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Locked Topic
[A]Mince Taylor Flint; [Accepted] "Mint"
Topic Started: 13 Aug 2015, 06:21 PM (178 Views)
Posted Image Amoeba
Member Avatar


Trainer Profile

Character Name: Mince Taylor Flint
Nickname: Mint
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Trainer Class: Scientist

Physique


Image


Background


Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 0
Tier 0:

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Nincada
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Nino
Gender: Male
Type: Bug/Ground
Ability: Compound Eyes
Height: 1’ 8”
Weight: 12.1 Ibs
Health: Weak
EXP Rate: Erratic
EXP Gauge: (9/12)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Division: D8
Total Stats: 55
  • Attack: 8
  • Defense: 19 (35%)
  • Sp. Attack: 12
  • Sp. Defense: 8
  • Speed: 8

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Harden
1. Scratch
5. Leech Life

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here
Edited by Amoeba, 15 Aug 2015, 07:34 AM.
Mince Taylor Flint
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Hey Amoeba! ohmygod you must be the one I lost from lab! Welcome to Godai! I’m sure you wanna get started ASAP so let’s get started -

First off this is a great start to your profile - I love Mint already! However, there’s perhaps just a bit more of elaboration and a few corrections, but we’ll help guide you through it! If you’re ever stuck on something feel free to check out ”Accepted Characters” to see what we tend to look for or what others have done in the past!

For Mint’s ”Weight” and respectively his age and ”Height”, at 115 lbs, he is quite underweight by a rather large margin from “healthy” and according to the rest of his categories, nothing special is specified. Now I’m not saying you can’t have this, but if you choose for him to be underweight especially for that age, you can justify this within the General Appearances. But if not, an increase for a minimum of 10 lbs or more is best suggested. (Oh and also change “ibs” to “lbs”)

For his ”Hair [...]”, perhaps another sentence elaborating on its length? What defines “medium” short hair? Does it go down to the nape of his neck? Rest on his shoulders? Is there an open cut from his collarbone to the center point of his skull? So on and so forth.

For his ”Clothing [...]” is that all he wears? What about during hot or cold seasons? Does he have any other accessories? Not even a bag or backpack? Etc.

Expand more on his ”General Appearance”. Although absolutely lovely, maybe just a few more sentences on let’s say his posture and if he leaves any first impressions on others?

Then, let’s zoom onto his Personality and History!

I must say I find Mint pretty awesome and you’ve definitely hit the minimum, but what else can you tell me about him? Constantly ask yourself “why” and “how” as you review this one more time. What defines an outgoing and witty personality? What also defines a curious nature? It varies in every country and every culture, so what is Mint’s definition of being “outgoing”? Why does he currently display an “unbridled enthusiasm for scientific intrigue”? (I know it’s in the history but I also feel it can relate to this) And how does it make him feel? For example, my fascination with science comes with the fact that we are a part of nature with an entire carbon comprised organic coding complex codon system, where in one elevated kinetic push and one wrong mutation the consequences are severe for better or for worse - to which I find absolutely entrancing and makes me feel all giddy inside. And how does having ADHD make him feel? What obstacles did he have to overcome to get a grasp on it? Does he experience more wins than loses or vice versa? I have it and it wasn’t an easy journey! Still isn’t. What are his strengths and weaknesses that affect him on a psychological level? If he gets mad, how does he act? If he gets sad how does he cope? Any other unique traits or admirable ones? Things that stand out and expresses him on a more wholesome level? How does he view himself, Pokemonkind, the world or even Mankind as a whole? So on and so forth.

The exact same thing can be applied for Mint’s ”History”! Tell us more - in depth - about what made Mint acquire these positive and negative traits today. Remember that his ”History” is there to compliment his ”Personality”. Even though you did absolutely amazingly with his delving into the sciences, but this his a history about Mint and from when he was born to how he is now. How was he as a child and how was he as an early teen? What obstacles, situations, and other such experiences that are not related his experiments shaped him in order to solidify his current personality? How did he cope in that gap of being heart broken to being captivated into “the sciences”? What happened in between his timeline? Did his attention literally divert within a snap of a finger? Or did it take hours, days, or even years? What about his parents? How was his relationship with them and friends? How did he do in school specifically? Again, friends and teachers - any correlation with them? Anyone help? Did he ever fall in love during that timeline? See something that changed his worldly views? Go into a philosophical moment? So many questions! Don’t be afraid to get into much more detail to really flush him out and make him a more wholesome and realistic person! Again, his history was not bad at all but focus on Mint’s encompassing traits instead of one part of him.

We’ll stop here and continue onto his Pokedex at a later time.

I know it looks like I’m asking a lot but if anything I’m looking for a few more detailed paragraphs. I know you got this; it’s evident in your writing! Good luck and if you have any questions feel free to PM a staff member or come talk with us in the Cbox!

Remember, if you’re stuck or not sure, feel free to check out ”Accepted Characters”. ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Amoeba
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Appearance Changes:

  • I increased the weight and reduced the height in order to balance his weight.
  • Further elaboration was provided on his hair length.
  • I added warm and cold attires, as well as swim, sleep, and formal wear. I also described his baggage.
  • More details were added for his posture.

Background/Personality Changes:

  • Clarified aspects of the personality
  • Added additional details to personality
  • Filled in additional details for history
Mince Taylor Flint
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Whoot! Straight to the point and great edits! Completely fine with me!!
There's just one thing:

You forgot to number "Harden" in Nino's "Moveset". Edit that while waiting.

Other than that -

1/2 Approval on my end! ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Amoeba
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Fixed.
Mince Taylor Flint
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Posted Image Riffraff
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Nice! Welcome to Godai!

Your character application has now been accepted! Please make sure to create a signature of your character. Once that is done, you are now free to RP! If you made a personal mistake with your character, please submit a modification process involving a revamp.

This topic is now closed without further ado.
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
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