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Putting the competition in their place...; Below Damage Inc!
Topic Started: Nov 17 2007, 09:48 PM (15 Views)
The Wonderboy Tom Burgess
Unregistered

We are live at an EWF house show. The arena goes dark as a sharp pyro goes off on the stage. Metallica’s “Damage Inc” hits the PA and after the 1 minute intro, one half of the EWF Tag Team Champs, Damage Inc’s Tom Burgess strolls out onto the stage wearing a black suit and tie as if he is going to a funeral. He saunters to the ring without a care in the world with his tag team title firmly planted over his right shoulder. The arena is still dark with just a spotlight on him as the crowd boo him vociferously. The crowd is red hot as The Wonderboy slips between the ropes and receives a microphone.

GOOD EVENING BALTIMORE!

Crowd throws things at Tom, who laughs it off and paces round the ring.

Actually, I wanted to take an opportunity to be serious about something, something tragic. You see, tonight, in Maryland, we are celebrating the loss of two Revolution superstars.

Crowd seem confused, Tom pauses for a few seconds then continues.

Tonight, as a result, we are gathered here to say goodbye to Riflewilly and Jay Encina.

Burgess smiles. Crowd boo.

That’s right, they messed with the best and as a result, they have just committed professional suicide and relegated themselves to the B-show. Now that The Wonderboy, or as I’m known in the press, “The Career Killer”, has shown, if you mess with me, I will destroy your career. I am the “Remover of Revolution” and you sons-a-bitches have found out, you don’t get second chances with me. Nor for that matter of fact do they get a second chance with BPJ. So all those punks on Revolution who think its wise to use me as a springboard to the top, I will get rid of you quicker than you can bat an eyelid…

Crowd are furious, they look ready to riot.

Now, lets talk about Jay Encina for a minute…

As Tom prepares to continue, he is interrupted by Jay Encina’s music! The crowd roars. An imposter walks down the ramp, pretending to be Jay Encina. Burgess seems unimpressed. “Jay” gets into the ring and grabs a mic off the announcer.

Crowd jeers after realising it isn't in fact Jay Encina.

May I ask who you are?

Sure, I’m BPJay Encina!!

Crowd boo, obviously pissed off at the stunt Damage Inc. are pulling.

Now, BPJay, I know you expected to be on Revolution for the rest of your career, but why are you out here?

I wanted to thank you, Tom.

But, BPJay, I’m confused, you see, my tag team partner, Big Poppa Jim, and me beat the seven bells out of you last Sunday and relegated you to where you belong, on the B-show… Why the hell do you want to thank me?

“BPJay” is putting on a squeaky girly voice, attempting to completely bury the former Revolution superstar.

To be honest Tom, I was out of my depth; I didn’t feel comfortable on Revolution, what with all these big tough superstars… You were right, I don’t have what it takes on Revolution, so you’ve spared me the embarrassment of being humiliated every week. It takes a lot of hard work to be as good as you and BPJ and I just don’t think I have that kind of desire to be that good!!

I’m glad you admit it BPJay, it takes a bit of courage to admit you can’t hold a candle to Damage Inc. I do appreciate you telling me that, but you’re on Mayhem now and I don’t want to associate myself with people like you, so run along before I give you another beating!

“BPJay” runs out of the ring, rips off his Jay Encina gear and quickly rehashes his outfit so he looks like BPJ again. He slides back into the ring.

Sorry I’m late Tom, I had some business to attend to!

No worries Jimmy, you know I’ll wait, that’s what good friends do! Did you bump into that piece of crap on your way out here?

Yeah I saw Encina don’t worry. He saw me and ran a mile, which is surprising considering how fat he is!

Jimmy, he aint worth the hassle. Anyway, I haven’t had a proper chance to congratulate you on your upcoming marriage.

That’s right Tom, Angelica and myself are going to tie the knot in front of a live EWF audience!!

Crowd boos vociferously; BPJ holds his arms in the air, delighted at being able to deliver the news.

All I can say Jimmy, is that you are a lucky guy, that’s why these people are booing you. Because you now have it all! A beautiful fiancée, an EWF title and a friend who is there to watch your back every step of the way! What more could you wish for?

Well, I have numerous wishes, Tom. The first one is that Damage Inc. beat the crap out of 1-Shot Hitmen and Primal Forces this Monday night!

Crowd continues to boo.

That goes without saying Jimmy, but lets be honest, we don’t have to wish for things like that. They come naturally!

BPJ changes his mood, and starts talking in a negative fashion, as he knows it gees up The Wonderboy.

I dunno Tom; they’ve been saying some nasty shit about us, saying we were pathetic for downing Jay Encina last week in a 2 on 1 match (crowd cheers). They say that those Tag Titles don’t belong to us. They say those belts are going back to where they belong (crowd cheers again). They think…

The Wonderboy interrupts sharply.

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT THEY SAY! You know something Jimmy, if there’s one weakness you have, it’s that you care what other people THINK! They think we’re pathetic for downing Encina? WRONG! We’re professionals getting a job done. What else did they say?

They said those belts are going back to where they belong…

BULLSHIT! If 1-Shot Hitmen had ANY sort of ability to beat us, they’d have done it by now! Hell, ONE victory over us, which was a disqualification because I couldn’t wait to take that son-of-a-bitch’s head off! Next?!

They say that those belts don’t belong to us.

Burgess, taking his time, steadies himself before motioning the cameraman to get a close up view.

See this? (Holding the tag team belt up to the camera) SEE THIS? Can you read what this says? Vexon? Calypso? Did you learn English at school? If you did I’m sure you’ll be able to read what is encrypted into these wonderful belts. (Turns to BPJ) If 1-Shot Hitmen were so GOOD, they wouldn’t be in a pub right now, they’d be in the RING! If they were so good, then they wouldn’t have a 0% win ratio against us! HELL! You are an UNDEFEATED Tag Team Champion in this company Jimmy; I am a Tag Team Champion and a challenger for the X-Division Title! Who the hell are they? NOBODY!

The Wonderboy composes himself.

So, tell me again Jimmy, what does it say on this belt?

Tom turns the belt to BPJ, who reads out loud.

Damage Inc.

BPJ nods and smiles confidently.

Jimmy, do you know what these belts mean?

Tom, they mean we’re the BEST Tag Team in the EWF!

That’s right Jimmy, and what don’t you do?

You don’t MESS… With the BEST!

Burgess and BPJ go nose to nose, shouting motivation at each other. Damage Inc. by Metallica hits the PA as the two superstars parade their belts all the way up the ramp.
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