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"Just Breathe"
Topic Started: Jun 23 2015, 05:21 PM (146 Views)
David
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Focused
Sleep will not return,
Breath has abandoned me,
Mind is without cessation,
My heart fears its own destruction...
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crow
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Sounds normal enough to me, for anybody your age, however unpleasant it may be for you.
Are you hoping to modify your internal state, or simply being poetic?

Good to see you posting: I don't remember you, although I see you have a few previous posts.
Perhaps you could enlarge upon your message?
"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
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David
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I am hoping to modify my internal state.
I have doubt, I suppose that begins with myself and radiates from there.
I'm what you would call a trapped intellectual; I cant seem to stop.
Everything feels bearably passive, which as you say is unpleasant.
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crow
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Well, since you don't say much, I won't either. But what I will say deserves some serious contemplation...

1: People operate from assumptions without ever questioning them. These frequently-defective assumptions form their baseline from which all else follows.
2: It Is What It Is. Whatever it is. Contemplation will have you continuing to uncover what that means, years from now.
3: The trick to jumping out of the dark hole: DO NOT try to 'understand' things. Neither agree, nor disagree. If you disagree with truth, you will not know the truth. If you agree with it, you will never explore it to its limits, and so will never know it, either.

Most members here have already shut down their intellects, or are learning how to do it, on demand. This sounds crazy to an intellectual, but intellectualism is actually a form of insanity, since by its nature, it is the default state of intellectuals who have no means of turning it off.

Do you stutter?
Edited by crow, Jun 23 2015, 08:03 PM.
"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
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David
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I've always stuttered internally.
I fear breathing.

Words are failing to escape me, so I've little to say.
I'm grateful for your reply crow.
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crow
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I'm not sure what you mean by internal stuttering. But maybe it is similar to doing it externally, which is something I know a lot about.
Stuttering is a combination of fear, frustration, and placing far too much importance upon other people, and needing them to 'understand' you.
The truth is: almost nobody understands anybody. It only looks like they do. An assumption.

People don't understand themselves, yet expect others to understand them. Unaware that these others don't understand themselves, either.
You can see how sometimes, this could lead to problems.

Sensitive people suffer the most. Many simply don't have the sensitivity to even notice when things go off-track.

Why do you fear breathing? What else do you fear?
"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
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David
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....That's a good question. My nose always seems to be blocked and I dominantly mouth breathe. It causes me pain; I feel I can't control it.....I fear life and death.
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crow
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I frequently have asthma attacks, due to allergies, a narrow nose, years of inhaling epoxy dust and glass fibers, along with sawdust and dust in general. My lungs completely collapsed about a year and a half ago, leaving me completely unable to breathe.
Even after a fun time in hospital, having my lungs stapled up, and becoming addicted to opiates, I still have pretty much shot lungs, and find little oxygen in my breaths.
So I know the panicky feeling of airlessness.

But breath is life. No breath = no life. If there is anything you can do to open up your nose, do it. Then set about de-stressing yourself in any way you can, so your lungs aren't inhibited.

Meanwhile, death awaits, somewhere up ahead, but I can report that death, if entered into free of fear, is the big reward for having lived.
Living is difficult. Very difficult. And likely to become ever more so. But still, if lived in a way that goes as little as possible against Reality, is a wondrous and sublime experience.
Most people, unfortunately, will never experience this. But almost all of them could.

The first step towards such a life is, as you say: Just Breathe.


"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
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