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| Leonard Percival "The Lost" Faust | |
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| Topic Started: Aug 7 2013, 10:12 PM (158 Views) | |
| Hand of Fate | Aug 7 2013, 10:12 PM Post #1 |
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Helping Hand
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![]() Name: Leonard Percival “The Lost” Faust Race: Barovian Gender: Male Age: 18 Class: Vigilante Abilities: ![]() Appearance Wouldn't you like to know. Leonard's true appearance is not known to many people outside of his family, attendants, tutors, and trainers. For those who are graced by his presence, he is a tall and thin young man, with a fit build. He carries himself with the pride and honor of the upper class, so his posture is almost always upright and proper. His skin is a pale mocha color, and his eyes and hair are black. His hair is short in the back, but a bit long on the sides and in the front. His long bangs are often allowed to fall over his eyes and conceal them. On his back is magical mark. It is a series of gray lines that form a circular symbol with arrows breaking through it. It almost looks like a compass. The top arrow reaches up to his neck and can be seen past most normal collars. Clothing and Attire Leonard generally wears either white or black formal attire that befits his station. The Lost wears a suit of brilliant shinning armor with white cloth accents. It is unscratched and untested as of yet. The faceplate completely obscures his face, except for his eyes, and a single horn adorns the top of the helmet. The surcoat is pure white and devoid of any markings to affiliate it with any clan or family, but he has recreated the mark on his back onto the chest plate of his armor. He has also adorned this symbol on a heavy shield he often uses. He usually wields a longsword or a rapier. The Lost's Mastercraft Plate Armor - The Lost's Full Plate Heavy Armor has received the Mastercraft Enchantment. Gear that has the mastercraft enchantment is physically and magically unalterable and indestructible. ![]() Personality To those who go the way, he who has strayed from the path shall be known as The Lost. To he who has strayed, he has simply forged a New Path. Leonard is calm and calculating, and likes to go at his own pace. A bright young man, Leonard is very understanding and compassionate. He has developed his own values that he tries to live his life by. Having lived in under strict regulation for most of his life he has developed a bit of a rebellious streak that he has recently taken to new extremes. Disgusted with the prejudices and stigmas attached to magic and those who use magic, he now aspires towards changing things for the better. He understands the power of information, and is willing to lie and withhold information in order to accomplish what he feels must be done. He has taken to hiding his face and name, to protect his identity as he begins to make waves in the world. History Leonard was born into the upper crust of Barovian society. The Faust lineage could be traced back to the Dark War. Though they failed to repel the undead scourge like the rest of the Barovia, the Faust House became a prominent figure in the reconstruction effort. Now considered one of the old houses of Barovia, the Faust family had amassed a massive fortune and laid claims to a vast amount of lands. Considered to be very influential, the Faust family also played a major role in attaching a strong stigma on magic. Many prominent members of the Faust family championed anti-magic movements, like witch hunts and crusades. The Faust family produced many proud knights and shrewd businessmen, and by the time Leo was born, he had access to all the finest luxuries and necessities. From birth he was treated as royalty and he enjoyed all of the best things in life. Pretty much anything he could possibly desire was handed to him. As the first son of the head of the family, Leonard was to be heir to the house of Faust. As such, his childhood was filled with many lessons and training sessions to groom him to be a proper noble. However, he was never pressured too hard to succeed. His birth right alone, guaranteed him a life of luxury and wealth, even if he was never too successful in his lessons or training. As long as he did the bare minimum he would be successful. No matter how well he did, if it was short of conquering the known world, he would never be able to improve his station. Although the young Leonard found it easy to learn, and genuinely enjoyed learning new things, the monotony of his heavily structured lifestyle and the lack of pressure to succeed led him to eventually slack off in his studies. As the valuable only heir to his house hold, he was kept under very close watch and key. He was never allowed to stray from the grounds of his family's mansion, except for special events or scheduled play dates. He was told that his family had many enemies and rivals, who might use him against the Faust House, if he were to ever be caught unguarded. As a child, Leonard never did acquire a taste for high society life. Perhaps this was due to the fact that he was too high on the food chain. Everyone he met, even children his own age, treated him like royalty. They sucked up to him, pandering to his every need and whim. They were always trying to gain favor with him or his family. In the end, this only created a sense of boredom and resentment for his fellow nobles. At an early age, Leonard looked down from the massive walls that surrounded his estate and he saw the masses toiling about the town. Even to a child, most of them looked dirty, hungry, and tired. A few nights later, he asked his father why the people outside the estate were so haggard and distraught. His father only responded, "Because... they are weak." His instructors went on to teach to him about his noble birth. They tried to instill into him the notion that somehow he was better than those people down there, but he looked down from the wall and saw how hard they worked and compared that to how little he worked. No matter what his instructors told to him, he could plainly see who truly was more deserving. "In the martial art's world, effort surpasses talent!" his swordsmanship instructor always told him. He told him this, to inspire him to work hard and it worked. It also hinted to him to the truth behind all the other instructor's lies. Leonard devoted himself to his fencing more than any other study and respected his master above all his other instructors. He did this as an attempt to somehow prove that he deserved everything he had. He wanted to work just as hard as the people he watched from the wall. Of course, with all the work he poured into his training he enjoyed nothing more than participating in the various tournaments and contests of the sword held among the noble circles. However, this only led to firmly establish his distaste for his fellow. He had just won yet another tournament of swordsmanship, taking first place as always. That was when he overheard the official congratulating the second place winner. He heard the official call him the 'true winner'. Leonard was hurt at first, but could not confront them. It was only a few months later when he realized what those words meant. Because of his high standing as the heir to the house of Faust, all the other participants would always let him win that contest. They were all afraid to defeat him, because it would shame his father and to shame such a powerful man would be social and political suicide. He realized that despite all his hard work, all of his past victories and accomplishments were all lies. He had worked so hard... and yet, even if he hadn't... he would have surely still won. All of his trophies and ribbons became glaring reminders of his own foolishness. He found himself looking to the townspeople with envy and despair. As he grew older still, the various lies and half-truths of his family and other nobles only became more and more obvious to him. The stark difference between his lavish life and the lives of those who toiled just outside the gates of his estate made it all too painfully clear. However, nothing could have prepared him for the greatest deception of them all. The true reason Leonard was kept under such strict guard, even in his later years. It was not as simple as fear of the enemies of Faust. In fact, the Faust Family was so powerful that such a simple tactic as kidnapping the heir would not disrupt the house in the slightest. When Leonard himself came to realize this, he began investigating the real reason. He was appalled to find the true reason. From an early age, he was told that the perfect circle on his back was nothing more than an unusual birth mark. He was told that it was divine providence, and that he was marked as a member of Faust. With a small sting of his silver tongue and a large bribe, he was able to ascertain the true purpose of the mark. It was magical mark of all things. One meant to debilitate and restrain a person’s magical abilities. Not only did Leonard find out that he was among the wayward souls cursed with an affinity for magic, he also learned that his parents had known about it and kept it from him all his life. If anyone ever found out that the heir of the Faust Family was an abnormal magic user, it would become a huge scandal. Knowing this, his parents had sought to smother out the spark of magic inside him as a child. In this endeavor, they had even resorted to turning to the despised magic users themselves. They found a powerful magic user and paid a small fortune for their aid in this matter. Then, they paid twice as much to keep that magic user silent. Filled with despair and anger, Leonard was at a loss for what to do next. All of the news of exiles and executions he had heard about had all seemed like a world away, until now. Now they were so staggeringly real, he could no longer ignore them. Each mention of a mob burning a witch or a magic user being run out of town haunted and tormented him. He began looking through his family’s personal records. He looked through all of the crusades, the witch hunts, and trials, and saw nothing but more lies. That was when he decided that if he was going to survive in this world that he would need to start making a few lies of his own. He began to sneak out of his home. He lied and bribed his way off this estate, and began to expand his horizons beyond the influence of his house. In his first endeavor, he participated in a small tournament in town with an assumed name. That was when he found out that he was a terrible fighter. Rather than first place, he was soundly defeated in the first round. It was a lot more difficult when the opponent wasn’t trying to let him win. From then on, he finally learned how to make his opponents truly sweat in the noble’s tournaments. Whenever he would fight in the noble’s tournaments he would barely even raise his sword. His opponents would struggle to find ways for to let him win. He completely lowered his guard, and left himself wide open. In the meantime, he would sneak out and participate in smaller tournaments under his new name. There he began to hone his skills. This new second life inspired him anew. He began studying harder in any subject he thought might help him in his endeavors. Especially, history. He would escape his estate for another reason as well. He began to do research into magic and how to break the mark on his back. It took several months to find even a single contraband book, but he had enough coin to make it happen. It took the good part of a year before he made any real headway on this front. He learned of a forbidden ritual, to summon a ‘demon’. By selling one’s soul to a demon, you would be granted one wish, or so the legend went. Reluctant at first, Leonard devised a certain strategy. Finally, he prepared and performed the dark ritual. To his surprise, he actually pulled it off with just a sacrifice of lamb and a little chalk drawing, he had actually summoned a creature whom seemed could really be a demon. She introduced herself as a ‘sub-dimensional being’, named Pandora. She explained to him that she would make his wish come true, and all he had to do was sign his name with blood onto a contract that she made appear before him. As he focused on the text of the contract it changed from something he had never seen before into common text. He spent the next three days reading every single passage, to the demon’s dismay. She attempted several times to pressure him into making a decision, but he had nothing but time on his hands what with the strict isolation imposed upon him by his parents. Just like his little endeavors into town, his parents did not take notice of the strange new guest at their estate, or the demonic parchment their son had taken to reading as he went about his day. They were too busy with their business and status to pay any attention to him. He made sure that any of the help that took notice were well bought off for their discretion. When Leonard was finally satisfied, he awoke a drooling Pandora and told her that he would indeed sign the contract, but only if he could name his wish after signing the contract. By now quite exasperated and eager to be done with this, Pandora agreed and amended the contract as needed. After rereading the amended contract one more time, Leonard let Pandora bite into his finger. He then used the blood she had drawn to sign his name upon the contract. He wrote, ‘Leonard Percival “The Lost” Faust,’ as his name. As he did this, he knew that his soul would be forfeit. Although, he still had no idea what that actually meant, despite his many hours poring over the documents. With the document signed, all Leonard had to do was name his wish and it would be his. He pondered over his strategy once last time. He wondered if it would work, still unsure, but with the document signed there was no going back. “What I want is your soul, Pandora,” he finally stated. To Leonard saw the irritation on Pandora’s face begin to melt away. For a moment, it made him regret his decision to move forward with this stratagem. She began to cackle wildly, before finally calling out in a tremendous voice. “So be it!” she shook the entire estate as she roared. In this way, Leonard became bound to his magical familiar, a supposed ‘demon’ from another realm, a self-proclaimed ‘sub-dimensional’ being. She began training him to tap into the suppressed magical potential hidden deep within him. With her help, he managed to break through the mark on his back, changing in into a new mark of his own. “Have you been sleeping well?” Leonard was shocked to hear his father grace him with such a simple pleasantry, and he instantly knew it meant much more than what was said on the surface. “Just a few nightmares, nothing more…” he finally responded. “Well you look haggard. Remember, you represent the Faust family in all that you do. You must keep up appearances,” he lectured to Leonard from behind the ledger he was going over. Leonard swallowed hard before replying. “Yes, sir,” he said, before quickly retreating. Leonard knew that his father was on to him, despite how well he thought he had covered his tracks, but Leonard would not stop. He couldn’t. He was on the verge of something great, something new. Having seen through his family’s lies, Leonard had embraced his magical nature. Many of his ancestors had used the anti-magic movement to build up their reputation and fortune. Leonard has taken it upon himself to right these wrongs. Pandora Class: Familiar Race: Sub-Dimensional Being Appearance: No longer able to support a full humanoid form, Pandora has assumed the appearance of some kind of bird of prey. She is small enough to be perched upon The Lost's shoulder, but large enough to prey on small dogs and cats if she wants to. She has a huge wingspan of 5.55 feet, and her feathers are stark black. Her eyes are a saturated amber yellow. The tall bird has a very sleek and slender body, with long tail feathers trailing far behind it. Its legs are incredibly powerful, able to deliver powerful kicks and run as fast as 25 mph. She can fly as fast as any purist bird, maxing out at around 60 mph in the air, though she cannot travel great distances at that speed. Only enough, her legs, feet, and talons are striped in black and white. Her talons are sharp and attached to the second talon of each of her feet, she has another longer, dagger-like talon that can easily kill a human being if she wants to. Her beak is sleek and curves down ward like a scythe blade. It is sharp at the tip and is strong enough to pry open plates of steel. History: Once regarded as a ‘demon’ she instead insists that she is simply a 'sub-dimensional being'. She offered Leonard one wish, in exchange for his soul. She now currently owns his soul, but has lost ownership of her soul to Leonard in the process. It still has not been revealed to Leonard as to what it means to own a soul. Personality: Usually pleasant to be around, Pandora seems to hate being bored above all else. She likes surprises and loves to be left guessing. She can come off as a bit sadistic, and seems to delight in the prospect of Leonard’s plan ending in failure. She encourages dangerous and radical thinking. Edited by Hand of Fate, Nov 9 2013, 08:19 PM.
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| Queen Vakarian | Aug 17 2013, 03:35 PM Post #2 |
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Wither and Die
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*cracks fingers* Let's do this! Appearance: Very nice. Everything is accounted for and you have a picture which helps get a nice clear picture. With his face being covered most of the time I feel like maybe you should add what it looks like in there? Though I'm not fully sure. The mystery itself can be enticing...overall the appearance is great though. Personality: Having this section alone it feels slightly empty. You mention a few qualities, but overall it feels like there isn't much to him. Now I don't know if you've done that purposely or not, but I feel like this (on its own) could be fleshed out more. That being said...WITH the history to compliment it, I can get an idea of him clearly. I am able to understand his motivations and see how his life has molded his personality. So depending on how much you want to rely on the history, you don't need to flesh out the personality. I wouldn't suggest fully relying on it, but it's your choice. History: Overall the history is understandable and the reader can relate to your character. I like how you took the boards lore into account and placed your line within it. Nicely done. Now, there are quite a few contradictions that I found throughout your history.
Now, just with the way you spoke of his family and later in the history about their image and how they want to be and their status, I just feel like this doesn't make sense. If he is the heir to their wealth and power, wouldn't they want him to extremely educated and versed in everything. I take this from the idea of old Britain where rich families would be sure to have their children into everything to be extremely educated. So for me, having there be no pressure just seemed awkward. It's not unheard of obviously (and I even have book that had a similar idea for a child of power) but I still feel like the family wouldn't just sit back and do nothing. Another is the way they go about having that symbol done to keep his power controlled. Now they pay off the magic user to do it, but they pay them off to keep silent. If they are willing to go to such lengths to protect their son and their name, wouldn't they have the magic user killed afterward to be 100% sure they don't talk? I guess that's how it would seem just given how they are as you describe them and their past. The final one is the demon and it's presence. The family obviously hates magic and have gone to great lengths to keep their son from it. Yet, they have this odd person in their home and their son has some odd looking parchment. Now, maybe I'm misunderstanding in the reading but I feel like their ignorance to it seems off. The way I've taken them to be, wouldn't they be slightly curious? Again these are just some I noted. I could be misunderstanding the family though. Just wanted to bring these to light. Moving on from there I feel like the ending was rushed. You had a strong start but right about the time he find outs his parents are lying and even more so after he meets Pandora things just kind of fall off. Maybe go back and see what you can add here to have it end more tidy like. That all being said, I feel that the profile is complete. You even went as far as describing Pandora which is great. It's good for the reader to know something about the companion rather than them just appearing. Some tweaks along the way and maybe beefing up the ending or at least have a transition from that into where the rp would start. Nice job! |
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| Hand of Fate | Aug 17 2013, 06:47 PM Post #3 |
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Helping Hand
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Thank you for your review. I'll take it all into consideration. Even if I don't completely change something you point out, I will take a look and see if I can make it clear what exactly I'm trying to convey and why its like that. It does make sense to leave the face a bit of a mystery doesn't it? But to be honest, that was a happy accident. I'm just not great at describing faces. Some of my best works are happy accidents, so I just might leave it that way for the reasons you pointed out. I did struggle with the personality section. Its definitely not my strong point, which is sad because I have a lot to work with, with Leonard. He is a man who is not satisfied with just living in hiding as a magic user, even if he gets to hide in the lap of luxury. He wants to risk his life to help other people like him. Why? Are his reasons really entirely noble? Pretty unlikely. So much to flesh out. You're definitely right there. As for your first concern about history, I will try and see if I can make it clearer. As you say, they do want him to be well educated. They do hire for him retainers and tutors. However, he is already so filthy rich that even if he does not do well he will succeed. They'll wag their fingers at him and slap him on the wrist if he doesn't do well, but they're not going to start pulling out their hairs or take any great measures to stop him from slacking off. The distinction is that he is so absurdly rich and influential, the actual result from his actions wouldn't have any serious affect on his family's standing. About killing that magic user, what you say makes sense, but thats a matter of opinion. Again, they are so filthy rich, they probably paid him so much his great great great grandchildren will never have to work. So why would he betray someone who has been so kind? At the very least, they probably asked him to leave the country, but why would you stay in Barovia if you were a magic user anyway? Killing him off would have been a small detail to add, but I felt it was a bit too cliche. They're pretty damn corrupt, but not corrupt enough to murder someone who helped them so much with such a serious matter. Killing that guy would have been just rude. Plus, it leaves possible plot holes open. What if that guy does decide to out him as a magic user (for whatever reason)? Your third issue is a serious one. I'll have to carefully consider it. You're right in your interpretations. All of them. They do hate magic. They should have noticed her and done something about it. I even alluded to the fact that Leonard's father knew everything that had been going on. Despite that, he didn't do anything about any of it. I did get extremely tired at the end. I just love writing these as one-shots I don't have to look at again. I will go back and take a look eventually. Maybe, after I try RPing with him a little. |
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9:11 AM Jul 11