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Wherever I Belong...; Metallica AU with a twist... James/OFC, Kirk/OFC
Topic Started: January 24, 2010, 3:50 pm (46,566 Views)
Olyamet
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Jäger.....

Okay, sorry again for the long wait.
Love you all girls!
:heart: :heart: :heart:


More.










XXXVIII



(Alex's POV)


The chilly night air blew over my hair and I carefully pulled out off James' arms, sitting up on the bed. Colorful city lights in the window blinked under the curtain, flowing in the breeze. I pulled the bathrobe off the chair and stood up to close the balcony door, shivering at the chilly draft. Where are we? Oh... yes, Birmingham, England... My eyes stopped on the view behind the window, another city, another sleepless night... The lights of the buildings desperately tried to outshine the brightness of the moon, losing the battle and throwing the last blinks of light to the dark sky, just like me trying to catch up on my work, but powerless to do so... I sacrificed my sleep for the last five nights and it wasn't enough... How long would I be able to go on like this?

In eighteen days with a crazy schedule, we passed through eight countries and twelve cities. In eighteen days, all I got done on Sergey's book was forty-seven pages out of four hundred and seventy-three. Then I finally figured out a way to catch up with my work and so far it was working, but at what cost? I was only be able to hand-write on the road and in the short hours when the band was in the tuning room. Then the gig, the party after, the hotel, and typing my day's work in the bathroom, while James was asleep, then to the plane or bus, and repeat. My eyes drifted to my portable typewriter, I got about two hours of sleep a day and all I managed to get typed out was thirty-five pages. Times like this, I wished I'd taken a typing class, so I could type faster. If I kept going at this pace, this book would takes me forever, and I had another book to work on, the contract was for two years... if I was at home...

I sighed and looked back at James, his face was half buried in the pillow, covers pulled aside, bare torso glowing in the moonlight. You never can keep your covers on, do you? I smiled and walked around to his side of the bed, pulling the blanket over his body and carefully tucking it in on the side. He moved in his sleep, throwing his arm over the pillow, and I smiled again. Sleep my Lord, I have to get to work... I'm not sorry that I came with you on this tour, I just wish I could figure out a better way to balance it all...

I picked up my typewriter and my backpack, opening the bathroom door and tightly closing it behind me, making myself comfortable on the floor. I pulled my notebook out and turned to the right page. My hands loaded the first page of paper in, adjusting it to the needed place. I would give anything for a cup of coffee right now.. I rubbed my tired eyes, then shook my head in an attempt to perk myself up. My hands took over again and typed the title of the next chapter. I stopped for a second, listening to the silence, making sure James was still asleep. Nothing... my fingers returned to their work, and soon I was completely submerged in the strange universe of different planets, adventures, and the dangerous world of deep space travel.



(Meg's POV)


I opened my eyes and carefully pulled my arm from underneath Kirk's neck with the intention of getting up to get some water. He mumbled something in his sleep and threw his leg over my body, snuggling to my side, his arm stretched across my chest and I smiled. I moved his hair away from his face and he smiled in his dreams. Oh, Kirky, why are you so damn cute? I guess I'm not getting up...

My mind returned to the earlier talk with my oldest brother. I understood where he was standing, they were in the middle of this scandal, they, unlike me, couldn't escape it. I understood that they blamed our mother for everything, but I also understood her. When you fall in love... nothing else is important, you don't care about the age, you don't care what people would say, you're in your own little cocoon of happiness, oblivious to everything in the rest of the world.

I guess for them it was a repeat of the past when Mom met my Dad. He was two years younger, he was free and she was in the middle of a divorce with two boys. It took them forever to accept my father, and they never called him Dad. They didn't fully accepted me until my parents divorced, after that I became one of them and they tried to protect me, taking me with them wherever they went, so I wouldn't be able to hear what my mother had to say about my father in the peak of her rage. They lived it before and they knew that it hurt. Mother had a fiery temperament, and often said things without caring who heard it and who got hurt in the process when she was angry.

Kirk's arm moved on my chest, pulling me closer, and I slid my fingers along his cheek. Am I like her? Would I be so out of control with my anger if Kirk ever left me? Would I try to hurt him back? Everyone always said that I was just like her, I inherited her red hair, and her temper... No... I don't' think I would ever be able to hurt him... what if he cheats on me? I saw those girls eating him with their eyes... I saw them flashing their tits. Those bitches! He ignores them now, when I'm here by his side, when everything between us is fresh and new... but what would happen if we were apart? When my contract was over, when I had to be somewhere else, and he went on the next tour...

This is just a trial for me, working with the band, for the next step, my father plans to take me to Africa and teach me working in the wild, teach me to see and capture the beauty of a different world. We will be apart for at least half a year... what would become of us? Would we drift apart? Would we be able to stay in love? Would we meet after such a long time and I would pretend that I knew nothing about his girls on the side... would I be able to do that? I mean, I wouldn't expect him to be faithful for so long... he is a guy, an unbelievably hot and desirable guy...

Oh... God... I can't even think of that without tears! I love him so much... but I can't just become one of the girls who lives off their boyfriend's earnings, I have my own career ahead of me... even if we get married... I can't just be a housewife... I would end up hating him for my ruined career...

“Kirk... tell me we could overcome all that, tell me you will not ask me to just be with you and put my life on hold, tell me you understand, that my carrier as important as yours... tell me all that, and tell me we'll manage...” I whispered and sighed.



(James' POV)


After rehearsal was over and the girls left our tuning room to get to the photographer's pit, Lars walked to me, sipping on his water.

“James... how's Alex? Is everything okay?”

“What do you mean?” I looked back at the drummer, puzzled by his question.

“I mean... she's not sick or anything?” He looked into my eyes.

“No... why?” What's all this about? Lars closed his bottle of water and looked back at me.

“James... you said she's... against drugs, right? Are you focking sure?”

“What the fuck, Lars? What kind of question is that?” I growled back and Lars looked down for a second, then spoke.

“I just... look man, unless she's getting a lack of sleep because you've been focking her all night long in the last few nights... I'm assuming it's not so, since you look just fine, or she's focking sick... she has those dark circles under her eyes, she downed five cups of coffee during our rehearsal and still yawned... her eyes are a bit red... and.... she's kind of acting weird... I watched her and saw her put sugar and creamer in one cup and pour coffee in the other cup and walk away, leaving the cup with sugar and creamer on the table...” Lars' eyes peered into mine.

“She's working, maybe she was just deep in her thoughts... like you never did anything like that.”

“She did that twice... and the third time she used salt instead of sugar... plus, despite all the coffee, she was shaking her head and looked very sleepy... then she went to the restroom, taking something out of her backpack and hiding it in her hand... looking around to see if anyone was watching her... and came back all perked up... well... you get the idea...”

“What are you fucking saying? Are you saying she's on drugs?” I barely held myself from grabbing Lars by his shirt.

“I'm saying... that it focking looks that way.”

“There's no fucking way.”

“I'm just saying, man...”

Lars walked away, leaving me with a scrambled mind. What if he was right? Could it be? No... although she did put different color socks on this morning and was falling asleep on the bus... and I noticed those dark circles too... no... it can't be. My eyes stopped on Alex's backpack on the chair by the table. He said she took something out before she went to the bathroom... if I just look... No... that would be wrong. I can't, this is her personal stuff and I trust her... and... I'll just ask her after the gig. I'll ask her straight what the fuck is going on.

My eyes went back to the backpack, the zipper was open, I saw her notebook, Sergey's book and a spare shirt... something caught my attention and without thinking I pulled out a binder. If you need to hide something, this would be the place... Before my mind caught up with my hands I opened the side zipper and sat down, staring at the typed pages. When did she...? I've never seen her taking typewriter out of it's box... she always hand writes... she's always with me and I've never seen her type... So when did she manage to type all this? Wait.. I've NEVER SEEN HER TYPE! She's... she does this when I'm asleep... she works at night! Oh fuck... Alex... how could I be so fucking blind! I mean, fucking Lars noticed what I should've noticed first! Fuck!



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Lilith
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Jaimelicious

Awww... poor Alex! :(

Somehow this update left me a bit exhausted! :P

Cool! :heart:
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Harvester of Sorrow
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Poor Alex, exhaustion is a bitch. I wonder what James will do to help her..

Why do I always love Kirk so much in this fic? I see him already as a sweet person, and here you make him even sweeter.

Very well written, especially the first couple lines in Alex's POV!

I was waiting for this chapter, finally!
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namenlos
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The Daft To Your Punk
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Poor Alex, I know how she feels. :( I kind of dislike Lars right now, though, for what he's insinuating. :bat
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tuesday's gone
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Lars, you stupid motherfucker!!!! :angry Sorry, I had to vent, he really pissed me off :biggrin
Oh, Alex, I know, I know what it's like! And trust me, sleep-deprived translation is never good and when you finally collapse, you won't be able to do anything, let alone the daily quota...
But I hope James will help her now. Which means he'll make her spend less time with him, I guess, which then means that SOME people, or better to say, SOME women might get wrong ideas....

I loved the two POV's beginning with the same moment and setting. It linked the struggles of two best friends. Alex trying to juggle everything, always so self-sufficient, never asking for help (I love her!) which of course takes its toll on her. I feel for her deeply. She does not have time to think, but I think she would share the same doubts and fears with Meg. Her part is particularly good in this chapter, all aspects of her life, past and present, intertwined in her thoughts. And the only reason she is so concerned is the fact that she cares for Kirk deeply. It is so sweet! Let's hope the curly cutie will make things alright.

They are at a turning point, I think the way they choose will affect their future significantly. This is just a beginning and so many challenges are yet to be faced. But James' guilty conscience gives me hope. He still learns to share life with someone else. They all do. Let's hope they cherish what they have with each other. It is beautifully written Olya. And you should do more descriptions like the one in the beginning of this chapter. It is beautiful!
I love this story so much! Can't wait to see what the future holds for them

Oh and yeah, Lars, you stupid fuck!
Edited by tuesday's gone, March 14, 2011, 5:02 am.
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Izzy
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Poor Alex, exhaustion is terrible, and coffee doesn't help with that...

and I'm pissed off with Lars at the moment :rolleyes: :angry
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Olyamet
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Jäger.....

@ Alma. Sorry... I promise to get you out of the exhaustion! :biggrin
@ Julia. 'Coz Kirk is a sweetest guy! Thank you! :D
@ Lori. Well, Lars noticed something and put it together the best way he could... :rolleyes:
@ Bo. You always make me jump like a little girl when I see you comments! I LOVE YOU! :heart:
@ Izzy. Lars just been Lars, he can't show his concerns the right way... remember this is 1988... they all very young. He does care, for James. :heart:

Thank you girls, your comments always make my day!
I love you all!
:heart: :heart: :heart:

I don't have a long update, sorry.

More.









(Alex's POV)


The gig was over and we came back to the break-rehearsal room, waiting for the guys to show up. I dropped in a chair and stretched my legs, watching Meg pack her cameras and hand her bag to Brian. Ever since she hired Tim's brother as a helper our life got so much easier. He was there to help with everything, taking her treasures to the hotel, helping us in the pit, watching for the multiple flying objects during the gig. He was just a God send. The only thing that Meg still trusted only me with was helping her reload her cameras, but that was fine with me.

I dragged myself off the chair to walk to the restroom to splash cold water over my face to keep me awake as I did all day long, and my head spun around, making me grip at the chair. Today, on the top of all this sleep deprivation, my stomach was hurting on and off and I predicted the oncoming, too early and inconvenient as usual, period. I went to the restroom a few times to check if it was on and refresh my heavy head with cold water and the last time right before the gig I sneaked the tampon out of my backpack, deciding to use it just in case, the last thing I needed was to be embarrassed in front of everyone.

I waited for a few minutes for my head stop spinning and let go of the chair, thank Gods Meg didn't noticed it. She let her hair out of her pony-tail, letting them to drop down, and looked my way, her eyes met mine and she came closer, looking at my face.

“Alex... are you feeling okay? You're kind of pale...”

“I'm just tired and I think I'm about to get on the red horse... just feel exhausted.” I smiled, suppressing my yawn.

“You look exhausted, listen I can teach Brian to reload my cameras and help me in the pit, so you don't have to...”

“Nonsense! I have nothing to do anyway, and I prefer to be in the pit instead of backstage. I love to see James all steaming hot up there! I wouldn't give that up for anything!”

Meg opened her mouth to answer me when the door flew open and James walked in all fresh out of the shower... and looking a bit pissed off. He looked at me and picked up my backpack.

“We're going to the hotel.”

“No party tonight?” I smiled, but the smile vanished off my face when he turned to me.

“We're not going to the party.”

“James... is everything alright?”

“It will be, from now on it will be. See you tomorrow Meg!” He pulled my arm and Meg gave me a 'what the fuck is going on?' look. All I could do is shrug my shoulders to her, before James basically dragged me through the door.

“James, what's wrong?”

“Nothing... I just... we're going to the hotel and going to sleep, all night and late into the afternoon. Then we'll catch up with the band in Sheffield.” James didn't say anything else, just firmly took my hand in his and pulled me to the exit.

What the fuck happened? Did he have a fight with someone?




(Meg's POV)


James' behavior puzzled me, and so did the way Alex looked today. She was slow at the gig and looked horrible, what the fuck was going on with her? I knew it wasn't the tour, we'd traveled before and she was always the one keeping it together. Never tired, even after partying all night... those dark lines under her eyes and the fact that she almost fell, standing up too fast... I need to talk to her. I got so much into my own problems with my family and my work that I neglected my best friend. Honestly, what kind of friend did that make me? A fucking bad one... and James... maybe they had a fight? No... he was all smiles before the gig... something happened during the gig.. or right after me and Alex left the room... what could it be? I needed to talk to her...

Kirk pulled me out of my thoughts, hugging me from behind.

“Hi! Did you miss me?” The fresh smell of his still wet hair clouded my senses and made me breathe in.

“Hm... let me think... you were in rehearsal for hours, then on that stage for two more hours, so close and so out of my reach, so teasingly, unbelievably hot... nope... didn't miss you at all.” I smiled, turning in his arms to see his puppy-eyed expression as an answer to my words.

“Uh... not even a little bit?” His eyes begged me. God, he's so cute!

“Well... maybe a little... just a tiny bit.” I continue my teasing, slowly sliding my hands up his back and to his neck.

“Tiny bit... okay, I'll take that. Better than nothing...” He pouted. Oh, those lips are just so...

“Just enough to do this...” I took his lips in mine, pulling him to me. My leg slowly raised up to his hip and as our kiss heated up, he moaned, pulling my leg closer and sliding his other hand to my butt. Oh yes... baby... I missed you... a lot! I wonder if there was a place in here where we could be alone... just for a few minutes...



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tuesday's gone
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SHORT BUT SWEET!!!!

He's taking her to the hotel to have some rest and he's doing it in oh-so-James way! I'm concerned for your well-being so I'm going to be all commanding and aggressive. Perfect!!! Freshly showered and a bit pissed off, oh, what a beautiful sight!!!!

And Meg is so sweet with her self-reprimand (that lasts for half a minute :lol: ). But who could blame her, it's the hot Kirk again!!! Seriously, you keep getting to me with Kirk in this fic. It's amazing.

OK, now it's time for some James-gentleness. I hope we get there. I hope he'll manage to show his concern and love in a proper way and not act like an overprotective psycho :) But Alex reads him, so I guess she'll get it anyway. On the other hand, he better not try to control her or make her leave her work! OK, I'm slightly worried now. Should I be?

It's perfect Olya but that's a given with you.

LOVE THIS FIC!!! :heart: :heart: :heart:
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Lilith
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Awww... James!! :cloud9

I love him here so so so much! :heart: :heart: :heart:

Thank you Olya! :biggrin
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Harvester of Sorrow
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How adorable, protective James. :biggrin

I'm happy you updated, even though it's a short chapter.
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namenlos
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Oh Alex... I hope it's just simple exhaustion and nothing is seriously wrong with her... :unsure:
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Lenne13
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Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand!!
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Alex is crazy to think she'll be able to reconcile his life as a "rock star girlfriend" with her work ... Unfortunately .... :(

But I think James can find a way... :rolleyes:

Thanks Olya!! :huggie:

Your fanfics are for me the best way to relax .... I love how I get involved in your stories... :heart:
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Olyamet
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Jäger.....

@ Bo. Hehehe about Kirk. And... you asked for it, here is some Jamesiness. :heart:
@ Alma. He's always cute! I love him here too, just learning to love.
@ Julie. Well, then I'll continue with the short ones!
@ Lori. Exhaustion, can bring all kind of problems, but she is young!
@ Lenne. He will try his best.

Thank you all girls!
Love you!
:heart: :heart: :heart:


Here is more.









(James' POV)


Throughout the gig I was thinking the best way to deal with Alex. One part of me was pissed off at her, that she's chose to work at night, secretly sacrificing her sleep, instead of asking me for help. The other part was pissed off at myself for not noticing her state, and somewhere deep inside I knew that if I tried put my foot down and tell her once again to quit her job, she wouldn't be the kind of girl who would comply with ease. She was as hardheaded as me, and if I pulled the dominant card, she would rebel and possibly leave... no, I can't do it the easy way, no ordering around.

Plus it's all my fault, I am responsible for her exhaustion, I was the one making her agree to go on the tour, I was the one who failed to convince her to let me to take care of her. Me, me and no one else. All my fault, I have to be the one to fix this... and I have to do it the right way. So far it was the wrong way... I went through her stuff instead of asking her first, I believed Lars, although I knew better. God, I just wish it was an easy task. Alex... read me, please read what is in my heart right now and make it easy... just help me start... help me do it right.

I looked at Alex sitting next to me in the car, quiet, just looking at the window. Somehow the words 'we need to talk' didn't seem right. Fuck! I couldn't help myself when I saw her standing in the tuning room all pale. My heart dropped and instead of being nice, coming up to her and hugging her, telling her that I was worried about her and cared about her more than I ever cared about anyone in my life, I acted like a moron, basically dragging her with me. Fucking nice start... okay, I can fix this, once we get to the hotel, I'll fix this. I have no idea how, but I hope I can come up with some idea... we do need to talk... make her rest first, then talk... maybe talk a little, just explain to her how I feel and then... shit. I have no idea how to start this... shit, fuck!




(Alex's POV)


Once we got to the hotel room I went straight to the bathroom to collect my thoughts and figure out a way to talk to James. He was clearly pissed at someone, on the way to the hotel he was all quiet, not even hugging me, just holding my hand... He's not the type of guy who would just bitch at whoever it is he had a fight with... should I ask? No... better to wait for him to be ready to talk... he said we were going to sleep... okay... I can just leave my work for tonight and help him through what ever it is. And if he wants to talk, when he wants to talk, I'll be there for him, just listen... just be there.

I undressed, thanking Gods in the process and noticing that my stomach had settled down and there was no sight of my period. I slashed cold water over my face and looked at myself in the mirror. It doesn't matter that I'm about to fall asleep where I stand. I did it to myself, not his fault. It's all about my James tonight, he needs me. I wrapped a hotel robe around me, not finding the belt, and stepped out of the bathroom. The bed covers were already pulled aside and James was standing by the window with only jeans on. Okay... play first, talk later. I tiptoed to him and wrapped my arms around him, kissing his shoulder from behind.

“I love you.”

He pulled my hands to his face, turning around and embracing me.

“I love you too.” His eyes peered into mine as his hands slid the robe off my shoulders, letting it fall on the floor, and I closed my lips over his, ready for a kiss, but to my surprise he picked me up and lowered onto the bed, kissing my forehead and covering me with blanket. Wait... what the fuck?

“Now, sleep.” His hand gently pulled a strand of unruly hair away from my face.

“James... you... you don't want me?” What's going on... is he that mad that he doesn't want me? Is he mad at me? What did I do? I guess all those questions were clearly written on my face and James shook his head, smiling and landing another kiss on my forehead.

“I always do... but not tonight. You need to rest, okay? We'll talk later.” His hands slid to the side, tucking the blanket in around my body. Oh... no... what's going on? Those 'fatherly' kisses... he keeps insisting for me to rest... did he figure out that I'm working at night? No... he never woke up, not once... I made sure he was asleep...

“James, what's wrong? Are you mad at me?”

“No, I'm not mad at you... I'm... I'm mad at myself... my self-fucking-centered self. It's all my fault, I made you come with me on tour, because I wanted you always by my side, and all this time I didn't ask you how you doing with your job, not even once. I knew that our crazy schedule leaves you very little time to work and I was hopping you gave up and dropped it... because I wanted you all to myself. See, it was all about what I want... me, me, me. Alex... I... I saw a binder with typed pages... I'm sorry I looked in your backpack, but Lars... he... he said you might be on drugs... the way you looked and the way you acted... he saw you pulling something out... you and Meg had already left, I couldn't ask you... and I had to know... I've never seen you open your typewriter... and there was a lot of pages...”

Oh, Gods... he knows... oh, fuck...

“It's not your fault James, it's mine... I failed to realize that I bit off a little more than I can chew... I thought I could do it all and it's my fault for not planing it right... I thought I'd just catch up with my work while you were sleeping... I thought I could do it... I'm sorry, I should've told you. I was afraid you'd get all mad and ask me to drop my job again... I need it, I can't back out from my promise to Sergey... and I'm happy to be by your side... I just need to find a way to balance it all...” I pulled him to me and he eased down on top of the covers by me.

“I should've heard you typing at night, and fixed this before you worked yourself into exhaustion.” He rose above me, his fingers traced lightly over my cheek.

“...You couldn't hear me... because... I was typing in the bathrooms... in the beginning I did it in the lobby...” I pulled away from his gaze in shame.

“In the lobby? At night? Alone?” Uh oh... better not say anything about that old creep that tried to pick me up... I could already hear the anger in his voice.

“Just for the first two nights, then I worked in the bathrooms...” I looked away.

“How many nights?” He turned my face back to him.

“Six...”

“In a row? Are you crazy?” His eyes widened.

“James... don't be mad...”

“I'm not, not at you, I care for you more than anyone... promise me, you'll never do it again. We'll figure out a way for you to work.” His lips danced over my face, landing butterfly kisses.

“James, all those pages have to be typed... and I have a lot written, if I could just catch up... I can't type anywhere but in the hotel and...” It just won't work any other way... the typewriter is heavy, not to mention loud... I can't use it on the go or in the tuning room...

“You'll sleep every night, and that's negotiable. I'll find someone to type it for you, hire someone...”

“The way I write, no one can read it but me, plus I jump from one part to other, making notes on the side... it's like a puzzle only I can read.” I had already thought of that and dismissed it as impossible.

“Shhh... just rest, we'll figure it out tomorrow.” He kissed my shoulder, keeping himself above me. This slight touch warmed up my blood, and despite my tiredness I felt the need to surrender to this man... this caring sweet man, who got all worked up and worried about me, and missed his party because of me... oh baby, you're so sweet, you deserve a little present.

“So... if you're not mad at me... can we play a little...” I smiled, pulling the blanket aside, leaving myself half exposed and willing. James' eyes roamed over my chest and his hand slid over my skin while his lips nibbled on my neck. I pull him closer, ruffling his hair, and his lips continued to my chest as one hand found it's way to my breast and the other slid the blanket lower. Oh yes... after this I will sleep so much better... His lips returned to mine, sweet and tender at first, but getting more and more demanding. I arched my back, pressing myself to his naked chest and he moaned, pulling back.

“Stop it! You need to sleep, I'm not that selfish, I can wait till you're all well rested.”

“James... just a little bit... it will make me sleep better...” I know you can't say no... I pulled him back to me, but he smirked, getting himself comfortable by my side. His arms returned the blanket over my body and his arms pulled me closer, his lips whispered into my ear.

“Nope, you deserve a little punishment for what you did. Now sleep, just close your eyes and rest... sleep my baby, sleep... I'm right here by your side and I will find a way out tomorrow... you need to rest first...”

His voice sounded so soothing, so calming, my heavy mind started drowning in the fog of neverland, and I whispered my last conscious words as I drifted away into oh-so-needed sleep.

“You're so cruel... but I love you...”



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Harvester of Sorrow
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I read this chapter with a stupid grin on my face.

Seriously, I'm still grinning like an idiot. Looks like someone drugged me.

It was all so adorable. James is angry at the beginning and is trying to find a way to start the conversation without spoiling the mood. And how he is so protective, even putting aside the "little brain", as some call it, to make a rational decision, because he does care about her well-being.

And Alex, of course. An awesome character, I must say! She takes her job/promise to Sergey very seriously, even when it's physically (and mentally) demanding. She even wants to give James a present. Well, who wouldn't want to give him that sort of present?

Loved this chapter! Short or long, as long as you keep 'em coming I'll be happy to read and post a little review! :heart:
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Lilith
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Jaimelicious

as.dfjasdfjhasdfhsjdfhjfsd

My heart is throbbing with so much love right now... :drool :heart:

I love you Olya! :biggrin

I feel like running singing right now... la la la la la
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