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| [A]Manny Mendoza; [Accepted] | |||||
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| Tweet Topic Started: 5 Jun 2015, 08:12 AM (405 Views) | |||||
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5 Jun 2015, 08:12 AM Post #1 | ||||
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Trainer Profile Character Name: Emmanuel Mendoza Nickname: Manny Gender: Female Age: 19 Trainer Class: Delinquent Birthday: November 16th, 181 AG Atrological Signs: Venconum; Year of the Goomy Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Religion: Nonpracticing Meuist Height: 4'11" Weight: 110lb Hair Color & Style: She has a lot of hair. Naturally? It's very dark brown, thick and luxurious. The brittle mess she's turned it into has been bleached white and then dyed bright pink. The damage caused by bleaching and dying it so much has turned it into a frizzy, unmanageable rat's nest that she would rather braid than attempt to take care of. Eyes: Fortunately she hasn't gotten the bright idea to snag pink contacts yet, as her eyes are still a warm brown. They're large eyes, and they'd be almost pretty if they weren't set in such an angry face with thick, dyed eyebrows. Clothing/Accessories: As one might expect, Manny wears a lot of pink. She has a dark pink jacket which she wears with almost all her outfits, and she has a preferences for torn up leggings and tight dresses cut above the knee. Sometimes she rocks gloves with spikes on the knuckles so that she can make people bleed, but thankfully Manny typically uses those as a last resort. They're shoddily made, anyway. She carries very little in the way of actual supplies, and that which she does carry is on her belt or in her wallet. She would honestly rather suffer through the cold than ditch her signature dark pink jacket, though she will occasionally don a scarf or a pair of mittens. Sometimes, Manny will even snag a beanie to cover her ears. Heat, on the other hand, will chase Manny to take off the jacket and tie it off around her waist. At this point she probably wouldn't wear leggings. General Appearance: Manny stands like she is going to beat someone up. Her shoulders are almost always taut, her freckled, cherubic face twisted into a scowl of discontent. One of her front teeth is missing, gone in a fistfight she probably doesn't even remember. If Manny ever eased up a little bit, she'd probably be adorable. She has a small button nose, big eyes, and a tiny bowed mouth that looks beautiful curved into a smile. She has freckles and chubby cheeks and just generally looks like she belongs in fifth grade. Unfortunately, every remark causes her to bristle, and the end result is a twisted, angry mug that Manny's mother wouldn't even kiss. Let's not even talk about her hair. She's ruined the stuff. It used to cascade down her shoulders, liquid and gorgeous. Now it's sort of a frizzy, frayed mess that she keeps braided, lest it attempt to leap from her head. No, Manny has not done right by her hair, but she'll fight anyone who tells her so. Hometown: Sangproctor City, West Godai Personality: Mew be damned, this kid is a handful. Manny can easily be described in a few short words: violent, disrespectful, and angry. She's quick to throw a punch in any situation-- the best way to solve world hunger? Punch the people hoarding all the food in the face. Seriously, do not get in her way. She may be tiny, but she will leap on someone and pummel them with her fists until they go down. The entire world is out to get her, at least from Manny's perspective. Every little thing is a personal slight, meant to annoy her specifically, and she responds in kind to the rest of the world. She lashes out verbally as often as she does physically, scathing words always dripping from her tongue whenever she can manage. Yes, Manny can be sarcastic, but if there's a more direct route she'll go for it. That is to say, she'd rather dig the metaphorical knife as deep as she can with hard truths. For someone who has such a skewed, selfish perception of the world, Manny is actually pretty observant of some things. She picks up well on body language, for one. As emotionally compromised as she is, she can tell when someone is about to get violent as long as they give the regular warning signs. She knows when her words are bothering someone by their tenseness and the changes in their stance, and she will do anything to drive that discomfort deeper and deeper. Fighting is easier than socializing for Manny. She's wild, angry at nothing and everything, and her attempts to communicate civilly are stilted at best. To approach Manny and not have it end in a fight is (a downright miracle, one) to approach her with patience and understanding. Somewhere inside of her, beyond that feral exterior, there's an awkward girl. She's sort of an jerk, this awkward girl, but she does want friends and happiness. It's hard for Manny to express any of this due to the previously mentioned assumption that everyone is out to get her. She's got a lot of trust issues. Manny has trouble believing in the kindness of others, given that groups of people she's hung out with since she was young have never been particularly kind. They stick up for each other, yes, but slinging barbs and the occasional fist was always their method of communication. When Manny had her falling out with these friends and broke away from all kinds of groups, suddenly the heckling didn't seem like a manner of initiation. Given that she spent a massive part of her childhood around these sorts of people, she assumes that others will be like them as well. Even interactions with people she can call friends are rough, filled with accidental insults and panic and jealousy. She's insanely possessive and protective of things and people she considers to be hers, and that doesn't always lead to the healthiest of relationships. She doesn't want to let another friendship slip away between her fingers, but she's never learned a nonaggressive way to have friends. Manny obviously doesn't have a shining moral compass. She's not above petty theft, assault, or disorderly conduct. She will throw a fit in the grocery store, hit the clerk, and steal the candy out from under their nose. It's not exactly fun for her. She's agitated with the entire world, and instead of dealing with it in a healthy way, she lashes out. Manny doesn't have healthy coping mechanisms anymore, if she ever considered that she had some in the beginning. She just explodes outward, verbally, physically, anyway she can, and she's left with this momentary relief afterward. It's a minute of not being quite so stressed, the adrenaline pumping through her veins making her forget that she was lonely or mad in the first place. Manny is almost addicted to that sensation, the cooldown after a fight she's won. Losing, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. If she's bested in a fight, she sulks. Yes, sulks. Like a child. She might throw a fit if she has the energy, beating her fists on the ground and screaming. If she doesn't, she'll simply find the nearest, highest place and pout. Desperately, Manny will fight back tears, believing them to be a sign of weakness from her time spent around older kids. She might pull at her hair or curse to herself if she's particularly frustrated. Hey, but at least there are certain things that'll sooth the savage beast! Manny likes high places where she can see the stars. Her visits to such places are about the only time she will not immediately leap on the offensive when spoken to, although she can always be wound up. It's inadvisable, however, given that she would probably throw the person winding her up off whatever high spot they're at. History: Manny was actually a pretty good kid. She was pretty obsessed with the color pink, going so far as to ask her parents to paint her room cerise. Her fondness of stars started young too, tacking up those probably poisonous glow-in-the-dark stars onto her ceiling while sitting on her dad's shoulders. She used to sit in her room with the lights off at night for hours, just staring up at those little things. Yeah, she wanted to go into space and just float there. It seemed like a fun idea when Manny was little! She started sneaking out of her room when she was seven to sit on the roof and look at the actual stars. That's probably where the delinquency began. It was an innocent enough act, born of the wide-eyed ideals of a child, but sneaking out the window when one is seven turns into sneaking into someone else's window when one is twelve. Indeed, that's pretty much what ended up happening! Manny was born to a pretty normal family, albeit one with quirky tendencies. Her mother, one Jackie Marks, was always a bit cold and distant. She spent more time reading than anything, and always imposed upon Manny the importance of completing her schooling. That was a laugh, given that Jackie hadn't even finished secondary school, but Manny let her mother have her fantasies for awhile. Fernando Mendoza, on the other hand, was a loving father. He was always assuring Manny that yes, her mother did love her, even if she didn't always show it well. They weren't exactly a perfect family. They went unmarried, and Jackie and Manny's relationship, even from a young age, was a bit strained. Jackie was cold, bitter about a journey lost before it began, and sometimes she took it out on Manny in her distance. A healthy relationship, this did not make. Sometimes they found it in themselves to read together, Manny turning the pages while Jackie spoke the words aloud, transporting both of them to another world. Manny's favorite book when she was six was one of those Meuist picture books for children, painted in soft hues of pink that have never quite left Manny. Over and over again, Jackie would read that book to Manny on request, trying to impress upon her the importance of knowledge above all else. It didn't stick well as Manny grew, spending less time with her distant mother. More often than not, Manny spoke more to her father. Fernando was a kindly man, and he always offered young Manny advice. It wasn't always sound, and Manny often let the words wash over her in that comforting way that her father's deep voice had instead of actually listening, but it was a way for them to bond. Then, as these things tend to go, Manny met a couple of older kids and she fell head over heels in love. The girl's name was Wendy. She was fourteen and her blonde hair had been dyed with streaks of teal. Wendy humored Manny for awhile, giving her friendship and helping her bleach and dye her hair for awhile. There were a lot of firsts with Wendy- kisses, cigarettes, hair dye, theft. Yeah, Wendy was a pivotal point in Manny's life. This was where she went from cute girl obsessed with pink to stand-offish punk obsessed with pink and Wendy. Manny tried desperately to impress Wendy, and in these attempts, she found herself changing. She snuck out more and more to all sorts of places. Most often she went to Wendy's house, because her parents didn't approve but she was not about to stop seeing this amazingly cool and beautiful person. Jackie thought Wendy was a punk, and Fernando was just worried that Manny would get involved in drugs. In the early days of their relationship, things between Manny and Wendy were reasonably innocent. Manny didn't even realize she was in love at first. Her desperate attempts to win Wendy over were born of this strange desire to be Wendy's friend rather than the though of dating her. To spark a friendship, Manny hung out with all manners of older teenagers at all manners of strange get-togethers and parties. She began to sleep in class because she spent nights off in random places, trying to inspire her elders to like her. She observed how the older kids dressed and most of all, how Wendy dressed, and began to model her style after them. Manny took to tearing up her leggings, stole a pair of boots and one of Wendy's jackets (a dark pink one, in fact, and yes, it is the one she can't be separated from), and started dressing "punk." This started at about thirteen, right when bodily changes were starting to hit. Her parents watched Manny's transformation with concern. For a few months, Fernando insisted it must just be a phase. Jackie wasn't so sure, given her genre savvy knowledge. As the latenight sneak-offs persisted and her way of dress grew more outrageous, however, the fights began. Jackie told Manny if she wanted to get anywhere in life she ought to stop acting like an idiot, which Fernando thought was harsh. He said nothing, resolving to have words with Jackie later. This hurt more than Manny could say. She'd though her dad had her back, at least, but there he was standing by while Jackie tore into her. The hair was probably the final straw for the whole family. Manny came home one night shortly after her fourteenth birthday, hair all a-pink from a suggestion (slash dare, and Manny wasn't about to turn down a dare from someone in front of Wendy), and the falling out was brutal. Even Fernando was upset. He'd always loved brushing out his daughter's hair. It had reminded him of something he'd used to do for his mother, and in the heat of the moment he'd thought it could never be the same again. After that argument, the entire family was distant from one another. Manny wasn't happy with that, per se, but she was too stubborn to see it any way other than hers. She threw herself into her relationship with Wendy, valuing it above all else, getting wrapped up in it deeper and deeper. They even kissed, sometimes, and it was like walking on air to Manny. She'd never felt so amazing as when her lips were on Wendy's. If Manny hadn't been so wrapped up in Wendy, she might have noticed that she was failing school miserably. She might have noticed that people were starting to whisper about her kissing another girl in the broom closet. She might have even noticed that she was so taken with Wendy that she didn't have any secondary plans. There was no one to fall back on if things with Wendy didn't work out. It was when Manny was fifteen that stuff really hit the fan. She was on poor terms with her family, and though she was in secondary school, her grades were remedial. Wendy was Manny's whole world. They spent hours talking on the weekends, tossing rocks at passing Pidove and smoking dubious substances. Manny was pretty sure she was in love, and what was she going to do when she was in love except try to make it official? She wanted to be girlfriends, partners who could take on the whole world together. Wendy only looked at her funny and brushed her off. When Manny persisted, Wendy said she was straight and that that should be the end of it. Manny wasn't about to take that as an answer, not when they'd smooched, among other things. The conversation that followed both shattered their relationship and broke something in Manny, a sort of tentative trust she'd had in the world that was now damaged irreversibly. As the years wore on, Manny's demeanor became more and more foul. She had no friends. She couldn't confide in her family, not when she'd burned that bridge of her own accord. Everywhere, she started seeing nasty looks and hearing cruel whispers. The world was full of crap, and she was going to fight it. Near the end of Manny's second to last year in secondary school, she was so close to flunking out that the office demanded she see a guidance counselor to figure something out. The counselor, a woman named Trelawney Baisden, had one conversation with Manny and felt all the pent-up rage from a girl who felt like she had no one to talk to. In spite of numerous attempts to coax Manny into less violent actions, Mrs. Baisden had little to no success. Finally, it hit her. Tentatively, Trelawney introduced the idea of Pokemon training to Manny, fully expecting to be turned down with some angry comment. She was! But there was a spark in Manny's eyes as well, one that hadn't been there before. The idea of a partner who she could protect and be protected by in turn appealed to Manny, and so did going out into the world. There wasn't anything left for her in Sangproctor City anyway. Her final year in Secondary School, Manny took an elective in Pokemon Training. She was determined to set out into the world and carve a path through it. Inventory Dians: 3,622Items: Key Items: PokéDexAdvancement Points: 4 Tier 0: - Making Friends: (2/15) - To Be The Best: (1/15) - Nursing: (1/15) Pokemon Total EXP Gained: 32
PC Box: Stored Pokemon Journal
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Basil Tolman Manny Mendoza | |||||
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5 Jun 2015, 06:45 PM Post #2 | ||||
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Nooope
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Alrighty Lime! Welcome to Godai; it’s a pleasure to have you here. I’m sure you want to get accepted ASAP so let’s begin - First off, for her ”Hair [...]” her brain cells died? Oh dear were you referring to the hair cells or the genetic impressions from it called single nucleotide polymorphism? Not only that but please tell me the condition in which allows the follicles to have stunted, and mutated to allow the pigments to shed off, below the cranium, turning it into a bleach white - if it has a name hehe. Then tell me one or two of the minor symptoms that accompany that said condition if there is any at all. There is a very easy answer for this but with your writing style, you got this down! You only have to do a quick research and if it is accurate, then I will allow it. We ask this just so people don’t choose to have whatever it is they want without being realistic in Godai. This is not a trick question ahah. For Manny’s ”Clothing [...]” what else does she wear in cold and hot seasons? Honestly I’m just looking for a sentence or two on this. For her ”Personality”, I think she is absolutely hilarious and I love her already! But let’s attempt to make this in third person and a slight bit more professional. Don’t be afraid to dish the details of the psychological process of the contact of Manny’s fists and the feel of flesh that it hits. For me, it gives me a sense of power and renewed energy during these fights and back then it was a metaphorical way to transfer my anger back at them. So what about Manny? What thrill - or no thrill - does she get from the contact of her fists? Let’s try and use a bit more proper words than “asshole” and see what other words can be used to describe her. Then, in what ways does she sulk like a child? What goes through her head when she is jealous or when she loses that causes her to act like the way you’ve described? Even despite her worldview that everyone is out to get her, then the question I must ask is why? My friend was the same way and his reasons vary from time to time, but mostly it’s due to his own broken self. He saw in others what he didn’t see in himself and thus became who he was and didn’t want to fix his weaknesses so he took his perspective became warped. What about Manny? What’s her psychological reason for feeling that way? In the end, her personality is pretty on point, but I’m just looking for another paragraph of details or a few more sentences of elaboration. The same applies to her ”History”. Please keep it in third person. Constantly ask the “why”s and the “hows” and question in what other ways does her History compliment her ”Personality”. Why did she like pink so much? What was the attraction she had towards it on a mental level? Don’t be afraid to really dish out the details! What was the overall relationship between her and her parents then? How did Manny feel throughout all this? Elaborate on her love interest with Wendy. On ,again, a psychological level how did Wendy slowly shape Manny into something else? What went through Manny’s mind as she saw a new perspective on life clouded by her puppy love? What else transpired in that rather large gap until she was 15? What other obstacles, experiences, events shaped her thought process? What did she see? What did she do the others that she would have never thought back on today? Did she ever doubt the things she did or was completely consumed by the idea of “fun” and continued on her merry way? How did she feel when she knew she was distancing herself from her family and it later deteriorated? Many questions! Again, don’t be afraid to really get in there. Tell us more about the other “friends” she made. What about school overall then? Even when she went to secondary school, what was her grades? What about teachers? Did anyone try to help? Anyone change her view of life in a way that allowed her some emotional growth? Is she struggling inside at all or does she think everything is currently peachy? You state that she wanted friends and happiness, well how is she feeling now? So on and so forth. Everything else looks perfect! So far you’ve got it down! But you’re missing quite a bit of details that would make your character more realistic and wholesome. I know you got this. Please post a reply when any changes have been made. Good luck! ♥ |
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![]() Sonak Paetdee Kian Conrad
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5 Jun 2015, 10:23 PM Post #3 | ||||
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I've made a good chunk of edits! What do you think of them? :D | ||||
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Basil Tolman Manny Mendoza | |||||
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5 Jun 2015, 10:31 PM Post #4 | ||||
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Nooope
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Yessss so much yes to these edits! So much too; I personally love it! 1/2 Approval on my end! Great job. ♥ |
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![]() Sonak Paetdee Kian Conrad
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6 Jun 2015, 05:29 AM Post #5 | ||||
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Blerrraaaugh -fire-
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She's like a little Vigoroth and Mankey put together! Omg you should totally have someone nickname her Mankey. I especially love the interactions she has with other characters in the history. But I see nothing that needs changing so congratz! Glad you took Bones' words into action.
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6 Jun 2015, 05:30 AM Post #6 | ||||
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Blerrraaaugh -fire-
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Your character application has now been accepted! Please make sure to create a signature of your character. Once that is done, you are now free to RP! If you made a personal mistake with your character, please submit a modification process involving a revamp. This topic is now closed without further ado. |
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