Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Secrets Of Life.
Here you may learn, contribute, and discuss - but not debate - the Mystical Nature of Life.

As a guest, you're limited to certain areas and features. If you would like to become a member, please go to:
http://the-many-secrets-of-life.blogspot.ca/ and leave a comment.

Otherwise you may click below, and maybe get a result...
--->Click to register.<---


If you're already a member please log in:

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
The Merlin Factor. Chapter Sixteen.
Topic Started: Dec 17 2015, 08:00 PM (102 Views)
crow
Member Avatar
One
The Merlin Factor. Chapter Sixteen.

Mission Accomplished.


England: Gunton Park, Norfolk, 1940.


I was flying. Only this time I was unencumbered by the whistling, roaring constraint of a Spitfire. Over the water. Somewhere.

There was no wind, no sensation of movement, yet the grey waters sped quickly by.
I was, I realized, walking through the sky, striding in seven-league boots, through the still, temperature-less air.
I turned and noticed, with no feeling of surprise, that I was not alone. Our eyes met and he smiled.
"Where do you go tonight, mon vieux?"
"Hello, Jacques," I said. But we weren't speaking. No words, but we spoke.
"You 'ave seen your woman, this `Auntie'?"
I nodded. Very serious. Pre-occupied. I didn't call her Auntie any more.
"Ah!" he said. "Then it is done. I am so 'appy for you both. You 'ave reached an - agreement?"
I smiled, at last, glad of his company. Nodded that we had.
"It is well. There is no more time. Does she know?"
I felt very sad. No. She didn't know. Could I tell her?
"She would not understand and it would not be kind. You are ready, mon vieux? Ready for what must be?" I looked at him.
"Does it matter?"
"It matters. The manner of your passing is of importance, yes? It is better to meet what must be with dignity. You must try."
So that was it. The end. Could anybody ever really be ready for something like that?
"How, Jacques? How can I be ready?" He laughed. A soft, comforting laugh.
"It is not so very 'ard, my friend. It is only that you are not to be afraid. You mus' not fear this thing. It can not 'arm you."
No. It could not harm me. Only kill me.
"Remember this, mon ami. It is necessary to die in order to live. It is not unusual. Everybody 'ave to do it. To fear is to make it only the more difficult, non?"
I smiled. For sure. What a strange conversation. Oh well.
"Thank-you, Jacques. Will it be today?"
"It will be today. The time is already fixed. It cannot be changed."
"Can I say good-bye to her?"
"Of course. She will not understand, but you can say it."
"Nothing to it, eh? Just like that. Ah." A deep sigh.
"Adieu, mon ami. I mus' be gone. It 'as been a pleasure." He reached out, grinning his characteristic grin and slapped my shoulder, upsetting my balance. I stumbled, yawed, began to spin...
"Jacques!"
"Farewell, mon vieux. Do not fear. You mus' never fear..."
I tumbled, end over end, spinning faster and faster, down, down towards the heaving grey waters far, far below...

*****

She looked beautiful. We held each other close and gazed into the farthest reaches of the last fleeting moments we would ever have in this life. She didn't know it, of course. I don't think she knew it. How could she, after all? I hadn't worn the corset. She searched my eyes as I handed it back to her.
"But you said it helped you, Johnny. I wish you'd wear it..." I smiled, kissed her again.
"Marion. My own darling Marion. I have worn it and been proud to. And yes, it has helped. But I can not wear it again. If I should die..." I held her close as her face fell, "...If it should happen that I am killed, I think I would rather die a Man than a frightened, sobbing child..."
She stared at me, her mouth open, silent. And in that moment, I realized that, somehow, there was no distance between us. That we were, in fact, one.
A larger picture almost formed in my mind. Almost complete. I almost understood...

The poor sweet thing. She couldn't understand this. Not yet. I had to meet my death on my own terms. It was important. Nothing could postpone the event anyway. Nothing. Certainly not her corset.
"Don't talk like that, Johnny dear," she pleaded. "Please don't..."
I stroked her shining hair, wishing there were more time.
"Marion. Listen to me. Please." I held her shoulders. "I had a dream last night. More than a dream. I dreamed..."
No. It could not be said. I couldn't do it. I chose different words:
"Marion. If it should turn out that this is all the time we will be allowed together, I want you to know that because of you, my whole life has been worthwhile. We will never be parted. You must try to remember that. Whatever happens, whatever should be, I will still be with you. Always. As long as you think of me, I will be there. I promise."

She clung like a child. Trembling. Small.
"Oh Johnny! I am so scared..."
"Do not fear, sweet Marion. Please. There is no need. I will always love you. Always."
And then there was no more time.

She drove me to the station, turning often, fixing my face in her mind for eternity. She couldn't know, but, but...

We embraced outside the gate. A lingering, fond, timeless embrace. It would have to last us a long, long time. On an impulse, I spoke the final words:
"I think I might be late, Marion. Maybe very late. But I shall return. I shall return to you, my darling Love..."

I watched her drive off into the past, the little black Austin dwindling like an arrow shot high into the air to fly free, alone and far, to land in some secret place, some hidden, final resting place.
Good-bye, Marion, I thought. Good-bye my love...

*****

"Mornin' Sir!" The S.P. threw his crisp, unnecessary salute.
"Good morning - ah - Asquith. Squadron Leader in his office?"
"Yessir! In 'is office, Sir!"
"Thank you, Asquith."

I walked over to the building, noticing the hole had almost disappeared from the roadway. Almost normal.
"Ay-oop, Johnny-boy! 'ad a nice fuck then?"
I looked at him, shaking my head slowly. He hadn't a clue.
"I had a wonderful time, thank-you Sir. Feel wonderful, Sir."
"Good show. Glad to 'ear it. Right then. Got a bunch of new sprogs down from O.T.U. Come on, I'll introduce everybody. Got a towel 'andy 'ave you? Need their little pink ears dried, most like. Come on..."

We walked over to Dispersals, him chattering away in his awful Lancashire excuse for English and I floating inches off the ground beside him.
"You feelin' all right then? You do seem a bit strange, like."
I smiled. Did it show?
"I'm fine Sir. Never felt so good."
It was true. Peaceful. Warm. Not a trace of fear. The entire roomful of apprentice pilots stood up as we entered. All except for Algy. He farted a loud rasping fart and threw a tea mug at Danger Man. It smashed on the door frame and sent a chilled hush around the new boys.
"I'll 'ave ter practice me shootin', like. Now I can't even hit the fuckin' Squaddie."
Danger Man stomped over and booted him out of his chair before turning to the assembled group and continuing as if nothing had happened.
"Like you to meet me Nazi-manglin' friend, Sergeant Pilot 'Orkins."
He always said it like that, damn him! Utterly unable to pronounce an `H' or to remember any name that wasn't Smith, Brown or Jones. He bowed and gestured at me. "'E's ruined more kites than anyone else I know, an' though we've 'ad our fallin' outs, it is my great pleasure to inform you all gathered 'ere that 'e is one shit fuckin' 'ot birdman. You can call 'im Johnny, if there's any of you still kickin' by tea time. Right then. Johnny 'ere will lead Yellow flight with you and you."
He pointed at two grinning schoolboys, pink and eager.
"Algy 'ere," he turned to the scabby, smirking pilot, "will lead Blue flight. 'eaven 'elp you an' you."
Two more bright eyed dreamers gasped in wonder.
"An', you," he grabbed a tall, skinny kid by the lapels, "since you've 'ad the amazin' total of twenty minutes on Spits, can lead Green. Got it?"
A flurry of saluting arms and fingers. A chorus of "Sir!"s.
"Gawd 'elp us. Saddle up then, gents. We'll 'ave a nice joy-ride around the local neighbor'ood to get familiar with the area. Come on, chop-chop!"

He chivvied the group out into the sunlight, winking at me. He was in a good mood for once. Rough but caring in his own, inept way. Bunch of kids. What could you do? "We'll do the circuit, fellers," he drew Algy and I to him. "Down as far as Yarmouth, out over the drink and back over Cromer. Right?"
We climbed into our machines and strapped in as, one by one, the Merlins burst into tuneful song, filling the air with sound and fury. The appearance of power. Sleek, deadly machines, strapped around silly, grinning kids.

Some of them were lucky to survive the take-off. Wobbling, yawing, curving under so much more power than the gutless trainers they had just come from. Horrible to watch, it was. Frightening. Up into the blue. I called my section by numbers. If Danger Man had told me their names, I hadn't really been listening. There was, after all, very little point.
They answered in the stilted, idiotic regulation R/T procedure they had recently been taught. Boys playing at being men. You could hear their pride over the air. Enormous pride of place. Britain's elite. The modern, airborne warrior of every schoolboy's fantasy. The very, very few.
I shook my head. Glory. That was what drove them to swallow their fear of such awesome, frightening responsibility, soaring madly into the heavens just barely in control of their machines. Glory and ignorance. And maybe innocence.
I wondered briefly how many would drop in their first encounter with the enemy. They were just too bloody new.

We curved over Yarmouth and headed north along the coast as far as Happisburgh (pronounced `Haysborough') before heading out over the sea. It was as well to give the new lads a taste of being away from land. It somehow brought the gravity of the situation home to them, seeing that suddenly there was nowhere to land if something went badly wrong. We flew for fifteen minutes in a wide semi-circle out into the void before starting back towards the coast, now a very thin line to the west.

...ksshk..."Poppy tower to Daisy, do you read, over"...
...kshk..."Daisy here"...
...pop..."We have a plot closing you Daisy, bearing two-two- seven, estimate twenty plus,over."...kshk...
..."Roger, Poppy"...

The static whistled and hissed as Danny considered.
All around, heads swivelled and searched. The sun was behind us and I knew that that was where they were. Diving down. I felt almost happy. Safely muffled in cotton wool. What did it matter?
..."Daisy Red Leader to flights, stay in formation. Buster!"...

What else could he have said? These youngsters had no idea of combat. The odds were too high for now. We had to run. Black smoke streamed back as the squadron went into full boost. Barely visible to the south, lay Overstrand, while dead ahead, the square church-tower of Cromer lay like a signpost to forever. I stared at it, wondering. And suddenly the thin curtain of unknowing parted and at last I knew...

I almost laughed. My God! It was like watching a film I'd seen once before. A film watched while drunk, so that it was only vaguely remembered until seen for a second time.
I gazed ahead at the machine in front. "Laidler," I thought. "How long have you been dead? Or did you only live for this moment?"
I saw it all. Lived it again. In a flash of blinding clarity, I knew enlightenment. The irony of life! God, what a shame to finally understand it, only to lose it again!

My eyes blurred and watered, rich emotions flooding through me. Oh the Glory! Oh the love! Yes. Love! It flooded through me like the presence of God. How could I have been so afraid? If only...

If only I had known!

I looked around me, lost in wonder. Saw the racing fighters fleeing from the inescapable.
"You can't run from destiny," I thought. "You can't run..."

Beside me, my number two's eyes grew wide as he caught sight of something behind.
..."Yellow two to Leader, Bandits closing from the sun. Jesus, they're close!"...kshk...
I thumbed the R/T switch.
"I love you," I said. "I love you all..."

A deafening bang blurred my sight as something fast and deadly slammed into the armor behind me. The canopy exploded as shells drove through it, wrenching the instrument panel from its mounts and smashing on through the firewall into the fuselage tank. The headphones filled with screaming, panic-filled voices, all yammering away at once.
"...Break! Break! Behind you, Stephen...Ahhhhhhh!!!"

Fuel gushed out over my legs from the ruptured tank. The propeller flew from its shaft and the Merlin howled away into infinity, accelerating into destruction.
The cowling erupted and a piston flew out into space. The noise filled the world. So much noise.
I was thrown forwards as a big red fist punched out through my chest. One had finally made it past the back-armor. I stared at the crimson windshield, curiously stunned, strangely detached. How strange. How very, very strange.
No pain.
I smiled. And then I laughed.
So there really was nothing to fear.
All so very easy if you didn't try to stop the inevitable.
Just smile and let go. Let it all go.

Should I try to jump? Was it worth it? The hole in my chest was very large. Flames roared from the engine and reached back for me. Now that was different. I had never fancied roasting like a hog on a spit. So to speak. Oh all right then. Might as well...

The canopy blew away in a flurry of confetti even as I reached for it. I removed the leather helmet, taking my final look at this old, familiar thing, and struggled upright on the seat, looking for the sky. Where was the sky? I could have sworn there was a sky...

Flames sunk icy talons into my face. Cold? Strange. You'd have thought they would be hot. It seemed reasonable.

As I slipped and hit my head on the aerial, the fuel soaked fabric of my uniform rippled into beautiful, colorful flame, sucking the air from my lungs. I could see the flames entering the hole in my chest and then roaring, dragon-like from my mouth.

No pain.

I let go. No more use for you, sweet bird. Sorry to treat you like this. You were so nice and new just now. Sky. There it is. I knew I'd find it sooner or later. Sea. Oh? Sky. Sea. Sky...

Automatically clutching at slippery red D-ring. Hard to pull. Covered in slick, slimy scarlet oil. Ah. There it goes. A fluttering of white and searing, icy flames. Faster and faster. I smile to myself, knowing. And I hadn't even pissed on it. Unknowing. Uncaring. Ecstasy cascading through me, the ultimate in earthly orgasms. Laughter and tears. Oh. I wasn't afraid, Jacques. Honest, I wasn't...

It all faded away, faded away to nothing. I walked, free and unencumbered by the claustrophobic capsule of aluminum and perspex. Walked the heavens.
I reached for my Love. The Woman I had loved through all of time. The Woman I would never stop loving. And she was there. We held hands and laughed into each other's eyes...

Beautiful. God, she was just so beautiful. It made my throat catch and the words hard to say. But she waited, so pleased that I would think to say them, these words she longed so much to hear. Patient, sharing herself with me. Always sharing. I tried again, wetting my parched, blackened lips. It sounded funny to me, as if I was never meant to say such words. My mouth not made to express feelings such as these...

"Marion. My darling Marion. My Love. My Queen..."
She closed her eyes and sighed, her precious heart beating just for me. She smiled and smiled and smiled....

*****

"Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
DealsFor.me - The best sales, coupons, and discounts for you
« Previous Topic · Merlin Factor · Next Topic »
Locked Topic

Visitor Counter
Visitor Counter
Basic! theme created by g0b0ts of ZetaBoards Theme Zone