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hitler; hitler
Topic Started: Nov 28 2008, 09:35 PM (903 Views)
Mock
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Mock
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#101 Being Offended

To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past.  This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations.  In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy.  But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people.  In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended.

Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people.  In fact, they don’t even have a problem making offensive statements about other white people (ask a white person about “flyover states”).  As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.

It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended.  They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive.  When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples.  Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference.

White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic.  Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops.  All of which do an excellent job of raising awareness among white people who hope to change their status from “not racist” to “super not racist.”

Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people. Missing an opportunity to be outraged is like missing a reference to Derrida-it’s social death.

If you ever need to make a white person feel indebted to you, wait for them to mention a book, film, or television show that features a character who is the same race as you,  then say “the representation of <insert race> was offensive and if you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.”  After they return from their hastily booked trip to [sic] land of your ancestors, they will be desperate to make it up to you.  At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house.

Click
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lori
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that chick, you know
Lori
Wait, was that for me?

Oooh. Well, I believe that was racist as well. Let me go over this: Racism is a belief that all people of one race behave the same, have the same qualities, etc.

Try not to let it happen again. Thanks!
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Mock
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Mock
You'll have to dedicate a blog to this topic before your satire will undermine the satire of that blog. :P
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Evil_Henry
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In Vino Veritas
Mock
Dec 21 2008, 08:08 PM
Quote:
 
#101 Being Offended

To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose..... .. .. .
Click

Heh, spent my lunch reading that website. Enjoyed the one about learning languages.
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lori
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that chick, you know
Lori
Mock
Dec 22 2008, 04:30 AM
You'll have to dedicate a blog to this topic before your satire will undermine the satire of that blog.  :P

And yet you can't deny that you appreciate my satire.
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Mock
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Mock
As long as you maintain your 'super not racist' status, we could have lots of fun. :unsure:
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esttelle
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Ninja Valid
HOLLAND TOWNSHIP, N.J. (Jan. 14) - Police say three New Jersey siblings whose names have Nazi connotations have been placed in the custody of the state.
Holland Township Police Sgt. John Harris says workers from the state Division of Youth and Family Services removed 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell and his younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell from their home Tuesday.
Harris says family services did not tell police the reason the children were removed. Agency spokeswoman Kate Bernyk says it does not comment on specific cases.
Without giving a reason, New Jersey police said 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, seen above with his parents, and his younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler, were taken from their home and put into state custody. The children and their parents, Heath and Deborah Campbell, received attention last month when a supermarket bakery refused to put Adolf Hitler Campbell's name on a birthday cake.
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Mock
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Mock
A follow-up! Any more info? It was the woman, wasn't it? No sound-proved dungeon is going to keep her Nazi-themed BDSM shenanigans from the rest of the household. She was probably riding him bridled up the flight of stairs when the horse-tail decorated butt-plug plopped out, resulting in a torrential mudslide of epic gastrointestinal proportions. Suicide doodles in their school journals depicting the traumatizing events witnessed by the future coprophagic scatologists eventually alerted the teachers to the ongoing abuse.

Let's ask Swords for her expert opinion.
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Xx_SwordWords_xX
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Satan Valid
:lol:

Expert opinion: Mock has mommy issues, hence he has woman issues. :kiss:
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theDootle
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Saviour Valid
:clapping:
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Evil_Henry
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In Vino Veritas
Mock finds pens attractive, not women. This is nothing to do with his upbringing, it's genetic. He is genetically predisposed to stationary.


Is that so wrong?
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Evil_Henry
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In Vino Veritas
Mmmm. Mocktastic.

I give you, pen porn:

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I bet it writes some gorgeous words.
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lori
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that chick, you know
Lori
I kinda love pens, too. Could we have more pen porn?
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Morguemisericordia
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Saddam Fonz Valid
Oh. come now, Lori. You adore pens. As do I. That one is gorgeous, Henry.

Yes, please - share another.
Thank God for Haters. Else I'd have no drama in my life.
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Mock
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Mock
The design of that pen has promise, but ultimately fails because of its inherent 'prop' value. Now if the gears in that design were to be part of a functional mechanism that could bring about some diabolical effect that reaches beyond the traditional Bond conventions, I would wholeheartedly embrace it. *nods*

Also, I'm not partial to ' sounding' . :dalekray:
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