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| [A]Bartholomew Hendricks; [Accepted] | |||||
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| Tweet Topic Started: 16 Sep 2013, 10:56 AM (375 Views) | |||||
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16 Sep 2013, 10:56 AM Post #1 | ||||
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Trainer Profile Character Name: Bartholomew Hendricks Nickname: Barty, Bart. Known to many simply as "Hendrix". Gender: Male Age: 22 Trainer Class: Street Punk Height: 5'5" Weight: 162 lbs. Hair Color & Style: Blonde hair. Keeps it shaved as a buzz cut, usually. Eyes: Blue Clothing/Accessories: Trashy T-shirts, blue jeans dirty from the road. Has one earring in his left ear: a simple (fake) gold ring. General Appearance: Hendrix gives the impression of someone you do not want to associate with if you do not have to. He's not very muscular, and not very tall, but he has this look about him, like "that boy is up to his nose in some shit you want no part of". His shifty eyes and uncomfortable demeanor does little to make him seem more friendly. If you see this guy, you know something shady is about to go down. Hometown: Parchdry Port, West Godai Personality: Rude, ineloquent, and occasionally mean. Hendrix is prone to anger and fits of rage. He solves his problems in unhealthy ways, from violence to avoidance. He has a soft spot for children, however, and hates to see them victimized or taken advantage of. He is incredibly passionate, and he is also ruled by those passions. When he seeks out a goal, he often does so with little regard for the feelings and safety of others. History: His neighborhood is basically a ghetto. Ever wonder who cooks the food at those fancy restaurants? Who washes the cars? Takes out the trash? Raises those people's kids for them? They all live in that craphole a few miles out, a place that all the rich residents like to pretend doesn't exist. Hendrix, though, wasn't actually born there. His parents were middle class suburbanites. But Hendrix was lazy and bullheaded, didn't want to go to school, didn't want to get a job, and moved out as soon as he turned 13. Eventually he wound up where all the crap eventually washes up: in the ghettos of Parchdry. Within weeks of living there, Barty had found himself in trouble. He owed some money to a group of thugs, and had no way to pay it back. Fortunately, Myron Mels, their boss, saw potential in young Bart. He was soon forced to be their errand boy to work off his debt, but as he began to do more and more dangerous jobs for them, he became more and more entangled in the world of street crime. There came a point where there was no turning back. He would work for local crime bosses--no big leaguers, as the big leaguers were all gone thanks to the efforts to gentrify Parchdry. Usually, Barty did the little stuff. Thefts here and there, threats, collection of protection money. He occasionally ran drugs as well. Myron Mels was one of the last players in the drug and sex trade in Parchdry, with a small gang of less than a dozen. Because there weren't any big players anymore, Mels thought himself a lot more imporant than he was. Hendrix was only concerned with the money and reputation he was raking in, he didn't care about criminal politics. Hendrix survived on the streets by a good reputation for getting the job done, and a bad reputation for violence. He would sometimes use Pokemon to shake up those who wouldn't pay up. He had this Meowth that was his partner in crime. He found Meowth not long after coming to the city, curling up inside a cardboard box to escape the rain. Meowth was a natural grifter. Hendrix would use his Pay Day ability to con others on the streets for whatever he needed. Since the coins weren't produced in battle, they dissolved after an hour or so. If ever Mels needed something done for zero cash investment, he went to Hendrix and Meowth. No one ever really respected Hendrix, though. For all his accomplishments as a thief and a grifter, he was still a street-level thug. He could have been set for a long time if he hadn't started rocking the boat. Hendrix wanted out from under Mels' leadership. Mels might have been a good businessman, but he was an asshole with a huge rage problem, often berating his employees for simply having to pass by him on their way to whatever he had them doing. Eventually, many of his associates got tired of being treated that way, and they, including Hendrix, formed a plan to steal his business interests and start working for themselves. Long story short, they were found out. Just as with Mels, Hendrix was their go-to guy to get things done. This made him a prime target for Mels' rage--but it was Meowth who paid the price. Mels chose not to kill Hendrix. Mels' Venusaur, on Mels' orders, drained Meowth of his life energy and threw him off a bridge to his death. The crime boss wanted to teach this street punk a lesson. Mels then acted as if he'd just put a whiny little punk in his place, as if Hendrix had simply flown too close to the sun and his wings had melted. The fat fuck was too self-absorbed to see the fire burning behind blue eyes. Inventory Dians: 1,000Items: Key Items: PokéDexAdvancementAdvancement Points: (0/30) - Tier 0 Pokemon Total EXP Gained: 0
PC Box: Stored Pokemon Journal
Edited by MasterVile, 23 Sep 2013, 09:47 AM.
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Bartholomew Hendricks • Street Punk
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22 Sep 2013, 09:59 AM Post #2 | ||||
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Okay, I think I've cleared it of all faux pases now. This thread is ready to be moved to the Character Application section to be evaluated. | ||||
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Bartholomew Hendricks • Street Punk
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22 Sep 2013, 12:55 PM Post #3 | ||||
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Awesome~ It's nice to see this completed~ Anyway, just one small canonical error. I know it seems nit-picky, but there can't really be any organized crime syndicates in Godai, and Nexus isn't widely known, even among criminals. There can be a "gang" of thugs, but no more than maybe a half dozen of them. Your history was great, it was just these couple of things that don't quite mesh with what we have going on. Secondly, itty bitty thing, your EXP gained should say 0. Your gauge is still right, 6/8, but the EXP gained is how much EXP they gained with the trainer, and your starter should always be at 0. And maybe I guess describing venusaur draining some "Life energy" isn't quite right... but at this point I'm arguing aesthetics lol. Don't worry about that lol~ P.S. Jackson is only a novice mod and was mistaken about shinies. I just rolled though and you did not get a shiny. You're not as far away as you could be from one though, so maybe Random.org might smile upon you in the future~ |
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![]() Seth Halley Thawyer • Astronomer • Total EXP Gained: 369 • Dians: 300 • Location: Serenity LakePokemon | |||||
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23 Sep 2013, 09:52 AM Post #4 | ||||
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Alright, I removed any references to Nexus, reduced the status of the gang, and fixed up Charmander's stat sheet. I think this should be sufficient. I was wondering though, could I base my starting thread on an attempt by Mels to make his gang into the first big-time players in a long time failing disastrously and leaving Bartholomew in dire enough straits to do what he does next (i.e.: stealing the Charmander from a lab)? It would provide me with a plot to get things rolling and make it interesting. I feel that Barty wouldn't just immediately plot revenge, and he would need to be in a tighter situation because, right now, Mels wouldn't want to kill one of his few valuable employees. I don't think trying and failing to create a big crime business, and getting caught by the law, would clash with anything going on right now. |
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Bartholomew Hendricks • Street Punk
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23 Sep 2013, 06:42 PM Post #5 | ||||
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Alright, Approval 1/2~ | ||||
![]() Seth Halley Thawyer • Astronomer • Total EXP Gained: 369 • Dians: 300 • Location: Serenity LakePokemon | |||||
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23 Sep 2013, 08:28 PM Post #6 | ||||
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Looks good, 2/2 approval Your character application has now been accepted! Please make sure to create a signature of your character. Once that is done, you are now free to RP! If you made a personal mistake with your character, please submit a modification process involving a revamp. This topic is now closed without further ado. |
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![]() Corvo Marek Jacob Sterling
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