| Welcome to Pearl Of The Stars. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Sick Jokes | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 20 2015, 07:25 PM (21 Views) | |
| Guest | Dec 20 2015, 07:25 PM Post #1 |
|
Unregistered
|
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates where St.Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph." Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before." "Never," said Ralph. "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal." Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the bed!" |
|
|
| Piquant | Dec 20 2015, 09:24 PM Post #2 |
|
Here there be dragons
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Hahahaha that's actually one of my deepest fears... having a hallucinatory episode where I believe I'm safe and secure in a private toilet and going about my business there, when the reality is that I'm squatting down in the middle of a crowded mall food court. If my twisted mind makes me snap out of the hallucinatory episode and into the foodcourt reality, I nearly die on the spot from pure horror and mortification. I would be in a state of utter confusion and would have to either off myself that afternoon or check myself into a mental facility where I could spend the rest of my days hidden away in a doped up haze. Like, for real. |
| Every time you eat bread Ryan Gosling is sad. | |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · General Discussion · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
9:00 AM Jul 11
|







![]](http://z5.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)

9:00 AM Jul 11
