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Wyn Xed
Topic Started: Jul 26 2013, 02:55 PM (179 Views)
Luthe
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Wyn Xed~


"Dani, climb into bed. ...Dani!"

"Yes mama."

"Dani, do you want a story tonight?"

"Yes mama. About the Sun Djinn

"What in the world would make you think of something like that?"

"Pep Pep told me. He said that our tribe knows a lot about them."

"Your grandfather was telling you stories about the spirits? Uhh. That man."

"Mama..."

"Dani, the stories are scary. Some are very sad."

"Mama."

"...Alright. I'll tell you one about the Djinn, but it's not happy. Do you want a sad bedtime story?"

"Yes, mama. I want to know the stories. I want to be a good member of the tribe."

"The stories of our people are full of grief, and legends of the Djinn more so than others."


Age:
"How old is the Sun Djinn, mama?"

"Nobody knows. He's as old as the desert, and appeared when the world was young. He has counted the minutes since then, and there are more minutes than there are specs of sand."

"More minutes than sand!"

"That's right."


Description:
"What does he look like?"

"They say that he is made of golden fire, like the sun, and that he has long arms that can reach across a whole camp with hundreds of traders. He is as large as he wants to be, and he goes everywhere that there is sunlight."

"That's scary."

"When he appears to us mortals, he looks like any ghinaari. His hair is black and grey with a short ponytail. He wears dark desert robes and a hood. He has the body of a strong, young warrior..."

"Like Marco?"

"Yes. But the face of a wise tribe leader, like your grandfather."


Personality:
"Is the Sun Djinn nice?"

"Without the Sun Djinn, we would suffer, just like the world would suffer without the sun. It would always be night. We would be afraid, and cold. All things would be dark."

"So he's good."

"Aye, he's necessary. We need him. But he also causes strife. The Sun Djinn is a trickster, like a desert mirage, and he can be cruel and indifferent like the heat of midday."

"But he won't hurt us, right mama?"

"The Sun Djinn is very old, and he has seen many people be born, and many die. He does not cry when people die, like you and me."

"Doesn't he get sad?"

"He doesn't. But he can get mad. The Sun Djinn is not to be crossed. Don't ever forget that the spirits are powerful things, and that you must always respect them."

"I won't mama."


A Story About Hameo:
"This story is about a man named Hameo. He was a brave ghinaari trader who spent many years in the desert and brought great wealth to his tribe. He sought after many rare and wonderful artifacts in his life time."

"Like what?"

"Well, he hunted after a jewel called the philosopher's stone, which has magic powers and can bring the dead back to life. He found the lost oasis of Kano, buried deep beneath the ancient capitol city. Hameo also unearthed the Dragon's Talon."

"That's the sword that General Gerali uses to fight the nurn!"

"That's right, and it's very powerful. Hameo spent his life securing goods for the hungry tribes all across Alendia, and he brought relics back to our people that we thought were lost forever. There was one thing that he found, though, that was so dangerous that he never came home."

"Mama, what was it?"

"Hameo was looking for the a map of the stars hidden somewhere in the vastness of the desert. Every journey across the sands, with every caravan, he would take a different route, drawing their course and hunting for the map."

"Maps are small. Wouldn't it be buried?"

"You're so smart. The star map that he was looking for was in the shape of a giant stone ball, covered in carvings. They say that the carvings are perfectly aligned with the stars, so that if you stand inside at night, the whole inside glows from the pale light."

"Wow."

"He spent eighty years and crossed the desert twice each year, charting the route and searching for the star map. But after twenty years growing up, and eighty more spent searching, Hameo was becoming an old man. He was running out of time to look for the legendary map and bring the science of the stars back to the ghinaari."

"We know where it is, now. Pep Pep showed me drawings of the star map. Hameo found it!"

"He did. And he had help from the Djinn. Hameo came back to his tribe after a long journey one evening, and sat at the banks of the oasis. He washed his face and hands, and sat on his knees to pray. Hameo knew that he needed help finding the map, but felt that he was closer than ever to it. He also knew that the spirits listen to the pleas of honest ghinaari. Hameo prayed that he would find it, and he kissed the water of the oasis to confide his wish to the desert spirits. When Hameo went to his tent that night and fell asleep, he had a dream where he was visited by a golden glowing man, wrapped in black robes and wavering like a mirage."

"Was that the Sun Djinn?"

"Yes. He told Hameo that he had heard his prayer, and said that he would mark with an ember burn on his journal where the star map could be found. Hameo woke up crying, overjoyed that he had been given the secret that he sought for so long. His journal was burned in just the right spot. Somehow, after all these years, it was an area that he had never traveled through in the exact center of the desert.

"Did he go to find it?"

"He went right away. Hameo said goodbye to his family. He had two daughters and a son..."

"A son like me."

"Yes, a good boy. They all loved him very much, and waited for him to return from every trip. Hameo packed a camel with supplies and went out alone. The trip was dangerous in the summer months because of the sunlight hours, but the Sun Djinn had promised that if he went alone, he would be safe and find what he was looking for. Hameo traveled for many days, and when he ran out of water on the last day he finally found the star map, like a giant black dome rising up from the sands."

"How did he take it back with him if it's so big?"

"He didn't. He had to get inside so that he could draw all of the carvings. That night, he slept next to the star map and looked up at the stars, and he prayed again to the Sun Djinn for help. The carvings on the map were small, and he couldn't get inside. The ones who built it made no door. He asked the Sun Djinn to know the secret entrance. When he fell asleep, he had another dream of the Djinn. It told him that with the help of the Sand Djinn Dee'eem, Hameo would be granted entry and would awaken at dawn inside the map. The Sun Djinn said that such assistance came at a price, and that Hameo might not be happy with what he had to pay for the secret. Hameo disregarded the Sun Djinn's warning, and awoke at dawn the next day inside the stone orb with his charcoal and paper."

"And then he mapped the stars for us!"

"And then Hameo mapped the stars all day, and all night, and all day again. He kept going until the project was finished, and he had hundreds of pages to describe the things he saw from the inside. But Hameo discovered that though his life's work was nearly complete, he had been trapped inside the star map. There was no way out. His price for the secret was death."

"Couldn't he pray to the Sun Djinn for help?"

"He did. Hameo prayed to the Sun Djinn and had another dream. Hameo said that he would pay the death price, but wished that he could tell his family that he loved them, and thank them for their love and devotion. The Sun Djinn smiled at Hameo, and agreed to let him speak to his family one more time. He warned Hameo again, that there would be a price. He could bring his family to him, but they could never return home. Hameo knew that he didn't want to die alone, and agreed to the price."

"That's not fair!"

"When Hameo awoke the next morning, he found that he was cuddled next to his wife, his son, and his daughters. The Sun Djinn had sent them to him, but trapped them inside the map as well. Hameo was dying of hunger. His family worried for him, and cried because he was so skinny and frail. Hameo said goodbye and died surrounded by the people he loved, and never told them that his last wish was to trap them there with him."

"Why would Hameo do that? Did the Sun Djinn save the family?"

"Hameo's wife, his son, and his daughters died in the heat of the day, starving, and trapped in the map. Somehow by magic, Hameo's writings and drawings made it back to his tribe. They are the copies of those drawings that we still use today to chart the skies and travel by."

"Hameo made his family die, and the Sun Djinn just let him."

"The spirits don't always give us what we want, and even when they do, we have to be careful that we don't ask of them out of greed. When praying to the Sun Djinn, Dani, only do so selflessly. Like the midday sun, he is indifferent. He has seen many people be born, and many die."

~ ~ ~

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The Gunslinger
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This was a very enjoyable profile to read. The story-telling style is quite different from your usual writing style, especially since the story is being told to a child. As a result, you aren't able to use a big fancy vocabulary, but that's okay. Not every profile needs to be filled with complex prose.

I know a lot about the sun djinn without you ever writing directly about him. That's good.

I would like to see how the sun djinn acts in his mortal form. This will come out in the RP, so I'm sure my curiosity will be assuaged in a short time. Still, it makes the profile feel a little out of sorts with the character you're about to be RPing. In this story, Wyn Xed has an ancient and mysterious power, but you're not going to be able to show that in the RP (at least not for a long time). I'm interested in seeing how exactly this is reconciled.

I wasn't the biggest fan of magic being used to explain how Hameo's maps are everywhere. It also begs the question of how anyone knows the story of Hameo in the first place since he died along with the rest of his family. Not every mystery needs to be resolved, but personally I felt "somehow by magic" was a little abrupt.

Neither of these are big issues, as the former will be resolved in the RP and the latter can just be attributed to one of the many mysteries of history.

A solid complete, well done.
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