is the Micro? Seems pretty heavy to me.” I took a step back and aimed, thought for a moment and put it down. “These are illegal. I remember reading about them, you can only get ‘em on the black market these days. I know you guys aren’t sending purchase orders through the Mafia, so where’d you get it?”

He hesitated, looking at the gun and then back at me. “Don’t ask.” I nodded and lifted the gun again. He watched my stance and then stood behind me, holding his hands over mine. He lifted the gun slightly higher and then put his hands on my shoulders as I fired and held the trigger down. A squeeze on my shoulder indicated I should stop. Laying the gun down, I turned to Johnny.

“Speedy.”

“I’ll say. You used up about fifty rounds in eight seconds. The aim’s a bit trickier with that one, I know you’re used to having a scope. Next time you’re here we’ll get you doing more stuff with the smaller guns.”

We spent the rest of the two hours going back and forth between the Uzi and the assault rifle, my arms starting to complain by the time six p.m. rolled around. I booked in a session for the following week and headed out to the truck. Hearing my phone ringing, I answered it quickly and heard Trish laughing on the other end.

“Hey girlie. You at Jake’s tonight?”

“Yeah, in about an hour. You coming by?”

“Not sure, I have a lot of stuff to do at the house. Listen, I had the weirdest call from Keenan earlier…I think he asked me out on a date or something. I said yes. Is that okay? I figured he would have run it past you first, but I just wanted to check.”

I grinned. “Yeah, he mentioned it. I definitely think you should go. Even if it doesn’t lead to anything, you’ll have an awesome time. You know how entertaining he is.”

“Cool. I might see you at Jake’s later on, otherwise I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love ya!”

I giggled to myself as I pulled onto the road. Not one for wasting time, seemed Pep was actually giving serious thought to this Trish thing.

I raced home and jumped in the shower. The grease and oil eventually came off and I towel dried my hair, singing along to the Beastie Boys as I got dressed. Beat-up short denim skirt, black belt with metal studs, white tank top with a black misfits-like skull on the front, black motorcycle boots and a black leather wrist cuff that had been a Christmas gift from Pepper. I piled on dark eye makeup and blasted the hair dryer through my hair quickly. Making a sandwich to eat on the way, I listened to my messages.

“Hey Charlie…it’s Chief. Just talked to Johnny, he said you did well today. I also had a chance to talk to that young man we discussed earlier. He’s going to try to catch up with you tonight at Jake’s. Let me know if you’d like one of us to be present. Talk to you soon.”

I shook my head at the machine. “Think I’ll try this without a babysitter, thanks.”

The second message was quick. “Hey, Charlie. It’s me…James. Just wanted to apologise for yesterday, I acted like an ass. I’ll try calling later on…bye…”

And the third one almost had me on the floor laughing. “Hey darlin’, I know you’re out all day and tonight, but I really need to talk to you. I called Trish and we’re going out – tomorrow. Um…now I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know where to take her or anything! Fuck. Call me? Damn it, Tyler, I think I might actually really like her. I’m so screwed. Nevermind, I’ll come by Jake’s tonight. Love you, bye!”

Awwww. What a cutie. I grabbed the sandwich and waved to the dogs as I left the house.

Jake’s was already hopping by the time I arrived. I went in the back and was greeted by a couple of the waitresses who were on break. Dropping my bag off in the kitchen, I reached for a popcorn shrimp only to have my hand batted away by Maggie, the cook. “Those aren’t for you!” she hissed and looked around. “There’s a plate of steak and fries on the counter,” she said in a low voice. “Eat it quickly, before Tommy sees you.” I shot her a grin and snuck into a corner to eat.

“Well, well. Jake’s started paying you in meat, has he?” I looked up at the sound of Tommy’s voice and choked down the piece of steak in my mouth. Tommy was Jake’s brother, and he was less than fond of me. Ever since he found out that I was working for free, he’d been trying to figure out my motive. Didn’t occur to him that I actually liked spending time behind the bar, not to mention it gave me a chance to hang out with Jake, and other friends who came in.

“Hey, Tommy. Want some?” I held up the rest of the steak and tried not to smile as he nearly gagged. As well as being a royal pain in the ass, Tommy was a vegetarian.

“No, thank you. Could you hurry it up a little and get out there? We’re busy.”

I caught Maggie’s eye and we both grinned, and I finished the rest of the food. Ducking out the side door, I surveyed the bar. It was packed. The usual crew of bikers and rednecks, locals and friends of Jake, and then a bunch of randoms who appeared slightly out of place, but looked to be enjoying themselves all the same. I made my way over to the bar and was about to slide under the gate when I felt strong arms wrap around me.

“Charlie Tyler!” I was picked up and swung my feet up just in time as Jake lifted me over the bar. Planting me on the other side, he looked at me from across the wooden divide and grinned. “Hey darlin’. Tommy said you were here. Said you were going through my grade-A beef at an astonishing rate.”

I laughed. “I was hungry. And he can kiss my ass.” Jake had no problem with his staff eating at work. It was part of the perks. No heavy drinking until we’d closed, but we were fine to eat as much as we liked. “Busy night,” I gestured around the bar. He smiled and looked around with pride.

“Gonna be like this all summer,” he warned me.

“Lookin’ forward to it.” I grinned and walked along the bar, to the main stereo. Chris, my partner in crime for the evening, nodded at me as I held up a cd, and I slid it in so it would play next. I saw a bunch of men in cowboy hats sidle up to the bar and I leaned over so I could hear them.

“Gentlemen! What’ll it be?” I grinned at the tallest one.

“Hello darlin’. I’d like some of your finest whiskey, and a couple of beers, if that’s alright.” He winked at me and tipped his hat.

Grabbing four beers out of the fridge closest to me, I held one up for his approval and he nodded. Budweiser always tasted like stale draft beer to me, but if these guys liked it, so be it. I lined up four shot glasses and poured the whiskey, flipping the bottle to Chris when I’d finished. I waved away the money the man held out. “First round is on the house for fine cowboys such as yourselves.” Along with their Stetsons and swaggers, the men were outfitted with expensive clothes and chunky diamond rings. I imagined they’d be laying down a lot of cash during the evening. May as well get things started on a good note. The tallest one chuckled and tipped back his whiskey, slamming the shot glass on the bar as he swallowed.

“Fantastic, darlin’. We’ll take four more, and this time you best be takin’ this money off my hands.” He grinned at me and turned back to chat to one of the others, as my cd came on.

“American girls…and American guys
We’ll always stand up and salute
We’ll always recognize”

I watched as the men in hats all turned around again and grinned at me, singing along. By the time the chorus hit, most of the bar had joined in. Toby Keith was a staple in music at Jake’s, and nothing got the party going better than a round of ‘Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue’. Particularly the line, ‘we’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way’.

Jake kept only two bartenders behind the bar on purpose. He told me he only liked having patient and appreciative people in his bar. Anybody who made a fuss about waiting for a drink, or yelled at a bartender for taking too long often found themselves out on their ass before they could blink. We always took care of the regulars first, and then got to everybody else as fast as we could. Chris was the master of drinks orders, often taking five or six at a time, lining them up and then making the patrons race each other drinking them while he sorted out the cash.

By nine p.m., four people had been tossed for hurling abuse at Chris and I, and people were lined up against the bar, three deep. I glanced at Chris and wiggled the bottle of Jack in my left hand. He grinned and nodded. I picked up the megaphone we kept behind the bar and turned it on.

“Alrighty folks, to save some time and clear the mass of bodies that seem to have accumulated, we’re gonna have a…” I checked the clock behind me “a 9:03 special. We will only be serving Jack Daniels, but it will be yours at the bargain price of one dollar a shot. Please be patient with us, and we’ll do our very best to get you shitfaced in as little time as possible. In the meantime, maestro, some music please?” I put the megaphone down and started pouring as the riff for ‘Whiskey in the Jar’ started up. I looked up and saw Jake laughing and giving us the thumbs up.

Shot after shot was guzzled down and we emptied six bottles in the time it took for the song to play through. The mass of people had thinned out substantially and Chris announced that the 9:03 special was over.

There was a steady stream of traffic until around eleven, and I was leaning back against the fridge, drinking water when I saw Pepper and James slip through the door, Gio following close behind. I couldn’t keep the smile from my lips as I watched them approach the bar.

The tall cowboy stepped in front of them and I saw Pepper laugh as James almost collided with him. “Darlin’, could we get four more shots? I could ask your buddy, but you pour them so nicely.” He flashed me a smile and I laughed, lining up another four shots. He threw a fifty on the bar, picked up my hand to kiss it, and took off with the shots. I handed the bill to Chris and leaned over the bar to receive a hello kiss from Pepper. Gio waved hello and then he and Pep moved further down the bar to chat to Jake.

“Evening,” I smiled at James.

“Evening. Flirting with the customers, I see?” he grinned back at me.

“Just that one. You know I can’t resist a cowboy.”

He chuckled. “I don’t care about saving horses, you are not riding him.”

“Um, excuse me, could I please get served? I’ve been waiting for like, an hour.” A perky little brunette swayed slightly in front of me, rapping her manicured claws on the bar.

I raised an eyebrow. “Sure honey, what would you like?”

“Rum and diet coke.”

Please? Anyone? No? Alrighty then. I poured a shot of rum and turned my back to her while I pressed the regular coke button on the soda gun. I turned back around handed it to her. She took a sip and wrinkled her nose. “Um, I don’t think this is diet.” Turning to James, she swayed and leaned against him. His hand went out to steady her and he backed away slightly. “Hey…I know you. You’re that guy. From that little metal band. My boyfriend loves you guys.” She narrowed her beady little eyes. “I thought you were the alcoholic one. But here you are in a bar…so, did it hurt?”

He glanced at me and I shrugged, looking for Gio. “Did what hurt?”

“When you fell off the wagon.” She shot him an evil smile.

Well. That was my cue. I motioned for James to move back again and blasted her with a spray of soda. “Here you go, honey, I found the diet coke.” Waving at Jake, I pointed at the sputtering, soaking wet drunkard in front of me. “She’s ready to leave, Jake. Be a dear and escort her out?”

Gio and Pepper reappeared, laughing. “Nicely done,” Gio applauded as Chris handed him a water and slid a beer across to Pepper.

I bowed slightly and smiled. Looking at the door, I saw Jake coming back in, followed by two enormous men, and the kid who Chief had seen driving past my house. I made eye contact with the kid and ducked under the bar. “Sorry, guys, be back in a bit.”

Jake took my spot behind the bar as I walked over and greeted the three men. “Lamar, good to see you. Heard you’ve been looking for me.”

He gave me a shy smile and shrugged. “You said if I ever had stuff that I thought might help Jamal, I should find you. Oh, this is Tiny,” he pointed at the linebacker-sized man on his left, “and this is Heavy,” gesturing to the one on his right. They nodded at me. “Um…you got somewhere we can talk?” He opened his jacket and I saw a small envelope tucked into one of the pockets.

I led the three of them back to the kitchen, which was no longer taking orders. “You hungry?” The kid looked like he hadn’t eaten in a week. He nodded and I found Maggie, asking her to put together something for the guys. She smiled and threw a few steaks on the grill. Tiny and Heavy insisted on watching the door while Lamar and I sat and chatted. Thirty minutes later, he looked happy and full, and I had what he’d come to give me. I walked them back out to the bar and hugged him goodbye.

“You gonna be okay? These two guys taking care of you?” I gestured at the men who were flanking us.

He nodded. “They got my back. You said I should keep a low profile for a bit, so I’m tryin’. But my brother said I shouldn’t go out places alone, so I take these guys with me. It’s cool.” He shrugged and started to walk away. Turning back, he shot me a grin. “Thanks for the steak,” he waved and they walked out.

Jake appeared behind me. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s all good. Sorry for disappearing on you like that. Just sorting out some business.”

“And giving away my steaks?” he grinned at me.

“Take it out of my pay,” I swatted his arm, ducking back under the bar.

“I don’t pay you!”

“Tell me about it! Couple of steaks shouldn’t matter then, hmm?” I winked at him and grabbed a bottle of water.

“Fine! But if I go bankrupt, I’m blaming you. Now get outta here,” he gestured at James, who was holding up a set of keys. I looked from Jake to James, and back again.

“Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah, you’ve been here long enough. Chris and I can close up, and Tommy’s around here somewhere. See you next week, okay?”

Fine by me. I hustled to the kitchen to grab my bag and met Pepper as I came out again. “You gonna take my truck?”

He grinned. “Yup. I’ll meet you back at the house later. Have fun.”

“Oh…okay. But what about Trish? Didn’t you need to talk about that? Pep?” He waved at me and took off with Gio beside him.

“Wanna go for a ride?” I nearly jumped out of my skin as James breathed against my ear. Turning around, I saw he was holding two helmets.

“Well, hello, easy rider. I’d love to. Which one of these is for me?” He handed me one as I led him out the back door, and we walked around front, where he’d parked his chopper. I lifted the helmet to put it on and he laid a hand on my arm.

“Just a minute…” Taking off his hoodie, he handed it to me and waited while I slipped it over my head before taking my face in his hands and kissing my cheek softly. “Hi.” He smiled down at me.

“Hi. I…um…this is a nice bike.”

He laughed and pulled me against him. “That’s not what you were gonna say.”

I smiled. “Nope. I was gonna say that I missed you, but I just saw you yesterday, so that’s silly.”

He sat on the bike and took my hands in his. “It’s not silly. And I was a dick to you yesterday, so yesterday doesn’t count.” He lifted the hoodie and my shirt slightly and winced as he saw the bruising. “God. Lars said this was nasty, but it’s worse than I imagined. You okay?”

I grinned at him. “Some guy from a little metal band’s gonna take me for a ride on his chopper. I’m great.”

He looked up at me and sighed. “The guy from the little metal band owes you an apology for yesterday.”

I straddled the bike behind him and leaned forward so he could hear me. “Just drive, Het. Apologies can wait, I wanna see how this baby handles.” I pulled the helmet over my head and wrapped my arms around him as he revved the bike.

He burned out of the parking lot and took off towards the hills. I squeezed my arms tighter around him and closed my eyes, feeling the cool night air rush against my bare legs. When I opened my eyes several minutes later, we were headed up a winding driveway, and it hit me that we were approaching Lars’ house. The engine died and James eased the bike onto its kickstand, holding out a hand for me.

“So the indiscretions really have moved to Danish’s place, then.” I grinned at James as I slid the helmet off.

“He’s out tonight. And since I can’t exactly take you to my place, and Pepper’s at yours…is this okay?”

I hugged him and looked up. “Yeah. This is good.”

He unlocked the door and led me inside. I took off the hoodie and hung it over the back of a chair as James opened the fridge and peered inside. Pulling out a bottle of water, he grabbed two glasses and tilted his head towards the stairs. I nodded and followed behind him.

Settling onto the loveseat in ‘my’ room, I watched as he wandered around the room, lighting candles. Reaching under the bed, he pulled out a wide, flat box. “From Lars. Well, from all of us, but he organized it.”

I opened it and smiled. Inside were three large, framed photos. The first was the one I’d requested of Lars and Cliff. The second was of the four of them, from the early 80s. Kirk looked about twelve years old. The third one I recognized from the Jump in the Studio video of the guys introducing Rob. Someone, probably Niclas, had captured the moment when the four of them had piled on each other. They looked so happy, ecstatic, actually.

“These are gorgeous, they’re exactly what I wanted. Thank you,” I put them back in the box carefully.

“I have another one for you. It’s not in a frame yet. It’s not even a real picture, yet, just a printout from the digital.” He reached into his back pocked and pulled out a folded piece of paper, and handed it to me. Unfolding it, I saw it was of us, taken at the cabin. Curled up in a blanket, my head was in James’ lap and I was sleeping. His hand was on my hair, and he was looking down at me, not at the camera. “I set the self-timer thingy. You looked so peaceful lying there. I thought that it was so cool how you were just happy to hang out, to just…I dunno, just be. Just exist. I didn’t have to entertain you, or organize stuff. Guess I wanted a reminder of us being there.”

I pulled him down to sit beside me. “But you did entertain me. We played games, I got drunk…got shot,” I grinned at him, “we had a picnic, a dance party, I was totally entertained. You’re a hell of a host, Hetfield.” I tucked the picture into the back pocket of my skirt.

He smiled and stood up, pressing the power button on the stereo. I burst out laughing as I heard the Dixie Chicks come through the speakers. Holding his hand out for me, he gestured for me to join him, so I got up and was immediately pulled against him. “Rumor has it you like these girls,” he murmured against my hair.

“I like just about anything that’s country. But yeah, this is one of my favorites.”

“Hmmm…maybe you should sing this to me sometime. I know you’re crap on drums but I’ve heard you’re alright with a banjo.” I looked up and saw he was grinning.

“Listen, cowboy, you already took me away, so there’s no need for me to sing the song. And I don’t play the banjo for anybody but my dogs.”

He laughed. “And they like that?”

“They hate it. Much howling and barking ensues whenever I play a song.”

He rocked me in his arms until the song finished, and then led me over to the loveseat, pushing me gently onto it before seating himself on the bed. “We need to talk.”

I nodded and waited for him to continue.

“I did a lot of thinking today, Charlie. I don’t think this is gonna work. I don’t think we should be together.”

I sat perfectly still. Hoping that if I didn’t breathe, or speak, he would add a ‘just kidding’, or a ‘no, wait, I take that back’. But he didn’t. I got up slowly and walked to the door of the room, pausing when I reached it to turn around. “Thanks…for, um, telling me to my face.” I tried to swallow and couldn’t get past the enormous lump in my throat. Turning again, I went down the stairs, hearing James calling after me. The screen door banged shut and I almost ran into Lars.

“Hey, kitten, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Sorry I’m home early, I’m taking off again in a second. Where’s Het?”

“Upstairs. Can I…could you drop me at my house? Or just in town so I can grab a taxi?”

“Yeah, go on out there, car’s waiting. Why isn’t James with you?”

“He…can’t. I dunno. Please don’t ask him. I’ll be outside,” I pushed the screen door open and stumbled through it. Lars was right behind me as I got in the backseat of the car.

“Charlie? You alright?” He instructed the driver on how to get to my house and I stared out the window.

“I’m fine.”

He put his hand over mine. “You don’t look fine. I thought you and James were gonna talk tonight. Least, that was his plan when I spoke to him.”

I felt tears sliding down my face and wiped them away quickly. “Yeah, we talked.”

“And?”

I turned to face him as more tears escaped. “And he doesn’t want me. So can we please stop talking about this? Please, Lars?”

He stared at me, and then nodded slowly. Unbuckling his seatbelt, he slid across the seat and put his arms around me, laying his head on my shoulder as the tears continued to fall. We stayed like that until we reached my house.

“Want me to come in with you?” He patted my hand.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks for the drive. I’ll talk to you tomorrow or something.” I kissed his cheek and ran up to the house.

Pepper was sitting in the lounge, almost in the dark. He looked up at me and narrowed his eyes. “You’ve been crying. Things didn’t go well with James?”

I shook my head. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”

He sighed and patted the couch. “C’mere.” I went to sit beside him, kicking my boots off first, and curled my legs under me. He was holding an envelope. “This was couriered to your office, it arrived today. Jackson brought by just after I got back here.”

He handed it to me and my breath caught in my throat as I noted the return address. It was from the lawyers who had represented me in Louisiana. Hands shaking, I saw that Pepper had already opened the envelope. “What does it say?” I couldn’t seem to manage more than a whisper. I looked over at him. “Please tell me it’s good news.”

He gave me a sad smile and shook his head. “Sorry baby girl. I wish I could.”

I unfolded the letter and managed to read two lines of it before I had to put it down again.

There was a knock at my door and Pepper got up to answer it. I heard James’ voice and Pepper asking him, nicely, to go away. More talking in low tones, and then I heard the door close, and Pepper came back alone.

“I got him to go away, sweetie, but he really wants to talk to you. He’ll be at the game tomorrow. You might wanna hear him out.”

I looked down at the letter again, and then back up to Pepper. “I’m going to bed.” I got halfway to the stairs and turned around. “Love you,” I said quietly. He smiled and walked over to me.

“Love you, too, baby girl. Everything will be okay. I promise.” Kissing my forehead, he escorted me up the stairs and into my bedroom, where he bid me goodnight.

I sat on the bed, feeling numb and empty. Pulling the digital print from my back pocket I traced a finger over it. I turned the lights off and yanked the covers over me, still clutching the print of the two of us.

I slept through until ten, when Pepper jumped on my bed and announced that today was going to be a good day, if he had anything to say about it. Jumping off my bed, he ran downstairs and I heard Hell’s Bells reverberating through the house, as he hollered up the stairs. “Breakfast in ten minutes, so you better get your cute little butt down here. Rugby players need their strength!”

I managed a little smile, and lifted the crumpled picture of me and James. I tossed it into the garbage as I walked to the shower. Five minutes later, I hopped out and threw on shorts and a t-shirt and found Pepper cooking enough food for ten people.

“Hungry, are you?” I asked over his shoulder.

He turned and grinned at me as the doorbell rang. I raised an eyebrow at him and went to answer it. Six of my teammates barreled through the door and jumped on me, and then Pepper, laughing and shouting. Helping themselves to plates and glasses as they had many times before, they dug into the piles of food he’d prepared. He made his way over to me and hugged me. “Thought you might like a distraction this morning. Sarah called at eight to see what time the game was, and I took the liberty of inviting them over.” He grinned at me and then paled. “What time IS the game? Cause if it’s soon, y’all are gonna have some serious problems running.”

I laughed. “The game isn’t until three. Plenty of time.” I hugged him again. “Thanks for doing this.”

“This ain’t even the best part,” he drawled. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a bunch of tickets. “Tonight’s show. Figured your girls might wanna come, and I already asked Trish. Interested?”

I squealed and kissed him. “Of course I am! Ooooh! I can’t wait, I haven’t seen you guys in concert in so long! Are you sure it’s okay if we all come?”

He nodded. “I want you there. And they seemed pretty excited when I suggested it.”

“Hell yeah!” Sarah yelled. “I love Motorhead,” she grinned. “And you guys, too, Pep.”

I giggled. “Whole new fan base.”

He grinned at me. “Rugby girls. Y’all are so hardcore. Eat some breakfast, doll, I gotta make a few calls and go see Lemmy in a bit.”

We finished off all the eggs and bacon and toast he’d prepared, and then raided the fridge for more. Taking a break from the binge-fest, we went outside and digested as we discussed plays and strategies, and the hot coach on the other team. The girls had all brought swimsuits, so once the requisite hour was up, a few of them took a dip in the pool. Sarah and I ran over more plays and then called everybody out of the pool for a quick run through before lunch.

Pepper entered the kitchen to find us finishing off an enormous pot of pasta. “You’re still eating? Good lord.”

“We saved you some, Keenan, it’s in the microwave if you want it.” Sarah piped up.

“Garlic bread?”

“In the oven.” She smiled at him.

He grabbed a piece and nuked the pasta for two minutes. “So…no Atkins ladies in the house, then?”

Seven pairs of eyes regarded him seriously for a moment, before we all burst out laughing. “Yeah, right. Give up carbs? Hi, not likely. What am I supposed to do, run a whole forty minutes on turkey bacon? Ugh.” Sally tossed a piece of bread at him.

He caught it and grinned. “Just checking.”

After the dishes were done, I phoned the rest of the girls to make sure we’d have enough to play and for substitutions, and spent the next couple of hours laying by the pool. At two, we took my truck and the two cars that Sarah and Sally had driven over, and headed to the pitch.

I rolled out a blanket in the truck bed once we’d arrived, and set up the water bottles, juice, and the portable stereo. We were playing on a field we used frequently, and the opposing team was known for playing dirty, but poorly, so we were confident that we’d win. Still, it helped to have some decent tunes while we warmed up.

I threw in the mixed cd that Claire, one of our flankers, had made, and Sweet Home Alabama blasted out of the stereo as we ran a few laps. Half an hour later, the other team arrived. Sarah and I went over to meet the other co-captains, and then we each retreated into opposite ends of the field to finish running drills.

The last fifteen minutes before a game were always spent the same way for us. Loud music and very little talking. I saw James’ truck pull up, and he, Lars and Pepper piled out. I nodded at them but kept my distance. Sarah changed the cd and ‘Angry Mix’ was put on instead. I’d never been a huge fan of Papa Roach, but ‘Last Resort’ never failed to get me pumped. Sally and I practiced a few running tackles and then Sarah and I took off for a quick jog around the upper half of the field as ‘Whiskey’ came on.

“You look nervous,” she said as we turned the first corner.

“Nothing to do with the game.”

“Anything to do with the insanely attractive blond guy who’s been staring at you since he pulled up in his truck five minutes ago?”

“Maybe.”

She slowed her pace to a walk. “You gonna be able to block him out for the duration?”

I grinned at her. “Watch me.” I took off at a run and she laughed and quickly caught up to me. Racing each other to where the rest of the team sat, we collapsed to the ground in giggles.

“Nice to see you girls are all business, as usual.” I looked up to see Nick peering down at me. He’d been our physio guy for six months, and we all adored him.

I sat up and gave him my best glare. “No talking, dude. We’re in the zone.”

He laughed and nodded. “Gotcha, babes. Mind if I take a look at your stomach while you’re zoning? I see a little bruising.”

I backed away and shook my head. “I’m fine. But if you could wrap Sally’s wrist, that’d be good. Don’t want her spraining it when she goes to straight-arm the ladies on the other team.” Sal had injured her wrist a few months before and it had been weak ever since.

I shrugged off my t-shirt and rummaged through my bag for my jersey, throwing it on quickly before Nick could see how bruised I still was. I checked my shin pads and tightened my cleats. I could hear Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’ kicking off and knew we only had a few minutes left. I glanced over and saw James had backed his truck around and the boys were sitting in the back. Jackson and Trish had shown up, as well as Benny, Jake and three partners from my firm. I looked at Jackson, pointed at the partners and then at him, drawing a finger across my throat. He just laughed.

Tossing the ball back and forth in my hands, I tried to ignore James and just focus on the game. That thought went straight out of my head as I saw Chief’s black Merc pull up beside James’ truck. I watched Pepper jump out of the truck bed and lean down to talk to Chief.

Suddenly everything that’d been off for the last few days fell into place. I dropped the ball and jogged over to the Mercedes. “You knew. You didn’t just find out last night, did you.” It wasn’t a question, more of an accusation. Pepper stood silently and didn’t meet my eyes. “Jesus Christ, Pep, you should have told me. And you,” I pointed at Chief, “you fucking work for me. And here you are keeping stuff like this from me? Telling me to work on my gun technique more without explaining why, when really it’s because my life could be in danger? AGAIN? Well, you can both kiss my ass.” I wheeled around on one cleat and jogged back to the girls.

“Ready?” Sarah practically growled at me. She always got somewhat animalistic before a game. This time I was right there with her.

“Hell yeah.” I gave her a fierce grin. “Ladies…” I gestured for the girls to get up and we formed a huddle. We ran through the chant we’d stolen from the All Blacks, New Zealand’s kickass team, and ended with a roar.

The first half flew by. The girls were in top form, and we scored four tries to the other team’s one. True to their reputation, the other team was playing dirty, with tons of high tackles and some nasty biting during the scrums. We remained calm, waited for the ref to call it, and then winked at them when they had to move back a bit or give us a penalty kick. A particularly violent tackle had me eating dirt just as the whistle blew for half-time. I heard Sarah laughing and rolled over as she held her hand out.

“Nice one, Tyler. Let’s go rinse your mouth guard and we can plot how we’re gonna get that beeyotch back.”

Jogging to the sidelines, I saw James watching me. Sally had turned up the music and “Die, Die, My Darling” was playing. I thought it would be in poor taste to sing along, so I turned away and sat on the grass. Sal handed me a water bottle and I rinsed my mouth, and mouth guard. “Your lip’s bleeding,” Sal noted.

“Hey…first injury of the day. Not bad,” I grinned back at her. “How’s your wrist?”

“Okay. Took a hit when I slammed into that fat chick,” she motioned towards the other team’s prop. The girl wasn’t really fat, just big. Really, really big. “You gonna score a few more tries? I figure we should beat them by at least fifty points, just so they know what’s what.”

I laughed. “Sounds like a plan.” I wiped the smile off my face as I saw Pep approaching. Sal got up quickly and left us to talk. Or just stare at each other. I finally spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You had enough going on. I wanted to protect you. I only found out that night we went out with Lemmy. I’m sorry, Charlie.” He reached out a hand towards me and then dropped it. “Look, I know you wanna be able to do your thing and finish the game, so just worry about that, we’ll talk later.” He started to leave, looking miserable.

I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. “Hey…” He turned. “I love you.”

He gave me a weak smile. “You sure about that?”

I smacked his arm. “I told you, this,” I waved my hand between us, “doesn’t change. You and me, this is forever. Nothing you do will ever change that. I wish you’d told me though.” I hugged him and gave him a little push. “Now go talk to Trish or something.” He nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets, walking off.

“More drama?” Sarah stood beside me, watching him go.

“Yup. Drama makes me run faster.”

She laughed. “Good, cause your ass was draggin’ all first half. Chick who mowed you down was just strolling by when she caught you!”

I grinned and squirted my water bottle at her. The ref blew the whistle and we reconvened. Apparently the other team had given themselves a little pep talk during half-time, because two minutes into the second half, they’d scored a try and flattened Claire. She limped off the field and sent her replacement on. Three minutes later, they’d scored another try, and Claire’s replacement was in tears on the sidelines with a sprained ankle. Rough girlies. Sarah called out the play as we formed the scrum, and our girls gave a collective grunt as we pushed forward when the ball was thrown in. I kicked at the other team’s prop as she leaned forward with her jaw looking like she’d unhinged it. “No biting, Crazy,” I growled at her. The ball made it out of our end of the scrum and we untangled ourselves. I hauled ass down the field in line with the rest of the girls, and caught the ball as Sarah went down. Running as fast as I could, I jumped over one girl and tucked the ball under my left arm. Shoving my right one out in front of me, I slammed into another girl with my hand and she went down. Dodging two more very large women, I weaved around another one and placed the ball over the try line. Just as I touched it down, I felt myself being lifted and then tossed. I landed in a heap with my left foot under me, unable to breathe. I tilted my head back and saw the ref proclaiming the try was good, and closed my eyes.

“Dude…you gonna get up? That was a lovely little run you just did, but there’s still a good thirty minutes left in the game.” I opened my eyes and saw Sarah grinning down at me.

“Lord, give me a second. I can barely inhale. Who got me?”

“Little Miss Mac Truck over there. Your foot okay? Looks kinda bent.” She held out her hand and I took it, groaning as I felt pain shoot through my ankle.

“It’ll be fine. Just landed weird. No thanks to that tankass.” I tossed the ball to Sal and called a timeout. Nick met me as I limped over.

“Want it wrapped?”

“Yes please. We got any of that hot pink tape left? I’m feeling kinda sassy,” I winked at him. He grinned and eased me down, then set to work wrapping my ankle. I leaned back on my elbows and tried not to yelp in pain. By the time he was finished, I couldn’t turn it. “Beautiful.”

“Try not to put all your weight on it if you can help it. I know you can’t really limp and run, but…try to, okay?”

I stood and bounced up and down a bit, it felt alright.

“Gonna live?” I turned and saw Lars and James watching me.

“Looks that way.” I rinsed my mouth and spat. “Having fun?”

“Cute girls slamming into each other…yeah, I like it.” Lars grinned and I giggled.

“Good stuff. I gotta go attempt a conversion. See you two later.” I jogged over to where Sal had set the ball. Backing up several paces and angling myself properly, I grinned at Sarah as I did my best Johnny Wilkinson impression of sticking my arms out and wiggling my butt. A year of watching English rugby in English pubs had allowed me to perfect it. I could see her trying not to laugh. I ran at full tilt and booted the ball through the uprights, high-fiving Sal as the ref threw his arms up.

The rest of the game seemed to go smoothly. No more tries for the other team, and nobody else got badly injured on our side. Mac Truck kept eyeing me, and I kept winking at her and shooting her evil little grins, just to dig at her, but she kept her distance. With three minutes to go, I saw James, Pep, Lars, Trish and Jackson all standing with Nick on the edge of the field, with the three partners from the firm standing behind them. The other team called a timeout, and I jogged with Sarah to get some water.

“Hey Charlie, Marcus says you can have his office if you manage another try before the game ends,” Jackson announced loudly. Hoots and whistles went up from my girls and I laughed.

“Is that so, Marcus?” His office was on the top floor, with its own enormous bathroom, shower included.

“Not quite. But you can have the one next to mine when you get back. Morrison’s gone. It’s all yours…if you score the try.” Hell, Morrison’s was almost as nice.

“Done. And just so we’re clear, I got…” I lifted my arm and pointed at everybody, “like ten witnesses to the fact that you said this. No backing out if I get it. I’ll sue.” He laughed.

The game started up again and we immediately took possession. Sarah was pulled down in a ruck and I got behind her and grabbed the ball. Ducking a tackle, I ran full tilt down the field, not daring to look behind me. I was two feet from the try line when I felt arms go around my legs. I was shoved into the dirt, headfirst, and reached my arm out ahead of me, blindly, putting the ball down where I thought the try line might be. The ref’s whistle went, and the cheering let me know I’d got the try. I still had what felt like three hundred pounds of chick on top of me though. I tried to wiggle out from under her, and she got up.

“Good game,” she grumbled.

I nodded and winced as pain lanced through my neck. She held her hand out to help me up and I waved her off, yanking out my mouth guard. “Think I’ll stay here for now,” I grunted. She laughed and took off.

Nick hovered over me, waving a water bottle and some pills. “You call that keeping your weight off it? And what the hell is going on with your stomach? And your leg? God, Charlie, you’re a mess. Why are you…hey, this isn’t from today.” He ran a finger over my leg where my shorts had ridden up. “What’d you do? Fall from a moving vehicle? Onto another moving vehicle? God…”

“Bone marrow transplant,” Lars piped up happily behind Nick. I saw Nick’s eyes widen and I mouthed “I’m going to kill you” to Lars, who kept grinning.

“You idiot,” Nick hissed at me. “You could have been seriously hurt. What are you playing at? You should have told me.”

I swallowed the pills and grinned up at him. “But I got the try,” I giggled. “And now I get the pretty office. Yay me,” I sighed and lay back on the ground.

Sarah appeared at Nick’s side. “You got smoked!” I reached for her extended hand and laughed.

“Tell me about it. We gotta get that girl to come over to our team, or we won’t survive the season.” Clenching my jaw as I stood, I realized that hurt too. I swirled some water around in my mouth and spit, pulling a face as a mouthful of blood came out with it. “Yuck. Do I still have all my teeth?” I bared them at Sarah, who looked at me carefully and nodded.

“Probably bit your tongue or something. And your lip’s bleeding.”

I spit again. “Okay, let’s go. When’s your gig start, Pep?”

He stared at me in disbelief. “Uh, no way, darlin’. You’re not coming. Not with your leg all beat up. It’s standing room only. You’d be in agony.”

I pouted, and wiped at my bloody lip. “I can take something for it. I’ll be fine. C’mon, I haven’t seen you play in soooooooooo long. Please?”

He shook his head, and I stamped my foot, cursing as pain shot through me. “See? That’s what I’m talking about. You can always come see us another time.” He pulled me into a gentle hug. “Please babes? Just stay at home and rest. I’ll come home right after the concert and we can talk.”

I backed away. “No, don’t do that. You promised Trish a date. Don’t bail just cause I hurt my foot. We’ll talk tomorrow. Problem won’t be any worse by then.” I looked up at him. “Oh God, will it?”

He laughed and hugged me again. “No. C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”

I waved to the girls and glanced behind me at James and Lars. “Okay, let’s go.”

Once he’d made sure I was suitably drugged, Pep took off in my truck, saying he’d call after they’d been on. I shoved him out the door and locked it behind him. Keeping my ankle taped, I stepped into the shower and sank to the tiled floor. When the hot water finally gave out, I got out and dried off, grabbing an old pair of pink Juicy sweatpants and a well-worn turquoise t-shirt, and threw them on, not bothering with underwear. Slapping on some moisturizer, I tied my hair up and hobbled downstairs to get all the stuff I’d need for an evening in.

Picking a Dan Brown book I hadn’t read off a shelf in the library, I dialed the nearest Chinese place and ordered a ton of food so I’d have extra if Pep and Trish made it home later. I picked up the rest of Mrs. D’s cookies, made a huge pot of tea and carried it unsteadily to the lounge. I looked at the fireplace, thought about lighting it, and then did so. I didn’t care that it was still in the seventies outside. Fires were cozy, and I was all about being cozy. Duke and Fire were curled up on the floor by the couch, neither of them looking up once as I arranged all my stuff. I spread out a bunch of magazines on the coffee table, put the book on top of them, popped Jaws in the dvd player, and poured a cup of tea as the doorbell rang.

**********************************************
cont'd in next post.

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Blackened
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“Food’s here,” I told the dogs, who were still snoring. I swung the door open and just about fell over when I saw James. “Unless you’re the new delivery guy from Lucky Dragon, I’m not sure I want you to come in.” He brought his hands out from behind his back and I saw he was holding two large bags of take-out. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “Okay, come in. How much do I owe you?”

He dropped the bags and placed a hand gently over my mouth. “How about you just listen for two minutes, and we’ll call it even for the food.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Two minutes. Go.”

“You didn’t let me finish talking last night. I talked to Lars yesterday. And I need to ask you a question. Please, please think hard before you answer, and be honest. Okay?” He looked so serious. I nodded. “The way you feel about me, do you think it’s because you really feel that way? Or is it because I’m the one who helped you get past your…demons?” I opened my mouth to protest and he held up a hand. “Just think about it for a minute, Charlie. Is it me you want? Or is it Lars?”

I looked at him for a long time. I opened my mouth to reply and he traced his thumb over my lip.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Yeah…I’m spitting blood too. And I’ve got about ten minutes of lucidity left before the drugs kick in. Man…James, you think I still like Lars? Like, really like him?”

He tilted his head to one side. “Why were you worried about what he’d think of us being at the cabin? Why were you so upset about all the stuff he said? Why’d you go to his house and wait three hours outside in the dark so that you could explain things to him?” He ran his fingertip down my nose and took my chin in his hand. “Do you know you get a certain look on your face whenever you see him? Little half-smile, and a faraway look in your eyes, and if he looks at you, you blush.”

I shoved him away and grabbed the food, walking to the kitchen. “You’re being ridiculous. I spent three days in a cabin having heaps of sex with you, why would you think I want him? I’ve never heard anything so outlandish in all my life. Honestly, James, if you’re just looking for an out with me, what you said last night is fine. You don’t have to make up things like…what are you staring at?”

“You’re blushing.” He folded his arms and grinned at me. “I’m right, aren’t I?” He moved past me to take the food out of its containers.

I shook my head. “I’m not blushing, I’m red in the face cause I’m angry. You can’t be right. If you’re right then that means I was just using you. If you’re right that means that I hurt Lars, and Fran, for no reason other than to get some.”

“She’s actually not that upset about it.” He handed me a plate and I almost dropped it.

“You…you told her? You told your wife that you’ve been sleeping with another woman, and she’s NOT THAT UPSET?” I put the plate down and stared at him. “You’re crazy. Absolutely certifiable. And so is she, if she’s ‘not upset’. Christ, Hetfield, that’s seriously fucked up.”

He stepped towards me and put a hand on my shoulder. “I spent all day yesterday in a room with Lars and Fran and Phil. It wasn’t…fun. But it was good. We kinda got everything talked out. I almost called you to ask if you could come in but then I thought that might be kind of uncomfortable for you.”

My jaw dropped. “Yeah, uh, KINDA! ‘Oh, hi, Fran, sorry for sleeping with your husband.’ Awkward much?”

He gave me a pained smile. “She’s not thrilled about it, Charlie, but we’ve been through a lot together. She’s more forgiving than you might think.”

I glared at him. “She’d have to be, she’s married to you.” I clapped a hand over my mouth. “Shit, James, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just…I’m a little surprised. Did you tell them everything? I mean, all the stuff about me? I know Lars knew but Phil and Fran?”

He looked down and nodded. “I know it’s your story to tell, Charlie, but I felt like I had to, to make them understand.” Looking up again he took my hand in his own. “I’m sorry if you feel like I betrayed you. Or used you.”

I squeezed his hand. “You’re not getting a divorce, are you.” He shook his head slowly and I felt my stomach drop. “Okay. Look, James, I’m thoroughly confused and the painkillers are only making my head feel cloudier. If you wanna stay and hang out, that’s fine, otherwise…I’ll see ya.” I turned around and he came to stand behind me, resting his head on top of mine.

“I’m sorry, Charlie. I don’t want you to think that I was using you, or that what happened between us wasn’t special, because it was.” His arms tightened around me. “More than you know. But I can’t turn my back on the kids…or Fran. I’m sorry, baby. I know this is confusing right now, but if you give it time, and wait til the drugs wear off, I bet it’ll make sense. Even the Lars thing. I’ve only known you a week, but I swear I know you well enough to know I’m right. Just promise me you’ll think about it, okay?”

I nodded under his chin. “You wanna stay for dinner? Or,” I twisted my head to look up at him, “do you need to get home? I didn’t mean to presume that you could stay.”

He shook his head and grinned at me “Nah, it’s cool. Curfew’s not til midnight, I can stay.”

I turned around and rinsed my mouth under the tap and watched the blood swirl down the drain. “Stop bleeding,” I ordered my mouth.

James hooked a finger under my chin and turned my face to him. “Bite your tongue?”

I nodded. “Suck on some ice. I’ll get it.” He pulled out an ice tray and whacked it on the counter, cursing softly as ice went everywhere. I giggled and grabbed an ice cube, tossing it in my mouth.

“Smooth, Hetfield,” I mumbled through my bleeding tongue and the ice.

He grabbed another cube and slid it over my lip. “Less talking, more sucking,” he snarled. I nearly spit out the ice as I burst out laughing. “God, Charlie, must you always take the gutter translation of what I say?” I glanced sideways at him and he started laughing too. “Go…get comfy. I’ll bring the food in, and some more ice.”

I kept giggling and limped into the lounge, taking up half the couch with my leg stretched out. James brought in two huge plates of food, went back to the kitchen and returned with a glass of ice, a bottle of water, and a navy blue towel from my bathroom. “For spitting, if you need to.”

I hit the play button for Jaws, and took a bite of sesame prawn toast, trying to find a way of chewing that didn’t exacerbate the pain in my mouth. I caught James looking at me and shot him a grin. “Mmmm…tastes like pennies.” He laughed and scooted over beside me.

“Open up.” I complied and he dabbed at my tongue with the towel. “Give it a few minutes, babe. It’ll stop.”

“’kay. But if you eat all the toast, I’m gonna kick your ass.” I saw him looking at my taped ankle. “With my right foot,” I clarified.

He smiled and leaned back against the couch, lifting my legs into his lap. We watched the opening sequence and I gingerly took another bite of toast. To my delight, it didn’t taste like blood. I happily finished off the rest of the plate, except for one spring roll, which Duke devoured when I accidentally knocked it to the floor.

I put my plate on the coffee table and picked up the issue of Marie Claire, flipping through it. I heard James chuckle and I looked up. “What?”

“How can you watch the movie and read a magazine at the same time?”

I smiled. “Okay, first of all, I’m a girl. We are amazing at multitasking. I could watch the movie, read a magazine, bake some cookies, make a pie, build a paper mache model of HQ and write a critique of Paradise Lost all at once if I had to. But right now I’m only doing this to distract myself from the scary bits. And besides,” I waved the magazine at him, “this is good stuff. Lots of important information in these articles.”

He reached over and took the magazine from me. “You’re confused enough. No multitasking. Just relax and watch the movie.”

I shrugged. “Okay, Mr. I’m-in-Charge. but now I won’t know if pink is the new black or where to buy the best moisturizer or what to wear on a first date.”

“I’m sure you’ll manage.”

“You’re just jealous cause you’re a guy and you can only do one thing at a-SHARK!” I jumped and slapped my hand over my eyes.

James was silent for a minute. Then he spoke, his voice soft and very low. “Charlie…I’m in my forties. My heart isn’t what it used to be. I don’t think it can take another outburst like that, so please don’t scream ‘shark’ again, darlin’, if you can help it.”

I giggled. “Sorry. Just…scary!” I whispered. I reached for the remote and muted the sound.

“What? You didn’t have to do that. Just maybe no more jumpy yelling.” He moved to take the remote from me and I shook my head.

“Noooo….much less scary with no sound. And I can make all the sound effects for you!” I started in on the scary music theme. “Dun-dun dun-dun dun-dun dun-dun …AAAAHHH.”

“Drugs kickin’ in?”

“Little bit.”

He laughed and took the remote, turning the sound back up. I tried to subtly grab another magazine from the pile with my foot. Hooking it between my toes, I lifted it over and then had it grabbed from me by James.

“The Economist?”

“Gimme. I like it. It’s well-written and I always feel smarter after reading it. And I must have killed a hell of a lot of brain cells today getting tackled, so I need to work on the smartness thing.”

He pulled on the end of the coffee table to bring it towards him and read out the titles of the other magazines. “New Yorker, Italian Vogue, Times Literary Review, …wow.”

I sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Big nerd.”

He patted my leg gently. “Not a big nerd. Smart girl who reads a lot. That’s you.” He smiled at me. “I think it’s cool.”

I nodded and settled back against the couch cushions. He placed the magazines down and I saw his hand reach for the letter from my lawyers. I jerked an arm out to grab it but he got to it first. “What’s this?” he asked quietly. I watched as he read it, his eyes getting darker, and his expression changing from relaxed, to raging. “Christ, Charlie, tell me they’re wrong,” he looked up at me and it wasn’t anger I saw in his eyes, but fear. I shook my head. “But…it hasn’t even been two years. And the trial must have taken months, so…what, all five men who raped you are out on parole after a little over a year? That’s insane!” He was almost yelling.

I took the letter from him and placed it back on the shelf of the coffee table. “Lower your voice, please. It sounds like you’re mad at me.” I pushed his arm away when he started to hug me. “They only got a five year sentence each, James. Rape with a weapon constitutes a fifteen year sentence, but they had slick lawyers, and the judge ruled that the sports equipment couldn’t be called weapons.” I felt tears threatening and slid back on the couch, closing my eyes. “It happens, James. The legal system is sometimes pretty shit.”

I felt his hand rubbing over my uninjured ankle. “I’m so sorry, Charlie. Is there anything I can do?”

I smiled, eyes still closed. “I don’t think you can fix this.” I opened my eyes and looked at him. “But coming over here tonight and hanging out with me, that’s helped. I didn’t really wanna be alone.”

This time I didn’t push him away when he bundled me into a hug. “You never have to be alone if you don’t wanna be, Charlie. You can always come to me, or Lars, or any of the guys. God, Pepper must have had a fit about this.”

I sighed. “Fucker found out before I did, didn’t tell me.”

He stroked a hand over my hair. “You know he was only trying to protect you. He’d never keep anything from you unless he thought it was in your best interest to do so, sweetie.”

I nodded and tried to moved away slightly, and found myself pinned to his chest. Settling against him, I pointed to the screen. “We’re missing the good parts,” I told him, and he chuckled.

He was quiet for the rest of the movie, and when the credits started rolling, I looked up and saw he’d fallen asleep. “Yeah…and I’m the one who needs to get tested for narcolepsy. Right.” I laid a blanket over him and took our plates to the kitchen, trying to make as little noise as possible. Limping into the library, I closed the door and picked up my bow. No Oasis, no Metallica, I was in the mood for something slower and a little more personal.

I tried to play quietly, and sang lower than I usually would, but I wasn’t really surprised when I finished and saw James standing in the doorway.

“What was that? Sounded like a pretty sad song.” He rubbed his eyes and came to sit next to me.

“Taladh Criosda. It’s sort of a lullaby my mom used to sing me. It’s not sad. Just quiet.”

“I didn’t recognize the language.”

“Gaelic.” I watched as he ran a hand over the smooth wooden side of the cello. “Try it.” I leaned it towards him and he took it, planting it between his legs. He held up the bow and waved it around, grinning.

“Now what?”

I shifted behind him and sat on the back of the couch. I placed his fingers on the strings, and then held my hand over his on the bow, drawing it back and forth slowly. He got the hang of the left hand immediately, picking out the simple melody I’d been playing as I helped him with the bow.

He tilted his head back and looked up at me. “Sing it again?”

I laughed. “You sure? You might go to work Monday and have to explain how you blew out your eardrum listening to me sing.”

He looked suddenly serious. “Don’t say that. You have a sweet voice. This is the second time I’ve heard you sing and you weren’t off either time.”

I smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair. “Easy there, Papa Het. It’s just a little intimidating. You’re the lead singer for one of the most famous bands on the planet. Makes me slightly nervous to sing for you.” I nudged him with my leg so he turned around again, and sang softly as I guided his hands.

When the song was finished, I put the bow on the couch and looped my arms around his neck, resting my chin on his head. “Thanks for coming by tonight, James.”

He turned around and smiled at me. “You sound like you’re about to kick me out.”

I returned the smile and shook my head. “No, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want. But the painkillers are wearing off and my entire body is aching, so I think I might go soak in the tub for a bit. James, does Fran know where you are?”

He took my hand in his. “Yeah. I told her you got injured today, I wanted to make sure you were doing alright, and also that I wanted to talk to you. Tell you what I didn’t get a chance to tell you last night.” He stood and pulled me into a hug. “Remember what you told me about one night of awesome sex as opposed to a lifetime of awesome friendship?”

I nodded against his chest. “Yeah. But you already got a whole lot of awesome sex. I don’t normally let guys have both.” I lifted my head and saw he was smiling at me. “Oh, fine then. But you better mean it, Hetfield. Cause if you’re gonna let this get awkward, or back away and eventually stop calling or dropping by, then tell me now, and I won’t bother.”

He held me at arms length and tilted his head. “I would never do that. You mean too much to me. It won’t be like it was at the cabin, Charlie, but I swear, it’ll be even better this way. I’m a horrible boyfriend, you would have hated me within weeks.”

I looked down at my feet. “I doubt that, Het. I don’t think I could ever hate you,” I said quietly.

He took my hand and we were both still for a moment. “Play me one more song before I go?” His voice was low and soft. “Doesn’t have to be on the cello.”

I attempted to smile at him. “What, you want me to dazzle you with my incredible guitar skills or something?”

He went over to the stand and picked up the two guitars, handing one to me. “Play whatever you like, I’ll figure it out.” Settling into one of the wingback chairs, he rested the guitar on his lap, poised to play.

I swallowed hard. I knew what I wanted to play, I just wasn’t sure if he’d catch on. Or if I wanted him to. Fuck it. It’s just a song, I told myself. Just play it.

Sitting back on the couch, I strummed the opening chords and he immediately joined in. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, and hoped my voice wouldn’t break as I sang.

I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Well, baby I’ve been here before
I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

There was a time when you let me know
What’s really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath you drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

I closed my eyes, fingers automatically finding the strings as we played through the bridge. I paused at the end of it and opened my eyes in shock as James began singing the last verse. He watched me as he sang, and I wondered if he could see from across the room, the tears that had gathered in my eyes.

And maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
Well it’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

He finally fell silent and I put my guitar down. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Getting up too quickly, I jarred my ankle as I stood. “Fuck.” I saw him get up and motioned him to stay where he was. “It’s fine, James, relax.” Realizing I sounded angry, I tried to soften my tone. “Painkillers are wearing off. I’m gonna go take another one and then I’ll see you out, okay?” I hated how unsteady my voice sounded.

Slipping into the bathroom in the hall, I wiped my face and made sure my eyes weren’t too red. James was standing outside the bathroom when I came out.

“Y’alright?” he lifted my face and narrowed his eyes. “Cause you don’t look it.”

I nodded. “I’m fine. Just a little out of it from the drugs, and my ankle’s killing me.”

He bent forward and scooped me up, then proceeded to carry me all the way into my en suite. Placing me on the counter by the sink, he stepped back, looking very pleased with himself.

“Thanks, Papa Het. You gonna take off now?”

He nodded, and then bent down swiftly, pressing his lips against mine in a sweet, soft kiss, his calloused fingers brushing lightly over my cheek. My heart did its signature flipflop and I leaned against him. “Unless you want me to stay a little longer?” he said quietly, eyes trained on mine as he pulled away slightly.

I opened my mouth to speak and couldn’t seem to form any words. I slid one arm around his waist and he kissed me again, longer this time, as his hands roamed up under the back of my shirt. I moaned softly into the kiss and then pushed against his chest.

“James…” I whispered. “No, we can’t. I…you can’t. You have to think about Fran, and your kids, and…” I sighed. “If you don’t go now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to let you go later.” I wasn’t sure if I was talking about him leaving my house or leaving me in general, but it didn’t matter. He had to go either way.

He rested his forehead against mine. “Okay,” he said gruffly. “If you want me to go, I’ll go.”

What? WANT him to go? “James, Christ, it’s not that I want you to go-”

“Sure sounds like you do.”

I slid off the counter and started running hot water in the tub. Strong hands gripped my waist and James turned me to face him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound angry. I’ll go. Soak your ankle, and call if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” I said softly. “Um…drive safely.”

He chuckled and drew me to him in a hug. “Night, Charlie,” he murmured.

I held on tight, suddenly not wanting to let go. Squeezing my arms around him a final time, I backed away. “Night, Het.”

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maisy blue
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Some Kind Of Monster
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“I did a lot of thinking today, Charlie. I don’t think this is gonna work. I don’t think we should be together.”


Oooof.

I literally made that noise when I read that, like a big kick in the stomach. Jesus, James.

Quote:
 
“I got him to go away, sweetie, but he really wants to talk to you. He’ll be at the game tomorrow. You might wanna hear him out.”


Fuck that shit!! Sorry, but I hate when guys pull that. There could be the best reason in the world, but it still never makes a broken heart easier. James needs to back off. (Sorry, commenting as I read again...)

Holy crap. I can't believe Charlie played Rugby after a Marrow Transplant! You described the game so well. You describe EVERYTHING so well. Are you sure you're not living this experience? You know so much about Metallica, basketball, legal things, rugby, guns, hunting, security, metal bands... I'm in awe of this story.

Quote:
 
“You…you told her? You told your wife that you’ve been sleeping with another woman, and she’s NOT THAT UPSET?” I put the plate down and stared at him. “You’re crazy. Absolutely certifiable. And so is she, if she’s ‘not upset’. Christ, Hetfield, that’s seriously fucked up.”


Fran needs to grow some serious balls.

Quote:
 
“But…it hasn’t even been two years. And the trial must have taken months, so…what, all five men who raped you are out on parole after a little over a year? That’s insane!” He was almost yelling.


This? Sent a chill down my spine.

Quote:
 
He nodded, and then bent down swiftly, pressing his lips against mine in a sweet, soft kiss, his calloused fingers brushing lightly over my cheek. My heart did its signature flipflop and I leaned against him. “Unless you want me to stay a little longer?” he said quietly, eyes trained on mine as he pulled away slightly.


Jesus, James. Don't mess with her anymore, m'kay?

This was heartbreaking. Too real. Suddenly, I'm not envying Charlie so much anymore, poor girl :(

I hope this doesn't go where I have a feeling it might go, for her sake. It would be way dramatic and deeply romantic, but can't Charlie just get a happy ending easily?

Keep posting, it's all very brilliant. Hard to believe it's not real.
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