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Locked Topic
[A]Keeran Katsaros; [Accepted]
Topic Started: 28 May 2015, 11:48 AM (528 Views)
Posted Image Nymtai
No Avatar


Trainer Profile

Character Name: Keeran Katsaros
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Birthday: November 29th, 184
Trainer Class: Medium

Height: 5'4
Weight: 130 lbs
Hair Color & Style: Thick, neatly combed black shoulder length hair, with a fringe that scarcely covers the top of his eyes. The ends of his hair slightly curl towards his neck.
Eyes: Almond shaped, hazel eyes, with short eyelashes and a small iris. His iris is a dark brown at the periphery of his pupil, but gradually lightens away from the centre of his iris. He suffers from short-sightedness and has to wear glasses to perceive the world correctly.
Clothing/Accessories: Keeran's attire consists of simple, if formal clothing. He has thin dark blue plastic glasses with a full rimmed frame and a second, almost identical spare with black frames. He most commonly wears a black, long sleeved collared shirt and trousers alongside black dress shoes. During miserable weather he wears a plain deep blue synthetic rain coat. He will supplement this by wearing a black or dark blue jumper over his shirt during cold weather, but usually fails to deviate from his standardised dress code.
General Appearance: Keeran has a rounded face characterised by small features, with thin black eyebrows, a petite nose and mouth. He has pale skin and his cheeks and nose are covered by a soft line of freckles. Furthermore, he has a slender form and noticeably has little muscle. Often he fidgets when standing still, but his movement tends to be frigid and he often looks marginally towards the ground in public. An aversion to physical activity during his youth has left him with a frail form. The first impression of most is that he seems distant, looking at something beyond their perception. Keeran possesses a tendency to stare at others when thinking, though he avoids looking directly at their face, a habit that often unnerves those whom are unaware of this.


Hometown: Oraclair Town, North Godai

Personality



History


Relationships



Inventory

Dians: Posted Image 2,453

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball
Posted Image 2x Potion
Posted Image 1x TM138 Icy Wind

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 20
Tier 0:
- Making Friends: 7/15
- Nursing: 2/15
- To Be The Best: 4/15
- TLC: 3/25
- Seeing the Sights: 3/15
- Oooh Shiny: 1/30

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 46

Pokemon
Posted Image
Yamask
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Yomi
Gender: Female
Type: Ghost
Ability: Mummy
Height: 1'8”
Weight: 3.3 lbs
Health: Scrawny
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: (31/35)
EXP Gained: 24
Level: 12
Division: D8
Total Stats: 132
  • Attack: 20
  • Defense: 46 (35%)
  • Sp. Attack: 24
  • Sp. Defense: 22
  • Speed: 20

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Astonish
1. Protect
5. Disable
9. Haze

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


Posted Image
Phantump
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Tsuki
Gender: Female
Type: Ghost/Grass
Ability: Frisk
Height: 1'04
Weight: 15.4lbs
Health: Scrawny
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: (29/30)
EXP Gained: 22
Level: 11
Division: D8
Total Stats: 121
  • Attack: 34 (28%)
  • Defense: 16
  • Sp. Attack: 19
  • Sp. Defense: 27 (22%)
  • Speed: 25

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Tackle
1. Confuse Ray
5. Astonish
8. Growth

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:



PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Home's Umbra - +3 EXP, Posted Image 321, +2 AP
Tablet Beneath The Canopy - +4 EXP, Posted Image 678, + 8AP, Captured a wild Phantump, -2 Pokeball
Keeran Katsaro's Pokémart Shopping - Posted Image 800, +2 Pokéballs, +2 Potions
The Scurarte Scuffle - + 13EXP, Posted Image 624, + 6AP, Obtained TM138 Icy Wind.
The Besnowed Forest - +26 EXP, *dian* 630, +4 AP.

Edited by Wremnpom, 11 Jul 2015, 09:10 AM.
Keeran Katsaros


Xiùlán Lǐ
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Bones
Member Avatar
Nooope

Hey Nymtai! Welcome to Godai!

First off, absolutely lovely attempt on here! There’s hardly anything I can see that is amiss! But of course, I’ll hold you to the same standards as everyone else, which I am more than positive you can do -

First, maybe add in just a little bit more to your character’s ”General Appearance” a sentence or two about what people’s first impressions of him would be - and if it has any other lingering traits that might possibly be stuck on someone’s mind.

For Keeran’s ”Personality”, this is bloody wonderful! However, can you elaborate what it means when you say:
Quote:
 
In addition, he also has the ability to feed on emotions like Ghost-type Pokemon and despite a similarly complete lack of knowledge he seems to have a powerful ability to do so.
I’m not quite sure what you mean by this.

Then if I had to be nitpicky, then perhaps add a paragraph or a sentence or two about what he views Mankind then aside from Pokemon and the like. Is there a set moral(s) he has through all his years of learning especially those that you say is advanced such as maths and especially sciences? Or in other words - a belief other than just rejecting the driving force of fear (why btw?) - even a life motto? Elaborate on that last paragraph? And if there’s no more other than that, then why? Don’t be afraid to flush the details on his psychological stand points!

The same can be said about his ”History” in terms of details! This is again, fantastic, but I feel you can add in just a bit more! For example the first paragraph is splendid but let’s explore that concept. His biological parents have passed and he has been adopted by mother’s friend. Regardless of having little recollection, I’m sure someday he had to find out that that woman and professor weren’t his blood parents - so how did he feel throughout knowing this? If he never knew and is currently in denial then why or why not? Did he just not care or so on and so forth. Elaborate more on his how his life shifted in secondary school - how did he obtain these close friends all of a sudden? In what says does his compliment his ”Personality”? I can definitely see the majority but how does it relate to his compassion? How did he obtain the understanding of such and what other events transpired that knocked him down only to have him come back up stronger? If not, then why? Does this mean he’s also somewhat naive and ignorant towards the world having experienced few difficulties? So on and so forth. How did he feel throughout his life seemingly always having been on top? How did he view others beneath them or did he not care? So on and so forth. Details!

Lastly, for your ”Pokedex” there’s just one mistake! Unfortunately, 35% of 55 does not equal to 14. The math is: 55 x 0.35 = #. Then please change your stats accordingly.

If you have any further questions please feel free to PM a staff member and we will get back to you ASAP! When any changes have been made, please post a reply to this so we know when you’re ready. I’m excited to see your changes! ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Nymtai
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Quote:
 
I am more than positive you can do -


I yield, this is too difficult; I hath roleplayed the fall of empires but twas a trivial affair compared to thy advice!

In all seriousness, I'll reply to the rest of this post systematically and professionally from this point forward:

Quote:
 
First, maybe add in just a little bit more to your character’s ”General Appearance” a sentence or two about what people’s first impressions of him would be - and if it has any other lingering traits that might possibly be stuck on someone’s mind.


I have added to the general appearance, though I'd appreciate any additional advice. It's admittedly not my strongest point.

Quote:
 
I’m not quite sure what you mean by this.


I rewrote this with close comparison to the information regarding mediums in the IC Trivia. I apologise if the correction is still incomprehensible, but I think it's better than my original submission.

Quote:
 
Then if I had to be nitpicky, then perhaps add a paragraph or a sentence or two about what he views Mankind then aside from Pokemon and the like.


I've extended unto the original final paragraph of this section and added a new one to improve this area.

Quote:
 
that woman and professor weren’t his blood parents


This admittedly confused me, but slightly changed it to make it clear he only lived with Kagawa.

I've extended on his feelings towards his parents and his Godfather in the first, second and fourth paragraphs.

Quote:
 
In what says does his compliment his ”Personality”? I can definitely see the majority but how does it relate to his compassion? How did he obtain the understanding of such and what other events transpired that knocked him down only to have him come back up stronger? If not, then why? Does this mean he’s also somewhat naive and ignorant towards the world having experienced few difficulties? So on and so forth. How did he feel throughout his life seemingly always having been on top? How did he view others beneath them or did he not care? So on and so forth. Details!


I have attempted to incorporate these after the first two history paragraphs.

Quote:
 
Lastly, for your ”Pokedex” there’s just one mistake!


Thanks for pointing this out, I've fixed this. Though I've been completely unable to replicate this mistake to figure out how I made it in the first place.

I believe that is everything, thank you for the advice in improving the application.
Edited by Nymtai, 29 May 2015, 01:51 PM.
Keeran Katsaros


Xiùlán Lǐ
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Bones
Member Avatar
Nooope

Hah! I love your sense of humour. XD

As for the emotions - that’s what I wanted to read! I just wanted to also make sure you knew what it was to “feed” on emotions since we all (even me when I first started) had different interpretations (although mine was wrong in the beginning lol).

But overall gosh I love these edits. They’re exactly what I’m looking for. Great job!

Everything looks great to me -

1/2 Approval ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Riffraff
Member Avatar


Your character application has now been accepted! Please make sure to create a signature of your character. Once that is done, you are now free to RP! If you made a personal mistake with your character, please submit a modification process involving a revamp.

This topic is now closed without further ado.
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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