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| Never Walk Alone; Sequel to Black Friday Rule | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 13, 2008, 10:14 am (47,717 Views) | |
| Verity | September 30, 2008, 10:23 am Post #706 |
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The Story Girl
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That chapter was very well written Vanessa. You rock big time. I think that even though Avery is a "cool mom" her outburst is very very realistic. Your daughter banging a dude who's old enough to be her dad is a hard pill for anyone to swallow. Avery seems very human in this and I like that quality. I had a friend who used to date a guy who was 22 years older than her. The guy was nice and everything, it was hard for her family not to like him because he was so nice, and they treated him civilally, but I don't think that they ever fully accepted him because there was such an age gap. He was actually a young looking 44 year old, and they were a cute couple, but sadly she got tired of him and left him for a younger dude. I think she was only 22 at the time. I know that Kitty would never do such a thing to Dave, she's a lady. Her reaction towards her grandfather made me laugh. Actually, it might be the grandfather dude who might talk to Avery and get her to accept Dave some more. That chapter rocked!
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| maisy blue | September 30, 2008, 11:45 pm Post #707 |
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Some Kind Of Monster
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Wow, loved Kitty's outburst at her grandfather! That was funny- it's rare to see her so "unrefined!" I'm glad Avery is open to Kitty and Dave's relationship. If I ever said the words "blow job" anywhere near my mom, she'd probably pass out. Avery is a cool mom. |
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| Lucifer's Angel | October 1, 2008, 9:44 am Post #708 |
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Chapter 189 "I guess it turned out all right, your family didn't kill me", he chuckled. Catriona cradled his head in her lap and stroked his hair, as they cuddled on her bed. "I suppose. I don't blame Mom for getting upset, at least she didn't blow a gasket. But you ought to be on your best behavior, and I hope my uncles don't kill you", she said dryly. "It won't be the first time", he joked. They were in her room, resting. Avery had cooked spaghetti and meatballs, and they had spent the evening talking with her family. "I can see where you learned to cook, Miss Kitty. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree", he said, putting her hand to his lips. "Thank you, Dave. I do hope that Grandpa and Mom stop this cold war, it gives me the creeps", she said, making a face. "Yeah, he doesn't seem too bad. And he is one old dude, he doesn't act like an ogre", he replied. "Shane says the same thing. He said he wanted to kick his ass, but he's a frail old man. My grandmother was a bitch, though", she scowled. "My dad was a drunken loser, I know he's dead, but I'd probably beat the shit out of him if were still around", he growled. "I heard about that on Behind the Music, damn", she said, embracing him. They snuggled against each other on the bed, feeling the warmth of each other's bodies. Everyone else had long since gone to sleep, the black sky revealed through the window. Dave felt her relax in his arms, gently running his fingers though her auburn hair. He had to smile when he saw the giant teddy bear with the Megadeth shirt sitting in the corner. I can't believe she still has that, he thought, closing his eyes as he turned off the light. The spirit entered the room, looking at the figures on the bed. Cliff felt a lump in his throat when he saw his daughter asleep in Dave's arms. They snuggled against each other, his arms around her waist and her face buried against his shoulder. Kitty, she looks so happy, he thought, a smile forming on his lips. Cliff had been following his daughter, since he died. He had felt so proud when she joined the band, when they got their deal and put out their first album. At first, he had liked Andrew and thought they were in love. He had misgivings about the menage a trois, but he trusted her. Now seeing her with Dave, he could feel the love and passion between them. This is hard to believe, my daughter with Mustaine. But he loves her, I can feel it, he thought. Rhiannon had taught him how to look into people's minds, so he could see their thoughts. Andrew had been so good at hiding his thoughts, he couldn't see them, but Dave was more open. Cliff peered into his mind and saw that while he was thinking about Catriona, he was also worried about his kids. I don't like his ex-wife or her weasel boyfriend either. I do hope they don't hurt Kitty or the kids, they're good kids, he mused. He looked outside the window and saw Rhiannon waiting for him. She floated outside the window, clad in a gossamer white gown with her golden hair loose. Cliff took one last look at his daughter and followed her. "Is he a good man, Cliff?", she asked. "Yeah, even if he's Mustaine. I couldn't see Andrew's thoughts, but I can read Dave, he loves her, but he's also worried about his kids. I don't like his ex-wife or that boyfriend of hers", he growled. "That is terrible, Cliff. We must head back to Annyn, it is late", she said, taking his hand as they slowly dissolved. |
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| Verity | October 1, 2008, 10:07 am Post #709 |
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The Story Girl
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That was a good chapter Vanessa! You write the emotional parts so well. I'm worried too about Dave's ex and the kids. Or even if Andrew gets pissy at Kitty he might come forward about the whole menage a trois and then ruin Dave's custody. Anywho, I'm on pins and needles waiting to see what's going to happen. Cliff sure took the entire daughte- banging-his-old-friend thing a lot better than my old man would have. I love this fic!
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| lolo | October 1, 2008, 10:27 am Post #710 |
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ex - thur - minate
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I always get goosebumps when cliff pops up, It is really nice to see that he watches over them, and that he sees the Dave truly loves Kitty. It was a really nice chapter
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| maisy blue | October 1, 2008, 11:14 am Post #711 |
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Some Kind Of Monster
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I love when Cliff shows up. I wish Kitty and Avery and Shane knew how often he was a part of their lives... |
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| Taimi | October 1, 2008, 1:06 pm Post #712 |
Junior OSA Council member
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I concur |
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| Lucifer's Angel | October 2, 2008, 9:32 am Post #713 |
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Chapter 190 "Catriona, may I speak to you in private?", asked Natalya. She looked up from her computer, smiling at her. "What is it, Natalya?", she asked. "It is girl stuff, tak?", she said, her blue eyes darting around nervously. "All right, let me make some tea", said Catriona, logging off. Just then, Shane emerged from the bathroom. He smiled when he saw his girlfriend, kissing her cheek. "Good morning, ladies. How are my favorite girls doing?", he asked gallantly. "We are fine, Shane. We are going to have a bit of girl talk, nie? Why don't you keep company with Mr. Mustaine?", she suggested. "Good idea, lalka. I don't want to hear chicks talk about their periods anyway", he joked, going downstairs. Shane was surprised to see Dave already up. He had a mug of coffee in front of him on the table and a laptop open, checking some email. "Good morning, dude", he said. Dave looked up and smiled at him. "Good morning to you, Shane. Where's Kitty?". he asked. "Her and Natalya are having a girl talk. Like I wanna hear girls talk about their periods", he joked, pouring himself some coffee. "Your mother and her folks went out, they'll be back in time for lunch", said Dave, checking on the Megadeth website. Shane sipped his coffee and looked at Dave. He wore jeans and Hard Rock Cafe' shirt, his red hair loose as he typed something. "Dude, are you really banging my sister?", he blurted out. Dave chuckled. "That sounds like something Cliff would have said. Yes Shane, your sister and I are sleeping together. Surely you and your girlfriend do the same thing", he teased. "Of course, it's just that she was with Andrew and now you. Of course, Kitty's not a slut, but it feels weird", he replied. "I gotcha. I'd be upset if my daughter dated a much older guy. You're a good kid, Shane", he said. "What is it, Natalya?", she asked, closing the door behind them. Natalya took a deep breath, her fingers clutching onto the hem of her skirt. "Catriona, I think I have missed my period, I didn't get it this month", she whispered. "How are you feeling?", she asked gently. "I do not feel good in the mornings, and my breasts are tender. I think I am pregnant", she said. "We'll get kit to make sure. Congratulations, Natalya", she said, embracing her. "I hope Shane is not going to get mad, we are not married. And I don't want Papa mad at me", she whispered. "Shane is going to be thrilled, Natalya. And I'm sure your father will want a grandchild", she replied. "But we are not married, Catriona. My cousin Angelika, when she got pregnant, her boyfriend became angry and beat her, she almost lost the baby. He was angry because he did not believe the child was his, my uncle beat him badly", she said, a hint of pride in her voice. "Shane is nothing like that. That guy deserved to get his ass kicked. Let's go to the drugstore and get a kit to make sure. Shane is going to be a dad, and I'm going to be an aunt", she sighed. Several hours later, they arrived back from the drugstore. Shane and Dave were busy playing Resident Evil, so they were able to go upstairs unnoticed. "Okay, you piss on this thing and wait", said Catriona. Natalya took a deep breath and went into the bathroom. She emerged several minutes later, her heart pounding in her chest. "Now we wait ten minutes", she said, giggling nervously. Ten minutes later, Natalya went into the bathroom. She closed her eyes and picked up the stick, taking a deep breath and opening her eyes. "Moj Bog, it is positive", she whispered. |
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| Verity | October 2, 2008, 10:16 am Post #714 |
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The Story Girl
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Wow! What a surprise. I didn't see that coming. You're the mistress of cooking up surprise and suspense in your stories Vanessa. I can understand Natalya having mixed feelings because she is very young. I hope Shane will act responsibe. That's great that Natalya can trust Kitty about things like that. That's one thing that my mom and I have always had a good relationship about is being able to talk openly about sex. She knew when I went off to college and started having boyfriends and shit, that I'd be doing that kind of stuff and instead of freaking out about it and shit she got me on birth control. My mom is just crazy that way. She'd got balistic if I ever got a tattoo or dyed my hair blue, but she never had any qualms about me bringing boyfriends home and having them spend the night in my room with me. I know, it doesn't really make sense. I think that Kitty will be a big sisterly and even motherly help towards Natalya, especially since Natalya's mother is dead. I think this will really help the 2 girls bond. I'm glad that Kitty is there for her. Rock on! :horns2 |
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| Cinnamon Girl | October 2, 2008, 6:42 pm Post #715 |
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Bad Seed
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Hi, I'm new on Metallichicks but I wanted to tell you that I really love your fan fiction. Your stories are great.
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| Taimi | October 2, 2008, 6:54 pm Post #716 |
Junior OSA Council member
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this is turning out really good, Vanessa. Natalya's pregnant didn't see that one coming, Kitty's turn next
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| maisy blue | October 2, 2008, 8:23 pm Post #717 |
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Some Kind Of Monster
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Wow! That was unexpected. I'm anxious to see what Nat's dad is going to see because he seems so formal. Wow- great unexpected twist! Glad to see Shane and Nat back in focus in the story. |
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| lolo | October 3, 2008, 4:15 am Post #718 |
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ex - thur - minate
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ooh she's pregnant..I hope shane treats her well, But kitty will probably kick his ass if he doesn't. I'ts pretty cool to see that Shane and Dave are getting along
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| Lucifer's Angel | October 3, 2008, 9:26 am Post #719 |
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Chapter 191 After dinner, when the dishes had been cleared, Natalya stood up and cleared her throat. "I have very good news. Shane, you know I have not been feeling well, tak? I took a test this afternoon, I am pregnant", she whispered. Shane's eyes widened in delight, his cup slowly loosening from his grip as it fell to the floor. A slow smile formed on his lips, his eyes dancing with delight. He went over and grabbed her, taking her into his arms and embracing her tightly. "For real? Awesome. I love you, baby doll", he said, kissing her fiercely. "Congratulations, you two. Natalya, your father is going to want to know when is the wedding", chided Avery. "Well, we leave in a month, there's no time unless we go to Vegas. Let me think about it", he said. "Shane, are you proposing marriage?", she teased. He blushed at her words. "Uh yeah, I guess. Sorry I don't have a ring, but Natalya Agnes Stankowski, will you marry me?", he asked, getting on his knees. "Tak, of course Shane", she giggled, kissing his lips. Dave put his glass to his lips to stifle his laugh. This is the weirdest proposal ever, but it's great she said yes. I hope when I propose to Kitty, it'll be more romantic. Damn, did I just think that?, he wondered. Avery emerged from the kitchen with a box. She opened it to reveal a skull ring with a pearl in it's mouth. "Here is a ring, Shane. Your father would have wanted you to have it", she said. Shane took the rings and placed it on her finger. The silver skull ring looked huge on her slim hand, but it seemed oddly appropriate given he was Cliff's son. "I like it, this was your father's?", she asked. "Yeah, Dad collected skull rings. Mom's wedding ring was a skull ring, too, I guess it's a family tradition", he joked. Just then, there was a knock on the door. Avery got up from the table and answered it. Andrew was on the other side, holding a bouquet of red roses. He wore jeans and a Judas Priest t-shirt, his black hair falling in gleaming waves to his shoulders. "Hello madam, may I speak to Catriona?", he asked. She heard his voice and came forward. Catriona glared angrily at him, her hazel eyes blazing with fury. "Andrew, go fuck yourself", she snarled. "Kiska, it was only one time. A lot of these girls, they are very persistent, nyet?", he chuckled. "Andrew, that was the third time I caught you. Get lost", she growled. Dave glared at his nephew. "Andrew, what the fuck were you thinking? You had to cheat on Kitty with some groupies, huh? You heard her, it's over", he snarled. Andrew's eyes grew cold, the green color like frozen ice. "Very well then, kiska, Uncle Dave", he said calmly, leaving the house and slamming the door behind them. "Damn. Kitty, if he shows up again, I will kick his ass", growled Shane, cracking his knuckles. "I hope it won't come to that, Shane. Let's not let that dampen the celebration", she said, as they went back to the dining room. |
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| Verity | October 3, 2008, 10:42 am Post #720 |
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The Story Girl
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I despise Andrew. What a piece of shit. How dare he show up. I hope that's the last of that scum bag. I laughed at Shane's proposal. I could just see it going down like a scene from a comedy movie. I must admit that I thought the same thing that Dave did about it being unromantic. Kitty needs to give her lil brother some lessons about being romantic to women. I think that Dave's proposal will definitely be more romantic. I hope that the skull ring fits on Natalya's hand. Even if it looks huge, hopefully it will fit though. Good thing it wasn't me because my ring size is 4. My wedding rings all had to be sent away and resized for me. Can't wait for more of this!!! You rock Vanessa! |
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![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
I think that even though Avery is a "cool mom" her outburst is very very realistic. Your daughter banging a dude who's old enough to be her dad is a hard pill for anyone to swallow. Avery seems very human in this and I like that quality.




Anywho, I'm on pins and needles waiting to see what's going to happen.

I know, it doesn't really make sense.
didn't see that one coming, Kitty's turn next

8:38 PM Jul 10