Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]


Pokemon Godai Staff
Godai News
Quick Links

Admin Administrators
~Mr. Johnapillar~

G-Mod Global Moderators
~Bones~

B-Mod Board Moderators
~DrakeX~

B-Mod Support Moderators
~Finny~
~Silent Partner~

Current In-Character Season:
Spring!


Month's TotM Winner

ON HOLD
For their thread:
ON HOLD


Want to see where you stand amongst
Godai's strongest? Check out the
Top 10 Leaderboard!

Don't forget to
Vote! --> <-- Vote!

Let's make this year a great one guys!
~Pokemon Godai Staff~


{{The Rules/Godai Resources}}
{{Gen I PokeDex}}
{{Gen II PokeDex}}
{{Gen III PokeDex}}
{{Gen IV PokeDex}}
{{Gen V PokeDex}}
{{Gen VI PokeDex}}
{{Gen VII PokeDex}}
{{EXP Table}}
{{Pokemon Master List}}
{{Godai's TM Catalog}}
{{Godai IC Trivia (Special RP Dex)}}
{{Questionable Moves/Abilities/Items}}
{{Error/Problem Report}}
{{Town Map}}

Add Reply
Llianne Application
Topic Started: 9 Jun 2015, 06:31 PM (129 Views)
Posted Image Toxic.Cuttlefish
No Avatar


Trainer Profile

Character Name: Llianne Kowako
Nickname: Lilu
Gender: Female
Age: 15
Trainer Class: Swimmer

Height: 5' 5"
Weight:120 lbs
Hair Color & Style: She has black hair that's shoulder in layers. When she's on the road she likes to pull her hair back in a half pony tail and is often tucking the loose strands behind her ears. Often to no avail because of the short pieces.
Eyes: Llianne has green hazel eyes that start brown near the pupil and transition to blue on the outer part of the iris sometimes hidden under thick eyelashes and well kept, curved eyebrows.
Clothing/Accessories: Often in jeans that are rolled up to her calfs and a good pair of navy blue sneakers when on the road. When she's in a town Llianne will wear her favourite flats. Llianne wears a grey, slim fitting T-Shirt with a black vest over with her favourite necklace of a fake Cascade badge that she had made tucked insode her shirt. She's always sporting her favourite watch and bracelet that she found while roaming a beach town. During an Ocean festival near her home she found a hand woven, blue messenger bag that she ultimately bought and uses to carry her potion, pokeballs, food and treats for her pokemon.
General Appearance:

Posted Image

Hometown: Cascadia City, South Godai
Personality: Llianne feels most at peace on the shores of Godai be it walking on the sand or taking a rental bike for a spin on the hills. When under pressure Llianne tends to act without thinking and this has gotten her in trouble when she was a child by being pressured to "borrow" a bike without asking and didn't listen to her conscious when it screamed "no". The adventure before her exited her and reminded of the trips her family would take to the nearest markets and festivals when she was a child. She would often sketch the pokemon in her town dating them and often journalism where she had found them and what they were doing.
History: Llianne was born and raised in Cascadia City, learning to fish before she could walk. Her father, William, was a fisherman during the summer months and Llianne always seemed to fuss unless she got to go. Not without her mother, Abigale's, okay of course. At first Llianne would find sticks and twigs as her father used nets in the surf to catch fish with a few of the other local fisherman and swing it as if she was casting it. Seeing this over time William would take some loose netting that had been cut from the fishing nets and would tie it to whatever stick Llianne was holding. She would cast and often loose the line in the ocean, watching it get crushed by growing waves. When she wasn’t fishing she was learning to paddleboard or dive with her mother who would take her to see school of Remoraid and a few Floatzal, Polywag and Horsea. Over time William taught his daughter how to properly cast and reel in her first fish when she was 5. It was a large blue fin tuna that they took home and had for a celebratory dinner. After that Day Llianne went fishing with her father whenever she could, once in a while some of the men would bring pokemon to help with the fishing. Over time she would watch the pokemon, most of them normal types, engaging in often minor battles with water pokemon, often in just a playful manner. Many of them bringing her they're catch. One day when she was 10 a workers Persian brought her a Magikarp covered in scratches. Lorelai took it to the nearest Pokecenter at once and got it healed. The center lent her a pokeball to carry the healed pokemon back to the ocean to release it. She went home to grab a paddle board that she had been practicing and took it to the same beach where she first got the magikarp. Paddling out a few yards Llianne noticed what appeared to be a school of magikarp followed by some other pokemon and fish she did not recognize. Deciding this seemed like the best place and decided to free the magikarp. Releasing the pokemon in open water felt the most amazing for Llianne. Watching the magikarp being released and splash around the surf is what started Llianned to study these creatures that she lived so closely to and knew so little about. She decided that she wanted to be a water pokemon trainer and learn all that she could from them and about them.

Inventory

Dians: 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 0
Tier 0:

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Spheal
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Tamazarashi
Gender: Female
Type: Ice/Water
Ability: Thick Fat
Height: 2' 7"
Weight: 87.1 lbs
Health: Intermediate
EXP Rate: Medium Slow
EXP Gauge: (0/6)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Division: D9
Total Stats:
  • Attack: 9
  • Defense: 9
  • Sp. Attack: 11
  • Sp. Defense: 13
  • Speed: 8

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Water Gun
2. Defense Curl

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Posted Image Mr. Johnapillar
Member Avatar


Hey there, nice to have you on the site. You have a pretty good profile here, but there're some improvements to be made. I'll start from the top and work down.

Firstly, make sure that only the Subject Headers are bold, the stuff like Name: there are dozens of examples of how this should look, emulate those.

Next, there's no such thing as a cascade badge in this universe, so edit that description out. Also you might want to note what kind of shirts and colors she likes to wear, as well as what she wears in different climates and temperatures.

General appearance also needs to be filled out, look at the character application template post for information on this.

Cascadia City is not a coastal town, you'll need to edit her history or pick a different city, the town map will help there. Also, it's not in South Godai, I have no idea how you came to that conclusion but that'll need to be edited regardless.

Next, personality. This is good, but you might want to reformulate it a little bit. Right now you seem to not mention many of her likes or dislikes, you have some stuff on Morals but they're not explained very clearly, why did she steal the bike against her consciousness? Peer pressure? Does that mean she cares more about being accepted by those around her than her own self worth? If so, think about what that would mean for someone and the way that would touch her life.

Next, put a space between personality and History, it'll make them a little easier to read in this case.

And onto the content of her history, we don't know all that much about what made her into who she is. All you focused on is how she became a water type trainer, but what else is she besides that? A History should justify a personality. What was school like for her? Did she have many friends? What kind of friends? What other events could have made her into how you envision her to be? What made her to be the type to want to travel? Was it the fact that she didn't get to see her father much? Elaborate on these questions and ask yourself some more, and see what magic can spring.

Next you EXP gauge is numbered incorrectly, the EXP post clearly describes what needs to be done, or look at other accepted characters. Your stats need to note both the total stats and what percentage you used. And also your moves are numbered incorrectly.

And also you have a few silly typos and misspellings, even using an incorrect character name in your history. Make sure you proofread~

Hopefully this won't be too much for you, you have a good foundation, let's build on it together~ Good luck with the rest of the process, post here when you're finished so the mods can definitely see~
Posted Image

Seth Halley Thawyer • Astronomer • Total EXP Gained: 369 • Dians: *dian* 300 • Location: Serenity Lake

Pokemon


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Incomplete Characters · Next Topic »
Add Reply

~Affiliates~
FTG Pokemon: Terrene Living the Dream: a Pokemon RPG Pokemon: Forever Forgotten Ironside image Bleach Platinum Hearts


Remember to vote for Pokemon Godai as your favorite Pokemon RP Site!!!

Vote for us every day by clicking the banner above!

Black Water created by tiptopolive of the Zetaboards Theme Zone
Pokémon ©1995-2016 Nintendo, Creatures, The Pokémon Company and GAMEFREAK.