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Lillian E. Hale; The Complete Application Form!
Topic Started: 19 Jun 2015, 04:06 PM (360 Views)
Posted Image Quillz
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Trainer Profile

Extra Stuffs




Character Name: Lillian Elizabeth Hale
Nickname: Lilly, Lizard, the letter "L"
Gender: Female
Age: 18 years old
Trainer Class: Delinquent (Jap. Scary Miss, こわいおねえさん)


Birthday: August 19th
Atrological Signs: Lumlow the Luxray, Years of the Zebstrika
Allignment: Chaotic Nuetral
Religion: Meuism ("To a point,")

Height: 5'4"
Weight: 127 Lbs.
Hair Color & Style: Strawberry Blonde, Feathered, Layered unevenly, Styled with hair products (or sometimes more herbal approaches when on the road such as certain gooey plants or "Horsetail" essences,) and otherwise choppy to reach around the shoulder blades or "chest length"
Eyes: Bright Orange-Hazel
Clothing/Accessories:
Lillian generally dresses in an Emo or Punk style, mixing the two with Grunge, Rock, and Gothic or Punk Rave styles to make her own trend. Consisting of dark colors, odd acsessories, and other things generally associated with the "Dark" side; Whatever Lilly is seen wearing obviously was a combination of unique taste in fashion.

Most commonly is her trademarks of torn or sleeveless shirts, worn with jackets or chains, and some sort of ripped jeans or leggings. Boots are almost always apart of this toxic mesh of black fabric and torn thread. Necklaces or Chokers complimenting the many peircings found in her ears and lower lip, one in particular having a thin chain connecting one from the cartilage to her own lip, with she can disconnect and reconnect at will with the small clasp at the beginning and end of said chain. It should also be worth mentioning she has two jeweled studs in her lengthy tongue, for which her childhood pet name "Lizard" came from.

Lillian often carries a side bag with a long strap, decorated accordingly with many pins and ribbons; Everything she may need being inside, including her sketchbook and portable game console.

The six poke'balls for her team are actually attached to the bag's strap, the Holocastor in her pants' back pocket until it would be needed.

General Appearance:

Appearance



Lillian is the kind of woman you would hope is not over her teen years, or at least, able to come out of them soon enough. Barely tall enough to pass for an adult, and flat enough to be "mistaken" for one, she might very well pass as a younger teen if she dressed the part. Maybe even a male teen if she tried!
The childish features would help with this, as well as her over the top style; A clash of Thug and Rock Star to "give life some spice," so she claims. Proving this fact, she has been scolded by her peers on multiple occasion for "Wearing such trash," to which she immediately replies a hurtful comeback, making her look even more like a trouble maker. Albeit, her form does portray a more shameless, if not carefree spirit, and she lives up to that well enough without the attention it brings.

The most common trait for her, suprisingly isn't her strange attire, but her hair. Even when dressing casually, the medium, choppy length of the almost spiked layers truly catch the eye and, really, look sharp enough to poke the eye out! You often hear her crack bad jokes when people comment on the amount of product used to make it so feathered and uneven. The blonde tresses brushing along the back of her neck and caressing just past the shoulder blades in an almost scenic "mullet" of silken tendrals. She is quite often speaking as if she used it to Peirce her ears and other areas, as it looks indeed wild and lightning-struck enough to do so, envoking others to either look upon in horror or, a scary sort of admiration to say the least.

Having her ears, lip, and - creepily long, - tongue loaded with metal and the like does that to people. Perhaps if she were to change the calm, if not eerie gait to a more upbeat trot, people wouldn't fear the toothy grin she wears when meeting new "Play mates". Then again, it could always just be that constant husk of her vocal cords; Surveying and calculating behind a friendly, deceivingly innocent gaze.


Hometown: Durskrim Town


Personality:

Lillian Hale was always the oddity of the school grounds. The first to pull the fire drill and last to end up in detention for a reason other than simple fun, it seems that ever since she was young, life and joy went hand in hand. However, looking at her, you probably wouldn't guess what really happened. Not to say she grew up in horrid conditions, just unfair ones, and so to escape the constant need for maturity, she became a sort of "Woman Child", being both the wise woman needed, and the child she deserved to be. Unfortunately, this mind set never truly left. Even to this day, she would rather spend her time having tea with stuffed Poke'dolls than go to any form of adult party or event. Most see this as a problem, but really, it might actually be a good thing, as it doesn't seem to hinder her over all ability to function in society. The only noticeable mention being lack of Romance, as she is not the type to worry over - let alone engage in, - such scary ideas.

To clarify "Function", it's rarely such a major circumstance, albeit possessing some strange ways.

She's often seen giving strangers hugs, nicknames, even presents out of the blue. Just because "They looked fun" or "They seemed sad". As one can guess, this gets her even more strange looks and even petty brawls. Restraining orders even occurred on a few occasions because she kept following a girl around and calling her Kitten because of the Feline like Mew ears worn upon meeting.

Even with this weird, overly friendly exterior, Lilly is quite good at advice. Depicted by friends as the expert of emotions, she very rarely turns down a friend in need, and is generally good at quickly defining and fixing the issue at hand, despite not having any actual Empathy ability. Most chalk it up to pure instinct while others just assume she's just that kind hearted (or strange).

With all this, Lilly still defines as a tough girl from the rougher ends. Quick to help and slow to follow orders being her main way of living. The motto "Hard head for harder knuckles," being a catch phrase she often uses when defying anything that gets in the way of her end goal, proving just how determined and independent she is. This independence even crosses into vanity and slight hypocrisy, although She only thinks others don't follow her logic a hundred percent.

All things aside, Lilly is probably the kind of woman who you won't encounter again in life. Having an air of wild confidence, unchained curiosity and unbound compassion, while somehow keeping childish joys and elder wisdom balanced, being "Too Old" and "Too Young" for her age…she truly just might be one of a kind in this world. You better be dang sure she's proud of it!

Quick List View




History:

Lillian Elizabeth Hale was the child of mystery man A and mystery woman B. Another way of saying, she was an orphan. Now, now, she was not some Oliver Twist clone. The foster home she was put in was generally very clean and kind, giving Lilly all she could need and more.

It was only Her own stupidity and greed that led her down a darker path. One she often regrets, and curses the Gods for on sleepless nights.

It all truly started in her early teens. Before drinks and drugs, but after makeup and slight experimentation. Sexuality confusion aside, she was still odd, but not so odd as the Lillian today. Just short of a casual Emo if anything, and full of the need to be free from it all.

Despite having no true worries as far as abuse or cruelty, she was the oldest in a house of Fourteen girls, and was expected to be the Mother when the actual Foster Mom was out. This was well after James, Nicole's husband, walked out on fourteen kids and a semi-stable income to hook up with the neighborhood sweet heart. Suffice it to say, He never returned to play the role of daddy, and with mommy dearest working double time, Lillian took both roles from early morning to almost late at night. Afterward, Nicole would come in and all would fall into balance…until five in the morning when breakfast would need to start up.

Nonetheless, minor stresses aside, they did carry their toll, so when a cute boy offers Lilly a token of energy, who was she to turn it down?

Well, she certainly turned down. Way down, and people noticed. The Meuism Mother got on her back about grades until it became a fight of toothe n' nail to even get up for school. When she would wake up, she would have probably been getting ready to get to a nearby gathering to do all of it all over again, with new people and new tests to get new "energy" or really, just something NEW.

This lasted for about a year, with two trips to a teenage jail, three or four changes in placement, and an icicle of a heart. One house did turn out to be bad, and the Boyfriend of the woman would lock her in the closet until withdrawals would settle, causing hospitalization and a temporary psychosis to form. It was only until the year of her sixteenth birthday and two more changes in location that she even both considered and tried whole heartedly to quit the drugs, because obviously the constant moving wasn't helping.

It was all because of a mute kid who lived with her at the time, who was half her age, and would often run to her for comfort. Lillian had only known the girl for a few months, and grew fond of the constant attachment and sisterly affection the child gave, since most other kids in her life took each other for granted just like most of the adults did. Some tried, but when others don't return the effort, it all becomes a give and take type of bond when things were said and done. Even so, the child was so full of wonder and hope that Lillian found her heart was beginning to defrost again, returning back to a motherly, familial compassion.

They would walk to the store together, play, and protect each other from dangers of the world. Lillian often sang lullabies, and read stories, occasionally teaching the child how to write or read while coping with not having drugs in her system anymore.

While in the rain, the child found a young Pokemon out by the outer slums of the area. It was practicly still a baby itself, seeming anorexic and just, very sick. Lillian told her about death and that it was time to let it go and go back home, but the mute refused, holding the small furred creature like her own life hung in the balance. With some stubborn arguing and a drawn out sigh, Lilly did bring the Pokemon home, and while the mute snuck it upstairs, took a beating for it as well, since this particular family wasn't happy about the very, very late return.

With the help of a local Pokemart, and some theft skills, the pokemon was recovering, and finally - after much grooming and care, - could actually be recognized as a healthy, young Houndour. The girls were overjoyed at the new pet, and life continued on. It was only until a subway wreck ended it, nearly for both of them.

On the way to school, the route was thrown off course, and two trains collided. The girls were both horridly marred, but Lilliana managed to survive somehow. The mute…did not. Nor' did the Houndour they nurtured, who was trapped in their backpack so they could sneak out. After the crash, Lilliana stayed in a coma for almost two whole years, before waking up to hear the tellings by a good friend from school who the mute made her talk to for her. Telling him of the small girl's dreams of being a Pokemon Champion, and battling along side the best - through the sign language they taught each other as a form of communication.

Hearing the news, both the death and the time put Lillian into a state of shock. She did not speak or even leave the confines of her Hospital Room for an entire month. It was only until the same friend left a Poke'ball after a visit that she uttered the first two words spoken in weeks.

Hell Hound.

He left her a Houndour. A bit bigger than the first, and much more energetic, if not hostile, but still. That one gesture, and the letter that was under the gift explaining his thoughts, was enough to make her move forward enough to leave the care of nurses and worried psychiatrists.

He spoke of how he feared the mute would not rest in peace. How he, a medium, found her name was Casedy, and that she wanted to stay and be with her big sister. Lillian was touched, but unsure on how to make sure the child's spirit would be happy enough to find peace. Instead of merely pondering simple ways such as prayer and devotion to shrines, Lillian decided to make Casedy's dream her own, and become apart of the Elite Four. Maybe even the Elite Four Champion!

At her age now, a full adult, nothing could hold her back, and it was this determination that started her journey and brought out the childish hope inside her, long since thought burried by shame.




Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 0
Tier 0:
- Title: (#/#) (Delete this for now, but this will be what it will look like when you are awarded AP)

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Houndour
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Hell Hound
Gender: Male
Type: Dark/Fire
Ability: Early Bird
Height: 2’ 0”
Weight: 23.8 lbs
Health: Low
EXP Rate: Slow
EXP Gauge: (7/9)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Personality

Division: D8
Total Stats: 55
  • Attack: 11
  • Defense: 7
  • Sp. Attack: 17 (31%)
  • Sp. Defense: 6
  • Speed: 14

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Ember
4. Leer
4. Howl

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here

Edited by Quillz, 25 Jun 2015, 04:52 PM.
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Posted Image Riffraff
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Hey Quill! Nice work with Lillian! Let's get started with what we need to fix before we get Lillian into Godai! ^^

  • Maybe describe her hair a little more. How long is it? How does she have it styled with the layers?
  • Her General Appearance is brilliant, but could you possibly add in some details of her body and such? For example, talk about her expressions, her posture, the way she walks and etc.
  • Her Personality and History are brilliant, well done!
  • Hell Hound is nearly perfect too! We just need to fix the EXP Gauge, Stats, and moves. Check out the EXP Table. Houndoor's EXP Rate is 'Slow', so you need to look at the Slow column. Find the number for level 5, and the number for level 6, and those will be the numbers you put in the EXP Gauge.
  • Don't forget to add the percentage used for Houndoor's Sp Attack in brackets next to the stat
  • Houndoor, unfortunately, doesn't learn Tackle in Godai, so that'll need to be removed.

    You've done really well, so it shouldn't take much to edit what you've got. Thanks for your patience, and I hope to see you accepted soon ^^

    Also, nice name for Lillian, we've both got characters called Lili haha.
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Posted Image Quillz
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Editing finished, Raffles. >:3
How's it lookin' now?
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Alright, much better!

The only things that still need editing is the bit about the hair, and the Pokemon section.

You've got the Houndour's EXP Gauge as (12500/7), which would mean that it currently has 12500 EXP points. The second number in the Gauge is to show us how many points is needed until the Pokemon levels up. Take a look at the EXP Table (Click here) again and follow what I said before. Houndour's EXP Rate is 'Slow', so you need to look at the Slow column. Find the number for level 5, and the number for level 6, and those will be the numbers you put in the EXP Gauge.

We also list the moves by the level they are learned. It might be worth looking at the Gen 2 Pokedex (located on the top-right hand side of the site) and seeing which level Houndour learns its moves.

Also, your stats are fine, however, the Pokedex here states that only the SP Attack needs a percentag. Keep the 31% there (but make sure it reads (31%) rather than (% 31)) and remove all the others.

Thats all I can see now, but we're so close! Thanks for your patience ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Lol thanks, Raff, and I apologize, I forgot to do the gauge at some point and thought I did it already. I'll fix that and the stats now, and figure out a good way to edit in hair description later on tonight/tomorrow morning. Thanks so much for sticking with me and helping this much. I'll post again after this one when its all finished :)

I wish I didn't have to do it all on a phone though Q~Q
I would finish it much faster with a laptop, so I apologize :3
Edited by Quillz, 22 Jun 2015, 03:06 PM.
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OH, I think im done now...hopefully, lol

Note: I wasn't sure if you wanted me to edit the actual "Hair" location, or appearance, so I put in as much visual I description in the general appearance as possible to make up for it. Hope it works!
Edited by Quillz, 22 Jun 2015, 08:53 PM.
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What you've got is good! I did mean to change the Hair section, however. You could just move what you've put for her hair in the General Appearance and put it in Hair Colour/Style, and that'll be fine ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Rawwwwwwwwwwr! -uses thunder on a nearby town before copying and pasting again to edit in phone notepaf-

...Okay :3
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Done Raffy!
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Alrighty, here's approval 1/2 ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Nooope

Alrighty Quillz! It’s my turn! You’ve made some great edits, but I’m going to be that person and ask for just a bit more before I give you your final well deserved approval -

First off, I suggest proofreading your application one more time. There are quite a few punctuation and spelling errors at first glance.

For her ”Eyes”, please be a bit more specific. You can see this by looking at ”Accepted Characters” and/or ”Character Application Template” to see the details put into this!

For her ”Clothing [...]” what about during hot or cold weather? What will she wear? However, I say great job on her ‘General Appearance by the way. Loved it.

Please look at ”Common Application Mistakes” for her ”Hometown”. Once you’ll see it, you’ll know what to do.

Let’s zoom into her Personality and History. Even though it’s very lovely, let’s add or elaborate a few more things to make Lilly a much more wholesome character -

Starting with her ”Personality” try to avoid second person and stick with third person all the way if possible. Also, constantly ask yourself “why” and “how” as you review this one more time. Why does Lilly act like this? What is the psychological process that goes through her mind - what are these emotions and cognitive mindsets that allow these certain actions to happen? Why did she find doing those particular ‘stunts/pranks’ fun? Was it attention she was looking for? A sense of being the one to cause a reaction and indulge herself in the look of panic from her classmates? For what reasons go through her head to perform her actions? Why does she feel to need to fulfil both the societal woman mindset as well as the societal child mindset? She yearns for this why? I know you said because he’s missing that part, but what about it does she want to prove for herself? What exactly is she trying to fill in this void? What are the current emotions that replace this void for the time being? Anger? Lonliness? Sadness? So on and so forth. Why did the mindset never truly leave? Is it because even though she does not like it, said mindset has become a sense of comfort for her and thus she can not leave it without feeling more empty than she has with it? Iunno! Just speculations and rambling I suppose. Again, why does she do the things she does as we continue to go down her Personality. How is she good at advice? What does she do? How does she say it? There’s a huge variations of having a sense of empathy with others but vastly different experiences to how to approach the situation. How does Lilly do it? Why does she do it? How does she do it? Don’t forget to very much lessen the usage of “you” and keep it more professional and concrete! Not only that but don’t be afraid to really delve into the details and description for why Lilly is the way she is and what other psychological attributes go through her mind.

The same applies for her ”History” in terms getting into those details about what allowed her to go through the stages to reach a sense of personal and emotional developmental growth throughout her years, and to review what needs capitalization vs what doesn’t. I would definitely highly recommend going through how Lilly felt throughout all these experiences. How did she feel about herself as an orphan, why didn’t she question her upbringing? If she went through that very particular stage that orphans go through when questioning their own self worth in the world - and why? How did she get out of that stage and what was the mental processes that took place that either delved her deeper or away from that line of thought. What helped? What was a catalyst so on and so forth. You did an excellent job on telling what happened but there’s not much I can latch on that allowed for me to understand why Lilly was the way she is today - which is due to the lack of details in the ”Personality” but that’s /perfectly/ fine, because if you elaborate up there, you got the rest down like a hammer to a nail!

Now I’m okay with everything else, and I know you understand what I mean by delving into the details so I know I don’t need to repeat it - but on a realistic level I’m going to zoom onto the “coma” part. Being in a coma for more than a few months gradually weakens the muscles of the limbs of a person. And because Lilly was in a coma for two whole years, it is vital she must go under physical rehabilitation to learn how to walk, speech, and function again. Not only that but think of the recovering aspects on a realistic level. She would need to learn how to ‘eat’ again in terms of her stomach being able to digest whole foods instead of the IV system. Sadly, that small stage that some go through is a huge huge /huge/ part of their lives and changes them dramatically than the actual norm. Rethink this part again or do a little bit of research to make it more plausible. Not only that but being in a coma is very very expensive, so who funded for that? I’m not saying it’s bad. It’s quite creative actually, but for the sake of realism I’ll have to make a note of that.

This is getting rather long, and I trust you know what I mean for everything above. I know it’s long, but honestly I’m just looking for more elaboration on a psychological basis than just a list of things that happened! With your writing, you definitely got this in the bag. You know the drill. Good luck! ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Well for starters,thank you for pushing me to be a better writer, but curse you for giving me so much while WAR time is going on.
(Without a roof,)

Ill try my best,but because I need my phone for emergencies, I may take a bit longer than usual. It shouldn't need a farewell thread, but if I can't get it done while sitting in a random store, I'll get to writing and posting that to let you know.

Once again thank you both,.you two to rock!
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Nooope

Oh no! I do hope everything is alright. Take your time and do not worry whatsoever! Your application will stay where it is for exactly 30 days from your most recent reply.

After that, we never ever delete apps, but instead move it into "Incomplete Characters" until it is edited and notified once more. So take all the time you need!

Stay safe and good luck! ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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