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Locked Topic
[A]Karlos Rotikubi; [Accepted] My First Character Done
Topic Started: 12 Jun 2015, 01:34 AM (314 Views)
Posted Image Karlos_Baron
Member Avatar


Trainer Profile

Posted Image
Character Name: Karlos Rotikubi

Nickname: Doc

Gender: Male

Age: 19

Birthday: December 15th, 181

Western Zodiac: Galloshutz the Rapidash

Eastern Zodiac: Year of the Goomy

Trainer Class: Pokémon Trainer/Doctor

Height: 6’4”

Weight: 92 Kgs 202 Pounds

Hair Color & Style: Karlos has golden blonde hair which isn’t in any particular style, it simply falls down the back of his head going down to his shoulders. It’s cut just so that it doesn’t go into his eyes. It’s cut pretty perfectly so that it just falls down to just over his eyebrows, he doesn’t care what it looks like but he finds satisfaction with washing it whenever he can just so it doesn’t go all greasy.

Eyes: Karlos has light brown eyes, the color of desert sand, people say he has the eyes of his mother but he wouldn’t know. He is required to wear glasses at most times.

Clothing/Accessories: Karlos wears small reading glasses as he is far sighted, these glasses are only needed for reading and seeing people when they are up close. His normal attire is brown jeans and coast with a darker brown shirt underneath. He isn’t one for fashion and he doesn’t normally care how he dresses but it’s obvious that brown is his favourite colour as that is what he normally wears. His backpack carries all his items that he can’t carry in his pockets and his shoes are just basic sneakers that are comfortable to run in if needed. He wears a ring on his right index finger with a symbol of a Claydol on it, it was a gift from his father that he was given when he started his Pokémon journey.

Hotter Climates

The only time Karlos will have a separate set of clothes is when the climate is too hot for him to wear his coat and jeans, in this climate he will wear a Grey singlet with Red strips on the shoulders and red shorts that go down to his knees. He keeps the sneakers on in all climates as they are the only pair of shoes he owns.

Colder Climates

In colder climates the only thing he'll change about his outfit is he will wear a blue and white striped scarf that he puts around his neck. It doesn't do much to keep him warm but he wears it to not look like a freak.

Colder Climates

General Appearance: Karlos is quite tall for any age standing at a height of almost two meters, he’s not over weight but he isn’t slender and he doesn’t have much muscle. He is fairly average in every other sense; he has broad shoulders and is often seen as handsome from most women.
From a glance, Karlos looks like the kind of man who doesn’t care for anyone but himself by the way he acts around other people. He isn't often seen smiling as he is usually in deep thought about almost anything. This can often be seen by how he carries himself, the way he walks is as if nothing can stop him, he has very heavy feet which causes him to have almost a wobble every time he steps.


Appearance


Hometown: Oraclair Town, North Godai
Personality

History

Inventory

Dians: Posted Image 951

Items:
Posted Image 4x Pokéball
Posted Image x2 Potion
Posted Image x2 Antidote
Posted Image x1 Burn Heal

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 27
Advancement Points Tier 0



Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 11

Pokemon
Posted Image
Baltoy
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Baron
Type: Ground/Psychic
Ability: Levitate
Height: 1’ 8”
Weight: 41.4lbs
Health: Scrawny
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: (18/22)
EXP Gained: 11
Level: 9
Division: D8
Total Stats: 99
  • Attack: 10
  • Defense: 22
  • Sp. Attack: 17
  • Sp. Defense: 30(30%)
  • Speed: 20

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Confusion
1. Harden
4. Rapid Spin
7. Mud Slap

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:

Pokemon
Posted Image
Ducklett
Caught at Level 9


Nickname: Lady
Type: Water/Flying
Ability: Keen Eye
Height: 1’ 08”
Weight: 12.1lbs
Health: Low
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: (18/22)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 9
Division: D8
Total Stats: 99
  • Attack: 20 (20%)
  • Defense: 24
  • Sp. Attack: 15 (15%)
  • Sp. Defense: 21
  • Speed: 19

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Water Gun
3. Water Sport
6. Defog
9. Wing Attack

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 

Adventure Starts Now - 8EXP, Posted Image 461, 5AP
Pre Adventure Shopping - Posted Image 850, 2x Potions, 2x Antidotes and 1x Burn Heal
The First Encounter! Lumina Bridge! - 3 EXP, *dian* 340, 22AP, -1 Pokeball

Edited by Zaiaku91, 16 Jul 2016, 05:39 PM.
Profile
Posted ImageName: Karlos Rotikubi
Nickname: Doc


Dians: *dian* 951
EXP Gained: 11
Last known location: Wisteur Town, East Godai


Karlos’ Team
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Posted Image Bones
Member Avatar
Nooope

Hey there Baron! We have a fellow doctor in the house! /shot. Anyways, it’s exactly as John said this is nearly perfect! There’s just a few changes but I’m sure you’ll blaze right through em. Let’s begin -

First for his ”General Appearance”, perhaps add in just one more sentence about how he walks for someone so tall? For example those who are tall tend to waver a bit as they walk without them knowing or even waddle. However, there are those who have practice walking with wonderful posture no matter the height. Something like that!

Then let’s zoom onto Karlos’ Personality and History -

For his ”Personality” you’ve definitely hit the minimum however I am so very positive you can add in much more! What else can we know about Karol? His weaknesses or strengths? Any more strengths or flaws? A certain mindset surrounding his ideals, morals, and beliefs? How does he feel about mankind, pokemonkind, and so on and so forth? Basically I’m asking you to elaborate his entire personality. Continue to ask the “why”s and the “how”s as you reread this. Why does he feel the one not to initiate a conversation? There are varying levels of introverts so what kind is he and for what reason? For example, would he rather listen to the word come out from others so they can make that initiative so he can feel more secure, or does he not want to because he doesn’t want to continue a conversation if he’s the one to start it? Doesn’t have to be only limited to those two of course so what’s his? Why does he have a soft spot for psychic type Pokemon? What’s so special about them internally or externally that causes him to like them? Is it because he believes them to be pacifists or is it because of their specific type that makes him feel comfortable? Then, why has he never been good with new people? For what reason(s)? Like for me, it’s because I’m wary of if they want me to certain purposes back in my home country, that or because I know that once I make their acquaintance I have to be the one to keep it up and it’s exhausting for me. What about Karolos? Why does he yearn for a new friend - what is this certain emotion he feels that he goes as far as to really want this friend? Loneliness? How does he keep things logical and never think outside the box? Examples? So on and so forth - you get the gist! Don’t be afraid to flush out the details!

The same applies to Karlos’ ”History”. Think about how these situation and events would have affected Karlos on a psychological level - basically a mental processes and changed either stunted or furthered his emotional development/growth. I loved how you put down how productive he was to cover what wasn’t given to him - superb! - but how did it make him feel? Don’t forget, his ”History” is there to compliment his ”Personality”. Basically it is here to explain why Karlos is this wonderful person he is today! For example, how did he feel and what went through his mind when his mother passed? Then how did he feel about his father who neglected him? What was the relationship before and prior to these incidents? How did he feel when he was forced to mature at an early age? What led him to studying and locking himself in his room? I know you explained it on an external situation, but what about mentality? Why not restrict himself to video games, arts and crafts, or simply leaving the house to go wandering outside in nature? Why specifically studying? I’m sure you get the gist of that! What I’m looking for is something as simple as the first sentence on your second paragraph!

There’s a small confusion I have based on how it’s written. You say that Karlos’ father was a researcher studying the ruins, however Karlos wanted to best his father and in turn decided to take care of Pokemon? What is the correlation between studying ruins and then taking care of Pokemon? What changed his idea of research to healthcare? How did Karlos act for that amount of time when he was conflicted on whether or not be “happy or sad” about the circumstances with his father? And as time continued what processes went through his head? You get the gist. What about school then? How did he fare in his studies - what about grades? How was his relationship with teachers? What exactly caused him to not want to make friends? Why did he somewhat isolate himself based on what is stated on his personality? I don’t really see this in his history, so I’m asking it now. Besides the timeline of his dad’s deterioration, what else transpired for the emotional and cognitive development for Karlos?

That’s it! Everything else is fabtacular~! I know there’s a lot I wrote, but honestly I’m just looking for a few more paragraphs for his personality and just a few complimentary sentences of elaboration throughout your History. You don’t need write up a dissertation, but just be as detailed as you can! You got this, and I’m excited for your changes.

Please post a reply when any changes have been made. If you have any further questions, you know how to reach us. Good luck! ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Karlos_Baron
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Thank you so much Bones, I have added a few things to the history and personality and added that bit to the General Appearance. If there is anything else it would be appreciated. I am excited to get started.
Profile
Posted ImageName: Karlos Rotikubi
Nickname: Doc


Dians: *dian* 951
EXP Gained: 11
Last known location: Wisteur Town, East Godai


Karlos’ Team
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Bones
Member Avatar
Nooope

Okay! Pretty good changes! I'm pretty happy with his History so yaaay! Now just a little bit more on the "Personality".

You definitely have the gist down, however, I still don't get much of him in terms of his mental processes. Basically what I'm asking is how he felt on an emotional level - similarily along the lines of your last few paragraphs! For example he studied those types of pokemon because he felt they were unique and thus captured his interest. So I'm going to reiterate my first post about your initial sentence. Why doesn't he want to initiate a conversation. Just because he's an introvert doesn't make it so because I am one too but I have no problems initiating conversations because I know I am forced to in order to get ahead in my studies. However at the end of the day I need to be alone in order to restore the energy lost. So what about Karlos? What kind of introvert is he and why he he prefer to not initiate conversations first? The same can be said to him knowing someone. What does it mean for him to finally be comfortable by "getting to know someone". Like for me, I have a lot of boundaries but I would have to know them for a minimum for four years before I start to actually talk about myself other than superficial things. What about Karlos? Something like that!

Think on a more psychological level! And again, I know it feels like I'm asking for a lot, but really I think just a few sentences more on that he feels internally will make him a much more wholesome person. Then I can give you my side of the approval! You know the drill. ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Karlos_Baron
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Ok I hope I did everything correct, I still don't quite understand a lot of the mental thinking as this is my first time ever really thinking about it in an RP character in such detail. Your help is very appreciated as I can feel myself learning better writing techniques.
Profile
Posted ImageName: Karlos Rotikubi
Nickname: Doc


Dians: *dian* 951
EXP Gained: 11
Last known location: Wisteur Town, East Godai


Karlos’ Team
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Bones
Member Avatar
Nooope

You have! Great job! And it's completely fine, you actually hit the points I was looking for exactly. So kudos! I'm very happy with this profile.

That said...

1/2 Approval. ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Mr. Johnapillar
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This is pretty good~ who doesn't love some daddy issues~ I hope to see some exploration of the various ways of looking at Karlos's life.


Your character application has now been accepted! Please make sure to create a signature of your character. Once that is done, you are now free to RP! If you made a personal mistake with your character, please submit a modification process involving a revamp.

This topic is now closed without further ado.
Posted Image

Seth Halley Thawyer • Astronomer • Total EXP Gained: 369 • Dians: *dian* 300 • Location: Serenity Lake

Pokemon


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