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Locked Topic
[A]Andrew Grove.; [Accepted] Finished.
Topic Started: 30 May 2015, 04:37 AM (779 Views)
Posted Image Kristachii5
Member Avatar


Trainer Profile
Posted Image

Character Name: Andrew Grove.
Nickname: Drew.
Gender: Male.
Age: 22.
Birthdate: 13th of August / Year 179.
Trainer Class/Occupation: Private Detective.
Dialogue Color: #7E587E
Hometown: Wisteur Town.


Appearance


Personality and History


Inventory


Advancement


Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 15

Pokemon
Posted Image
Tynamo
Caught at Level 5


Dialogue Color: #486180
Nickname: Taser.
Gender: Male.
Type: Electric.
Ability: Levitate.
Height: 0’ 8”
Weight: .7 lbs.
Health: Scrawny.
EXP Rate: Slow.
EXP Gauge: (13/15)
EXP Gained: 6
Level: 7
Division: D8
Total Stats: 77
  • Attack: 19 (25%)
  • Defense: 11
  • Sp. Attack: 13
  • Sp. Defense: 12
  • Speed: 22 (28%)

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Charge Beam
1. Spark
1. Tackle
1. Thunder Wave

Unique Moves:
-

Item: None
Posted Image
Purrloin
Caught at Level 6


Dialogue Color: #6A287E
Nickname: Spotter.
Gender: Male.
Type: Dark.
Ability: Limber.
Height: 1’ 4”
Weight: 22.3 lbs.
Health: Scrawny.
EXP Rate: Medium Fast.
EXP Gauge: (14/15)
EXP Gained: 5
Level: 7
Division: D8
Total Stats: 79 (77 + 2)
  • Attack: 19 (17 + 2)
  • Defense: 11
  • Sp. Attack: 14
  • Sp. Defense: 11
  • Speed: 24 (31%)

Vitamins Used: None
Posted Image : +10%
Moveset:
1. Scratch
3. Growl

Unique Moves:
-

Item: Posted Image - Kasib Berry
Posted Image
Growlithe
Caught at Level 5


Dialogue Color: #E9AB17
Nickname: Unit.
Gender: Male.
Type: Fire.
Ability: Flash Fire.
Height: 2’ 4”
Weight: 41.9 lbs.
Health: Low.
EXP Rate: Slow.
EXP Gauge: (11/12)
EXP Gained: 4
Level: 6
Division: D8
Total Stats: 66
  • Attack: 14 (21%)
  • Defense: 13
  • Sp. Attack: 17 (26%)
  • Sp. Defense: 10
  • Speed: 12

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Bite
1. Roar
6. Ember

Unique Moves:
-

Item: Posted Image - Rawst Berry


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal
Edited by DrakeX, 30 Jun 2018, 04:16 AM.
Posted Image
The Detective

The Rising Star
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Posted Image Kristachii5
Member Avatar


This Character is Complete and ready for Application.
Posted Image
The Detective

The Rising Star
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Alrighty Kris! You know how it works here; let’s begin -

First off, for his ”General Appearance”, perhaps another sentence or two about how he walks, his stature or posture? Or even how people view him on first impressions and if he is impressionable or not? So on and so forth.

Preferably I would ask you not to bullet point his likes/dislike and try and incorporate them into Andrew’s ”Personality” in paragraph form. While we’re on that topic, although I love his personality, I feel you can add in much much more! Constantly ask “why” and “how” when you reread through this. Why is he most comfortable when he is in charge? Does it give him a sense of power when he can control others? Does he feel more free that he’s on top of the ranks and thus does not feel limited by others? Is it because then he can make his own rules and are not bound by other people’s rules? Iunno! Not my character! Why does he want to be a detective? Is it simply just to follow his father? Just because someone is born having these traits doesn’t make them so! Is it because he likes catching criminals? Solving cases? Seeing things others can’t normally see? Puzzles perhaps? The thrill of doing things in secret? Being manipulative for good reasons? So on and so forth. Why does he choose smoking as his way of stress relieving and not any other activities such as drinking, kickboxing, gaming, or swimming and whatever? Why specifically smoking? How does this specific activity out of everything else make him feel? Not only that but what about his views on mankind? What are his flaws? I can only see one compared to his plethora of others. What are the side effect of smoking on a person’s physical abilities if he were to give chase to a runner? How does that affect him on a mental and psychological process? What is his view on life? Mankind? Pokemonkind? Any morals and beliefs? A life model perhaps? Relationships with other people? So on an so forth. Don’t be afraid to really flush out the details.

The same can be said about his ”History” though lovely, is lacking quite a bit of detail to compliment his ”Personality”. In what says throughout his life did he acquire these traits? What obstacles, experiences, or hurdles did he have to go through in order to obtain this personal and emotional growth as described in his Personality? Thought you’ve explained what he did, you didn’t quite explain how he felt and acquired these life experiences along the way. For example, how was his relationship with his parents? What struggles did he go through? How was he intelligent? What did he do in school? What about socialization? What about friends? How did he get out there? If not, then why? In what ways did he shape his confidence? How and what did he do in order to feed his intelligence more than others? What other things did he go through especially as a childhood and teenage years? How did he feel when he struggled to get his trainer’s license? What psychological and cognitive process did he go through as he continued to help his father in “basic detective assistance”? How did he feel as he obtained these jobs? How did he feel when he was constantly told “so and so” about his romantic life? Why did he not care and focused “solely on his career”? If he never gave it much thought - then why? Why not? What other struggles did he go through to build up a reputation? No one is born automatically smart with goals in life - they go through different worldly views and experiences with self growth in order to see the path ahead of them. So what was Andrew’s? Don’t get me wrong, this is good! But it’s almost like a grocery list of what is there and not “why” you have to buy these - if that makes any sense haha!

That's it! Everything else looks fine. You know the drill once anything is changed. Good luck; you got this in the bag! ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Kristachii5
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Gotta admit, first seeing your comment was a bit daunting.
I did struggle, but I added a small portion to his General appearance about his posture.
I also added a considerable amount to his Personality and History, hoping it suffices.
Posted Image
The Detective

The Rising Star
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Your General Appearance is good! That’s literally all I wanted to see haha.

And no worries, I hold everyone to the same standard, yours is actually rather short compared to everyone else. So kudos!

Anyways -

I love the edits done to his ”Personality” and all I ask is just a tiny bit more. I feel that some of these are just segments of thoughts and I don’t quite understand how his father having a celebratory beer and being tired from a tough case caused the man to psychologically distance himself away from his father? What was done because of those actions that made Andrew want to shield away from his once role model? And all the way on the bottom, why Andrew not enjoy the idea of drinking? Was it because of the social stigma associated with it? Or was it because of a bodily reaction or a mood reaction he saw that came after his actions of his father? The video games is quite randomly put in there (you don’t have to edit that but I just wanted to point it out haha) I do, however, love the delve into why he picked up smoking. But to continue, in what ways does he keep an open mind? It’s easier said than done, so what are some examples of this? I say this because there are many variations of keeping an open mind to the point where it can actually be seen as being naive or silly or even being in denial. Lastly perhaps add a sentence or two of how he views Mankind/Pokemonkind of perhaps how he feels about himself or even how he views the world? That also helps us tie together our personality and give us a base in which we can build upon.


That’s it! I’m okay with the ”History” so great job there! You know the drill when any changes have been made. ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Kristachii5
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Edited.
I also tried to make the 'Video Games' area flow a bit better x3
Posted Image
The Detective

The Rising Star
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Posted Image Kristachii5
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I also added more to his 'Eyes' section.
It previously just spoke about the colours, so I added more about their shape and eyebrows.
Posted Image
The Detective

The Rising Star
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

I'm okay with this -

1/2 Approval. ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Wremn
Member Avatar
Blerrraaaugh -fire-

I like your changes Kris! Though if you're still worried about your character being too perfect, I'm sure you'll know what to change when you begin RPing with him. By the standards of our site, this is still a pretty impressive profile, so I will give you the other 1/2 you need! Enjoy~


Posted Image




Your character application has now been accepted! Please make sure to create a signature of your character. Once that is done, you are now free to RP! If you made a personal mistake with your character, please submit a modification process involving a revamp.

This topic is now closed without further ado.
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