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The Eurasian Socialist Union Cabinet
11th Premiership of the Eurasian Socialist Union

Chief Premier: Kedalistan
Honour WA Delegate: Merlinton
First-ranked Deputy Premier: Latrovia
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Founded: February 22nd, 2014

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Deputy Premier: Axeldonia

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Axeldonian News Agency (ANA); News from the Hellenic state 24/7
Topic Started: Jan 6 2016, 07:54 PM (792 Views)
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INVASION!

The Axeldonia news network has just been informed that the newly reformed Dominion of Poltovaria has invaded the tiny island nation of Friö, which recently seceded from Poltovaria in response to the ousting of the interim government from power and the radically aggressive policies of the Dictatorship. according to several sources, most important of which are refugees from the hour-long conflict, the soldier the Dictatorship uses seems not to be citizen soldiers, but something else entirely. They also seem very lightly equipped in contrast to other armies in the union, as supported by what is presumably the only photo that managed to get out before Poltovaria managed to capture the island.

"They seemed to completely lack sense of fear and survival instinct, and i don't mean that figuratively. Our machine gunner took out about 20 of them as they just ran right out on the street to shoot at us, but we eventually had to abandon our position as there was just too many, like a constant flood of new soldiers."-Refugee, earlier a soldier of the Friö armed forces.

Experts question how such a comparably small nation has produced such a large army and why they seem to use human wave attacks, which would be incredibly ineffective in the long run for a nation with such a small population. The Axeldonian government has issued an emergency meeting to discuss how to react to their former ally and how to handle it next. stay tuned for a post-meeting press conference.
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Opposition speaks up!

Axeldonia is shocked by the announcement that the Axeldonian "Rich old white men party" will be running for a place in the Chamber of the grand courtholderdom, as opposed to constantly trying to elect a mayor in the small village of Southeast Brentonville. The party is infamous for it's extremist views, with their party leader Ronald Dump having proclaimed his racist views on national television.

*Clip is played*

Ronald Dump: "I say we send all those gosh-darn Aghrabian refugees back where they came from, straight back over the bosporus! And we ought to blockade the strait to prevent anyone from coming back while we're at it!"

*Two men in the back of the crowd can be heard cheering*

Reporter: "Mister Dump, you do know that almost no Aghrabians even fled during the Bosporus liberation war, and that the majority of refugess we currently receive is from occupied Friö?"

RD: "But they... uh... look like us, so that's okay."

Rep: "But Aghrabian and Axeldonian culture have more in common than-"

RD: "I AM OFFICIALLY RUNNING FOR COURTHOLDER OF AXELDONIA!"

*One of the men in the back has stopped cheering, the crowd is dead silent.*

RD: "Uh... Toodles."

*Ronald Dump exits the poduim, followed by reporters.*

[marq=Left]JUST IN: |Feta sales at all time high|Skirmish in Axeldonian bosporus|Killer bees-|News anchor vanishes|Situation still heated in the mediterranean|Poltovaria is still evil|[/marq]
Edited by Axeldonia, Jan 14 2016, 10:47 PM.
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Anti-Arabism on the rise in Axeldonia!

Following the tense meeting of the "Arab leauge" that ened in the Axeldonian observer leaving the meeting, allegedly due to "A hostile attitude from the rest of the attendees" complete with threats of "returning Axeldonia to Arabs and Muslims" Anti-Arabianism and Islamophobia has begun to rise to the point where the "Rich old white men party" have begun receiving enough support that they now have a fair chance to get seats in the government.

Meanwhile, the current Axeldonian government has responded to the incident by befging up border security and increased security measures for Prussian and Aghrabian citizens.
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Three killed in shooting

Two policemen where today shot to death by a man armed with a Kalashnikov while on patrol in the southern part of Axeldonia, specifically one of the Axeldonian "special autonomous regions" know as Montenegro. The Axeldonian special police was alerted and arrived at the scene quickly, but the man violently resisted, firing his rifle at the police, which culminated in the police forcing their way into an apartment building the man fled into and gunning him down. Later that day an unknown group calling themselves "the South Slavic Unification Front" took responsibility for the attack. Flags on all government buildings within Hellenic Axeldonia and the Special autonomous region of Montenegro will fly at half mast to mourn the loss of lives.
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Political instability on the rise!

Breaking news!

Riots have erupted across Axeldonia, with embassies of primarily Arab nations exposed to angry mobs of fascist and neo nazi-supporters. The mobs are mostly armed with blunt objects such as baseball bats and rocks, with some carrying torches. All members armed with lethal weapons are to be arrested on site, with a total of four arrests of this kind having occured so far, resulting in a total of two officers wounded. Axeldonian riout police is en route to these embassies to back up conventional police forces already on site. Axeldonius III has publicly stated that the government will NOT suspend the elections set to occur tomorrow.

Local Montenegrian separatists have apparently used this opportunity to occupy a local town hall in Montenegro, proclaiming the surrounding village the sovereign republic of montenegro. The governor of the Special autonomous region of Montenegro (Himself an ethnic Montenegrin) has declared martial law, surrounding all government building with Montenegrin home guard and have ordered for the small Montenegrin defense force (In essence an army independent from Axeldonian command) to move in and retake the village. Local home guard has also apparently begun fighting the Separatist on their own initiative, with gunfire heard at the outskirts of town. The governor has said he will award the soldiers for their quick initiative and firm patriotism once the operation is over.

In other news, the Axeldonian election is coming up, with the Axeldonian Social Democrats leading the polls by 38%, followed by the Axeldonian Unity Party with 20%, the Envoromental Party at 17% and finally the Axeldonian Fascist party at an alarming 15%, with some small parties predicted to come over the 4% mark. The most prominent people running for Grand Courtholder this year are as follows: Aegeus Constantinides (Current Grand Courtholder under the name Axeldonius III running for his second term and leader of the social democrats) Caitriona Gounaris (Axeldonian Unity Party) Deorsa Milas (Enviromental Party) And finally the somewhat controversially named Adolf Ajax (Axeldonian Fascist Party)


[marq=Left]|Riots at Arab embassies|Shots fired in Montenegro|Election one day away|Dock workers on strike|Negotiations with the Repubulic of Terra intensifying|Armed response to ensure stability|Axeldonian fascist party at 15% in polls|Montenegrian Separatists occupying local town hall| Axeldonian stock market near collapse|[/marq]
Edited by Axeldonia, Feb 28 2016, 12:42 AM.
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Situation stabilizes as election results are in
Yesterdays riots ended violently as a total of ten people where wounded in disarming operations, with both poluce and demonstators suffering. Thankfully no one was killed and the embassies where protected from harm by riot and conventional police forces, who kept the demonstators at bay.

The situation in Montenegro has culminated with the separatist agitators locking themsekves inside the town hall, with Montenegrin and Axeldonian joint military special forces preparing to breach. The battle for the town lasted roughly twelve hours, with five civillians, seven separatists, three National guardsmen and two Montenegrin soldiers wounded, with one civillian, four separatists and two Montenegrin combatants killed.

Now for the election results: The Axeldonian Social Democratic party came out on top with a whopping 42% lead, snagging a lot of voters primarily from the Axeldonian Unity Party, getting 17% of votes but also from the fascist party, getting only 12% of the votes. The Enviromental Party stabilized at 16% of votes, leaving the remaining votes to the Axeldonian Communist Party (5%), The oddly named Axeldonian Pizza party (4%) And the obscure Axeldonian Bosporus Party (4%)

Axeldonius III is to reenter office tommorow, keeping his current cabinet members in power.
Edited by Axeldonia, Mar 21 2016, 10:40 PM.
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More troops in disputed region
Due in part to increased far right violent separatism in Axeldonias "Special Administrative Areas" and partly due to pressure from the Axeldonian Fascist party and the UAP, the Axeldonian government has been forced to comply with the demands for an increased troop prescence in the Bosporus. Several additional military units will now be stationed in the area, with special forces units activated to raid the homes of suspects, thus making life ever harder for the inhabitants of the area.

[marq=left]|Possible border skirmish in the Bosporus|First special forces raid complete|Axeldonian stock market saved at last minute|Price of olive oil on the rise|Axeldonian-Terran relations at all time high|Many Axeldonians worried about "The crescent"|Fascist at 90% in local town|Increasing number of the mysterious Neo-Nazi "Spartans" discriminating immigrants|Awezomia dissapears|[/marq]
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Satellites to boost S.R.R. research
The S.R.R. Space agency revealed their latest project in collaboration with the S.S.R. reseach department of particle physics: A collection of satellites that will fire concentrated streams of neutrinos when activated, as well as functioning as relays for the planned drones on mars. These streams of neutrinos will then be captured by hypersensitive instrument in a series of (Currently secret) mountain labs and will hopefully provide a boost for reseach in both astronomy and particle physics.
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Mafia rescues mob boss
The notorious mob boss "Il Leone" has gone missing after what seems to be a planned attack by two cooperating mafia clans. The trial was supposed to be held in the Greznjev court of laws, only to be interrupted when three vans, each containing members of the Sicilian mafia, drove in front of the courthouse, brutally gunning down two soldiers stationed outside, detonating a bomb at a store further down the street and rescuing the mob boss in the ensuing chaos. The S.R.R. police is still confused as to why two rival mafia clans would work together, but has issued a statement that this case will be their 1# priority from here on out. More on this as it develops.
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Everything is fine.
The Axeldonian government has issued a statement to both the international community and it's internal autonomus regions, reading as follows: "Everyting is fine. All nonessential citizens, which is to say citizens with the following or related jobs: Baker, Instructor in fitness or arts, gem analysts, cultist of Khrach'tar and Monkey. The black helicopters are here to protect you. The aliens are immune to bullets. We are not being controlled by aliens composed of pure sentience. The aliens are immune to bullets. Axeldonia will remain within it's current alliances. The aliens are immune to bullets. Zone 203 is off-limits and deadly force is authorized to keep it that way. The aliens are immune to bullets. The international community is encouraged to send as much erythrite as possible. The aliens are immune to bullets. If you see a metal suit moving on it's own, call the military and hide in the fetal position. The aliens are immune to bullets. The occupation is proceeding as planned. And finally, the aliens are immune to bullets."
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