Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]


Pokemon Godai Staff
Godai News
Quick Links

Admin Administrators
~Mr. Johnapillar~

G-Mod Global Moderators
~Bones~

B-Mod Board Moderators
~DrakeX~

B-Mod Support Moderators
~Finny~
~Silent Partner~

Current In-Character Season:
Spring!


Month's TotM Winner

ON HOLD
For their thread:
ON HOLD


Want to see where you stand amongst
Godai's strongest? Check out the
Top 10 Leaderboard!

Don't forget to
Vote! --> <-- Vote!

Let's make this year a great one guys!
~Pokemon Godai Staff~


{{The Rules/Godai Resources}}
{{Gen I PokeDex}}
{{Gen II PokeDex}}
{{Gen III PokeDex}}
{{Gen IV PokeDex}}
{{Gen V PokeDex}}
{{Gen VI PokeDex}}
{{Gen VII PokeDex}}
{{EXP Table}}
{{Pokemon Master List}}
{{Godai's TM Catalog}}
{{Godai IC Trivia (Special RP Dex)}}
{{Questionable Moves/Abilities/Items}}
{{Error/Problem Report}}
{{Town Map}}

Locked Topic
  • Pages:
  • 1
[A]Celestia Senyu; [Accepted]
Topic Started: 24 Jul 2015, 10:38 AM (1,478 Views)
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar



Posted Image


Trainer Profile

Character Name: Celestia Senyu
Nickname:Celeste
Gender: Female
Age: 13 187AG
Birthday: May 22nd
Trainer Class: Tourist

Atrological Signs: Jeunswill the Twins, Togepi and Cleffa ; Years of the Munchlax
Allignment: Neutral good
Religion: Meuism
Dialogue: Lilac


Height: 4'6"
Weight: 99 lbs
Hair Color & Style: Brown hair, she has the front of it kept up by two purple orbs, she also has one above her right one.
Eyes:Her eyes are an apricot. They are pretty large and round.
Clothing/Accessories: Celeste's clothing is mostly filled with pinks and whites, she also has a small about of black. She has a hime Lolita type outfit type.


Standard outfit
Celeste wears a pink red laced dress, the dress has cross strap that is frilled. She has a black waist wrap that leads off into a red ribbon coming off of it. She has knee high white socks laced with red ribbon. She has red mary anns that have red bows on the back.

Sleep wear
She sleeps in a normal pink night gown but always has a stuffed bunny and a bunny night cap. She has bunny slippers in her feet too.

Summer wear
She has a pinkish yellowish sun dress with with polka dots and has her hair curled instead of braided, she also has a flower in her hair. She carries an umbrella if it's really hot. She has her normal shoes on.

Winter outfit
She wears a pea coat with a kitted pink dress under. She has mittens and ear muffs. She wears small boots.

General Appearance: Celeste is a small, weak, and weightless young girl. Though she is so small she still can pack quite a punch. Her skin is pale due to her being inside most of the time. Her skin is very soft with no bruises or cuts, and she smells like cherry blossoms. Her lips are soft and small, her noes is a small button, with short small ears, her teeth are as white as snow and her chin is pointed but soft. Her cheeks always have some what of a blush on them whenever she smiles, and it causes people to never leave her alone for how "cute" she is. Cause of her small stature she's always making herself taller without standing on her toes. She's kinda skinny near the stomach and chest and has skinny legs and arms.

Hometown: Oraclair Town, North Godai

Personality: Celeste is the type to get excited over the little things in life. Since she is constantly moving at her own pace, responsibilities like chores or homework may be pushed aside. It is not that she is irresponsible; rather, she gets distracted by what is going on around her. However, given enough time, Celeste will work hard to satisfy her obligations. Additionally, she prioritizes fulfilling her promises to people above both distractions and responsibilities.

She tends to move quickly from one place to the next. It is not a reckless transport; instead, there is a fluttery, butterfly-like grace to her movements. Since she gets caught in the moment easily, her emotions are expressed instantaneously. Happiness will spread across her entire face the moment she feels it; likewise, you can tell Celeste is disappointed by her immediate pouting. She has the tendency to get giddy from joy and may even jump into the air or spin in place to express her delight.

Celeste has a whimsical imagination. From her perspective, concepts of fantasy and the supernatural are certainly possible. If you told her that you had the power to control the weather, she probably wouldn’t doubt you. Even if something seems logically impossible, she may believe in it simply because “it’s more fun that way.” The mindset may come across as gullible, but it is more purposeful than that. Celeste finds life to be a true wonder; being open-minded about what constitutes as “logical” or “illogical” makes the world that much more beautiful.

She has been called childish before, but she tries her best to remember that there is nothing wrong with the way she is. She’s quite innocent; there are a lot of references and jokes that float over her head. The way she sees the world makes a degree of childlike innocence necessary. Even if Celeste only understands the world to a certain degree, she wants it to stay wonderful and beautiful forever. Keeping herself pure creates a unique perspective that helps capture the beauty in life.

Still, despite how wonderful the world can be, Celeste does not understand it that well. She has a stronger understanding of people. She pays attention to the feelings of the people around her. She doesn’t want to hurt or alienate people, so she places special care in being sensitive or tactful when it counts. This can cause her to spend an entire conversation listening to the other participants without attempting to truly join in. She may become a drain for other peoples’ venting, which in turn makes her interactions with people taxing. As much as she loves to be with people, too much interaction will make her tired.
She is known to bottle up her own emotions. She hates to burden her friends with her problems, so she hides her sadness behind a smile like a rainy day hidden behind curtains. Celeste’s friends and family know how well-guarded the girl is about her negative feelings. She has no problem openly smiling, but openly crying is difficult. Locking herself away in this way causes her negative feelings to snowball. It takes a person she trusts to bring her out of the pits of despair.

Another weakness of Celeste is that she is often too trusting. She does not like the idea of people being deceitful or mean, so she may lie to herself about a person’s intentions to avoid making such an assumption. This can lead to her being hurt by those with ill intentions. Since she also has little backbone, it is easy to push her around. The only exception to this phenomenon is when her loved ones are in danger. In those cases, her resolve manifests itself, and she will do her best to protect those she loves from imminent danger.

Finally, everyone who knows Celeste can tell you that she is easily swayed by the world of sleep. She tends to nap often and has been found sleeping in a variety of places or circumstances. Doing too much – whether physically or mentally – makes her even more tired, increasing the hours in which she will sleep. Her sleep schedule is sporadic, which can be a lot of trouble during the school year. It is not uncommon to see her asleep during breaks, such as lunch. No doubt she is dreaming of beautiful things.

History: Celeste was born an only-child in Oraclair Town. Her parents were kind, cheerful people, full of love and patience. Her father’s job as an assistant of Pokemon science was their only source of income, so money was always tight for the family. Regardless, her parents constantly smiled and enjoyed the little things in life. Her parents’ ceaseless joy and contentment with their meagre conditions became a model of how Celeste should act, so she grew up with a similar mindset for life.

Her mother stayed at home, taking on to herself the tasks of cleaning and cooking since no one else could do it. When Celeste wasn’t at school, she spent most of her time with her mother. Her mother taught Celeste many things about the world and life. When she had problems, concerns, or questions about the world, it was her mother’s boundless wisdom that eased or entertained the girl’s mind.

Her father was the definition of a family man. When he arrived home after a day of work, he spent the rest of the evening helping his wife prepare dinner or playing with Celeste. His wife and daughter were his pride and joy. Despite how tight their lifestyle was, he never hesitated in buying things for the two of them. Celeste soon learned that nearly anything she asked for would end up as a gift from her father later. As she got older, she eventually stopped telling her parents when she wanted a new toy or book, because she was concerned that they would spend too much on her. She figured that having less material things was a valuable trade for her parents’ happiness.

Around others her age, Celeste was great at keeping up with small talk and listening, but was often interrupted or overlooked when it came her turn to speak. Because she tried not to draw too much attention to herself, she had little presence among her peers. This made it easy for people to forget her. However, those who actively reached out to her could break through her quiet, subtle presence and meet the cheerful girl underneath. Most people who took the effort to become her friend were given unflinching loyalty and kindness.

From time to time, Celeste suffered from strange mood swings. They were very specific; she became quiet, withdrawn, and a bit cold. The personality shift is sudden and stands out because of how much it contrasts with Celeste’s usual state. Her parents were never sure what caused the shift, but the episodes are short and few. When asked about it later, she always denied any sort of change. Those who had witnessed her episodes decided not to push the issue – they chalked it up to her just having a bad day.

Celeste and her aunt got along well. They liked to spend time together playing games or goofing around. They often went around town to explore. Her aunt was fond of mystery books and supplied Celeste with a large number of recommendations. Her school life was standard, though a bit lonely, as Celeste had trouble making friends.

When Celeste turned 12, her parents got her a the best present she could ask for, her very own Pokemon. Though she was in the world of Pokemon, she never really thought much of them as her parents never seemed interested in getting one. But when she was 11, her friends were talking about how they had cute Pokemon and stuff, and she figured that kids her age should have Pokemon. When she got home she started to read books about Pokemon history, and started to get really invested into Pokemon. Her parents noticed this and asked her aunt for one of her Pokemon. SO her aunt sent one of her younger Pokemon, and she got one for her birthday. The Pokemon was Sweaddle and she nicknamed it Miracle because she read that nicknames give your Pokemon good luck. When she turned 13, she realized that she was being a burden on her parents as they were getting older, so she decided to go off on a Pokemon adventure, one for the idea of an adventure and two, so that she could maybe get money for her parents.
Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 0
Tier 0:


Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Sewaddle
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Miracle
Gender: Posted Image
Type: Posted ImagePosted Image
Ability: Swarm
Height: 1'00 / 0.3 m
Weight: 5.5 lbs. / 2.5 kg

IC Info


Health: Scrawny
EXP Rate: Medium slow
EXP Gauge: (6/8)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Division: D8
Total Stats: 55
  • Attack: 4
  • Defense: 14(26%)
  • Sp. Attack: 16
  • Sp. Defense: 12(22%)
  • Speed: 9

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1.Tackle
1.String shot

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Edited by Ariblooperchao, 19 Feb 2016, 02:25 PM.
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Wremn
Member Avatar
Blerrraaaugh -fire-

Heya, Ari Booperchao!

So, I'm excited that you made your first character already~ That was super quick! Before I go to review it, however, I would recommend that you look over your application again for me. It definitely helps to read other peoples' accepted characters and this helpful link *TADA!* will definitely help you iron out a few things in your app.

When you're ready for us to take a more thorough look at your character, respond here~ Thanks!
Posted Image


Characters
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar


First things first...The name is Ari~ <3

Second...I'm not new to RPing so don't think that because it was so quick it was rushed and stuff... X3 and I DID make edits where edits where due mom... (Jk don't hurt me ;~;) and I made sure I had no spelling errors... X3


Third, I used an accepted post when making this so... Ha...I guess....


and fourth...I feel like such an idiot cause I was like "put Celeste next to the name...Put Celeste next to the name..." and I didn't...I'm a bit of a ditz if you couldn't tell... X3


Hope this is not a bad impression~
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Wremn
Member Avatar
Blerrraaaugh -fire-

So hey, Ari~

Of course you're not an idiot. That's not a nice word to use in the first place. No one was thinking that, and I guarantee you that you're adorable above anything else. o3o

And, the only reason I wanted to double check if your character was finished or not was because you hadn't written anything in for the General Appearance and some of your sections don't follow the word minimums in the Character Application. Also, you need to look over your Pokemon Profile again, sweetie~ (Especially the stats sections, which I know can be kind of tricky)

I have a feeling you didn't read through this linky I provide you last time either: *CLICKY*

So before I move this back to the Character Application section, make sure you're super duper positive that you're ready for us to give your profile a proper critique. Respond here and I'll be happy to help if you have any further questions or just want me to move it out of W.I.P.

Posted Image

Posted Image


Characters
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar


C..C...Cute?! H..Hey! Don't say things you don't mean! A..Anyway, yea I had a feeling I had to do something with the general appearance it's just...So...Much work...To type...On sitcom Tuesday... But in all seriousness I just used bulbapedia for Miracle's stats and I guess that was the wrong idea... and you may not have been thinking it but...I'm an idiot XD
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Wremn
Member Avatar
Blerrraaaugh -fire-

Heya Ari!

I'm so so so sorry you had to wait this long to get a critique for your character!

So I'll make this quick and to the point, so your chara journey won’t be delayed any further.

  • First off, please add spaces after the colons in your profile subheadings? (Aka Age: 13) And please turn 4'6 ---> 4'6"

  • Could you also describe the colors of her footwear? And it's Polka not Poke. There could also be a little less spacing. Everything else is great :)

  • No need for the parentheses. You could also add a little more about how Celeste carries herself, other features about her face (lips, chin, nose, etc) and her body structure (is she lanky, a little chubby, or in the middle?)

  • She's so adorable! Yet we could write even more about Celeste? What makes Celeste so shy? I know for some it's a fear of embarrassing themselves. For me I sometimes may seem shy even though I just don't like to talk to people sometimes. How does she then open up? What does she like to do/talk about with others? How does she like to help others, like spend time with them, give them little gifts or encouraging words? How are her current relationships? Does she have lots of close friends, like pokemon better than people, or does she really just 'like' everyone but not really have close relationships? (I know you stated some of this in the History, but in the Personality section you get to explain Why) You said she was a hopeless romantic. (Same here ;_;) But how does she approach romance? Does she love to flirt and be all cutesy or stalk her crushes from behind street lamps? What else makes her angry, and how does she cope with her anger? Is she quick to forgive? How about her hobbies! Celeste must have lots of time on her hands. Feel free to add much more~

  • Alrighty. For your history, i find that it helps to make a timeline and divide it into sections. I use "Birth and Early Life, Schooling/Growing Up, Hobbies/Side Details, Events Leading to the Present". You can have your own timeline sections but if you could do this for me, and add chronological events to the timelines and then add what Celeste's reactions were to these events and /Why/ she reacted to them would be superb!

    For example. How did Celeste approach her schooling as she grew up? In Godai it isn't common for ten year olds to leave on pkmn adventures as it is in the anime. Age 14 is actually a more appropriate age.

    And don't forget to provide how Celeste's family memebrs and friends acted towards her in her history. Feel free to add in events inbetween those that really shaped Celeste. It really helps to elaborate on how the events shaped the cutie. It really helps others to see the deeper side to Celeste and allows us to relate to her even more!

  • Now onto Miracle's profile. Everything is good except for the stats. I encourage you to look a little more at the Statistics example placed in the Guide to Godai. If you're really struggling, then I'm more than happy to walk you through it via PM.


Alright Ari! I know that's alot of text to read, but you have put so much work into Celeste's profile already that I'm so proud of you! I didnt put so much work into my first profile when I got here and was discouraged at my first comments on it, but I took the advice knowing that I was but a newbie. Mistakes were natural. Thus, after taking the advice and two years of improving, I have now become a mod! So it just proves that hard work and perseverance gets you places. ^^


One really good tip I learned was to never ever be afraid to edit edit edit. Perfection is false and thus even if you have a little inkling that it could use a little more, listen to your gut and add more! We're always willing to help ya iron things out.

Ok? So once you've made your profile enhancements, respond here and we'll give it another look!
Posted Image


Characters
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar


Okay I'm done with Miracle's stats~ I hope it's good now~ <3 ::love::
Edited by Ariblooperchao, 28 Aug 2015, 03:06 PM.
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar


Hello! Just wanted to ask if anyone could help me out with my app...It's been like from the beginning of October that anyone has asked me about this so...i was just wondering..


-XOXO Ari ::love::
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Bones
Member Avatar
Nooope

Alrighty Ari! On behalf of Wremn, I must whole heartedly apologize that this has gone under the radar. It was no way on purpose, and for that I am very sorry.

That said, let’s cut right to the chase so you can quickly get your profile accepted. I’ll leave out all sugar coating, so if my comments sound negative, just know it is not! -

First off, I would ask that you please be professional in this Application. This means no side comments found within the parenthesis. This is to keep everything uniform and well - professional. Think of it as a resume. (i.e - Please take out things such as: “(I don't eat a lot!!)” and “(Mostly for boyz X3)” and much more).

Then I would like to direct you to ”Accepted Characters” and please see how it is that people have done their applications. As you can see no one leaves comments such as “(Duh Duh duhhhhhh!)” on their profiles. This may inspire you further or be used as a guideline for what I’m about to say. No one is an exception. As a reminder, please be professional. Not only that but keep in mind that Godai is a realistic place.

For her ”Name”, if her friends Celeste, then that sounds like a ”Nickname”. Please fill in that appropriate category.

For her ”Height” and ”Weight” (and age) especially with what is written in her ”General Appearance”, she is not at all weak or weightless. In fact she is teetering near obesity. Please do the proper research and adjust accordingly. While you do have her at “small” which is correct, her weight is rather massive. You should be looking for an average weight of 70 to 85 pounds.

For her ”Eyes”, please use the appropriate vocabulary instead of “look very “kawaii”ish”. While I understand it is "cute" in Japanese, my character does not have any of Chinese or Thai romaji within its application. Instead, I look for the proper words to describe what I mean! Be descriptive! Please use standard English. Not only that but what is its shape? However, most importantly, red and green are two very contrasting colours. How does hazel eyes look red? Are you talking about the flakes? If so, realistically speaking most of those “red flakes” lean towards mahogany. Please review this.

For her ”Hometown”, she must live in a Town or City. Please reread the rules or review the ”Application Template”.

There are a bit too many things to correct before we move on and thus I will stop here for now. Please review the following before you post telling us that you are completed:

  • ”Common Application Mistakes”
  • ”Character Application Template”
  • ”Accepted Characters” - to see the Standards in which we hold everyone towards. Not only that but use those characters as a guide line to see what we look for and what may look incorrect.
Additionally, please properly space your paragraphs accordingly so they do not look like a gigantic blur within Celestia's "Personality" and "History".

As a final reminder - please be professional. This means no strikes, no emoticons, no OOC parenthesis unless it is relevant to your character!


You have quite a way to go but that’s okay! If you are in need of any assistance, please PM a mod or ask anyone in the Cbox! Good luck! ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar


Posted Image
I'll get to work right away! It's honestly kinda embarrassing each time make an edit I just need to make ten more but at least I'm advancing! I don't think I'll be the first to say but this site really is super professional so I'll try to be up to snuff, please just bear with me as I act like a super noob~

-XOXO Arietta
P.S. The weight thing is because I origanally had her at 4'6" and 69 lbs (That's my weight and I us it a lot) but I was told that it was too light so I changed it, and I did so here too. But I'll change it! ://D
Edited by Ariblooperchao, 7 Dec 2015, 09:02 AM.
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar


I have made edits!~ Not really sure what else there is to say...

-XOXO Arietta
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Bones
Member Avatar
Nooope

That’s strange, perhaps the person who told you forgot to take Celestia’s age into consideration. Regardless the ”Weight” has not changed and is still overweight. You can feel free to put 69 pounds or even 79 pounds if you want, as I see a lot of patients around that weight/height/age range.

As Wremn said, “polka” is still “poke”. Perhaps some re-reading on the past suggestions might also be beneficial just in case you’ve missed some small details!

Anyways, these are some wonderful edits. I’m quite impressed. We’ll take this one step at a time. So let’s start with the ”Personality” -

Firstly, avoid using “you”. Then, while this is probably the better skeleton I’ve seen in a very long while - kudos! - review this asking yourself “why”. You’ve definitely got the “how” down which is perfect, but it is missing the “why” element on a psychological level. For example, why are first impressions everything to her? Is it from herself or from other people? Does that mean she’s rather judgmental about who she can talk nonstop to? Is there something she’s insecure about? Or is she looking for something best to relate to, someone she’s chosen that will accept who she is? Is it a defense or reaction mechanism? So on and so forth. Doesn’t have to be those but skies the limit!

Most of these traits are lists of what she does, so instead try and think more of what her “weaknesses” or “strengths” are and how they affect her on a psychological level. As I do not see any. Additionally, why does she get enraged about her size or breast size? Why is she that insecure to do so? Does she have a Napoleon complex of some sort? And how does that affect her on a cognitive level? For example, a friend of mine who is also short for his age also gets rather peeved and feels that when someone comments on his stature, he automatically thinks they look down on him and think his skills are not up to standards. Also, on a psychological leve, if she’s suddenly mad, how can she immediately forgive someone? What was the point of her being mad in the first place if it never really affected her in the first place?

Most importantly, I’d like to see a paragraph about what Celestia’s world views are. While you have how she views herself down, I must ask how she views the world around her? What her morals, ethics, and beliefs? If you’re not sure what these are, go ahead and use Google as examples are sure to come about.

Lastly, if you’re ever stuck or you’d like some stable ideas, please check out ”Accepted Characters” to see what people have done for their characters!

You know the drill once anything has been edited. You have a good spirit going, keep it up! ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar


Posted Image
Alright then! I'll get right on it~ You feedback is always appreciated, but I think I'm going to stop making these posts unless I'm saying I made an edit~ <3
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Ariblooperchao
Member Avatar


Posted Image (I'll stop with these now)
Okay~ I've made the edits~ But...I don't think I did it exactly how you wanted to me to...Sorry.. Please just tell me~ ^^;
Posted Image
A small mew escapes your mouth as you stare at your new cat eared headband. Suddenly you realize, your new life is...Neko...


Celestia Senyu • Tourist • Total EXP Gained: 0 Dians: *dian* 1,000 Location: Oraclair Town North Godai

Celeste’s bundle o' joy
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Posted Image Bones
Member Avatar
Nooope

Pretty good pretty good Ari! However, to reiterate again -
”Weight” is still completely off from what you are saying in her ”General Appearance”.

While the ”Personality” is okay, they’re not quite connecting, or in other terms, they don’t quite make sense. I sort of get it, but at the same time it’s a bit hazy. For example, I still have to question why and the purpose of Celeste being shy? How does shy correlate to first impressions? From whom? Celeste making a first impression, or the other person making a first impression on her? What does first impressions from [who?] correlate to her depressing outlook? What even is her depressing outlook? There’s so many that it is just way too vague. Don’t be afraid to be specific! You have the vocabulary in your arsenal to word it the way you wish! This also sounds quite important, and a trait you can attempt to delve into - on a psychological level: why and how doesn’t she feel she “really” has a reason to exist? This delves into what her world view is and especially her view upon herself. While you gave a snippet on Religion - which is good and all - it doesn’t quite answer the questions asked.

In actuality, the few sentences at the end of your first paragraph is rather superb so try and reword or elaborate those above it! Additionally, Celeste enjoys reading - so how does that make her feel on a psychological level? Is it because it makes her feel free? That maybe she has some importance in the world? Is the reason why she’s a romantic the only way she clings to the thread of hope in the world? While a bit morbid, these are only speculations for your character! I don’t want to write out your character, but see how these branches come about? See the connections that stem to one another? That is the level I would like to see. You can do that quite well as you have showed it in snippets already.

Additionally, I am not quite sure if this is an exaggeration or an attempt on flowery language, but why would the “dark” place be someone pointing out her physical attributes to having her forgive them easily compared to her not feeling like she matters? Also, I still would like to see actual traits of weaknesses and strengths.

Please, I implore you to read ”Accepted Characters” to see perhaps see what I mean! Read the other members’ character(s) to obtain a grasp upon what traits or types have been implemented into those wonderful characters.

We must hold you to the same standard as everyone else. There are no exceptions. You’re doing quite well and are making great progress. Hang in there. Just a few more clarifications and then we can move on. Good luck! ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
Learn More · Register Now
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Accepted Characters · Next Topic »
Locked Topic
  • Pages:
  • 1

~Affiliates~
FTG Pokemon: Terrene Living the Dream: a Pokemon RPG Pokemon: Forever Forgotten Ironside image Bleach Platinum Hearts


Remember to vote for Pokemon Godai as your favorite Pokemon RP Site!!!

Vote for us every day by clicking the banner above!

Black Water created by tiptopolive of the Zetaboards Theme Zone
Pokémon ©1995-2016 Nintendo, Creatures, The Pokémon Company and GAMEFREAK.