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Vanille Le Franz; Ready for Review
Topic Started: 17 Oct 2015, 03:40 PM (274 Views)
Posted Image Avacyn
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Trainer Profile

Character Name: Vanille Le Franz
Nickname: Vanilla
Gender: Female
Age: 16
Trainer Class: Cool Beauty

Height: 4' 9"
Weight: 94lb

Hair Color & Style: Her bright blonde hair has been dyed an Icy Blue color. Her hair is waist length when its down, however she wears it up in two long braided ponytails.

Eyes: Her eyes compliment her hair. Their color a bone chilling ice blue. With their rather large size, its hard to say if you could stare into her soul or not. Her eyebrows are there just in her original hair color a very light blonde color.

Clothing/Accessories: Vanille wears dark colors, blues purples, greys, and blacks. She has mostly been seen wearing a dress similar to a Kimono. On this dress you can see lace and frills that have been made into many different sized snowflakes. She has three more of these dresses, one for each season, but made the same, only the spring and summer ones are made of a lighter fabric. However she wears knee high light blue socks and a pair of dress boots normally black. She also carries around a fur knapsack that carries her hygiene products, as well as various survival items, such as rations, a first aid kit, and a special soap for her clothing.

General Appearance: Vanilla has been a small statured girl her whole life. The only thing that people say is big about her are her eyes, which are complimented on quite often. However, her face is quite small and her other features match it. Small dainty nose with a small mouth, with slight pink lips that are just as small. Her facial expression most of the time is, well, a soft gentle look. The rest of her body however has grown to be quite feminine. With that femininity has come a more noble posture, though she can't keep it for long switching for a more modest and timid one. Though she lacks a modest bust, her behind is a little out there. Her hands are slim and her lightly tanned skin is soft to the touch, albeit people don't touch her often. She has an athletic look about her, but everyone that knows her knows she is not.

Hometown: Melka Village, North Godai

Personality: Vanille can come across as a very well adjusted person. She takes things as they come and go, shoving away her own fears at times. She has her childish moments, like randomly jumping into snow like it was her own bed. If anyone mentions her mother in good or bad fashion, she shies away having recently lost her. It still is fresh in her mind and she misses her dearly, often talking to her in her own mind. Vanille loves the cold, growing up in it she has come to be used to it. Living in a place where everyone is close knit she also has come to kinda shy away from new people, although not entirely blocking them out. She will end up saying one word sentences.

She does have some bad traits as well, such as talking a little too much and interupting conversations. Vanille also enjoys the perks of not being afraid of the cold. Vanille all in all is a calm person that enjoys the cold air, whom shies away from the little things that have harmed her in life. Such as her mothers death, it has scared her and kept her away from graveyards. Also a fear of being forgotten has crept into her mind, she strives to make herself known at least by some people.

History: Vanille Le Franz, born in Melka Village, a place where everyone knows everyone and those who make their stay aren't faint of heart. Growing up here isn't easy for children and it wasn't much easier for Vanille. If it wasn't for her parents she probably wouldn't be around anymore, with the blizzards and sheer cold of the mountain town at night. Her parents, Alivoa and Rictard, took great care of her. They helped her to become whom she was now. One thing that majorly impacted her life was her love of the cold, especially ice and snow. Rictard, her father, owned an Avalug. She would ride this at a young age, roughly around four or five years old, until she fell asleep. They have become some very fond memories.

Rictard, Vanille's father, was a very strong and well respected man. Often enough, he would head out into the wilderness to find food and hunt for furs. This brought years of knowledge when it came to Pokemon's behavior to Vanille's disposal when she was being home schooled. Her mother Alivoa, she was a gentle creature and though always watching Vanille as she grew up, found the time to help others with open arms. What she didn't know was that she had inherited an illness, breast cancer. In the end she died from it, bringing Vanille down and her father to do most of the chores in the house. Of course with Vanille's help. Rictard saw what was happening to his daughter, but alas he felt he wouldn't be able to console her.

Around her seventh year of living, she began to learn about Pokemon, starting by being home schooled. She often would interupt her parents, answering things before they could say the whole question. On her eighth she began to learn how to survive the cold and harsh climates on the mountains, this involved using Pokemon. Finally soon after that, she began to learn how to battle with Pokemon, using her parents Pokemon, in a local trainers school no less. She had her first battle by herself here, which was very important to her. She had fought well, but she ended up losing. Which resulted in herself coming to the conclusion she needed to study more. Vanille wouldn't win a battle for quite some time, almost seven years in fact. In that time she made some close friends, but soon they dispersed, moving on and going on a journey of their own. Vanille was happy to see them go, yet sad at the same time. Often she would wonder if they would remember her.

Before this battle though, at the age of eleven,she had been lost out in the wilderness for a few months. She was hiking with her father and listening to a droning conversation about how father met mother and the importance of her survival training, in which he was going to teach her. However she got separated by a sudden blizzard. In which where she did unfortunately happen upon with a family of Beartic and Cubchoo. They were hostile at first surrounding her, but when looking at her and seeing as she wasn't much of a threat, the leader of the group approached her, smelling her and obviously judging if she was a threat or not. In the end, they helped her back to the village in the dark of midnight. Quickly retreating for fear of being seen. She would often revisit the same spot in hope she would meet them again. She had made friends with a small Cubchoo then, but how could it remember her?

Vanille had come back and treated once again like a child. It wasn't just the Pokemon that helped her though, she would explain. It was also the survival training she had recieved while growing up and watching others.Her next attempt at becoming a full fledged trainer came when she was fifteen years of age. Those past 6 years had come with her studying everyday with friends and family. It did help that she was home schooled , however her father had pushed her hard and to the limit. During the time off she had made friends. One friend was someone she considered a rival, a boy by the name of Nolan, whom helped push her into studying and becoming a trainer. During the rest of the time, she learnt the weaknesses and strengths of the types of Pokemon and that just because a Pokemon was stronger, it didn't mean they always won. What was more was the bad news that shook her out of studying for a time. Her mother had died earlier in life, making an impact on her and now she was feeling the brunt of it, why after all these years? After talking to Nolan and her father she rethought her thinking eventually and made herself go to battle again, to prove herself as a competent trainer.

Vanille won the battle, though close. She proved herself worthy of a Pokemon and worthy of her name. Now she sits idly by waiting for her moment to chose an Ice type of her choice, that moment may be sooner than she thinks.

Inventory

Dians: *dian* 1,000

Items:
Posted Image 5x Pokéball

Key Items:
Posted Image PokéDex
Posted Image Journal
Posted Image Holocaster
Trainer AdvancementAdvancement Points: 0

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Posted Image
Cubchoo
Caught at Level 5


Nickname: Rawr
Gender: Male
Type: Ice
Ability: Snow Cloak
Height: 1' 8"
Weight: 18.7lb
Health: Low
EXP Rate: Medium Fast
EXP Gauge: (7/9)
EXP Gained: 0
Level: 5
Division: D8
Total Stats: 55
  • Attack: 16(30%)
  • Defense: 11
  • Sp. Attack: 13(25%)
  • Sp. Defense: 8
  • Speed: 7

Vitamins Used: None
Moveset:
1. Powder Snow
5. Growl

Unique Moves:
-
-
-
-
Item:


PC Box: Stored Pokemon


Journal

Adventure Log
 
Adventure Log goes in here

Edited by Avacyn, 27 Oct 2015, 02:23 PM.
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Posted Image Bones
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Nooope

Heya Ava! Due to the "Character Rules" right above this particular subforum, this character is a WIP and thus will be moved into the "Incomplete Characters" section.

But, it's only temporarily! Once you feel as if you've completed her, simply post a reply telling us that you're done and we'll move it and check it in all its glory!

Until then, if you're unsure of what we tend to look for, check out "Accepted Characters" and don't forget to review "Common Application Mistakes". Good luck! ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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Posted Image Avacyn
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I believe she is ready for review
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Posted Image Riffraff
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Hey Ava! Nice work with Vanille, I like her! Here's a few things we need to expand upon, but it shouldn't take long! ^^

  • Firstly, her General Appearance is good! Think about how she looks a little more, though. Think of her posture, her facial expressions, just everything that makes her stand out with the next person we look at.

  • Her Personality is a great start too. Think about things like her fears, what she absolutely loves, and any traits she has. For example, is she scared of the dark? Is she a bit of a kleptomaniac? Every little detail you can think of is perfect!

  • Her History is a great start! Being 16 years old, though, I feel like there are many more events and memories that happened in her life. Talk about her school life. Maybe even talk about her Pokemon Training classes which she would have taken at school? Think about the things that you said in her Personality too: mention how she discovered her likes, dislikes, fears, and how she developed any traits that you mention.

  • The Pokedex is perfect. Well done!

    That's all I can notice, try expanding those points and we'll see if I can give you my Approval 1/2. Thanks for your patience, and I'm here if you need any help or understanding with anything ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Posted Image Avacyn
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Alright.... Lets give this another shot.
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Posted Image Riffraff
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Alright, nice work!

Everything seems fine, but I think the History still needs a tiny bit of expanding. Personally I'd love to hear more about her past life! Consider the points that I mentioned before, and just think about everything that she considers a major point in her life, or that you would consider to be a defining moment in her life.

PM me or reply if you need any help, and I'll see what I can do. Thanks for your patience ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Posted Image Avacyn
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Alrighty i added a few things
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Nice, good work. Here's 1/2 ^^
Emilie 'Lili' Kaplan
Elijah Hershel

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Nooope

Alrighty Avacyn! My turn! This is almost perfect however I’d like to see a bit more elaboration in Vanilla’s ”Personality” section and maybe a bit more in her ”History”. So far; this is a bloody great job -

For her ”Personality”, what else can you tell me about her? Think more on a psychological basis of why she likes the things she does and how it makes her feel cognitively. Tell me much more about her! What is so significant about her likes and dislikes? Relate them to those psychological aspects, which I know you can definitely do. Does she have any other strengths and weaknesses that affect her mentally? Tell me more than just the skeleton. What are her morals? Beliefs? Ethics? How does she make friends, how does she keep relationships, etc? How does she view mankind, pokemonkind, or even herself? Is there something she holds onto no matter what? For example, what is the definition of a “well-adjusted person”? They vary from person to person as most say it’s through the ‘eyes of the beholder’. How does she shove her fears away? And why? What is she trying to uphold desperately or what is she trying to avoid? Another example is why she is “kinda” shy towards new people? Is she hiding something? Embarassed about something? Wary? Is it a habitual or ulterior motive to allow others to underestimate her? Overestimate? So on and so forth. Things like that! Remember, quality over quantity.

Go through this again asking yourself “why”s and “how”s. While you do a great job for the latter, the former is somewhat vague. Nothing wrong with vague and you can leave out any other plot points that you want to include in your journey, however the mind is a different thing! In that section, I’m looking for another strong paragraph or two. But of course, that should not at all be your limit.

In her ”History”, explain the significance of the cold as it seems to have a rather large impact of her life. Talk about Vanilla and not too much onher family. Because this is a ”History” specifically about your character and not the others! Most importantly, how does her History compliment Vanilla’s ”Personality”? How did she gain the traits she listed above through the trials, obstacles, experiences, and situations she found herself in? Whether they’re mundane, traumatic, or epic is definitely up to you! And of course, most importantly, how did she feel as those things happened? Did they change her perspective in any way? Did those instances mold, solidify, warp, or shape it to something more or less? How did she feel when she was treated like a child? Not only that but because she is rather shorter than the average height, how was that upon her? Did it play any significant part? Of course, there’s no right or wrong answer there. I’m honestly looking for only simple elaborations here - nothing too much.

Other than that, everything else looks fabtacular! You know the drill once anything has been changed. Good luck! ♥
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Sonak Paetdee
Kian Conrad
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