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[A]Isabella Celeste; [Accepted] The Cold Hearted
Topic Started: 5 Sep 2015, 08:28 AM (843 Views)
Posted Image Bella
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Trainer Profile

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Character Name: Isabella Celeste
Nickname: Bella
Gender: Female
Age: 15
Trainer Class: Empathetic Psychic

Height: 5 foot 1 inch

Weight: 102 pounds

Hair Color & Style: Bella has dark, raven feather colored hair that cascades down her back ending at her middle thigh. The tips of her wavy and thick hair are often sticking up in different directions.

Eyes: She has large sky blue eyes and long dark lashes. Her eyes are circular and often emphasized with eyeliner.

Clothing/Accessories: 
Spoiler: click to toggle

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Spoiler: click to toggle


General Appearance: She has a heart shaped face, and perfect petite lips and a button nose, her left eye has a scar coming an inch under her eye and 2 inches above. She is very slim, in fact she appears slightly underweight, except she considers it average. She looks very feminine and does her best to, as she does not wish to be mistaken for a boy, like when she was five. Now, Bella is viewed harmless and weak, her frail body gives off that sense, while being perceived that way, she's quit strong.

Hometown: Cascadia City, North Godai

Personality:Bella's heart is made of solid ice, or so it seems. She's made of cold, permanent, glares and negative tones, of pure blandness. The only thing she really seems to love are Pokèmon, aside from her Gran. Pokémon always seem to give her a little pep in her step. Her usual frown, inexistent and replaced by a sweet calm girl's smile. Bella often ignores the attempts to converse with her, often walking away, people never connected or understood her, she always seemed so, diverse due to her lack of parents and was often hassled and harassed. If repeated attempts occur, she tries to through off her pursuer often barking at them, or trying to seem intimidating. This coldness comes from her school years, often teased about being unwanted. Bella has a very thin line with the subjects of parents, it reaches the more emotional side of her and easily makes her tear up. A strong girl by nature Bella loves Pokèmon and often lowers her gaurd, which is an easy way to get her attention. Bella is strong with anything, except when talking about her parents, still stuck on the fact they left her, and it's very hard to cope with.

Bella was always sweet on the younger classmates, helping them with assignments, until she changed from schools, but she was always sweet to them out of class. She had always hated those who were upper class or snobs for short, and had a good eye for profiling them by the stature, and it was half and half don't judge a book by it's cover. She enjoyed the time she spent alone, but spent it contemplating taking to people.

She hate having to be alone, but couldn't seem to connect with anybody her age, or at all for that matter. She loved having her Gran with her and often spent time with her as she mocked Bella about cute boys. Bella always loved to be teased by her Grandmother and was known for her sense of humor. And Bella spent hours practicing jokes and comebacks, but he biggest passion was singing, and many of time had she wished she sang, so people would accept her. Bella had always kept on going, because she wanted to be the very best person she could be, and maybe she could be known and her parents cpud he's about her and find her. She's putting the pain aside, actually everything to find her place in the world. Isabella's always preferred to help from the shadows, such as fixing incorrect placements, fixing answers, or even writing someone a kind note. It gives her a flutter in her stomach to see peoples faces smiling, and gives her peice of mind. She feels stronger when faced with challenges, it reminds her of her Gran, who tested every limit to make Isabella better, and gives her a burst of flare, and she just loves to see people who try to be the best, no matter how rude she is, she was always so scared of peoples ridicule and taunts. Another strength is her ability to close off everything and focus on the situation.

History: On the release out of the hospital, Bella was given to Cecilia Celeste, her grandmother. Only left with a wedding ring and a caregiver Bella's life began. The parents of the child, Marcus and Arabella Celeste went off, so their daughter could grow up without the pressure of following the family business, to let their daughter follow her own destiny. As for the years up until seven Bella always wondered about her parents, and was always greeted with a subject change no matter what the question. During those years, she was always in trouble, coming home late, getting her clothes dirty, and getting scrapes and bruises were examples. Bella was the socialite back then, yet nobody really was a true friend.

When Bella turned eight, the beautiful smile she wore all the years before, even during the tease of age five when she cut her hair short, started to fade to a straight, firm, bland face. A girl decided she had nothing better to do than bother her, about the one thing that hurt. The little girl decided it was funny Bella had no parents, and gradually wore her down with teasing and taunting, and then a spark clicked in her head, and the girl, no longer speaking, had pure rage and hatred in her mind and Bella could feel it all. So, Bella began home school, and her smile never came back, except when she played with Pokèmon, because when she would see that little girl, Bella could feel the emotions in her head and they became associated with that memory, and each time, it wore her down as she watched the girl walk by almost everyday and her smile seemed pointless. The only real friend she had made was a boy two years younger than her, he had always comforted her when she was down. All through the years he picked her up when everyone else knocked her down. At age nine, Bella and him were almost inseparable, they had each other's back, and company. He always tried hard to make her smile, because he always said 'Life is better with smiles.' He was the Tedeursa doll Bella never had. Though, he had to move away, just a month before Bella's tenth birthday. Bella needed to focus on something else, and told Gran about her spark. Forced by herself to wait for a reaction, Gran explained that she expected Bella to be a medium, like her Father as her mother's Psychic ability, to keep her senses as one, skipped a generation. But, as a cause of two "powers" giving birth, Gran believed it lowered the psychic ability from a higher power down to Empathy. A way of feeling unspoken emotions.

At age ten, Bella began to help out her grandmother as well as gain some freedom, Bella was allowed to explore out, but not too far where Pokèmon are. Bella without supervision walked out too far, and was safe, until a wild Pokèmon started overkill on another, a little Ralts. And Bella got in the way as it attacked, Bella was sent back by a tackle, and a side of her face was bleedinqg hard, Bella picked up the fainted Ralts, and brought it home. Her grandmother lectured and took care of her at the same time.

After Bella's spark, she had expected it be by will, but as time grew, so did her awkwardness, Bella could walk out into her city and could feel everyone at once, and the first time Bella almost let out a scream, everyone's emotions got in her way, and Bella learned to focus on a singular one, or she would feel light-headed and her legs wouldn't carry her. And on some awkward occasions took a bad age for a boy. And it messed up her thought process, she soon felt sudden mood swings, and often had to leave very swiftly or she felt shifty.

Age 11 was spent more with bonding together, as a family, with her Grandmother, Bella loved her, but what Gran never understood was Bella was slowly changing, her thoughts were sad and things started to click in place over that year until around Autumn, and Bella had walked in with a stomp and blurted out to her Gran, a terrible thing and she knew right away what it meant, the worst thing that could have ever been said, had come out. "They never wanted me." And the two grew apart, by Bella's will. But, Cecilia had not given up and over the twelfth year grew together. Bella could feel her Gran's loathing due to her mother's genetic spark, and decided her Grandmother's suffering was not worth it.

As time went on Bella had visited that same Ralts everyday, and the Ralts waited everyday for her. She bonded, and on her 13th birthday, Bella was presented with an empty Pokèball, and she caught the Ralts, naming her Luna. And Bella could often feel when Luna was feeling her emotion, because Bella knows how she feels.

On the 14th year of her life, Bella and Luna took care of a sick Gran, who got healthy fast. And was working on supplies for the journey her Granddaughter would take, and as Bella and Luna practiced and worked and trained, the two became so close Bella felt she could almost understand Luna, her aura and emotions had taught her when Luna meant something. As Luna came into play, Bella had an easy thing to focus on Luna was perfect, no to complicated yet, not under emotional.


On her 15th birthday she was presented with the perfect supplies for an adventure. Luna had never gained any experience, so she was perfect for the beginning. And as Bella took a step out into the world with Luna, Bella gave a bright smile and a wave back at Cascadia, "Bye, home." She said and walked on. What her Gran may never know is Isabella knew that sh had done everything to keep her the best sh could be. And Bella would never forget no matter the cause, Bella is the loving person she is, on the inside, because Gran loved her so much and Gran loved her just as well.

Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points:
Tier 0:

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Luna
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Luna
Gender:
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Ability: Trace
Height: 1' 4"
Weight: 12.8 lb.
Health:  Weak
EXP Rate: Slow
EXP Gauge: (7/9)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Division: D10
Total Stats: 45
  • Attack: 9
  • Defense: 9
  • Sp. Attack: 11 (25%)
  • Sp. Defense: 8
  • Speed: 8

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Growl
4. Confusion
 Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here
Attached to this post:
Attachments: maka_zpsaea43a55.jpg (49.41 KB)
Edited by Bella, 27 Sep 2015, 03:32 PM.
Bella
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Nooope

Alrighty Bella~! Welcome to Godai! Before we can fully check this, there's just a bit too many things that need to be looked at again. For this, though you did a great job on looking through the common mistakes, I'd like you to review the following:

  • Your Pokedex is still a tad bit incorrect. You may find literally all the information on how to do that by simply going back to the "Character Application Template". Scroll down and there are Two examples provided, one of which is Luna. Other than that, there is a link that takes you to our "Guide to Godai" for further help on the Pokedex.
  • Your categories should be bolded, and you are missing the words "Trainer Profile" atop of this application.
  • Lastly, for everything else, I would highly highly recommend checking out "Accepted Characters" to definitely see what we look for in terms of Personality, History, and so on! This way you're able to go "Oooh" and add in accordingly to save both sides time!
Can't wait to see your fully finished character. If ya have any other questions feel free to PM a staff and we'll get back to you ASAP.

When any changes have been made, just post a reply and we'll move this back to Character Applications. ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
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Okay, I changed some stuff.
Bella
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Nooope

Alrighty Bella! Hey again! Great job on the review so I’ve moved this back to Character Applications. That said, there’s just a bit more we gotta go through with you to make sure we can keep up with the standards!

Like I said previously, I highly highly recommend checking ”Accepted Characters” to see what we look for and the patterns in which we tend to ask people to expand on. No one is an exception no matter how awesome they are! Buwhahaha.

I’ll list a few categories that need some heavy elaboration and as for the others above it I’m sure you can get the gist from looking at those ”Accepted Characters”. What I want you focus on is the ”Personality” and ”History”.

Although you’ve hit the minimum - which is great! - there’s still not much I know about her. What are her strengths and weaknesses? How do they affect her on a cognitive process? What is the psychological significance of her being brash and strategic? How else does this affect her? What are her beliefs or morals? Something she won’t budge no matter what? What does she like or dislike and how do those go hand in hand with her traits? How does she view mankind, pokemonkind, or anything in general? Constantly ask “why” and “how” when reviewing the ”Personality” again. What are these “other things”? How is she strategic? What does that mean? How does she handle it and how does she execute it? There are very many variations of being strategic to battles, street smarts, and so on! Why does she prefer Pokemon over ‘other things’? How does she feel? Basically in short what else can I know about her?

The exact same thing applies to her ”History”. Remember that her history is there to compliment her ”Personality”. Though very good and it explains a few bits, it seems to focus solely on a specific trait and not her as a general. What about schooling? What about her childhood years in specifics? How was her interactions with other people? How did her parents disappear? What happened? There are laws in Godai and child negligence is heavily punishable! How did she feel about it all? Is she in denial? There’s a huge psychological shock or cope that comes with biological parents not being there and the child not being able to connect with them no matter what stage of a person’s life span development. How about friends? What about studies? What views did she develop and change or warp over time? What other events, experiences, and situations shaped her to become stronger or weaker? Did she ever cope did she ever go through a phase? So on and so forth. Because Isa’s ”Personality” is severely lacking, there’s not much I can say. Regardless it’s still a very great try - don’t get me wrong - but with your skillset I’m sure you’ll get this in the bag.

Remember, this is just some things I picked out. For better information or inspiration, please check out ”Accepted Characters” to see the entire layout of thingys!

And one thing that I zoomed onto is the correlation between ”General Appearance” and her ”Height/Weight” duo. For her to look slightly underweight, a female that is 15 and has that height, it is actually a little towards the “chubbier” side. If you want her to “look slightly underweight” I would recommend taking out 7 - 10 pounds or elaborate upon what she does in order to tone her figure.

I look forward to your edits and changes! If you have any further questions, don’t hesitate to ask; you know how to reach us. Good luck! ♥

PS - Please use the coding provided for the words "Trainer Profile" atop the page.
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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I changed her personality, and after time I decided on a plan which requires a Gardevoir, so why not start with one. I'll fix that and then, change the history.
Bella
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Nooope

Cool Bella! Don't forget to reply again once you are fully done with your characters! Looking forward to it. ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
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Well I have finally finished.
Bella
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Nooope

Alrighty Bella! I’m on a time crunch so I’ll keep this as short as possible. This is a pretty great start to your profile and hopefully we’ll be able to guide you through to a full two acceptance! Let’s begin -

First off, please use the coding provided for “Trainer Profile”.

For her ”Clothing [...]” is that all she wears? Does she wear any other kind of clothing? Styles? She’s a Psychic and a trainer I’m assuming - wouldn’t she have some sort of backpack to keep her stuff? Anything else that a realistic person would bring on their adventure? Etc.

Let’s zoom in heavily onto her ”Personality” and ”History” -

Starting with her ”Personality”, this is pretty good! You’ve definitely hit the minimum, however what else can you tell me about her? What are her flaws? Strengths? How does any of those affect her psychologically? Think of the “why”s and the “how”s when reviewing this again. Why is she made of “cold, permanent, glares, negative tones, of pure blandness?” For what reason? How does this work in her case? For example, my glares are rather passive and when I speak negatively, I tend to be sarcastic whereas my friends are condenscending or strike at a person’s weaknesses through observation of time. What about Isabella? Why does she do that? Is it because she’s so jaded about the world around her? Is it a defense mechanism? Whu does she often “ignore attempts to converse”? What is she afraid of? What is she not afraid of? What is she trying to portray? Why and how? I know you said it comes from her school years, but how does it make her feel? What is the psychological process behind this that is a major trait about her personality? What are her morals? Beliefs? How does she form relationship with others? What are her likes and dislikes?! I have no clue! Tell me more about her in order to make her a more realistic and wholesome person!

The exact same thing can be said for her ”History”. Remember that her History is there to compliment her Personality. This means, a timeline from her birth, how she was treated, what relationships were formed, what theories and thought processes manifested in her mind - all this up into now. How did she get obtain all those traits up there? Because the Personality is lacking, the History will follow the same fate - but that’s okay! To be more specific - what happened to her parents? How did she feel with being with her grandmother? What did she do during those 7 years prior to turning 8? What other experiences, obstacles, events shaped her to go through a series of ups and downs? Think of her as a realistic person - a phlethora of events shaped us to be who we are, not just one. It’s our way of thinking and thus Isabella’s way of thinking that turned her into who she is!

For any other inspirations please check out ”Accepted Characters”!

We’ll stop here for now and focus on your ”Pokedex” another time. Like I said, if you’re stuck I heavily suggest you check out ”Accepted Characters”. Good luck and I know you got this. Take your time and we'll be here if you have any questions whatsoever. ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
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Okay, I have fixed her Personality and History Bones.
Edited by Bella, 22 Sep 2015, 03:22 PM.
Bella
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Nooope

Unfortunately I'm going to still have you elaborate heavily on Isabella's "Personality" and "History". To be more specific, I want to see much more paragraphs in elaboration to what make Isabella a Realistic and Wholesome individual!

Again, to reiterate, if you are lost on what I'm saying or are in need of assistance please check out "Accepted Characters"! When you have finished viewing those, please read everything I have said.

A hint, is to start off answering some of the questions I have produced as an example. Such as her weaknesses? Beliefs? Motivations? Likes? Dislikes? Something more than the general term of Pokemon and more on Isabell. Think about your family members, friends, and yourself. What makes you more you and why as well as how.

Please post again when you have edited accordingly! ♥ Don't stress, you got this.
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Sonak Paetdee
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I really don't get any inspiration from the accepted characters... But okay, I'll go see if I can
Bella
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Nooope

Haha it's fine not to! Basically I want you to see the amount that they have written and how specific they are compared to yours. However, keep in mind that quality is better than quantity.

This is where I ask you to reread (or even answer) some of the questions I've given you in my last two responses. Please take the time to read them! *7*

Not saying yours isn't good - because it is a great start! - but it just doesn't fit the standards that we all made them go through! Just do this little by little and you'll be golden. ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Okay, so I gave her a longer more detailed personality, such as the Motives, weaknesses, likes and dislikes.
Bella
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Nooope

Great job Bella! Now we can start on the meat of it all!

First of all there are some things you [still] have missed or aren't important for me to put into paragraph form so I'll go ahead and list it here:

  • Please use the proper coding for "Trainer Profile".
  • "Eyes" - What kind of blue eyes? Different shades allow for different light frequencies to enter the eyes.
  • "Hair [...]" - What colour is "dark hair"? Is there a particular style she had it in during different time of the day or during specific tasks? So on and so forht.
  • "Clothing [...]" - Is that all she wears? Only one set of clothing during different seasons? If so, state it. But beware of bacteria build up and hygienic concerns. If not then what about styles? All light colours? All black colours? All pop culture reference t-shirts? Or, not even a bag for her travels? Etc.
  • "General Appearance" - Anything else you can tell us about her? First impressions from others maybe? How she holds herself? How she walks? How she talks? Etc.
Now let's zoom back into her "Personality" and "History"! But first let me say YES! These edits are GREAT! I knew you could do it!! You're so bloody close! But remember, standards! Let's begin -

For her "Personality", elaborate even more on the Why and the How. How does she show this "pure blandness"? Through her verbal or physical attributes? Which one is it? Is it any of those at all? Why does she love Pokemon and her Gran? How does she feel? For example I love my dog because it's the only time I can show my affections when I'm unable to do so with humans. It's because my mind is most comfortable differentiating between who can and who can't hurt me and I choose the cowardly tactic and go for my dog. What about Isabella? Whydoes she ignore attempts to converse with her? Just because she doesn't have parents doesn't justify an action - it is then solely reliant on how she is and why she chooses to take that route. Is she scared? Is she afraid of them seeing whatever she's hiding? Is she afraid of them taking /something/? This applies to everything below it as well!

But while we're on that, it would appear she knows almost how to read everything about a person. That is not a good thing. It's as if she has a God's eye for finding things that may or may not exist. Now, this can be cleared by wording. Are these all assumptions? Or interpretations?

Remember that when I ask for Weaknesses or Strengths, they aren't just willy nilly! How do these affect her on a Psychological Level? How does being sweet to younger classmates help her in her personality? Or better yet, how does it hinder her personality? Does that mean she wears her heart on her sleeves? But then that's contradictory if people try to converse with her - wouldn't younger classmates try to do that? Instead of the past (which should be for her History), talk about the present her!

But is that all she has? No other strengths what so ever? For example, one of my strengths is pushing myself out there to the world. I donate blood when I can and about a year ago I donated some bone marrow and will do so again when I can. This affects me morally because I believe everyone has a right to live - loosely - and I embrace human life. While this does not necessarily make me a good person, the psychological effect is that I am mentally and physically happier/healthier than those of my friends who don't do the things I do.

With these examples, what more can you elaborate, specify, take out, or add to Isabella?!

We'll do this one step at a time, but seriously you are so close! I'm not asking for a novella, but quality OVER quantity! When you have perfected this, then we can move onto her "History". And heck, even then your History doesn't need that much left to it!

Again, you got this, just a few more tries! We will all be here to support you all the way. ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
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That was so helpful!!!! I'll get right on it! *hug*
Bella
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