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Malaki; Priest of the Black Sun
Topic Started: Dec 9 2016, 05:59 PM (62 Views)
Atonement
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Black Sun's Zenith
Name: Malaki Priest of the Black Sun

Gender: Male

Age: 19

Species: Human, Bovarian

Class: Summoner

Height: 5'6"

Weight: 150 lbs

Nationality: Barovian

Occupation: Priest

Appearance:

Priest's of The Black Sun have a very identifiable look. Besides their ceremonial garb the most striking feature of any priest is that they are a host of the Black Sun. The Black Sun, besides being the familiar of all priests, also drains the hair and skin color of it's host and changes the whites of their eyes to black and their iris' to gold signifying the symbiotic bond the two share. Aside from that each priest were's garments, durable and comfortable for the pilgrimages they make. Most wear plain white clothing with a black sun emblazoned over the heart. The Church however does not enforce any kind of dress code or attire and encourage members to travel and spread the word to all living beings.

Malaki himself wears similar clothing, for starters he wears a white headband emblazoned with the emblem of the Black Sun, reminiscent of the third-eye of other cultures. His robes are simple plain, and black typical of what a monk would wear, however he does wear a white vest over it. This additional tunic bears another visage of the church on the back but is worn more of necessity as priests are the first line of defense against bandits in The Barrows. His pants are black and worn same as the robe, and he typically wears sandals or boots depending on the time of year.

It is important to mention that unlike the many other familiars brought forth from The Black Sun Malaki's has yet to take form. Dubbed Abyss it is a black metallic looking sphere that merely floats above above his right shoulder. Like the other familiars brought forth from the ritual it is liquid in nature and can theoretically alter its form however Abyss has yet to have shown this potential. It is also assumed blind as all other familiars, like their hosts have golden eyes.

Equipment

Malaki carries with him the basics of course such as a world map and canteen as well as coin in a satchel he carries with him. As far as armaments go he carries a custom staff, metal, black and whose head is topped by a heavy ornament of a sun with spikes mimicking it's glorious rays.

Personality:

A year into his Priesthood Malaki is motivated and upbeat! His only goal is to spread the glory and eternal life the Black Sun provides to all! He is youthful and optimistic spreading the word and friendship to all. Unlike other priests and religions, the Temple of The Black Sun does not have a non-violence policy being forged in the harsh environment of The Barrows. That said, Malaki is not a violent person, and while willing to use force to right wrongs prefers dialogue to action.

History:

146 AF

Cold. Lifeless. It drifted through the blackness its journey unending and eternal. A fragment left over from the spark of creation, drifting through the heavens since time immemorial. Until now. So much heat! So much excitement! It stirred for what seemed like the first time since it had came into being,lurching into itself, a bubbling black ichor that burrowed deeper into the confines of it's prison. It could feel itself begin to boil as the rock's surface set ablaze, the fiery baptism of it's entry to a virgin world. It's form shook relentlessly trying to keep itself together as it cooled the tremendous pressure of gravity, a sensation it had never experienced before pinned it to the rock as blazed a trail through the night sky.

With a deafening crack the world was torn asunder. The hills of the Barrows lifeless for countless years for the first time felt the fiery caress of creation. The air filled with the sizzling smell of bone and molten iron, the meteor's once impenetrable shell broken exposed. It leaked into the mound, the shiny black liquid coating the bones of souls long past from this plane. It seeped deep into the ground coating as much as it could, spreading without thought. As the first rays of dawn began to bring light from the horizon, for the first time in years the Barrows felt alive.

198 AF

The Barrows had in recent decades had become a more populated area. Refugees from all over Barovia had begun flocking away from Strathmoor and their local lords, the Barrows the one place they knew they could be free. Not free of course from the plague or bandits, but people began to flock together nonetheless. It was in the year 148 AF that the Church of the Black Sun had formed. It's message of life eternal spread like wildfire through the masses. With plague and corruption rampant and hope in short supply it was no surprise the people who had nothing left ended up in the arms of the church. As the years passed things in the Barrows began to change. Bandits began to disappear from the area, and the community began to thrive. However something was amiss.

Today however nothing was amiss for Malaki. He awoke before dawn as was his duty ate his breakfast and headed out to the fields. Today was The Cleansing, his cleansing a day of rebirth. Once a year in the heart of the Temple of Black Sun, men and women of the community who became of age underwent the ritual. He was not afraid, his father and mother had undergone the ritual as had his older brother Abraham. Abraham had undergone the ritual the year prior and he was still the same brother he remembered. Different of course, but he was still his brother.

Normally by this time he'd be hard at work tending to the crops, but that was a duty of a child and he was no longer a child. As he walked up the path to the Temple he felt a sensation on uneasiness as a sudden breeze chilled him to the bone. The Sun began to recede behind the cloud as his destination came into view. The temple had been built into hillside, a former mound and mass grave of the past. It's structure was made of bone and rock, and it's shape was more jagged and crude than elegant or refined. At the door stood his family and the High Priest, their golden eyes mimicking the eyes of their Familiars boring into him. He looked to the owl on the High Priest's shoulder, an eerie creature, like any familiar of the Black Sun. It's eye's like it's hosts were golden, but its form and body were black, shiny and curiously fluid. Malaki could tell it was alive, yet something seemed off. It seemed wrong. He would be getting his own familiar this day and a the form it would take worried him to no end.

His thoughts were cut short as the door began to creek open and with a motion of his hand the Priest led him into the temple. He had been there countless times before yet today it felt alien, he felt sweat accumulate on his brow as he followed the Priest and his family. They journeyed to the back of the compound, an area forbidden to the Unclean and began to descend a spiral staircase to the basement. The light in the Temple was kept at a bare minimum, just enough candle light to make out the flickering forms he was following.

The stairs gave way to the basement where he was positioned with the other youths that day. There were seven of them, of mixed genders and races, but all willing. His mind raced as the what sounded like massive gears beneath the Temple churned. The ground in from of him creaked, as massive slabs rose from the floor. The Priests instructed each of them to lie on the slab in front of them, and though hesitant, Malaki obeyed.

The slab was cold to the touch. He looked to his fellow Uncleansed, soon to be brothers and sisters. His thoughts were interrupted as the candles were suddenly snuff and the din of grinding gears resumed below him. He lay still as he began to descend even further into the structure. Something was wrong though, the floor should have been reached yet deeper and deeper they sank. Panic began to take hold as he looked wildly around him only to be answered the a crushing sense of darkness and loneliness.

Panic turned to fear when he first felt it. Liquid, but not water, it felt heavy and cold as it began to flow over him. He thrashed wildly, his movements being impaired by the substance. Swimming was not an option. He tried to scream but his voice was missing he felt himself being dragged down by something he could not possibly comprehend. As the bubbling substance finally dragged his head beneath the surface all became silent in the chamber and the darkness consumed him.

He felt warmth. Had he been dreaming? As his eyes opened the familiar site of his bedroom window and the garden outside came to view. He sighed, relieved, a simple bad dream and nothing more. As he turned to remove the blankets he froze in horror. His hand was white, as white as ivory or newly fallen snow. A sudden gut wrenching feeling he was being watch prompted him to turn his head to the nightstand. An onyx colored sphere simply floated there suspended defying gravity by it's own will. Suddenly all was well. Malaki stared into his mirrored reflection, noting the physical differences evident from the ritual.

Friend. Mirrior. Self.

Everything was as it should be.


Abilities:

Posted Image-Posted Image-Posted Image

*Malaki's Conjured Familiars have regenerate.

Edited by Atonement, Dec 11 2016, 01:55 AM.
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Raphael
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"When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.""
I like where this is going. I'm quite interested in this church.
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Atonement
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Black Sun's Zenith
Thanks man, I'm going to keep working on this, and hopefully start a whole thing in the Barrows, and really help develop the world, or at least a small part of it!
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Kilik
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Keep it short, but embellish
alright Atonement. I enjoyed the read, though a couple of sepllign rerorrs threw me off. you used were instead of wear in the first couple of paragraphs and there was a run off sentence in the beginning. Barring that...

Here's what I would like to see. How was your character's personallity like before the change. We saw some emotion and action but not the actual habits from before... What did his habits turn into. Did he lose any of them. The only refrence we have to this is towards his brother. He was different but the same. Is this in reflection to appearance or did his personality dramatically change?

I almost feel like the church is more of the focus here than the character. Which is fine, its a proper direction if you don't want too much revealed about the character. We could see though, that since the familiar is a manifestation of one entity - you share memories, thoughts and conversations with each other. Monopolize and develop on this.

Your familiar is an orb? Not sure... Could use elaboration here. Especially as this is a reflection on the character. Is the familiar's manifestation a reflection of the church and it's hierarchy?

Also, looking back. Detail his bedroom before the induction and detail it again afterwards. You could use this to reveal alot to us about Malakai before the ritual and use it again to show us the impact on your character after the induction.

You've also been with the church for a year. Have you developed any bonds with anyone of importance?

Lastly, this is towards early history and you know how much I feel early history is important. The only insinuation you give is that the youth work the field. What field, what kind of crops. Did he enjoy the work, hate it, was it a short term means that he accepted gladly did he rebel often or especially during a friends change. Did he develop any other bonds during this time? What made him stick through all that hard, manual labor?

Finally, solid read. Make sure to go over your work a couple of days after you write it so you don't miss those small spelling errors and see if anything feels too run-on or out of place. These improvements are what I see as keeping you out of renowned, though anyone is more than welcome to say otherwise. I know I'm not the final say on these things after all.

Cant wait to see what else you have in store as a minister of the church
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