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The definiton of "Watts"
Topic Started: Sep 18 2007, 09:56 AM (19 Views)
Mike Howard
Unregistered

[size=7]ON-AIR[/size]

The scene opens on-air with Mike Howard alone in another compact room. The room is well lit. Howard is wearing glasses, and seems to have a various amount of books scattered across a rather large table, which fills the room up. He currently has a book in his hand entitled, “Energy and Power”

Howard: Watts. Plural of Watt. The watt (symbol: W) is the SI derived unit of power, equal to one joule of energy per second. A human climbing a flight of stairs is doing work at the rate of about 200 watts. A first class athlete can work at 375 watts for 30 minutes before exhaustion.[1] An automobile engine produces mechanical energy at a rate of 25,000 watts (approximately 30 horsepower) while cruising. A typical household incandescent light bulb uses electrical energy at a rate of 40 to 100 watts, while the energy-saving compact fluorescent lights which are replacing them use 8 to 20 watts to yield the same light output.

Howard takes off his glasses, and puts on a more serious face.

Howard: You see, Watts is meant for power and energy. The Watt is not made for wrestling. Now I know that you think that perhaps power and energy are vital aspects of wrestling, which is some cases they are, but the deniftion clearly does not mention that it is indeed intended for wrestling. Wrestling isn’t technological, it isn’t electric. Wrestling is a sport. Wrestling defines legend, much like myself really. Now, what does this have to do with anything? Well I would say but it is way too complicated for a bunch of inbreds like you are watching this. All you retards need to know is that Thursday Night’s will never be the same again once the Mike Howard era comes into play. You will witness an era of destruction, an era of dominance, and an era with yours truly running riot on every single Mayhem superstar there is.

Also, sooner rather than later, you will see the destruction of the Jebends by Nature. You see, Darla will wipe out Hayley, I will wipe out Watts, and perhaps another man could wipe out Morton. If not, I’ll just wipe him out too. I’m sure you noti- actually you idiots probably don’t, but this is getting very personal. Eventually it will become known to you gimps just who is the most dominant stable out there You know two members already. Who is going to be the missing link? Not that we need another member, but it will help having equal numbers. Though it would make it unfair on JBN I guess, we’ll see. But let me make one thing perfectly clear… You mess with me, you get your ass whooped. And I’m sure Watts will realize exactly what happens when you mess with the Dominator.


Howard, now steaming after raging, puts on his glasses again, and begins reading some more texts.

Howard: I think there are a few mistakes in this text. Says here that the name Andrew means "Strong, Manly, Fast, Brave and Courageous". What a load of rubbish. More like “Weak, womanly, slow, and a wuss”.

Howard begins laughing very loudly, and very irritatingly. After a while he eventually calms down and stops, much to the fans liking.

Howard: Oh I almost forgot, come here.

Howard directs the camera to look towards a trophy cabinet, which wasn’t in shot earlier. It does looks surprisingly full, apart from a huge gap seen in the middle of the cabinet. In the space is an engraving which read “EWF Legacy Title” He gets up, removing his glasses again, and heads to the cabinet, where he acts like a tour guide.

Howard: Look here, you see? Look closer. Wait, you probably can’t, as you are probably too stupid to realize where I am pointing. I am looking at this area, waiting to get that title. You see that’s the bad thing about this section; there is nothing to fill that gap. Thursday just doesn’t seem to come quickly enough for me…

Howard returns to his previous seat, and piles the books up, one on top of the other. He then rather stupidly punches the pile, which topple everywhere. They crash into his trophy cabinet, smashing the glass doors in half. Luckily for him though, no trophies are damaged. Howard without a word, begins sulking, and smashes the camera in half, ending the transmission.

[size=7]OFF-AIR[/size]

A pleasant full moon fills the air over a busy street. Now off-air, Howard begins surveying the damage to his prized trophy cabinet. He is almost brought to tears. He storms out of the small room, in a huge strop.

Later that day…

Mike Howard is currently waiting to order some food in MacDonald’s, with Darla.

Darla: Why are you eating this unhealthy slop?

Howard: I just need it ok? It helps calm me down.

Darla: It is certainly an odd thing to calm yourself down about really…

Staff: Excuse me sir, may I take your order?

Howard: Yes, I want a double cheeseburger, NOW!

Staff: Sorry sir we have ran out of cheeseburgers, is there anything else you want instead?

Howard: You WHAT?! RAN OUT?! THAT IS A LOAD OF BULL AND YOU KNOW IT! NOW I WANT THAT DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER NOW!!!

Staff: I’m sorry sir there is nothing I can do it.

Howard: THERE WILL BE WHEN I STICK THIS FIST IN YOUR FACE!

Darla: Mike calm down! Sorry about him.

Staff: I’m sorry too, security!

Two big security guards, even bigger than Howard enter the scene, and grab Howard and throw him out of the store. Howard screams and shouts, and attempts to re-enter on numerous occasions, just to be stopped again by the big security guards, who must weigh at least 300 lbs each.

Howard: THIS ISN’T OVER! YOU JUST WAIT!

Darla: Mike, IT IS A CHEESEBUGER! You can go into any general store and pick up a microwavable one for $2!

Howard: Whatever…

Howard storms off in another typical over-the-top rage. Darla stands there in disbelief again.

Darla: I swear every conversation with that man ends with “Whatever”. Just like a teenage girl… He really needs to sort himself out if he really wants to stand a chance against.

Darla eventually walks off behind him. In the background a few people walking by with EWF T-Shirts are spotted, insulting Howard.

EWF Fan 1: HOWARD YOU SUCK!

EWF Fan 2: WATTS IS GOING TO CANE YOU!

EWF Fan 3: DARLA’S DATING ME!

Howard turns around to the third comment, and grabs the fan by his shirt.

Howard: What did you say punk?

Darla: Mike for god’s sake leave it, he’s a dumb fan who’s messing around. You’ve been taking stick from them ever since you’ve entered the EWF. Seriously though, it is not worth it.

EWF Fan 1: Yeah listen to the Stripper champion Howard.

EWF Fan 2: SLUT!

Darla: What did you say?

EWF Fans 1 and 2: SLUT!

Darla: Mike, ignore what I said. Now it is worth it. Stupid kids.

Howard throws the shirt of the third fan and chucks him out of the way. Darla, enraged by the previous comments by fans 1 and 2, and unleashes a few stinging slaps to the two fans. They close her down, as though they were about to pounce on her. As that happens however, Howard comes from nowhere and grabs both men, hoists them up, and throws them into a nearby hedge.

Howard: You still think I suck? You want to mess with me again you punks, then your punishment will be even worse. Let’s go Darla.

Darla (a bit shaken up): Right behind you Mike.

Howard and Darla walk off into the darkness, holding hands…

[size=14]END[/size]
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