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& a few more ?
Topic Started: 23 Feb 2014, 07:16 PM (72 Views)
Roxysmum
Regal Lover

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.

Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' :embarrassed:

oOo



A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my
intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,


cause I still have mine.' :thumbs up:

oOo



'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the Divorce Court

Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife £775 a week.''

That's very fair, your honor, the husband said.

And every now and then I'll try to send her a few quid myself.' :lmao:


oOo

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' :sofa:


oOo


A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take
to fly from San Francisco to New York City?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. :thud:

oOo



Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun!
What the heck is a golf gun?'

'I don't know.
But it sure made a hole in Juan.' :rollonthefloor:

oOo


A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks
him how he is feeling.

'I'm O.K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.

'What did he say,' asked the nurse.

'Oops!' :angel:

oOo



While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits.

It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked.

'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied.
'You'd never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care. :seeingstars:

oOo

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even
more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there. :ninja:

Edited by Roxysmum, 23 Feb 2014, 07:16 PM.
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