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Locked Topic
[A]Romeo Sin; [Accepted]
Topic Started: 7 May 2015, 06:26 PM (433 Views)
Posted Image Romeo
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Trainer Profile

Character Name: Romeo Sin
Nickname: Razer
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Trainer Class: Rogue

Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 140 lbs
Hair Color & Style: Black, stopping around his neck with a natural flow to it, Romeo uses conditioner, and his hair is soft, but thick. While he normally doesn't brush it, letting it do it's own thing. Considerable bed hair that just falls into place after a shower.
Eyes: Gray Blue, with a small yellow ring near the pupil. They usually have soft black bags under them, showing Romeo does a lot of work, and is usually tired.
Clothing/Accessories: Romeo owns a Jacket with white fluff on the ends of it, including the sleeves, and hood. He also owns a bare of black dress boots. When he isn't wearing his jacket, he owns a long sleeve black shirt, and a red shirt under it. His pants are pretty normal, nothing really special about them, just every day black jeans.
Romeo owns a few bracelets of various bead colors, and a chain wallet.
General Appearance: Romeo looks, off the bat, like a nasty person, and someone with a evil scheme being hatched in their head, but looks can be deceiving. While those who know him a little better know this is just because he hides his true emotions behind a devilish smirk. Its hard to tell what he is thinking as his body movements are sporadic, and unnecessary. Romeo appears to be a huge flirt as well, and isn't "Half bad looking."

Posted Image

Hometown: Kotoba City, East Godai
Personality:
Romeo has seen a lot of drama in his childhood, this eventually made him pretty calm about future events in the family business that would make other people around the area pretty nervous. An example is, being threatened by other intimidating characters of a different faction won’t faze or make him flinch in fear, nor would him being.
While Romeo can't be easily angered. He has had so many fights with his uncle that he gets used to it whether it’s about pertaining the family business or just personal arguments between each other, this resulted in his patience to last long and can ignore petty insults toward him, though attacking his sister can lead to him enraged.

Many things grab Romeo's attention, it doesn't take a lot to make him lose focus on a job and eventually get carried away by his curiosity. Basically, when he sets his sights on an object of interest, he will immediately turn away from his first action and go toward the said object.

Romeo can show a warm heart at times, most of those times only apply to his sister, but if there is one moment when someone shows a general care toward his well-being, he can show the same back.

In the heat of a commotion, Romeo is one to take confusion on both opposite sides for no reason at all, to him, he just wants to see what happens when the tide settles.

The young man has kept a lot of his more sensitive emotions buried inside. Getting him to crack open is tough, but not impossible.
Romeo is cautious in trusting others, he always tries to intimidate people when he first meets them, trying to figure out them out.

Moral wise, Romeo refuses to throw the first punch, or start a fight, at least as long as he isn't directly involved. He wont raise a hand toward a woman either, and will take any abuse she dishes out. He doesnt think twice when it comes to thieving, if he can get away with it, he probably will do it. He doesnt believe in love, nor in settling down for a family of his own.

Sin also doesnt agree with murder for no reason, or killing for that fact. He will not kill a person, unless it involves his sister. He doesnt do drugs either, thinking them as a disgusting habit, and thinks the same for drinking as well.

History:
Romeo was born to a somewhat wealthy family of herb merchants in Kotoba City, living a simple, and easy life. It wasn't till his sister, Rei, was born when he was three, and his mother died during child labor, and his father went into a depressed state, eventually being taken to a mental ward, leaving their uncle, Dez, to watch over them. This caused Romeo to shut down for a few months, and become silent, digging deep into his mind on what was the best course to take with this major change.

After weeks of going to see his father in the mental ward, Romeo stopped caring, and declared his father weak willed. This lead him to have a negative opinion of his family in general. His father always bawling his eyes out, or staring at nothing for hours on end lead Romeo to think this.

Their uncle ended up turning their herb business into a drug dealing service, forcing Romeo to help at the age of ten in return to leave his sister out of the underworld. By then, Romeo had figured out that he had to throw away the niceness he once had to adapt to the ever changing life style.

Romeo's elementary days are quite boring, with nothing truly happening of any real interest to be said. It was quite normal, and nothing special.

By middle school, Romeo had made a very small handful of friends, Jace, Icarus, and Stephan. They were all around the same ages, and would move up to high school together, and grow closer to one another. Romeo had to keep his feelings closely checked, though, to make sure he did not get to heavily attached, and to hide his criminal life away from them.

Back tracking some, Romeo was soon cornered by a few thugs during a drug dealing gone wrong, unmoved by their threats, and ready to die, a Houndour, alone, and brutally aggressive to the thugs, would come to his rescue, forever making a everlasting bond between the two. Romeo named him Jigoku, and his uncle, whom was already beginning to see Romeo has his own son, allowed him to keep the animal.

Romeo grew very attached to the pokemon, and finding that it took kindly to his sister as well as his group of friends. Later near the age of eighteen, Romeo would have to drop out of school, even though his grades were where they needed to be for passing. Romeo still saw his friends after school hours, and they spent much of their time at a cafe.

The group was unaware, still, of Romeo's criminal background, until one day, single handily, Romeo held back a group of thugs who recognized Romeo's face. After the fight was over, and Romeo was covered in bruises, and blood, they force Romeo to speak the truth. After spilling the beans, the bond they shared became unbreakable.

After finding out about what Romeo does, they have opted to do all they can to help him get out of the criminal world, and after asking him more about it, they learned that Romeo has seen more than most of them, they questioned his experiences.

Romeo described his first introduction to murder as a, "dark, and terrifying thing." He said he cried for days every night, seeing the person's face. Traumatized from the murder, he would go on to experience it again, and again, till eventually it was nothing new to him, making him lose a bit of humanity inside.

By now, Romeo's mental state as turned into something of a hurricane inside, a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. He still had not figured out what he was going to do about the changes, and he was afraid of how his sister would feel to know Romeo was involved with illegal actions, though Romeo's sister is unaware of the dirty deeds he must do, and loves him very much, while his uncle as some respect for the young man, but is more worried about his drug dealing business than family.

Through this dark dealings, Romeo has been in contact with some of the more dangerous groups of Godai, and even watched murders happen for the sake of good business. This has lead to Romeo having callous feelings to seeing dead people, and other shapes of violence. For example, he once met a a representative who's boss controls some of the stock holdings, and political powers of Godai. Though his uncle is pretty well connected, compared to these guys, he is just a peon. Though this, they can expose their products throughout Godai too.

By hiding the drugs with the shipments of herbs that is considered a well respectable business, his uncle is able to get away with small drug deals, having to leave the city for larger scale deals.

It's only a matter of time, though, that the police catch up with his uncle and it all goes down hill. Romeo is unsure how to get out of the business, and take care of his sister, and himself. His goal in life is to make a big name for himself in some shape, or form, and no longer is shy about taking the shady route to get there anymore compared to his childhood.

Now at the age of twenty-one, Romeo has become a big shot around his uncle's area in the city, considered reliable, yet unpredictable and a great team with Jigoku, though his curiosity does get him into trouble sometimes. He has gained this respect through never getting caught, helping protect the product while others come to pick it up. He also has saved his uncle's life many times through just being present. His presence, apparently, is quite menacing.

It is safe to say that the relationship between Romeo, and Dez is somewhat confusing. One minute they seem to be good friends, other times, they are mortal enemies. It is clear, though, that Romeo holds no respect over authority, including his uncle's, and would likely put a knife in the man's back given the chance.


Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 0


Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Houndour
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Jigoku
Gender: Male
Type: Dark/Fire
Ability: Early Bird
Height: 2' 0''
Weight: 23.8 lbs
Health: Low
EXP Rate: Slow
EXP Gauge: (7/9)
EXP Gained: ZERO
Level: 5
Division: D8
Total Stats: 55
  • Attack: 10
  • Defense: 5
  • Sp. Attack: 16 (29%)
  • Sp. Defense: 10
  • Speed: 14

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Ember
1. Leer
4. Howl

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal


Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here

Edited by Romeo, 11 May 2015, 11:28 PM.
Posted Image
Romeo Sin • Trainer Class: Rogue • Total EXP Gained: 0 • Dians: 1,000*dian* • Location: Kotoba City, East Godia

Romeo’s Pokemon
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

As requested via Cbox, this will be moved into "Incomplete Characters".

Please post a reply whenever you have completed this so we know when this is completed! Good luck! ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Alright Bonesy, I feel it is ready! XD
Posted Image
Romeo Sin • Trainer Class: Rogue • Total EXP Gained: 0 • Dians: 1,000*dian* • Location: Kotoba City, East Godia

Romeo’s Pokemon
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Hey Romeo! I’m going to apologize but before I can actually legitimately check this, I would highly recommend doing the following:

  • Please review ”Common Application Mistakes” to see what you have missed.
  • Please reread ”Character Application Template”’s example Application to see what you have overlooked. This being the majority of sections especially the minimum Word Count. By looking at this one more time, it will literally tell you everything of how to properly fill out the profile.
  • For more information that may or may not be left unsaid, or for anything that is not as clear, please check out ”Accepted Characters” to see what you might be missing or common questions asked by us moderators.
Please don’t rush, and do make sure you read the words written to save both parities time! This will also allow you to get into the world of RPing here quicker as well. Good luck! ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Hey Bones, with some great help from SlayerofGhosts, I believe this is improved. The Word Count is met in all areas.
Posted Image
Romeo Sin • Trainer Class: Rogue • Total EXP Gained: 0 • Dians: 1,000*dian* • Location: Kotoba City, East Godia

Romeo’s Pokemon
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Haha aite then! I’ll do this for real now! Ready? Set GO -

Although you were almost correct in trying to check the example profile for ”Character Application Template”, I wasn’t referring to whether or not “grey” was a natural eye colour. Basically exactly like what’s given in the example template, please elaborate on the following: ”Eyes”. ”Hair [...]”, ”Clothing [...]”, and ”General Appearance”. For better reference please look back to my original post about looking at things that may or may not be left unsaid in the other resources available to you.

However, to assist both parities, an example would be what kind of grey eyes? “Natural grey eyes” tend to have a yellow rim surrounding the cornea and not completely full blown grey. ;) Not only that but what about the size? Same goes with the hair? What exactly is medium length? There’s so many definitions of that. Any style? For example if I told you my hair is black and “medium length” you would never know how I look like, but instead I would say my hair is black, medium length towards the back of my neck however is half shaved and pushed towards the left side of my face. See what details can do?! The same goes for the next two categories. Is that literally all that Romeo wears? Only one type of outfit? No cleaning? No other attires? What about during hot and cold weather? White fluff and a jacket in 115 degree heat will definitely cause a heat stroke if he’s on a journey. Think deeper, realistically, and creatively. The same applies for ”General Appearance” - how else do people view him? What exactly is a nasty person right off the bat? I’ve absolutely no clue and I work with patients myself. So on and so forth.

Then for his ”Height” and in turn his ”Weight” he’s a little bit underweight from what little information I’m getting from his appearance in general. If he’s supposed to be underweight, well I don’t see any information justifying it. He is a rather tall person as well from my perspective so goodness that is quite off! If you’re in need of assistance for weight, then I would recommend adding an extra 11 to 15 pounds minimum.

To move onto his ”Personality” this is pretty good! But let’s try letting yourself do your own character to the best of your abilities. I would highly recommend rereading it once more as I am quite confused by the choice of wording especially the beginning segment pertaining to the last sentence. But other than that, it’s not bad but perhaps elaborate on these “almost like bullet points” of his personality and see if you can flow them into paragraph format - just like any other RP! But to add to that, perhaps putting in his morals and beliefs - something he won’t ever move from or if he doesn’t have any - why for what reason and how?

Then for his ”History” let’s also put a lot of focus on this. To simply put it is...a bit strange. This is where loads of details and descriptions should come into place. First of all, how in the world did Romeo feel during the slow decline of his Father’s mental state? Depressing takes years to develop and eat away at the brain - why didn’t Romeo help? If he did and got rejected, then how and why? Then what happened in that huge gap from childhood to his teenage years? What about friends? How was his relationship with his uncle? What about his sister? Oh dear! Just because his father is in a mental institute doesn’t mean he’s dead or erased from the world. Why didn’t Romeo go to visit him? So on and so forth. Try not to use “would” as this is a history and a history tends to be past tense if I’m not mistaken. Then apparently his Uncle becomes somewhat of mini drug lord? Oh dear, I’m not quite sure about this - what and were are the details? This should be all about Romeo and not the drug business. Remember your History should be complimenting Romeo’s ”Personality” to make him into this person he is known for today. How did he feel throughout all this? What about school and the friends he may or may not have made? If not, then why? How? Why not? All this explains is what he did and not how he is. Don’t be afraid to really get into the realistic details and descriptions! Flush them out! Not only that, but for aesthetics please put an extra spacing between paragraphs so it is more readable.

We’ll stop here for now and focus completely on your written portion, and do the last half another time. Please attempt these corrections by yourself as then you will be able to obtain a better grasp on your character on more personal level. Don’t forget - this is your character after all! You got this; I have complete faith in you! Good luck! ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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There ya go Bones
Posted Image
Romeo Sin • Trainer Class: Rogue • Total EXP Gained: 0 • Dians: 1,000*dian* • Location: Kotoba City, East Godia

Romeo’s Pokemon
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Very good changes! Just a wee bit more to go and this is only on the base of modern day realism that may or may not be known to the public without further research -

For his ”Personality” this is okay but there’s not many changes I see on here aside from spacing. Perhaps figure out one more paragraph or so about his beliefs and morals? The examples of what a belief and moral is will be on my previous post.

Then for his ”History”, everything is lovely and to the point until we get to the last bits and pieces. For the sake of realism, for him to already reach that age and to witness actual murders, not many people would instantly be callous towards witnessing horrific deaths that druggies and gangs tend to do. Trust me on that lol. Since that is a rather significant part of his life, I would kindly ask you dish out the details about this slow delve into being desensitized with dead bodies. What are the coping mechanisms he used the first time he witnessed it - what went through his mind, how did he cope, what did he do, how did he react - and then to the next few others over and over until now she’s nothing but a mere shell towards specifically these dead bodies. There’s a rather large psychological process that goes here and this will allow you to delve deeper into Romeo’s mind just to avoid allowing your character to be this “cool cat” for the sake of being one without reason. It’s not all fun and games when a man’s mind is at stake hah!

Then there are just a few questions concerning this that you can choose to do with whatever you’d like with it towards the end of the History portion. What exactly happened from the time of his Uncle’s capture to him being 21? Do understand that any minor (below the age of 18) will be forced to go into a foster home or some sort of care especially his sister until they reach of age. Then say he reaches of age first, then he must win custody of his sister and go through numerous tests and background checks that will allow him to keep his sister. This then furthers the question of him and the drug job. He knows he’ll get caught and he’s seen it, yet somehow he goes above the ranks and becomes his now full blown drug lord? Did he not show any disdain for the business during then and in what ways did this allow him to obtain this mindset that “Hey even though it was hell and my Uncle got caught, I want to do it all over again!” It is definitely plausible but allow yourself to think of how this would happen. Not only that but if he’s a big shot in the area, would the police not know of this and find him? After all he’s still 21 and unless he’s gone through much more than what’s revealed especially with a sister and all, that is very and highly highly unlikely he will succeed to how you put him now. Not only that but what happened with his friends then? Did he also drag them into the drug crime area - as you stated, their bonds were “unbreakable”.

Anyways you're so close! Just a bit more and think logically! You can do this. You know the drill.
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Okay Bones, more edits done for ya!
Posted Image
Romeo Sin • Trainer Class: Rogue • Total EXP Gained: 0 • Dians: 1,000*dian* • Location: Kotoba City, East Godia

Romeo’s Pokemon
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Alright! So close almost there!

Only two things I would like explained within your "History". One of them will be what I said earlier up on my previous post to this specifically:
Quote:
 
Through this dark dealings, Romeo has been in contact with some of the more dangerous groups of Godai, and even watched murders happen for the sake of good business. This has lead to Romeo having callous feelings to seeing dead people, and other shapes of violence.


The other, is just a small paragraph or two about how he "rose to being a big shot". What did he do, how did he earn other people's respect to be recognized, so on and so forth. It's like saying, for example, "I was born a bad child and now I am loved by everyone." Which is perfectly fine, but what and how did "I" become loved by everyone? What did "I" do? Blah blah.

Now we can move onto the "Pokedex"! Hooray! Before I say anything further, please reread the example Profile found in "Character Application Template" as there are two perfectly filled out example profiles that literally tell you how to fill it out especially the following: Moveset, Stats, Percentages, and so on.

That's it! You know the drill. Hang in there, you're doing wonderfully. ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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These things have been better explained sir :)
Posted Image
Romeo Sin • Trainer Class: Rogue • Total EXP Gained: 0 • Dians: 1,000*dian* • Location: Kotoba City, East Godia

Romeo’s Pokemon
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

I'm okay with this.

Although I'm very iffy on the little explanation of him and witnessing murders and dead bodies, I would implore you to think a bit deeper on how this would affect you for example and/or someone else in real life if they were to witness that. Not only that but how he would cope with the first one. But I digress.

Other than that be careful on the usage of "peon" as they have a negative connotation for most SE Asians.

Regardless you've put in a lot of effort -

1/2 Approval.

Edit: Please take out the sentence found under your "Adventure Log".
Edited by Bones, 11 May 2015, 11:13 PM.
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Nooope

Please re-insert your "Adventure Log", and do the following:

Quote:
 
Edit: Please take out the sentence found under your "Adventure Log".

Until you're able to take out that sentence (find out what doesn't fit compared to other profiles) I'll retract the 1/2 Approval.

Please post a reply when that has been edited, and I will reinstate the 1/2 Approval.
Edited by Bones, 11 May 2015, 11:12 PM.
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Nooope

Perfect~~

To reiterate:

1/2 Approval - officially from me lol.
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Your character application has now been accepted! Please make sure to create a signature of your character. Once that is done, you are now free to RP! If you made a personal mistake with your character, please submit a modification process involving a revamp.

This topic is now closed without further ado.
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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