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| Mistakes; James and Dave, rehab, gen | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: January 25, 2013, 12:49 am (304 Views) | |
| kirkhammettismyman | January 25, 2013, 12:49 am Post #1 |
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I was just a name in your little black book.
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Four walls contained him. A prisoner of his own choosing he was seperated from his family, his friends, all that he loved and cared about until... Until he shaped up or got kicked out. There was no end date. There was no 30 day program that could help him. He needed to be free from temptation and his life was rife with temptation. He had to be caged temporarily to finally be free of his demons. His internal dialogue was full of self-loathing and hatred. He felt guilty, ashamed, unworthy of the love he recieved from his wife and their children. He had lied, cheated, and betrayed. And if she had known all that he done he would probably never see her ever again. And yet when he traced his mind back again there were 3 more dark spots in his past that he had to reconcile. Jason. God he had treated him so terribly. 15 years and just 3 song writing credits for a start. The crap he had given him on stage. God he must have embarassed him. The verbal abuse. Keeping him at arms length. He was the fill in, it wasn't said but everyone knew, Jason wasn't in because he wasn't Cliff. Cliff. His friend, his bandmate, his brother. He was long gone, 15 years had passed. And yet he had never dealt with the loss in any real sort of way. They had auditioned a new bass player the day after the funeral. THE DAY AFTER! They were just kids, they couldn't deal with that loss on their own. But they were men, and they couldn't admit any sort of vulnerability. So he had dealt with his feelings by crawling into a bottle. And that was where he felt most conflicted. Sitting in rehab battling alcohol addiction was the man who had less than 20 years prior cut off a friend for the same reason. Dave. Unstable, out of control, at times violent, high, boozy Dave. They had been friends, once. Some where down the road they had gotten mixed up, and Dave was out. In a strange hotel, far from home, James had been the one to wake him up, throw his suitcase at him and informed him he had twenty minutes to pack his shit and leave. He never forgot the look on Dave's face. He was shattered. Sure Dave had gone on to do big things but he had also lived a hard life. A really hard life. And in a way James felt he had stripped Dave of a chance to say good bye to Cliff. The truth was that James felt letting go of Dave was where in some ways things had begun to spin out of control. From out of his pocket he fished a tattered black address book and quickly began flipping through until his finger landed on the number he wanted. He picked up the phone from the bed side table and punched in the numbers. He held the phone tentatively to his cheek and jumped a mile when the ringing stopped. "Hello?" The call was answered with a question. "Dave?" "Yeah...." he could hear an air of skeptism in the person speaking to him. "It's James." "I know who it is," was the reply. "I need to talk to you," James was nervous. "Okay," Dave wasn't convinced. "In person," James felt sick with nerves. "Who died?" "No one died, I just," enough beating around the bush, "I'm in rehab." "Oh are you alright?" "Yeah, it's just if anyone would understand...." Dave burst out laughing. "Oh this is just too much!" "So will you?" James asked when Dave had finished. "Sure, it's just kind of ironic isn't it? Always figured this would go the other way." "Yeah." There was a long awkward silence. "Look, I'm sorry about kicking you out and throwing you out on your ass," James blurted out so fast it all sounded like one word. "Weren't you supposed to say that to me like to my face, isn't that why I'm coming to you?" "Fuck Dave you know I can't!" "Yeah, I know." "Maybe you can come here and just hang out? Maybe we can be friends if we don't have to drink?" "Yeah, maybe we can." James hung up the phone a weight lifted from his shoulders. But it was just the start. How many more apologies would he have to make? How many people had he hurt? |
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| kirkhammettismyman | January 25, 2013, 1:39 am Post #2 |
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I was just a name in your little black book.
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This was a one shot by the way
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| The Cosmic Gerbil | January 27, 2013, 7:28 am Post #3 |
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Forbidden Forest Ranger
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Ohh, I wish it wasn't a one-shot...I want to know what happens next That was so sad; I fell so sorry for the lads Both of them had been through so much, even when they were just kids. I think James was very brave...I would be scared to be locked up away from everybody.
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| kirkhammettismyman | January 30, 2013, 6:57 pm Post #4 |
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I was just a name in your little black book.
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Thank you I'm glad you liked it. They did go through so much, they were just kids. All of them, it's so freakin sad.
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| NothingElseMatters | January 30, 2013, 8:40 pm Post #5 |
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Destination: Koolzville
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Yes. YES. You did this really, REALLY well. It sounded like James and it sounded like Dave. Perfect. "Cliff. His friend, his bandmate, his brother. " *sniff* Well done.
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That was so sad; I fell so sorry for the lads
Both of them had been through so much, even when they were just kids. I think James was very brave...I would be scared to be locked up away from everybody.

8:47 PM Jul 10