| Welcome to zetaboards. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| All Present and Correct; Secret Santa fic for twiggy_Aris | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: December 23, 2013, 2:05 pm (361 Views) | |
| The Cosmic Gerbil | December 23, 2013, 2:05 pm Post #1 |
|
Forbidden Forest Ranger
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Here is my Secret Santa story ![]() (James' Aunt and his cousin are fictional. I just added them in cos I needed them for the story and I don't know his real relatives ;) ). All Present and Correct By Cosmic Gerbil Disclaimer: It's all fictional and I don't own Metallica. No harm or offence is meant to Metallica or any of their friends and families. Chapter One James sat motionless by the phone, staring at the receiver he had just replaced. Such a brilliant invention. With a phone, you could talk to people in Australia, within seconds. Yet, at that moment, James would have happily gone back in time and decked Alexander Graham Bell one. He couldn't believe the call he had just had. He couldn't believe his response to it. Still, it's too late now he thought. There's no way out of this, nothing I can do about it now. James sighed and put his head in his hands. How was he ever going to break this to his band mates? ******************************* James gazed at his buddies as they sat at the table, eating dinner. Lars was making his sausages have a duel. Jason was eating with the nice manners of somebody who was at tea with the vicar. Kirk was nibbling at a piece of lettuce from his salad. "Aaaargh, you got me!" Lars cried and he pressed one sausage down into a tomato. "Blood everywhere...it's a mortal wound". "Hey guys" James began. "It'll be Christmas soon". Jason glanced at the calendar on the wall. "Yeah, in two weeks". "I've got your present James, it's OK" said Lars. "Nah, that's not what I meant" said James. Lars licked tomato juice off his fingers and looked at him attentively. Kirk and Jason were also listening. James took a deep breath. OK, let's do it! "Well, it is sorta to do with presents" James began. "Cos we're all lucky. We're all getting presents, unlike the poor kids". "Which kids, James?" Kirk asked. "The ones at the kid's home, where my aunt helps out at". Kirk, Jason and Lars all looked sufficiently sympathetic. So far, so good. James continued. "It really sucks for those poor kids, especially at Christmas time. My aunt is really nice though and she and some of the other ladies have organised a big party for them on Saturday". "That is good" said Jason brightly. Lars and Kirk nodded in agreement. "Yeah. So you see, when my aunt told me about those poor, hungry kids, with worn out clothes and no new toys and she asked me if we'd mind helping out at the Christmas party. I said yeah cus if I'd have said no, we'd have looked like right assholes, wouldn't we?" James gave them his best Disagree with me and fear the consequences glare. Lars, Kirk and Jason looked at each other. Then they looked at James. "Awww, James, of course we'll help" said Lars. "Yeah" Kirk agreed. "It'll be neat to help the kids". "Absolutely dude" Jason finished up. James sighed in relief. "Great! That's brilliant. I just knew I could rely on you guys". "Of course you could" Lars reassured the singer. James nodded and smiled. "Oh yeah, by the way, it's fancy dress!" Chapter Two "It is so good of you boys to be doing this" James' Aunt Penny said. "What with cooking the food, buying the presents and decorating the main hall, the other ladies and I are run off our feet". "Um, it's cool Auntie" said James. He and his band mates were in Aunt Penny's living room, being given their instructions. Four large cardboard boxes sat on the settee. Lars seemed interested in opening them but James, Kirk and Jason eyes them dubiously. "Here are the costumes" said Aunt Penny, pointing to the boxes. "Now, I have to pop out to the 7-11 store for some fresh almonds but I'm sure you boys can choose who is wearing what on your own". "Yeah Auntie, that's no problem" said James. "Good! Well, your uncle's at work and Kim's out with one of her friends, so you won't be disturbed at all". Aunt Penny kissed James on the cheek. "Carry on dear". After his aunt had left, James' gaze wandered over to the boxes. He contemplated them fearfully for a moment, until a nudge from Jason diverted his attention. "Say James, who's Kim?" he asked. "My cousin" replied James. "She's studying fashion design at college". "Is she hot?" "Here, have a costume" said James, thrusting a box into Jasons' arms. Lars eagerly opened the box nearest to him and Kirk backed away until he bumped against the wall. "Come on Kirk, stop being such a fucking wimp" James grumbled. "They're costumes, they won't fucking bite you or anything". "Well, what outfits are they?" Kirk asked. There was a Santa costume, a Christmas tree, an elf and Mrs Claus. James immediately dived on Santa. "This one's mine" he said. "I volunteered us to do this and they're my Aunties' costumes so I get first dibs!" "Fine. I'm the Christmas tree then" said Lars. "I don't wanna be the elf" Kirk pouted. James sniggered at him. "Hahahaha, Kirky doesn't wanna wear tights!" Lars laughed too but Jason stood there, frozen in horror. "Guys, I know I'm the newest in the band but there's no fuckin' way I'm being Mrs Claus!" "Well I can't be her" said Lars at once. "I don't have boobs!" "I...what the hell? Neither do I!" Jason exclaimed. "Actually, the tights aren't all that bad" said Kirk. "Wait a minute" said James, pausing from laughing at his buddies. "Whoever be's Mrs Claus, I've gotta be fucking married to!" Just then, the front door opened. Jason jumped about ten feet in the air, Lars fell over the settee arm and Kirk dropped the elf box on James' foot. "Owwwww! F...you dumbass Kirk!" "James! Language!" Aunt Penny scolded as she entered the room. "Sorry Auntie!" "That's quite alright. Now, have you boys chosen your costumes yet?" "There's a Mrs Claus one here. None of us can be her" Lars complained. "Oh dear" said Aunt Penny. She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "We'll have to get somebody else then. How about that nice red-haired..."... "W-what?" James stammered, horror struck. He whipped round to his band mates. "OK, one of you guys is Mrs Claus or so help me, I'll"... "James! I mean Kim's friend, Tammy". A collective sigh of relief went around the living room. "Ohh yeah" James said weakly. "Yeah, she's got red hair". "Well, I'll give her a ring tonight, I'm sure she'll be delighted to help" said Aunt Penny. "I also have a spare costume upstairs. I'll just go and fetch it". Aunt Penny left the room and returned five minutes later, with another large box. She handed it to James. "There you go dear. Now, I'll just go and put my almonds away". "Thanks Auntie" said James. The guys crowded round as he opened the lid. "Is it another elf with tights?" Lars asked hopefully. "No, it's...Rudolph". James pulled out a brown hood with antlers on and a brown body suit. "Ah, that's not too bad" said Jason. "Wait, where's the red nose?" "Come here and I'll give you one" said James, making a fist. "Haha, funny!" Chapter Three That Saturday, Metallica found themselves in the main hall of the Greenvale Children's home. The hall had been decorated with paper chains and garlands and a large Christmas tree sat in the corner. Folding tables had been set out and some of the staff members were putting food and drinks on them. "It looks really neat in here" said Jason. "I bet the kids will be really excited when they come in". "There's already a Christmas tree, though" said Lars. "Why do I have to be one?" "You could always be the elf instead?" Kirk suggested. "Nah, being a tree is cool" said Lars at once. "Plus, you're a talking tree" Jason added. "Yeah, he never shuts up" said James. Lars opened his mouth to swear at James, when Aunt Penny and a girl about Lars' age came over. She had curly red hair and was dressed in a chequered blouse and black jeans. "Hello boys" said Aunt Penny. "Now this is Tammy, our Mrs Claus" "Hi" said Tammy, smiling at the guys. Jason held out his hand. "Pleased to meet you" he said. "Only cus he'd have to be Mrs Claus if she didn't turn up" James whispered to Lars. "James, don't whisper" said Aunt Penny. "Now, here you are". She handed a bag to each of the guys. "Here are your costumes". "Thanks" said James, checking inside the bag to make sure he was still Santa and not something horribly embarrassing. "Um, where can we change?" Aunt Penny showed Metallica and Tammy to the staffroom. "There you go. There's bathrooms for men and ladies and two of you can change in the office". "Cool, thanks" said James. "Ok, well the children will be back from their walk now, so I'll just go and help the staff members to get the party stared for them. I'll be back here with the presents in about fifteen minutes". "Wow, we're getting presents?" said Lars eagerly. "No dumbass, they're for the kids!" James said. "James, don't be rude to Lars!" said Aunt Penny. "I'll be back soon, so behave yourselves". She left the staff room and James sighed. "Anybody would think we didn't usually behave" he said. "Right! I'm having the staff room to change in and if anybody disagrees, they'll get a wedgie". "Does that include me?" Tammy asked cheekily. "No, course not" James blushed. "You're a girl!" The other guys laughed. "Shut up, you lot! Ok, go and change quick". Kirk and Lars went into the men's bathroom and Tammy went into the ladies. Jason and James tipped their costumes out onto a settee and admired them. "Oh good, I have a nose" said Jason, picking up a red nose and slipping it on". "Yeah, that's a great improvement" James smirked. Jason rolled his eyes and began undoing his trainers. Five minutes later, they were fully in costume and admiring themselves in a floor length mirror. "Ha, do I look awesome of what" James said. "I make a perfect Santa. The kids will love me". "My costume's great too" said Jason. He adjusted his antlers. "Man, these really suit me". "Yeah, you could wear 'em on stage" said James. Just then, Tammy appeared, dressed as Mrs Claus. "How do I look?" she asked. "I'm so glad to see you and not me dressed like that" said Jason. "He means you look ace" said James, nudging Jason hard. "This is going to be fun" Tammy giggled. "Say, where are your other two buddies?" "Still getting changed" James grumbled. "Kirk takes ages in the freaking bathroom. He's probably got a ladder in his tights". Jason snorted and turned it into a sneeze. "Bless you Jason" said Tammy. She checked her watch. "It's ten past six. Kim's Mom will be back here in a minute". "Jase, go and drag those two out, will ya?" James said. "Sure". Jason pushed open the door to the bathroom and stepped inside. The wash basin area was empty but giggles could be heard coming from one of the cubicles. Uh oh! thought Jason. Getting down on his hands and knees, he peeked under the door. There he saw a Christmas tree and an elf, embracing each other and kissing passionately. Jason scuttled out of the bathroom. "James!" he gasped. "You better come quickly". "So you like Western movies too?" James was saying to Tammy, a dreamy look on his face. Jason tapped his arm. "Yeah?" James said impatiently. "James, come and help me get Kirk and Lars!" "Geez, why do I gotta go too? Are they stuck in the bog or something?" "No, it's just...well come and see!" "Ok, OK!" James groaned. "Back in a minute babe" he said to Tammy. He and Jason went back into the bathroom, where the giggling was now louder. "Steady on Kirk, mind my baubles" said Lars. "Ohh Lars" Kirk sighed. "Is this my early Christmas present?" James strode over to the door and rapped smartly on it. "Oi! Santa gives presents, fuckers and you're getting fuck all if you don't get your asses outta that bog RIGHT NOW!" he yelled. There was a click as the door was unlocked and Kirk and Lars squeezed out, red faced and giggling. "Sorry James!" said Lars. "We got sort of carried away". "My boot will get carried away up your ass in a minute" James growled. "Come ON!" "Later baby" Kirk whispered in Lars' ear and he gently nudged the drummer. James groaned. Chapter Four James wasn't sure why he felt so nervous. He had done probably hundreds of shows with Metallica, all over the world and some with very rowdy crowds. Yet for some reason, he was feeling scared and as Aunt Penny led him and his band into the main hall, James felt as if he just wanted to flee. The kids will hate me! They'll think I'm a loser. I bet they'll love the guys and Tammy and when they see me, they'll be like "Is that our Santa? LAME!" "Look children" she called out. "We have some special visitors for you!" Twenty kids, ranging in age from about three to nine, were sitting round the largest table, drinking lemonade and eating sponge cake. When they saw Metallica and Tammy in costume, they squealed and clapped and waved. Lars and Jason waved back, Kirk blushed and shuffled his feet and James looked terrified. Tammy pointed to the sack he was holding. "Come on kids" she called out. "Santa has got presents for you". There was a general rush as the kids scrambled off chairs and hurried over to their guests. Some of the staff and older kids helped the smaller ones down. "That's good boy and girls" said Aunt Penny. "Here we are then, make a nice line and let's see what Santa has in his sack". "Hewwo Santa" said a dribbly little boy of about four. "Can I have a toy pwease?" "Uh, sure" said James. "I mean, yes, course you can! Hang on". He opened the sack and peeped inside. The presents were colour coded; blue for boys and pink or red for girls. James pulled out a squishy blue present and handed it to the little boy. "There ya go". "Ooh!” said the boy eagerly and he tugged off the wrapped to reveal a plush dog. "It's wuvvly! Fankyou Santa!" "That's cool!" said James, giving the lad the thumbs up. He likes me! He doesn't think I'm a loser at all. "Come on now dear, let's get you some nice cake and cookies" said Aunt Penny, leading the little one back over to the party table. She gave James an encouraging smile. James returned it, feeling a little more confident. "Ok, who's next?" Tammy asked. A little girl in pigtails stepped forwards and received a red present. Next up was a chubby boy in a baseball cap. James handed out presents and was beginning to enjoy himself. Even Kirk had started to relax and was beaming at the kids as they passed him. "Hey Mr elf" said one freckly girl. "What's your name?" "It's um..." said Kirk, caught off guard. "Cecil" said James at once. "Hey, cool name" the girl said. "Have a nice Christmas, Cecil". "Thank you" smiled Kirk. Once Aunt Penny had taken her back to the table, he frowned at James. "Cecil?" "Hey, chill it dude, I almost said Binky" James sniggered. "Cool, there's Rudolph!" said the next child; a lad in a propeller beanie hat. Jason grinned at him and waved. "Hey Rudolph, where are all the other reindeers?" the lad asked. "Um" said Jason, thinking quickly. "They're...at the North Pole, resting up for their big fly on Christmas Eve". "Oh, yeah, it must be really hard work, flying all round the whole world in one night" the little boy said, screwing up his nose. Then he beamed at Jason. "But you're gonna fly too and you've come to our party. That's really good of you Rudolph". "Well, yeah. Thanks kid". "Santa, Rudolf is good, isn't he" the boy said eagerly. "You oughta give him something real nice, a treat for working so hard". "Uh, yeah, sure I will" said James. The boy chuckled and went back to the food table. Jason caught James' eye and winked at him. "Remind me to give you a carrot after the party" James said. "A carrot?" "Sure, you're a reindeer after all!" Jason stuck his tongue out at James (this made the remaining kids laugh). Next up was a sweet-faced little girl in a San Francisco Giants t-shirt. "Hi Santa" she said, hanging her head as if she was shy. "C-could I have a, a baseball glove, please?" "Oh yeah, sure" said James. Leaning over the sack, he began rummaging through the presents, feeling the blue ones. Shit, baseball glove! I know we've got one in here somewhere!" "Huh, that's dumb!" a bigger boy said behind the girl. "Girls can't play baseball!" "They can if they want" the girl replied crossly. "No they can't, it's a boy's game!" the boy insisted. The girl spun round and swung her fist at him, aiming for his nose. Tammy grabbed her just in time. "Hey, hey, no fighting" she chided. "I'll shut you up you soppy twit!" the girl yelled at the (now alarmed) boy and she waved her arms about threateningly. "Here you go" said James, handing her a glove-shaped parcel. The girl beamed. "Thank you Santa! See!" She glared at the boy. "Santa knows girls can play baseball too". "Come along now dear, come and have some cake" said Aunt Penny, leading her back to the food table. "It's a good job she didn't ask for boxing gloves" remarked Lars. James just smiled. "I wanna adopt that kid" he said. Chapter Five "That was ace, wasn't it!" Lars said to his bandmates. The party was over and Metallica were on their way home in their van. Kirk and Jason were in the back; Kirk trying to fix his hair as "The elf hat had made it go frizzy". Lars was in the front, pretty hyped up and chattering nineteen to the dozen to James. "First I thought I'd be real embarrassed, having to dress up but once I got used to it, it was OK. Hahaha, it did fell weird in that Christmas tree suit. It was awesome seeing the kids so happy and excited though. It went really well, didn't it James". James thought about the evening. The kids had loved him. Aunt Penny had been proud of him too. He may have been a tough rock star who scorned mushy stuff but he couldn't deny that the party had made him feel all warm inside. "Yeah Lars" James replied with a grin. "It did". Lars smiled and settled back in his seat. It had started to snow outside and the flakes were drifting down the windscreen. James flicked the wipers on and Lars watched as they swished back and forth, sending the snowflakes flying. Their movement and soft hum relaxed him. Lars wondered if the snow would stick and if it did, what would the kids at the home think? I bet they'd be really pleased he thought. "I do wish we hadn't needed to have dressed up though" Kirk piped up. "I loved seeing the kids all happy but, geez, I felt *really* dumb in tights". James and Jason laughed. Kirk pouted. "Well, I did!" "Awww, come on babe, you looked really sexy in tights" giggled Lars. "I seriously thought about asking James' aunt if we could borrow them". "Ugh, that's fucking gross!" James exclaimed. Lars cheerfully ignored him. "Also, Kirky, don't forget what you said to me in the staff bathroom earlier". "Um, what was that?" Kirk asked. "Later baby" said Lars. Kirk blinked, then realising what Lars meant, he blushed and giggled. Five minutes later, the guys arrived back at the Metallimansion. It was snowing harder and the snow was indeed sticking; covering the front garden and road with a soft white blanket. James and Kirk shephered Jason and Lars inside, as they seemed to be quite willing to stay out to admire the falling flakes. "Come on, you'll fucking freeze out there" James said, closing the door behind his band mates. "Awww! I wanted to watch the snow" said Lars. "Me too" said Jason. "It's so pretty and seasonal". "Well, watch it from one of the windows" said James. He took off his coat and shook his head, sending melting snowflakes everywhere. "I'm gonna get a beer. Does anybody else want one?" "I'll have a quick one, then I'm off to bed" said Jason. "Man, I'm beat after that party". "Me too" said Lars, yawning. "I think I'll take my beer to bed with me. Are you coming too Kirk?" "For a beer?" "Well if you want one but I meant to bed". "If Kirk goes to bed with you, the last thing you two will be doing is sleeping" James remarked. A naughty glean sparkled in Lars' eyes and Kirk turned a pretty shade of red. James went into the kitchen and returned a minute later with four cans of beer. "There ya go" he said, passing one each to his band mates. "Thanks James" said Jason. "I reckon we need it after the hectic day we've had". "An' now to bed" said Lars, ywaning again. He patted Kirk's ass. "Come on Kirky". "Just keep it quiet dudes" said Jason. "Me and James don't wanna be kept awake with your, erm...well you know. Though I'm so tired, I reckon I could sleep through an earthquake". "Geez, you guys are such wimps" James snorted. "If one little party makes you this fucking tired, think how you'll be next year". "Next year?" said Lars. Jason paused from drinking his beer and Kirk shuddered. "Shush James! I don't wanna think about dressing up again yet". "Don't worry Kirk, you've got a whole twelve months before you gotta worry about that again" Jason said reasonably. "And I'll need twelve months, to get over having to be an elf" Kirk said. James looked up from his beer. "Twelve months? What are you on about guys?" "Um, the next Christmas party at the kid's home" said Jason. "That's what you mean James, right?" asked Lars. "No, not the Christmas party" said James. "The New Year's party. Aunty said the Christmas party went so well that she's gonna speak to the other staff about organising a New Year's Party on January 1st. She said she'd like some volunteers to dress up as Old Father Time, the New Year Baby and the date 1990!" Jason's mouth dropped open. Kirk clapped his hands over his mouth in horror. Lars was supping beer at that moment and he sprayed it out in a spectacular arc. "Old Father Time?" Jason gasped. "N-new Year Baby?" Kirk whimpered. "And 1990". James' lip twitched. Lars wiped the beer from his mouth. "You're kidding. Aren't you?" "Nope" said James. "I'm absolutely serious". The corners of his eyes crinkled up. "James!" gasped Lars. James lasted a moment longer, before bursting into a peal of delighted laughter. "Hahahahahahahahaha!" he roared. "Hahahahahha, I got you guys good there". Kirk and Jason were stunned. Lars gaped, then glared at James, before starting to laugh as well. "You shoulda seen your faces" James said gleefully. "I could see your minds overflowing in horror, wondering who was gonna have to be the New Year Baby!" Kirk and Jason began laughing then, too. Lars rolled his eyes, then nudged James hard. "You're an asshole, you know that! Santa won't bring you any presents if you behave bad". James felt in his pocket, where there was a piece of paper on which Tammy had written her phone number. "Oh, I dunno about that Larsie" he said, with a wicked grin. The End Edited by The Cosmic Gerbil, December 23, 2013, 2:16 pm.
|
![]() |
|
| ZombieCake | December 26, 2013, 7:47 pm Post #2 |
|
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Awwww this was soooo cute! It reminds me to that pic where all were dresses up like santa claus!! I swear that I would pay for seeing that. Im pretty sure that would br awesome to see kirk as an elf with tights! Hahaha As always, awesome story, and great writer you are! ;) |
![]() |
|
| The Cosmic Gerbil | December 27, 2013, 12:53 pm Post #3 |
|
Forbidden Forest Ranger
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Thank you Oh gosh, I remember that piccie now; that was awesome I just had to write Kirk being in tights xD I could imagine him getting embarrassed but Lars liking it Glad you enjoyed the story :3
|
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
![]() Our users say it best: "Zetaboards is the best forum service I have ever used." |
|
| « Previous Topic · Het / Gen · Next Topic » |





![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)




I just had to write Kirk being in tights xD I could imagine him getting embarrassed but Lars liking it
Glad you enjoyed the story :3

8:37 PM Jul 10