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Locked Topic
[A]Benjamin Hobbes; [Accepted]
Topic Started: 5 Oct 2015, 01:32 AM (1,023 Views)
Posted Image Silent Partner
Member Avatar


Trainer Profile

Character Name: Benjamin Hobbes
Nickname: Benji
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Trainer Class: Cameraman

Hometown: Cascadia City, Northern Godai

Physical Description


Personality


History (Childhood and Year One of Adventuring)



Inventory

Total Dians: 11,439

Medicines

Berries

Capture Items

Held Items

Other Items

Key Items


Trainer Advancement

Advancement Points: 125
Tier 0:


Tier 1


Pokemon
Total EXP Gained: 275

Pokemon
Posted Image
Quagsire
Caught at Level 5

Personality


Nickname: J.C.
Gender: Male
Type: Water/Ground
Ability: Water Absorb
Height: 4'07"
Weight: 165.3 lbs
Health: Above Average
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: (96/108)
EXP Gained: 89
Level: 20
Division: D5
Total Stats: 280
  • Attack: 62 (22%)
  • Defense: 70 (25%)
  • Sp. Attack: 60
  • Sp. Defense: 48
  • Speed: 40

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Tail Whip
1. Water Gun
5. Mud Sport
9. Mud Shot
15. Slam
19. Mud Bomb
Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


Pokemon
Posted Image
Espurr
Caught at Level 5

Personality


Nickname: Alfred
Gender: Male
Type: Psychic
Ability: Keen Eye
Height: 1'0"
Weight: 7.7 lbs
Health: Intermediate
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: (116/121)
EXP Gained: 109
Level: 21
Division: D7
Total Stats: 252
  • Attack: 45 (18%)
  • Defense: 41
  • Sp. Attack: 65
  • Sp. Defense: 43
  • Speed: 58 (23%)

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Scratch
1. Leer
5. Covet
9. Confusion
13. Light Screen
17. Psybeam
19. Fake Out
Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


Pokemon
Posted Image
Spinda
Caught at Level 7

Personality


Nickname: Maria
Gender: Female
Type: Normal
Ability: Tangled Feet
Height: 3'7"
Weight: 11.0 lbs
Health: Intermediate
EXP Rate: Fast
EXP Gauge: (79/87)
EXP Gained: 68
Level: 20
Division: D9
Total Stats: 200
  • Attack: 44
  • Defense: 40
  • Sp. Attack: 40
  • Sp. Defense: 40
  • Speed: 36

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Tackle
5. Copycat
10. Feint Attack
14. Psybeam
19. Hypnosis
Unique Moves:
- Wish (Egg Move)
-
-
-
Item:


Pokemon
Posted Image
Roselia
Caught at Level 19

Personality


Nickname: Sofia
Gender: Female
Type: Grass/Poison
Ability: Poison Point
Height: 1’0”
Weight: 4.4 lbs
Health: Low
EXP Rate: Medium Slow
EXP Gauge: 71/81
EXP Gained: 9
Level: 20
Division: D6
Total Stats: 260
  • Attack: 43
  • Defense: 63
  • Sp. Attack: 78 (30%)
  • Sp. Defense: 65 (25%)
  • Speed: 11

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Absorb
4. Growth
7. Poison Sting
10. Stun Spore
13. Mega Drain
16. Leech Seed
19. Magical Leaf
Unique Moves:
- Extrasensory (Egg Move)
-
-
-
Item:Posted Image Amulet Coin


Pokemon
Posted Image
Pumpkaboo
Caught at Level 21

Personality


Nickname: Julian
Gender: Male
Type: Ghost/Grass
Ability: Frisk
Height: 2’07”
Weight: 33.1 lbs
Health: Low
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: 108/121
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 21
Division: D8
Total Stats: 231
  • Attack: 61 (26%)
  • Defense: 53 (23%)
  • Sp. Attack: 34
  • Sp. Defense: 43
  • Speed: 40

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Trick
1. Astonish
1. Confuse Ray
4. Scary Face
11. Worry Seed
16. Razor Leaf
20. Leech Seed
Unique Moves:
-Disable (Egg Move)
-
-
-
Item:



Pokemon
Posted Image
Tyrogue
Hatched at Level 1

Personality

Nickname: N/A (will determine when hatched IC)
Gender: Female
Type: Fighting
Ability: Guts
Height: 2’ 4”
Weight: 46.3 lbs
Health: Scrawny
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: 1/2
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 1
Division: D10
Total Stats: 9
  • Attack: 2
  • Defense: 2
  • Sp. Attack: 2
  • Sp. Defense: 2
  • Speed: 1

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Fake Out
1. Foresight
1. Helping Hand
1. Tackle
Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal


Adventure Log
Edited by Mr. Johnapillar, 28 Jan 2017, 11:40 PM.
Posted Image

Benjamin Hobbes • Cameraman • Total EXP Gained: 51 EXP • Dians: *dian* 1856 • Location: Skytouch Forest

Benjamin's Team


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Posted Image Riffraff
Member Avatar


Hey Silent (or Panther, unless you have another nickname you prefer!), welcome to Godai! Nice job with Ben (I love to see another Photographer character around!), but as always, there are tweaks here and there we need to fix before we get started.

  • Let's start with the Clothing & Accessories. What you've got is good. Is that all he wears? Does he have a jacket? In Godai, it's Winter right now, I wouldn't want him catching a cold lol

  • His General Appearance is pretty good too! Consider things like his posture, the way he walks, just anything else that makes him stand out in comparison to the next character we come across.

  • You've got a great start on his Personality! Try to expand, and think of things like his traits, his likes, and his dislikes. Does anything scare him? Is he a happy soul or an angsty one? What does he absolutely love and what does he despise with a passion? This could only take an extra few sentences, so don't worry if that sounds too long!

  • His History is great, since it tells us all about his hobby and how it came into his life. Try to tell us more about his school life, his general life, and stuff like that. He's 18, so surely he's had a lot happen to him in that time? How did he react to the fears and likes that I hope you'll think of? Maybe even expand on the jaw accident you mentioned in his general appearance.

  • Finally, that leaves us with the Pokemon section. All that you need to fix are the stats. Wooper's Pokedex entry states that you need a percentage for Attack and Defense so you can remove the others. Take a look at My Character and look at the Pokemon's stats if it helps.

    That's all I can notice. It may seem like a lot, but honestly, it shouldn't take you too long, drop me a PM if you need any help. Thanks for your patience, and I hope to see you in Godai soon! ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Posted Image Silent Partner
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Thank you very much for the input. I have made the edits you pointed out, and hopefully fleshed out his backstory a little better. Let me know if there are any other changes to make that I missed. Thank you once again for the help, Riffraff.
Posted Image

Benjamin Hobbes • Cameraman • Total EXP Gained: 51 EXP • Dians: *dian* 1856 • Location: Skytouch Forest

Benjamin's Team


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Posted Image Riffraff
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Stupid Riff, I'm sorry Silent, I called you Panther instead of Partner!

This is a lot better! I think you should try and mention some more about his past life in his History, though. Maybe talk about why he likes photography so much? Is the idea of him becoming a Pokemon trainer something you're likely to explain in an origin topic, or do you think you could explain it here? Maybe think about what made him capture a Wooper, or how his family and friends reacted to him becoming a trainer?

We're so close now! ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Posted Image Silent Partner
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Ok, I hopefully cleared up his motivation (both for camerawork and going on his journey) a bit more, and added an extra scene about receiving his wooper. Is there anything else I'm missing?

Posted Image

Benjamin Hobbes • Cameraman • Total EXP Gained: 51 EXP • Dians: *dian* 1856 • Location: Skytouch Forest

Benjamin's Team


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Posted Image Riffraff
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I think you're good! Here's my approval 1/2 ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Alrighty Silent! You’re almost there; very close, however I’d like to see just a bit more but you got this. Since I know you know your stuff, you’ll do these edits no problem. That said, Engage! -

For his ”Clothing [...]”, add in a few more sentences perhaps if the man has a style that he tends to go with? Does he wear anything else? Not even a bag? Other miscellaneous stuff? Just one set of clothing? If so, state it, but be wary of bacteria build up and hygiene! What about during warm seasons?

For his ”Personality”, you’ve definitely hit the minimum which is fantastic! However, what else can you tell me about Benji other than his passion on solely camera/photography? What are his likes and dislikes? What are his other strengths and weaknesses? How do all these affect him on a psychological level? Also, constantly ask yourself “why” and “how”. For example, what’s Benji’s definition of lacking social interaction? What type of social interaction? What can he do and can’t do? You get the gist! Also, what about his world view? How does he cope when things don’t go his way? How does he feel about forming relationships of any kind with others - whether or not it’s platonic or romantic? How does he view himself on a personal level or others? So on and so forth. Don’t be afraid to really flush out the details! If you’re not sure, feel free to draw some inspiration from ”Accepted Characters”!

His ”History” is a whole other ball game! It’s almost perfect! However, I would like to see another paragraph or a few more sentences in reference to Benji’s childhood. Basically almost anything important prior to this 13th birthday, because everything after that is beautiful. Don’t forget that his ”History” should compliment his ”Personality”! And due to children being a sponge, most of their core personality is developed within those times and warped or altered throughout the stages of cognitive and motor development.

Everything else is lovely; great job so far.

When any edits have been made, please post a reply and surely you will get your last approval from me. I’m excited to see what else you add. ♥
Posted Image
Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Silent Partner
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I tried my best to flesh out the personality a bit more, and to give insight into his early life. Please let me know if there are any other ways in which I can improve it.
Posted Image

Benjamin Hobbes • Cameraman • Total EXP Gained: 51 EXP • Dians: *dian* 1856 • Location: Skytouch Forest

Benjamin's Team


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Posted Image Mr. Johnapillar
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Excellent work~ Just a couple things.

I would really love to know what Benjamin thinks is right and wrong, talk about his morals and ethics in his personality a little bit and why he feels that way. What pushes his mood to either extreme as well? can anything get his blood boiling? what about filling his life with joy?

The other thing is some small worldbuilding stuff in your history. most cities don't really have gates, or formal ones anyway. As romantic as that imagery is, it doesn't really fit in with a realistic setting where cities don't have walls. Furthermore, it might be better to use a police officer instead of a random group of people to remind Benjamin about the laws regarding being a trainer, and maybe at a different setting. As it is, it seems kinda inexplicable and convenient.

Otherwise, really great work on the character~
Posted Image

Seth Halley Thawyer • Astronomer • Total EXP Gained: 369 • Dians: *dian* 300 • Location: Serenity Lake

Pokemon


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Posted Image Silent Partner
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I made some edits, hopefully I cleared things up a tad bit. Please let me know if there's anything else I need to do to flesh it out.
Posted Image

Benjamin Hobbes • Cameraman • Total EXP Gained: 51 EXP • Dians: *dian* 1856 • Location: Skytouch Forest

Benjamin's Team


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Posted Image Wremn
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Blerrraaaugh -fire-

Awesome profile! I can completely relate to your character, ahaha. And lucky you, getting all the mods to answer your profile. I'm sure everyone else will agree when I give you my 1/2 and this approval.

Posted Image

Your character application has now been accepted! Please make sure to create a signature of your character. Once that is done, you are now free to RP! If you made a personal mistake with your character, please submit a modification process involving a revamp.

This topic is now closed without further ado.
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