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Pierrot; Complete need feedback
Topic Started: Jul 22 2013, 06:40 AM (134 Views)
Pierrot

Name: Amis Reck
Known as: Pierrot
Race: Human, Barovian
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Alignment Neutral Evil is called the "Malefactor" alignment. Characters of this alignment are typically selfish and have no qualms about turning on their allies-of-the-moment, and usually make allies primarily to further their own goals.

They have no compunctions about harming others to get what they want, but neither will they go out of their way to cause carnage or mayhem when they see no direct benefit to it. They abide by laws for only as long as it is convenient for them.

A villain of this alignment can be more dangerous than either Lawful or Chaotic Evil characters, since she or he is neither bound by any sort of honor or tradition nor disorganized and pointlessly violent

Abilities:Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

Appearance Pierrot is small for a human of any culture, not only in stature but in girth, his lithe frame almost seems malnurished. Whilst he maintains a presence of a commander twice his height there is always an air of confidence and competance about him.

His androgynous facial features coupled with his complete absence of any facial hair give Pierrot a youthful appearence that betrays his true age. Any blemish's and notable features are obscured by heavy paint and make up which not only draw a persons attention fully into his sky blue eyes but serve as a natural conversation starter and clear indication as to his employment

Clothing and AttireDressed in the uniform of his trade Pierrot prefers to wear the tight fitting tunics of a court jester, unlike his residual contemperaries there are no bells, coat of arms or signs of ownership showing his adventure caliber.

There are no scabbards for blades or indication that Pierrot is armed at all and a satchel is slung over his back holding his personal effects.

Across his forearms there are a number of steel bracelets some are bound tightly across his skin and others hang loosely around his lower wrists. By some arcane art they remain silent when they need to be.

History Pierrot can be summed up in one phrase 'Confidence Trickster' the amount of people I am sure he has conned out of their possessions and money is innumerable. The ease of his scams is nearly worth status of a legend.

I first met Pierrot in a tavern, I had just been fired from my position as a court bard due to an assumed breach of martial vows with the Lord of the House's lady and thus I was lucky to have escaped with my life, out the window. I retired to the tavern to restore my nerves and see if anyone was interested in hiring a bard. I was about to start on my fourth when Pierrot made his entrance, normally I wouldn't have given a second glance to someone of his stature but the way he flung open the door so that it almost flew off it's hinges when it struck the wall behind it and the curious glance he gave the room. That and his appearance was so foreign it was impossible not to look at him after his entrance. His eyes stood out, behind the art on his face the cold observation and judgement of everyone in front of him was clear, his smile was trying it's best to hide in a neutral expression.

He made his way to bar, and tried to put an order in, several failed drinks later he settled on what ever was in that cask over there and paid his copper for it. He sipped it and asked the Land Lord if he could have some change, handing over a gold for two silver. Then again, asking for two copper for a silver. I noticed that he had slipped one of the silvers into his pocket. As he turned away he paused jingled the coins and turned around with a pleading look in his eyes and asked for the gold back and thrust the coins back to the Land Lords hands. Perhaps it was the fustration of the customer and the annoyance of dealing with such a picky customer but he returned the gold back to Pierrot without checking it. I was amused and jealous. Silver is hard to come by and this man simply just got given one. Narrowing my eyes I frowned he had also just used a gold as a bartering tool as well. This was a rich man.

I joined him at the table and attempted to strike up a conversation regarding the scam and his answer was a monotonous

"Attentive"

I was expecting more then a single word, perhaps a fight, or pleading not to reveal the scam. In my bravado I hinted that I would report his theft to the very man whom he had stolen from. He then turned to face me directly. His smile fully formed on his features and he declared

"Go on then"

I then guess it was my drunken bravado that forced this apon me. Or perhaps given the wave of golden light that flashed in his eyes Pierrot was inflicting some sort of malice apon me. I suddenly was unable to keep my eyes open and my head crashed to the table knocking me out completely.

When I next awoke my face hurt, blood was everywhere, I was not wearing clothes and I could see my money purse was stripped along with my jewellery. Sitting on the same table that I had collasped from he was still there, this time casually eating some oats and drinking from a tankard. His turned his face towards my pain filled naked form and smiled again.

"Don't ever threaten me again, next time I won't loudly inform the pub that you have offered to buy their drinks for the rest of the night and tell the Land Lord he can have his way with your possessions as payment"

My stomach dropped as I realised that I too had been scammed out of everything I had on me. He had probably been waiting for someone to approach him in the manner to which I had. I turned over honestly expecting a small mountain of people to be laying behind me. There was no one else. Almost as if reading my mind Pierrot spoke again.

"No one was as stupid as you tonight. Although you are correct in your thinking. Normally there are two or three more that think they can outwit me. There's a blanket in the corner. Put it on and we can converse"

I limped over and secured the blanket and draped it over my self. Feeling a hesitant warmth starting to seek back into my body. As I prepared to sit down Pierrot intercepted me.

"I would like to offer you the chance to travel with me, we are of a similar caliber. Go get your left over belongings and we can leave as soon as you are dressed"

It was a reasonable offer and I was looking to leave town as soon as possible I limped to my room as fast as I could gathered my belongings, got dressed and returned to the table. As I sat down he smiled at me again. A sinister flash of gold flew across his eyes once more. My stomach was already sinking. My head erupted in a fogginess and my muscles felt like jelly. I tried to stand up and escape but flailed to the floor. I mumbled a pleading query as to why. The last words I heard that day before I slipped into another deep sleep chill me to this day.

"Because; I can"

I awoke again alone and naked once again. Even the blanket was gone. The Land Lord was standing over me looking insenced and I was offically homeless and penniless in the space of a day. Thats why you have to find this man Magistrate, he is a blight on this world. He is a force of undue evil and pain.
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Luthe
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Luthe has given this profile a rating of Complete.

There are a few grammatical errors that could be corrected. Majoritively, sentences are complete and without odd encumbrances. I slipped up on this sentence because of the closeness of "customer/customer":

"Perhaps it was the fustration of the customer and the annoyance of dealing with such a picky customer but he returned the gold back to Pierrot without checking it."

There are a few run-ons that are slightly distracting.

It's a fun story that definitely showcases strong characteristics in Pierrot. He's not on shift as a jester, officially, but the obviously faked facade is a nice touch that keeps the crowd (and the reader) guessing as to his intentions. The simple, knowing, forceful responses let us know that he is and always has been in control. We're just along for the ride. He's intimidating and intriguing. It's a great tell, and from the perspective of the patron reporting the incident to the constable, the readers get just one final twist/surprise/trick out of it. For this, even the narration format lends itself to exhibiting Pierrot's diabolically clever antics.

Nice job.
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