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| Insanity Episode 158; Breslin Center - East Lansing, Michigan | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 17 2008, 03:29 PM (421 Views) | |
| Vegeta | Mar 17 2008, 03:29 PM Post #1 |
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Hall of Famer
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Main Event Tommy Dragon vs. Dean Michael White III Non-Title Match P.Y vs. Sully Non-Title Match Serial vs. Mr. Anonymous Tom Tyco vs. Streetz Commonwealth Title Match Hellfire © vs. AleXtreme Non-Title Match Adam Senton vs. Eddy Blackwell Alex LeBlanc vs. Kamikaze Kid Jigsaw vs. Rey de Dolor |
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| Kendo | Mar 18 2008, 12:13 PM Post #2 |
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PWA Wrestler
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Insanity opens to a familiar scene, Kendo's "alleged" drug house. The Hood Nigga is once again sitting on the couch with Kevin Carter and Royce, Chris Carter is seen asleep on the floor beside the couch. Kendo pulls out a cell phone and dials up a number. After waiting for a few moments, the screen splits into two, with Mario Woosey in the Revolution Inc. offices. Mario: Revolution Inc., this is Mario Woosey, talk to me. Kendo: Aye Cracka-Boy, put Kyle on the phone! Mario: Who is this? Kendo: Nigga don't play stupid with me. Put Kyle on the phone. Mario: I'm sorry Mr. Cent, Kyle isn't here. Kendo: Mario I'ma beat your ass if you don't put tha White Nigga on the phone. This Kendo, nigga! Mario: Oh! One moment my nigger. Kendo: Cracka what you say!? Mario quickly hands the phone off-screen, where Kyle Rieger is standing. Kyle puts the phone to his ear and speaks Kyle: Sorry, Kendo. We've been having some problems this week. Whats up? Kendo: My nigga! You comin' to my hood this week, right? Kyle: Absolutely. I'm gonna need the exact coordinates for the Teleporter. Kendo: Nigga you know I can't give you that. I got two bus tickets comin your way. Just hop on. The driver knows where to go. Kyle: A bus? Well, I guess Mario and I can do that for you, my man. Kendo: Mario? The fuck he comin' for? Kyle: Business. We have to make him more marketable to the niggas. He had a little incident with 50 Cent last week. Didn't turn out too good. Kendo: Aight, shit, I guess so. Tell that nigga to act right, or I'ma fuck his ass up. With that, Kendo hangs up the phone. The screen now expands to just Mario and Kyle, in the offices. Mario: What did he say? We're taking a bus? Kyle: He said he can't wait to see you. Mario looks excited, and the two proceed to the lobby, where their tickets are waiting. |
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| Kyle The Freak Rieger | Mar 18 2008, 01:41 PM Post #3 |
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PWA's Resident ROHbot
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*The Next scene focuses on Mario Woosey and Kyle Rieger riding a broken down, busted up, bus. Every single seat is torn, the brakes are shot, the acceleration glugs along, the tail lights are busted, and the driver appears to be a meth head. Mario has a really frightened look in his eye, while Kyle just is relaxing and enjoying the ride. Mario pulls out his cell phone, leaving Kyle to wonder why.* Kyle: Mario who the hell are you callin? Mario: I've never stepped foot in a ghetto before, so I'm calling the blackest man I know for advice. *The Camera once again goes to split screen focusing on a phone on a coffee table, the phone begins to vibrate and a withered black hand picks it up. He holds the phone up to his head, and its comedic legend Bill Cobsy.* Bill: KOO KOO CA JEW Mario: Bill hey its Mario, I got a problem I need your help with. Bill: WHAT YA GOT THERE? Mario: Well I'm in going to a bad part of town, filled with many Negroes, and as the blackest man I could think of I need your help, what can i do to make peace. Bill: YA SEE THE KIDS, THEY LISTEN TO THE RAP, WHICH GIVES THEM THE BRAIN DAMAGE. Mario: You are saying they're all retarded. Bill: WITH THE HIPPIN, AND THE HOPPIN, AND THE BIPPIN, AND THE BOPPIN, SO THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE JAZZ IS ALL ABOUT, YA SEE. Mario: I think I do Bill, but I need some help in my favorite video game as well. BILL: WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY? Mario: Well its Pokemon BILL: POKEY MON WITH THE POKEY AND THE MON AND THE AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Mario: Ummmmmm, great thanks for the help Bill. How'd you end up meeting Bill Cosby in the first place. Kyle: That was in my days as a child actor. Mario: You were a child actor? Kyle: Yeah my childhood robbing parents figured that if they could pull in seven to eight figures, I should be able to as well, so I got gigs on commercials. We were filming an add for service merchandise and he was in it, then he asked me one question. *The screen fades away into a puff of smoke, and when it returns we see Kyle on set with Bill Cosby and a group of kids. Everyone else is playing with the toys on set during the break, Kyle just sits and mopes, he doesn't want to be here, his parents aren't with him, and he's puzzled at why he's doing this at all. Bill and his agent begin to walk by.* Agent: Look Bill, take the deal with Preparation H, its a longer contract, more money, and you are someone people trust, if they see you using suppositories, they'll be more inclined to. Besides, remember the New Coke ads, thank god i took you out of those, hell you've got Leonard Part Six to worry about, that movie is garbage, this will make your money back for it. BILL: LIL BOY, WHAT DO YOU LIKE BETTER, PREPARATION H SUPOSITORIES OR JELL-O? Lil Kyle: Jell-o Mista Huxtable, its yummy. BILL: AWWWW, AIN'T YOU CUTE, MR. MARKUT, YOU'RE A BIG STUPID DOOO DOOO HEAD, YOU'RE FIRED. Agent: Fired, Bill I've represented you for twenty years, who will you have replace me. *Bill points down at Lil Kyle.* BILL: HIM, HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT, HEH HEH HEH. Lil Kyle: YAY JELL-O J E L L O BILL: THAT'LL MAKE A GOOD JINGLE KID. *The screen fades back to the bus, Mario is looking at his boss with disbelief.* Mario: You were Bill Cosby's agent when you were six? Kyle: Yeah, Kodak Film, Jell-o, The Cosby Mysteries, Cosby, Kids Say the Darnedest Things, all me. But don't blame me for Ghostdad, He was roped in a two picture deal with Leonard part Six and we couldn't get out of it. Mario: Why do I find your stories harder and harder to believe. *The Bus abruptly stops, and the driver yells back at his two passengers.* Driver: End a da Line boys, I needs to gets my medicine so get the fuck off. *Kyle and Mario leave the bus, and Kyle pulls out his phone to call Kendo. The screen goes into split screen again except it is Kevin Carter who answers rather than The Super Nigga.* Kevin: Yo Yo Kevin Carter Up In HERRR Kyle: Kevin, Cho Dawg its White Nigga, Where Super Nigga at we needs directions. Kevin: Hey Freaky, Da line is HAWT, jus ask on the street mang, see you in lil. Kyle: Peace Nigga. *Kyle hangs up, the split screen fades back into one, but Mario Woosey is not standing next to Kyle. He thinks to himself, that cracka gonna get himself killed, he finds him on the corner talking to some Drug Dealers.* Dealer: Ya man, you hit this, yo float in the air like a bird, ya crap your pants and ya'll don care, an its only five hundo for the vial. Ya'll could sell it for twice dat. Mario: Well I guess I'll take it, make some money off it. *Mario pays the dealer and gets his precious vial when Kyle walks up to him.* Kyle: You finished doin business Mario, Cho Nigga, we's looking fo some greenery and Super Nigga, ya'll kno where I can find both. Dealer: How much green ya'll need, Kyle: A Quarter Pounder with Cheese mang. Dealer: I'll show ya'll crackas to Kendo, and we'll get ya'll dat Quarter Pounder with Extra Cheese man. Kyle: Ma Nigga, chu wanna smoke on the walk, Dealer: Hells yas, so longs it ain't outta ma profit. Kyle: Nah way, I got some Super Silver Haze, Canadian shit man, dis'll knock you on ya ass. Dealer: I like you, but ur buddy's kinna fuged up. Kyle: He don kno da hood, he's coo tho, can make anybody money, anybody, les go man. *Kyle, Mario, and Skippy the Drug Dealer begin to follow the cracked brick road to the domain of Kendo.* |
![]() Accomplishments Hardcore 1x European 1x Tag 1x Intercontinental 1x 2008 Three Hours of Power Winner | |
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| P.Y | Mar 18 2008, 04:08 PM Post #4 |
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Soon the guys running the show decide to cut back to ringside – but it’s not a match that is about to begin. No, instead it is the image of both Johnny and Donny Thunder, sitting at their announcer’s desk with a few papers in hand. Fortunately it’s not a camera bluff that reveals the pair absorbed within their script – they know exactly what to say as both stare into the lens. JOHNNY: “Well folks, we would once again like to welcome you to yet another action packed edition of Monday Night Insanity, coming to you live from the packed Breslin Centre in Eats Lansing, Michigan –” DONNY: “But it was last weeks show in Nebraska where our PWA World Champion found out just who he would be facing at the upcoming PPV, Massacre. Lets look at the tape.”
Cutting back to ringside, Johnny and Donny once again take. JOHNNY: “I’m not 100% sure on what Piccie Smalls was on about –” DONNY: “Probably because he was drunk, no doubt.” JOHNNY: “– But I have to agree with the general consensus on this one – was he talking about Revolution Inc?” DONNY: “I’d put money on it – but when it comes to putting money on a particular person, however, then I have no idea. It could be any of them! Hopefully we will find out the answer to Piccie's little 'riddle' tonight!” And with that little recap, the segment draws to a close. |
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| Tom Tyco | Mar 19 2008, 05:44 PM Post #5 |
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Tom Turner Tyco is standing amid the ring with a mic and ready to rant. Tom Turner Tyco: East Lansing! Why did you vote Hillary Clinton? Oh yeah - you didn't have a choice! Douchebag state! *The cheers and boos a-mix come from the statement* Thank you and good night. Oh, and one more thing; PLAY THE POJOTRON! Clue One Hint Don't follow the words, follow the letters. Every clue given will hide the true clue within. Clue Two Hint Look for the origin. ~Clue Three~ esus ev itaneht xana rof em an reh tonasit ahw Can you figure out the clue? Don't give it away. Watch next week for the next clue. |
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| Bman | Mar 20 2008, 08:48 AM Post #6 |
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BMAN WALKS INTO THE ARENA. THE CROWD IS LUKEWARM CUZ THESE SEGMENTS NEVER GO ANYWHERE! Cole: Bman! Bman! Can I see what's in your paper bag you are carrying?! BMAN CLOTHESLINES COLE OUT OF HIS WAY. BMAN IS ON A MISSION. Donny: I have a feeling the BMAN ARRIVES segment will lead somewhere this time. Johnny: His batting average on showing up after these segments is below the Mendoza line. Oh yeah, MOTLEY CRUE music is playing the whole time cuz this segment is EDGY. |
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| Adam Senton | Mar 20 2008, 09:00 PM Post #7 |
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Backstage, Adam Senton is shown marching around. A limp in his usual cocky walk. The Canadian looked around him. He could see Cole coming towards him, a mic in his hand. Adam looked about ready to lose his temper, but than heard something. A sound that was extremely uncommon for him to hear. He heard the crowd chearing him. Adam grinned and greeted Cole, placing his right arm around his back. Cole: Hey Adam. A quick word? Senton: Meh I guess. Cole: Alright, thanks. What do you think of Rey De Dolor, more or less calling you out? And will you accept his challenge? Senton: I know how he feels. He is a young kid trying to make a name for himself. And i suppose the best way to do so, is to call out the only double champion currently in the PWA. Cole: Will you accept, Adam? Senton: Yeah I guess. He is hungry for my hardcore title I'm assuming. If he wants it he can have it. Like I said to Sully a long time ago, I'm waaaayyy to good for it. Cole: I guess so. Well, you and your partner, Mr. Anonymous did what many thought would be impossible. You beat Revolution Inc in what many are calling match of the year so far. What do you have to say? Senton: Well, Anonymous and I, we would like to say congrt.... I mean you suck to Revolution Inc. I mean seriously, Anonymous and I are a couple of fucking kids and we beat those two veterans. Hellfire is the commonwealth champion, Koda a former TKW champ. It was a great upset! Cole: Agreed! Well Adam thank you. Adam shakes Coles hand and the scene fades. |
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| Bman | Mar 20 2008, 09:49 PM Post #8 |
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PWA's God and Gestapo
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Bman stands in his dressing room. He reaches up to the large paper bag sitting atop the locker. Cole barges in. Cole: Bman! Bman! CAN I SEE WHAT'S IN THE PAPER BAG NOW? Motley Crue begins playing somewhere nearby, but neither man in the frame seems to have started the music. Cole gets the hint. He flinches and covers his face as Bman feints a clothesline. Cole: Sorry sir. Bman: Don't be so nosy and you won't get clotheslined. Now, you wanna see what's in the bag? Cole: Yes sir. Bman: There's something real special in here, and something not so special. Bman reaches into the bag. It's... the cruiserweight title! Cole: Oooh! That's special. It kinda needs polishing though. Bman: No no. This is not the least bit speci- HEY USE ITALICS WHEN YOU SPEAK. Cole: Sorry sir. Bman: The cruiserweight championship is not the special thing in the bag. I'll show you the special item in the bag now, though. Through the open door, someone yells "DILDO!". A production crew member slams the door shut. Bman slowly reaches into the bag... Bman: Here it is. Dildo. I mean. Million Dollar Championship. Damn live Insanities. Cole: Bman. What is this? A retired championship? Bman: Cole, this is not a retired championship. This is... THE retired championship. And I am its holder. Its bearer. Its owner. Why? Because I held it the most, I held it the longest, and I accrued the most defenses ever with said title. I lived, breathed, and ate the Million Dollar Title. Cole: Uh, ate? Bman: Stfu I needed a third thing to say. 2 things wasnt enough. Just let it slide. Bman: In essence, I AM the Million Dollar Title. Cole: No, its physically right there. I mean, look, you are holding it. You're certainly the greatest representative of the title. There is no argument. But the Million Dollar Title is a leather belt owned by Pojo Wrestling Alliance and its affiliates, all rights reserved. Motley Crue music begins playing. Cole flinches. The music stops. Bman: Cole. Work with me here. Come on. Cole: You are the greatest Million Dollar Champion ever. There is no doubt. You held it the longest, held it the most, and defended it the most. You are the belt's greatest champion. Bman: Damn straight. Bman walks off with both titles on his shoulders. He stops at the door. Bman: Hey, Cole? Little help? These things are heavy. I need to hold them here. Ever since I stopped being a hoss, I've been pathetic and weak. Cole: Sure, Bman. Cole opens the door. Bman simply stands there. Cole looks at him. Bman looks at Cole. Cole takes his jacket off and places it in the doorway for Bman to step on in order to not dirty his dressshoeboots. Bman: No wait. That reminds me. I'm a poor cruiserweight. My natural skill gets me by. But c'mon. I'm no cruiserweight. So, I brought my Million Dollar Title on the road with me this time. I'm not wrassling tonight, and I'm not wrassling tomorrow, but next time I wrassle, we're gonna weigh me. If I don't make weight, I'll be fair to my opponent and give them a title shot, but it'll be the Million Dollar Title instead. And, since my diet is tough for me to follow, that probably means- Cole: You're phasing out the Cruiserweight Title? Bman: That's my intention. I'll have to talk to the authorities here, though. Bman walks out of the dressing room. He then walks back in. Bman: Hey, wanna carry the CW Title for me to Vegeta's office? Cole: Sure, Bman, my dearest friend. Bman: Hey, remember when you hired the Yakuza to kill me? Cole: Yeah. Bman: The feeling's not mutual. I feel scared around you. Fan jumps out from around a corner! Bman: AHHHHH! *drops Title* Fan: ROFLCOPTER. Bman: Oh, Fan. Its you. Wanna do something relevant with your life? Accompany me and Cole to Vegeta's office. Fan: I AM A HALO PRO. I AM RELEVANT. Bman: Didn't your gaming league fold? Fan: Technically I wasn't accepted into the league. But I am pro, dammit. Bman: This appearance on PWA TV was not scheduled. Fan: But our union book says you get paid if you appear. It does not say it has to be a scheduled appearance. I thank you for giving me unscheduled TV time. Bman stares at Fan. The fellowship goes on their merry way to see Vegeta. We're off to see the ownerrrr The wonderful owner of Peee Dubya Ayyyyyy He signs our cheques Then charges us lockerroom renttttt The wonderful owner of Peeeee Dubbbbbb Ya-Ayyyyyyy We're off to see the ownerrrrr The wonderful owner of our copyrights Our images can't be stolen Or used for any profitabilityyy Unless you have permissionnnnn From the wonderful owner of Peedubyayyy. Permission is non-transferable. Don't forget. The wonderful owner will send goooooooons. |
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| Kendo | Mar 21 2008, 12:35 AM Post #9 |
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As we return from a commercial break, we see a wide view of all the fans in the arena. Pretty packed crowd, and a pretty lively crowd. The Pojotron is lifeless, other than the generic PWA logo in the center of the screen. After a few moments, the screen comes to life! Everyone's TV's at home immediately switch to the flickering Pojotron, and we are brought to Kendo's "drug house." Or at least, it looks like the drug house. Chipping paint, stains on the carpet and walls, and garbage all over the place. This time we seem to be in a work room, of sorts. There is a computer desk in decent shape, minus all the cigarette butts and Corona bottles littering it the top. A computer monitor is seen, but it doesn't appear to work. Sitting in the computer chair, facing away from the monitor, is the Super Nigga himself, Kendo! The crowd lets out a roar of cheers for their Hood Hero, they're tired of seeing him in the ghetto, though. They want to see him live. After all, a recent PWA.com poll stated that Kendo was the primary reason for viewers tuning in these days. The other leading vote getters were Bman and Revolution Inc., primarily Kyle Rieger. The Ghetto Superstar has a Corona in in his hand, and takes a large gulp with a sigh. It is apparent that Kendo is also fed up with his contract negotions with the Pojo Wrestling Alliance. The fans want him to return, but how would they feel about the Super Nigga joining with Revolution Inc? Suddenly, a knock comes at the door. Kevin Carter comes in, holding a cell phone in his hand. Kevin: Aye, nigga! That call came in, you ready to talk to them niggas? Kendo: *with a look of slight joy* PWA? Them niggas finally called? Hell yeah lemme talk to 'em! Kevin steps across the room and hands Kendo the phone. Kendo presses a button, apparently activating speaker phone as we now here the caller - Kendo is currently on hold. Generic 80's rock music is playing over the phone, much to Kendo's disdain. Kendo: The fuck...? After a few moments, someone takes Kendo off hold and speaks. Voice: I'm sorry for your wait, sir or ma'am. My name is Henry, and I'm here to listen to your complaint filed last week. Kendo's joyfulness quickly turns to frustration. Kendo: Last week!? Nigga this been goin' on for a minute! Henry: A minute? Well it's good I got to your complaint fast, eh pal? Kendo: Nigga who the fuck are you!? Henry: I'm Henry. I work for the Pojo Wrestling Alliance. Kendo: Is you like a telemarketer? Henry: I'm sorry, I don't speak nigga. Kendo: The fuck did you say!? Henry: I said I'm sorry, I don't speak nigga. Kendo: ...you know what? PWA got some fuckin' balls. Y'all niggas got some god damn balls. Sending a fucking telemarketer to handle my complaint. Well Henry, tell Vegeta this. Tell that nigga I said, if he wants to retain me for dirt cheap it's whatever. I'll sign the fuckin contract. But after I do, I'm gonna sign with Revolution Inc., and bring the fuckin' company to shit! At Massacre, I want to see PWA's final fucking offer. If y'all still wanna fuck a nigga over, it's all good. Cuz this nigga, the SUPER Nigga, is all you got right now. Either give me my fuckin' money, or watch your company DIE. At Massacre I'm signing a contract, dammit. I'm tired of bein in this fuckin house, I wanna be in the ring! Vegeta, it's YOUR choice who's side I'm on. Holla. Kendo hangs up the phone, and throws it forcefully across the office room, off screen. Kendo slams his fist into the desk, and lets out a grunt of frustration. The camera feed goes staticy, and after a few moments cuts off altogether. Donny: Did you hear that!? Johnny: Yeah! If PWA doesn't send Kendo a better offer by Massacre, he's going to side with Revolution Inc.! Donny: As much as I dislike Kendo, I think this would be a great career move! Johnny: Are you serious? Revolution Inc. is out to destroy PWA, and take over! They're trying to change everything! Donny: No shit, Johnny! It's a Revolution! And with Kendo, they would be unstoppable! |
![]() ![]() Vote KENDO for YOUR Pojo Wrestling Alliance World ChampioN! | |
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| Bman | Mar 21 2008, 10:39 AM Post #10 |
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The fellowship approaches Vegeta's door. They are within range of grabbing it when Dean Michael White III makes a comment. He was leaning against the wall all cool-like prior to the comment. Dean: Nice belt. Cole: Thank you. Dean: Did you win that belt from Bman... IN BED, Cole? Bman: LEMME AT 'IM. LEMME AT 'IM. Fan is holding back a very angry Bman. Cole: We're about to have a meeting with Vegeta. A very important one. We are on a mission to destroy this dreaded CW title. Dean: Destroy?! The precio- The belt? You are going to destroy gooolllld? Bman: Yes. We are replacing it with this far less evil Million Dollar Title, if all goes well. We have arranged a fellowship if you would like to come along. We could always use another party member for protection on the way to Vegeta's office. Dean lines up behind Cole in their fellowship. They take 3 steps towards Vegeta's office and arrive. Bman knocks. Bman: Okay, Dean. Thanks for your protection on the way here. Fortunately no rogue Cruiserweights attacked us. Dean: I want your gold. Bman holds the Million Dollar Title out of Dean's reach. Cole does the same. Vegeta opens the door. Bman looks, and gets sucker punched in the face by Dean! Cole ducks the ensuing punch from Dean, then hides behind Vegeta, protecting the belt he carries. Vegeta: Security! Security! Where is the head of security?! The former head of security, Bman, is on his ass. Bman: Ow. You want a belt, Dean? You are going to have to win these here belts. Dean is ignoring him. He is trying to grab at the Cruiserweight Title Cole is holding. Vegeta's small biceps protect Cole. Bman: Dean, since you are so interested in reaching for the title. Why don't we make a match. A special, LADDER MATCH. Dean: You're on. Security comes along and ushers Dean away. He does not resist, he got the title match he wanted. Vegeta: Bman, will you be okay to conduct our business? Bman: Yeah. Absolutely. Bman and Cole walk into Vegeta's office, but the door is shut in Fan's face. He falls down. |
![]() The Chronicles of Bman | |
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| Kyle The Freak Rieger | Mar 21 2008, 12:43 PM Post #11 |
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*PWA Insanity comes back from commercial with Kyle Rieger, Mario Woosey, and Skippy the Drug Dealer still walking down the cracked brick road, shooting the shit, and making their way to the domicile of The Super Nigga. Kyle has a Philly Blunt in his mouth that's been hollowed out and stuffed back with his Super Silver Haze. He produces a Zippo lighter, lights that shit up, and gets it going. Kyle , Mario, and Skippy all begin to feel the hydroponics open up their minds, and begin to feel like brothers talking more and more on the way.* Skippy: So how ya'll know Kendo anyways. Kyle: Well he's been put in the same situation that I had multiple times before, and I figured that Mario here could help him out of it, and make him and us a good deal of money off of it. Its just fuged up situations with the bossman, an god dammit it jus ain't right. Skippy: Ya'll talkin bout that Pojo Wrasslin shit, man ya'll crackas is crazy. Ya'll never pay me to jump off a ladder onto a table an shit. Kyle: Its all about the adrenaline rush ya'll get from it tho, man that fucking high is ten times crazier than PCP, it last twenty times longer, and you make thirty times the money spent on getting wet, ya dig. Mario: Plus theres lots of fringe benefits, beautiful women, free booze and drugs, you can be a prick to children and you're just doing your job. *Just then flashing lights appear behind our trio, the siren sounds, its the Five-O. Mario is trying to hide the blunt in his hand, Skippy is worried because he's holdin, and he's already got two strikes. Kyle just looks at both of them and gives them a look like it will be fine. He takes the blunt from Mario, takes a deep inhale, and walks over to the cop.* Kyle: What seems to be *Kyle exhales and beings to cough on the cop* phew, pardon me, the problem officer. Cop: Public drug use, abuse of an officer, and I think both men you are with are drug dealers. You're looking at a lot of shit FUCKO. Kyle: Woosey, a drug dealer, HAHAHAHAHAHA, he'd probably try to sell to you he's that incompetent. Cop: THAT'S INSUBORDINATION, I'M GONNA TAKE YOU ALL DOWNTOWN, AND BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOUR NIGGER FRIEND. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? Kyle: Kyle Rieger, Racist Cracka. Cop: Ma-Ma-Mr. Rieger. I-I didn't realize that was you, please, go on your way, sorry for the trouble. Kyle: I dunno Bacon Belly, I think you owe my friends an appology. Cop: Sorry Sirs, I didn't realize who he, and you are, would you like a ride to your destination, or do you guys need my guns for protection. Kyle: Nah, we a'ite. You want a hit off dis blunt, it'll take ya ta Saturn man. Cop: Why the hell not. *The Cop closes his eyes, opens his mouth, and is all ready to inhale. Skippy clocks him upside the head, the cop goes limp and Kyle checks for a pulse, he's alive but barely.* Skippy: That was coo, how's ya get away with that. Kyle: Its a network Bill Gates set up for the super rich, but ya wanna hear anotha coo story. *The Camera fades back into Johnny and Donny sitting at the announce table.* Johnny: I'm fed up with them, Kyle Rieger just fragrantly committed a felony, and he won't go to jail, he won't pay any fines, hell he probably won't even have to say he's sorry. Donny: It ain't like he's doing any harm. He's not drunk driving while abusing children and killing puppies. *The Camera fades into commercial. Three agonizing minutes go by before it fades in on Royce, Kevin and Chris Carter waiting for their guests in Kendo's living room. Living Room is a big stretch of the word as it looks like even cockroaches would have a rough time surviving amongst the beer bottles, cigarette butts, empty take out containers, and other garbage. Chris Carter is getting antsy and a little bit pissed.* Chris: Where da fug they at man, where the FUCK dey at. Man dey don get here in seven mins I'mma poppa cap in'em when dey do. MO-Fuckas wanna keep us watin an shi, fuck dat. Kevin: Chill bro, Skippy wouldn't lead them a wrong way, I bet tha cops stopped dem for bullshit. *The door cranks open, Woosey, Rieger, and Skippy are all crackin their shit up. Kyle is just finishing up telling the story to the roars of laughter.* Kyle: I was only fucking six, and I was his agent, and hell we'd have no J-E-L-L-O jingle if it ain't fo me. *Kyle takes an inhale on the blunt before looking at the group of men before them. Skippy gets out of the way, and Chris Carter looks at both Woosey and Rieger, sizing them up.* Chris: Where da fuck ya'll been. Kyle: Chill Chris, have a hit off the blunt an calm ya ass down, we got stopped by the Five-O Kevin: Told you. Kyle: But Skippy cold-cocked dat mo-fucka. Chris: CRACKA I don care what Skippy done, I care if you worthy, now what hood ya reppin, and what rep ya got. Kyle: MANG, Ma parents threw me out when I was thirteen, I had to make it on ma own in da South Side of Chi Town. I swung dope, I sold gats, I pimped fo a lil bit, I got thirteen justifiable homicides, it woulda been dem or me, cept I always wore ma body armor and dey were jus too slow, so Cracka don't talk ya'll shit ta me cuz ya'll don know me, an gimme back my blunt Mo-fucka. Chris: A'ight White Nigga, ya good, ya good. But what about ya stoolie ova here, what tha fuck he eva done. Mario: Well I grew up in Redondo Beach, California an.... *Chris, Royce, Kevin, and Skippy all stare right through Mario Woosey. Kyle smacks himself in the head, if only Mario had just let him do the talking, now he'd probably have to prove his worth to these gangstas. Chris pulls his hand back and slaps the taste out of Mario's Mouth.* Chris: Cracka Boy, ya'll don even deserve to breath da air we do, but since we's feelin generous. Ya'll go with Skippy, ya gots to move some product, make that paper, and get the fug back herr 'fore dark. Othawise ya Cracka Ass is dead, DEAD MO-FUCKA. White Nigga gimme back dat blunt. *Skippy quickly hustles Mario Woosey out of there before Chris ices him. Chris takes a nice long inhale off of Kyle's shit and starts to cough up a storm.* Chris: Feels like da first time, HAHAHAAAA. Kyle: I kno, I kno, lets get blitzed MO-FUCKAS. *The Camera fades out with Kevin Carter passing out Coronas to everyone in the room.* |
![]() Accomplishments Hardcore 1x European 1x Tag 1x Intercontinental 1x 2008 Three Hours of Power Winner | |
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| Rex Haraway | Mar 21 2008, 09:25 PM Post #12 |
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PWA Rookie
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THE FOLLOWING PRESENTATION IS A![]() Following the sound of white noise, the image fades into what seems to be the same scene as the last “Rexclusive” as it is; once again, it is the head of the self-proclaimed saviour that fills the screen, from top to bottom. REX: “You know … it’s not very nice of you people to piss off a Monster …” Stepping aside from the lens, Rex reveals a pacing English Monster, wandering back and forth in shot looking rather irate. With this image revealed, the self-proclaimed saviour is soon swinging his face back in front of the device, continuing from where he left off. REX: “… so I guess you’re just not very nice people. You ‘upper management’ types, you’re all the same – as long as it makes good business, it goes. F**k the consequences, f**k the effects it has on those around you – as long as it pays the bills, right? Am I right? No, don’t even answer that question. You know damn well I’m right. All you want is the ratings, from reeling in those viewers from last week who want to know who’s facing P.Y at this year’s Massacre. ‘Oh, think of the ratings. Boy, they’re gonna soar!’ … I’ve got a better idea. How about you stop for a minute and think about the champion. Why don’t you stop to give this man a little respect? For an entire week I’ve been at my cell, sitting at my laptop making constant calls and e-mails to the commissioner asking – no – demanding that you show common courtesy to your World Champion, and for what? Nothing? Not even a goddamn acknowledgement?! This … this place makes me sick! This is how you are gonna treat your World Champion?!” Rex pauses to take a breath – and also to crack a smile. REX: “You know what? That’s fine – because two can play that game. If your plan is to keep this ‘revolutionary’ opponent a mystery until the end of the evening, then do it – but only do it if you want casualties on your hands. Is that truly what you want? Of course, I thought not – but I’m sorry to inform you people up there, but until you decide to show this man the respect he deserves, it’s going to happen. This man doesn’t need to be booked against his own will against yet another talentless hack. There’s nobody in this business worthy of facing our PWA World Champion – but seeing as you’ve suggested there’s a certain member of Revolution Inc, worthy enough of a chance of a lifetime – well, I’d love to find out which one it is. I mean, I can’t tell from watching a monitor, but hopefully me and P.Y can easily pick him out in person.” Once again, the self-proclaimed pauses merely to smirk, catching his breath in the midst of the process. REX: “That’s right. When the chance arrives we will find him, no matter what it takes. Enjoy the rest of the evening. You’ve been a … rexcellent audience.” A smile fades to static, which soon turns into another commercial as Monday Night Insanity goes to another commercial break. |
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| Kyle The Freak Rieger | Mar 22 2008, 12:59 PM Post #13 |
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PWA's Resident ROHbot
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*The Camera fades in on Mario Woosey shivering on the corner. How did he ever get into this mess, he's been through hard times just like everyone else in the group. Hell in Rodondo Beach one time it actually snowed and he had to wear a thicker jacket than normal. My god his three block limo ride to school was nearly unbearable. Or there was the big surf competition, where his board broke five minutes before he was up, and he had to buy a new one from the surf shop, they didn't take American Express, thankfully he had his Visa too. Either way he's stuck until he sells all his product. A stereotypical Gangsta walks buy and Mario begins his pitch reading from the cue card Freak gave him.* Mario: Hello sir, would you like to have your socks and your block knocked off, see things that only exist in fantasy, and fantasize about things that are real. Do you want to fly to the Pyramids of Egypt without leaving your armchair. Can you see yourself feeling paranoid, and feeling good about it, if so, then may I sell you a baggie of Marijuana? Gangsta: What kinna shit is dat mang. Mario: It's Frankenstein mixed with Bling Bling, possibly the highest grade hydro in the city, plus it can possibly make ya comatose if u take it right. Gangsta: A'ite gimme a twenty sack *Mario exchanges the product with the man, pockets the cash, then feels around in his pocket, he's got at least a quarter pound in his pocket. Thank god they let him sell Kyle a quarter pound, but he needs to unload the rest of it, and he needs to do it fast. Just then he remembers the one person who would need it. He pulls out his phone, dials in the number, and the split screen opens up PWA's very own junkie answers.* Razer: Hello *yawns* what do you want Woosey. Mario: Pete, thank god ur still up. Razer: Its 2 am here you woke me up ya jackass. Its hard enough I have to live in constant pain i don't need to get bugged by assholes when I'm trying to sleep. Mario: Well I was just wondering if you wanted some herbal medication? Razer: How much? Mario: Quarter Pound, on the house as a thank you for all you did for Rev Inc. Razer: Man, that will last me, four or five, possibly six hours, I can't thank you enough. Mario: I'll have one of the private jets fly it out and deliver it to you tomorrow morning. Later Pete, come visit the offices soon, we'll smoke to the dome. Razer: You're just lucky that Kyle's plants haven't reached maturity yet, and Darkside's MIA, Later Woosey. *Mario closes the phone as the split screen closes with it, he begins to make his long walk back across the cracked brick road to Kendo's. He should have the cash on him to cover Razer's grass, as well as what he sold, and is happy he might finally get accepted in the ghetto community. He walks by Skippy and has a little talk.* Skippy: Ya got the cash man? Mario: Of course, hell you guys should start shipping this stuff, you'd have a killer markup in Cali, Chi Town, and NYC if you did. Skippy: Cracka Boy, I like your business style. *Begins to yell* YO NIGGAS, CRACKA BOY DID IT, CRACKA BOY DID IT, LETS GET CRUNK, YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *Skippy and Mario begin to walk to Kendo's place, more and more people join in their walking, all proud of the little white boy that could, and his big accomplishment. Mario feels a glut of pride, he even grabs a purple fedora from a local Pimp Shop, and begins to do his strut. The niggas around all think this is hysterical and believe that this man now understands the ghetto, its rules, its ways, and its laws. They get to the door of Kendo's and Mario in a loud jovial voice says.* Mario: MY NIGGERS, LETS GO INSIDE AN GET CRUNK. *The happy mood immediately sours, everyone following The Mind now gives him the death stare, they all have so much rage built up over years of being under appreciated that now its exploiding.* Gangsta: CRACKA BOY WHA THA FUG YA'LL SAY, I'MMA KILL YA MO-FUCKA Teenage Mom: MY BAYBA, SHE DON NEED TA BE GROWIN UP IN A WORLD WITH RACIS CRACKAS. Skippy: DAMN CRACKA, I THOUGH U WAS COO, NOW I'MMA HAVE TA SMOKE YA ASS. *With his back against the wall Mario hops over the stone stairs outside, grabs a bike from a little kid, and begins to flea.* Kid: CRACKA STOLE MA BIKE *The entire community of Kendo's neighborhood begins to chase after Mario Woosey, using the boys words as a rallying cry, and joining in in a song to the password theme of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!, http://csmbpor.ytmnd.com/, The screen fades over to Kyle, Kendo, Royce, Kevin, and Chris all having brews in Kendo's living room. Kyle breaks the silence with his question.* Kyle: Hey anyone see Mario, I figured he'd have given up, or called Razer to unload the product by now. Kendo: Man Cracka Boy he be fine, it ain like he'll get run outta town by a mob. Chris: Hey ya'll mo-fucka herr muzik? Kyle: Yeah, sounds like a song from an NES game, Punch-Out!! I think. Kendo: FUG IT, LETS GET CRUNK. *And they proceded to get crunk until four AM, when Kyle drove them around in a stole car and got off with a warning because of the crime network of Bill Gates. Mario was found twenty minutes later, in a dumpster, eyes black and blue, head pounded in, and looking like garbage. Skippy went on to graduate MIT with a degree in biological studies. And Royce, he still didn't talk, The End.* |
![]() Accomplishments Hardcore 1x European 1x Tag 1x Intercontinental 1x 2008 Three Hours of Power Winner | |
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| Deano White | Mar 22 2008, 06:28 PM Post #14 |
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PWA Wrestler
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*Following the promo with the Jolson 5* With Bman still in Vegeta’s office discussing “personal matters” with his boss, Mitchell Cole is waiting outside puffing away on a Marlboro extra light cigarette. Out of nowhere the unknown man who delivered the unprovoked attack on Sir Edwin Blackwell emerges out of the midst alarming Cole straight away proceeding to Bman’s friend dropping his cigarette and stubbing it out.![]() Cole: You are that guy who… The still unknown associate of Dean Michael White III sneakily takes a steel chair from behind his back which makes Cole nervously swallow his words and lunges at Cole with a vicious chair shot to his small torso knocking down the shocked PWA interviewer; the mysterious man scarpers within seconds which leads to Vegeta and Bman come charging out of the Vegeta’s office unbeknown to what just happened. [The camera fades to an advertisement] |
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| Indystar | Mar 23 2008, 02:20 AM Post #15 |
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PWA Wrestler
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PWA Insanity returns to Johnny and Donny Thunder, both enjoying some coffee during the commercial break. Just as Johnny was about to great the television viewes, he presses the headphone in his hear and listens to whoever is talking to him Johnny: Welcome ladies and gentlemen back to Insanity and coming right now is an exclusive with the Indystar A PWA logo appears on screen before it segways to the scene of the Indystar in front of a PWA: Massacre banner Indy: How are you folks, this is the Indystar. It has come to my attention that this is the second PWA Massacre that Adam Senton, one of my most hated nemesis, has went into starting as the PWA hardcore champion and last, Adam was barely pushed by the PWA roster. Since I cannot attend Massacre, I've decided to send three of my students to push Adam Senton to the limits. With my assosiation with Japan Xtreme Wrestling, I pulled two men and one woman out for the week and are sending them to Boston. They don't know of each others trip but that will make it a good match. Here are my students -------------------------------------------------------- A dark room, covered in crosses and pictures of our lord Jesus Christ cover the walls, almost in a psychotic kind of detail. The light shines on young Joey Murphy Jr., wearing black dress pants, elbow pads and a WWJD under shirt. Two crosses hung from his neck while a pair of sun glasses mask his eyes from the world Joey: Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, and our Lord Jesus Christ will be reborn. For him, I give him this gift......when I return to Boston on March 30th, I will remove Adam Senton of his hardcore title and never let that belt's history of violence to continue. What would Jesus do? Jesus would make evil like the hardcore division to never happen again. ------------------------------------------- A hand tightens its grip around a bandaged arm as Sakura Jacknife, who's arm is wrapped in bloody bandages, stares evily at the camera. A sadistic smile forms, causing the weird Heath Ledger-style Joker lipstick job to grin as well Sakura: Hardcore Battle Royal at PWA? Anything goes? That sounds like my type of battle. Adam Senton, if you think for one minute you're gonna walk all over me because I'm a girl....welll....hehe Removing the wraps around her arm, Sakura reveals the many barbwire scars all over her arm, and they are not old, they are fresh and probably only a month old. She licks her lower arm and smiles as she prepars to talk Sakura: I'M going...to kill you. I will make you bleed before anyone in this battle royal can lay their mitts on you...You're gonna die in Boston Adam....you're gonna to die at my hands ------------------------------------------- Smoke billows around the bar table as a very flushed man, his forehead covered in scars, downs another Carona before smashing the bottle on the table Bigby: Let me tell yu abowt Mark Bigbys. I'ma very violent person and I don't like sharing my opponant wit a bunch of steroid using punks. So get out of mah way or I will show yu a brawl yu have neva seen! *************************************** We return to PWA Insanity just before the main event |
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| Bman | Mar 23 2008, 07:46 PM Post #16 |
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PWA's God and Gestapo
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Bman walks out of Vegeta's office. Gene was waiting. Mean Gene: Bman! Bman! How did the meeting with Vegeta go? What was it about? Bman: I'll let the world know next week. Mean Gene tries to get a tell off of Bman, but his poker face is immaculate, mainly due to the mask. |
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| Deano White | Mar 23 2008, 11:04 PM Post #17 |
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PWA Wrestler
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With Bman just coming out of the office following his very important talk with Vegeta his good buddy PWA interviewer Mitchell Cole comes running holding his chest following that nasty chair shot to his chest by Dean’s mystery accomplice. Bman: Cole what the hell has happened to you? Cole: Bman, I’ve just been attacked with a steel chair by that crazed guy wearing that out of fashion raincoat who has been linked with Dean Bman: If Dean and his goon think they can push their weight around with you like they have done to Edwin Blackwell and Tommy Dragon the last two weeks well he has got another thing coming. Cole: I’m so angered by that cheap ambush I want a shot at that creepy unknown man right now. Bman: Wait I’ve got an idea; let’s go back into Vegeta’s office. Cole: Bman… I didn’t mean it I think maybe it was a heat of the moment thing. Bman: Come on Cole! A reluctant Cole is dragged into Vegeta’s office by Bman to discuss even more “shop talk” *the camera fades out to another of Kendo's minstrel show promo's* |
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