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If I Was Your Vampire
Topic Started: Jul 8 2017, 05:53 PM (5,801 Views)
Sam Tyler
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Gladys
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
*Frank Morgan.

Sam got used to life in 1973. Not exactly complacent - he still longs to go home - but... he stopped fighting quite so hard. He made more of an effort to get along with everyone.

Until Frank Morgan came along, and toppled all of that.

Now, Sam feels torn. He wants to go home. He wants to. But... there are things keeping him here as well. Chris has become an avid student, and Sam enjoys playing the role of mentor. Leaving Annie, after everything she's done for him, feels like betrayal.

And Gene...

Well...

Sam stops walking, looking up at the sky for a moment. It's heavily cloudy, promising rain. Better hurry up...

Pulling his jacket's collar up a bit higher, Sam continues on, his cuban heels clacking on the cobblestones.

He can't say that he and Gene are dating. For one because Gene would punch him, and for another because even Sam wouldn't use that term. A quick fumble in an alleyway, Gene getting him off in the Cortina in the dead of the night... That one time they dragged each other into Lost & Found and practically had a fight over who was to give the first blowjob...

That's not dating. Sam doesn't know what it is, but it isn't dating. And yet, it isn't just impersonal sex either.

Because Sam cares. He cares about what happens to Gene. He gets worried when he notices Gene starting his day off with whiskey for breakfast. When his cough sounds horribly chesty. When he's staring off into space, thinking no one is watching him.

Stepping through the gate to the cemetery, Sam shakes his head. He's tried to puzzle this out many times over the last few weeks, and it's never lead him anywhere. Asking Gene out "officially" is out of the question, surely. And it's not like Sam wants to get involved properly anyway - if he's going to go home...

And there he is again, at the beginning of that thought cycle.

Sam stops, looks around until he spots the familiar figure, stood in the distance beneath a tree, looking at one of the graves. Morgan asked Sam to meet him there. Sam ignores a creeping feel of dread at the sight, takes a breath and makes his way over to the man. Whatever he wants to talk about, hopefully they'll be done before it starts raining... Sam didn't bring an umbrella.

Once he's close enough, Sam calls out.*

Frank?
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Seeing Gene battle with himself, still trying to get out of it... it causes a pang of guilt. Maybe he shouldn't be badgering Gene about this.

But at the same time, concentrating on Gene is helping Sam pay less attention to his own misery. And with the way things are right now... The power imbalance between them is almost unbearable. On some dark level, this is Sam's attempt to bring at least a semblance of equality back into their relationship.

He doesn't respond straight away, merely watching Gene instead. His bent back, the stony expression... "It's not the happiest memory"... so this is personal, clearly. Gene reacted the same way when the vampire asked about it, and there was something else he said during the first night...

Sam's expression softens a little, and there is no edge in his voice when he speaks.*

... you lost someone, didn't you.
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene blinks, that statement hitting him like a ton of bricks. Sam knows. He didn't even have to say.

And what makes it even more unsettling is... It's exactly what the vampire said. Damn. He must be easier to read than he'd thought. Must be because he's so tired.

He lost someone. Someone incredibly close. Someone he was supposed to protect. And he failed.

Suddenly feeling very small, Gene swallows. *

... S'it that obvious...?
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*... so he... the vampire... was right.

An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of Sam's stomach. Was Gene being obvious? Maybe. Sam can't tell. He doesn't think Gene acted any differently, apart from those couple of slip-ups - but he realises suddenly that he didn't draw on those. What helped Sam figure it out was the beat of Gene's heart; those minute twitches of his fingers, his eyes; and... and a sense for drawing out the information he needs.

And Sam is self-aware enough to recogise that this sense for manipulation is new.

Looking at Gene, sitting next to him with a body language that screams 'defeated', Sam can't help a sense of horror creeping up on him.

He turns away, clearing his throat before saying*

... it's not. And you, uh, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. S'none of my business.
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Gene Hunt
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*None of Sam's business? Technically that's right, really. But now that they've started, it'd feel odd to leave him hanging. Gene hasn't spoken about this before - not in the context of vampires anyway, and how things really went down. There was nobody else to talk to. And now that dark, frightening box at the back of his mind has started to open, Gene isn't sure he wants to take on the fight it'd take to close it again.

There's nobody else he can talk to about this. And Sam genuinely wants to know. If nothing else, he might get some useful information out of it...

... And now that he's come this far, he can't say nothing. His heart is overflowing already, and the admission spills from his lips before he can stop them.*

.... Was my brother.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*At first, Sam doesn't even react, Gene's quiet words catching him so off guard that he almost doesn't register them.

A second later, however. Sam's eyes widen, and he looks over at Gene abruptly.

His... brother?

But... Gene had told Sam about his brother.

A different kind of cold washes across Sam as he stares at Gene.*

... you... you said he died of an overdose.

*But even as he says it, Sam realises that isn't strictly true - all Gene said was that Stu had been a drug addict, and that when Gene found him, it had been too late......*
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene shakes his head. He'd had to be intentionally vague when explaining what happened. And he does blame the drugs. What happened would have never have played out had Stu not been spending his nights on the streets high as a kite. So yes, the drugs did help kill him. But that's not the whole story.*

Wasn't what killed 'im. Was what made him a target, though... So I s'pose you could say the drugs were an incentive ... Just not the actual weapon.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam is speechless for a moment. The vampire's instinct had told him Gene lost someone close, but this...

Shit...

Sam doesn't know what to say, so he silently waits for Gene to continue - if he wants to. He doesn't want to force something like this from his... his fried.*
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Gene Hunt
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Mmmh.

*Gene stays stoic for a moment longer, trying to work out what to tell Sam. Whether to even tell him at all. But now that Sam knows who was taken from him, he can't stop, can he. He needs to at least elaborate a little. And selfishly, Gene can feel that talking about it is theraputic for him. This is something he's had to deal with for too long, always alone. And if anyone can understand even a little of this, it's Sam.

He sighs.*

... Stu tried to tell me. When I went to see 'im, he was coming up with all these stories of the boogeyman in the dark. Creatures that crept out at night and gobbled up people like they're Happy Meals on legs. Said a few of his druggie mates had been taken, even.

*He frowns. If only he'd listened. If only he'd known.*

... But what're you s'posed to think? When you've got a bloke who's so doped up on loo cleaner and god knows what other poison that he's seein' fairies one minute and his face is melting off the next!?
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Jesus... Sam's eyes are on Gene, unable to look away.

If it was anyone other Gene telling this story, Sam wouldn't have believed a word. But it's Gene. And... well, Sam is painfully aware now that Stu's stories weren't just drug-induced. And on some level, it makes sense that vampires would target drug addicts, if they wanted to remain stealthy - those puncture wounds are probably easy to disguise next to the ones caused by needles...

But of course Gene wouldn't have believed it. Why should he?

Sam nods, muttering hoarsely*

'course.
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Gene Hunt
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*the fact that Sam's listening so intently makes it both harder and easier to continue - someone's finally listening... But it's hard to get the words out, especially when each one seems to sharpen the memory he's pushed away for so long.*

So I left 'im. Didn't believe a word.

And when I came back a few days later....

*he pauses there, the images racing through his head like a morbid slideshow*
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*The pause hangs heavy between them. Sam doesn't move, sitting absolutely still.

They must've killed Stu. Fed on him and left him there for Gene to find.

Sam doesn't dare to speak up. Gene looks like he's completely lost in the memories now, and Sam wants nothing more than to pull him out of it, to stop Gene from torturing himself with those images - but at the same time, it feels as though one wrong word would cause him to shatter. So Sam remains silent.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Sam isn't saying anything. So Gene continues, assuming he's just waiting for him to carry on. Maybe he doesn't want to interrupt Gene's flow, or maybe this sudden show of emotion is just too much. Maybe he's showing too much weakness and Sam's taken aback.

He won't know until he finishes, anyway...*

...When I came back... I found him fang-deep in his mate's neck, crouched over the body like some kind of crazed alley cat. Blood everywhere.

*Gene twitches, his nose wrinkling as he remembers the smell of it. The dirty alleyway, puddles of blood, the stench of death...*

And when he saw me... He laughed.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*If Sam still had a beating heart, it would have stopped at Gene's words.

His eyes widen. Suddenly, Sam realises that it wasn't that he had feared Stu was killed - he had hoped for it. Because the alternative... Is that hellishly image Gene is describing.

And Sam feels something stirring within him.

Unable to find his voice, all Sam can do is stare at Gene, utterly horrified.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Sam's silent again. Gene can feel him, though. Staring. Shocked.

Trying to ignore how his insides are twisting at the memory, Gene carries on, throat hoarse.*

I wasn't there to stop him. To keep him from losing it. He'd killed someone as soon as he'd turned.

*I wasn't able to do for him what I'm trying to do for you.*

So of course he taunted me, threw truths at me I wished were lies... And then he went for me. Like a bloody wild animal.

*He takes a breath before murmuring something he's barely even let himself think before, let alone speak out loud.*

By all means he should have been able to turn me into dog food within seconds. For me to win... To have time to grab a bit of broken crate and defend myself... Something must've been holding him back, just a little bit...
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam's throat closes up as Gene continues. This... this is........

Suddenly, what happened a few nights ago makes so much more sense. Why Gene insisted they try it, why he refused to kill Sam even when he asked for it... why Gene didn't kill him in the first place, when he still had the chance.

He couldn't bear to lose someone else close to him in this way...

But Jesus Christ, how Gene managed to defend himself in that situation in the first place-- to cope with it--

Sam's head is spinning, trying to comprehend it all, and to fight back the visuals. He can feel a darkness creeping up on him, trying to twist him, trying to take over-- but he can't let it, not this time. This is his moment with Gene, and he absolutely cannot let the vampire break into this, not when Gene is sat next to him, his voice breaking up. The emotions, even though Gene's face is unreadable, are radiating off him like an aura, so much so that it feels like Sam is going to suffocate if this goes on for much longer.

After what feels like an eternity, Sam manages to force words out - though truthfully, there is nothing he can say.*

..... Gene, I..... I-I'm sorry.

*It sounds like a platitude, but... there is nothing else Sam can offer Gene. Not with how he's ended up, the embodiment of what probably was Gene's worst nightmare, after he found Stu.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene takes a long breath, deeply appreciative of Sam's words. He knows there's nothing else Sam can really say, at least the first thing after hearing this. And that he sounds so stricken... It's validating, in a way. What he was faced with was truly horrific.*

... I had to kill 'im, you know? Didn't even know it was wood that did it. But he landed on me, I had that bit of crate... And it just happened.

*He raises his head finally, meeting Sam's eyes, his own swimming in sadness.*

It took him over. When I looked in his eyes... There was nothing of him left.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*...

Sam's never seen Gene like this before. His expression, his eyes -- suddenly, it's all out there in the open, and for once, it's not to do with the vampire's senses. This is just Gene, having bared himself to Sam in this way.

And once again Sam is cruelly reminded of the fact that Gene had to live through the same thing only a few nights ago. That he keeps having to live with the fear that one day, Sam might... be taken over the same way Stu was.

Sam is caught in Gene's gaze, unable to look away. His own eyes are wide, his expression reflecting the emotional turmoil within him. He has nothing but sympathy and sorrow for Gene.*
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Gene Hunt
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*his insides thumming with sadness, Gene breaks Sam's gaze and looks down at his hands again. Somehow Sam got him to open up. And while it hurts, it was probably good to get it out. And for Sam to hear it. But that doesn't change the fact that it's all back on the surface again now, and that Sam managed to coax it out of him eventually. The vampire must be ecstatic.*

So there y'go. That answer your question?
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam's eyes follow Gene's movements, taking in Gene's posture, radiating grief. He didn't want this. He didn't want Gene to have to open up a wound like this. And while he's grateful that Gene trusted him enough, in the end, to tell the story, Sam finds himself wishing he'd never asked in the first place.

Together with his own predicament, it's almost too heavy a burden. And Sam hates himself for it, because he knows Gene has to live with it as well.

Finally, Sam nods, looking away as well. He can't bring himself to speak up.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene can sense he's made Sam feel awkward, and he didn't want that at all. But it feels like a relief to get it out in the open. Like it's been building inside him for too long, and that bubble needed to burst. Not pleasant by any means, but necessary.*

... I'm tellin' you this so you know why I'm doing what I'm doing. Keeping you clean. Might seem cruel, to the vampire. But those are my reasons. Understand?
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam nods again, half feeling like a scolded school boy. He knew from the get-go that Gene had his reasons, and that he mostly knew what he was doing... And knowing that he didn't want to let Sam go causes a glimmer of something - it could almost be warmth, if it wasn't for that core of ice within him.

And Sam fully understands that Gene didn't want to go through the same gruelling, traumatic scene again. It's not something Sam would have wanted for him either.

However... There is something else, niggling at Sam. Before he can stop himself, his voice quiet and rough, he murmurs*

... If your brother was still in there, you did him a favour. In the end.
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Gene Hunt
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Did I?

*Gene can't be sure. After all, Sam's still here, and he seems to be fully aware still. Yes, the vampires still inside him, but Sam is himself. Maybe if he'd subdued Stu, taken him home and forced him to go through detox... Would the vampire have withdrawn? He'll never know now.*
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam nods once more, with more determination this time.,even though his voice takes on a slightly darker note*

He would've killed you. Do you think he'd have wanted to live with that?

*And this... This isn't life. With every limitation Sam discovers, every nugget of information Gene feeds him... Sam has been trying to hold onto a semblance of normality, but it's all slipping away.

And now this... The knowledge that Gene keeping him alive went against everything he's been doing and believing in for the last ten years... And for what? Maybe Gene too is clinging onto something that doesn't exist.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene shrugs. From how Stu looked that night, he's pretty sure he wouldn't have felt an inch of remorse. It wasn't like with Sam. He'd killed someone already. He'd surrendered to the darkness completely. If Stu had killed him, he'd probably have enjoyed every second of it.*

He'd given in, Sam. He'd embraced it. Don't think there was anything left in him capable of regret.

So you can't make the same mistake he did. Alright? You don't give in to it.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam grits his teeth, staring down at his lap. Gene says that... and maybe it's true. Maybe Stu was gone.

But that makes Sam's own position all the more terrifying.

He's lost so much. After all that, the fact that he could so easily lose his sense of self as well... and do something he'd regret forever... Jesus.

Gene's words are probably meant to be encouraging, but they leave Sam with a sensation of pressure, closing in on him bit by bit.

He needs to stop thinking about it. Now.

Quietly, Sam murmurs*

... what happened after?
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Gene Hunt
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*Sam suddenly seems unreadable. Gene can't be sure he's gotten through to him, though he sorely hopes he has.

In answer to Sam's question, Gene shrugs.*

Was in shock, wasn't I. Didn't know whether I was going mad or what. Eventually did some research, found out what Stu had become and vowed never to let another monster kill another innocent person in that way.

*he looks at Sam sadly, an apology in his stare. If only he'd known what was going to happen. If only he'd warned Sam, brought him in on the loop... Maybe if he'd managed to kill more vampires the one that got Sam wouldn't have been around... *

Looks like I've failed on that count.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam looks up and over at Gene abruptly, caught off guard by that last comment. For a moment he doesn't even understand what Gene is referring to - but then he remembers. Sam did die, after all.

And now here they are... and Gene is blaming himself.

Sam doesn't know how to deal with that. His instinct tells him to reach out, put his hand on Gene's, but that's impossible. Since that hug a couple of days ago, they haven't had any physical contact. Sam's had himself more or less under control, but still - the risk is too high.

And especially now, after this story... knowing what Gene already lost because of vampires... Somehow, Sam doesn't think that he'd want to be touched by a vampire at this very moment.

So Sam looks away again, running a hand through his hair before settling them both back in his lap, fingers interlacing and squeezing together. He can't offer Gene comfort, not the way he is now. An embodiment of Gene's failure.

Sam exhales, closing his eyes for a moment. Then, he says*

... thank you. For telling me.
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene lets out a slow breath of his own. At least Sam knows now. At least he's aware. Aware of what brought them to this point, and aware of what he could still lose. Aware of what Gene's trying to do. To preserve him, to keep him himself.*

S'pose it had to come out eventually. S'almost a relief to say it out loud, to be honest.

Anyone else'd think I was nuts.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam lets out a little huff at this - viewed in that light, Sam was indeed the perfect person to entrust with this story. He has experience with "being nuts", after all. He knows what it's like to have no one believe what he's saying.

Under his breath he says*

Welcome to the club.

*But really, he's grateful for Gene's trust. Sam was afraid that he vampire had a hand in drawing this information out of Gene... But it seems that Gene did it of his own free will after all. That's a relief.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene snorts in response before straightening up and clapping a hand softly on Sams shoulder. He needs to pull himself together now. He pats it, a gentle but still manly acknowledgement, and then pulls away.*

You know nobody else knows about this, right? Not just Stu - everything?
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam looks over at Gene when his hand lands on his shoulder, eyes widening with surprise. As ever, the touch is warm, almost hot, radiating through him. He doesn't want it to end.

But it does, of course, and the cold settles back in.

Sam remains silent for a few seconds, eyes on Gene. His voice is soft when he speaks.*

... you've been doing this on your own?
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene blinks. Sam seriously think he's had help? The idea seems so alien to Gene he can't even imagine it.*

'Course. S'not like me and Carling run around at night like Batman and Robin. Vamps keep 'emselves pretty well in the shadows when hunting. They're pretty good at going unnoticed.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*... Christ. All these years, Gene's been on his own. Hunting vampires along with being a police officer - a DCI, no less. No one to rely on, no one to confide in...

The words are out before Sam knows it.*

You could've told me.
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene could laugh in disbelief. Tell Sam? Before all this?*

Oh yeah, and how would you have reacted, eh? "Oh by the way Gladys, you might not know this but I'm a DCI by day and Van Helsing by night. Wanna come slay some creatures of the night with me, then go bet at the werewolf racing 'til dawn?"
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Sam Tyler
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I--

*Sam breaks off, wordlessly staring back at Gene.

I'm a comatose time traveller from the future.

He can't say it. Even now, with everything that's happened, and Gene trusting him enough to confide in Sam - even then, he can't say it.

Sam deflates a little and looks away, running a hand through his hair helplessly.*

.......... you're right. 'Course you are.
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Gene Hunt
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Exactly. I'm always right.

*with a hint more lightheartedness in the air, Gene looks at Sam once again.*

Alright, then?
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam glances over at Gene, and after a moment's hesitation, nods.*

...yeah.

*again he hesitates, before quietly adding*

You?
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Gene Hunt
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Mhm.

*It's not a complete yes, but it's the truth. Things are so messed up, and yet they don't seem completely bleak. It feels as though they're both in a limbo. Like they both still don't know how life's going to go from now on. And with all this Stu stuff stirred up again, it's hard to see the light. But they'll get through it. They have to.

Gene gives Sams shoulder one last pat and leaves him alone for a while. Brings him more blood at regular intervals and makes sure he's okay. They need to get those urges under control properly - it won't be long before they're both expected to go back to work, and they need things sorted by then.*
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Sam Tyler
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*Sam goes quiet after their conversation, doesn't say much for the rest of the day. It's not that he wants to close himself off, but there's just too much to think about and process.

Most of all, he can't help but imagine what Gene must see in him now. A chance to redeem himself, maybe? And surely, all of the things he failed to do for Stu. And all those aspects of vampires that he hates. Sam sees it every time Gene brings him the blood and watches him drink. Of course Gene isn't hostile towards him, to the contrary... But some resentment must be there. Sam is convinced if it.

The vampire is convinced of it.

That little voice within his mind, whispering every now and then. It's subtle, and Sam only ever really manages to identify it once or twice, but it's there. It keeps Sam awake, it encourages him to keep his distance.

After everything that's happened, Gene can't love you, it says. Not really. Look at you, you're the embodiment of what it hates. What you are is his second chance, but nothing more than that.

The day passes like this, and the night.

The next morning, they both go about their business as usual - Gene pottering about and providing Sam with blood, while Sam, in an attempt to resist the toxic whispers, works up the courage to move to the living room, stretching himself out on the sofa. He's still huddled in his blanket, but at least he's downstairs. Daytime telly in the 70s is as shit as it is in 2006, but it keeps him distracted, and that's all he's asking for.

Until, a bit after noon, the doorbell rings.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene tries to give Sam his space - tries not to hover, to keep checking in on him. But it's tricky. It's going to take a long time before Gene's confident that Sam's not going to suddenly disappear and leave the vampire inhabiting his shell. He'll be having nightmares about that, for sure. But by the time noon rolls around, Gene's joined Sam in the lounge, sat down for a hopefully uneventful afternoon.

Though there goes the bell.

Who the hell is that!?

Gene looks at Sam in quiet alarm, mentally pleading with him not to let the vampire loose.*

Stay here. Don't move a muscle. Okay?
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Sam Tyler
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*The sound of the doorbell sends a jolt through Sam, and he stares back at Gene with wide eyes. Surely it's just going to be some sort of door-to-door salesman, a nobody, who's going to talk to Gene for a few seconds and then be on their merry way.

Sam tries to tell himself that even as he feels something stirring within him at the prospect of a living, breathing human being that isn't Gene, stood only a few metres away.

He gives a nod, not even thinking to argue that him being upstairs might be safer. If he moves now... Sam isn't sure he'd be able to keep control over himself.*
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*Okay... Sam knows not to move. Hopefully it'll just be the postman or something.

Hoping this only takes a minute, Gene leaves Sam and moves towards the front door, opening it cautiously.

...oh!*

...Cartwright??
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*Sam closes his eyes as Gene leaves, trying to concentrate. He can already hear it, the other person's heartbeat... Fast, nervous... And.......

....familiar.......?

--

On the other side of the door, Annie gives Gene a nervous smile.

"Hello! I, uhm, I thought I'd check on you two!"

She holds out a plastic bag that's weighed down by something that looks like small containers inside.

"Brought you some soup, if you'd like it!"

--

In the living room, Sam has frozen in place, not even breathing.

Annie. Jesus Christ, Annie.*
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*... Uh oh.

Suddenly very aware of Sam in the next room, Gene stutters for a moment. *

You, uh--

... Soup...?
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*"Yeah? Cos you said you'd come down with the flu...?"

Annie's voice falters a little, but she tries to keep her cheer up nonetheless. Gene does look pale, with bags under his eyes... and somewhat worse for wear... Should he really be up? And she'd thought Sam was looking after Gene, but... he's nowhere to be seen...

--

Annie's voice. The beat of Annie's heart. It's as if the sound is growing louder with every passing second, until it even drowns out her voice. It's all Sam is able to hear. And Christ, he can smell her. The soup, smoke (from the station, presumably), her perfume, her....

... her blood.

He doesn't know how it happens, but suddenly, Sam is stood up, having shed the blanket and risen from the settee soundlessly. Annie, Annie, Annie. Sweet Annie, always listening, trying to help, letting him feel her heartbeat that first day--

Sam's eyes are deep red. He takes a step. Stops.*
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*Shit... That's right. He's meant to be ill. He probably looks halfway to death anyway but he's not putting on a convincing show, is he...

He straightens a little, putting just a little roughness into his voice and sniffing before answering.*

Uh, yeah. Yeah, s'a bloody germfest in here. Not sure it's the best place for you to be stepping foot in, to be honest. Or it'll be the three of us in here festering away rather than two.

*seeing her face is a very welcome thing after the weirdness he and Sam have been through, but they're not through it yet. He needs to try and get her to leave. He needs to check on Sam.*
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*Annie blinks.

"Two? Oh-- so Sam's caught it as well now then...?"

Well, that just won't do... two men, one sicker than the other, and probably at each others' throats constantly...

"Is there anything I can help with?"

--

Sam takes another step. And another. Until he's able to see the mirror hung in the hallway... and in that mirror, he sees her. Bright blue eyes, focused on Gene, and... her... neck.....

He can practically see her jugular pulsing away.

Sam bares his fangs in a soundless snarl.*
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*Damn, does she want to come in?? Gene needs to stop this, now. If she comes inside and sees Sam...*

Naah, I think it's best we just sweat this one out for a few days. Contain it, you know. Make sure nobody else gets it. So...

*he extends his hand for the bag, giving her a look he hopes comes across as grateful rather than pleading.*

Cheers for the soup. Should bounce us right back, eh.
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*As Gene extends his hand, Annie reacts almost automatically in handing the bag over to him. It's... odd... it feels almost as though he's trying to get rid of her... but then, that's how it always is, isn't it. Gene's probably embarrassed that he's having to rely on a woman who isn't his wife.

So Annie gives him a little smile. "That's the plan, yeah. Well, tell Sam I said hello, please. And if you need anything else..."

--

Sam can sense that his window of opportunity is closing rapidly, and he gives a low hiss, hands curling into fists before uncurling again, his fingers forming claws as his muscles tense.

And yet, he doesn't move forward. Something is holding him back. Just.*
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Cheers, I'll give you a bell if we start to wither away or something.

And cheers again for the soup.

*he tries to look as grateful as he can before hurriedly closing the door on her. He doesn't want to be rude, especially since she came all the way over here with food - but he has a bad feeling in his gut about Sam...

Worried, he turns back and freezes once Sam comes into view.

His stomach drops.*

.... Sam...?
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*"No problem..."

As the door begins to close, Annie thinks she catches a glimpse of Sam-- but then the door shuts, and they're both out of view.

Huh.

She gazes at the door for one moment longer, before giving a helpless little shrug and turning away, making her way back onto the street.

--

Sam steps around the corner, catching a glimpse of Annie, and he can't help it, he bares his fangs--

But then, she's out of sight, and it's Gene who's in his field of vision. There's red at the edges, his surroundings muted, but Gene himself... he's vivid, almost burning. And his blood, Sam can almost see how it flows through Gene's arteries, little streams beneath the surface of skin... thin, easily breakable skin......

Sam tenses, then lunges forward.*
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*Gene's paralysed with fear for a moment - Sam's there, eyes red as the setting sun, animalistic hunger thrumming through his body...

He didn't plan for this. He's not carrying a cross, not one bigger than his pendant... He has no stake on him, nothing!

He let his guard down. And now Sam's lunging, eyes burning with need.

... Shit...

As Sam propells towards him, Gene backs up in a panic. His back hits his front door, his hands scrabbling for that couple of seconds before Sam'll impact, yanking at his collar desperately to try and free that tiny crucifix - his one and only chance to stall Sam before it's too late--!*
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*Sam's hand is on Gene's shoulder already, grabbing it with near-crushing strength, when the pendant comes into view. Sam flinches back, a hiss escaping him as he turns his head away - the pain was searing the first time he'd seen the tiny cross, but now it more or less feels like he accidentally looked into a bright light.

However, even that little prick of discomfort is enough to pierce through the bloodlust. Sam lets go of Gene, stumbling back a step or two before catching himself, standing there and warily squinting in Gene's direction. His eyes are still red, his fangs long and sharp, but... he's hesitating. Not running, but not attacking again either.*
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*As Sam's fingers clench around his shoulder Gene once again feels it - the sudden mortal terror that comes with knowing he's about to die.

But as he flinches away, raising his arms to try and protect himself...

The assault stops.

Heart hammering, Gene opens his eyes and looks out from behind his arms. Sam's still, watching... And Gene can't tell if he's going to lunge again.

Breathless, Gene speaks.*

Sam... Sam, get a hold of yourself... Okay!?
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*Sam hisses in response, equal parts annoyed and confused. It's tantalising, hearing Gene's heart race, so close. He just needs to reach out, get past that stupid burning thing-- but he can't. He can't do it. Something is holding him back.

Instead, Sam takes another step back, face pulled into a scowl. Something isn't right. Something is trying to take over again, to stop him from getting his meal. It's the hunter's voice, yes, but also... A voice within himself...*
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*oh thank god... It looks like the vampire might be retreating...!

Movements slow, Gene lowers his hands. He's still tense, though. Ready to try and defend himself should he have to.*

That's it...
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*Sam snarls, but it's a token effort more than anything else.

Then, he forces words out past clenched teeth, eyes still burning bright.*

You're a fool, Hunt. Should've finished this farce when you had the chance--!

*Then Sam flinches, squeezing his eyes shut as though he's been hit.

When they open again, they're back to their normal colour, and Sam stares at Gene as though he's just seen a ghost.*
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*the words chill Gene to the core. As though the creature within Sam is mourning the fact that one day it WILL kill Gene. As though it's inevitable.

And then it blinks and Gene has another issue to deal with.

Sam's back. And it looks like he's about to pass out. Shit.*

You...you back...?
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*Sam doesn't respond. He stumbles back a step instead, his heel catching on the landing of the staircase, and he nearly falls-- but manages to catch himself on the bannister, lightning quick.

His thoughts are racing, trying to process what just happened. What he nearly did. His eyes are twitching back and forth between Gene's without really seeing.*
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*ignoring his own receding panic for a moment, Gene focuses on Sam. This doesn't look good.*

'Ey. Sit down, will you? You look like you're about to give up the ghost. Again.
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*Sam shakes his head without realising that he's doing it. Jesus-- how can Gene be so calm, understanding, after what just--!

He nearly--!!

Sam's eyes widen even further, and something in his expression crumbles, breaks. Without a word Sam turns and makes his way up the stairs, almost stumbling. His limbs are shaking, preventing him from moving as fast as he normally would, but he still closes the distance to Gene's bedroom quickly, disappearing into it.*
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*alarmed, Gene curses to himself.*

Shit.

*his own limbs feeling somewhat numb, Gene follows as quickly as he can, scaling the stairs and heading for the bedroom.*
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*By the time Gene reaches the bedroom, Sam has already found what he was looking for. Stood by Gene's bedside table, he grabs the stake he found in the drawer.

The wood feels solid, almost reassuring in his hands, and for the moment, Sam's entire being is focused just on that one object.

He needs to end this. He can't take it anymore. The memory of what Sam felt earlier is thrumming through him - the sound of Annie's heartbeat, and the all-consuming hunger. And then, the utter panic in Gene's eyes.

Sam can't go through all that again.*
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*When Gene makes it to the bedroom, what he sees scares him in a whole different way. Not fear for his own life, but fear for the only other life he values above all else. Sam's there, holding that stake...

He swallows dryly and adjusts his stance, uncomfortable and anxious. He raises a shaking hand to point at Sam in as commanding a way as he can.*

Oi... Put that down, Sam. That's an order.
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*Sam ignores Gene, his eyes glued to the stake. His own hands are shaking as well, though his grip on the wood is tight and unrelenting.

He has to do this. If all he is now is a threat to the people he-- the people he loves--

If this is going to happen every single time--

Sam can't risk it. Going through that kind of pain... He'd rather be dead.

Like he was supposed to be in the first place.

Sam's grip tightens, making the wood creak slightly. Then he lets up slightly, only to change his grip on it, the sharpened tip now point inwards, towards Sam's body.

And he begins to raise his hands up towards his chest.*
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*Oh... Oh god, no...

Gene takes one step forward, his hands raising, palms forward. This can't be happening. He won't let it!*

Sam, don't you dare. Don't you bloody dare!!
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*Sam grits his teeth. He can hear Gene, of course he can, though his voice sounds as thought it's coming from far off. But it won't stop him.*

Shut up.

*He forces the words out, his voice quavering. And even as he speaks, Sam keeps moving his hands. The tip of the stake gently touches his shirt, right where his heart is supposed to be.

Sam is taking aim.*
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*Oh god, oh god... This can't be happening. Not after everything!*

Sam... Stop what you're doing. Th-think about this.

*panic in his voice again, Gene can't help his words coming out rushed and anxious.*

You do this and what happens? Eh? This really the best solution you can think of!?
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Yes.

*Sam's grip on the stake tightens again. He's not looking at Gene, his gaze turned down. Red is mingling with brown again.*

I was going to kill h-her. I was going to kill you. Just like-- just like that.

*He's trembling, he knows he is, but it doesn't matter. He's going to go through with it.*

I do this, and you'll be safe. Safer. Won't have to--

You w-won't have to worry about being stabbed in the back.
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*!!!*

Jesus, Sam! Never mind the back, what about my ruddy heart!? You do this and what am I left with, you bastard!? No DI, a body to clean up...?? You'd leave me like this after what I told you?
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*That does grab Sam's attention. He raises his head, blinking, before turning it to stare over at Gene.

He's talking about Stu... But doesn't Gene understand?! It's for his own good...!! He can't let himself be talked out of this, no matter how much Gene insists....!*

What, you'd rather I bite you and suck you dry?!

*Saying it out loud just hammers the reality of it home that much more, turning Sam's eyes that much more red. His expression, however, remains the same - desperately determined.*

Youre not thinking straight, you're trying to make up for what happened to Stu, and I-- I'm sorry.

*His expression almost crumples then, and Sam squeezes his eyes shut. His knuckles stand out sharply against his skin as he moves the stake away from his body... Ready to do it. Ready to drive it home.*
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Sorry!? You can't be that bloody sorry!

*Gene can't let him do this. What Sam says about Stu, there may be some truth to that... But it's not the whole truth. And it hurts that Sam might think it is.*

You do this, and... And I'll never bloody forgive you, you hear me!? After everything I've done, everything I've done for you, you'd throw it back in my face?!

*Gene can't help it. He's desperate now. If Sam does this...

He just can't.*
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*... Everything Gene did for him?

Sam opens his eyes again - they're red. This-- no. No. Gene doesn't get to do this.*

I never-- I never wanted this, Gene. I never asked for any of this, all I ever wanted was to go home. And now I'm-- I'm dead, I'm a menace, I barely know who I am anymore, I'm cold and hurting and barely human, and you-- you could've prevented this!!

*Sam is yelling now.*

You knew this was gonna happen, you could've stopped it, but you didn't, so that, that is what you did for me!!!

*He hasn't lowered the stake, but his grip is so strong now that the wood is starting to bend inwards slightly.*
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*Gene blinks, surprised at the sudden anger. He gets it, Sam's point of view - but he doesn't agree. He clenches his fists and shouts back.*

I saved you! I gave you a chance! A chance to be yourself! I stopped that thing from taking you over! But apparently you're too much of a ruddy coward to finish the damn fight!

*he points at Sam again, fury burning in his eyes.*

I put everything I had into you! And now you want me to watch you die! Well bollocks to that!
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I WANT A CHOICE!!!

*At that last word, desperate anger taking over, Sam can't help it - the energy has been building up and up and up - he launches the stake into the ground, forcefully enough to embed it into the floor with a loud crack.

Sam ignores it.*

I wasn't given a bloody choice in this!! Somebody killed me, somebody set me on you, you let me become a monster!! I'm not your brother, I'm not a charity project, I AM NOT YOUR SECOND CHANCE!!

*Somehow, Sam has ended up right in front of Gene, grabbing his lapels, red eyes blazing, with fury, with tears.*[/i]
Edited by Sam Tyler, Sep 30 2017, 12:08 AM.
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*Gene doesn't even react as Sam grabs his lapels, despite the red in his eyes - this is Sam talking, not the vampire. And if Sam's going to end his life anyway, what does anything matter? He's failed once, what's another failure on top? If he can't save anyone, what's the point? May as well do the same bloody thing.

Suddenly, Gene finds himself choked up. Words don't come. Eyes shining and his chest heaving, he stares back at Sam, whole body tense. And though his emotions are clear in the beat of his heart and the clenching of his jaw, Gene keeps his head up defiantly. Sam's won in his argument, it seems. But Gene won't give him his blessing. If Sam wants to go ahead and stake himself, Gene's going to stop him even if it kills him.*
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*Sam is just as tense, his involuntary strength already causing the fabric of Gene's shirt to rip where he's grabbing onto it. A moment of stillness, Sam's eyes boring into Gene's, before he lets go suddenly - pushing Gene away even, while stepping back. His hands are still shaking, testament to the storm of emotions swirling within Sam.

But that look in Gene's eyes... Why isn't he saying anything? His heart is beating like it's about to burst right through his ribcage, blood rushing, but suddenly, he's gone quiet. It unnerved Sam, leaves him feeling like he's lost.

Sam doesn't move, glaring in Gene's direction. The silence, along with the glimmer in Gene's eyes, has thrown him off, for the moment at least.*
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*Gene stumbles back a step as Sam pushes him, catching himself quickly. He can't let Sam see him weak like this. He stands up tall, glaring right back with intensity. He remembers this with Stu. The arguing. The fighting, only for them to storm off in separate directions and then Stu doing exactly what they were fighting about anyway.

Well Gene's learned that lesson. He's not about to leave this time. Sam can hate him all he wants. It hurts to think that might be the case (Sam pretty much implied it - he blamed Gene for him being like this after all) but if that's how Sam feels it changes nothing. Gene doesn't regret not staking Sam, not for a second.

So he stares back, motionless and his voice flat and resigned.*

No, you're not my second chance. You're my best mate. More than that.

So can hate my guts all you want. But I'm not letting you do it.
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*A muscles in Sam's face twitches. Gene is still insisting...

With a shaking hand, Sam points down to where the front door is, his voice quieter again, and hoarse.*

I. Almost killed. Annie. Not because of some grudge, or even because I felt particularly hungry, but because she was there.

And then, you.

This isn't-- I can't--

*Sam struggles for words, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opens them again, they're still red and sharp, but there's also something strangely vulnerable in them.*

... Don't call me a coward for not wanting to kill those that mean something to me. It's inevitable.
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*Gene shakes his head, teeth gritted.*

No, it's not. I'm talking to both of you right now, you and the vampire. It's not inevitable. Not if you try. If it's that important to you, you'll goddamn try.
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*Sam doesn't know how to respond to that.

He-- he has been trying. For God's sake, he has been. But it all means nothing if just one whiff of someone who isn't Gene set him off like this.

... And even after all this, Gene won't give up on him?

When Sam speaks next, the words come out haltingly.*

... You kill us. This should be a victory for you.

So...

....... Why...?

*Why won't he let Sam go...? He said something earlier, it slipped out, but... Surely it can't be...*
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*Gene shakes his head again, breathing heavily.*

I kill vampires.

You're not one.

You're my best mate, I already told you. You're the only one who--

*He swallows, trying hard not to lose it.*

You're the only one I don't feel lonely around. I've told you things I've not even told my wife, for God's sake! You're a pain in the arse, but... Jesus, if you were gone... Don't even make me think it.

*exasperated, Gene slumps a little.*

So you ask me why?

Christ. Don't make me say it, Sam. I... I can't.
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...

*Sam doesn't have words. This isn't... This should be impossible. Him and Gene, now, like this. It's all so improbable that his mind hasn't stopped reeling for the last few days.

Yes, Sam helped Gene get out of that murder charge. And they trust each other.

But this... This is something entirely different.

It's not just that Gene can't bring himself to finish Sam off himself... He doesn't want Sam gone, period.

The silence stretches on, the only sound in the room Gene's heavy breathing.

Slowly, Sam's eyes dade back to brown, dull in comparison to the bright scarlet.

Finally he averts his gaze, lowering his head and closing his eyes for a moment. Then, he raises his hand and presses his fingers against his eyes for a moment, as though fighting an oncoming headache.

When he lowers his hand again, eyes trained at the ground, Sam mutters*

... I don't hate you.

*All the earlier fight, the desperate energy, is gone, drained right out of him.*
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*Gene watches anxiously as Sam's eyes slowly drain of red, the familiar warm brown returning. Gene's heartbeat jumps in response - good, good... That means Sam's calmed down... Right?

As he speaks, it seems it. But the defeat in his tone is worrying still.

And his actual words... Gene watches Sam's expression closely, that small pang of hurt still present.*

.... Okay.

And you know I don't hate you, or I'd have staked you as soon as I saw you. Vampire or not.

*He keeps his gaze hard, still determined to protect Sam should this just be a bluff... But he can't help feeling stung still. What Sam said about Stu... Did he really mean it? He think Gene only did this because he's trying to make Sam Stu mark 2?*
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*Sam looks up, then lowers his gaze again to nod. He knows that, of course he does. And now, the thought of what Sam was about to do...

Suddenly, he feels quite weak.

Sam takes a step back, then stumbles as his heel hits something - the stake stuck in the floor. A moment later, he's sat down on Gene's bed, face in his hands.*
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*Gene flinches as Sam trips - but before he can react Sam's already on the bed, head in his hands.

Shit... What a mess.

He watches a few moments before stepping forward and pausing in front of Sam. Then he bends, his hands gripping the stake and pulling it free with effort.

He tucks it into his belt, well out of Sam's reach. A statement. Gene isn't letting Sam near any stakes, not now, not ever.*

Promise me you won't pull that shit again.
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*When Sam looks up this time, his eyes are red-rimmed and leaking tears. His gaze slides down to where Gene's tucked the stake away, then he looks away and nods again, remaining silent. He doesn't trust himself right now - with anything.

It's too much, all of this. For a bizarre few seconds, Sam feels like he's not actually within his body but standing next to it, looking down at what he's become. A shadow of himself, a confused, homicidal and suicidal maniac. A monster.

And still Gene believes in him. Even after this.

Sam buries his face in his hands once more, unable to face Gene.*
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*That nod. It's an answer, but it's not good enough. Gene knows Sam. He needs a verbal answer.*

Say it.

*He needs Sam to speak. To tell Gene face to face that he won't be doing this again.*
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Gladys
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*Sam flinches, then inhales shakily, lowering his hands for a moment.*

.... S-sorry. M'sorry. I... I promise. Jesus christ, m'sorry...!

*Sam's voice breaks on those last few words. He lowers his head further, starts curling up slightly, shoulders beginning to visibly shake.*
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Gene Hunt
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*'Sorry'? After what he said about Stu, after he used what Gene told him in confidence as a weapon, Gene knows Sam's right to apologise. But he doesn't think that's what Sam's apologising for exactly. It sounds like hes apologising for the stake. Which is good as it means he must regret it? But at the same time... It's not what Gene asked for. He asked for a promise.

But Sam makes such a sad picture, he can't be too harsh. At least not until he's got his answer.*

Don't apologise. Not for that. I get it. You're desperate, you're scared. You need help. And I'm here for that. Okay? M'not going anywhere.

But you do have to promise me. That you won't do this again. I need to know, Sam.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*It takes Sam a few moments before he manages a nod. He doesn't look, but after a silent sob, he whispers through his tears*

I p-promise. I promise. M'sorry... I shouldn't-- shouldn't 'ave said those-- things--

*He breaks off, too overwhelmed to continue. Sam doesn't know up from down anymore, right from wrong. All he wanted to do was go home, leave all this behind, but in that moment... It didn't seem like the right thing to do after all. And it's left Sam feeling utterly lost, even with Gene by his side.*
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Gene Hunt
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*the sight Sam makes breaks Gene's heart. But that promise, it's spoken aloud properly now. Gene has to trust him. He sighs, his own emotions spiralling.

Gene drops onto the bed, rubbing his hand over his face. Okay. Okay, so... What now? Sam's under control... He'll have to stay here with him. He can't let Sam out of his sight now. Not for a few hours.*

Shh. Get some rest. Okay? I'll sit 'ere for a bit. Just calm yourself down.
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam doesn't respond, curled into himself with his hands buried in his hair, body shaking as he sheds tears of shock, of panic. He can't calm down. Even despite his promise the fact remains that he could have killed both Annie and Gene, and it was pure luck that prevented him from doing it.

And after that, he was ready to kill himself.

All of that, taken together, scares him shitless.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Sam seems to have completely gone into himself. He's retreated, traumatised. And Gene hates to see it. It's dreadful. And of course Gene can never really understand how Sam's feeling... But he's going to do his best anyway. He has to. Sam isn't going to hurt anyone. Not on Genes watch.

Silently, Gene sighs and drops his own head into his hands, quietly sitting with Sam to provide some kind of comfort. It's all he can do.*
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam can't tell how much time passes, but at some point, his tears run dry, and he's left with a faint tremor in his hands, feeling utterly drained. Drained to the point, in fact, where it's become an aching need.

Oh Christ.

Sam lowers his hands slowly, curling them into tight fists in his lap, but remains hunched over. Quietly, his voice sounding strangely muffled, he stammers*

I-I need blood. Now. Please.

*It's the first time Sam asked for it first, without Gene prompting him.*
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene waits with Sam until he's all cried out, but despite the man's tiredness, the request comes as a surprise. He shouldn't be shocked, really - Sam must be starving after that. But for him to ask on his own? That's... A positive thing, surely...?*

Alright. Gimme a mo.

*exhausted himself, Gene pushes himself up off the bed and leaves. He's back after a minute or two, a blood bag in his hand.

Silently, he extends it to Sam.*
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*As soon as Gene gets up, Sam realises how comforting his presence really was. He feels Gene's absence acutely now, his mind beginning to spiral once more. Unlike before, however, Sam remembers what to do. He wraps his arms around himself, screwing his eyes shut and beginning to mutter - reciting the handbook of policing, starting at Rule 56.

It keeps him distracted. It keeps him sane, right up until the moment Gene enters the room again, and the smell of animal blood catches his attention.

Sam looks up at Gene, then down at the bag. Without hesitation, Sam uncurls and reaches out to take it off Gene, careful not to make contact with his skin.

Sam understands now. If he doesn't drink this blood, then something like earlier is too likely to happen again. If ending it all isn't an option, then this is all Sam has.

So Sam bites into the bag and begins to drink. It won't be enough, he knows it. And indeed, even with the last drop drained from the plastic, Sam craves more. Holding onto the now empty bag, he doesn't look up as he mutters*

... one more.
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene sighs. Sam's hungry, it can't be helped. So he turns and brings another bag, holding it out to him along with some kitchen roll. He'll probably need it.*
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Sam Tyler
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Gladys
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*Sam keeps his hold on the empty blood bag until Gene returns, as though it's some kind of anchor. He takes both the new bag and the kitchen roll with a muttered thanks, then proceeds to drink. Gene probably can't see it, but Sam's eyes are a dull red, fading back to their normal colour as the last of the blood slides down his throat.

The kitchen roll is greatly appreciated at this moment - it gives Sam a better grasp on his humanity, although he still can't resist the temptation to at least lick his fingers.

Once he's cleaned his hands, it takes Sam a good few seconds before he's able to muster the courage to look up and Gene in the eye. He doesn't know what he'll find there... and that scares him. Though if Gene is now more suspicious of Sam than ever before... Sam wouldn't blame him.

Before Gene can say anything, Sam says once again, voice quiet and filled with regret*

... I'm sorry. I didn't... ... ...

*Sam shakes his head weakly.*

I-I panicked.
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Gene Hunt
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*Gene pauses, taking that in. He's apologising again. And though Gene knows it's needed, the fact that Sam needs to apologise at all feels so wrong. And of course Sam panicked. Anyone would.

Sudden helplessness spikes through Gene's heart. He may have calmed Sam down and stopped any attack from taking place, but he wasn't able to spare Sam the hell of sinking into that darkness again. All he can do is hope that eventually he's gotten Sam to a place where he can fight it off on his own.

Gene shrugs, brushing it off as best as he can.*

Can see that.

.... We have to work on keeping that thing at bay. S'there anything that'd help you fight it off?
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