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Kyzaba Mushitomo
Topic Started: 9 Sep 2015, 12:24 PM (222 Views)
Posted Image Kyzaba
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Character Name: Kyzaba Mushitomo
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Trainer Class: Pokemon Trainer

Height: 5’10”

Weight:150 LB

Hair Color & Style: Kyzaba’s hair is extremely unorganized and one can easily tell that he doesn’t like to brush or at least straighten his hair. His hair has managed to stick up quite partially from the pillow that destroys his organization of hair. Over a long time, he’s managed to keep his hair that way having given up trying to organize it. Kyzaba’s hair is black but there is a tint of blue from when he tried to dye his hair from a while back in which he failed miserably

Eyes: Kyzaba’s eyes are one of a determined pokemon trainer. He wants to become the best of the best and he will do anything including overworking his pokemon to do so. His eyes aren’t the most friendliest but not mean as well as they are quite gentle but his black eyeballs do indeed give him a bad image as his black eyebrows are also quite low to his eyes.

Clothing/Accessories: Kyzaba’s usually wears a blue or black T-Shirt in which he switches between days or whether he feels like it or not. During the winter, he wears a black sweatshirt that he disliked but does enough to keep him warm most of the time during the day. He has an expensive watch by his waist that he checks a lot since he is extremely bothered about the waste of time. Kyzaba has a love for blue tennis shoes as they were simple yet not sloppy for people to see, also, Kyzaba likes to run quite a lot, making it even more useful for him to have these running type shoes. However, despite the fact he wears a sweatshirt during the winter, if there is a blizzard or a snowstorm, he has sense to put on a thick brown coat he got from his father at the age of 15.

General Appearance: Kyzaba wears glasses at times having had his eyes worsen as a result of too much book reading. His glasses are black and very thin, which may portray him as a nerd, hence he rarely ever wears the pair of glasses unless he has to read something closely. Kyzaba's skin is the color of Asian tan which is a mix between brown and white, a medium between the two colors. His ears are rather close to his face, meaning they are quite small compared to other people's and his hair, the color of black and blue tends to confuse people. Kyzaba's chin is very pointy and his face is quite skinny along with the rest of his body. His face is considered handsome by other people but he could careless about how he looked. Kyzaba has a unique feature right in the middle of his forehead where he fell off a bike at the age of 3 to cause a scar in that position. He is quite bothered by the permanent scar but the scar is actually quite hidden unless you study it carefully.

Posted Image

Hometown: Cadence, North Godai

Personality: Kyzaba is a calm, intelligent teenager. He knows what to do in certain situations and what to do in other situations… This is called common sense, which was something he recognized that not anybody possessed. Kyzaba is a quick learner and he thinks about his situation before approaching a conflict. This portrays him as a calm and smart person as he is nearly never seen panicking. He appears to be quite a cold person as all he wants to do is train, train, and train until he’s the best of the best… but that is only what he wants to show on the surface. He has a personal connection with his Pokemon in which he wants to work hard and his Pokemon also trains and works as hard as they can. He is quite caring, which is another trait he likes to hide from the public. Kyzaba likes to play with his Pokemon when nobody’s around so he can develop a better connection with him or her. As a Pokemon trainer, Kyzaba is extremely talented from memorizing Pokemon books and information. However, he does not have the connection required of him to be a great trainer. He likes to remain quiet during conversations and of course, he has a love for Pokemon! However, he hates when the temperature is way too hot or cold, mean people, and when he is wasting time or not doing something to level his Pokemon up. Honestly, not much things scare him as he is quite a brave boy... however, he does have a scare for certain ghost type pokemons like Gengar since it is quite unpredictable and comical at the same time. Kyzaba's disliked ghost type Pokemon ever since he was a little child mainly due to the fact he hated not being in control of whatever situation he was in. Another thing that bothers Kyzaba is his fear of failure. He is clear that everyone fails at something but that doesn't mean he has to like it when he does fail and thus, he becomes hardworking and determined off this trait. When Kyzaba fails at catching a Pokemon or getting a one-hundred percent on a test, he will think about what he did wrong and what he could've done better.

History: Kyzaba was born on March the first to a family of one brother, father, and mother. It was quite an average family to be honest… However, at the age of 10, Kyzaba had seen his 16 year old brother leave home for his very own Pokemon adventure even though he didn’t seem to be too happy about it. This perked an interest in Kyzaba’s heart as he wanted to follow in his brother’s footsteps… Immediately after his father realized that Kyzaba possessed eagerness which his brother did not possess, he started teaching Kyzaba the ways of a Pokemon trainer, how to care for Pokemon, and all sorts of Pokemon tips which will help Kyzaba become a great and caring Pokemon trainer. A few years has passed and one early morning, Kyzaba opened his window to see that his brother was walking through the gates of the house. Having been only 14 and innocence was still among him… he charged downstairs before opening the door that soon showed him a very tired and desperate brother. His father did not take kindly to the brother’s retreat and was quite disappointed with him just giving up his path of becoming a Pokemon master… Now, he just stays at home and does what ever he thinks best. Kyzaba worked even harder ever since that day and read pretty much every single Pokemon informational book and encyclopedia out there including his ability to memorize almost all of the Pokemon’s names. During this time, he was unable to communicate with other children as he thought that talking to those people are just useless and an extreme waste of time. Now, Kyzaba has reached the age of 16 and he has been called upon the lab to choose his first starter Pokemon. Before he left, his father and mother all cheered for him, telling him how proud he was with big smiles and of course, his mother kept on telling him to call back every now and then.

However... All this have been his home life... and of course, like all the other children, he would have to go to school as well. At the age of 16, he was still in high school and so he was unable to venture around the cities as he still had school work to do. Kyzaba would be able to move around, however, when there's a large period of time when school's cancelled such as summer or winter break. At school, he'd met tons of friends but most didn't have Pokemon and won't devote their lives to Pokemon training like Kyzaba. However, there were indeed three trainers he knew... all of which was just starting out like him. One was named Lily, a blonde girl that was about 3 inches shorter than him. One was named Timmy, a nerd with glasses that liked electrical and steel type Pokemon. The last one, a person that was planning to become a Pokemon Master just like Kyzaba himself, was named Harry, and there is indeed a friendly rival ship between the two. Kyzaba had met these people in a Pokemon Trainer class that was exclusive to all students who wanted to become a Pokemon Trainer when they grow up. The class consists of about 20 people and a few has dropped out during the past few years. However, Kyzaba, Lily, Timmy, and Harry stuck together those the years and finally as they reached 16, they can get a Pokemon from the Pokemon lab that was quite close to the school. Kyzaba was a pretty intelligent student... all his test scores were indeed nearly perfect and he was ranked second in the entire school... Hopefully his grades don't drop once he gets the Pokemon he needs.

Even though he'd met all of his friends in the same class, he'd met them in quite a unique and different manner. Let's start with Lily. Lily and Kyzaba had been childhood friends and it was only natural that if one decides to take a class, the other would choose to do so as well. Of course, Kyzaba had been static when he was offered a chance to take the class and Lily, who wasn't as static but still quite happy was willing to take the class alongside Kyzaba. Now, let's dig even deeper into the history. When Kyzaba had been around the age of eight, he decided that he would go exploring the neighborhood to see if he could find some friends which of course, he was able to find a girl his age about five houses away from his. Even though Kyzaba wasn't the most excited to make friends with a girl, Lily had been quite friendly and invited Kyzaba into her house for a "play date". Kyzaba reluctantly took the offer before realizing that Lily was quite a cool person and would've been even cooler if she enjoyed Pokemon as much as he did. Nevertheless, Kyzaba became quite good friends with Lily and thus, they remained friends all the way to high school.

Timmy had always been a nerd for as long as he could remember. They'd met at the age of 10 when Kyzaba walked into the grasslands to breathe some fresh air having been studying for about five hours in a row. However, he was quite surprised when he saw a boy with short hair and thick glasses crawling over the ground with his face up facing a Pokemon. Kyzaba noticed that the boy was scared judging from the facial expression from Timmy and immediately ran over to help him out. However, what awaited him was a rattata facing Timmy and this caused Kyzaba to laugh in amusement. After that moment, Timmy and Kyzaba have been hanging out and slowly, Timmy has been developing a sense of love for the creatures of the Pokemon world.

The newest of his three friends is indeed Harry... and Harry is quite an energetic rival of his. They'd met at the age of 14 during the second year of Pokemon Trainer school... Of course, it was the first year of high school and both Harry and Kyzaba came from different middle schools. As soon as the two set their eyes upon each other, they knew that it was an everlasting friendship and rivalry even though they were completely different from each other. Kyzaba was calm and intelligent... while Harry was energetic, and while... he acts without thinking. Nevertheless, when the two students were given two Pokemon to borrow with for a battle exam, they chose each other as battle opponents. The duel had been intense and hard for both sides but in the end, Kyzaba won with just a tiny bit of health left on his Pokemon... and thus, a friendship has begun.

Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 0
Tier 0:
- Title: (#/#)

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Charmander
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Charmander
Gender: Male
Type: Fire
Ability: Blaze
Height: 2'0"
Weight: 18.7 lb
Health: Scrawny
EXP Rate: Medium Slow
EXP Gauge: (6/8)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Division: D8
Total Stats: 55
  • Attack: 13
  • Defense: 10
  • Sp. Attack: 14 (25%)
  • Sp. Defense: 7
  • Speed: 11 (20%)

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Scratch
2. Growl

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here
Edited by Kyzaba, 10 Sep 2015, 11:13 AM.
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Posted Image Riffraff
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Hey Ky! I love Kyzaba! As usual, we have a few tiny things to fix before we can see Kyzaba in Godai. I'll write it in list form to make it easier to follow. Let's go ^^


  • His Clothing & Accesories are pretty good! Does he wear anything else? Does he only have a jumper and no coat for the harsh cold? What kind of shoes does he wear? We love all the little details! ^^

  • The General Appearance is used to tell us what sort of unique attributes your character has. For example, how do they walk, what sort of facial expressions do they have, do they have any scars or tattoos? Think of all of the things that make your character different to one of mine, for example. Perhaps even take a look at one of my characters to see how they may differ from Ky.

  • For his Personality, try to mention some more of his traits, likes, and dislikes. We can see he is striving to be a strong Pokemon Trainer, but what else? What scares him? What makes him happy? Is he a bit of a nature lover? Does he perhaps worry about something?

  • His History is good too. The History is also a great way to include some of the traits and such from the personality and show how he possibly achieved a personality like he has and such. Being 16, he must have had a lot happen to him, so try to include all of his important life events which shaped him. How did he do at school? How did his parents react to him leaving for his journey? Again, we love all of the little details! ^^

  • The Pokemon section is almost perfect, however there are a few tiny pieces to correct. Take a look at the EXP Table. Charmander's EXP gauge should be filled out for levels 5/6, rather than level 0/1.

  • The EXP Gained section is also used for OOC purposes, so that we can track how much you have earned through your topics and such, so right now, it should still be 0.

  • Finally, the Unique Moves section is only for egg moves and TM moves, so you should leave it blank for now.

    That all may seem like a lot, however it shouldn't take you too long! Feel free to PM me if you don't understand anything I've said and I'll try to help you out. Thanks for your patience, and I look forwards to seeing Kyzaba accepted soon! ^^

Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Nice, we're nearly there!

Maybe remove some of the superfluous stuff from the General Appearance and still try to expand it a little. For example, the beginning part about being raised by a strict family is something that could go into his history or personality. Also think about his posture, the way he might walk, whatever you can think of.

It might be good to mention why Ky is so shy and keeps stuff hidden. Why is he so quiet in meetings? Why doesn't he show that he's a determined person? How is he so determined yet doesn't make it obvious? These are all things that give us a whole picture of his mind.

The History is better too. However, mentioning all of these friends makes me feel like he should include them in the history a little more. How exactly did they become friends? How did they influence Kyz's goal to become a trainer? I'd still like to hear more of his history, surely he's had a few important things happen to him in his whole 16 years? Maybe talk about how he reactd when he first took up Pokemon training lessons at school?

We're getting even closer!
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Edited

1. Enhanced General Appearance
2. Added 3 paragraphs of History
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Posted Image Wremn
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Blerrraaaugh -fire-

Alright Ky! So, welcome first of all. Glad you got to a great start with your character. ^^ Now to iron a few things out here and there.

  • Delete the Nickname portion since you don't have one

  • I already notice an excessive use of ellipses. Since a profile is more 'formal' and standardized, it's better to be straightforward. Thus, try eliminating all the ellipses (...) you use and be more concise. While writing your threads, it's fine to throw them in once in a while, but as I said, the profile is standardized.

  • Parentheses aren't necessary.

  • As for your General Appearance, once you remove the ellipses and extraneous interjections, continue to describe Ky's facial features. What shape is his face, his nose, chin, skin color, freckles etc. Also describe his body shape and his "average looks". To me, average sounds like you're saying he's boring. Even then, what makes him look ordinary? I know when I see an ordinary person, with proportional body features, they even look extra-ordinary because the majority of the people I interact with are very diverse.

  • For your hometown don't forget to add the location after the city name (i.e. North, South, East or West Godai?)

  • Now to the Personality. What you have is a great foundation already, but there are still 'why' questions we can ask.
    First off, words like intelligent and common sense are very generic. What's common sense to one person can sound like foolishness to another. Instead, describe the way Ky thinks. Does he tend to think situations out before acting, thus giving him the appearance of being 'smart'? Or is he instead a quick learner and easily adaptable? Is it a combination of both? What aspects make him a 'good trainer'? What aspects does he still have to work on? Once you've answered that, describe how Kyzaba approaches his shortcomings.

    Remember, this personality section is providing the framework for your character. It doesn't help if you just answer yes or no to our questions. We also need you to answer 'Why?'. You spoke about Gengar. Does Kyzaba hate the pokemon's unpredictability because he dislikes not being in control of his environment? What does Kyzaba ultimately want from being a pokemon trainer? Fame? Power? Frendship? A 'title' that he can put on himself? Why does he want or don't want to achieve these qualities?

    Finally how has Kyzaba failed? You mention it last and there must have been a type of event that changed him to become more hardworking and determined. Give these questions some thought before you answer them, and if it helps, ask these questions about yourself if you were in Kyzaba's place. It's a great exercise.

  • Now on to History. The premise of the history is to explain the events that led to the formation of Kyzaba's personality. Thus, I will be asking questions to help tie his Personality more with his History.

    First of all. I have to direct you to the Pokemon Godai IC Trivia thread. It is the 11th link down from the list at the top right of the page. In it is alot of assorted information, information that does assist in the character creation process.

    From the Godain Law as stated in that thread, all children usually go to school up til age 12. In Kyzaba's life, how was he affected by his early aged schooling? Whether it be homeschool or a public school, describe the atmosphere of Kyzaba's younger years. Was he always encouraged to work? How were his social skills as a young'n. There shouldn't be any glaring gaps in History.

    Continuing on, I enjoy how you described how the events impacted Kyzaba's attitude toward life. However, you can condense Kyzaba's relationships with his friends into one paragraph and keep their relationships brief. I know you put in alot of work, but focus instead on the events in his highschool life that nurtured his love for pokemon. Also add a portion at the end describing where Kyzaba is now in his life and the events prior to when you will RP as him.

    Here's a Tip: Try reading your History out loud to check for clarity and flow. Ellipses and random intejections like "Now, let's dig even deeper into the history." are unecessary. Think of this section as a mini-biography and be direct in presenting the information.



Alrighty Kyzaba! So I know how much work you put into it. This is the final stretch! I'm so proud of what you put up so far, and I can't wait to see how you really dig deep into what makes your character who he is and why he became that way. Remember to post a response here when you've finished. You got this, man!!!

Here's an otter gif to keep ya goin:
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