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Cosmos Ringro; Done
Topic Started: 31 May 2015, 08:04 AM (359 Views)
Posted Image Cosmos
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Trainer Profile
Character Name: Cosmos Ringro

Gender: Female

Age: 18

Trainer Class: Psychic (Empath)

Height: 5'7"

Weight: 135 lbs

Hair Color & Style: Cosmos has long, silky, light Strawberry-Blonde hair that flows gracefully down her back like a cloak, with two thick strands hanging over the front of her shoulders. There is the odd wave in her hair, and she has wing-like bangs that frame her face and hang to the left of it. She also has a short braid on the right of her head.

Eyes: Cosmos has bright, Golden-Brown eyes with a gentle nature behind them. They are slightly rounded with pointed edges as well, and she has thin, feminine eyebrows that arch inwards in the rare instance that Cosmos is angered. Also, she has long eyelashes that are in perfect condition, resembling what someone's would look like if they wore make up, even in their natural condition.

Clothing/Accessories: Cosmos can usually be seen in a light brown dresscoat and navy blue undershirt, with sleeves that extend down her arms into fingerless gloves. She also adorns her hair with a navy, plaited headband. She also wears a willowy, white skirt and black, leather knee-high boots with 3-inch heels. This is both her main, and her Autumn/Winter outfit.

In the Spring/Summer months, she adorns a dark blue dress with a frilly/pleated skirt and white underskirt, coming down just above her knees. She also wears a thin, white scarf looped around her neck, and a dark brown cropped jacket. She accompanies this outfit with white, wedge-heeled strap sandals and the same headband she wears with her main outfit. Her hair is also tied up in a ponytail (however her bangs remain the same), with the tips slightly curled.

General Appearance:
Posted Image

Cosmos is a young woman of average height and weight, with fair skin and a slim, but filled out, figured body. She has flawless skin: no bruises, no scars, no marks, no acne. Only the tattoo-like birthmark of her family on the back of her neck.

She often keeps her long, silky hair flowing down her back with two thick strands hanging over her shoulders, and her bangs to the left of her face, slightly over her left eye.

She stands with a posture that could be described as royal: perfectly-straight back, and her hands usually clasped and hanging down in front of her. When walking, her hands swing gently by her side and when running, she does not pump her arms like other people, her hands are held up to the side, in a manner that could be called lady-like.

In regards to her facial expressions, she rarely has anything extreme to them, and is often seen with a small, but still visible, smile.

Hometown: Tiensee Town, South Godai

Personality
Cosmos is usually quite a timid, calm person who rarely ever uses her temper. When it comes to battling, however, she becomes somewhat more serious and determined, and completely, albeit temporarily sheds her "shy" shell and becomes a goddess among woman if the battle heats up to an extent.

Although, as an Empath, she cares so much for Pokémon to the point that she almost lost her life protecting her father's Pokémon from the ambush of another, rather angry, Pokémon. She also literally feels what they feel, demonstrating such powerful Empathy that when a Pokémon near her felt sad or cried, she cried just as much as that one Pokémon.

She rarely purposely makes her voice heard in crowded areas due to her timid nature, and she often prefers to just keep to herself, which is her reason for not wanting to travel on a journey with a group. This is all because of the tragedy that struck her family slightly over a decade ago. The loss of almost all her family shattered her precious heart and left her in a cold shell of depression, until a certain addition was made to her little family of her, her father and his 2 Pokémon.

Before this, however, she was as quiet as outer space, and never went out much, worrying her father to the point where he consulted a therapist. Her father tried everything, even hiring a local entertainer to put on a show for her to try to make her smile. Nothing worked, except, however, for that little egg her father discovered and brought home, which eventually hatched after a while with Cosmos being the main carer, never letting it leave her sight. She always made sure its temperature was moderated, she even risked her life for it by fighting back and eventually fleeing when thugs tried to steal it.

That one Pokémon her father brought to her as an egg when they moved to Tiensee Town was the one thing that brought her out of her misery and into the light of happiness. That Pokémon is currently living with her and her father as a pet, which will become Cosmos' when she feels she is ready. So, usually when she thinks about that Pokémon, her small smile becomes bigger and her face lights up like a Christmas Tree due to the excitement of her future with the Pokémon. That Pokémon was Shinx.

She has since developed a strong bond with Shinx, and shows such a strong bond, that Shinx looks at its trainer regularly in battle to see if she is pleased. Also, Cosmos' Empathy allows her to gain the trust and love of almost any Pokémon she meets within minutes with just her personality and aura alone.

History
Cosmos comes from a long line of Psychics. In fact the family goes back eleven generations; however, Cosmos is the first in her family to be an Empath variant of Psychic. She grew up watching her three older siblings go through their traditional family trial: catching their first wild Pokémon with the use of a family Pokémon. All of her siblings passed within their first five attempts, and she looks up to them all as role models. However, tragedy struck when Cosmos was just five years of age.

A rampaging Pokémon started a forest fire in a near-by expanse of trees, and the flames spread wildly...straight towards the generations-old Estate built and solely occupied by Cosmos' family. No one saw it coming. It was in the middle of the night when the first victims were claimed. Eventually, Cosmos' father and her oldest brother managed to halt the fire with their Pokémon; Gyrados, Abomasnow, Steelix and Vaporeon. However, the only survivors were Cosmos herself, and her father. Her mother, Freya, and two of her siblings, the middle children Michael and Callie, were the original victims, and her oldest brother Stewart gave his life in a failed attempt to save his fiancée. His Steelix and Abomasnow also fell to this catastrophe, following their owner with complete loyalty and dedication.

Like almost any kid, Cosmos was like a walking sugar bomb: full of joy and laughter, unable to sit still, and wanted to pet every Pokémon she saw, and she had multiple children that she played with on a daily basis, with the odd, yet expected, fall out. However, Cosmos became just a husk of her former self after that night. She never went out, she never smiled, she rarely ever spoke, even to her father. She was more shadowy than a Ghost-type Pokémon, to the point where some people even nicknamed her "Gengirl", after the Pokémon Gengar, due to how much time she spent lurking in the shadows, away from people.

Eventually, Cosmos and her father relocated to a small home elsewhere in Tiensee Town, with little Cosmos scarred forever. In an attempt to cheer her up over the next few years, her father tried everything that he could think of; yet nothing seemed to work. Until, that is, he came home on her tenth birthday with a strange little object - a little orange Pokémon egg. From that day, Cosmos was as curious as a Skitty, and constantly watched over and warmed the egg like it were an infant. That very egg hatched into the very thing that brought Cosmos out of the depths of despair, and into the skies a happiness. An adorable little Shinix, whom she and her father agreed to keep as a pet until she was ready. And just recently, they reached that point.

Within just one month of Shinx's hatching, Cosmos' first signs of being an Empath, something never seen in her family of Psychic's before, started to manifest. She seemed to share the emotions the multiple Pokémon of the house felt for the first while, before she started to gain some control over her ability. Over the next eight years, her prowess as an Empath developed wildly, to the point where she could even influence the emotions of her target Pokémon.

Cosmos eventually decided to become a trainer after realising the potential she could meet with both her love for Pokémon, and the scale of her Empathic ability. She decided to inherit her pet Shinx, as her partner and set out on her journey, hoping to find the Alpha to Shinx's Omega.

Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 0
Tier 0:

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Shinx
Met as an Egg


Nickname: Omega
Gender: Male
Type: Electric
Ability: Rivalry
Height: 1'08"
Weight: 20.9 lbs
Health: Low
EXP Rate: Medium Slow
EXP Gauge: (6/8)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Division: D8
Total Stats: 55
  • Attack: 23% (13)
  • Defense: 11
  • Sp. Attack: 10
  • Sp. Defense: 9
  • Speed: 13

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Tackle
5. Leer

Unique Moves:
N/A

Item: None


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here
Edited by Cosmos, 9 Jun 2015, 01:09 PM.
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Due to the rules stated above on this thread, because this is a WIP, I'm going to move this to the "Incomplete Characters" forum.

Once you're officially ready, please post a reply to this thread so we can move it back to Character Application and get crackin'!

I would also highly advise you check out "Common Application Mistakes" and "Character Application Template" and simply scroll up to see two helpful profiles that will literally tell you how to fill out this application properly! Good luck! ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Cosmos
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Yeah this is basically finished.
Edited by Cosmos, 4 Jun 2015, 09:04 AM.
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Posted Image Wremn
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Blerrraaaugh -fire-

Alrighty. So I see you've made some changes, and I will try to lead you through this as best as I can. This is my second character app critique, so I hope you will take my advice, despite my relatively newness at this. As far as I can see, you have done well my friend. Just a few things to change. ^^


~Clothing and Physical Description

I am good with this. Though you could add more to describe her eyes, for example, how are they shaped? Are they almond, squinty? I know there's a picture, but this is helpful to those the image might not work for


~Personality

Awh. She's so cute! I really like what you put, but I know you can put in much more! What are the few things that make her angry? What passions does she have in life? I know she's an empath, but how does she cope with her psychic powers? Is she aware of them? How does she interact socially with other people, since she's so shy? Questions like that.

The second half of your Personality should be placed in the History since it doesn't really belong there.

Also, you said Growlithe, when in your profile you have a Shinx, my dear.



~History

You can keep the tragedy in her history, but there is so much more you can explore in her History! Did Cosmos go to school? How as she with her siblings? There is a lot of gaps in her life that need a little more answers. How old was she when the catastrophe struck? Did she have a social life after the catastrophe? Does she want to be a trainer?The History is your opportunity to give your board friends the background they need to better understand Cosmos, and the way I like to pretend when writing my histories is like I am telling my best friend about the life of a really fun, famous person.

Also, needa fix that Growlithe scenario.


~AP

Delete the portion that says delete this portion. ^^

~Poke Profile

Please look at another accepted characters' profile to fix this, because I know you can do it! You have a good grasp of the stats, but they need to be in the right format. Additionally, check out how the EXP Gauges work on other profiles. If you still are having trouble, don't be afraid to PM any of the mods~




Alrighty. So respond here when you've made your changes, and you'll soon be getting a 1/2 approval from me! Keep up the awesome work, Cosmos!
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Updated
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Posted Image Mr. Johnapillar
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Alright this has improved, kudos~ still room to go though.

With her clothing, is that the only outfit she wears? What about in hot and cold weather? Does she ever change into anything else. You should describe her general style and preference for clothes here, not a single outfit you find in a picture.

With her personality, Bones might have more to say, but the biggest thing with me is her temper. You need to give us specific examples of how she'll shift from being shy and quiet to "comedically angry," otherwise it's a contradictory trait.

Furthermore, your history is nice, but it needs more information. What made her so bubbly as a kid? There are a million influences in the form of schooling and friends that can affect that, and should be noted as variables. Furthermore, what did her depression do to those other relationships? Depression is an important condition and portraying it correctly is even more important, and it leaves lasting impressions. Fill us in on those bits.

Also, don't edit the world by adding a village like that. It's one thing to say that there's a suburb mostly inhabited by the family, but it's unrealistic in a setting like ours for something like that to exist. So the hometown would be Tiensee, nothing more.

Take care of that and we'll see what the next step might be.
Edited by Mr. Johnapillar, 5 Jun 2015, 09:58 AM.
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Seth Halley Thawyer • Astronomer • Total EXP Gained: 369 • Dians: *dian* 300 • Location: Serenity Lake

Pokemon


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Updated
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Posted Image Riffraff
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Hey Cosmos,

The history is still a problem. Living in an estate is fine, but the estate will have to be in Tiensee, not outside of it. Not only is it not part of the canon, it means we have to put it a ton of extra work to try and decide what's acceptable to create outside of our own map and whatnot. It also means you can never write your character in that specific location since it just doesn't exist.

Having the estate as part of the town is absolutely fine, outside just isn't, I'm afraid.

Naturally, this also means that you'll need to change the 'Hometown' section too.

Thank you so much for your patience, and I can't wait to see how you edit it again ^^
Edited by Riffraff, 9 Jun 2015, 11:06 AM.
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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...changed the town problem.
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Posted Image Wremn
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Blerrraaaugh -fire-

Hey Cosmos! Thanks for your patience, and congratz for having all the mods reply at least once to your profile! Ahaha. Alrighty, so I'm ok with the changes you made. They were pretty cool. The only things I need for you to change, and you should be glad that I'm being slightly lenient, is your Personality section. There are still tense issues all throughout it, and I want you to add a couple of hobbies that your chara has. I know she just experienced trauma, but there must have been a way for her to cope with it, right? Just a couple details about her likes and dislikes. What about her personality made her seem like a shell of her past? Did she stop caring for the world altogether? Why? Was it because she lost her most important siblings? Or was it because she realized that her faith in the security of her life was shattered? What exactly about the traumatic experience caused her to change dramatically? Not just plot-wise, but psyche wise. Believe me, if you are able to answer these questions then I have no doubt that you will be able to utilize Cosmos' tragedy to bring about awesome character development in the future.


And as for your Poke Profile, the only other issue I have is your attack stat.
Just copy and paste this after the Attack: 13 (23%)

Kk? Kk. I'll give you my 1/2 as soon as you respond back with your changes~
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