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Chad Lyon; a.k.a Spines the graffiti artist
Topic Started: Jan 28 2012, 06:50 PM (174 Views)
Deamon
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Name: Chad Lyon
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Faction: Rebel

Appearance:
Chad stands at 5'10" and weighs 145 pounds. He has long brown hair that reaches to around his chin. His face is round as are eyes, which are a light green colour. His skin isn't quite pale but it isn't tanned either. His nose and mouth are both of an average size and he has relatively high cheekbones.

Chad tends to wear mostly hoodies and cargo pants so he can conceal any signs of his power. He also owns a respirator that he wears whenever he puts up graffiti as well as a half balaclava he sometimes wears if there is any chance that he'll come into contact with any members of the Military or Mark 21's

Biography: Chad was born to his mother Sarah and a father who ran away when he heard he had gotten Sarah pregnant. Chad has spent most of his life living in the same old and run-down house that is in part paid for by his mum and part by her parents. Chad spent most of his early life as a normal child would, going to school and playing with friends. The confusion of why many of the other children had two parents and he only had one stayed with him however and he asked his mum about it. After she explained that his dad had walked out on her as soon as he had heard that she was pregnant. This had led to Chad always having a deep resentment of his father, for putting his mum through all the struggles of having a child on her own. Chad later found out that both his mum and dad had been drunk when he was conceived, Chad didn't want to repeat the same mistakes that had already been made by his parents and became straight edge. Vowing never to drink or take drugs, he has kept this vow for his whole life.

Chad also came into contact with members of the Mark 21 gang before they became a force within Brockton. He lived in the same neighbourhood as some of them and he didn't like anything the gang did. After learning the art of graffiti from some of the other teenagers who weren't part of the gang, Chad started to spray his own art over the Mark 21 tags in his neighbourhood. He also found graffiti to be a good way to express himself and would put art up whenever he felt like saying something but couldn't express it through speaking or music.

Chad had listened to a lot of music when he was younger and eventually found Rage Against the Machine. He was inspired to learn how to play an instrument and decided on bass. After forming a band with two of his childhood friends and his then current girlfriend Natalie, Chad finally felt like he'd found his place in the world. That feeling came crashing down once the Riverside explosion occurred. In the midst of the chaos that directly followed Natalie went missing and people started to fall ill all over Brockton, including Chad's mother.

Chad discovered he had a power one night when he was trying to sleep. He became racked with an intense pain as bone spines pushed their way through his skin. Over time, he started to be able to control the power and make it so that he could only extend spines from a certain body part. As the Military moved in to quarantine the city, Chad noticed that people started disappearing if they went to the Military for help. Starting to doubt that the Military were only there to provide help, he started to use his skill at graffiti to spray paint anti-Military messages around Brockton.

Feeling he had nothing left to lose he joined the Rebels who were fighting against the quarantine that had been placed on Brockton. He is frequently used by the group to spray anti-Military and Mark 21 graffiti around Brockton. A frequent piece his marks buildings with is 'Major Murder', a caricature of Carlton Jaeger the man who commands the military presence in Brockton. He also tags pictures of the leader of the Mark 21's who is nicknamed 'the Slum God' placing his face on the body of a Chihuahua to openly mock his power. He started labelling the work with the pseudonym 'Spines' once people started taking notice of it. Chad's power also makes him useful for the Rebel's when it comes to any fighting that occurs because he doesn't need a weapon to be effective.

Power: Chad can grow spines at set points on his body. These spines do cause him pain when he extends them out of his body. The wounds that the spines cause never get time to properly heal meaning that there are noticeable marks all over his body. The spines themselves are extremely sharp and can cut through many materials even body armour. They can however be broken off and will not grow back if this happens meaning that Chad can potentially lose all of his spines.

The main problem with Chad’s power is that it hurts him every time he extends the spines it hurts him and can cause him to bleed. It is also very had for him to conceal any evidence of his power and as such is frequently seen wearing a hoodie so that he can cover all the cuts left from his spines.

Starting belongings:
Chad doesn't feel like he needs a weapon so he doesn't carry one. He does however carry at least one spray can on his person so that he can put up any graffiti supporting the Rebellions cause whenever he feels like it. He also carries his respirator and half mask in case he needs them.
Edited by Deamon, Jan 30 2012, 05:28 PM.
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MK Kilmarnock
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Hey there! Just got a few things to say about Chad, and I get reaaaaaaaally nitpicky here.

Appearance: Want a space between 'Appearance:' and 'Chad'. Also, you probably want to combine the last two sentences in appearances because starting a sentence with 'as well as' comes off as a bit weird.

Bio: I'm actually lazy and haven't listed what year it is yet... so while Chad's age is fine, you probably don't want to list his birth year (haven't specified this as 2012). Pointing out a typo... "After she explained that his dead had", probably meant 'dad'. Also, as a more contextual question, where did he learn the art of graffiti? Did he learn it from the Mark 21s?
Another typo: "how to play and instrument", probably meant 'an'. Super nitpick: "current girlfriend Natalie Chad", probably want a comma between Natalie and Chad to make the sentence flow better. Actually, just do a general comma check in general, as pointing out each and every one would be a bit of a pain.

He wasn't infected with the 'illness' per se; some people suffer no effects, some get sick, and some get powers, so that's likely just a phrasing issue. A quick reminder to check for commas, as they are your friends. A few places where they could be used are: 'Over time, he started to...', 'As the military moved in to quarantine the city, Chad noticed...', '... were only there to provide help, he started to use...'. Typo: 'frequent piece his marks buildings with' (think you meant he marks).

I know there's a lot that I picked on here, but it's all really little stuff, mostly grammatical dings and overall, I really like the idea you're going for here, so keep at it!

Power: Complete sentences are necessary. So instead of 'Can grow spines', go more for 'Chad can grow spines'. A quick question, though. If he grows spines all over his body and they cause pain coming through, do the wounds ever close or... maybe the spines don't retract? More elaboration here is key. Also, they don't grow back? So it's possible that he could lose all of his bone spines?

That's about all. It's a bit of work, but you can do it! I'll take another look at Chad when you do this up for me.
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Deamon
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Edited!
Edited by Deamon, Jan 29 2012, 05:24 PM.
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MK Kilmarnock
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It's all grammar nitpicks from here, so the big stuff is out of the way.

"He also owns a respirator that he wears whenever he puts up and graffiti", the word 'and' seems really out of place.

"A frequent piece his marks buildings with is 'Major Murder', A caricature of Carlton Jaeger", I should comment that I think this idea is HILARIOUS and is my favorite part of the character. However, that second 'A' shouldn't be capitalized.

"He started labelling the work with the synonym 'Spines'", I think you meant pseudonym.

That's about all I spot this time, so just patch that up real quick.
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Deamon
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Edited!
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MK Kilmarnock
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Alright. Thanks for sticking with me.

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