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The Christmas Party; Secret Santa for CarpeDiemBaby
Topic Started: December 24, 2012, 7:18 pm (393 Views)
Broken, Beat & Scarred
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This is the Secret Santa story for CarpeDiemBaby by an anonymous author. :) Merry Christmas!




The Christmas Party


'Tis the season to be jolly... He scowled at the Christmas carol's words. What the fuck did James have to be jolly about? Nothing.

Absolutely fucking nothing.

His marriage was in a ditch. Metallica was probably going to be done. The guys hadn't even spoken to each other in months. They'd barely seen each other since he got out of rehab.

He'd spoken to his wife once during the past two months. And even that was to remind her to get her car serviced. She had moved out, but some of her mail still came to his house. He forwarded them to her office. He didn't even know where she lived.

Now... He was going to HQ for a small Christmas party. He had almost decided not to go, and in fact, he hadn't gone, he hadn't left, but Kirk, apparently, was so smart that he knew James wasn't going to go so he had come to get him. Which was why he was in the fucking car now, listening to Christmas carols.

Kirk had said that there was some people that really wanted to see him and he had assured James that he would be happy to see them, too. He wasn't so sure about that. He couldn't, honestly, think of any one person that he would like to see. Much less more than one.

If Kirk had asked him to please get in the car, he wouldn't have. But he hadn't asked. He had told him to get in. End of.

So, he'd gotten in, thinking that at least there was someone that knew him, somehow. Even if this wasn't what he wanted, he knew that it would be good for him to see his band mates, anyway. They were supposed to start working on another album soon, assuming the band would stay together, and they had some things they needed to talk about before that, so, it would be best to get that out of the way as soon as possible.

As they got into HQ he was surprised to see that there weren't that many people in there in the first place. Just Lars and Bob and some of their long time crew both from on the road and the studio. He was glad to see that the place wasn't full of people, many of whom he wouldn't even have been able to name. Maybe it really was a small party. But usually, with them, even the small parties became big. Too big for him right now.

It also surprised him when he noticed that there was no alcohol served. They always had some. And different varieties, not just one type, but beers, wines, scotch, all kinds. Always. Not this time.

But the Christmas tree had been put up at least, he noticed, looking around the room. There were some presents under the tree. He saw his name on some of them and he felt a strike of guilt for not even having thought about getting presents for the guys. He hadn't really even realized it was December. Sure, he knew exactly what day it was, because he'd kept counting the days – of how long his wife had been gone already, but it just hadn't registered, that it was December.

“James?” Bob started.

“Uh, hi. Merry Christmas, I guess,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He hadn't realized he'd been quiet the entire time. Or that any time had passed since he came into HQ. He looked around and saw that everyone was looking at him.

“Same to you. How are you doing?”

“I'm good,” he said quietly, not meaning what he said.

“That's good. I saw you noticed the presents. There's another one but we put it in your office. You should go take a look at it now, I think,” Bob told him. James frowned.

“No, I'm good. I'll just sit here with you guys,” he said, starting toward the table.

“No, no, go check it out,” Lars prompted. “Please.”

James figured it couldn't hurt. At least that would buy him another three to five minutes without him having to come up with some excuse for the lack of presents bought by him.

He went upstairs to his office and frowned, again, when he saw the guys remained standing at the top of the stairs. They hadn't followed him to his office door.

“I'm kind of freaked out. Why are you guys all there? Is there a rabid wolf or something behind the door? Some that's going to kill me once I open the door?” he joked.

“Probably not,” Lars said. “It's just... It's only for you. We'll be downstairs.”

“Good luck.”

Only for you? Good luck? What the hell?

He hesitated with his hand on the door knob, but in the end, he turned the knob and opened the door. What he saw, he wasn't prepared for.

“Hi,” she said quietly, offering him a small smile.

“What's going on?” he asked bluntly. He hadn't stepped into his room yet, he was standing in the hallway still.

“Why don't you come in?”

“Why would I?”

“Because I want to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Just come in, will you?” she asked, exasperated.

He nodded and stepped into the room. He took a seat behind his desk, while she sat down on the couch.

It was weird, being in the same room with his wife, who he hadn't seen in several months, without any yelling, animosity, hatred between them. Of course, he was hurt that she had chosen to leave him, but he couldn't really blame her. He had cheated on her, he'd lied to her and he'd left her alone several times, without offering to explain to her where he was going to, when he would be coming back, who he was with and why he was going in the first place. So, it had been only a matter of time.

But... He was a little... disappointed, maybe, that this was how they would see each other again. The guys were in on this, so, that was even more disappointing. That they would set this up. Surely, she wouldn't have anything nice to tell him... Maybe she had the divorce papers with her or something.

Fuck.

“How are you doing?” she asked him. He just looked at her, not understanding why she would ask him something like that.

“I'm fine.”

“Really?”

He looked at her for a brief second, until he turned to look at the desk again. “Well, what do you want me to say? I'm fucking miserable, I've lost everything I love. For a good reason, I know, so, I'm the one to blame and I'll have to live with my mistakes and all that shit. Just tell me why you're here and let's get this over with.”

“Well, I thought you'd know by now,” she said, looking a little confused.

“How would I? I guess I might, but...”

“James, you know that I didn't leave because I don't love you anymore, right?”

He rubbed his face with his hands, not really wanting to have this discussion with her now. Or ever.

“Yeah, you left because I'm an asshole, I'm familiar with the story.”

“No...” She stood up and walked over to him. “You're not an asshole,” she said.

She placed her hand on his, hoping that she could work this out with him. She knew that he thought they were done – that she thought they were done, but she didn't. Not really. They had a lot of things to figure out and them spending time away from each other had helped her realize how much she loved him. It had been difficult before, first, when he had been drinking, he'd been irritable and he had gotten upset and nasty, rude easily, and, then, when he had gone to rehab and he had told her not to call him or be in touch with him at all. That had been difficult for her because... well, she was his wife. She loved him. She wanted to help him. But he hadn't wanted her help.

Now, it was getting close to Christmas and she was hoping to go back home, to their house, to continue their life together. Though he wasn't a big fan of Christmas, she hoped this would change his mind. At least a little bit. She had been beating herself up over leaving him this close to Christmas – he can't have liked it because he'd been left by so many already... So, losing one more person, being left by one more person, and so close to Christmas, must have hurt him. She knew that.

“Why are you here?” he whispered. “You left me. Why are you here?”

“I want to come back home. If you'll let me.”

“What?”

“I want to be home for Christmas.”

“Just this Christmas...?”

She shook her head slightly. “This one and the next one and the next one and...”

“We're not getting divorced?” he looked at her, then, looking skeptical.

“Do you want us to?”

“I don't... But like I said... You left me. I thought... you wanted to get divorced.”

“Honestly? I thought about it. I did. I needed time to think about us. I'm sorry I wasn't any clearer about it.”

“That's okay. I just... It's been a long time since I've seen you, so... I just figured...,” he trailed off, not caring to continue his thought further.

“So, you figured that I had decided we were done.”

He merely shrugged.

“I'm sorry, really. I should have called you, we should have spoken more about this,” she said. That, and her apologizing to him earlier, came as a surprise to him. So far, during this entire mess, she had never been the one to apologize. He had been apologizing endlessly. “I don't want us to be over, either, James. I love you. We have a lot of things to work out, but I want to work on them.”

“I'm... I'm not sure I believe you. Which... is stupid, I know, because I have already -”

“Shh. Don't go there. I understand. We'll work things out, okay?”

“Okay.” He smiled at her a little. He really wanted to believe in her. He needed to. He had come to realize that his marriage, his relationship, was tightly connected to Metallica. He had felt that he needed two things to love. Metallica wasn't enough as it was. Not if he didn't have her. The marriage probably would be enough either, if he didn't have a creative outlet in Metallica.

“Let's go downstairs. There is supposed to be a Christmas party anyway.”

She got up tugging at his hand that she was still holding onto. She hadn't realized it. It felt so right. Like it belonged.

They walked downstairs hand in hand just like that. The rest of the group were all hanging out in the kitchen, singing Christmas carols. She and James stood by the door and she leaned onto him softly, smiling as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

She sang softly, joining in on the singing, “Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near us once more. Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow, hang a shining star upon the highest bough, and have yourself a merry little Christmas now.”

He kissed her temple, feeling hopeful. Maybe things would turn out just fine after all.
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CarpeDiemBaby
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// Sunglasses indoors.
[ * ]
Aww!! This was so great!! I loved it! :heart: :heart:
James's feelings and thoughts were so deep and cute! :D

Thanks to the girl who wrote it! I wish to know who was, to give her a big cyber hug! :P Thanks again and Merry Christmas! :heart: :heart:
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Jamie's_Chick
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Some Kind Of Monster
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It was so very lovely, whoever wrote it really did helluva job with it. So deep and well thought out yet all packed up nicely in few pages :biggrin Amazing really :)
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Olyamet
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Jäger.....

Even thought I'm not fund of real wives in the fics, this one was cute and sweet!
Thanks to the author! :heart:
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tuesday's gone
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Poor Twisted Me
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Wonderfully written!

I must agree with Olya, although I never read stories with real wives, this one is just very warm and very cute.
I loved the dialogue James - guys, James - wife, very real and very good!

The author did a great job! :tu:
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Sekhmet49
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Some Kind Of Monster
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I loved it! :) Whoever wrote it pictured an honest, charged with feelings scene wonderfully!
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Broken, Beat & Scarred
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The author of this story has asked me to tell everyone who commented that she appreciates your kind words and is so very glad that you've liked her story. She also wanted me to point out that she didn't intend the woman in the story to be a real wife, just a fictional character.
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