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Metallica in No thanks Dr. Hammett; 5 part X-mas drabble, Het/gen, Metallica, Scott ian, Funny
Topic Started: December 9, 2012, 4:40 am (405 Views)
picklegal1
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS

[this 5 part Drabble is entirely basted off of a Sailor Moon episode called: "No Thanks Nurse Venus" (& its from the -R- season as well) so you might read some references in this drabble too :D ]


--------Part 1--------

(one week before Christmas)

-San Fransisco, Ca/ Dec, 18th 2012......Lars Ulrich's house-

Lars: Hey James.....hows it coming along?!?!?.....(coughs).....sorry i just had the flu since last friday & its been getting on my fucking nerves that i just need it to go away........ ACHOO.....

~on the other line at James' House~

James: Thats alright Lars........Rob & myself had gotten it as well.....(coughs)

Lars: Yea at least Kirk is still up & well

James: I'd wouldn't be keen on Kirk though

Lars: Uh.....what do you mean????

James: I'll tell you more later..... Just lock your doors, windows, & hide in a room

(just before Lars could do anything)

Kirk: Hey Lars :D

Lars: Kirk....uhhhhh hi

James: I guess i'll have to call him back later....ACHOO...after i clean up this damn mess Kirk did

(meanwhile)

Kirk: Here you go vegetable soup is served

Lars: What is he talking about Scott????

Scott: Well at Rob's Kirk had made the soup too salty, at James' he made the soup too sweet

Kirk: Scott those was just honest mistakes....now eat up Lars, you might want your strength back by Christmas don't ya

Lars: Yea -coughs- (inner thoughts: i hope i don't regret this)


----till Pt.2----
Edited by picklegal1, December 20, 2012, 6:36 am.
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------Pt.2------


Kirk: Here you go vegetable soup is served

Lars: What is he talking about Scott????

Scott: Well at Rob's Kirk had made the soup too salty, at James' he made the soup too sweet

Kirk: Scott those was just honest mistakes....now eat up Lars, you might want your strength back by Christmas don't ya

Lars: Yea -coughs- (inner thoughts: i hope i don't regret this)

Kirk: ^-^

Scott: :wink :tu:

Lars: (takes a bite of vegetable soup) -Gulp-

Kirk: What do you think?????

Lars: .................................................................................................................................................
..............................................................................................AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW -coughing-

Kirk: :rolleyes: Oh no.....not again, what did i done wrong with the soup this time

Scott: -tastes soup- Blagh!!!!!! Kirk, you made the soup too hot & spicy

Lars: Thats alright Scott, i just need rest now if you & Kirk don't mind

Kirk: Ohhhhhh which reminds me.......i have this sounds of the ocean tape that'll get you right to sleep....now lets see here....Ah heres the play button (plays Slayer's "Raining Blood" instead on the tape player)

Lars: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kirk: Oops thats not my Sounds of the Ocean tape (tries to find the stop button but tape player explodes)

KaBOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kirk: Hahahahahaha well everyone makes mistakes sometimes even though they're not perfect somtimes

Lars: (mutters to himself in anger) GET OUT !!!!!!!!!!!! :angry :angry :angry

Kirk: Ohhhhh lets go Scott

Scott: Right behind you Hamster


---till pt.3---
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-----Pt.3-----


Kirk: Hahahahahaha well everyone makes mistakes sometimes even though they're not perfect sometimes

Lars: (mutters to himself in anger) GET OUT !!!!!!!!!!!! :angry :angry :angry

Kirk: Ohhhhh lets go Scott

Scott: Right behind you Hamster

(meanwhile on the streets of San Fran)

Kirk: Well that didn't go as planned with Lars either....Hmmmm...............a-ha, back to the drawing board Scott

Scott: Ok wait no Kirk, if we're going Jason's place at least let me do everything while you stay put

Kirk: Oh nonsense.......it'll take time thats all....& yes we're going to Jason's, so lets get crackin'

Scott: -sigh- Ohhhh goodie :rolleyes: (inner thoughts: prepare yourself Jase)

(Jason's House)

Jason: [calling Lars] Hey Lars -sniffs- hows everything been lately with the guys & all (coughs)

Lars: Before i get to that, you may have a "Hammett" warning coming your way as we speak ACHOO!!!!

Jason: You mean Kirk?????

Kirk: Yep Jase, that would be me in the flesh

Scott: Hey Jason

Jason: Got to go Lars [hangs up phone] so....whats going on (coughs)

Kirk: Everyone in the band got sick.....so i have to put it into despite measures & try to take care of everyone

Scott: So far.....its not working

Kirk: Well it will work this time.......May i make you some sou....

Jason: Uh......no thanks Kirk really, i'm .....getting better already ACHOO!!!!!

Kirk: Oh com'on now Jase.......lets just get you to bed & get some rest while i get some relaxing music on

Scott: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kirk: -sigh- Scott how bad can this be now

Scott: Cause you'll turn everything into a fiasco & it won't be relaxing afterwords


----till pt.4----

Edited by picklegal1, December 13, 2012, 6:54 am.
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VERY CRAZAY PART AHEAD...................be warned

----Pt.4----


Jason: Uh......no thanks Kirk really, i'm .....getting better already ACHOO!!!!!

Kirk: Oh com'on now Jase.......lets just get you to bed & get some rest while i get some relaxing music on

Scott: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kirk: -sigh- Scott how bad can this be now

Scott: Cause you'll turn everything into a fiasco & it won't be relaxing afterwords

Nicole: Hey Jason.......i'm going to be out to be doing some errands, i'll be back soon

Jason: Ok then, see you.......as you were guys saying .......ACHOO!!!!!

Kirk: Well i was going to....

Scott: We were unfortunately are going to just the house for a bit, get some medicine for the guys & head straight for home...right Kirk?

Kirk: Right

Jason: Oh....ok :/ (cough)

Kirk: Holler if you need anything Jase

(a few hours & a huge mess later)

Scott: Ahhhhh great look what we did Kirk....now we need to clean up this pig-sty before Jason flips the shitter on us

Kirk: I'm fucking working on it dude ......phew

Jason: huh......whats this.........(feels dizzy) guys would you both stop moving around.........i'm feeling a bit dizzy (fell on the floor)

-THUD- [dream/hallucination begins]

December 6th 1986 - somewhere on tour

Jason: (playing bass backstage) Wha.......why am i wearing a hippo suit?!?!?, its not even halloween

James: Beats me.....i have to get back on to the Death Star & obey master Vader's orders

Kirk: STAY......Stormtrooper Hetfield....if you go i'll suck your blood

Jason: Let me fucking guess, Kirk is Count Dracula & James is a Stormtrooper :rolleyes:

James: Sorry Count Hammula, but your sharp teeth were no match for my space-like armor

Kirk: Wanna bet????

James: (takes out a flying-v lightsaber) bring it on

Kirk: -hisses-

Lars: Now gentlemen.....lets all be subtle here now.......speaking of which we're going on in 9 hours & 35 minutes
plus the estimated showtime, in fact i have to get back to the tardis to save the universe thats in peril

All 3: (arguing)

Jason: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just one question..........WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just look at us

James: I don't see anything wrong with us

Kirk: -hisses- i look just fine........

Lars: (gasps) Oh quit hissing Count......you shouldn't be doing that bloody rubbish in pubic anywho

Kirk: Sorry Doctor -tiny hiss-

Lars: Well.......as i was saying, you shouldn't be judging a book by its cover, otherwise karma is going to get you in the ass

Jason: (inner thoughts: just like all of us when we treated Kirk & Scott....now i feel terrible, i should owe those two an apology when i wake up from here) You're right La....i mean Doctor....& i'm sorry i took everyone here by granted just by they look

James: The force is telling me that we're going on stage in 5.....4.....3.....2....1 Lets go troops


--------till Pt.5-------



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------Pt.5------


Jason: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just one question..........WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just look at us

James: I don't see anything wrong with us

Kirk: -hisses- i look just fine........

Lars: (gasps) Oh quit hissing Count......you shouldn't be doing that bloody rubbish in pubic anywho

Kirk: Sorry Doctor -tiny hiss-

Lars: Well.......as i was saying, you shouldn't be judging a book by its cover, otherwise karma is going to get you in the ass

Jason: (inner thoughts: just like all of us when we treated Kirk & Scott....now i feel terrible, i should owe those two an apology when i wake up from here) You're right La....i mean Doctor....& i'm sorry i took everyone here by granted just by they look

James: The force is telling me that we're going on stage in 5.....4.....3.....2....1 Lets go troops

(dream/hallucination is over)

Jason: HEY!!!!! -cough- WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE.....huh........oh.........it was just a dream

Scott: Dude, you passed out a few minutes ago.....we thought you were a goner

Jason: Yea.......wheres Kirk???

Scott: Playing with his guitar somewhere

Jason: Thanks.......................Kirk...... ACHOO!!!!!

-a few minutes later-

Kirk: (playing with his guitar)

Jason: Oh there you are ......i thought you left

Kirk: Oh no....Scott & i were just going to leave till we saw you passed out on the floor.....lucky you were winded though

Jason: :lol: .......yea but i'd like to owe you & Scott an apology, even though you were trying to take care of all of us effortlessly
so thanks

Kirk: No problem Jase :biggrin

(Monday Dec 24th 2012 - At Scott's house)

Scott: -sniff- And so all of Metallica went back to its rustle & bustle of headbanging before x-mas........all except us poor sick metal heads :ugh:

Kirk: Be quiet Scott....-cough-......all we need to do now is to just sleep

Jason: Hey guys .....i brought along Lars, James & Rob along

All 3: Hey Kirk.....Hey Scott

Scott & Kirk: Hi......ugh -cough-

Jason: Want to try my variation of the vegetable soup

Kirk: Sure.....(takes a bite of the soup) :o

Jason: So is it fantastic???

Kirk: Yes, it is really good thank you Jason

Lars: Ok.......i think we should let them rest for a few minutes

James: Wouldn't be rude if we had left the room without offering anything

Lars: I SAID NOT NOW!!!!!!!!!!

(James & Lars had just started fighting)

Kirk: -sigh-............................................................ACHOO

Scott: -cough-

Kirk: -sniff- WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LEAVE US ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------------------------------- the end -------------------------------------




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