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| I'm The One Who Waits For You...; Metallica, Iron Maiden, James/OFC | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: November 24, 2009, 5:26 pm (66,455 Views) | |
| namenlos | May 25, 2011, 6:53 am Post #796 |
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The Daft To Your Punk
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The only thing I'm worried about is the twins.
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| Olyamet | May 25, 2011, 4:41 pm Post #797 |
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Jäger.....
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Thanks girls! Love you! Okay, here is the second part of that update. (Kat's POV) Chaos swallowed me. Screams and gasps filled the air but were silenced by the last desperate horns of the barge. I watched in horror as the little boat was rammed by the side of the large ship. People started running to the pier and the loud crack was followed by a blood chilling scream of some woman. I saw Nicholas' boat lean to the side, quickly sinking into the water, and froze with the phone in my hand, unable to speak. I breathed in when I saw Nicholas climbing on board the sinking vessel and vanishing below the surface. The boat's nose slowly dove down, water rising over board and I gasped, feeling my heart jumping somewhere in my throat. No... please, faster... please save them... “Please save my brothers!” My insides squeezed a scream, leaving me breathless, and I dropped the phone, racing to the end of the pier. At the last moment I saw Nicholas throwing something bright orange into the water, two small bodies jumped down from the raised stern and I held my breath, waiting for the heads to emerge above the water. The little boat continued to sink, quickly vanishing into the abyss. A few people with life jackets in their hands jumped off the barge and a man next to me jumped on his motorboat and sped up, steering in the direction of the swimmers. I saw three dark heads above the water, and my body felt heavy, letting go of the tension as my knees gave up. My shaking hands held onto the tie poll and I slid down, shaking with tears. Oh, thank God... they're saved... One woman came to me and tried to pick me up. “Sweety, don't cry, they're okay, everyone is safe, no one got hurt.” I covered my face with my hands and weeped out loud. “It's all my fault... I almost killed my brothers... it's all my fault...” “They're okay, it was just an accident...” “No.. I untied the boat... it's my fault...” I swallowed and moved closer to the pier tie poll, pulling my legs closer and lowering my face into my knees. It's all my fault... I put everyone in danger... all my fault... Multiple emergency lights lit the pier and loud sirens flooded everything around. People running, people screaming, I saw my brothers stepping off the boat, firefighters wrapping them in blankets, and carrying them to the ambulance. Police started questioning bystanders... I saw Nicholas' face... pale and angry... he glared at me and turned away when someone handed him a blanket... someone patted him on the shoulder... I whispered 'thank you' but my voice drowned in the screeching noise of tires. I saw Mom's worried face, Dad by her side, both running to the ambulance. I stood up, my legs shaking, and saw Ray making his way to the Nicholas with two officers at his side. One said something and stepped behind Nicholas, pulling his arms back and I saw handcuffs. No! I ran through the crowd, pushing people away and screaming. “No! He didn't do anything, it was my fault! He saved them! Don't arrest him! I planned all this, it's my fault!” Everyone turned to me and I felt someones hands pulling me aside and sweeping me into a hug, another pair of hands almost pulled me up in the air. Dad's voice was right by my ear. “Kat! Oh.. God...” Mom's lips on my wet face. “Oh, thank God you're okay!” I looked up and saw my mother's worried face, eyes swollen from crying, all because of me... I swallowed my guilt and whispered. “I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Nicholas didn't do anything, don't let them arrest him.” I fought against my parents' arms and they let go of me. I stepped toward Ray and he lowered himself on one knee in front of me. “Now's the time for the truth... and if you wish to talk in private, we can do that. If you have something to say, anything at all, anything you want to keep private, I can promise you, I can help.” I sighed and lowered my eyes. “I asked Nicholas to help me to run away... I didn't plan to take the twins... it just happened... it's all my fault... I planned all this... I should be the one arrested... I didn't want to let Nicholas take us back and I untied the boat... we started arguing and it floated away... I'm sorry... it's all my fault...” Mom lowered herself to me and looked into my eyes. “No... it's my... it's my fault, I'm a bad mother... I should've spent more time with you... I should've felt that you're unhappy--” “Mom, it's nothing like that! I love you and you're the best mother ever! I have the best family, the coolest one, a family where everyone loves each other! I am happy!” “Then... why did you do it?” I hugged my mother, shaking with tears and feeling my father's hands on my shoulders, I sighed again and whimpered. “I run away to help my family.. I thought... if you worried together, you would forget about the fighting... I didn't want you to get a divorce...” My tears choked me and I started to sob. “Oh... hunny...” Mom pressed my head to her chest, hugging me tighter, but I pulled away and looked into her eyes. “Tell me... please, tell me you're back together..” Dad's hands moved off me and he stepped behind Mom. “Kat, you can't do that, you can't bully your Mom into a decision that's not yours to make! You can't manipulate people like that! You're so f--” He stop, taking a deep breath. “You're grounded... you're grounded for--” “I don't care if you ground me for life! As long as you're back together, I don't care!” |
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| Harvester of Sorrow | May 25, 2011, 4:52 pm Post #798 |
Some Kind Of Monster
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PHEW, everyone's fine! James wasn't comprehensive, but I guess it's justified with the whole shock they went through. Still, I'm hoping for their reconnection! Loved it, as always
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| Lenne13 | May 25, 2011, 7:51 pm Post #799 |
Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand!!
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Oh...I almost cried .... You make me go down in history with your words .... that's why I love what you write ... How many people have that gift? Well .. All seem fine ... But James and Angel aren't together (yet). Does the whole plan of Kat was in vain? I'll wait for more.... Thanks for the update Olya!
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| Lilith | May 25, 2011, 8:23 pm Post #800 |
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♥ Jaimelicious ♥
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*breaths* My heart stopped when the boat sank. Thankfully they're fine. I wonder if Kat's plot will work all the way through.
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| namenlos | May 25, 2011, 10:54 pm Post #801 |
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The Daft To Your Punk
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Oh... so glad everyone's ok! But it doesn't sound like James and Angel will be getting back together...
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| Izzy | May 27, 2011, 7:26 pm Post #802 |
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Outlaw Torn
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Phew!! The kids are all safe and are now reunited with their parents. However, I cannot help but think that Kat's plan was all for nothing, James and Angel don't seem to be getting back together anytime soon.
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| Olyamet | May 30, 2011, 1:38 pm Post #803 |
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Jäger.....
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Thanks girls! Love you so much! Here is more, it's kind of long.... hope you like it. *bites nails* XXXXIII. If That's What It Takes. (James' POV) After taking the kids to the hospital to make sure they were okay, we finally got back home. Everyone seemed to be in a happy mood, but despite the fact that the day was over and everything got settled, and the kids were well off in their dream land, none of our friends were in a hurry to leave our house. The girls decided to cook and took over the kitchen, while the guys scattered all over the house, pretending to be busy putting everything in it's place after the police, but I knew that all of them were waiting for the same thing. I could read the question in their eyes, the question I was asking myself, Kat's question which Angel never answered... We were together in pain and fear, she was in my arms, we were as one, I felt it... but now... I was lost once again. Not sure what to do and how to act. The kids were safe, back in our lives, the fear was gone, but the pain, a different pain returned. The pain that was there from the day Angel left me... the suffocating fog that was a part of my life without her surrounded me once again... torturing me... killing me... My heart was tearing itself with the antagonistic feelings. On one side I wished nothing more than a second chance with my love, but on the other side I couldn't help but feel that it was wrong, it was cruel, to force Angel to make a decision right now. I wanted for her to take me back, I wanted it more anything in the whole world... but not like this. And this whole turmoil of feelings leaked out in the form of lyrics, which I wrote down while we were waiting in the hospital. I slid my note on Angel's nightstand when we came home, hoping she would find it later... hoping she'd read it... hoping... just hoping...Words slowly floated in my mind. Set sail to sea, but pulled off course by the light of golden treasure. How could he know this new dawn's light would change his life forever? How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go? Searched the sea of gold, how come it's got so cold? How can I be lost? In remembrance I relieve. And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive? Forgive me.... forgive me not... forgive me... I tried to make sense of my feelings and my thoughts, but was constantly interrupted, responding to the shallow and false conversations about stupid things. I decided to step out in the back yard and think in the privacy of my favorite part of the garden. Lost in my thoughts, I slowly made my way and following the winding walkway to our tree. I slid my fingers on the rough bark and rested my forehead on it's trunk, whispering. “I don't know what to do... I want to talk to her, but I don't want to cause more pain... I feel so lost... I'm hurting so much... I can't dare to hope... but hope is all that's keeping me alive...” I don't know how long I stood there, just me and the apple tree, in the quiet and empty garden, before small steps behind me made me turn. I saw Angel standing on the walkway with my note in her hand, she looked at me and stepped back. “James... I... I didn't know you were here... I wanted to get away from the house... and... I... I'll just go...” “Please stay...” She looked at me and I read 'I'm not ready' in her eyes. I know... I'm sorry... I'll try not to... She made one unsure step back and I felt my heart being pulled with her. No... please stay... I need you by me... She looked down and was ready to turn. No.. don't... I need so say something... anything... Please... I won't start the talk you're not ready for, just stay with me... please... I miss you so much... don't go... “It got so big...” I moved my hand on the tree and held my breath. Angel looked back at the house, then hid my note in her pocket and stepped closer to the tree, sliding her left hand on it's trunk. “I remember when we planted it...” “When we got married...” I moved my hand on the tree just a few inches away from Angel's, and the white line on the skin on her ring finger painfully echoed in my heart. I unconsciously moved my other hand to my chest, feeling her ring on the chain on my chest. “It was in the autumn, rainy day... I kept digging the hole and the dirt kept sliding back in...” “You said you hated that fucking tree, but in the winter we found peeled bark on the bottom of the trunk, and you were so mad. You waited all day with a bee-bee gun by the tree to shoot the intruder, and when a small rabbit showed up and you couldn't help it and said 'Aaawwww, he's so cute!'” Angel turned to me with a fade smile on her face. “And you started to make fun of me... saying that a big scawwy man likes a small baby wabbitt...” I dared to smile back. “And you decided to prove yourself manly and tried to shoot it, but I got a hold of the gun, and you ended up shooting yourself in the leg... and then made me promise not to tell anyone how it happened, so we told everyone it was a hunting accident.” My wife's smile grew bigger. “And you never sold me out...” I looked into her eyes, feeling my heart trembling in my chest. “And a few months after that a big storm went through and we were so worried that our tree wouldn't survive.” She turned away, sliding her hand over the old scar on the tree trunk. “Yeah... it broke, but we taped the crack and it lived...” I moved my hand closer to Angel's. “Not only did it live, but it grew apples. It looked so funny... it was so small and apples were just covering it... you even had to put a brace against the branches...” Her hand froze in place, right by mine. “And then we tried the apples and they were so sour... but we loved them, because we grew them... and we force fed them to our friends and they were all making faces, saying they were the worst apples ever...” I cackled, remembering the past. Angel's turned back to me, and the fog of my pain rendered, pushed away by her smile. “And the next year I was waiting for you to come back from tour and didn't touch them, and then we found out that we just picked them too early the first time, and they weren't ready...” “They tasted so good ripe and there were so many of them, you made your first apple pie, and you were so proud that it came out tasting amazing... and so mad at me because I told everyone it was made from our apples and no one would try it..” I looked into my love's eyes, feeling her pain fading away, replaced by happy memories. “And you were so happy that your evil plan worked and the pie was all yours...” She turned, bracing her back against the tree, and smiled again. “So the next year, you made it again and you said you bought the apples, and when I saw Bruce eating my pie I was so mad...” My hand neared her shoulder, but stayed on the bark, not daring to move closer. “You looked like two lions fighting over it! I almost heard you both growling at each other... then he grabbed the plate and ran and you chased him all over the house, screaming: 'I'll fucking kill you!'” Angel giggled. “That helped, he gave it back! He knew better, that little fucker!” I snorted. “And the next year the word spread, but you were sitting in the kitchen waiting for it to cool off, guarding it... so Steve had to pretend that he couldn't turn the outside hose off to lure you away, and Lars and Bruce stole the pie and locked themselves in the guest room, dividing it... and you almost broke the door...” Angel laughed, moving her head on the trunk and her hair slid over my skin, sending a hot flash to my heart and making it beat faster. “So the next year you put two pies on the table, and when I was about to start my fight, you took my hand and pulled me here to this tree and there, on that cross of branches was a plate with a my own pie...” I looked up the tree, and when my eyes came back to Angel's face, her eyes were peering into mine and my body shifted forward, pulled in by her gaze. “And we shared it, sitting right here under our tree...” Her breath touched my skin and I almost gasped when her hand landed on my chest. The warmth from her touch sent a small charge of tingling fireworks through me, and my heart speed up, ready to jump out of my chest. “I miss you James.. I miss us... I can't live like this anymore... I'm not... I can't forgive you... I don't know if I ever will...” “Angel...” “No... let me talk... please let me just say everything that's in here...” She pressed her hand to her chest. “I need to say it... I need to get these feelings that are eating me alive from the inside, this pain that turned my heart into a bleeding black hole... that blinded me, I was so consumed by it... I couldn't even see that I was hurting everyone around me.That I hurt my kids. I hurt Jason... I know everyone in the house is waiting for my decision... and I know what decision they're all hoping for... but...” She breathed in and looked back into my eyes and I swallowed, feeling my heart raising up into my throat. “I am mad at you, I'm mad at you for hurting me... and I'm mad at myself because I can't stop loving you... I'm mad at myself because I missed you and I want you back... but I can't trust you, James... I know that in your mind, all this doesn't make any sense... I can't explain it better... I just... you were everything to me... you were my soul-mate, my love, my world... we told each other the deepest, darkest secrets, we trusted each other... we never lied to each other... and now... now I can't help but question our life together... question what else you lied about...” “Angel... I never...” “I'm not finished yet. I just don't know how to explain it better... explain what I feel... explain this torture inside of me... I need you to understand me... I need you to feel what I feel...” Angel hit the back of her head on the tree trunk and breathed in, closing her eyes. I saw a tear running down her cheek and bit my lip, desperately trying to hold my own tears, swallowing the lump in my throat. Green eyes slowly opened, pulling me in as she continued. “I married a rocker, knowing what kind of life you live. I live it too. I've seen all those tearful scenes, I never wanted to become one of those women who dated or married my boys. I didn't wanted to become one of those women who tried to hold their men on a short leash, following them on tour, watching them, guarding them. I gave you a free will, thinking that you'd make your own decision. I never wanted to sound like those women... making scenes over something that I thought was nothing more that a jerking off with the help of some whore. I thought it was nothing... I knew it was nothing... I didn't want to make you lie to me... but you did anyway... and that is what hurt me the most... I don't know why you chose to lie, but I know you, and I know that in your mind the truth was worse than the lie... maybe one day you will tell me... but not now... I can't take it now...” Angel sighed, looking down and cleaning away her tears. When she looked back at me, my heart sunk, seeing her eyes darken. “You married a rocker too. I have all that you have. We're equal. I have my fans following me, dreaming, drooling, ready to fulfill my every wish, ready to serve... ready to be used... I can take my pick out of thousands... just like you.” Angel's words brought vivid pictures into my mind and I felt deep pain in my chest, like someone was gripping my heart with sharp claws. You have no idea how many times I thought of that... you have no idea how those thoughts tortured me... how I drank myself numb to stop them... My hands gripped at the tree bark when the image of Angel kissing Jason flashed in my head and I almost growled, grinding my teeth with raising anger, but Angel's next words eased my tension. “I chose to be faithful, I chose to be with one man only. And it has nothing to do with that stupid stereotype, that it's different for women, or that women don't like sex. You know, I love it as much as you do. I made a conscious decision to be Jamesexual, and I stayed true to that. No matter how drunk I got, no matter how good some guys looked, no matter how much I just wanted to fuck someone's brains out because we were apart for too long, and the noises from behind the shower walls were driving my horns up through the fucking roof! I needed more than just a cold vibrator and sex over the phone, I needed a warm touch, but I kept it all inside of me, thinking of you, dreaming of you, counting the days to the moment when we could spend time together. And every time it got too much to bear, I jumped on a plane and flew to you. I chose you, every fucking time, I chose you!” Angel's eyes relaxed and lightened... her hand came back to my chest and the wave of anger vanished, replaced by love. I grasped her hand with mine, pressing it to my lips and choking with tears. Angel lowered her forehead to my chest and whispered. “Now... tell me... if it was me in your place... what would you have done?” “I... I would've... I would've died...” I can't even think of you with someone but me. Angel looked at me and I read it in her eyes, it was exactly how she felt. “I thought of that... that night at Jason's place... thoughts about our kids stopped me... James, tell me, would you take me back if I asked you to?” “No...Yes...” I would've... I would've stepped over my pride... I would felt diminished and miserable, but I would've taken her back... and I would've hated myself for it... “And forgave me?” Her eyes scanned my face, waiting for my answer. “No...” Forever unforgiven... “And every time I went off on the tour, what would be the one thing always on your mind?” “If you were with someone...” “And, if I swear that I'm not... would you trust me?” “No...” Because I know how it goes... I tried... and failed. My addictions pulled me right back, all my addictions... booze, to feel of power... the need to be the King... She's right, she has all that I have, and she is stronger than I am... I need to change, I need to grow up... I need to cut all this shit from me, to be worthy of her love... I need to... “So where are we going from here? How can we be together without trust? Tell me... because I don't know how to... I'm so lost... I'm hurting so much... and I can't live like this...” Angel eased into my arms, sobbing into my chest, and I gripped her body, feeling my tears running down my face. Feeling it all from her side made it all so clear and I knew what I needed to do. “Angel... I'm the one who ruined it all, and I need to fix this... try to fix it... I tried to be strong and I failed... I can't do it on my own... I need help... so, I'm going away for some time...” “What are you talking about? I thought we were trying to fix this to be together...” Angel pushed back, her worried eyes peering into mine. “I'm going to try and clean all this fucking shit out... I'm going to rehab.” “Rehab? James... I can't let you do that, it's too big of a sacrifice... it's like a suicide, not physical, but mental... Psychiatrists work with the people there, I know how it's done, it's brutal! They will pull you apart, piece by piece, make you rebuild yourself, only to be pulled apart again and again, until you don't even know who you are! They make you question your every decision, your whole life!” My wife's hands gripped onto my shoulders, her eyes widened with fear. I knew how much she feared psychiatrists, her body tensed up and I slid my hands over her hair, pressing my lips to her head. “I need your trust back... I need to fix it... and this is the only way.” “James, we can work on it... together... I'll try to trust you... please don't...” She pulled back again, her eyes full of pain. “No, you were the one who always forgave me, you were the one who waited for me all those years... I can't ask you to forgive me for something I wouldn't forgive you... I know it now, I see it clearly... I need to clear myself. I owe it to you, to our kids... to everyone... I need to do this. I crushed and burned what was between us, now I need to rebuild myself, clean myself, to be reborn worthy of you.” “James...” She clung to me, pulling me close. “It's my decision and it's the only way I can see. I just hope you're still there when I come back... I don't know how long it will take... all I ask is for you to wait... but, if you decide it's taking too long... that you don't want to put your life on hold... I won't blame you...” I choked on the last words. “I'll be here, I'll be right here, waiting for you... I promise you that.” |
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| Harvester of Sorrow | May 30, 2011, 2:01 pm Post #804 |
Some Kind Of Monster
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This is your best chapter so far, at least in my opinion. First, the contrast between the happy "outsiders" and the melancholic pairing, James and Angel. I absolutely love the fact that you added this detail "The girls decided to cook and took over the kitchen, while the guys scattered all over the house, pretending to be busy putting everything in it's place after the police" - their friends stalling, so that they could see if Kat's plan had fully worked, if they were going to finally reunite after so much pain caused, even to their friends (although indirectly). There was the really James part: expressing feelings through lyrics, the way he knows best. Angel knows he pours his heart out every time he writes something, and therefore it was the perfect way to reveal her his feelings in a truthful way, and yet indirect, since I assume he fears her rejection. And what did he write? Fucking Unforgiven II! The classic anguish/melancholic Metalli-ballad, but with a pinch of love. Lyrics suit their situation like a glove. Their tree. Such a simple idea, they planted a tree when they married. And as simple and common as it may be, so many stories revolved around it. Typical protective badass James waiting with a gun to shoot the intruder and then a baby rabbit shows up [was he named Jack?] and he has no guts to pull the trigger and melts at the sight of the animal. They slowly complete each others lines, since they both lived the stories, making it feel very natural. Angel is slowly opening up, they're starting to have a more casual and friendly conversation, instead of pure silence or simple, bitter words. And of course, the adorable apple story. Although they tasted like shit, they not only ate them with pleasure but also forced them upon their friends! But they learned and even started introducing some pies and fights over the mentioned pies. Then the conversation snaps back to reality and Angel pulls the old in my shoes trick. Result: He's checking into rehab. And “I'll be here, I'll be right here, waiting for you... I promise you that.” Fucking great job |
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| tuesday's gone | May 30, 2011, 3:55 pm Post #805 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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Everything Julia said plus the following: I'm blown away. Totally and completely. I'm deconstructed by this deconstruction of their relationship. I'll start with Angel. (I know I surprised you there) Finally, after so many chapters, I can feel for her. She got character and meaning and strength and words she needed to have. She now has the courage and determination she so desperately lacked before. She grew and she got color. And I like it very much. And the way she chose to express herself, to get across to him, to his alpha-male mind, by turning the tables hypothetically. She got me with that James, his thoughts, his fears, struggles, suppressed tears. You are simply the master of James. First his lyrics, blending with the plot so effortlessly, so naturally. His thoughts accompanying her hand movements and her eyes are so well written! So much of his inner drama left unspoken, yet overwhelmingly present, pressing, dominating, like the question everyone there expects the answer to. And then finally: The tree. It is such a beautiful metaphor of their marriage, fighting for life, resisting all intruders, surviving the storms, broken, beat and scarred and yet producing fruit (memories they cherished even when sour like the sour apples; their children the fruit of their own). It lived because they cared about it so much. He cared about it so much. Even though he said he hated it. And its rough bark is the place where their hands will almost touch reflecting the agony of losing all that this rough bark stands for and inability to simply join hands and move on. Their tree is the place where they will spill their guts out. Their tree is the place where he will decide to be a real man, rather than just a poser with a gun. He will finally face himself and fix things. He will live through the storm and grow. Broken, beat and scarred. Just like that tree. And there will be fruit. Sweeter than the sweetest apple. |
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| Lilith | May 30, 2011, 6:17 pm Post #806 |
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♥ Jaimelicious ♥
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Beautiful allegory of their marriage with the tree. Loved this whole chapter. :horns2 |
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| namenlos | May 30, 2011, 11:39 pm Post #807 |
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The Daft To Your Punk
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Wow... intense and emotional chapter... I hope everything works out in the end.
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| Lenne13 | June 2, 2011, 8:11 pm Post #808 |
Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand!!
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That was so beautiful, so deep, so true .... I felt like I was there, seeing them talking ... Olya ... You make magic with words.... Thanks for your amazing fanfics! They are therapy for me... |
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| Izzy | June 3, 2011, 4:03 pm Post #809 |
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Outlaw Torn
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All I can say is that I loved this part. It was really emotional to be honest, I had a little tear whilst reading. I hope that everything will start to get better now.
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| Freyja | June 3, 2011, 5:55 pm Post #810 |
Outlaw Torn
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MORE!!! Yeah, I finally caught up and it's all amazing, although I wanted them to split for good and Angel to find a new love interest (probably Jason ). But yeah, I'm just a sad nihilist And Olya, you're an amazing writer! Normally I don't read fan fictions, because I find them pathetic, cringe-worthy and too much of bad writing in one place - well, neither can be said about yours, it's the complete opposite! Bravo to you!
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But it doesn't sound like James and Angel will be getting back together...
). But yeah, I'm just a sad nihilist
And Olya, you're an amazing writer! Normally I don't read fan fictions, because I find them pathetic, cringe-worthy and too much of bad writing in one place - well, neither can be said about yours, it's the complete opposite! Bravo to you!

8:39 PM Jul 10