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Getting Comfortable
Topic Started: Sep 19 2007, 09:34 PM (26 Views)
Andrew Watts
Unregistered

Getting Comfortable



The cameras fade in to the locker room of the LBN. It is amazingly huge. The locker room is almost as big as a normal family home. It is a three room locker room along with a bathroom. A nice entertainment center with an xbox 360, many games, a dvd player, top of the line, lots of movies, a huge sixty five inch plasma screen television, two black leather couches, a nice glass table and the walls a nice white color with picture frames and various decorations on the walls. A light flips on lighting the room a dim blue color. Very classy yet very original. A figure is seen walk in, a pair of casual shorts, a white tank top, and a pair of sunglasses. The figure turns around to reveal Andrew Watts. His hair neatly gelled, and a bag in his hand. A black leather bag that contains all of his wrestling gear. He throws the back on the couch, taking off his sunglasses and placing them on the glass table in front of him. Andrew flops out on the couch as he looks up to see a camera man. He looks exauhsted from his flight to the arena. He shakes his head and throws his hand on his forehead.

AW: Good god I can never get a break from you fuckers can I? You are everywhere. My house, my shower, when I am trying to take a shit, when I'm fucking girls, when I am jerking it to playboy, wherever the hell I am you F*ck faces are always there aren't you? It's like you camera men are attatched to my hip. And if you aren't there when I am doing something you automatically get a video of it somehow. Like that game of football I played with the Browns last week. I do a little practice game for training with the Cleveland starters and you guys somehow broadcast it all over the internet, everywhere, news channels. I just don't get why I can not live a normal life without the paparazzi everywhere? You people call me a big star. But I am just doing what I love, just like a cop, or a fireman. A lawyer whatever.

Andrew shakes his head as he puts his feet up on the couch, kicking off his pair of brown sandles. He puts them on the arm rest as he lays back and waits for the camera man to go away. However after about twenty seconds he realizes that the camera man wants him to cut a promo and that is exactly what he must do.

AW: Alright you win. You want a promo EWF? I will do it for my fans. For the people who motivate me, for the people who cheer me on and get in my opponents head when I am getting beat up and help me get the upper hand. For those people who will help me out as I go one on one with Mike Howard. That is why I am doing this promo. To entertain my fans. Not these douche bag camera men.

Watts stands up, he looks at the camera, tucking in his shirt, pulling up his pants, messing with his hair a bit and giving a retarded smile to the camera as he begins to speak in a british voice, imitating Mike Howard.

AW: Ello fans. I am Mike Howard. I am from the city of Amsterdam or wherever the hell my prostitute mother had me and I enjoy putting fags in my mouth, huffing and puffing and sucking on them. I worship the queen and without her I have no idea what the bloody hell I would do. Andrew Watts is a crappy yank, I will show the world and the EWF exactly what it is that us English lads do best. That is kick ass. I will show everyone why England is the best country in this world. But first let me go pour myself some bloody lovely tea.

Watts turns around, untucking his shirt and lowering his pants, he fixes his hair and laughs a bit as he turns back to the camera with a serious face.

AW: Everytime that dude gets on the television that is all I hear. I mean he is horrible. His manager or girlfriend or whatever that thing is orders him aroud. He seems afraid of her, he is whipped and I bet he hasn't even gotten anything to be whipped by yet. I don't see how a man who is in a wrestling industry lets a woman boss him around, and is afraid of her. He looks like his farts have lumps in them every time she is around. She may be the womans champion and a tough bitch but buddy if you want to be Legacy Champion you can't be afraid of that little whote. You have to learn to be a man not a pu**y. I will once again show you what it is like to take a beating from Andrew Watts. Last time we met I kicked your ass. This time the only thing changing is that you will be bloodied up, beaten down, tears shedding from every part of your little english eyers as you lay there on the canvas, defeated, in pain, and ready to get bitched at by that girl...Or should I say manly friend of yours.

Watts laughs as he walks to the kitchen...He must be the only person or stable to have a whole kitchen in their locker room. Watts opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of aquafina water. He unscrews the white cap, tossing it on the counter and before he takes a sip, he looks at the cameras...

AW: Sorry fans no wet t-shirt contests, I am drinking this one and have no girls to do one with.

Andrew chuckles a bit as he brings the bottle up, taking a few gulps of it and screwing the cap back on as he places it on the counter. Watts then bends down pulling up a black thong. He holds it up and cocks his eye brows twice.

AW: Either Hayley was changing or Morton was GETTING IT AWN with some random girls again.

Watts takes a sniff of it and then tosses it back on to the ground.

AW: Nope, not Hayleys

He laughs as he slides along the counter to the end of it, staying on the counter, sitting on it and grabbing an apple from a fruit jar on the counter, he takes a bite and then tosses it behind him as it smashes against the tiles of the kitchen floor.

AW: So the EWF pays for our locker room. We have it for one or two nights, trash the bitch and then move on to the next one. What do we care, we don't have to clean, we don't have to pay. So who gives a shit? LBN motto. We Run The Show..We do what the F*ck we want, when the F*ck we want. Noe excessive cursing is something they told us not to do. Hell who gives a shit? The fans love it...I love it and it makes our rating go up so why not use it? Now I am referred to around here as the man. The top guy of Mayhem, the raddest fucking guy alive, but me? I think I am just a normal guy. I do what I love, I am no top dog around here, sure I may be pretty fucking cool but I would not go around calling myself the coolest guy alive. Yeah I am pretty fucking beautiful I'll admit that, but thats all...Oh and I am an @$$hole, so I've been told.

Watts laughs as he pushes himself off of the counter and unzips his bag, he pulls out a pair of elbow pads, his wrist tape and....Is it what we think it is? It's long, rubber and it vibrates? Watts tosses it behind him.

AW: I think thats Sebastian's.

Watts then pulls out a book.

AW: What the F*ck? This isn't playboy...And I don't think anyone in LBN reads...Maybe it's Mortons. That fucker better stop using my bag.

Watts tosses the book in the trash and then lugies on it. He nods his head with a cocky smile as he walks towards a room that has a bed in it. This is unreal, a locker room with just about anything someone could ask for. Watts walks in front of the mirror in the room, making sure he is looking sharping, touching up his hair a bit, and then turning to our cameras.

AW: I must say I am looking good....So I take it you want me to say some stuff about Howard the big fat mo fo ing Coward? Well hey yo yo dawg...Or sha'll I say? Good day lad? Ha ha. I think I said all I needed to say in that press conference to piss that piece of trash off. He is horrible and he knows he is not Legacy Title material. I will show him just why. Now this guy gets two easy wins to take me on. First he takes out Sebastian...How? He gets Sebastian DQed like the coward that he is. Then he goes one on one with Kamillion who seemed as if he did not even care what happened. Now the question has been asked many times. What would have happened if Watts vs Sebastian became the final match of this tournament? Well it would of never happened. One of us would of taken the loss. Which one is a hard question. We don't fight each other.

Watts walks out of the bedroom to see Sebastian whiping off the book that Watts had thrown in the trash.

SM: Did you throw my book out?

AW: Book? No, it must of been Hayley.

SM: That @$$hole spit on it to.

AW: Ha, good for her. I mean...That sucks dude.

SM: Yeah....

AW: Dude what the F*ck is that?

Andrew points at the rubber vibrating machine which is now on the counter. Morton grabs it and puts it behind his back.

SM: Whats what?

AW: Whatever turns you on buddy.

Andrew laughs as he walks away shaking his head. Andrew points at the cameras letting out one last statement before exiting the locker room..

AW: Howard, bring your damn A game. Because without it...YOUR NOTHING.

Andrews says this with passion and puts his hand on the door knob, turning it and exiting the locker room, the cameras slowly begin to fade out as the scene turns black and this promo comes to an end.

---Just hours away from the most anticipated match in Mayhem history. Three weeks we have waited to see who and what type of match it will be. Finally the time has come as Andrew Watts and Mike Howard are about to have the most important match of their lives....However only one will walk out with what they have come all this way for....Watts says it is him, and according to everyone in the back and all of the odds posted on the net and in newspapers...He is damn right.---
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