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| To Live is to Die | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: March 5, 2008, 12:49 am (59,970 Views) | |
| Lucifer's Angel | April 13, 2008, 5:21 pm Post #121 |
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Damn, James and Lars are evil Poor Charlie
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| Mina | April 13, 2008, 6:16 pm Post #122 |
Morgenstern
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Yay, update! But oh no, so complicated..poor Charlie Can't wait for more!
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| maisy blue | April 13, 2008, 10:07 pm Post #123 |
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Some Kind Of Monster
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Oh, fuck... *breathes deeply* |
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| PurpleRose | April 14, 2008, 4:44 am Post #124 |
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Frantic
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Glad you are feeling better ![]() Great updates, especially the museum part....but ![]() Can't wait to read more! |
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| elena | April 14, 2008, 1:39 pm Post #125 |
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Outlaw Torn
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I think that what James said is right.Charlie is a slut.If she realy love James she didn't slept with Sully.James keft his wife for her,for** God
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| neonguitarstrings | April 16, 2008, 2:49 am Post #126 |
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Bad Seed
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Woahhh calm down Papa Het!!!! Amazing story so far,cant wait for the next chapter. It wasnt a surprise that Papa Het would be furious with Charlie,but Lars being there too to add to the mix. Ohhh boy,she gots her hands full. |
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| Metalicious | April 20, 2008, 2:33 pm Post #127 |
Blackened
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“Charlie…wake up, girl.” Sully was gently rocking my shoulder back and forth. I opened my eyes and saw that it was morning. “Hi. You stay out here all night?” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak without crying. “Why?” “Didn’t mean to,” I said quietly. “I thought maybe…you’d come back. I tried to wait up for you.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?” “Almost noon.” He looked over at my bags. “Going somewhere?” That was enough to start the tears flowing again. I wiped at them quickly. “I have to leave. I have to go home. After last night…God, Sully, I’m so sorry for involving you in all this. I just wanted to escape everything and not have to think, and now,” I trailed off, shrugging. “I shouldn’t impose on you anymore.” He looked at me for a minute, and then drew me into a hug. “You’re not imposing, sweetie,” he murmured. “But I understand if you want to leave. Last night was pretty intense.” Brushing a hand over my hair, he sighed. “Seems like you might have to do some thinking after all.” I nodded against his shoulder, biting my lip to keep from sobbing. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about James. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Sul,” I sniffled. “It’s fine. I kinda figured you hadn’t totally sorted out your feelings for him.” He pulled back a little and sighed, stroking his finger over my cheek. “You called out his name when we were at Laurie’s, babe. I know you didn’t notice, and I didn’t wanna say anything then.” I slumped against the couch. “Fuck. Sully…I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know.” He shushed me. “I know. And don’t get me wrong. These last few weeks with you have been amazing. I’m glad you came to stay for a while. But you need to go home. Think about all this. Think about what you want.” He patted my hand. “Did you book a flight already?” I nodded. “One last dance before you go?” I watched as he went over to the stereo, and smiled through my tears as Dire Straits flowed through the speakers. He held out his hand, and I took it, letting him pull me against him. “I do love you, Sul,” I whispered. “Never doubted it for a second, babes.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “But I think you and me…in this lifetime, anyway, we’re just meant to be friends.” He held me tight, rubbing my back as I sobbed against him, and swayed back and forth with me, singing along quietly to the music. “…I love you like the stars above, I’ll love you til I die. And there’s a place for us…you know the movie song. When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong…Juliet.” The song ended, and he kept holding me, stroking my hair as I cried. I finally managed to stop, and pulled back from him. “Thanks for everything,” I said softly. “You’ve been so kind to me. If I can ever return the favor…” “Don’t forget about me,” he smiled. “Laurie throws the best Halloween parties ever. You’ll be invited, so you better show up. Or I’ll put a hex on ya.” He leaned forward and kissed me, his lips soft and warm against mine. Cupping my face in his hands, he pressed another kiss just above the bridge of my nose. “Blessed be, doll. Call me in a few weeks, let me know how you’re doing.” I nodded and lifted my bags. I could call a cab from downstairs. “Bye, Sul.” I kissed his cheek and left. I had booked an economy seat on a 4pm flight, and stumbled through my front door just after 5pm, San Fran time. There was a ton of mail to sort through, and a long note from Chief, explaining everything, and my phone’s voicemail was full. I played through the messages, and found they were all from Pepper. I was about to call him back when the phone rang. “Hello?” “Baby girl! Where you been? I’ve been calling your cell phone for the last five hours!” “I was on a plane. I just got all your messages at home. What’s up?” I sank into the couch in the lounge and closed my eyes. I was dying to talk to him about what had happened in Boston, but he sounded like he needed to talk first. “Okay, I know you just got home, but how would you feel about getting on a plane and coming to my place?” I sighed. “Um…I…I can, if you need me to. It’s just…” “I asked Trish to marry me! And the crazy girl said yes!” he laughed and I could hear Trish yelling in the background that she wanted to talk to me next. “Can you believe it? Anyway, we’re havin’ an engagement party in two days, and it won’t be the same without you. So get your cute little butt down here. We’re both going through withdrawal anyway from not seeing you for so long. There’s a flight leaving tonight, and one tomorrow morning. Be on one of them! I gotta go, but I’ll call you later to find out when you’re coming, okay?” I was stunned. “Ohh…okay.” His voice got slightly more serious. “Everything alright with you, baby?” “Fine, yeah. I’m just…I’m so happy for you guys! I can’t wait to see you. I’m gonna call and book a flight right now. I’ll talk to you later on. Love you.” I had to get off the phone before I started bawling. “We love you too, baby girl. Bye!” He hung up, and I put the phone down. I took my bags upstairs, and stretched out on my bed. Sully and I were through. James and Lars hated me. And Pepper was marrying Trish. How had I gone from having four men after me, to having nobody? “So…maybe this is a sign,” I said to myself, out loud. “People I love either die, or I piss them off so much that they have no choice but to cut me out of their lives. That’s fine. I can be alone. Alone is good. Alone means I can’t hurt anybody else. Which is good.” Tears rolled down my cheeks, wetting my pillow. “I like alone,” I said softly. “I know how to do alone. I don’t know how to be a good daughter, or a good granddaughter, or a girlfriend, or even a good friend. But I’ve got alone allllllll wrapped up. Yeah. Stick with what you’re good at. I can do that.” I pulled the duvet over me, and closed my eyes. I could book a flight later. For now, I just wanted to shut everything out, and get used to being alone again. ********************************************** I slept right through the night, and woke up cursing myself for falling asleep in my clothes. Showering quickly, I got dressed and ran next door to Mrs. D. She happily agreed to keep watching the dogs for me, saying they were excellent company. Her husband had never wanted to have dogs, but he was head over heels for Fire and Duke, so they were enjoying having the dogs around. I booked an afternoon flight to Louisiana, and called Pep, leaving a message telling him when I’d be arriving. I dumped all the clothes I’d taken to Boston in the laundry, and repacked my bag. I had no idea how long Pep expected me to stay, but I figured a few days worth of clothes would cover it. I jumped in a cab, and called Chief on the way to the airport. “Afternoon, Charlie. I gather you’re pretty much caught up on recent events?” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Yeah. Thanks for your note. And thank you. For everything. I’m sure SFPD would have caught them eventually, but I have a feeling you guys helped speed things along. And tell Marco and Eddie thanks, too; I appreciated having them at the house.” “Will do. I’m glad you’re back. And I’m glad those bastards are back in prison. They’re Louisiana’s problem now. So…what’s next on the agenda? Gonna stay put for a while? Get used to being in one place without armed guards living with you?” he chuckled. “Um…they’re in Louisiana?” I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Yeah. Back where they came from? Why? Charlie…” he rustled a paper and I heard him sigh. “Marco’s just brought me a fax of your itinerary for the next few days. Flying down to see Pep, hmm? In Louisiana?” he yelled. “Christ, woman! I know they’re in prison but for heaven’s sake. It looks like you’re going looking for trouble!” I sighed, knowing he was right. “I know how it looks. But he just got engaged, I can’t NOT go. I won’t be gone long, and I won’t even be anywhere near the prison. It’ll be fine.” We hung up as the cab pulled up to the airport, and I checked the one bag I’d brought. Trying to read the book I’d tossed in my carry-on for the journey, I found my mind kept wandering to the things James had said to me. And even as the plane took off, with the engines whirring, and the ground zooming by underneath us, all I could think about was his comment about Cliff. “Get it together, Charlie,” I muttered. I couldn’t be falling apart all the time around Pep and Trish. Once the plane had leveled off, I went into the tiny bathroom and took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. “Three days. Just don’t freak out for three days. You can do that, right?” I asked my reflection, and watched myself nod. “Okay, also? You might wanna get some sleep on the flight. You look like shit. And stop talking to yourself, you dork.” I went back to my seat, put my iPod on the Classical playlist, and closed my eyes. I woke up as the captain announced our arrival, and quickly put on some makeup, trying to get rid of the zombie look my face had taken on in the last twenty-four hours. I wasn’t sure if Pep was meeting me or not, and I grabbed my bag from the carousel, looking around for him. “Hey, pretty girl.” I turned and grinned at Woody, putting down my bag as he hugged me, lifting me off the ground. “Sorry the welcoming party’s not bigger, but Pep and Trish are busy runnin’ around like chickens with their heads cut off. Sent me to come get ya. Hope that’s alright,” he winked at me. “There’s nobody I’d rather see right now,” I said honestly. He took my bag for me and led me out to a black pick-up. The weather was warm and sultry, and I was glad I’d thought to wear light clothes. My white linen trousers and blue tee shirt suited the heat. We both put sunglasses on, and I laughed as he popped Motorhead in the cd player. “Can’t get enough, can ya. Even when you can listen every night on stage.” He grinned and headed out of the parking lot. “They rock, man. So c’mon, I haven’t seen you in months. How you doin’?” And with one question, my little pep talk to myself was out the window. Woody pulled over and slid across the bench seat to put his arm around me as I sobbed. “Hey…hey, Charlie, it’s okay, buddy. Aww, darlin’, shh. Don’t cry.” He rubbed my arm with one hand and patted my leg with the other. Tilting my head up to look at him, he raised an eyebrow at me. “Wanna get a drink and talk about it?” I thought for a second. “Yes, please.” He chuckled and started the truck again, and half an hour later, we were settled into Bettie’s, a diner that served the thickest milkshakes in the state. I stirred the enormous chocolate concoction in front of me, and smiled at Woody. “Kinda thought you meant another kind of drink. Not that this isn’t awesome…” He nodded. “Figured alcohol might make it worse. Least this way you’ll be on a sugar high by the time we get you back to Pep’s. Alrighty.” He clasped his hands together. “Gimme the scoop.” I gave him the short version, but tried not to leave anything out. By the time I was finished, he was looking at me sadly, shaking his head. “Please, please don’t tell Pep, Woods. I’ll tell him eventually, but he really needs to just be thinking about him and Trish right now. This can wait.” He laid a hand over mine across the table. “You know he’ll know, anyway. I wouldn’t have to tell him. You don’t want him to know? You’re gonna have to work on breaking that weird connection the two of you have. Even if it’s just while you’re here. He’s distracted, Charlie, but he gets one look at you with your guard down? He’ll be on you in a second, dragging it out of you.” He squeezed my hand as I finished my milkshake. “You know Hetfield’s here, right? He’s gonna be the best man, and Pep didn’t want him to miss the engagement shindig.” I bit my straw. “Um…I hadn’t thought about that. But yeah, makes sense. That’s fine,” I lied. He smirked at me, calling my bluff. “I’ll be there, Mike’s there, and I think Phil’s kickin’ around somewhere. You need a break from the drama, you come see one of us.” He checked his watch. “Okay, I gotta get you back or Pep’ll start worrying. And if you still need that drink,” he grinned, “we have a LOT of booze for the party.” We got back in the truck and cranked Motorhead for the rest of the journey. I was barely out of the passenger’s seat when Trish came flying out of the house, screaming and giggling and squeezing the life out of me. “Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re here! I’m ENGAGED!” she squealed at me, holding out her hand. “Jesus Christ…I shoulda brought my skates. Look at the size of that thing!” I grinned and hugged her again. I’d seen her happy and giggly and excited before, but it was nothing compared to this. She hugged Woody and turned back to me. “I’m gonna go take your stuff in. Pep and James are down by the water. Go say hi! And then come see me.” She hugged me again, fiercely. “I’m SO glad you’re here!” She and Woody headed up the steps to the house and I glanced down to the river. Suddenly I felt overdressed, unprepared, and scared. I ran after Trish into the house. “You can wait here for them to get back, hon.” Woody said quietly as I came into the kitchen. “No, s’fine. Just gonna change quickly,” I smiled. I unpacked quickly, trying to listen while Trish told me about her ideas for dresses, flowers, wedding songs and locations, and pulled on my favorite faded jeans, and a sleeveless WCC shirt. I fastened my wrist cuff and pulled my hair out of its clip. Much better. “Gimme twenty minutes?” I asked Trish. She smiled. “You haven’t seen him in about a month. I’ll be surprised if he’s done hugging you in twenty minutes.” I went back downstairs and Woody chuckled. “Costume change, hmm? Ready for battle?” “Just a little more comfortable. See you in a bit.” I stepped into my flipflops and headed down to the water. I could hear James and Pep talking quietly, with Pep chuckling every now and then. I stopped when I was about ten feet away from them, and just watched. They were sitting on the wooden pier Pep had built the year before, legs dangling off the side. I knocked on the railing, alerting them to my presence. James saw me first, giving me the same look he had the night at the museum. I ignored him, and looked at Pep. “Hey, baby girl,” he said softly, smiling as he got up. “Hey, yourself. Congratulations.” I started to say more but he had wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the grass. I linked my arms around his neck, and my legs around his waist as he spun me around. His long hair was loose, and I breathed in the familiar scent of him, squeezing my arms around him tighter. “So glad you’re here,” he murmured. “Wouldn’t be the same without you.” He set me down on the railing, keeping his arms around my waist. Tilting his head at me, he frowned at me. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” I smiled at him. “Your Charlie radar’s a little off these days, I guess. Must be distracted by that beautiful woman with the rock on her finger.” He grinned. “Ain’t she awesome? I still can’t believe she said yes,” he shook his head. “What if she changes her mind?” he whispered. I laughed. “She won’t, sweetie. So…when’s the actual wedding? You gonna have it here?” I got off the railing and took his hand. It felt so good just to be near him again, I didn’t want to break contact. Reading me perfectly, he pulled me into a hug, and then led me over to sit by James, still holding my hand. “I don’t think it’ll be here, no, and we haven’t decided on the exact date. You’ll come, though, right? She wants you to be her bridesmaid. Maid of Honor. Whatever the word is. Shit!” he slapped his forehead. “I wasn’t sposed to tell you that.” He looked at me sheepishly. “Maybe…you could act surprised?” I nodded. “Course I can. And of course I’ll be there!” I leaned over and kissed his cheek, ignoring the glares of hatred coming from James. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” “Het’s gonna be the best man!” he beamed at me. “Yeah, Woody told me. That’s great. I’m sure he’ll get you the best strippers in town.” I patted his hand. He looked over at James slyly. “You getting’ me strippers, dude?” James shot him a grin, looking genuinely happy for a second. “Whatever you want, buddy. Your call.” Turning back to me, Pep raised his eyebrows. “Think she’ll still marry me if I have strippers?” I laughed. “Darlin’, play your cards right and she’ll join in.” “Awesome! Okay, I gotta get back to the house, I think Mike’s comin’ over. You guys can stay here if you want. Just be back in time for dinner. Did you know Trish can cook?” I nodded, and he laughed. “Wicked.” He hugged me tightly, and kissed me lightly on the mouth. “Thanks for coming. We’ll hang out later, yeah? I need to get caught up on whatcha been up to lately.” “You bet.” I patted his cheek as he stood, and watched him jog back to the house. I felt James’ eyes on me, and shook my head without looking at him. “Don’t. Just…don’t.” He grabbed my arm roughly and I pulled away, standing up. “You said everything you needed to say the other night. I understand perfectly. I don’t need to hear it again.” Fuck. I hated how my voice was shaking. I started to walk away, and he reached out, holding my ankle to stop me. I tripped and fell forward, grabbing at the railing. James was on his feet in a flash. “God…Charlie…” “Don’t touch me,” I whispered. He stepped forward and I backed away, my breath coming in quick, shaky gasps. I turned and ran towards the house, not stopping until I’d reached the safety of the kitchen. Woody took one look at me and pulled a beer from the fridge. Popping the top, he handed it to me, and I followed him out to the back porch. “Thanks,” I said, taking a long pull. “Welcome. Need to talk about it?” “Nope.” I took another long drink, and rubbed the cold bottle over my face. “Cool. So…catch any of the game last night? Baltimore kicked ass. Yanks are slippin’,” he grinned at me. We sat out there until Trish called us in for dinner. There were too many of us to sit around the table, so everyone piled food on their plates and found a seat in the living room. I grabbed a second beer and Trish pulled me down to sit beside her on the couch. “You alright? Pep said he thought you seemed a little off earlier. Everything okay?” She glanced over to where Pepper and James and Mike were sitting. “Yeah. I think my body’s a little confused as to what time it is. I keep switching time zones on it, it’s catching up with me, maybe.” “We’re in the same time zone as Boston, where you’ve been for the last three weeks,” she said as she cut her chicken. “You gotta come up with a better lie for Pep if he asks you again. Which he will,” she said quietly. “He’s got ‘Charlie Time’ blocked into his schedule tonight, after eleven.” I stared at her in disbelief. “What? Dude, anything that late should be reserved for his future wife.” I winked at her. “That’s you.” She giggled. “I know. But seriously, honey, he’s dying to chat with you – so am I – and he and I have had plenty of, um, time lately. You’re one of his best friends. That doesn’t change just because he asked me to marry him. And don’t think I’m gonna lie to him for you, tell him everything’s fine!” she waved her fork at me. “Man can see through me like I’m a sheet of glass,” she muttered, and then shot me a grin. “It’s wonderful.” The two of us looked up as Pep sat down on the other side of her. “Hi, Mrs. Keenan,” he said, kissing her cheek. He winked at me. “I’m practicing. You busy later, doll?” he asked me. I shook my head. “Good. I’ve got two six packs chilling in the river by the pier. You and me. Eleven.” He kissed Trish again, and then planted a kiss on the top of my head before returning to his seat by James. I watched Trish watching him, a sweet smile on her face. “Awww… ‘My fiancé is so dreamy’,” I teased her. She swatted me with her hand. “Hey, you wanna go for a walk? I need to burn off some of this amazing meal you made.” We took our plates to the kitchen, and she grabbed something from a container under the sink. We walked down the road slowly, not talking. She pulled a lighter from her pocket and lit the joint she’d swiped. Inhaling deeply, she passed it to me. “Charlie?” she blew out the smoke slowly. “Why does this feel awkward? It’s us…it’s never awkward.” I took a drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs. I wasn’t used to it, and coughed a little, passing it back to her. “Maybe something to do with me kissing your boyfriend when he came to visit me?” She laughed. “I’m sorry about that. It was a mistake. A big one.” “No it wasn’t,” she shook her head. “He needed to sort out his feelings for you. I get that. And you should, too. For the longest time, he was head over heels in love with you.” She passed the joint back to me. “I have no idea how you didn’t see it…everybody else did.” I took another drag, longer this time. “Didn’t wanna see it, maybe. Wasn’t ready to. Or I was just plain stupid. That’s entirely possible.” I took another hit and passed it back to her. “I’m happy with how things turned out though, babes. I wouldn’t change a thing. You’re gonna make him so happy…” She giggled and slung her arm around my neck. “Already do.” We headed back to the house slowly, and I tried to catch her up on the last few weeks, leaving out a few details, like the scene at the museum. Pep and James were sitting on the front porch when we came up the drive. “Helloooooooo ladies,” Pep grinned at us. “Have a nice walk?” He came down the steps, putting an arm around each of us. “My…don’t you smell lovely. Would that be your perfume, baby girl? Eau de Chronic?” I giggled and leaned against him. “Dunno what you’re talkin’ about, Keenan.” He kissed my forehead. “My turn to hang out with ya now?” He kissed Trish and we walked down to the pier. “Where the fuck did I leave the beer…” I started laughing as he rolled up his jeans and waded around in the water. “Couldn’t just leave it in the fridge like normal folks?” I rolled up my own jeans and got in with him, pushing the reeds aside looking for the cans. I found the two six packs, and lifted them onto the pier. Pep grabbed one of my belt loops and pulled me backwards. “You got three seconds to tell me what the hell’s up before I dunk you,” he chuckled in my ear. I leaned back against his chest and sighed. “I can’t tell you,” I said quietly, and he let go of me. Turning around, I hugged him. “You have no idea how hard that is to say. But this is something I need to deal with on my own. You have enough stuff to think about, you can’t be worrying about me when you’ve got your own shit to deal with.” He pulled back a little to look at me. “I won’t say anything if you tell me, if that’s what you’re worried about. You know I’ll keep your secrets.” “I know, baby. And I promise I’ll tell you another time.” I rested my head against his chest. “Love you so much.” “Me too,” he said softly, rubbing a hand over my back. “Enough to drink all these beers with me and stop asking questions?” I grinned up at him. He nodded, smiling. We hopped onto the pier and each cracked open a can. “So…how’d you propose? Did you drag her onstage and get down one knee while the crowd went crazy? And then all the women in the audience threw a fit in anguish that you’re now off the market?” He stared at me, jaw hanging open. “How did you know?” We both burst out laughing. “Nah, I asked her while she was brushing her teeth. How unromantic, eh?” He finished with the can and crumpled it, opening another. “I just…I couldn’t help it. She was wearing a pair of my boxers and this old tee shirt Lemmy’d given her, and dancing around the hotel room in these…these freakin’ bunny slippers,” he laughed, and I smiled. I’d given those to her for Christmas, as part of our tacky-gift exchange, and she’d ended up loving them. “So she’s brushing her teeth and she gets up on the bed, still dancing, using the toothbrush for a mic, and I just stood in front of her, and said ‘marry me’.” He grinned at me. “And she jumped off the bed and spit out the toothpaste and said yes. In that order, thankfully.” He saw I was crying, and moved to hug me. “Happy tears, Pep. Don’t panic,” I laughed, wiping at my eyes. “Damn, buddy. That’s pretty much the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” We managed to finish off both six-packs, and a very thick joint, and I leaned against Pep as we walked back to the house a couple hours later. Stepping up to the front door, we heard shouts coming from the living room, and found everybody playing Taboo. Trish held up a card. “Okay, boys. You find this in a kitchen…or at least, you would if you had a normal kitchen, not like freakshow here who hasn’t even got a spatula,” she stuck her tongue out at Pep, who laughed. “Toaster! Microwave! Oven? Sink! Kitchen sink!” Mike yelled from his seat on the couch. “Table? Chairs? Silverware?” Phil stopped as everyone stared at him. “Sorry, that was a fancy word…knives and forks and shit?” Trish giggled and shook her head, looking at me. “Last time you and I drank at Benny’s, we went back to yours and you put your shirt in here after you got pizza on it.” “Dishwasher,” I laughed. “Damn. I really liked that shirt, too. I’m heading up to bed, guys. I’ll see ya tomorrow.” I patted Pep’s shoulder as I went out, and avoided looking at James. Opening the door to my room, I saw Trish had put a vase of fresh flowers on the dresser, and there was a pair of blue silk pajamas on top of the pillows. “Courtesy of the La Perla spree” was written on a little note on top of them. I pulled on the bottoms, pairing them with a white ribbed tank top, and curled up to flip through one of the wedding magazines she’d left in the room. When all the dresses started to look the same, I flipped off the light, and closed my eyes, listening to the chatter and occasional shout downstairs. Things were still awful with James, but my heart felt a little lighter. I woke in the middle of the night, feeling someone pressed against my back, their arm slung around my waist. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness, and studied the arm that was holding me. No ink. Sighing with relief, I wriggled my way free and rolled over to face Pep. He instinctively snuggled up to me again once I was on my side. "Pep..." I said quietly. Nothin'. "Pepper..." He kept sleeping. "KEENAN!" I hissed. "Shhh...m'sleeping," he mumbled, brushing his lips over my forehead. "I know you are, silly, but you're doing it in the wrong room. Trish'll be worried if she wakes up and you're not there," I whispered. "No...sleeping in different rooms til the wedding." He'd stopped mumbling and was fully awake. "What? Why different rooms?" "Dunno. Why can't I stay in here?" he closed his eyes again, rubbing a hand over my back. "Pep? While you're lovely and adorable and very comfy to wake up with, you're a total idiot." I got up and took his hand, leading him down the dark hallway. "Which room is she in?" He pointed to the third door, and I pushed it open slowly. Trish was sitting up, reading. "Hi, sugar. Look who I found." Still holding his hand, I walked over to the bed and sat. "Separate rooms?" She looked sheepish. "I read it somewhere, some wedding magazine. I'm sorry, baby, I know it was stupid," she said softly, looking up at Pep. "It wasn't stupid," he shook his head, running a hand over her hair. "I just hate sleeping without you. If you wanna sleep apart until the wedding...that's fine. But we're gonna have to get married, like, now." She laughed and pulled him down beside us. “You can stay in here. Or we can go to your room. Either way. I hate sleeping without you too. Stupid Bride magazine.” He stretched out beside her, and patted the space next to him. “C’mere baby girl. I’ll tell you two a bedtime story.” I scooted up the bed, and he put an arm around each of us. “Okay…once upon a time, this guy had a threesome with these two really hot- ow! Stop hitting me!” he laughed, as we slapped his arms. “Sorry, sorry, sorry. Once upon a time, there were two beautiful princesses. And one verra, verra ugly prince,” he drawled. “One princess was crazy enough to fall in love with the prince, making him the happiest man in the whole world. The other princess fell in love with another man, and then something happened between them, but the princess wouldn’t tell her friend, the prince, what it was. But the prince wanted her to know that if she ever needed anything, she could always come to him. Or to the other princess. Who appears to have fallen asleep,” he chuckled, glancing down at Trish. I smiled and kissed his cheek. “I know I can always come to you. But the first princess needs you to look after her now. And I’m fine. This’ll work out eventually.” I hugged him and got off the bed. “Love you guys. See you tomorrow.” “Night, baby girl. Sweet dreams.” I closed the door softly, and went downstairs for a glass of water. Smoking pot always made me so thirsty. James was in the kitchen when I walked in, and I fought the urge to turn around and leave. Instead, I pulled a clean glass from the cabinet, and ran the water in the sink. “There’s cold, bottled stuff in the fridge,” he said quietly. I put down the glass and turned off the tap. “Thanks.” Grabbing one of the Evians from the fridge, I opened it and leaned against the counter, taking a long drink. “Can’t sleep?” I asked as I wiped my mouth. “Not really.” He stood up and started to walk towards me. “Can’t seem to get the image of you and Sully out of my head. Or the image of you and Sully…and Lars.” When he reached the sink, he bent his head to mine and growled, “How ‘bout it, Charlie? You don’t have to do anything. Just spread your legs. Just like you did for everybody else.” I tried to move past him and he caught me around the waist. “James, stop it. You’re scaring me.” He let go immediately and I ran back up to my room, willing myself not to cry. “He’s just angry,” I said to myself. “He will NOT be like this the whole time.” “Talking to yourself, Trouble?” I looked up to see Phil standing in the doorway. “Jesus, Mary, Joseph and a camel,” I muttered. “Does no one sleep in this house?” I raked a hand through my hair. “Just talking myself off the ledge, buddy. I’m fine. You? How come you’re up?” “On my way to bed. Just heard you come up, thought I’d make sure you’re okay.” I nodded. “Okay, then. You tell yourself to have a good sleep then,” he smiled. “Night, sweets,” I said as he closed my door. I woke around nine, and could hear people talking downstairs. Taking advantage of the fact that there was nobody in the upstairs bathroom, I showered quickly, and pulled on a long white peasant skirt, and a pink tank top. “Hey…Ma Ingalls, nice skirt!” Woody grinned at me as I met him going down the stairs. I turned around and followed him back up. “Sweetie, I was kidding. It’s very pretty. Though it’ll probably get in your way when you’re trying to help Pa stack the wood and milk the cows.” I slapped his butt and went back into my room, changing into cutoff jean shorts and my Praise the Lowered tank. Het would probably think I was wearing it for his benefit. Asshat. I went down to the kitchen, and found Pep, Phil and Trish drinking coffee and discussing the outrageous cheating that had apparently transpired in Taboo after I’d gone to bed. I grabbed a box of Shreddies, and rooted through the fridge, trying to find some milk that was younger than me. "Keenan, would it kill ya to get groceries now and then?" He laughed and joined me in the hunt. "We're going later, gotta get some food for the party. And a cake for Het's birthday tomorrow. Unless you wanna make one?" he caught my expression and grinned. "Or not. Okay," he said, standing up. "No cereal for you. Want some eggs instead? I could make you my killer Spanish omelets." I saw Trish and Phil waving frantically behind him, shaking their heads, 'no', and I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "No honey, that's fine. Why don't Miss T and I take off to do the food shopping now, and we'll grab some breakfast ingredients while we're there." I kissed his cheek just as James and Mike and Woody came into the kitchen. "Guys? Any requests for food? We're going into town." "Civilization? Awesome. Can I come? I haven't seen people other than you fuckers in like a week," Mike grinned at me. A knock at the door cut off my response, and Woody opened it to find a UPS guy standing on the porch holding a long, narrow crate. "Holy shit...you guys get parcel service out here?" Trish signed for the package. "This must be for you, birthday boy." she smiled at James, handing it to him. He opened the crate, and lifted out a brand new Louisville Slugger. He read the card aloud, looking confused. "Happy Anniversary." Turning the card over, he shrugged. "No signature. Weird. Must have been a mix-up with the card." I saw Pepper watching me carefully. Suddenly Phil bolted from the kitchen, racing after the delivery guy. Trish and I stood in the doorway, watching as Phil shoved the man up against the UPS truck. "What the hell? Phil have something against UPS?" "Maybe he's more of a FedEx guy?" Trish giggled. I looked at Pep again, and it hit me like a punch to the stomach. "August second," I murmured, and he nodded. "Two years. I didn't even think..." I rubbed a hand over my face. "Whatever. No big deal, eh? Free sporting equipment." I glanced at James. "Keep it. Early birthday present." "I'll call the lawyers," Pep said quietly. "C'mon, chicas," Mike put an arm around each of us. "Let's get a move on. See y'all in a bit," he nodded at the rest of the guys. We piled into Woody's truck and Trish and I fought over the cd player while Mike drove. Two hours later, the three of us hauled what seemed like the entire contents of Langenstein's, into the house. "Did we leave ANY food at the store?" Trish asked, leaning against the table as Mike started unpacking. Pep wanted a huge feast, and we'd picked up everything on the list he'd written out, and then some. Red beans and rice, crawfish, smoked meats, oysters, shrimp, chicken wings, "Sauteed frogs legs?" Trish picked up the package and dropped it back on the table. "I think we got a little carried away." I could hear Pep yelling out back, and wandered through the house to find him hollering down his cell phone, with James leaning against the porch, watching. "What the fuck? Do these guys have access to ebay in there? They sent a fucking BAT to my HOUSE. What I wanna know," he lowered his voice, "is how the hell they knew she was here. So you find that out, and you call me the fuck back." He turned and saw me, and hung up. “Hi…” “Lawyers?” I tried to smile. He nodded. “Bastards, all of ‘em. We bought…um…I dunno, the entire seafood section, at least. You should check it out, see if we managed to miss anything.” He gave me a curious look, but went inside, the screen door banging shut behind him. I turned to face James, only to find he’d hopped off the porch and was heading around the side of the house. I ran after him. “James…hold up.” I put a hand on his arm and he whirled around. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he snarled. “You think that anything has changed just because somebody sent you a fucking bat, you’re wrong. I still can’t stand to be near you.” He started to walk away, and I reached out for his shoulder, wincing as he grabbed my hand and squeezed. “What did I JUST say?” “I need to talk to you about the bachelor party,” I said, trying not to let my voice sound strained, even though it felt like he might break my fingers. “You need to tell me something? Write me a note. I don’t want to talk to you.” He let go of my hand and I did the only thing that came to mind. His entire body seemed to tense as I hugged him, and then I felt one of his arms go around me as he let out an unsteady breath. “I can’t…” he whispered, tensing again. And then he yelled. “FUCK!” He pushed me away, not turning back as he walked around the side of the house. |
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| Metalicious | April 20, 2008, 2:36 pm Post #128 |
Blackened
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I went back inside, found some paper and a pen, and went up to my room. He wanted me to write a note? He would fucking get one. I brainstormed all over the paper, thinking of music, food, gifts and activities that Pep would want. James probably knew most of the stuff, but I figured there were some details he might leave out. I wrote down the name of the company I’d used to send Pep the strip-o-gram, knowing he’d laugh his ass off if the same chick wound up being a stripper at his bachelor party. It was almost an hour later when Trish knocked on the door and peeked her head in. “Hey, Charles,” she grinned at me. “You comin’ down for lunch, or what? The boys wanna play some mini-golf later. I told them you and I would pair up and kick their asses.” I smiled. “Sounds excellent. Hey…do you care if Keenan has strippers at his stag night?” She laughed. “Knock yourself out. The amount of women that flashed these guys on tour, I think he’s starting to become immune to boobs. Not to mine, of course,” she winked at me. “So, if you’re helping with the bachelor party, does that mean you and Het worked things out?” She looked so hopeful that I hated to tell her no, but I shook my head. “Shitty,” she said quietly. I followed her downstairs and made a peanut butter and banana sandwich for myself from the ingredients spread over the counter, before joining the guys on the front porch. I sat on the swing with Woody, catching James’ eye long enough for him to glare at me, and I lowered my gaze. “Comin’ golfing this afternoon?” Woody asked, sliding over a little. “You bet. I believe the plan is for Trish and I to whip your butts. S’what I was told, anyway,” I smiled at him. “Ohhhhhhhhh, is that so? Care to make a wager, ladies?” Pep put an arm around Trish and squeezed. “Loser buys the drinks tonight?” “That’s not really that much punishment, Pep,” Mike laughed. “Drinks at Carl’s are, what, two bucks? Although,” he shot me a sly look, “there’s gonna be at least ten or fifteen of us there, so that’s like thirty bucks a round. Yeah,” he nodded, having talked himself into it. “I’ll take that bet. Gentlemen?” Trish and I made a show of looking around. “What gentlemen? Only people here are you boys,” Trish giggled. I excused myself to get a drink, and started tidying up the kitchen while I was in there. I heard footsteps in the hall and turned to see James leaning against the door frame. Pulling out the folded paper of stag ‘do’ ideas, I handed it to him, turning my back to him as he unfolded it. “I’m sure you’ve got everything covered, those are just some things I thought of, you don’t have to use any of them. Obviously.” Tossing the dishcloth into the sink, I started to walk past him and he put an arm out, effectively blocking my exit. “What’s ‘A Bare Affair’?” he asked, looking at me suspiciously. I rolled my eyes. “It’s where I ordered his stripper from when I had one sent here before. I think her name was Rebecca or something, but the company will have it on file. I just thought…” I looked up and saw he was staring at me in disbelief. “Nevermind, it was a stupid idea. Fuck it.” I ducked under his arm and walked straight into Pep. “Hey, baby girl,” he smiled and looped an arm around my waist, taking one of my hands as he spun me around in a waltz move. He danced me back down the hallway and into the living room, and then spun me out, letting go of me as I reached the couch. “Clever, clever,” I laughed. “That I am. You gonna be alright tonight if we’re at Carl’s? We just figured it’d be the best place to go since we know everybody, and we won’t have to drive.” “Course, I’ll be fine. I’ll be drunk, but I’ll be fine,” I winked at him. “Two-dollar shots, I think I might offer to pay Woody to carry me home. Oooh, or maybe we could bring the wheelbarrow?” He gazed at me, a little smile playing on his lips. “I’m nervous, too,” he said softly, running a hand over my hair. “But you’re not leaving alone, under ANY circumstances. One, or all of us, will go with you, whenever you wanna leave. Although, knowing you and Trish, you two will wind up closing the bar. Mikey’s bringing his digital for when you girls start dancing on the tables.” I laughed and hugged him. “Okay, buddy. I wouldn’t count on the table dancing but it’s nice to know you’re lookin’ out for me.” Trish bounced into the room and threw her arms around us. “Group hug!” she yelled happily. “Are you okay with going to Carl’s?” she whispered to me. I nodded. “Did you know they expect us to dance on the bar?” I nodded again. “Did you know it’s up to you to keep me sober enough not to do that?” “Dude, I’m not sure I can keep me sober enough to make sure you’re sober enough.” We both looked at Pep, who backed away, holding up his hands. “No chance. If there’s girlie dancing action at stake, I’m buying the rounds.” He grinned and left the room. “Busy?” Trish raised an eyebrow at me. “Nope. Wanna look at dresses?” “Yay!” She grabbed my hand and we raced upstairs, settling onto the bed in her and Pep’s room. We got through two stacks of bridal magazines, and had narrowed the options for her dress down to two. “Now, for you, miss maid of honor – Pep told me he told you – I was thinking something like this. But, it’s really up to you. Since there’s nobody else in the wedding party, you don’t have to match anyone.” I leaned over and looked at the page, reading the description. “Off-white rosebud silk organza, strapless cocktail length dress with leaf ribbon at waist.” I rested my head on her shoulder. “It’s perfect.” “Ahhh, my two girls, cuddling. That’s what I like to see.” We looked up to see Pepper and James in the doorway. “So…get your dresses sorted? You do know Het and I ain’t wearin’ tuxes, right?” he shot Trish a panicked look. “You said that was okay. You said you didn’t care if I went bare ass as long as I was there.” “Honey, I’d really like you to wear clothes to the wedding-” she started and James and I interrupted at the same time. “Me too!” Pep grinned. “Fine. No tuxes though. Everybody’s ready to hit the mini-golf, gals, just waitin’ on you. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” He herded us downstairs, and out to the three cars we were taking. Three hours later, we arrived back at the house. Trish and I were still high-fiving from our winning streak, annoying the boys to no end. “You cheated,” Pep shrugged as he sank into a chair at the kitchen table. “That’s all there is to it. My two best girls…both lying, cheating, immoral, underhanded…” “Talented, athletic, graceful, WINNERS!” Trish finished for him triumphantly. I excused myself to go upstairs, hoping to get in a nap before dinner. A soft knock on the door as I was lying down alerted me to James’ presence. “S’up?” “You’re going to the bar tonight?” He came in, uninvited, and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Yeah, aren’t you?” Why was he asking? He already knew I was planning on going. “Yes, but I’m not the one who went there two years ago, TO THE DAY, and got gangbanged on her way home.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I just can’t believe you’re doing this. It’s like you want it to happen again or something.” He shot me a sideways glance. “Do you NEED the drama? The attention? Is that what this is? What happened in Boston, that wasn’t enough drama for you?” I stared at him, unable to believe he was being so nasty. “Boston was plenty, thanks, James. I’m going tonight because my two best friends asked me to go. And no, I’m not hoping for a repeat performance of two years ago. Though I’m sure it would please you if it happened,” I spat at him. “Yeah,” he nodded, narrowing his eyes at me. “That’s what I want. MORE guys fucking you.” He stood up and opened the door. “Suit yourself, Charlie. Just don’t come crying to me again when it all goes wrong.” He slammed the door behind him, and I looked around for something heavy to throw. The door opened again before I found anything suitable. “You have GOT to tell me what’s going on,” Pep said firmly, stretching out beside me. “Nothing’s going on,” I mumbled, burrowing under the blankets. “We’re arguing over what to get you for a wedding gift.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Really wish you’d let me in on this, baby girl.” He pulled the blankets up to my chin. “Want me to wake you up for dinner?” I nodded and reached out an arm to hug him. “Go to sleep. And no more door slamming, it freaked Woody.” I was woken at five by Trish. Swapping my shorts for jeans, I grabbed a hoodie, and after a light dinner – ‘eatin’s cheatin’, to quote Mike – we took off for Carl’s. Some of Pep and Phil’s other buddies were meeting us there, and since they knew all the staff, it was likely we’d wind up knowing most of the people in the bar. James walked ahead with Pep, and I walked at the back with Phil. We’d fallen behind the rest of the group, and I was surprised when he put a hand on my arm, stopping me. “This is it,” he said softly. “This is what?” I looked around, confused. “Where I found you,” he stared at the road, kicking at a pebble. “The big boulder over there, that’s how I know. You were lying right here.” His voice was so quiet that I had to move closer to hear him. Glancing up at me, he drew out his pack of smokes and lit one. “I never told you…I was gonna leave like half an hour earlier. But I couldn’t find this shirt I wanted to wear. If I’d just left…” I didn’t need to go looking for drama. It seemed to find me. “C’mere, buddy,” I said quietly, and wrapped my arms around him. “It’s not your fault. None of it was anyone’s fault, except for the guys who did it.” Pulling away, I pinched a cigarette and he lit it for me. “Now hurry up and gimme a piggy back to the bar.” Giving me a sweet little smile, he turned around and hunched over, letting me jump on his back. I looped my arms around his neck and he set off again, warning me not to burn his hair with the cigarette. He didn’t put me down until we were well inside Carl’s, and I saw James watching me as I slid down to the floor. “I’ll get the drinks, you get us a seat,” I said to Phil, and made my way to the bar. “Four bottles of whatever’s coldest, please, darlin’,” I said to the cute bartender. He handed me four bottles of Bud, and I grimaced. “It’s the coldest,” he grinned. “Do me a favor, and throw some Corona or something, Jesus, anything, back there in the fridge, would ya? We’re gonna be here for a while and if I have to drink watered down piss all night, I might cry.” “She’ll probably cry, anyway,” James announced, appearing at my side. “Such a charmer, Hetfield,” I muttered, and sighed as he blocked my way. “Can you please stop doing that? For somebody who doesn’t wanna talk to me, you sure as fuck seek me out a lot.” “Just wondering who’s on the bill for tonight. I’ve got a twenty on you banging Phil, but Mike seems to think you’ll go for the bartender. Guess he didn’t notice the way you were cuddling with Phil in the middle of the road back there.” He leaned against the bar, tilting his head at me. “Okay, first of all? Mike would never take a bet on who I’m gonna shag, since he knows the history of me and this bar. So stop making shit up. Secondly?” I leaned in and dropped my voice. “Phil was apologizing for not finding my broken, bloody and unconscious body sooner. He was the one who found me, James. Back there on the same spot where I was hugging him. And the guy still feels guilty that he didn’t find me sooner. Don’t you dare bring this up again and make it worse for him. You can be a dick to me as much as you like, but for Christ’s sake, leave other people out of it.” I stormed off to find Phil, and handed him two of the beers. Chugging one back without even tasting it, I slammed the bottle down on the table. “Awwww, shit,” Trish sighed. “There goes any hope of you being sober enough to stop the table dancing.” “One Budweiser, two Budweiser, three Budweiser, floor?” I grinned at her, ignoring James as he sat down opposite me. “Don’t worry, doll. Your future hubby’ll look after ya.” The bottles piled up steadily as the night wore on, and as midnight approached, I noticed I couldn’t stand or see very well. On my last trip to the bathroom, I’d walked straight into a wall, much to everyone’s amusement. “I think somebody’s reaching her limit,” Pep smiled at me. “You ‘bout ready to call it a night, baby girl?” “Noooooooo! S’early. I’m fine. Just gonna go outside and get some air. Be right back.” I stumbled out of the bar, gasping as the fresh night air hit my lungs. “Sooo much better,” I said softly. Weaving slightly, I wandered over to the road, looking down the long stretch of pavement. I couldn’t see the place Phil had shown me, it was too dark, but I knew it wasn’t that far. “Got a light?” I whirled around, losing my balance, and James’ hand went out to steady me. “Asshole!” I screamed at him. “What the hell are you trying to do, scare me to death?” Beating my fists against his chest, I struggled as he put his arms around me. “Let GO!” He dropped his hands to his sides. “Jesus Christ, Hetfield, of all the things to say…” “Relax, Charlie. I just wanted to get your attention. I’m heading back, wondered if you wanted me to walk you. Easier than you trying to get Pep to leave early, unless you’re happy to drag him away from his friends.” He rubbed his thumb over my cheek. “Knew you’d end up crying.” I wiped at my eyes, backing away. “Yeah, thanks to you and your lovely greeting. God. Next time just shoot me and be done with it.” I looked up at him. “You really leaving now?” He nodded. I knew it was stupid, but I just wanted five seconds alone with him. Maybe he’d let me talk. “Fine. Gimme a second.” I stuck my head back in the bar, and saw Pep and Trish cuddled up in a corner, so I waved Woody over. “You’re going home…with Het?” He looked so confused. “I know it’s ridiculous, but he’s leaving, and I wanna go to sleep soon, and you guys aren’t ready to go. I’ll be fine.” “Not worried about you,” he muttered. “Worried about him. One false move and you’re gonna start showing him those boxing moves you learned.” I giggled at him and he smiled. “Call if you need anything.” He looked at me for a minute and then hugged me. “Pep’s gonna worry about you leaving without him. Didn’t go so well the first time.” I kissed his cheek and pulled away. “I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.” I joined James outside again, and we set off down the road, neither of us talking. After a few minutes of walking in silence, I felt his hand slip into mine. I started to pull away and his grip tightened. “So…it was right about here?” he said quietly, stopping. I looked around, and saw the big rock Phil had pointed out. “Yeah,” I took an unsteady breath. “They came out of the ditch over there, I guess. Well, the first guy came up to me and then…yeah, you know the story.” I swayed drunkenly to one side, and James steadied me, looking at the side of the road. He let go of my hand, and walked over to the ditch, turning around to face me. “So they came from this side?” he said as he walked towards me slowly. “And then the first guy, what, whipped out the bat?” He stood close to me. “Knocked you over the back of the head?” Putting his hand on my head, he drew me towards him, and I felt my knees buckle, remembering. “And you fell to the ground,” he said quietly as I sank to my knees on the pavement. Squatting in front of me, he stared at me, blue eyes bright in the darkness. “And then what?” “And then my phone rang,” I said softly, staring back at him. “And after they hung up?” His voice was cold and unwavering. I tried to get up but my legs were too shaky. “After they hung up, Charlie. Then what?” “The guy…with the bat. Hit me again,” I sniffled, and realized I was crying. I put a hand to the back of my head, touching the place where the bat had hit. “And then? After they hit you?” he demanded, leaning his face in close to mine. I could smell his cologne, and gagged slightly at the male scent of him. “What did they do next, Charlie? Tell me!” I was shaking violently, but James’ grip on my arm kept me from moving. “The…the first guy. He yanked my jeans off.” My hand automatically went to the button on my jeans, making sure it was done up. “Kept grabbing at me, hurting me…pulling my hair back…” My fingers scraped the pavement, trying to find something to grab onto. “And he wouldn’t let go. I kept screaming, and nobody came to help me,” I whimpered. “I tried…tried so hard to fight. He was so much stronger than me. And then…” I closed my eyes, trying not to see the images burned on my memory of that night. “they held me down for him.” I shuddered, trying to shake the feeling of his hands on me. Of all their hands, pinning me down. Tears were streaming freely down my face. “Charlie…Charlie, you can stop…it’s okay…” “Noooooooo…” I whispered. “Not okay. Not okay. There were more. There were FIVE of them, James, don’t you GET IT? And they all took a turn! No matter how much I screamed… they just passed me around. One after the other after the other. Until the last one. The old guy? With the tire iron? He started to use it on me, and I’m screaming, and crying, and begging…and they didn’t say ANYTHING, they just held my arms, and my legs…and…oh my god…it hurt so much…they wouldn’t stop. Why wouldn’t they stop?” I sobbed, and then yanked my arm away from James just in time to lean over and retch uncontrollably. I clutched at my stomach, doubled over at the waist as I was sick all over the road. Again and again, I pictured those men standing over me, and my stomach revolted at the thought. Feeling a hand on my back, I screamed, and Pep came around in front of me, brushing my hair off my face. “Shhhh, baby girl,” he gathered me into his arms once I’d stopped heaving. “Shh, darlin’. I’m here now, you’re okay.” He kissed my forehead, and put an arm under my legs and back, picking me up as he stood. “You’re…you need to…Trish…” I whispered, still crying. “Trish is fine, baby girl,” he murmured, shifting my weight in his arms. “Let’s get you home, okay?” I sobbed quietly against his shirt, holding on to him for dear life as he walked back to the house with me in his arms. Yanking the door open, he took me upstairs into the bathroom. Putting me down, he held me against him, and got me a glass of water from the tap. “Rinse and spit, baby.” I did so, still huddled against his chest, not wanting to let go. “How come…how come you came after me?” I said softly as we went into my bedroom and he dug out my pajamas for me. “Woody said you left with Het. Lift your arms.” I held them up, and he pulled off my shirt, quickly replacing it with the white tank. “Up, baby,” he instructed, and I stood. Helping me off with my jeans, he waited as I pulled on the pajama bottoms, and then reached under my shirt, removing my bra so fast I didn’t have time to react. “Where’s James?” I whispered, shivering. “Dunno. He took off when I got to you. Soon as I get you to sleep, though, I’m gonna find him.” He kissed my forehead. “And then I’m gonna kill him,” he said matter-of-factly. “Not his fault,” I sniffed, letting him tuck me in. “Please don’t get mad at him. It’ll only make things worse. You should go back and get Trish.” Dizziness set in as I lay back on the pillow, and I shut my eyes, trying to get the room to stop spinning. Pep rolled me onto my side, towards him. “Trish gave me strict orders to follow you, make sure you were okay. I’ll go back to the bar in a bit, but not until you’re alright.” One of his fingers traced along my tear-streaked cheek, and he sighed. “Maybe Woody should be the best man…” I bolted upright. “Nononononononononooooo! I promise, this whole thing will be sorted by the wedding. Everything will be fine. No more crying. Or vomiting. Cross my heart. Please don’t change a thing, Pep.” I squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry for all the shit I’m causing, baby. I swear it’ll settle down soon.” He pushed me back gently onto the pillows again and pulled the blankets up around me. “Don’t apologize. You’re not causing any shit.” Kissing my forehead, he stood up. “Sleep, baby. I’m heading back, but I won’t be gone long. I’ll come check on you when we get home.” I nodded, and watched him leave. I heard the screen door slam, and closed my eyes, trying to relax enough to sleep. After several minutes, I gave up and went downstairs to get some water. Splashing some water over my face in the sink, I pondered what to do. If I stayed, things would probably escalate with James to the point where one of us blew up. If I left…was that letting him win? Was it just the smart thing to do? A noise on the porch started me out of my thoughts, and I saw James pacing, on his cell phone. Pep must have missed him. I moved closer to the door, listening. “No, I’m not drinking again. It’s part of his fucking engagement party, Fran. What was I supposed to do, stay home? Just cause I was AT the bar, doesn’t mean I drank. Christ. I’m sorry I missed the kids calling, but I’ll call them tomorrow. And if you’d let me know WHEN…” he stopped talking and shoved the phone in his pocket. I guessed Fran had hung up. “Fuck,” he said softly, sinking into one of the chairs, his head in his hands. I watched as his whole body began to shake, and realized he was crying. Pushing open the screen door, I walked over and sat in the chair opposite him. Putting a hand on his leg, I waited for him to push me away, but he only looked at me. “You okay?” I asked softly. He shook his head slowly. I took his hand, and stood up. “Please don’t get angry, but…I think I know what might make you feel better. Trust me?” He shot me a look. “Okay, fine. Follow me?” He got up, and I ran inside, grabbing the baseball bat from where he’d left it in the corner of the kitchen. “Charlie…” “Just wait a second.” I jumped off the porch, and went into the garage. Turning the light on, I hunted around for a minute, and found what I was looking for. I flicked another light on, and the side of the house was lit up. Holding the bat, and showing James the bag of golf balls I’d found, I raised an eyebrow. “See who can hit farther into the river?” He stayed put, with his hands on his hips. I flicked a final switch, and the garage stereo started up, with AC/DC. I moved so I was standing in front of him. “I know you’re angry. I get that, but I don’t know how to fix it right now. I do know that if you hit thirty balls into the water while listening to “Hell’s Bells”, you might feel a little better.” Saying nothing, he took the bag from me and set it down. I watched as he took one out, threw it up in the air, and whacked the shit out of it with the bat. The tiniest of smiles crossed his face as the little ball sailed down and made a splash as it hit the water. Glancing briefly at me, he took another one, and did the same thing. I lost count of the balls before he handed me the bat. “See whatcha got.” I shook my head. “Too drunk. Can’t aim.” “Chicken.” I stared at him, and then took the bat and one of the golf balls. Digging my bare heels into the ground, I tossed the ball high, and connected with it at eye level, smiling as it soared down into the river. “There. Happy?” He snorted. “No. Where’d you get the idea to do this, anyway?” “Pep. This was therapy for me. No batting cages around here, just golf courses. He bought a huge bucket of golf balls, and after a few broken windows, we decided I better just aim for the water.” I looked over at him. “It worked, I usually felt better after. I’m not sure Phil – your Phil – would approve, but I liked it. Felt good to be the one in control. The one wielding the bat.” I heard voices behind us, and turned to see everyone returning from the bar. “Batting practice, baby girl?” Pep hollered as he ran over and scooped me up. “Feeling better?” he murmured. “Yeah…a little.” “Works every time,” he grinned, setting me down. I chatted briefly with Trish, watching the boys take turns at bat, and then said goodnight. Going upstairs, I ran through the numbers on my cell phone until I found the one I was after. Twenty minutes later, I hung up, and found James watching me from the doorway. “Going somewhere?” he asked quietly. “Yeah. Home. I need to get my shit together before the wedding. I can’t do it here. And you and Pep deserve some time together that isn’t interrupted by me crying or puking.” I sighed, putting the phone on the dresser. “So you’re running away again.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Call it what you want, Het. You said it yourself. I desperately need to get my head on straight. And me being here is only upsetting you and making things harder for Pepper.” “Bullshit. You’re running cause you’re scared to stay and deal with it.” I closed my eyes against the tears that were threatening to surface yet again. “I’m leaving because you won’t LET me deal with it. And I’m not strong enough to know how to deal with THAT. So yeah,” I opened my eyes. “I guess I am running. But I don’t know what else to do. It’s hurting Pep that I can’t tell him…I said I didn’t wanna distract him from his wedding plans, but that’s a lie.” I swiped at the few tears that were escaping. “I can’t tell him cause I don’t want him to hate me, too. I will tell him,” I said slowly, looking up at James. “I will, in my own time. But…I can’t do it right now. I need one person who doesn’t hate me. Even if it’s a lie, cause he doesn’t know the truth. I just need that.” “What time’s your flight?” His voice was quiet. “Ten,” I looked at him. He started to turn away, closing the door behind him. “James?” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Happy birthday.” |
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| Metalicious | April 20, 2008, 2:42 pm Post #129 |
Blackened
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I woke at seven, my alarm beeping steadily at me, and I packed my bags. I found Pep in the kitchen, making coffee. “Morning,” he said quietly. “James told me you were leaving…” I sighed, and took the mug he handed me. “Yeah. I wish I could stay and hang with you guys longer, but I think it’s probably best if I go now. It’ll make things easier in the long run.” He nodded slowly, like he wasn’t convinced. “Pep, you’re getting married. Everything that’s going on right now should be focused on you and Trish. Not on me and Moody McJackass.” “It’s not focused on you, doll. Not for the most part, anyway.” I raised an eyebrow. “Then maybe it just seems that way to me. I just want everybody to be able to relax, and not have to think about me being worried, or uncomfortable, and who’s gonna walk me home from where, and all that shit. Okay?” “I love you,” he said softly. I blinked at him, confused. “I know. Love you, too.” He walked over to me, sliding an arm around my shoulders and resting his forehead against mine. “Then you should know that nothing you say, or do, could ever change that. And when you finally decide to tell me what the hell happened with you and James, or you and Sully, or you and Lars…” he kissed my cheek. “All I’m gonna do is listen. And give you advice if you ask for it.” I smiled at him. “What, were you standing outside my door last night or something? Hear me tell James I was worried about telling you?” He shot me a lazy grin and moved back. “I just know stuff, is all. Now, eat some breakfast, and I’ll take you to the airport.” I peeked in the boys’ rooms and said goodbye quickly, getting a bear hug from Phil, who was too hung-over to say much. Popping in to see Trish, I hugged her quickly and said I’d call in a few days. I stood outside James’s door, my hand on the doorknob, wondering if I should say goodbye. Suddenly the door opened and he was standing in front of me. He looked surprised to see me, but he quickly recovered and his expression turned to one of anger. “Thought you were leaving.” “I am. I was…considering saying goodbye.” He shrugged. “Bye,” and with that, he shoved past me to walk down the hall to the bathroom. I watched him go, and was startled when Phil appeared out of nowhere, blocking James’ way. “Phil, man,” James laughed, “move. I gotta piss.” Phil tilted his head to the side, and crossed his arms in front of him. “I heard what happened last night,” he said softly. “And I think, before I let you through, you oughta turn the fuck around and apologize to my friend, Charlie.” Oh, shit. James cursed softly and turned around. Without saying a word, he walked past me and headed downstairs. Phil ran a hand through his long hair. “I really kinda thought that would work, doll. Sorry. If it makes ya feel any better, I’m pretty sure Mikey puked in the downstairs john last night, and nobody’s cleaned it up yet.” I laughed. “That is both reassuring, and very, very gross.” He pulled me into a hug, tucking my head against his bare chest. “Safe flight, okay? I’ll see you at the wedding. If they ever tell us where the fuck it’s gonna be,” he chuckled. I ran downstairs and took my bag out to the truck, waiting for Pep. He climbed in beside me and threw BLS on the cd player. “We have just enough time,” he grinned, “for a drive-by milkshake at Bettie’s. Woods mentioned he took you there.” “Ain’t it a little early for a milkshake?” I grinned, copying his accent. “Baby girl, would I lead you astray? Milkshakes in the morning are the best. Okay?” “Sounds good,” I smiled. We picked up two enormous chocolate shakes to go. I kicked off my flipflops, twisting under my seatbelt so my legs were stretched across the bench seat, feet pressed against Pep’s hip. I rolled down the window, and leaned back against the locked door, letting my hair whip about in the wind. Pep looked at me and laughed. “You do that every time,” he said, “ and then you complain when your hair gets all tangled and knotted. You’d think you’d learn.” I giggled, holding out my hand, palm down. “My learning curve is flat,” I explained, taking another sip of milkshake. “So…where’s the wedding? And when?” He shot me a sideways glance. “Why, doll? Got a busy schedule comin’ up in your last month off from work? Gonna have to pencil us in somewhere?” I laughed. “Exactly. Very, very busy, I’ll have you know. I’ve got dogs to walk, if they even recognize me after being gone so long, and neighbors to visit, and ohhh…actually, I’ve gotta go see Jan. I should write that down.” I pulled my daybook and Blackberry out of my bag and made notes in each to go see her. Pep watched with amusement. “Freakin’ lawyer,” he grinned. “Freakin’ rock star,” I muttered back at him, kneading his leg with my feet. We pulled up to the airport several minutes later, and Pep waited while I checked in. “I’ll call you in a few days, let you know where and when to meet us, okay?” he ran a fingertip up and down my arm as he spoke. I nodded. “And you call me anytime you need to. Whenever you wanna talk. I’m ready to hear it.” Hugging me tight, he kissed the top of my head. “Thanks for comin’ down, baby girl. I know it wasn’t easy for you.” “Anytime,” I murmured. “Take care of Trish. And Het.” He muttered something that sounded like ‘not fucking likely’, and I laughed. Hugging him a final time, I made my way towards the gate for my flight, and turned to see him watching me. I waved, and he smiled, waving back. He put his hand over his heart, and then pointed at me, his little move for ‘love you’. I did the same, and walked away. The flight was uneventful. I flipped through a Vogue magazine someone had left in the pre-boarding lounge, and listened to my iPod. Taking a cab to my house, I was delighted to see that Mrs. D. had been over, and left a tin of homemade cookies, along with a note saying the dogs were fine, and could they please keep them forever. In exchange for more cookies. I unpacked, straightened up the house, and went for a quick swim before heading over to get the dogs. “Well, hello darlin’,” she greeted me warmly as she slid open the back door to her house. “Welcome back. Your boys sure missed you.” She moved aside and I saw Duke and Fire laying on the floor, curled up with each other, looking for all the world like they’d lived there their whole lives. I laughed. “They didn’t miss me at all! Look at them!” She ushered me inside, and made us some tea. I told her about Pep and Trish, and she was thrilled, immediately asking where they were registered so she could send a gift. I had no idea if they were registered anywhere, so we flipped through a back issue catalogue of Sharper Image, trying to find the most ridiculous thing possible. “Sea Scooter? Personal water propeller?” I pointed out and she laughed. “I was thinking…Star Wars Light Sabre. I saw it on play.com,” her eyes lit up. “You rock,” I grinned, taking a sip of the hot, sweet tea. “All my guy friends covet that, he’ll love it. And for Trish?” She hooked up her laptop, and we browsed through the website, adding lots of fun little girlie stuff to the basket, and finally clicked ‘order’. “I’m not sure about the candy g-string,” she furrowed her brow, and I hooted with laughter. “You are the coolest lady I know,” I giggled as I wiped my eyes. “Well, maybe tied with Jan. God, how lucky am I to have you both in my life. I should have the two of you over for tea sometime, so we can all hang out.” “Aww, darlin’, I’m just as lucky to have you. Not all my friends lead such, erm, interesting lives. So what’s next for you? You seem a little…overwhelmed. In need of a rest, maybe?” I smiled at her, loving the way she knew me so well. She was like a mix of psuedo-grandmother and girlfriend. “Yeah, a rest is definitely in order. I was thinking of taking the dogs up to the ranch for a few days. Check out the house, just spend some time alone for a bit.” I glanced over at Duke and Fire. “Unless you wanna keep them here longer? They do seem to love staying with you.” She looked sheepish. “I feed them bacon at breakfast. That might be part of the reason. But no, sweetheart, you take them with you. I’m sure they’ll enjoy having the space to run.” We talked a bit longer, and then I roused the dogs to go home. I called Jan, and accepted her invite for dinner that evening, saying I’d bring dessert. I spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon doing laundry and then packing what I’d need for a trip to the ranch. At six, I hopped on my bike and drove over to Jan’s, with the components for strawberry shortcake in little containers in my bag. She greeted me at the door with a warm hug. We took our dinner out on the porch, chatting as we ate. “I can’t believe they’re getting married,” she said, smiling, after I told her about Pep and Trish. “So soon…that’s lovely though. You must be so excited. Is she the first of your friends to tie the knot?” “The first of my close friends, yeah. And I haven’t taken part in a wedding since I was about twelve, so I’m pretty psyched that she asked me to be in it.” “And James is the best man, how perfect!” she exclaimed. I hadn’t the heart to tell her it was actually far from perfect. “I loved seeing the two of you together when you brought by all that food. Cliff would be pleased you’re taking care of each other,” she added quietly, and I felt my heart break a little more. “So…” Time for a subject change. “You’re sure it’s fine if I hang out at the ranch house? I still feel a little shocked that Ray left it to me.” “He wanted you to have something, somewhere, a connection to us, and to Cliff. The ranch seemed to suit. We talked about it, Charlie, before he died. We agreed on it. It’s yours, to do with it what you like. I know you already have quite a large house, sweetheart. If you want to sell the ranch, that’s absolutely fine, too.” “No, no,” I assured her. “I’d never sell it. It should stay in the family. Or, with me. I guess I’m family,” I gave her a quick smile. “It’s still a little hard to get my head around.” She patted my hand. “You’re family. Don’t you doubt it for a second. And you talk instead of eating, just like your grandfather. Finish your supper, honey, we can talk over dessert.” “Yes ma’am,” I grinned at her, and she laughed. I made up the strawberry shortcakes while Jan brewed some coffee, and we returned to the porch. Her sister had been staying with her since the funeral, and had only left a couple of days ago, so Jan was adjusting to being on her own for the first time. I asked her to come with me to the ranch, and she declined. “I need to get used to it, honey. I’ll be fine. I have a great support network of friends. I’m thinking though, I might get a pet. Maybe a cat…or maybe a puppy,” she smiled. I stared at the ground for a moment, unsure of how to ask the question I’d wanted to know the answer to for weeks. “Aren’t you angry?” I said softly. “Aren’t you mad that he’s gone?” She slid an arm around my shoulders. “I was. I was furious, actually. We vowed to grow old together. And this,” she shot me a sideways glance, gesturing to herself with her other hand, “is not old. And I can’t honestly say I’m over it. I still get mad. I still wake up in the morning and think I can hear him making a racket in the kitchen while he makes me breakfast,” she smiled. “And I still go to sleep at night on my side of the bed, half-thinking he’ll come in after the game is over, or when he finishes reading. He always read in the living room, he didn’t want to keep me up by having his bedside light on.” She dabbed at her eyes and I leaned against her. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.” “It most certainly IS your business. We’re family. We get to be nosy like that,” she smiled. “And I’m sure you went through similar things with your parents. And then when you found out about your birth-parents. And I can imagine it wasn’t easy for you when Ray died either. I don’t think we ever get used to losing people. But it’s part of the deal, honey. I know it doesn’t make it any easier. Ray had a good life. And so did Cliff, while he was here. And now they get to be together again. And that?” she looked at me. “Makes me happy.” I stayed at her house until dusk, and then figured I should take off before it got really dark. She laid a hand on my arm as I opened the front door. “I nearly forgot, I have something for you. James brought it by the day after the funeral. Said you might want it sometime…” she went upstairs briefly and returned with a little velvet bag. “I put it in here so I wouldn’t lose it. There, now. Drive safely, and you call me when you get back, we’ll have lunch with your neighbor. She sounds like a sweetie.” She hugged me fiercely and waved as I started up the bike, tucking the little velvet pouch into my messenger bag. I let the dogs in first, and changed into my pajamas, taking a mug of herbal tea up to my bedroom. Sitting on my bed, I opened the drawstring pouch and felt a huge lump form in my throat as the silver crucifix I’d left in the church slid out of the velvet bag and onto the duvet. Without thinking, I picked up my phone and dialed Pep’s number. He answered on the third ring. “Hi baby, can I talk to James?” James came on the line, apparently unaware that it was me calling. “Hetfield.” “Why’d you do it?” I whispered. He sighed. “I’ve done a lot of things lately. Which one in particular do you wanna fight about now?” “My necklace. The one I left in the church. Why’d you go back and get it?” He was quiet, the only sound from his end was his steady breathing. “I thought you might wanna wear it again sometime. When you’d healed. When you’d forgiven.” “James…” “Don’t. That was before you jumped into bed with Sully. Again. If I’d known what you were gonna do, I would have left the damn thing in the church.” The phone clicked, and then the dial tone rang in my ear. I turned off the lights, curling up under the covers with the necklace wrapped around my fist. When I woke at ten, the first sound I heard was rain pounding against the windows. Duke was sitting beside my bed, head tilted to one side. “Morning, pup. Nasty day, hmm? Suits my mood though.” I showered quickly and threw on jeans and an old Black Sabbath tee, and ate my breakfast as I read the paper. The doorbell rang as I was doing up the dishes, and before I could answer it, Jackson walked in. “Morning, slacker,” he grinned. I ran and threw my arms around him. I hadn’t seen him for weeks, we’d only been in contact on the phone or email. “I just tossed the coffee, but I can start a fresh pot if you’re staying.” I started to pull him into the kitchen. “I’m not, actually. But a little birdie called and filled me in on the altercations you made to your truck a few weeks back. Thought I’d stop by and see if I could help out. C’mere.” He gestured to the window and I looked outside. My truck, fully restored, was out front. I gasped in awe. “How the hell…I totaled it. I mean, I completely and totally wrecked the front of it. You shoulda seen it, it was like a damn accordion, I swear. How did…I don’t get it.” “Benny, worker of miracles, fixer of trucks…giver of guilt trips,” he laughed. “He says if you don’t stop by soon he’s gonna close up shop for good. I said I’d pass on the message. You doin’ okay?” he gave me a once-over, and I saw the look of disapproval on his face. “Fuck, Charlie. I’ve seen you after some all-nighters, honey, and you never looked this tired. Three days with ten hours sleep, and a celebratory drinking binge after, and you looked better than this. Even after the company Christmas party, when we crashed on Richard’s yacht…you looked better.” “You can stop now, Jackson, I get it,” I told him, laughing. “And I’m about to take off for a few days-” “Again?” he asked, incredulous. “Yeah. But not far. You’re timing’s great though, I was gonna have to get a lift, and now I don’t have to.” I ended up giving him a ride home, and then waited til after lunch to take the dogs up to the ranch. I parked beside the old blue truck James had given me, musing at the fact that I had gone from having no trucks, to having two. The dogs raced around the field, chasing each other while I fumbled for the key to the house. Stepping inside, I dropped my bags on the floor and decided to have a look around. The floors were dusty, and I kept my boots on, smiling as the dogs rushed past me, anxious to look around too. The first floor was laid out similarly to the house I’d grown up in. The kitchen was the first room I walked into, with a big hearth and a little pantry, and a huge window overlooking the field. Off to the right was a dining room, and behind that, a living room. The fourth corner to the square of the four rooms was another lounge area, sort of like an old fashioned parlor. A staircase split off from upstairs, going both into the kitchen, and into the parlor. I went up slowly, Duke following behind me, and found four large bedrooms, a door that led to the attic, and a bathroom with a huge, claw-foot bathtub. “Ooooh, baby. Gonna use THAT later.” I decided to sleep in the front bedroom, the one that overlooked the barn. Grabbing my stuff from downstairs, I unpacked and made up the bed with the sheets I’d brought. Once I was settled in, I headed out for a walk with the dogs. I peeked in the barn as we passed it, and saw everything was as James and I had left it. Making a mental note to snag the little stereo on my way back, I continued walking. An hour later, the boys were showing signs of fatigue, so we set back towards the house. I gave them each some water, and made some tea for myself, settling into the cozy chair in one corner of the kitchen to read some of my book. I dozed off, and woke up a couple of hours later, my back aching from sleeping in a contorted position. “All the more reason to use the big bathtub, right doggie?” I asked Fire, who thumped his tail on the hardwood floor, sending up a cloud of dust. “Alright. Maybe I’ll clean first, and THEN soak in the tub.” I found a stash of cleaning supplies under the sink in the pantry, and set to work cleaning the floor of the kitchen. When that was done, the other rooms looked grubby in comparison, so I vacuumed upstairs and down, and then figured I should finish the job, so I scrubbed the bathrooms. “Yup. This? Is totally relaxing,” I grunted as I tried to remove some of the lime scale in the downstairs shower. Finally finished, I replaced the supplies under the sink, and ran the bath upstairs. Taking my book, and the brief Jackson had managed to sneak into my bag, I sank into the hot water, a little moan of pleasure escaping as the heat started to work on my back. Duke padded into the bathroom, letting me know I’d left the door open. He whined softly at me, and I reached a hand out to stroke his head. “What’s up, buddy? Tired from your walk? Why don’t you go downstairs and hang out with Fire, take a nap or something. Go on,” I pointed at the door, and he left again. Forty-five minutes later, I was turning into a prune, and figured I should get out. Pulling my jeans and a hoodie on, I went down and fed the dogs, heating up some soup for myself in the one lonely saucepan I could find. I set my spoon down in the bowl when I was done, and looked around, listening. Other than the dogs’ panting breaths, there was nothing. No sound. No James to yell at me, no Pep to wander in and crawl in behind me in the middle of the night, no boys other than the four-legged kind sitting at my feet. Maybe I could finally get a good night’s sleep. I washed the three items I’d dirtied, and dried them slowly, enjoying the silence. Taking the little stereo upstairs, I plugged it in, in the room I’d chosen as my own. I knew I’d want music later. I passed the attic door again, and decided to take a look. Pulling on my boots in case it was dusty up there, I trudged up the old, worn stairs slowly, flicking the light on as I went. I reached the landing, and was glad I’d worn the boots. The room was huge, and hot. Probably not insulated like the rest of the house, I guessed. There was one small window at each end, but no natural light other than that, and when I stopped walking, I could hear a little scurry, which I quickly identified as a surprised mouse. “S’okay, dude,” I called. “Plenty of room for you and me both. Long as you stay up here, I won’t have to haul out the brie and hide it in a scary trap, okay?” Silence. “Glad we got that sorted.” Wandering over to the far corner where a big work table stood, I ran a fingertip over a pile of books, and then blew on them, waving my hand in front of my face as the dust cleared. A stack of college year books was piled next to that, and farther down on the table were some Christmas decorations. I picked up a fantastically ugly Rudolph, with a broken nose. “Hmmm…looks like I get my love of tacky stuff from your side of the family, Cliffy,” I smiled. Old paintings in broken frames, and small tables that needed mending lined the slanted wall. A few looked to be old family portraits, in black and white. I searched the faces for anything resembling me, and found none. I backed up a little from one of the pictures, trying to tell if it even looked like Cliff, and nearly fell over a trunk. Brushing the dirt off my butt, I crouched down, undid the latch and opened it, sitting back on my heels as I saw what was inside. My eyes fell first to the clippings. Jan or Ray must have collected them, they ran right up to present-day and were held together with a rubber band. I knocked the lid off a shoebox and lifted out a stack of old photos, grinning as I sifted through picture after picture of early-days Met. Dave Mustaine era. And then ones with Kirk, looking all of twelve years old with his wild hair and innocent eyes. Lars, looking ready to take on the world, in his skintight spandex. James, mugging for the camera with four beers in his hands, still a gangly kid, a little unsure, but grinning widely anyway. And Cliff. Smiling like he knew a secret, he had an arm around Kirk and James, while Lars ducked in front. I placed the pictures back in their box, and rummaged through the rest of the contents of the trunk. Posters, ticket stubs, ahaaaa…hello, journal. Bah! Hello, stupid lock on journal. I tossed it back in the trunk and kept looking. A small, hinged metal box with a sticker saying ‘keep out’ caught my attention. Opening it, I laughed out loud as I recognized the contents. “Got a light?” I murmured to myself. As someone who was both a party girl and a bit of a geek throughout university and grad school, I knew both the physical and legal ramifications of smoking cannabis. But no amount of reading or experimenting quite prepare me for the thrill of smoking twenty-year old pot that had belonged to my bass-playing father. I was never good at rolling joints, and the one I’d made was loosely packed, and too big. But I inhaled deeply and sucked the smoke far down into my lungs, smiling as I exhaled. When the first joint was finished, I rolled a second one, tighter than the first. Admiring my handiwork, I lit it, and tried to blow smoke rings, failing miserably. “You’re doin’ it all wrong, angel,” came a soft voice off to my left. Too stoned to be startled, I glanced over at the red-headed figure sitting across the room. “Quick puffs. That’s the key.” As if to illustrate, he blew half a dozen perfect rings in quick succession. “How did…how come…why are you…” I paused, trying to finish a thought. “Hi,” I finally managed to get out. “Hey,” he answered, shooting me a lazy grin. “Are you haunting me cause I’m stealing your stash?” I whispered. He laughed, a low, slow chuckle. “Nah, angel, go nuts, we’re cool. S’good stuff,” he smiled. “Must be if I’m hallucinating from it.” I kept staring at him. The long hair, the worn denim bellbottoms, the plaid shirt with the sleeves ripped off, exposing his Misfits tat. It was a picture I’d seen a thousand times, and here he was, sitting across the room from me, clear as day. He tilted his head at me. “Goin’ a little spacey on me? Thought someone with half my genes would be a little better at handling her substances.” He grinned again, and my stomach jolted. I knew that smile. He looked serious again. “Am I scaring you, angel?” “No,” I shook my head slowly. “How come you keep calling me that? Do you…do you not know my name yet? It’s Charlie.” “It’s actually Charlotte Elizabeth Victoria Tyler,” he mumbled as he lit another smoke. “But that’s the name your other parents gave you. I wanted one of my own. Besides, suits ya.” He laughed as he caught the look I shot him. “It does. You’ve certainly been an angel to Pep, and Sully, and my guys too.” I looked down, confused. “I haven’t been anything remotely close to that with James and Lars. I’ve been horrible to them. I hurt them so much I don’t think they’ll ever forgive me.” “Bullshit,” he said loudly, and I looked up to see him grinning again. “Lars is the most forgiving person I’ve ever met. And Jamie just needs time to realize he needs you. And you need him.” He waved the joint around, dropping ash on the floor. “It’s all very needy with you guys. You’re so alike it’s ridiculous. This pushing away thing you both do, fascinating.” He sucked in a lungful of smoke. “You get that from your mom,” he said, exhaling smoothly. “What do I get from you? Other than the smile,” I said softly. “Which, by the way, I love.” He slumped down a little, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “Lemme see. You’ve got her eyes, and her weird habits – she talked to herself too,” he added, and my eyes widened. “Pretty sure you get the musical thing from me. She couldn’t sing for shit. Or play an instrument. But you owe some of your talent to music lessons from your folks. I just gave you the bare bones of potential. And I gave you the smile. And the metabolism. You need to eat more.” Scooting across the floor, he sat beside me. “Alright, I’m out. Puff and pass, angel.” He inhaled deeply once I’d passed him the spliff, and shot me a grin as he blew out the smoke. “You get that from your mom, too. The thinking loudly thing. I think half of the smoke around here’s comin’ outta your ears. What’s on your mind, angel?” I was silent for a minute. “They miss you,” I said quietly, thinking of James and Lars, and Kirk. “It’s been two decades, and they miss you like it was yesterday.” He nodded. “I miss them, too. I check on ‘em, though, time to time,” he smiled. “They grew up pretty good. But that’s not what’s got you stressin’.” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “It’s just…have you always been able to do this? To see me?” He nodded slowly, tilting his head to one side and shooting me a questioning look. The euphoria I’d felt at seeing him slid away, replaced by sadness. “Then you know. Don’t you.” “Know what?” he said softly, taking another drag. “How much…I hurt everyone. How everything I touch becomes tainted. Hurricane Charlie. Leaving nothing but destruction in her wake.” I glanced over and saw him watching me. “I know it sounds like self-pity, but it’s just the truth. My parents, James, Lars, Sully…I even hurt Pep. Sometimes I think-” I stopped abruptly and held out my hand, waiting for him to pass to me. I took a long hit, and closed my eyes as I exhaled. “Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if Phil hadn’t found me. If I’d just died that night. Bled to death on the side of the road.” I looked at Cliff again and he gestured for me to continue. “James might still be with Fran, Lars would never have gotten hurt and Sully…wouldn’t have been dragged into all this.” He waited a beat, and then broke into that familiar smile. “Your perspective’s a little skewed, angel. Must be kinda hard to see properly down here.” Drawing his legs up, he wrapped his arms around his knees and smiled at me. “You learn from every mistake you make. I’ve always admired that about you, and I don’t think you should have any regrets.” He reached out a hand and I felt the faintest touch of his fingers brushing over my hair. “You’re not a force of nature, darlin’. You don’t destroy everything in your path. You ever stop to think that maybe there’s a reason you’re still standing?” I shook my head slowly. “I’ve watched you since you were just a little kid. You were born strong. And your strength is why you’re still here. It’s what keeps you from being destroyed along with everything else.” “If you were watching…” I looked over at him, and again felt just the lightest touch as he brushed away a tear on my cheek. “I couldn’t do anything, baby. It’s…I couldn’t.” He sighed, and dropped his gaze from mine. “Two decades of watching over you, and that’s the only time I ever got angry. Never felt so helpless in my life. Or afterlife,” he shot me a weak smile. “I wanted to be with you, to protect you, to kill those monsters,” he said softly. “But I couldn’t,” he repeated. “So I watched, and prayed really, really hard that you’d be okay. That someone else who COULD help, would come along. And somebody did.” I looked up, confused. “You prayed? So…you’re the reason I’m still here?” He shook his head. “No.” He took the joint from me, drawing in another lungful. “You are.” He exhaled slowly, watching me carefully. “No regrets, angel. Okay?” I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in. When I opened them again, I heard footsteps on the attic staircase. “Charlie? Honey, are you up there?” Jan’s voice echoed slightly as she came up the stairs. I looked around for Cliff, but he was gone. The metal box was closed and the ‘keep out’ sticker had been peeled off. I still held the blunt in my fingers, and I dropped it to the floor as Jan’s head came into view. She turned when she reached the top, and faltered, her hand going to her chest as she gasped. “Goodness, sweetie. You gave me a fright.” She walked over and crouched down beside me. “You looked just like Cliff, sitting over here. He used to come up here to think, or write. Or smoke,” she raised an eyebrow as she saw the box. “I thought it smelled…familiar, up here.” “Sorry,” I smiled. “I found this old trunk, started looking through it. Got a little carried away with the reminiscing, I guess.” “It’s fine,” she said gently. “You weren’t expecting me. I tried calling, but I know I can never get reception on my cell when I’m out here, so I’m not surprised I couldn’t reach your phone.” She turned and sat next to me. “I reconsidered your offer to spend some time here. I’d like to stay for a few days. If the offer’s still open.” I smiled at her and leaned back against the trunk. “Course it is. I’d love the company.” I glanced over at the small window and the sun was setting. “Holy…crap. What time is it?” “Just after ten,” she said as she stood up and headed towards the stairs. “Shall we have some tea?” “Tea would be great. I’ll be down in a sec.” I watched her descend the steps, and then looked around the attic again. “No regrets, hmm?” I said as I placed the metal box back inside the trunk, and closed the lid, latching it shut. “Thanks, Cliff,” I said to the empty room. “Come see me again sometime, okay?” I flicked the light switch as I left the attic, and thought I heard a voice say softly, ‘night, angel.’ Turning around, I saw no one behind me, and I closed the attic door, smiling as I went downstairs to Jan. We stayed up chatting until well after midnight, and when we finally turned in, she hugged me tightly. “I’m glad you found the trunk, sweetie. Cliff would have wanted you to see all that. And to…enjoy it,” she smiled. “For the record, I’m against drugs. Off the record, I knew that stash was there.” She kissed my cheek and headed to her room. We woke at roughly the same time the next morning, and went for a long walk in the fields behind the house. The dogs were excited to have two of us giving them attention, and Fire especially took a shine to Jan. After lunch, we ventured into the attic again, and took out everything in the trunk, going through it piece by piece. She smiled as she took out the journal, and I was surprised when she managed to get it open without a key. “Here, sweetie. I think he’d be okay with you reading it.” I took it from her, and resisted the urge to read it right then. “Thank you. I think I’ll save it for a while.” She lifted out a photo album, and flipped it open to the middle. I burst out laughing when I saw the picture of Cliff wearing a suit. He looked so adorable, but the pant legs were too short and his athletic socks were visible. “That’s quite possibly the sweetest picture I’ve ever seen of him,” I told her, still laughing. “It was taken at junior prom. Charlie,” she said softly, “look who he’s with.” I looked at the other figure in the photo and felt my breath hitch in my chest. Standing beside Cliff with an arm around his waist, was a short blonde girl, with eyes I’d seen a thousand times in the mirror. My voice came out a whisper. “Is that…” “Yup, that’s Andie. See? You look so much like her, sweetie.” She patted my hand. “You’ve got so much of her in you. She loved to make him laugh,” she sighed. “Used to keep Ray and I in stitches too.” The next thing she took out of the trunk was a worn and faded Misfits tee shirt, much the like one Pep loved to wear. The sleeves had been ripped off, and the hem was frayed. “Do you think it would be okay if I kept this? Aside from the fact that it looks really comfortable, it’d be cool to wear something that he wore.” “Sweetie, you can keep anything you like. Ray and I kept all these things for sentimental value. I’d love to know that you’re actually using them instead of just storing them away somewhere. Lars told me what you suggested about Cliff’s bass, and Ray and I gave him another one. They’re saving one for the next Make a Wish visitor, but the other was auctioned off for cancer research. I think some businessman in France paid something like thirty thousand dollars for it. Ridiculous!” I smiled. “Ridiculous, but for a good cause, hmm? That’s great.” We went through the rest of the trunk’s contents, picking out a few pictures we wanted to frame, and I found another shirt, Dawn of the Dead, that I asked to keep. Around supper time, we shut the trunk and headed downstairs. I wore the Misfits tee over the tank top I had on, much to Jan’s amusement, and we threw together some pizza and a salad. “Did you learn how to cook from your mom? Those casseroles you brought over to my house were amazing. I had several people asking for the recipes. Told them I’d ask my granddaughter,” she winked at me. I laughed. “Good stuff. I’ll get you some copies. Yeah, I learned from her a little, but mostly my dad’s mom, my nanny. She was a great cook. Good with the baking, too. She made the most awesome pies…” My mouth practically started to water at the thought of them. “Strawberry rhubarb was her specialty. Incredible stuff. The only thing she wasn’t so good with was bread. For some reason she could never get it to rise properly. My dad always called it hockey puck bread. Damn hard stuff.” She laughed. “And you? How are your bread making skills?” I held out my hand and tilted it side to side. “So-so. I can make pizza dough, like tonight, and I’ve made bread before, and it didn’t suck, but it wasn’t great.” “Care to learn from the master?” She grinned and raised an eyebrow. “I make a damn fine loaf of bread, darlin’.” “That would be so cool! I don’t really have the stuff for it, though, right now. Maybe…” “Allow me. I’ll be back before the pizza’s ready, and we can start tonight.” She scooted out the door and was gone before I could protest. I finished making the salad and set the little table in the kitchen. Bringing the stereo down from my room, I put on a favorite classical cd, and just as I was taking the pizza out of the oven, Jan walked through the door. “Whew. Took a little longer than expected, but we’re all set.” We ate dinner slowly, and when we’d finished the dishes, she set out all the ingredients, and talked me through the process. By midnight, we had about a dozen loaves. “Um…this is awesome, Jan, but I don’t think the two of us can eat all this bread.” I ripped apart one of the smaller sourdough loaves and ate a chunk. “Oooh, you know what? St. Dominic’s has a soup kitchen, I bet they’d kill to get their hands on fresh bread. Wanna take it by there tomorrow?” She smiled and held up her floured hand for a high-five, then changed it to a fist. “Pound me, dog,” she mock growled at me, and I burst out laughing. “What? Isn’t that right? I’m sure I’ve heard the young men in my neighborhood say that.” Still shaking with laughter, I bumped my fist against hers. “No, no, that’s right. Just sounded a little strange coming from my grandmother.” She smiled and shook her head. “I do love when you call me that, sweetheart. I know it must be weird for you, you already have two grandmothers.” I bit off another chunk of sourdough. “True, but really, a girl can never have too many. My dad’s mom was Nanny, and my mom’s mom was Grandma. What do your other grandkids call you?” She leaned against the counter, thinking. “Well, the little ones call me ‘Gams’ cause they’re not so great with their ‘r’s yet, and the older ones call me ‘Nan’.” She looked slightly uncomfortable. “You don’t have to call me anything other than Jan, sweetie. I wasn’t implying that.” I nodded, trying to keep a straight face. “Honestly? Given that you’ve got the nicest stash of Cubans I’ve ever seen, make killer bread, and don’t lecture when you show up and find me stoned out of my tree? I think I better get as close to you as possible. How’s ‘Grams’ sound?” She grinned. “I like it. It has…substance abuse connotations. I think it suits.” I laughed, and then became serious. “Jan…Grams,” I corrected myself. “I don’t, um, do that very often. Sometimes with Pep, but that’s it. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, and thought it’d be kinda cool to smoke pot that old. I don’t want you to think I have a drug problem or anything. I have a serious addiction to shopping, and a pretty deep love of baseball, but other than that, my list of vices is pretty short.” She started washing the mixing bowls. “Charlie, it’s absolutely none of my business. You’re smart, you’ve got your head on straight, you’re not a pot head, that much is obvious. There’s nothing wrong with a little indulgence now and then.” She dried the mixing bowl and put it down, giving me a pointed look. “Nothing wrong with that at all.” Ohhhh my. “So cigars aren’t the only thing you smoke, hmm?” She smiled. “Ray would occasionally smoke it, it helped a lot with the pain. I’d join him every now and then, and the two of us would wind up all giggly. He had a hell of a sense of humor. I think you must get that from him as well as from your mom. And everything he said was twice as funny when we’d been smoking.” She put the dish towel down. “I don’t do it anymore. It’s too painful to not have him there with me. But I don’t think any less of you for doing it, sweetheart.” I looked at her for a moment, and held out my fist. “Pound me, dog.” The two of us collapsed into laughter, and then finished tidying the kitchen. Jan took the dogs out while I wrapped up the bread to take the next day. I flipped the radio station to hear the sports scores, and Jan came back inside to hear me cursing like a sailor on leave. She waited until I’d finished, and then raised an eyebrow at me. “Hear something you didn’t like?” “Stupid Boston won! Seventeen to one, what the hell kind of score is that? I mean, c’mon! Giambi’s back on his game, even off the juice, and they were THIS close to being first in the division, and now, outta NOWHERE, freaking seventeen to one, and where the hell is the pitching? I mean seriously! I could pitch better than Redding! Come ON! Next thing you know they’re gonna be letting Gordon START! And what was A-Rod doing? Nothing, that was he was doing. God!” I blinked as I realized she’d managed to usher me upstairs. “There, there, Charlie. They’ll win the next one. Johnson’s pitching, and Schilling sucks. Nothing to worry about, sweetie.” My eyes widened. “You like the Yankees? You follow baseball?” She smiled and headed down the hall to her room. “Let’s just say you didn’t get your love of the Bronx Bombers alllll from your dad.” She winked and then closed the door. At seven the next morning, we got into my truck and took all the bread, as well as a ton of canned goods, down to the soup kitchen and unloaded them as Father Sean looked on in awe. “Did you need me to sample any of the bread, a ghra?” he asked as we unwrapped the loaves for the morning shift. I grinned. “Help yourself. Mind, it was made by a Protestant and a lapsed Anglican, so you may be sent to Hell just for eating it.” He sliced off a piece of the white bread and buttered it. “We need tea,” he mumbled wit his mouth full, and started boiling the kettle. A few minutes later, the three of us were in the back part of the kitchen, drinking strong tea and catching up on the last month. “So…let me get this straight. I’ve got TWO non-Catholic Yankees fans in my house of worship?” We nodded, both grinning. “Oh dear.” We stayed for about an hour before heading back to the ranch. Stopping in at a hardware store, we picked up a few cans of paint for the exterior of the barn, which was in desperate need of a new coat. Changing into an old pair of jeans and a very old tee shirt, I plugged in the little stereo and set to work on the primer coat, while Pep’s voice rang out on Wiseblood. At noon, Jan came out with sandwiches and a huge jug of lemonade, and we ate in the shade of the barn, while Fire and Duke raced around chasing birds. I painted for the rest of the afternoon, only stopping when Jan hollered that dinner was ready at six. We made coffee afterwards and popped in a Hitchcock movie, curling up on the couch, blankets tucked up to our chins. “Charlie…” she said quietly, when the movie was almost over. “Yeah…” “If a bird comes to the window? We’re going to leave immediately. Okay?” “Dude…I’m with ya.” We turned in around eleven. The two of us spent the next few days reading, chatting, cooking or baking and I finished painting the barn. On Monday I drove into town to get more groceries, and my cell phone rang just as I was coming back to the truck, loaded down with bags. I caught it on the fourth ring. “’lo?” “Where the hell have you been? I have been calling, Trish has been calling, Woody tried, and Mike fucking emailed you yesterday! I was THIS close to getting on a plane and coming out there to make sure you weren’t dead! You leave me and then I don’t hear from you for five days?” I waited a beat. “Hi, Keenan.” He sighed. “Hi. You okay?” “Yup. Little worried about you, though.” I got in the truck and got comfortable. “What’s up, stressball?” “Nothing,” he said quietly. “Liar,” I said in an equally soft voice. “Talk, darlin’.” “I talked to Het. He told me…” his voice got even softer. “He told me what happened. In Boston.” I felt a huge lump form in my throat. “He wasn’t supposed to. I wanted to be the one to tell you.” I rubbed my eyes. “Fuck, Pep. I’m so sorry.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because…I didn’t want yet another person to be disappointed in me.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “What are you talking about? Disappointed in you? I could never be disappointed in you. I’m five seconds away from tearing Het in two though. All the shit he said to you…fuck, baby. I wish you’d told me while you were here. I hate that you had to deal with that on your own.” “He told you what HE said? Damn.” “Yeah.” He sighed. “And he still stands by it, the fucker. I’m not sure about this best man thing, baby girl. I need to have you there, but I dunno if I can handle having him around too.” I smiled. “I love that you’re concerned, Pep. But there’s no need for it. We can be civil. I promise we won’t ruin your big day, honey. What happened should only concern the two of us.” He was silent. “Please, baby? Don’t let this stress you out. I hurt him, Pep. And I need to find a way to make it right. But I swear-” He cut me off. “You hurt HIM? Did you not HEAR all the shit he said to YOU?” “I heard it. But things seem…clearer now. He’s like me, right? Pushes people away when he’s scared of getting hurt? And I’ve already hurt him, so he’s gonna push me away more.” I waited for him to respond but he stayed quiet. “Pep?” When he finally spoke, his voice was low, and angry. “He knows how important you are to me. He knows everything you’ve been through. Or just about. And he still thinks it’s okay to talk to you like that.” Well, fuck. I knew that tone of voice. “What’d you do, baby?” Trish came on the line. “He hit him. Hit his own best man. Can you believe that? I found the two of them fighting IN THE RIVER.” She whispered to me, “it was actually kinda hot.” I laughed. “James is putting ice on his face right now. Honey, go put some on your hand okay?” she said to Pep. “Hetfield’s got a hard jaw, apparently. Wish you coulda been here darlin’. Two men fighting over you…it’s not something you wanna miss.” “It’s not something I wanna cause. Christ. Things seem okay between them now?” She laughed. “Yeah, I think so. Fist fight sorts ‘em right out. James apologized, said he’d hold his tongue from now on, out of respect to Pep. Pep threatened to do it again if James so much as looked at you funny at the wedding.” She lowered her voice. “I can’t believe he said all that shit. And Lars…God…next time I see that little guy, he’s in for a world of pain.” I laughed. “Aww, you’re so cute when you trash talk.” She giggled. “I try. You sound like you’re doing okay. We were worried when we couldn’t get a hold of you. Wanted to let you know…the wedding’s in two weeks.” My jaw dropped. “Holy crap. That’s soon! Where?” I could hear the grin in her voice when she answered. “Dominican. I said I wanted somewhere hot.” “…wow,” I managed to get out. “That’s incredible. So we’re all flying over there? All the guys? Your family? Who’s going?” “Yup. Everybody. Charlie?” “Yeah. S’up?” “I really am angry with James for the things he said to you, and the way he acted when you were here…but, I gotta tell you. His wedding gift to us? Kinda makes it hard to be mean to him.” I laughed. “What’d he get you?” She sighed. “He’s flying all of Pep’s friends out to the island. First class. And paying for it. I told him my folks wanted to do that, and he just pretty much ignored me. Wait’ll you see where we’re staying, Charlie. I got so excited, I nearly peed my pants,” she giggled. I burst out laughing. “God, girl. Calm yourself! Can you send me a link to the resort? I can stop at home and check email before I head back to the ranch. Two weeks…wow. When are you guys heading over there?” “Ten days. I just wanna be there to arrange some stuff before my folks arrive. I actually wanted to ask if you could meet us there then. Does that work with your schedule?” I smiled to myself. “Yeah, my schedule of doing nothing and hanging out? I think I can fit you in. Send me the link and I’ll book the flight later today. I might even head out there a bit earlier than you, work on my tan.” We hung up after she’d promised to send me the info, and I headed back to the ranch. Jan was thrilled when I told her the wedding plans, and immediately asked to look after the dogs for me. We both headed back into town the next day, and as I hugged her goodbye, she patted my cheek gently. “Have a lovely time, sweetheart. I want to hear all about it when you get back. Just…enjoy yourself, alright? No regrets.” I stared at her, wondering if she knew her son’s spirit had said the very same thing to me. “No regrets,” I repeated. “I can do that.” Five days later, I was packed and on a plane to Puerto Plata. I’d arranged for a driver to pick up at the airport, and I stared in awe as we pulled up to the luxurious resort. The main building looked like an old plantation from the South, enormous, with looming pillars and white shutters. Guest accommodations were separated into clusters of buildings on smaller islands, and I had an entire little house to myself. Once the rowboat attendant had dropped me off, I opened the front door, and sank onto the four-poster bed, gazing around. The ‘hut’, as the attendants called them, was spacious and airy, and I was surrounded by water on three sides. I could see a jet ski, a kayak, and a little sailboat moored at the dock, and wondered how long before James and Pep would start fighting over the jet ski. Hopefully there was more than one. I booted up the laptop that came with the room, and emailed Trish to let her know I’d arrived. Changing into my bikini and a pair of board shorts, I decided to take the jet ski out for a spin. I was halfway to the dock when I heard the unmistakable sound of James’ voice. “Afternoon,” he said quietly. I spun around. “Hi. Didn’t realize you’d be here.” And I’m going to kill Trish for not telling me, I thought to myself. “I only got here this morning. Pep doesn’t know,” he added, reading my mind. “I just wanted to say hello. Let you know I was here,” his eyes narrowed. “So we can start avoiding each other.” I counted to ten silently. “There’s no need to avoid each other, James. I can be civil if you can.” “I’m sure you can,” he sneered. “I’m sure you can act downright friendly. How many people on the island have you slept with so far?” I walked over to him until we were inches apart. “That’s fine, Het. Get it all out now, while there’s nobody around. Cause once everyone arrives? You and I? Are gonna act like best fucking friends. I won’t let you wreck this for Pepper or Trish. This WILL be the happiest day of their lives if I have to tie you to your bed and have Woody stand in as best man.” He started to speak and I held up a hand. “Don’t bother. I remember everything you said in Boston. I’m sure it still stands, so there’s no need to waste your breath repeating yourself. If you’ve got new complaints, I’m sure it can wait til I’ve finished with the jet ski. We’ve got four days til the rest of the gang arrives. Take your time.” I turned on my heel and walked down to the dock. When I returned, an hour later, I found him sitting on my bed, reading Cliff’s journal. I’d left it with a pile of books by my bed. “Where did you get this?” he held it up, looking furious. “Hi, James. Sure you can hang out in here. I don’t mind at all. God. Jan gave it to me, okay? Calm down, Het. It’s not like I stole it. I haven’t even read it yet.” “You shouldn’t have taken it,” he said quietly. “You didn’t even know him. These are his most personal thoughts. Why should you get to have them?” I pulled out the two tee shirts of Cliff’s that I’d brought with me. “Did you want these, too? Do you wanna take back the bass that was donated to charity? Do you want the ranch? Do you want everything he ever had anything to do with, James? For Christ’s sake, you’re not the only one who misses him. At least you had him, for a while. At least you knew him. You have memories, you actually got to spend time with him. All I have is a ghost,” I whispered. “Take the journal. I don’t care. Just…leave me alone.” |
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| Lucifer's Angel | April 20, 2008, 2:55 pm Post #130 |
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Wow, that was great couple of chapters That was so intense, with Charlie relieving that night And Pepper and Trish getting married, congratulations Wow, she saw Cliff's ghost That must've been terrifying and weird, he's a cool guardian angel
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| Mina | April 20, 2008, 3:48 pm Post #131 |
Morgenstern
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Amazing and really really strong chapters I especially loved the bit with Cliff, it was almost heartbreaking... Keep it up, can't wait to read more
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| Broken, Beat & Scarred | April 20, 2008, 3:52 pm Post #132 |
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Ahhhhhhhh. James is an asshole. Totally. Pep is awesome for hitting James. He totally deserved it. And Cliff's ghost, brilliant touch to the story, I loved it. Mrs Deanez is wonderful, I wish my neighbors were like that. And oh my gosh, wedding at a faraway resort..... ![]() |
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| Fade_To_Black | April 21, 2008, 12:22 pm Post #133 |
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Bad Seed
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James is an ass!!!!! I love Pep and Phil!! I kinda wish i were Trish hehe And Cliff......yay.....he rocks!!!!! Cant wait for more, this part coming up is my favourite part...saying nothing more Love this story so much!!!
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| PurpleRose | April 22, 2008, 1:16 pm Post #134 |
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Frantic
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Wonderful updates Can't wait to read more
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| Metalicious | April 24, 2008, 8:21 pm Post #135 |
Blackened
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It's like... two degrees here today. Oh, how I wish I were in the Dominican with James. Sadly, just fictional Charlie is there. It'll have to do. ****************************************************** He stared at me for a moment and then left, walking slowly across the grass to his own hut. I sat on the bed, tracing a finger over the Misfits print on the tee-shirt. “He misses you so much,” I said softly to the empty room. “You should really think about letting him see you, too. I know he doesn’t use any substances anymore, so it’s not like you can sneak up on him when he’s stoned, but…” I sighed. I finished unpacking, and arranged the bedroom so it felt more personal. I littered the surfaces with candles and books, and leaned the two pictures of Cliff I’d brought against the lamp on the bedside table. One of them was an early shot of the band. Jan said she’d taken it the evening of a gig. I considered taking it over to James. “Glutton for punishment, aren’t you, Charlie. AND you’re still talking to yourself.” Still, Jan had given me a full box of photos. James might appreciate having one. And maybe it would help smooth things over. Maybe he’d see he was being a dick, and apologize. Maybe pigs would fly out of my ass. Still, if it was just gonna be the two of us for the next five days, it couldn’t hurt to try. I changed into a sundress and walked over in my bare feet, knocking on his door before pushing it open slowly. He looked up from where he was stretched out on the bed, reading Cliff’s journal. I held up the photograph. “I, um, was at the ranch for a few days. Jan and I went through a lot of his old stuff, and she gave me a bunch of photos, and that,” I pointed to the journal, “and those tee shirts I showed you. But I thought…maybe you’d want this. She said there weren’t any copies of the pictures, so I didn’t think you’d have this one.” I reached the bed and held out the photograph. I wasn’t prepared for him to gently grip my wrist and pull me down to sit by him. “Lemme see,” he said quietly. Shifting so he was sitting up, he took the picture from me, keeping his other hand on my wrist as if he were scared I might flee. He cursed softly under his breath. “Look at us…so fucking young. Feels like this was a lifetime ago.” He sounded sad, and I was worried that my idea had backfired. I tried to stand up to leave, and his grip tightened. “I didn’t mean to upset you, James. I just wanted to give you the picture. I’m gonna go, okay?” I pried his fingers open with my free hand, and stepped back. Turning around, I made it to the doorway before he called my name. “Yeah?” “Thanks for this,” he said, holding up the photo. “You’re welcome.” “Are you, um,” he blew out a breath. “They told me dinner’s at eight. I don’t wanna go alone. Wanna go with me?” He narrowed his eyes. “We can practice being civil.” It almost sounded like a challenge. “Sure. Come get me when you’re ready to go.” I forced a smile and left, walking slowly back to my hut, though I felt like running. He knocked on my door at quarter to eight, and I shouted for him to come in. I finished applying makeup, and checked myself in the mirror. Dinner guests were asked to dress formally, and I’d chosen a long, white silk dress with tiny straps and a very low back. Picking up the pink hibiscus I’d cut earlier in the evening, I tucked it into my low ponytail, and exited the bathroom to find James standing in my bedroom. “You look nice,” I said truthfully. He’d worn loose white linen trousers, and a very thin black sweater over a white tee shirt. And flipflops. He looked down, and then back at me. “You think I’m alright to wear these to dinner?” I couldn’t help but smile. “James, you’re renting half the resort for the next few weeks. You could probably show up wearing nothing BUT the flipflops and they’d let you in.” We walked down to the dock, where one of the staff was waiting in a long rowboat to take us to the main island. The boat ride only last about ten minutes, but it felt like hours. Neither one of us spoke, and I swear James heaved a sigh of relief when we docked at the main pier. He helped me out, and kept hold of my hand as we walked to the back garden, where dinner would be served. There were dozens of torches lit, and a steel drum band was playing on the patio. We were escorted to our table, and I was surprised to see we weren’t sitting alone. Six others places were set, and four people were already sitting around the table. Everyone introduced themselves, and I was sat next to a tall, willowy brunette named Kelly. James started up a conversation with the guy on his right, and Kelly started chatting to me about the island. Apparently this was her fourth time visiting in two years. “I just LOVE coming here, working on my tan, chilling on the beach, you know? It’s just so laid back, and hey, the booze is all-inclusive, right?” I laughed. “I can see the appeal. I got here this afternoon, and I’m already tempted to stay longer than I’d planned.” “Oh my gosh, me too. I’m gonna run to the bar, grab another cocktail before they bring the food out. Wanna come with?” Before I could answer, she’d taken my hand and was pulling me across the lawn to the bar on the patio. “Hi, Fabrizio,” she grinned at the bartender. “Could we get two of those little raspberry numbers you were making before? So,” she turned back to me. “What’s the scoop with you and cutie? Havin’ a hot little getaway?” I shook my head and but couldn’t stop the grin that appeared on my face. “No, we’re here for a friend’s wedding. Just came out early to…work on our tans and chill on the beach, I guess.” “Cool. Girlfriend or guy friend?” “Both,” I smiled as Fabrizio handed me a drink. “Two of my best friends are getting hitched.” I watched as Kelly downed her drink in about five seconds. “And I think you might be my friend’s twin. Holy Moses.” We chatted at the bar for a few more minutes before heading back to the table. Dinner was served shortly after, all six courses of it, and by eleven p.m., I was wondering if I might bust the seams on my dress. I felt James’ hand on my shoulder. “Unless you wanna stay for the dancing, Charlie, we should probably hitch a ride back to our island.” I looked over my shoulder and saw couples slow-dancing on the grass, most of them in their bare feet. I shook my head, and stood up, swaying a little from the handful of cocktails I’d had. I followed James down to the pier, and let him help me into the boat. I didn’t notice I was leaning against him, his arm around my shoulders, until we reached our island and he moved to help me out. I took both his hands and let him lift me out of the boat, depositing me gently on the wooden dock. He tipped the boat guy, and then took my hand again, leading me down the pier. We stopped in front of my door. “You feeling alright?” he asked. “Not too drunk?” I shook my head. “M’okay.” He turned to leave and I reached for his hand. “James?” He turned again to face me, and sighed. “Look, Charlie. Don’t push it, okay? I’m trying to be nice, and just…move on, you know?” I dropped his hand. “Right. I was just gonna say thanks. For being nice. Night, Het.” I pushed open my door and heard him sigh again. “Night, Charlie.” Closing the door behind me, I saw my bed had already been turned down. There was a vase of fresh flowers on the bedside table, and little chocolates on the pillow. There was mosquito netting over the bed, and I pushed it aside to take one of the tiny chocolates. “Don’t push it, Charlie,” I muttered to myself. “Bite me, Hetfield.” I hung up my dress as I brushed my teeth, and put the hibiscus in with the other flowers. “Sooo pretty,” I said softly to the flowers. “But soon, you’re all gonna wither and die.” I stood up, thinking for a minute. “Okay, I might be just a little bit drunk.” I slipped under the covers, not bothering with pajamas. Sleep came quickly, but I woke up a short time later, tears staining my cheeks. “Excellent,” I murmured. “Back to this, are we?” I swatted the netting aside and pulled on a white cami and purple satin shorts. More stuff from Trish’s La Perla trip. Stepping out into the warm night, I walked slowly down to the pier, rubbing my eyes. I reached the end of the dock, and lay down, staring up at the stars. I heard footsteps approaching and tilted my head back to see James heading towards me. Sitting up, I moved over and made room for him beside me. He’d ditched the tee shirt and sweater but was still wearing the linen trousers. Taking a seat beside me, he looked out at the water, and I felt his hand cover my own, his fingers slowly curling under mine. We stayed like that for a while, not speaking, and I eventually leaned against him, resting my head on his shoulder. Several minutes later, I felt myself being lifted, and carried back down the dock. Putting me down on my bed, I half expected him to get in with me. Instead, he leaned over, and kissed the top of my head. I reached out for his hand and squeezed it briefly, trying to say thanks without breaking the silence. He squeezed mine in return and gave me a little smile. I watched as he left, waiting until he’d closed the door softly behind him. “Night, James.” I slept peacefully until almost noon the next day, waking only when James started banging on the door. He stuck his head in the room and rolled his eyes. "You gonna sleep all day?" I pushed the covers back and sat up, stretching. "No...didn't realize what time it was. You heading over for lunch?" He nodded. "'kay. Bring me something back, would ya?" His mouth fell open in shock and I tried not to laugh. "Guess you want me to tag along, huh? Give me five minutes. I'll meet you outside." I changed into a white bikini, and slipped a white cotton sundress over top of it, threw on a handful of chunky silver bangles, and a pair of silver flipflops. I opened the door to find James laying in the wide, flat hammock, his baseball cap pulled down over his eyes. "James..." I nudged the hammock with my knee and it rocked slightly. "James," I repeated, pushing the hammock again. "Hetfield!" "Why would I get up when you're rockin' me to sleep?" he smirked. Pushing his hat up, he got off the hammock and followed me down to the water. I looked around for our rowboat ride, and stepped back from the side of the pier as James jumped into a motorboat. "Picked this up earlier today, we've got it for the week. And that," he nodded his head towards a small sailboat. He held out his hand. "C'mon, get in." I hopped on board, and settled onto the seat beside James, taking a life jacket and shrugging it on. "Laugh it up, jackass," I glared at him as he grinned at me. "You'll be wishing you wore one when we capsize." He shot me another grin and revved the engine, tossing me off my seat as we shot forward. He immediately slowed the boat, and set it to idle as he helped me up. "Sorry," he said quietly, looking genuinely apologetic. "I didn't know it was gonna go that fast." He waited until I was settled again, and we started off again, at a much slower speed. We came around to a different pier than the night before, and James tied the boat before helping me out. Again, he kept hold of my hand as we walked across the lawn. I was expecting to eat outside again, but he led me inside, and down a set of stairs to a large solarium. It was filled with tropical plants, and sunlight was streaming through the glass roof. We sat at a table under a big palm, and a waiter came over immediately with a jug of something fruity and two frosted glasses. As he leaned over to pour, I saw something blue flash at his neck. "Oooh...is your necklace made of blue amber?" I started to point and then felt rude, drawing my hand back. He smiled, and tugged his shirt up a little. "It is. I'm not supposed to wear it at work, but my girlfriend gave me this, and I get yelled at if I take it off." I laughed. "Can't win, can ya. Is there a place nearby that sells it? I'd love to get something similar." "There is, actually. We do a jeep trip along the more, uh, rural parts of the island, and one of the places we stop sells the stuff. I can sign you up if you're interested. Hang on, I'll get you one of the brochures." I sipped at my drink and saw James eyeing me. "You're...really friendly," he said as he lifted his glass. Don't be defensive, don't be defensive, don't be defensive, I chanted in my head. "I used to have a necklace and bracelet set made of the same stuff. I lost them a couple years ago." He raised an eyebrow. "You don't strike me as the type to lose stuff." "Yeah...not so much lost them, as, um, had them torn off me. Pep tried to find all the beads, bless him, but there were too many missing. Dominican's the only place you can get them." He cleared his throat. "Sorry...I didn't know." "Of course you didn't. Doesn't matter, anyway." The waiter came over and gave us each a glossy brochure on the extensive jeep trip around the island, and took our order. I was reading intently when I felt James' hand cover mine. I glanced up and saw he was reading too, not looking at me. "I didn't mean you were hitting on him," he said softly. "I just meant...you're friendly. Outgoing. It seems to come so easily to you, and it's always been something I've had to work at, so I'm envious. That's all." "Okay. I just figure that since we're here for like, three weeks, may as well get to know the staff." He looked up, smiling. "And the chick at dinner last night?" I laughed, thinking of how Kelly had chatted all through dinner. "Yeah, I didn't really have a choice in that. She's cool, though. Seems nice enough. So...you up for this jeep trip later? Looks like fun." "Dunno. Think they'll let me drive the jeep?" I shuddered, thinking back to the boat ride. "I really hope not." He chuckled and folded the brochure. "Yeah, sure, let's go." We asked Pete, our waiter, to put us on the list for the afternoon trip, and he told us to meet the group out front at 3pm. James let me drive the boat back after lunch, and we parted at the dock to go change. I checked my email and found two new messages. One from Trish, asking if the place was as amazing in person as it seemed online, and one from Pep, with nothing written, just a subject line of "I'm gonna fuckin' kill him." Apparently he'd found out James was on the island. I wrote back to Trish and cc'd Pep on it, telling them the island was lovely, and James and I were getting along fine. Exchanging my sundress for board shorts and a ball cap, I went out to lounge in the hammock until James was ready. I found him already there, stretched out like he had been earlier. "Get your sneakers," he advised when he saw my flipflops. "Put 'em in my bag or something," he gestured to the backpack he'd brought. "Pete said we'd need them." I went back inside and grabbed the beat-up pair of sneakers I'd brought. Placing them in James' bag with his, I gave the hammock a push. "Twenty to three, bud. Let's go." He snaked an arm out and clasped my wrist. "How come you get a hammock?" he growled. "My place is bigger than yours and I haven't got one." He tilted his hat up and turned to face me. "I'm stealing it tonight when you're asleep." I glanced down to the base of the hammock and laughed. "Good luck, pal, it's bolted to the porch." He looked over the side and then back at me. "Dammit." We motored over to the main island and joined the group of fifteen or so others waiting beside a big open topped, flat-bed truck. "That is NOT a jeep," James muttered behind me. "Hay wagon, maybe, jeep, no." I saw Kelly approaching, and James put an arm around my waist. Smothering the urge to ask why he was acting so touchy-feely lately when just days ago he could barely stand to look at me, I waved Kelly over and she launched into a description of the jeep tour. This would be her third time going. The driver and two other locals appeared and herded everyone onto the truck bed. I sat between James and Kelly, listening to her chatter about the waterfalls we'd supposedly be climbing up later. The pavement turned into a dirt road, and the truck rumbled along, knocking everyone back and forth. James slid am arm around my shoulders, holding me against him as we drove up a winding hill. The first stop was a sprawling farm with what looked like a jungle gym junkyard in front. "Monkeys?" James asked the driver once we’d all piled out. "Snakes," he replied, gesturing to one of the trees inside the fenced area, where a huge python was coiled, sleeping peacefully. James stepped back, and moved behind me, gripping my shoulders hard. I heard Kelly's unmistakable laugh, and turned to see her holding another of the snakes, resting it across her shoulders while she stretched the rest of its long body down each arm. "C'mere, Charlie, you gotta try this!" she squealed. I pried myself away from James and stood beside her. Our jeep driver lifted the snake off her and instructed me to hold out my arms, placing it across my back and arms. I turned around slowly, and laughed when I saw the look of horror on James' face. "Relax, Het. It won't bite. Sure you don't wanna try this? I could get a pretty cool pic on my digital..." He shook his head, but I could tell he was thinking about it. "C'mon. Doesn't have to be held like this, you could get it wrapped around your arm or something. Make a great picture for the next So What!" He nodded slowly, and the driver lifted the snake off me, and gently eased it around the entire length of James' arm while he held it out straight. I got him to put his other hand on his hip, and convinced him it would look cooler if he actually faced the snake, instead of turning his head away and wincing. He finally relaxed a little and I managed to take half a dozen pictures of him growling at the snake. Once everyone had taken a picture or two with the reptiles, we got back on the truck and continued along the dirt road until we came to a small roadside market. I followed closely behind James, looking for the blue amber jewelry, and finally saw a small collection at the end of a row of stalls. One of the women from our truck was holding up a necklace and bracelet set identical to the one I'd had. My eyes swept over the table and I realized that was the only set. She handed over a small amount of cash and pocketed the jewelry. Turning to head back to the truck, I got spun around again by Kelly. "Look! Aren't these gorgeous?" She held up two sarongs to show me, and led me over to the stall where she'd bought them. I found a dark blue one with a colorful fish print on it, and a forest green one, plain except for a small pattern of white palm trees along one side. We paid, and realized our allocated time was almost up, and hauled ass back to the truck, climbing in beside James. “I looked for that blue stuff you wanted,” he said as we started down the road again. “Some lady took the last of it. But maybe we can find some in the airport or something?” I doubted it, but he was trying so hard to be helpful that I nodded anyway. “Yeah, probably. Hey, waterfalls are next. You goin’ all the way to the top?” He grinned and I cursed silently as my stomach did a little flip. “What do you think?” We hopped off the truck a few minutes later, and almost everyone performed a change of footwear. I looked down at my tummy. “We are STILL mad at him, you know. Don’t go being all flippy just cause he smiles pretty,” I muttered. Looking up, I saw Kelly eyeing me warily, and I grinned. “Sorry. Just briefing my insides not to freak out when I jump off the cliffs later.” She giggled. “Sounds like a good plan. Last time I jumped, my shorts came off, and they got it on video. Nice, eh? Make sure yours are velcroed mighty tight, darlin’.” She linked her arm through mine and we picked up Het on our way, following the rest of the pack. The first half mile of walking was easy enough, over a dirt path and then through some shallow water. We stopped at a large pool of water, and I looked up. Straight ahead of us was a series of waterfalls, cascading down the rocks a few yards at a time. “We’re going…up there?” I asked Kelly. She nodded, and set off to the front of the group. “We’re going…up there. UP the waterfalls.” I double checked this with our driver, who nodded enthusiastically. “Like staircases. We’ll help you, don’t worry.” He took my hand and led me up front, and I glanced behind me, seeing James chatting with one of the other guys on the tour. Placing me beside Kelly, he started up the first waterfall, gripping the rock walls with his hands and magically climbing up. Holding out his hand, he gestured for us to follow. Kelly went first, trying to place her feet where his had been, and he yanked her up the rest of the way. I followed behind, and everyone else seemed to catch on after that. The interesting bit came after the fourth set of falls, when we all had to swim against the current, around a corner. I found myself repeatedly getting pushed back by the current, and flattened against myself against the rock wall, trying to hang on to it while I maneuvered myself slowly along. James appeared out of nowhere, treading water easily as he grinned at me. “Takin’ your time, Tyler? Haven’t got all day, you know. Six more falls to climb.” He turned around and craned his head around. “Get on.” I briefly considered arguing, and decided against it. It was faster to shut up and take the piggy back ride around the corner. Linking my arms around his neck, I kicked my legs out as he swam, and we made it around the corner in seconds. I let go of him to swim over to Kelly and the current immediately started to pull me back the way we’d come. James grabbed the back of my shorts and yanked me against him. “Stay put, Tyler, okay?” he laughed over the noise of the falls. I nodded, spitting out water, and leaned my head back against his chest. We made it up the rest of the falls without incident, and coming back down was a hell of a lot easier. The jeep driver and another fairly large man lowered us down by our arms, and then let go. We came to the last waterfall, the first one we’d come up, and I noticed there was a cliff we could jump off, instead of sliding down the falls. I glanced at Kelly and she nodded quickly. We were three steps away from jumping when James reached out and hauled both of us back. “Going somewhere, ladies?” he growled as he held the two of us in headlocks. “Jump…jumping,” Kelly managed to gasp, and pointed to the cliff. “Without me? That ain’t right.” Letting us go, he took us each by the hand and went running forwards, so we had no choice but to go with him. I held my breath as we went sailing over the edge. It seemed to take an eternity to reach the water, and the impact of hitting it shocked me. I swam up from the depths slowly, finding myself face to face with James when I surfaced. “You alright?” he asked, brushing my wet hair off my face. “Yeah,” I grinned. “I think we should do that again.” He laughed. “I don’t think we have time. Looks like people are heading back to the truck.” We dried off as best we could without towels and walked back to the truck. The final stop was a small restaurant where we’d have dinner. A huge buffet of rice, beans, corn, fried plantain, sweet potatoes and stewed meat was set up at the back, and there was a choice of beer, bottled water, or coconut milk to drink. We piled the food onto our plates and everyone sat around one huge table. I saw James take a large glass of coconut milk and put a hand on his wrist. “Water. Trust me.” He looked at me, confused. “But it’s not…it’s just milk. From the coconut.” I sighed. “Did ya SEE Castaway? When Tom Hanks ate all the coconut and then…ya know?” “Yeah, I saw it. But I don’t…oh.” He grimaced and got up, taking a bottle of water from the cooler instead. Everyone ate slowly, enjoying the simple but delicious food. Roughly an hour later, we piled into the truck again, full and happy, and settled in for the ride back to the resort. The drive took about forty-five minutes, and I felt sleepy by the time we pulled up in front of the giant pillars of the main building. Stifling a yawn, I trailed behind James to the pier where we’d left the boat. We made it back to our island in a few minutes, and I hoisted the bags onto the dock, climbing out as James tied the boat. Dropping my wet sneakers on the porch, he turned to leave. “James?” He turned slightly to face me again. “It’s still kinda early. Do you wanna stay? Hang out? Um…talk, maybe?” He stared down at his feet for a few moments, before looking at me again, and slowly shaking his head. “Not yet,” he said softly. I watched him walk away, and sighed, heading into my little house. I stripped off my shorts and bikini, and took a long, hot shower, lingering under the water until I felt too sleepy to stay upright. Wrapping a towel around me, I stretched out on the bed, wondering if ‘not yet’ meant he’d be willing to talk about things at some point. Soon. I logged onto email briefly, sent a quick note to Mrs. D., and one to Jan, before shutting off the laptop and crawling into bed. Waking a few hours later, I checked the small clock by the bed and saw it was just past one a.m. Feeling wide awake, I dropped the towel on the floor and wrapped the blue sarong around me instead, slipping out the front door. I didn’t see James at the end of the pier until I’d almost reached him. “Can’t sleep?” he asked quietly. I shook my head. “Wake up crying again?” “Yeah. No.” I sighed. “I dunno.” “Got somethin’ that might cheer you up.” He held out his hand, and dangled the blue amber necklace in front of me. “She wouldn’t give up the bracelet, but I harassed her into giving me the necklace.” He leaned over and fastened the blue beads around my neck. “Thank you,” I looked at him, running my hand over the necklace. “What’d you have to sign to get this?” “Nothing,” he grinned. “I don’t think they have sharpies in the Dominican.” He rested an arm across my shoulders, pulling me against him slightly. I closed my eyes, listening to the water lap at the dock, and eventually dozed off like that. I woke to James putting me down on my bed like he had the night before, holding my head up as he undid the necklace. “Probably not comfy to sleep with this on,” he said, putting it on the table next to my bed. I looked up at him, trying to figure out what the hell was going on behind those eyes. He brushed his lips over my forehead, and I closed my eyes, opening them again when I felt the faintest touch of his mouth on mine. “James…” I put a hand on his arm. “We need to talk.” “I know,” he murmured, kissing the top of my head. “But not yet.” He walked to the door, glancing over his shoulder when he reached it. “Night, Charlie.” “Night, Het.” |
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![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
Poor Charlie




That was so intense, with Charlie relieving that night
Wow, she saw Cliff's ghost
That must've been terrifying and weird, he's a cool guardian angel


And Cliff......yay.....he rocks!!!!! Cant wait for more, this part coming up is my favourite part...saying nothing more

8:39 PM Jul 10