| English Subtle Knife | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 2 2012, 06:28 PM (102 Views) | |
| TeeZee | Feb 2 2012, 06:28 PM Post #1 |
|
Administrator
|
Is anyone else here hard-pressed on finding ideas for the English assignment, or having problem even finding what it is? Mr Fitzgerald said he would be talking about the assignment on Monday. I think it'll be a imaginative narrative about part of the Subtle Knife in chapter 1-6 So I think it'll be a good idea to pool our assignment ideas for when we need them. Also any other things like tips on the writer's style of suspense, etc. Post your ideas below and I will add them to the list. List of Current Ideas: - Cutting Daemons Away - The Spectres Other Tips - Phillip Pullman's Style is very different to every other style ( smaller hitting suspense? ) |
![]() |
|
| havep9 | Feb 14 2012, 06:22 PM Post #2 |
|
The Subtle Knife- Imaginative narrative The Truth Thinking only to defend Lyra, with the hope of the mystery object as a possible form of protection, Lee departed intent on finding the elusive ‘Jopari’. He rigged his balloon, bid farewell to the witches, and flew off into the heavens. *** Suddenly a gust of wind threw the balloon backwards; he stumbled and then grabbed a rope. He shouted “I have to get it down!” Hester looked at him and nodded. He grimaced and carefully guiding the balloon to the ground far below. *** As soon as he had inspected the damage to his balloon he started a fire and fell asleep. Several hours later, he awoke after he thought he heard branches snapping. He dismissed it as background noise. He lay back down and heard a shout and a grunt he sat up in panic, only to hit the ground again as he was clubbed over his head. *** He awoke in front of a fire tied to five others with ropes. He finally realised, it was the Tartars who had captured him. As he began to take interest in his surroundings, he saw that one of his fellow prisoners was being dragged off to a large piece of stone, covered in a red liquid- blood. With growing alarm he grasped what the Tartars where doing, sacrificing prisoners. As the prisoner died one of the Tartars spoke several words, “Today, one of our young, will receive enlightenment, he will have the gods in his head. Other, lesser races know this as trepanning; we simply know it as the Gods’ Will.” After this speech a solemn faced youth was ushered forward and the oldest of the Tartars took a long metal chisel- like instrument and knocked the youth unconscious. With a horrified curiosity he watched as the Tartars drilled a hole in the boy’s skull. All of a sudden Lee heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw a Tartar coming towards him. He shook like a leaf and promptly fell over on his back. The Tartar laughed and crouched down next-to him and whispered “That’s right, you be afraid.” Lee felt a knock on his skull and murmured, “Not again.” *** Lee woke up in the deep of the night, and despite a pounding headache, took out the knife he had stolen from the Tartar who had knocked him out, sawed through his bonds and slipped away from the fire. He took his balloon from behind one of the sleeping sentries and filled it with hot air and took off, Hester with him. To his amazement one of the Tartars chose that exact moment to wake so he lunged towards his weapon rack, grabbed his silenced rifle and shot him expertly through the eye. Several hours later he spotted the village just below the mysterious ‘Jopari’s’ hut and descended slowly to the ground. This is my reflection Reflection I chose to write my extra ‘chapter’ to the subtle Knife from Lee Scoresby’s point of view because I felt that there was no part in the book about his journey. I thought that this would be an ideal time for him to discover more about Stanislaus Grumman. So, as he was a Tartar by adoption, I decided that we would learn about ‘trepanning’ as this had happened to Grumman. The techniques of suspense I used that were the same as what Philip Pullman uses are; 1. the build-up to a climax within each chapter, the complication (a storm), a conflict (being captured by Tartars) and a resolution (escaping by balloon) 2. the use of direct and commanding speech 3. the element of the unknown (that it was Tartars who had captured him)¬¬¬¬¬¬ 4. ‘show not tell’ 5. not mentioning some facts (that Lee stole a knife) this meant that the reader had no idea Lee had any chance of escaping, creating suspense Edited by havep9, Feb 16 2012, 06:49 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| TeeZee | Feb 14 2012, 07:48 PM Post #3 |
|
Administrator
|
First Sentence: Used hope twice, and spelled bid wrong. "Thinking only to defend Lyra, and with the hope of the mystery object..." and so forth Second sentence: All tell no show. Try to do something like "Suddenly a violent gust of wind blew his balloon southbound. The sky flashed, and Lee immediately knew he had entered a storm." Third Sentence: All good, but the end. Add more suspense, and show it more. "As Lee closed his eyes he heard a loud shout and grunt. Opening his eyes in panic, he glimpsed a Tartar swinging down a club... etc." Fourth Sentence: This is all very good. It is very suspenseful and drew me in. Good job on that. Fifth Sentence: All of the sentences are too straightforward. try to mix things up a bit using Mr Fitzgerald's method. My Story: Please read and point out any errors/boring parts. Spoiler: click to toggle
Edited by TeeZee, Feb 14 2012, 07:49 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| havep9 | Feb 15 2012, 03:43 PM Post #4 |
|
He's Not little thats all I came up with also a bit long... also some of the things you say are a bit overdone, such as 'so here he was' just sounds, sorry to say it LAME Edited by havep9, Feb 15 2012, 03:58 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| TeeZee | Feb 15 2012, 06:04 PM Post #5 |
|
Administrator
|
Here is my shortened story. Exactly 495 words ![]() Panicked, running without a strategy, Will sprinted unseeing down an alley; he was an easy quarry to his pursuers, grim and undeviating. Will knew that he couldn’t keep the chase up for much longer, as his legs were straining themselves past their limits already. Suddenly the sound of a bus horn blasted through the night sky, exposing itself to Will and the pursuers. Spurred by the opportunity to escape, Will launched himself out the alley, looked to the side, and was faced by a strong light, meters away. Will blindly leaped across the road, past the bus, and landed into a second alley. Moments after, a strong pain shot up his leg, making Will gasp for a moment with a horrible realisation; he had reached his limit. Will staggered into a maze of tunnels, hoping to find refuge there. Will held a shattered beer bottle close to his heart, deep inside the maze of tunnels. If anyone found him, he would have no choice but to defend himself. He had killed someone before, so he could do it again. He held the bottle with a false confidence, listening to the distant footsteps of the pursuers. Realizing that they were nowhere near finding him, Will took the time to flick through the letters. Three words seemed to jump out at him, as if wanting to be noticed. As he read those words over and over again, his mind fell deeper into an endless vortex of confusion. His mind was swirling with questions, all of which he could not answer. Was there more than one world? Was his father in another world? Was there really a win- “Boy! We know you got the case!” Snapping out of his trance, Will noticed that the voice was extremely close. Taking the fact as a warning he sprinted out of the alley in panic, using up the little reserve of energy he had left, and entered the first backyard he saw and slid under a bush. With branches of the hedge uncomfortably digging in to his back, Will peeked under the old white picket fence. Will saw one man walking a short distance away from his hiding spot, his black shoes gleaming in the moonlight, and his intimidating blue eyes paired with pale eyebrows scanning the area like a hawk. Hoping that the man wouldn’t come near, Will shifted to the opposite direction and saw nothing but a dull grey house and an untidy back lawn, covered in thriving weeds. In that position Will stayed for the better part of an hour, yet for him it seemed like an eternity. Finally the sound of a bus stole into the silence, and Will decided to break for it. As Will finally reclined safely in the rear of the bus, he looked behind him, and saw the intruder with the pale eyebrows a fair distance away. They locked eyes for a brief moment, before Will looked away and the bus moved on. |
![]() |
|
| havep9 | Feb 16 2012, 06:46 AM Post #6 |
|
Ausome, you also fixed little boy, I think this is really good. one problem is that he doesn't know about windows, so maybe he should read a different one???
Edited by havep9, Feb 16 2012, 06:47 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · Assignments · Next Topic » |







5:02 AM Jul 12
