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ShadowSpectre: PAIN/DOLORES; EM Being/Pain, Wave Conversion/Dolores
Topic Started: Feb 14 2012, 03:17 PM (297 Views)
ShadowSpectre
Using a new topic for these latter two parts of the profile; they'll be added to the main profile if eventually approved rather than using two separate profiles.

EM Being:
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Wave Conversion: Pain and Matthew Beckett
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Van of Team Dai-Gurren
Alrighty, well. As I've said already I'm just hesitant about the level or morbidity overall here. Personally I want to let it slide but the site is in fact PG-13. I'm inclined not to make you tone this down in the profile itself, but you're gonna have to go easier on the details when you actually RP these.

As for the shape changing part, you're gonna have to reword this some way or another. Regardless of whatever changes are happening to Pain, they need to be within reason and more importantly he needs to be easily recognizable to anything and anyone observing him. Furthermore I don't know what you mean by having his appearance inflict a psychological impact but at the same time affect recording machines. I'm gonna say no to the latter, there's no real reason this should affect machinery in such a way, nothing logical comes to mind at least. Also realize characters with a more calm or even apathetic mind, to name a few traits, won't be nearly as affected by the chills Pain gives off, so to speak.

The bio is fine and dandy, but as a note if you're going to reference Dabir's character you'll need his express permission, which I doubt you'll have trouble getting if you haven't already.

Again, you're gonna have to ease up on the ever-shifting thing. If it's always changing, that's fine. But if any two people or machines are observing it at the same time, it should look the same and change the same. I don't see any reason for it to do otherwise, the psychological effect won't affect everyone, and certainly not machines.

Strengths are fine, though just be sure you realize that even if you describe his abilities as remarkable the effect of them in battle will all be negligible. Weaknesses also seem to balance to me. Though Ravenous almost sounds like a skill more than a Weakness, it's fine as an RP Weakness.

Strike is actually a bit UP if I read it right. It's fine if you have the possibility of using this thrice in a turn, and without CoolDown. The base cost of such flexibility is a damage level, so a Moderate CQC attack is fine for use twice a turn. This is assuming you know each punch will take up an action. If you meant this to be all one action if used twice, then another damage level of drawbacks would be needed.

EBT is fine, though I'd like you to specify the length of the blade, baseline is .5m of course.

Slam is going to need some nerfing, though the good news is you can bump the knock-back effect up to 2m back. The effect is worth two damage levels, so you'll need another damage level of drawbacks on this as well. I assume the hammer requires two hands to wield though, so I'll need you to state that as well.

For Hammer Throw, first I'll need you to specify the size of the hammer head, just for the record. Second you'll have to slap about 2 turns of CoolDown on this attack if you want to keep the 8m length of the chain, since baseline is 5m.
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Doing the Impossibru.

Because Spoiler-ception is the new Spoiler
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ShadowSpectre
Made a number of changes throughout the profile.

EM Being:
Spoiler: click to toggle

Wave Conversion:
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CHANGES:
Pain Profile
From:
"However, when viewed in the periphery of vision, Pain seems to change poses dramatically, contorting into positions that strike chords within the psyche of all sentient beings. Appears slightly differently to each and every individual observing it; the twitches and shaking isn't quite the same as seen by you as someone else. When the EM being is visible, recording devices cannot capture it in a single state. A computer will not recognise it as an entity, and two individual, sentient (not necessarily sapient) beings will observe two different interpretations of Pain, and in addition, this changes every time they review the recording."
To:
"...into positions that would make a direct observer wince in pain. This only occurs when there is no sentient being observing Pain in a visible state. When the EM being is visible, recording devices capture a strange static-filled humanoid shape whose details cannot be perfectly ascertained and motions and movements appear to be mostly normal, though contortions and so on still seem to be captured. However, this static and lack of detail in themselves indicate that it is indeed Pain itself being recorded, suggesting the being is somehow broadcasting an illusory image of morbid things. "

Dolores Profile
From:
"The head is covered by a twisted helm whose spikes and plating looks different every time an individual directly observes it, though it never seems to change shape normally. No two people see the helm in the same shape. If recorded visually, a computer would not recognise there is a head at all. Two people viewing it would see differently-shaped sets of metal plates, but constant are..."
To:
"All of these changes occur every time the helm is not being directly observed; viewed in the periphery of vision, the changes can be seen, but the moment it is stared it, the changing ceases. If recorded visually, a computer would not recognise there is a helmet at all, instead displaying a static-filled head shape."

Weapons
Strike possible uses in one turn upped to three, cooldown removed. Each strike is a separate attack, and each counts towards the three per turn (as was previously implied).
Electrified Blade Throw blade length specified as 0.15m; as a tradeoff for the small size, they are now loosed at high speed.
Slam knockback removed.
Hammer Throw radius shortened to 5m.
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Van of Team Dai-Gurren
Ok then, a few things to address, though the profile is good to go. First off you don't have to re post the whole profile each time your revise it, just editing the first post is fine, that's where we'd look first anyways.

The revisions to it's appearance look good, if I'm reading it all correctly.

If I can get you to change attacks to actions in the description of strike as a technicality, that'd be best.

And lastly I should not any projectile smaller than .5m is not worth drawbacks at all. Besides this though I've no reason not to allow the knife to be flung quickly, so long as it's speed is within reason. I'd imagine not quite so fast as a bullet and still very detectable by the human eye.

Being these are all nit picks, this is good to go by me.

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Approved. You can pick up Elemental Benefits and post the profile as a whole in the PC profiles section... once Beckett himself see's another approval. I think A-Coya was still waiting for you to tone down the religious parts in it or clarify something or another ;>_>
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Doing the Impossibru.

Because Spoiler-ception is the new Spoiler
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Good Ol' Sen. Armstrong
Approved.
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Capt. Mega Sparrow Iron Bat Raiden of the Order of the Falcon

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