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Everyone's Movie Reviews; Cause I'm Bored
Topic Started: 25 Jul 2015, 01:14 PM (1,216 Views)
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Hi I'm Vincent but most of you know me as Vincent. I have decided to set up a thread of all the Movies I've seen recently and would like to give opinions on. These will generally be very new movies.

The reviews will be set up in 2 parts. The first part will be Non-Spoilers. This will give you a general view of the movie and will essentially say whether or not it's good or bad. The second part will have spoilers and will be in a spoiler box as such. As tempting as it is to talk about this section, I ask that NO ONE talk about the spoiler section in the CBox.

Not only that but these reviews WILL NOT have a number system. There are plenty of bad movies that I like and good movies that I hate so this is mostly going to be biased but I'll try to keep it a fair as possible.

Without further ado, let the reviews begin. This starting topic will act as a contents section.

Page 1

Page 2

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Edited by Vincent, 26 Mar 2018, 03:27 PM.
Vincent Straum

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Minions Review

This is a bad movie. It was made on the minions hype and purely that. The movie focuses on 3 minions who go on an adventure to find the most despicable villain they can find and become their loyal servants. Each of the 3 minions have their own personalities which is nice but there is only so much personality you can add onto creatures that don't speak English. The whole affair sort of reminds me of the 3 stooges. Jokes repeat way too often like the classic Banana line and there is no real story to it. In fact what story there is can fit into a movie half it's length.

There is no Gru. There are no adopted daughters. It's just slapstick joke after slapstick joke. While each one is funny in its own right, a movie where they all follow on from each other sort of diminishes them. Even during the climax of the movie, there are jokes. You have to be a true Minions fan in order to tolerate them.

Overall, a bad movie. It sort of feels way too forced and sort of treats it's audience like idiots. Save your money and go watch something else. If you HAVE to see this movie, wait until someone records it and posts it online. This movie doesn't deserve your hard earned cash.

Spoiler for Minions
Edited by Vincent, 25 Jul 2015, 01:37 PM.
Vincent Straum

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Ant-Man

Ant-Man. The best bad movie so far. Paul Rudd plays a Burglar called Stott Lang who has just got out of prison. After some genuinely heartwarming moments with his daughter, Scott manages to acquire an unusual suit. He takes it home and puts it on, pushes a button and shrinks down to the size of an ant. He then hears a voice in his helmet that tells him he has a job for Scott and must become the Ant-Man in order to fulfill his task.

For a Marvel movie, it's quite poor compared to recent titles like Age of Ultron and Captain America. This is to be expected as the first director gave up halfway through. Marvel had a deadline to meet to requested their new director to just finish the job instead of start again, and it shows. The whole movie feels like there were 2 conflicting views on how Ant-Man should be portrayed. And while they both would do the man justice, together just makes the whole experience jarring.

It's not a bad movie per say. Paul Rudd does a fantastic job of playing Ant-Man, managing to makes jokes even in tense situations and managing to make a somewhat "boring" superhero power entertaining.

One complaint I've been hearing is that, "Oh, Ant-Man is just another Heist movie". I'm sorry but for a super hero who can shrink, what do you expect him to do for 2 hours of a movie? Fight his way through hordes of people to end with him being a hero? A heist movie is the best way they could have gone with Ant-Man. It's not to say there isn't any fighting, but it's not the biggest focus.

Overall, it's a decent enough movie. If you are a Marvel fan, watch this movie, especially seeing as he's confirmed to appear in Captain America: Civil War. Even if you only use this movie to learn about Ant-Man, it's worth your time and money.

Spoiler for Ant-Man
Vincent Straum

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Inside Out

Inside Out is a movie about the mind and how it works. 5 beings known as Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust all sit around a console and control the emotions of our young girl, Riley. At the age of 11, she moves to San Francisco with her family and things happen within her head. Sadness, who up till this point has done nothing but stay out of the way, ends up touching a happy memory causing it to turn sad. Joy panics, chaos ensues and Joy and Sadness end up away from Headquarters leaving Anger, Fear and Disgust to try and cover for Joy while she and Sadness try to get back.

This movie is not the best Pixar movie that they have made in terms of entertainment, but it is probably the best in terms of tech. It takes most aspects of the brain and tries to explain it the best it can so that a child could understand. It has been so effective that Psychologists actually want to use it on children to help them understand how their brain works. While we all know that it doesn't quite work like the movie suggests, you can't help but want to imagine it does.

Inside Out is a fantastic film and definitely one you should see with your pre-pubecent children. That sounds really creepy but it's the best time for children to watch it as the main child Riley is that age herself. It's well written enough for a child to understand and has it's fair share of adult jokes for the parents. Worth every penny.

Spoiler for Inside Out
Vincent Straum

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Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

I first want to preface this by saying that I haven't seen any of the previous Mission Impossible films. Nevertheless...

This movie is amazing. I went in expecting James Bond but it's more about the missions rather than the women and the fast cars. Every mission feels like their lives are on the line, and with so many minor characters, you expect at least one of them to fail (I'll save that for the spoiler review).

Now that isn't to say it didn't have it's flaws. Some of the actors felt a little too forced with their lines and there was a bit too much waiting for my liking, but it's still an enjoyable watch.

Go and watch this movie. All you need to know about Mission Impossible is that there is a subsection of the CIA called MIB and they are the guys that do a task without following the rules, almost like the anti-heroes. As long as you understand that, then you can watch this movie without having to see the previous ones.

Spoiler for Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
Vincent Straum

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Fantastic 4 (Reboot edition)

If there is one thing that should be said about this movie, it's "This is the movie that proves Marvel properties should be made by Marvel and Marvel only." I have a lot to say about this movie but for now lets stick to the good.

I think the actors are brilliant. They do the characters justice and make them believable. Special props go to Toby Kebbell in is portrayal of Victor Von Doom. Critics didn't like what Dr Doom had become but he is a lot better than in the 2005 movie. I also liked the story idea (Note how I said "Idea". Just wait on that). The idea is brilliant, much more believable than the space nonsense from the first movie. Also the CG looks nice. Again critics hated this but for the style that the writers were going for, it fit the bill. Speaking of writers...

Simon Kinberg, Jeremy Slater and Josh Trank. You three and the biggest boneheads to ever walk this earth. The screenplay is atrocious. There are large segments of the movie that didn't need to be there mainly because they were then explained, quite well, later on in the movie in just a few sentences. Fantastic Four is about 4 abnormal people coming together to stop an evil force. But ALL if that happens in the last 30 minutes with the first hour and a bit setting it up. The set up usually happens in the first 30 minutes guys. Pretty much every writer knows this by now. Heck Simon Kinberg actually DOES know this, being the writer of Mr and Mrs Smith, a brilliant assassin movie.

To be honest I blame Trank. He has hardly any movies under his belt and this was one movie that has had 3 movies before it, one which wasn't even released upon completion. I mainly say this because Kinberg is directing Deadpool due next year and Slater is directing the American Death Note movie, 2 movies I really want to go well. Shame on you Trank.

Also you know it's a bad movie when Stan Lee helped with the movie but didn't make a cameo.

Spoilers for Fantastic 4
Vincent Straum

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The Martian

Matt Damon plays Matt Damon in Spaaaace but isn't Interstellar. This time he plays an astronaut stranded on Mars after his crew assumes he's dead. The movie then becomes a tense "Will he/Won't he" survival movie with the occasional laugh.

Speaking of laughs, Scott Ridley did a fantastic job of creating enough laughs that the editors could work with to ease the tension a little bit. You're millions of miles away and stranded on another planet but there is still enough time to make a fart joke.

If you are one of those people who likes to look for scientific accuracy, firstly; get a job instead of nit picking. Secondly; this movie is riddled with inaccuracy from the gravity of Mars to it's atmosphere. If the movie was accurate, then 2 very vital scenes wouldnt happen and therefore would ruin the film. Go into this movie thinking "It's just a movie, not real life"

Most of the actors I liked. Some were a little too annoying for my tastes and some decent actors barely got any screen time. Take Michael Pena. He is a brilliant actor yet most of his scenes were just comedy. I'd have liked to see him do more action. Meanwhile Jessica Chastain can shut the hell up. You speak way too much for someone in a Matt Damon film which is about Matt Damon.

Overall it's an amazing movie. Filled with Science falsities and confusing space jargon but definitely worth watching.

Spoilers for The Martian
Vincent Straum

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Back to the Future Parts 1, 2 and 3

As thes movie came out over 25 years ago, I will not be putting a spoiler section in. The whole thing will be spoiler heavy. I mean seriously if you haven't watched Back to the Future, then I am confiscating the rock you've been living under. All notes aside and rocks taken, the review will be split up into each respective part and will only reference the movies before it, not after.

Part 1

Marty Mcfly is your typical american high school kid. He plays guitar, can skateboard and has a girlfriend. He also seemed to befriend an old man known as Doc Brown because a man in his 60's doesn't need a reason to befriend a 17 year old boy. Anyway, Doc Brown announces to Marty that he has managed to make a time machine out of a Delorean DMC-12 (Which, after the owner of the company was arrested and caused the company to become bankrupt, remains to this day the only Delorean model made). He says that; Quote, "Once this baby hits 88 miles per hour, You're gonna see some serious shit". Why 88 miles per hour? Cause it was the top speed of the Delorean. Literally no other reason.

After proving the machine a success, he is gunned down by Libyans (Because Doc stole their Plutonium to fuel the time machine) forcing Marty to escape in the car and goes to the year 1955 where he is stuck there unless he and 30 year old Doc can power the machine up again.

What i love about this movie is that it shows exactly why Time Machines should never be made. Messing with the time line can not only end your life but change the world as you know it. The acting is sub par (As is most films of the 80's) and the graphic are laughable, but you forgive it because the story is charming. One of my favourite scenes is when Marty is at Brown's old home in 1955 and they create a scale model of how their going to power up the Delorean, the reason why will be explained later. Also if the time travel doesn't convince you to watch it, then mother-son, same age incestuous kissing is prevalent. Time Travel.

Anyway, Doc manages to send Marty back to 1985 while at the same time, Marty manages to save Doc's life from the Libyans by means of warning him back in 1955 allowing him to prepare with a bulletproof vest.

Nice details in BTTF1:
# Twin Pines Mall. After killing a Pine Tree in 1955, Marty causes it to become the Lone Pine Mall.
# There is a bench bum at the end of the movie who's called "Red". This same "Red" guy was also a mayoral candidate in 1955 meaning after losing the bid, Red became homeless.
# After scaring George Mcfly into asking Lorraine out by using an Alien called Darth Vader from the planet Vulcan ( <:D ) He inadvertently gave him the courage to publish his sci-fi comics leading to a better life in 1985. Not sure if a nice detail or a huge plot waiting for a hole to be ripped.

To Be Continued...
Vincent Straum

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Back to the future will have to wait a little while (Because it's been 4 months) so for now I'll stick to movies I've seen recently. The first being...

Goosebumps

Readers beware, your in for a mediocre review about a mediocre film.

Released in January of 2016 (in the UK) Jack Black plays a character that is an asshat at the start and doesn't prove being an asshat is the best. What do I mean? Watch "School of Rock", "Gullivers Travels" and "Kung Fu Panda" 1 and 2. All of them are films where he starts as an asshat and shows other people he can be a hero and still an asshat. Not in Goosebumps.

Jack Black plays a version of famed children's writer RL Stine, author of the Goosebumps series, who stays mostly to himself with his daughter Hannah. After new neighbour Zach and his 'friend' Champ break into his house to rescue Hannah from crazy "Mr Shivers" as he's known, Zach opens up a locked Goosebumps book and unleashes the Abominable Snowman from the appropriate book which also accidentally breaks the lock for "Night of the Living Dummy" unleashing Slappy the dummy who then unlocks the remaining books.

Now I went to see this in 3D (Because the next 2D veiwing was in 2 and a half hours) and I will admit that there are a few scenes that are worth the 3D but not much. Other than a few spoiler points I will mention next, that's pretty much it. It's an ok film with an ok plot. Nothing special or groundbreaking. Just another film Jack Black can add to his resume.

Spoilers for Goosebumps
Edited by Vincent, 4 Feb 2016, 05:16 AM.
Vincent Straum

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The Peanuts Movie

Now as some of you may know, Peanuts was a 3-4 panel comic first started in the early 1950's. As the year's moved on, more and more characters were added. Peanuts grew in fame thanks to its generally nice atmosphere and the various antics of its main protagonist, Charlie Brown.

The movie focuses on Charlie trying to change from bumbling fool to likeable dude in order to impress the new student known only as "The Little Red-Haired Girl". She was found to be called Heather however this wasn't in the movie. But for the sake of time, I'll refer to her as such.

The movie itself is really clever. The entire movie felt like a bunch of 4 panel comics stuck together, with something funny or sad or happy happening fairly often. It was also nice seeing all the classic characters getting a voice, no matter how minor, and being able to hear many an opinion.

That being said, it's not to say the movie didn't have flaws. The movie did feel a little bit jarring in places and felt like in a couple places, something funny happened in order to stick to the 4 panel format.

Overall not a bad movie. If you are a young kid or a long time fan of the comics, go and watch it. If anything else, go in with the mindset that this is a kid's movie, don't judge too harshly.

Spoilers for The Peanuts Movie
Vincent Straum

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Deadpool

Before I say anything, go watch this movie now. Seriously. Watch it. It's fantastic and definately worth my entire £10 ticket. When did tickets get so expensive, geese. So yeah. This review will be spoilers only. I won't be holding much back.

Spoilers for Deadpool
Vincent Straum

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Edit Time

I have decided to make it open for anyone to post now. The First page will be only myself exclusively obviously. But now the topic will be open for anyone to write about it. There will be a few rules though. Any reviews that do not follow procedure will be removed:

1) If you wish to review a movie, please send me a PM first so I know you're posting and also make a quick post which you can later edit with the actual review. In the PM, tell me the movie you will review. This is so Rule 3 is complied to. In the quick post, just put the name of the movie so everyone knows you claimed the review.

2) They must follow the set style already seen. Title in Bold, center aligned and big. You must also have a Spoiler and Non-Spoiler section, cordoned off exactly how I have done. As long as it looks the same in basic structure the content can be your own.

3) If you do do a review, no commenting on previous reviews. Save comments for another topic. We also will only have one review for each movie. For example, I recently reviewed Deadpool. No one else may make a review. Do this in your own topic.

4) Make the review style your own. I decided to be quirky and humorous about my reviews, choosing to nitpick. You may want to be more serious or you may want to be nasty. The choice is yours. However I will not condone any language that doesn't follow site rules. Swearing is fine as long as it's tasteful and not insensitive. Also if the movie you review revolves around discrimination, please be at least professional about it.

That's it for now. I hope you have fun posting.
Edited by Vincent, 22 Feb 2016, 08:51 AM.
Vincent Straum

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Kung Fu Panda 3

The third in the panda fighting movie series and, while not the best, does have its merits. The story is about a spirit warrior called Kai hellbent in trying to destroy everything Master Oogway has created, including the dragon warrior known as Po.

Now what I found a bit annoying about this movie is that it references the first movie a bit way too much. Now this isn't uncommon, most third movies reference the first. But I've never seen a movie make elements from the first movie story elements of the third movie. But at the same time, I'm glad they did what they did. They didn't add in too much to alienate fans of the series yet managed to explain elements of the first movie. For that I say well done.

The animation is clean and pretty, especially the scenes in the spirit realm. The movie is top notch too. I have never liked an acoustic villains theme more than Kai's Theme. Speaking of music, while it was cheesy to make the end credits theme Kung Fu Fighting, I liked the version done in this movie.

The only downside is that the movie, as with most kids movies, is very predictable. When you are told certain elements throughout the movie, you know exactly what's going to happen (more details later).

Overall it's not a bad movie. Not as good as the first 2 movies but makes the trilogy very solid.

Spoilers for Kung Fu Panda 3
Edited by Vincent, 14 Mar 2016, 07:38 AM.
Vincent Straum

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Zootropolis

Zootropolis, also known as Zootopia, has been cited as Disney's next big movie and boy did it deliver. It was release in the USA first and I had heard that it managed to outsell Frozen, a movie so popular it's taken 3 years for kids to move on.

Now if there is one thing I like about movies, it's the smarts. I love when a movie is clever. This can be clever in that a mystery can be solved by the smart yet doesn't make you feel stupid for not knowing the answer. Or it can be clever in the way the world it's set in is made to suit the story. Zootropolis is clever for the latter and more so.

The world feels really, really clever. The high tech society that allows Giraffes to get a coffee sold by a Amarillo without having to bend down, and allows big and small animals to commute without the risk of injury. The writer's thought about the animal differences and came up with ideas that could suit a multi cultural society.

And these smarts don't even scratch the surface of the plot, which I will save for the spoiler review. The characters are loveable and the animal jokes are very clever, especially the Sloth DMV. One point of note is the nudist colony. Animals are supposed to be nude yet when put in this situation, you can't help but giggle like a little girl.

Overall, a fun movie and very smart. However the plot is another story but can't be talked about at all without spoilers so you have been warned.

Spoilers for Zootropolis
Edited by Vincent, 25 Mar 2016, 02:17 PM.
Vincent Straum

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The Jungle Book (2016)

I initially wanted to go to this movie with high hopes. I was hoping that they'd do the original justice, especially seeing as this was Walter Disney's last animated movie he ever worked on back in the 60's. Then I remembered they cast Bill Murray as Baloo and then decided to lower my hopes.

First off I'm gonna answer a question I know many of you have, and that is "Do they have the original songs in this movie?" to which the answer is both Yes and No. They only use two songs during the movie itself and both aren't sung the same as the original. The first of which is Bare Necessities. 2 problems I have with this rendition. First off is that Neel Sethi, who plays Mowgli, cannot sing for shit. Its like they didn't give him a chance to practice, just gave him the lyrics and sent him on his way in his red pants. The second issue is that even though they sing 2 verses of the song, they are both the same verse. The original had 3 different verses while this new one uses the first verse twice. Don't think I didn't notice guys!

The second song they sing is King of the Swingers, as sung by Christopher Walken. Now to make it related to the films plot, they had to change the lyrics a little bit, but overall it wasn't too bad. Christopher Walken does a nice job of portraying King Louie and the song is sung well. As for the rest of the songs, they are reserved for the credits sequence including the original King of the Swingers sung by Christopher Walken and Trust in Me as sung by Scarlett Johansson. That's all I heard because I decided to leave during the credits as soon as I heard Scarlett butcher Trust in Me.

Speaking of butchering, I actually though Bill Murray would be the failure, but that award goes Mrs Johansson for "Worst casting ever". Seriously. She is only on screen for a few minutes. All she does is give a bit of back story, something they could have done earlier (Spoiler Review) and yet somehow the whole movie was a bit off put after her scene. Thank god she's only on for a few minutes. I think I would have preferred Idris Elba doing a Scarlett Johansson impression as Kaa the snake.

If there is any saving grace its Idris Elba. He does a fantastic job of portraying Shere Khan, showing us all the brute hatred he has for humanity and even has some moments which I genuinely wasn't expecting.

Overall, its a pretty meh movie. If you're a fan of Disney, and the sight of 2D animation makes you want to puke and slit your wrists, then go watch this 2016 version, otherwise watch the original.

Spoilers for The Jungle Book (2016)
Edited by Vincent, 15 Apr 2016, 04:44 PM.
Vincent Straum

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