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[A]Isabella Celeste; [Accepted] The Cold Hearted
Topic Started: 5 Sep 2015, 08:28 AM (844 Views)
Posted Image Bella
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Trainer Profile

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Character Name: Isabella Celeste
Nickname: Bella
Gender: Female
Age: 15
Trainer Class: Empathetic Psychic

Height: 5 foot 1 inch

Weight: 102 pounds

Hair Color & Style: Bella has dark, raven feather colored hair that cascades down her back ending at her middle thigh. The tips of her wavy and thick hair are often sticking up in different directions.

Eyes: She has large sky blue eyes and long dark lashes. Her eyes are circular and often emphasized with eyeliner.

Clothing/Accessories: 
Spoiler: click to toggle

Spoiler: click to toggle
Spoiler: click to toggle
Spoiler: click to toggle


General Appearance: She has a heart shaped face, and perfect petite lips and a button nose, her left eye has a scar coming an inch under her eye and 2 inches above. She is very slim, in fact she appears slightly underweight, except she considers it average. She looks very feminine and does her best to, as she does not wish to be mistaken for a boy, like when she was five. Now, Bella is viewed harmless and weak, her frail body gives off that sense, while being perceived that way, she's quit strong.

Hometown: Cascadia City, North Godai

Personality:Bella's heart is made of solid ice, or so it seems. She's made of cold, permanent, glares and negative tones, of pure blandness. The only thing she really seems to love are Pokèmon, aside from her Gran. Pokémon always seem to give her a little pep in her step. Her usual frown, inexistent and replaced by a sweet calm girl's smile. Bella often ignores the attempts to converse with her, often walking away, people never connected or understood her, she always seemed so, diverse due to her lack of parents and was often hassled and harassed. If repeated attempts occur, she tries to through off her pursuer often barking at them, or trying to seem intimidating. This coldness comes from her school years, often teased about being unwanted. Bella has a very thin line with the subjects of parents, it reaches the more emotional side of her and easily makes her tear up. A strong girl by nature Bella loves Pokèmon and often lowers her gaurd, which is an easy way to get her attention. Bella is strong with anything, except when talking about her parents, still stuck on the fact they left her, and it's very hard to cope with.

Bella was always sweet on the younger classmates, helping them with assignments, until she changed from schools, but she was always sweet to them out of class. She had always hated those who were upper class or snobs for short, and had a good eye for profiling them by the stature, and it was half and half don't judge a book by it's cover. She enjoyed the time she spent alone, but spent it contemplating taking to people.

She hate having to be alone, but couldn't seem to connect with anybody her age, or at all for that matter. She loved having her Gran with her and often spent time with her as she mocked Bella about cute boys. Bella always loved to be teased by her Grandmother and was known for her sense of humor. And Bella spent hours practicing jokes and comebacks, but he biggest passion was singing, and many of time had she wished she sang, so people would accept her. Bella had always kept on going, because she wanted to be the very best person she could be, and maybe she could be known and her parents cpud he's about her and find her. She's putting the pain aside, actually everything to find her place in the world. Isabella's always preferred to help from the shadows, such as fixing incorrect placements, fixing answers, or even writing someone a kind note. It gives her a flutter in her stomach to see peoples faces smiling, and gives her peice of mind. She feels stronger when faced with challenges, it reminds her of her Gran, who tested every limit to make Isabella better, and gives her a burst of flare, and she just loves to see people who try to be the best, no matter how rude she is, she was always so scared of peoples ridicule and taunts. Another strength is her ability to close off everything and focus on the situation.

History: On the release out of the hospital, Bella was given to Cecilia Celeste, her grandmother. Only left with a wedding ring and a caregiver Bella's life began. The parents of the child, Marcus and Arabella Celeste went off, so their daughter could grow up without the pressure of following the family business, to let their daughter follow her own destiny. As for the years up until seven Bella always wondered about her parents, and was always greeted with a subject change no matter what the question. During those years, she was always in trouble, coming home late, getting her clothes dirty, and getting scrapes and bruises were examples. Bella was the socialite back then, yet nobody really was a true friend.

When Bella turned eight, the beautiful smile she wore all the years before, even during the tease of age five when she cut her hair short, started to fade to a straight, firm, bland face. A girl decided she had nothing better to do than bother her, about the one thing that hurt. The little girl decided it was funny Bella had no parents, and gradually wore her down with teasing and taunting, and then a spark clicked in her head, and the girl, no longer speaking, had pure rage and hatred in her mind and Bella could feel it all. So, Bella began home school, and her smile never came back, except when she played with Pokèmon, because when she would see that little girl, Bella could feel the emotions in her head and they became associated with that memory, and each time, it wore her down as she watched the girl walk by almost everyday and her smile seemed pointless. The only real friend she had made was a boy two years younger than her, he had always comforted her when she was down. All through the years he picked her up when everyone else knocked her down. At age nine, Bella and him were almost inseparable, they had each other's back, and company. He always tried hard to make her smile, because he always said 'Life is better with smiles.' He was the Tedeursa doll Bella never had. Though, he had to move away, just a month before Bella's tenth birthday. Bella needed to focus on something else, and told Gran about her spark. Forced by herself to wait for a reaction, Gran explained that she expected Bella to be a medium, like her Father as her mother's Psychic ability, to keep her senses as one, skipped a generation. But, as a cause of two "powers" giving birth, Gran believed it lowered the psychic ability from a higher power down to Empathy. A way of feeling unspoken emotions.

At age ten, Bella began to help out her grandmother as well as gain some freedom, Bella was allowed to explore out, but not too far where Pokèmon are. Bella without supervision walked out too far, and was safe, until a wild Pokèmon started overkill on another, a little Ralts. And Bella got in the way as it attacked, Bella was sent back by a tackle, and a side of her face was bleedinqg hard, Bella picked up the fainted Ralts, and brought it home. Her grandmother lectured and took care of her at the same time.

After Bella's spark, she had expected it be by will, but as time grew, so did her awkwardness, Bella could walk out into her city and could feel everyone at once, and the first time Bella almost let out a scream, everyone's emotions got in her way, and Bella learned to focus on a singular one, or she would feel light-headed and her legs wouldn't carry her. And on some awkward occasions took a bad age for a boy. And it messed up her thought process, she soon felt sudden mood swings, and often had to leave very swiftly or she felt shifty.

Age 11 was spent more with bonding together, as a family, with her Grandmother, Bella loved her, but what Gran never understood was Bella was slowly changing, her thoughts were sad and things started to click in place over that year until around Autumn, and Bella had walked in with a stomp and blurted out to her Gran, a terrible thing and she knew right away what it meant, the worst thing that could have ever been said, had come out. "They never wanted me." And the two grew apart, by Bella's will. But, Cecilia had not given up and over the twelfth year grew together. Bella could feel her Gran's loathing due to her mother's genetic spark, and decided her Grandmother's suffering was not worth it.

As time went on Bella had visited that same Ralts everyday, and the Ralts waited everyday for her. She bonded, and on her 13th birthday, Bella was presented with an empty Pokèball, and she caught the Ralts, naming her Luna. And Bella could often feel when Luna was feeling her emotion, because Bella knows how she feels.

On the 14th year of her life, Bella and Luna took care of a sick Gran, who got healthy fast. And was working on supplies for the journey her Granddaughter would take, and as Bella and Luna practiced and worked and trained, the two became so close Bella felt she could almost understand Luna, her aura and emotions had taught her when Luna meant something. As Luna came into play, Bella had an easy thing to focus on Luna was perfect, no to complicated yet, not under emotional.


On her 15th birthday she was presented with the perfect supplies for an adventure. Luna had never gained any experience, so she was perfect for the beginning. And as Bella took a step out into the world with Luna, Bella gave a bright smile and a wave back at Cascadia, "Bye, home." She said and walked on. What her Gran may never know is Isabella knew that sh had done everything to keep her the best sh could be. And Bella would never forget no matter the cause, Bella is the loving person she is, on the inside, because Gran loved her so much and Gran loved her just as well.

Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points:
Tier 0:

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Luna
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Luna
Gender:
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Ability: Trace
Height: 1' 4"
Weight: 12.8 lb.
Health:  Weak
EXP Rate: Slow
EXP Gauge: (7/9)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Division: D10
Total Stats: 45
  • Attack: 9
  • Defense: 9
  • Sp. Attack: 11 (25%)
  • Sp. Defense: 8
  • Speed: 8

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Growl
4. Confusion
 Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here
Attached to this post:
Attachments: maka_zpsaea43a55.jpg (49.41 KB)
Edited by Bella, 27 Sep 2015, 03:32 PM.
Bella
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Posted Image Bella
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I believe I have covered everything you have said, now I'm ready to move on to History.
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Ya-ha~! Great job and yes let's move onto the "History"!!! By now I'm sure you know exactly what I'm looking for. So now I just want to see a few more short paragraphs on simply elaboration -

Now, because she's a Psychic (as stated in her Trainer Class) how does this play a significant role in her "History"? That's what I want you to consider first. It is a special class and information on that can be found in our IC Trivia. If you meant Psychic type trainer then ignore this, but reword your "Trainer Class".

To make things go faster, I'd like you to elaborate the following (however you aren't only limited to these):

  • What happened in those 7 years? You don't literally need to list out each consecutive year, but summarize it. What did she see? Experience? Get in trouble? Etc as a child? We are all born with a blank palate and thus we build upon it during each sad, frustrating, happy, etc experience.
  • What exactly did the girl do to "gradually [wear Bella] down"? How did Bella cope and why did she begin home school? Why did her smile never come back? What did she do in between? What was her mental process during that? Why couldn't she become happy again? How did she learn what you said in her "Personality": "Bella had always kept on going, because she wanted to be the very best person she could be [...]"?
  • Elaborate on this boy that she met at age 9. How did she feel during that time period? What does "bonded" mean anyways? Me bonding with my homework at times isn't equivalent to me bonding with my friends. Meaning, how did she bond with her Grandmother? Example? When I bond with my friends, I enjoy having silent study sessions in a nice secluded room; whereas my friends enjoy bonding with their friends in loud rambunctious areas. What's Isabella's idea of bonding?
That's it for the History!

After that which I'm sure you'll get by the next edit - we can finalize the "Pokedex" and /that/ part is super super fast.

PS - I still need you to follow the coding for Trainer Profile. You can find this coding by copying and pasting the coding provided in "Character Application Template".

You know the drill when anything has been changed! I'm excited to see what you'll add or specify on her History. ♥

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Sonak Paetdee
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Posted Image Bella
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Okay, so I think I got it.
Bella
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Yay on the Trainer Profile text!

However, I don't see any other changes particularly from "Trainer Class" and "History". Did you forget to add in your text? :o

Read my previous post and edit in those please! Then we can move onto the "Pokedex". ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Okay Bonesy, I think I've got it down and am ready for the Pokèdex, I forgot to save after working on it, and that's why I thought I was ready.
Bella
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Swell job Bella! I am pretty satisfied with the edits. As promised let's move onto the last stretch -

However, I still have to question the "Trainer Class". Is she a Psychic or is she a Psychic Type Trainer? If you would like her to be Psychic then I need to see how this impacted her throughout her "History". Meaning I need another tid bit of elaboration of how it has affected her throughout her life.

But if it is the latter (if she is a Psychic Type trainer) then I don't need you to say so, but I still need you to /specify/. Specify by writing that in your "Trainer Class". Please take care of that first. (i.e: Trainer Class: Psychic type trainer (but also uses dark type))

Then we can move onto the "Pokedex". Don't rush and please take the time to read what I've said! :D ♥

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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Okay, I have added all her Empathy info throughout her History.
Bella
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Ah - Okay I'm commenting here real quick since I have to go but I will return of course haha!

Though wonderful sparks, Empaths don't really only relate to themselves and their own emotions but to the emotions of others. Although I know this is strictly about Bella, but because she is a special class, how does she cope or feel when she suddenly gets emotions that aren't her own and they're from other people instead? Like anyone, something like that will definitely affect her and if it were boy oh boy would it be a shocking revelation even if I don't know that I'm an "empath". I'd still be questioning why I'm so different like mad!

Review the "IC Trivia" once more or specify your wording a bit on her!

Then once you're done with that, I want you to review other people's "Accepted Characters" and look specifically at their "Pokedex". You will then notice a large contrasting difference within "Total Stats". Check Ralt's "Ability" as well! They don't have Frisk.
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Sonak Paetdee
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Okay, Bonesy. I meant to put it as Trace Xd. And I have added the explanation of her Empathetic abilities under the Age of 10. I'll get to the input of coping in the next age.
Bella
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I don't get the whole stat dealio, I barely pass Math..... ;-;
Bella
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Posted Image Wremn
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Blerrraaaugh -fire-

Hey Rose Bella! Respond here when you've added that elaboration on her Empath abilities.

I also want to point out that you put "Trash" for Ralts' ability. Despite how humorous that is, I'm sure it was a little typo. As for the stats your Pokemon Profile, recheck Ralt's Pokedex Entry. Notice there is a need for only one Percentage mark needed. Then look again at a completed statistics section of another profile to get the proper formatting. Also review the Statistics section to obtain the proper Total Stat points for Ralts.

^^ You're doing great. Keep at it! Don't be afraid to ask for clarification, as you know we're more than glad to help.
Edited by Wremn, 25 Sep 2015, 08:23 PM.
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Characters
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I thought I fixed 'trash' and I am Belle of the Ball not The Rose of many Thorns
Bella
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Posted Image Bella
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I have fixed my stats!!! 0w0
Bella
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Soooo close there Bella! Although I like the paragraph before it, I don't think I quite understand what is happening here:
Quote:
 
[...]told Gran about her spark, and explained that she expected Bella to be a medium, like her Father as her mother's Psychic ability, to keep her senses as one, skipped a generation. But, as a cause of to "powers" giving birth, Gran believed it lowered the psychic ability to Empathy. A way of feeling unspoken emotions.
Please reword this!

I also want to mention that there are a plethora of errors from sentences to grammar and to spelling throughout your application. Please go through it one more time as well. It gets increasingly hard to understand what you're trying to convey.

And now we're at the "Pokedex"!

Okay so first, great job on tackling the main edits by the way! However there's just a bit more to go. Please please please take the time to read all the resources given to you! If you check the "Character Application Template", there is a link that literally takes you to the page of how to fill this out!

But to save time and to reward you for your efforts I will try my best to guide you below:

  • Please look at "Gen III Pokedex" located above at {{Quick Links}}. There you will find everything you need to know for Ralt's Pokedex in Godai.
  • Look at her "Type". You are missing another type.
  • Please properly label her "Weight". This means put an "lb" at the end.
  • Her "Health" is incorrect.
  • Her "Total Stats" number is incorrect. You can not randomly assign digits to her Total Stats. If you look at "Guide to Godai" and scroll down towards the bottom of Post #4 you will see that D10 has a fix amount per level. Because your Pokemon is at level 5 your math will be the following: (D10 # per level) x 5 = #?. For example Totodile is at D8. D8 has 11 stats per level. Totodile is level 5. My math will look like this: 11 x 5 = 55. My "Total Stats" is now 55.
  • Please fix the distribution below as well.
  • Please take out the # sign as it is redundant seeing how you have already filled in those numbers.
  • Ralts does not learn Confusion at level 3. Please check the Pokedex again.
  • Please bold STAB moves as stated by the "Character Application Template". If you do not know what STAB is, it is a damaging attack move that relates to the Pokemon's type(s). For example, Totodile is a water type. He learns Water Gun. Water Gun will look like this: Water Gun.

I Implore you to please please please read everything carefully! This will save you much more edits in the future!

Please take your time and think to yourself, "Is this correct? What does everyone else look like?" To see what everyone else does, please again please please please check out "Accepted Character".

I look forward to seeing better edits after this! You are almost done. ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Bella
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Worked on the things you told me to working on the grammar and spelling, thanks to a grammar check, I am getting it done lot quicker
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