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| Addicted Parents | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 22 2018, 03:07 PM (113 Views) | |
| Ardy | Feb 22 2018, 03:07 PM Post #1 |
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Generous
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It dawned on me that, apart from a few alcoholics, there were no drug addicted parents when I was growing up. Plenty of barely functioning humans but that's normal. The result of this was that most kids grew up fairly normal. Fed, clothed and sent to school. |
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| crow | Feb 22 2018, 03:36 PM Post #2 |
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One
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There were probably more prescription-drug addicts than you were aware of. I may have been more aware of this, since my mother was one of them, and consequently, so also was my father. It's almost certainly far more prevalent today, though. |
| "Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space. | |
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| Ardy | Feb 22 2018, 05:42 PM Post #3 |
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Generous
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Crow: I never heard of anyone in my booze and violence ridden council house estate, whose parents took prescription drugs. Maybe it went on and nobody talked. I know the pressure on keeping the neighbours in the illusion of happy families was rife although the screaming harridan that was my mother broadcast the problems to all our close neighbours who were not deaf! My mates and I used to talk about drunken fathers and beatings but no one mentioned drugs. It must have been my Pollyanna state of mind.... |
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| crow | Feb 22 2018, 05:47 PM Post #4 |
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One
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Not an entirely bad state of mind, as states of mind go. |
| "Squawk!" said the crow, and then made space. | |
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| Simpleton | Feb 22 2018, 08:41 PM Post #5 |
Black
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Without going into excessive detail, my mother is in her early 60's, a survivor of pancreatic cancer, still uses hard drugs as she has done her whole life, and she's still above ground and breathing. For all of her problems, she is one tough woman. I think she's too mean to die. But the reason I stated that is to make a point about how well people can hide even the biggest drug or other behavioral problem. It seems the only people who know this about my mother are myself, my father, my (at times live-in) girlfriend and of course her druggie friends. She can be walking around half naked in a fugue state one minute and when, say, the home nurse comes to visit, she can bring herself together at least just enough to pass off as merely sick. For a more extreme example, many of the friends, family and acquaintances of serial killers are shocked when it comes to light they have been raping and killing people on a regular basis. Edited by Simpleton, Feb 22 2018, 08:42 PM.
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| Telemachus | Feb 23 2018, 12:44 PM Post #6 |
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Blue
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I see that my peers who are more psychologically unstable or may whine over simple stuff have parents who are not simple. It seems like their fathers and mothers really try to shape their children, to demand from children certain behavior and also to intrude in their life sometimes. Those parents are not strict in general sense, not to themselves nor to their children, but they are strict in some selected aspects. I guess whimsical or capricious could be the right word to describe those adults. Those parents sometimes can be capricious in front of their children, or allow their kids to hear their complaints about life. But I only suspect that it is like that. Now, at this point of my life, I feel shame for what I am doing and not doing, what I have done and not done. I feel shame twice as much when I see my parents still working on their jobs and me being dependent on them. They are becoming old. My parents were extremely kind to me and they never were demanding. I never blamed them for the total absence of strictness towards me because I always could trust my own judgment and all silliness in my life is only my fault. Simple and kind, they went through all stages of life very stoically. My mother and father were never heavily ill, they almost never lay in hospital, and they never divorced when many around them did, have worked on the same jobs all their life. Never in my life I saw my father or mother losing their nerves or being hysterical. They never had depression. They even almost never were sad. Are most of the parents like that? They quarreled with each other sometimes, most of the time because my father spent money to give as a gift or help to friends and relatives and it made my mother upset, but now they are too old to quarrel. If there is something good in my character then it is because of them. My father is too simple. He is often sloppy. He teaches mathematics in university, plays chess and volleyball, and always has Sudoku magazine in his pocket. Sophistication was always an alien thing to him, he never wears any type of accessory. I think he feels the same usual comfort in any circumstance, I never saw him being tired, only sleepy right before he is going to sleep. When he walks outside or comes home he has the same face which has no emotion and even no thought, his face is calm. Yet he is very savvy when interacting with people. Also nothing in this life can irritate him. He only becomes angry when people who are close to him act stupid or petty. But physical things irritate him never. The only thing which concerns him is the well-being of people around him and he is known for being very friendly. That's it. Edited by crow, Feb 25 2018, 02:07 PM.
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| Simpleton | Feb 23 2018, 04:08 PM Post #7 |
Black
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Not in this day and age, and most certainly not in my neck of the woods. Anybody I have gotten to know well enough to also know about their parents have had parents afflicted with neuroses of one extent or another. Not surprising, because it seems that a majority of people, since the 1960's or so especially, suffer from some kind of neurosis, whether they have children or not. My paternal grandfather is perhaps the only person I know well that seems completely and utterly stable. It's no surprise that he was born in 1937, and in his prime in the 1950s, living life as a US Navy sailor. He had a strong foundation in discipline and traditional masculinity before the mass perversion of western culture that occurred in the late 1960's. Edited by Simpleton, Feb 23 2018, 04:09 PM.
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| silentpartner | Feb 25 2018, 11:59 AM Post #8 |
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Green
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What a beautiful and moving tribute to your parents Telemachus - how fortunate you are AND how well you write. Thank you......... |
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7:32 AM Jul 11