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The stress of pretense.
Topic Started: Dec 15 2014, 03:25 PM (208 Views)
crow
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My wife said something today that really caught my attention.
She observed that it must be really, really stressful for people to live their entire lives acting-out being something that they weren't.
As in: nice, liberal, caring, egalitarian, champions of diversity, supporters of homosexuality, real big on islamism, feminism, etc...

Well, yes. Imagine that. Imagine living a life in which what you are must never, ever be expressed, and instead, you must always appear to be what you are not.
It's no wonder that at the first hint of disagreement about some minor thing, a hate-filled monster comes bursting out.

"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
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SorenL
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Family Man
A very interesting observation, for sure. I have noticed this as well.

People tend to forcefully push what they perceive (or what is socially perceived) as negative out of their own conception of I-dentity:

I am a good guy = I will only allow myself to identify with what's commonly perceived as good.

And so, before they know it, their 'outside' world appears to be filled to the brim with all the bad, that they cannot allow into (their own thoughts of) themselves.

'The bad' is compulsively projected onto everything and everyone, that doesn't play the game like people mostly do: Everyone who doesn't actively define themselves in terms of the socially accepted good must be evil.
'How could evil exist otherwise?'

If one dares to comment, that all of this has nothing to do with reality, it is perceived as a threat to the common I-dentity = What people perceive as survival.
It is not an actual threat to their lives, or even an attack on them if one questions the common idea of what they perceive to be 'good' - but that doesn't matter, for they'll still feel (and to a certain extent react) as if that was the case.

As a result, all opposition is demonized. It must be destroyed.

It's the very definition of being narrow minded - which is ironic, since it's usually and especially to be observed in people identifying themselves as 'open minded.'
BOKAJDANNANNETTID
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crow
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It seemed to be one of those observations that was too obvious to observe. Like most really profound things.
As soon as she said it, I knew I already knew it, but had never quite become aware of it.
Like a jig-saw puzzle, before it is complete. I had all the pieces, but they didn't make a recognizable picture.

Edited by crow, Dec 16 2014, 11:32 AM.
"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
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SorenL
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Family Man
Another thing, perhaps almost too obvious to be observed... It only occurred to me just now:

A stressful mind is a mind constantly immersed in complexity.
The more complexity, the more thinking there is.
The more thinking, the more complexity multiplies.
...and the world disappears in a mass of minor details, stuffed into a mind unable to conceive of a meaningful whole.

Whereas a relaxed mind knows only simplicity. It doesn't really think.
...and the whole world appears and reappears as a single beautiful whole, again and again, eternally simple.

Relaxed being/Being relaxed: Being what you are, not thinking about it.
Stressed being/Being stressed: Thinking and thinking, not knowing what's thought and what's not.
Edited by SorenL, Dec 16 2014, 12:48 PM.
BOKAJDANNANNETTID
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crow
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That's it. Absolutely. Great stuff, Soren.
"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
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Veronique
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No Hoper
people like complexity because sometime simplity is too much for them to bear. Instead of acknowledging that they are a violent person, they tend to find multiple reasons outside of themselves for their inner violence. It's much easier for the sanity of the normal mind to fear the outsider than to fear the insider.
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SorenL
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Family Man
Modern man is almost purely an outside - an appearance - with close to zero inside: No soul.

Though everybody's born with the theoretical opportunity of developing soul, only very few seize this opportunity. It indeed seems as if many are completely unaware of the opportunity whatsoever...

Only by balancing the inside with the outside does it become possible to experience what transcends 'inside' and 'outside'.

Tensity of mind is complexity, complexity leads to distraction, distraction brings confusion, and confusion is the muddling of inside and outside, soul and ego, real and fake.

Modern people fear to relax, because they fear on missing out on anything - and thus, they ironically end up missing out on everything.

It's almost unbelievably simple.
BOKAJDANNANNETTID
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river-dog
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i think we are taught to compete from the cradle to the grave, be it our job, our cars, our clothes Our income
Or sports, second place is nowhere, divide and conquer. if we united as HUMANITY forgot about colour made up lines drew on a map, geographical boarders, pooling our resources true altruism, this would truly be heaven on earth for ALL. Overcoming our base animal instincts, we might dress them up and call ourselves civilised, but we are only 3 meals away from the animal within.
But until we can ALL see ourselves as part of the oneness of life, and unconditionally love it’s just a beautiful dream. But I believe one person can make a difference and it mightn’t happen today or tomorrow but one day it just ..if enough of us believe and lead by example, maybe lol

B
never STOP loving
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crow
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It's a fine line between 'new-age' and what this forum is about. It's also a vast chasm.
It's also a fine line between balanced sanity and political left-wing madness.

There is no 'we' in such things, only the illusion of it. Humanity doesn't unite.
Maybe one day, somehow, it will, but until then, the individual can only make any useful gesture of altruism by developing his/her own spiritual development.
"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
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