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Anger Management in the Workplace; Stuff that kills you.
Topic Started: Dec 15 2006, 04:44 PM (1,210 Views)
Pestiferous
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Chief Officer of Operations and Quality Management Controller
Our database is down today.

So I tell my boss. His solution is "reboot". He has the main server, so he reboots.

Nothing.

He tells me to reboot. I reboot.

Nothing.

It's not working. I tell him "It's not working" - he actually says to me:

"Well, you fix it. What do you expect me to do?"

Thank you, oh fearless leader. Oh waste of space and breath. Yes, Yes! Give me a screwdriver, I'll fix the database! Or do I need a knife? Perhaps a bat? A medievel torture device? I don't know - because I don't KNOW how to fix a fucking server?!

So I whatever'd him. It's classic, simple, non-confrontational, and defeatist.

"Whatever".


What drives you people insane at work?
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Xx_SwordWords_xX
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Satan Valid
:fight: HELEN.

She drives me nuts.
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Mock
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Mock
There you go again with your mother role issues.
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serendipity
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it drives me crazy when retards constantly watch me...everything i do, or dont do or who i talk to or how long i talk... or whatever.

then of course, the comments:
"oh, i dont get to do that coz i'm not blonde"
or
"you have to be blonde to get anything around here"

i guess they feel i should be punished because i can do more in less time and what i do gets done right the first time.

i chalk it up to them being so unhappy with their own lives they have to make everyone else miserable too.

it's not even worth the energy getting upset over.

i say nothing, do my job and do it well and they look like the asses they are every single time.
B)
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Mori
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Cyber Valid
When I was a cubicle-slave I couldn't stand my boss, Rose ... that woman was so evil, she could have made my mother cry. But apart from her evil-doing, she had several irritating habits.

~She cackled like a :witch:

~She couldn't pronounce anything correctly - and it wasn't just because she grew up in Philadelphia. For example:

tickets = "tiggets"
bagel = "biggle"
eagle = "iggle"
ziti = "zeee teee"
miniscule = "min-iss-cue-al"

and what amused me the most was her complete inability to get the word notoriety out of her mouth. Once it was "nota-rarity", another time it was "noti-arity".

~Her platitudes made no sense.

When she tried to tell someone that two things were essentially the same, instead of saying"well, it's six of one - half dozen of the other." she said "it's six and half dozen of the other." What?! Did she just assert that "it's 78 of the other"?

~She bragged about her amazing teenage daughter all the time ...

and every time she talked about her, she said her name (pronouncing it wrong, God help me!), as if we hadn't learned her name the first 50 times she said it. Her daughters name was Erin. It went a little something like this:

"My daughter - Urrin - just got out of triple-bypass surgery after her recent myocardial infarction ... and wouldn't you know it, all of her make-up homework was finished before she was even out of the recovery room. Probably because she didn't have any anesthesia, you know my daughter - Urrin - she's like that, tough as nails, never complains. Did I tell you that she's planning to climb Mount Everest? She is - next week, after she removes her own stitches with nothing more than the fingernail clippers she has in her purse. You know, I had to special-order $4,000 hiking boots directly from Nepal to find exactly the right kind. I figured I could at the very least buy her boots when she's managed to pay for the whole trip on her own, working 20 after-school jobs, while maintaining a GPA of 4.0 and volunteering at a soup kitchen every day..."
:blink:
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Mock
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Mock
The poor girl, triple-bypass surgery.

You heartless shrew! :baby:
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Mock
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Mock
Staff-only private restrooms? Were they unisex by any chance?
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Mock
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Mock
If you can't blame it on the men, then the alternative would be that you have female colleagues that are absolute dogs. Which would be worse, and ruins my comfortable sitcom-inspired stereotypes concerning female restrooms. :vomit:

I suppose the fact that you shake hands with them during formal functions, is somewhat of a consolation price. ;)

:chop:
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Mock
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Mock
It was pardonable, under the pretext that a guy might have scooped it out of an unflushed bowl for wall flinging purposes. See, it all makes sense.
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Mori
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Staci - at my office (which had about 28 or so women) one "lady" actually left an intact turd on the floor - not some accident of diarrhea, an honest to goodness turd. We had our suspicions as to "who" it was, and one of the theories as to "how" involved her shitting her pants and unceremoniously dumping it on the floor as she sat ... to this day, I'm sure none of us know "why" - except the culprit.
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Evil_Henry
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In Vino Veritas
staci
Dec 16 2006, 02:29 PM
... and then not even bothering to turn around and notice that they splattered their mess all over the back of the seat. once...
bloody pads, blood clots on the seats, blood dripped all down the front of the toilet...

This sounds like my kind of disco. :wub:
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ConfusedMonkey
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Satan Valid
Sod's fucking law.

I bitch about other people making mistakes at work. So today, I find that I've made one hell of a cock up, and it's going to be a nasty headache getting it put right again.

Note to self - never send 24 books to the office of the deputy prime minister when they only asked for three...
There are no promises or assurances in any shape or form contained in the above post. Do not trust this Monkey.
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Evil_Henry
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In Vino Veritas
Our deputy prime minister?

As if he can read! :lol:
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Xx_SwordWords_xX
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Satan Valid
Helen you stoopid foookin idiot biotch!

So, I give above menitoned idiot a task and a giant database to go with it. Idiot then comes to my desk to tell me that she needs to print the database and can't figure it out. I respond with the obvious "why don't you just use it on your computer?".....


I have another database opened...... :blink:


:fight: :wacko:
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Pestiferous
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Chief Officer of Operations and Quality Management Controller
LOL.

Let me know when that position opens up.

(I have three databases opened right now.)
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ConfusedMonkey
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Data.....Base?

I fixed my cock up, with style. :D
There are no promises or assurances in any shape or form contained in the above post. Do not trust this Monkey.
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Pestiferous
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Chief Officer of Operations and Quality Management Controller
My job, however, is getting retarded.

I'm getting accused of a cock-up that has absolutely nothing to do with me - I followed procedure, I took direction, I did what I was told.

In one instance, my boss is accusing me of taking too much authority.

In another instance, he throws up his hands and asks if he has to do everything himself.

I've had just about enough at this point in time.

My boss is confused. I tell him why I did something the way I did in October, and he claims he had no knowledge of it. I produce the proof - emails. He says "oh, I remember that email"...Yeah. Because I showed it to him back then, and asked for direction, and then did what he told me.

See, I'm screwed either way here. If I take his direction, and do what he tells me, I get yelled at for "taking no personal responsibility" when I point it out.

If I do things on my own, I get yelled at for taking too much personal authority.

Thing is, he's eccentric. He forgets everything - conversations, appointments...and it's sad to watch at times. I get the brunt of this frustration.

I'm really getting sick of it.

He also has this problem of making me feel like I've kicked a baby kitten in the face every time I ask for time off.
Like my avatar? It has your eyes, doesn't it?
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Xx_SwordWords_xX
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Satan Valid
I just got a call from Helen's supervisor (an equal to me) asking if I was doing some of the work on the database too.

Fookincocksuckingbitchasscuntdumbfuquer has gone into his office to inquire why I can't do this myself.

My response was simple; "I am not going to divide up the work as it will just get confused and messy. So why don't I just go get it from her and do it myself".

I swear that girl is sucking bossdick... or maybe it's the fact that she's of the peg minority group that scares them... tokens are something we MUST keep around (apparently at all costs).

I now need a stabbing emote.


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Pestiferous
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Chief Officer of Operations and Quality Management Controller
Well, Sword, there's one thing left to do.

Start an office rumour that Helen has a nasty coke habit.

Destroy her credibility by delegating work, and not actually telling her about it. Project unfinished? Odd, you tell your supervisor - you gave it to Helen. She even asked you about it for clarification.

Do this ever so often - not too often, just often enough to place the seed of Helen's incompetence in your supervisor's mind.

Then, start to mention how often Helen goes to the washroom. If Helen actually DOES go to the washroom, make sure you comment on it to someone - "Have you seen Helen? She must be in the washroom. Again." This is called gathering witnesses. Helen may use the washroom three times a week at work, however to a supervisor he/she gets feedback from three different people that you've had to look for her.

Now comes the fun part. Using icing sugar, create little left-overs on your bathroom counter tops. Just little whisps of a white mystery powder, here and there. Do this twice a week. After two weeks, leave a broken compact mirror on the floor, in front of the sink, with the dusting on it. Someone will mention it.

Act shocked. Mention this hasn't occurred at work before, and turn the direction of suspicion towards any new employees, or anyone who uses the washroom alot.

Sit back, don't mention names.

Keep up the discrediting. Emphasize unreliability in Helen, any distractions she seems to have, fluctuations in temperament, and of course the amount of washroom breaks.

Eventually, she won't be a desired member of the team anymore.
Like my avatar? It has your eyes, doesn't it?
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lori
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that chick, you know
Lori
Wes, you are one evil bitch. I want to have your babies. :wub:
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