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The Eurasian Socialist Union Cabinet
11th Premiership of the Eurasian Socialist Union

Chief Premier: Kedalistan
Honour WA Delegate: Merlinton
First-ranked Deputy Premier: Latrovia
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Minister of Culture: Clemodecralia
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Minister of Finance: Grand North America



Founded: February 22nd, 2014

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Calofas National News (CNN); International press and available for use by the regional newspaper.
Topic Started: Jan 13 2016, 11:43 PM (1,106 Views)
Calofas
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13/01/2016
Desroches Islands Blackout
By Tito Larue

COMMUNICATIONS from the Desroches Islands have been severed.

The islands which have a population of around 160, were cut off over 24 hours ago and attempts to re-establish contact have thus far proved unsuccessful.

In recent years the Government of Calofas has been increasing their military presence on the islands and there are rumors that a weapons test was scheduled for 12:30pm shortly before communications ceased.

Local fishermen from neighboring islands claimed to have heard the detonation of a bomb, Carlitos Foss, 54 said “There was a bright flash in the sky, followed by a tremendous noise which caused the boat to rock violently and windows to smash, the damage was so bad that it broke transmitter radio.”

CalComs who are responsible for broadband, mobile and telephone communications have refused to comment, however a spokesperson Estela Lemaire, 34 did say “We are in the process of service upgrades in the outer lying islands of Calofas”

“We are doing our best to re-establish connection and wish to apologies for the inconvenience.”

The Calofasian Government is denying rumors of weapons testing, stating the area had been experiencing weather phenomenon, most likely caused by climate change and or pollution in the Indian Ocean.

The National Guard is to be deployed to the island to ensure the safety of local civilian population.

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Latrovia
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H A R R Y T S O U K L A J R

The Latrovian Kingdom, is interested in learning, if there is anything that could help Calofas with
Regional Achievements
Premier of the Eurasian Socialist Union
Founder of the United Kingdom of Latrovia
Leader of the Unified Progressive Party

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Calofas
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Latrovia
Jan 14 2016, 12:37 AM
The Latrovian Kingdom, is interested in learning, if there is anything that could help Calofas with
To the Government of the United Kingdom of Latrovia,

Thank you for your concern it is a positive thing to see other nations taking interest in the domestic news of Calofas.

I am delighted to inform you that communications have been reestablished after 36 hours. There were no casualties or injuries, the blackout was up down to a freak electric storm. The Desroches Islands were well supplied and and there were no food shortages. Locals were well cared for by the local government commune, and were able to use the facilities of the Desroches Community Centre. Luckily citizens on the Desroches Islands had basic amenities including the availability of gas cookers warm showers etc.

We are now going through the process of replacing all electrical equipment on the island including the removal of old fibre optic cabling and phone lines to be replaced with the next generation model.

With Regards,
The Government of Calofas
Edited by Calofas, Jan 14 2016, 02:54 PM.
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Latrovia
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H A R R Y T S O U K L A J R

To the Government of Calofas,

We are happy to hear that the problems are resolved. Best of luck

Regional Achievements
Premier of the Eurasian Socialist Union
Founder of the United Kingdom of Latrovia
Leader of the Unified Progressive Party

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Calofas
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15/01/2016
NEW WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION
By Antonia Comtois

CALOFAS’ military has announced the development of a new weapon of mass destruction.

Under the project codename ‘Fat Dog’ began in 1998 and looked to find a weapon that penetrates any and all defensive shields.

The weapon can be deployed anywhere and the impact has been noted to be so strong that even the mighty Thor could not defeat it, another added bonus is that the weapon is re-usable and is the first “modern green weapon.”

Dr Alverez Diomande 62 a government scientist stated “this is the greatest leap forward in warfare since a caveman looked at a stick, and decided to make it pointy.”

This is footage from a range of weapons testing, be warned some viewers may find this disturbing.

Spoiler: click to toggle


The original idea is from the 1980s and Professor Anita Bonnay, 72, concept of weaponization of obese pets.

It has been reported that even the Great King Jimmy Kuma of Kumania said “I should probably renovate my starships since I'm certain that the Fat Labradors can penetrate them!”
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"Oh God. We're DOOMED!" President Domino in response to Calofas' new weapon of mass destruction.
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Calofas
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16/01/2016
Relief Fund For Latrovia!
By Tito Larue

THE GOVERNMENT of Calofas is announcing the commencement of the Latrovia Relief Fund in response to the latest weapons defense development by Latrovia (http://w11.zetaboards.com/TESU/topic/11495497/1/#new).

In a statement announcing “Nations of the World have always admired the technological advances of Latrovia, but on this occasion they have begun to meddle with forces they do not understand. That is normally the way for technology advances, when Ernest Rutherford first split the atom, he would know little that his discovery would lead to such death, destruction and misery after his passing”

“Latrovia needs the world’s help on this occasion, and we are announcing a world fund to save Latrovia, with an investment of 10 Billion Calo’s.”

This fund has been announced in the wake of new weapons defences by Latrovia, many of Calofas’ top scientists are debating the theories of what would actually happen if these systems were implemented.

Ernest Capello 55, one of the world’s leaders in the field of magnetics puts forth one theory “Well, this magnetic shield that covers a nation, is possible. But not for the desired effect. The earth has a magnetic shield, which protects us from solar flares and the immense heat of the sun”

“Studies looking at global temperatures are already showing a noticeable temperature drop in the region around Latrovia.”

“In addition, this magnetic shield which fries any electrical equipment acts like an EMP bomb constantly detonating, which means Latrovia has been sent back to the stone age with every device with an electric pulse has been destroyed”

“Most worryingly is that all communications from Latrovia have ceased. Attempts from the WA to contact the island nation have failed.”

Carlos Joubert 43, Calofas’ top laser developer also says “The Latrovians have also stated this shield is impenetrable to lasers or a beam. But of course a laser is only light. This means that all light cannot pass, not even the sun"

“As all the sun is, is a beam immense light.”

Another aspect of this latest news is the declaration that any nation that holds the planet’s climate hostage is to be branded a “short-sighted Terrorist State.” Leading climatologist Aurora Cote 39, a world leader in the research of climate change said “It is unfortunate that a technologically advanced nation such as Latrovia can be so short sighted, maybe this is mankind’s greatest problem, his obsession with controlling his surroundings”

“This time it goes too far, nature is not theirs to be controlled and has her way of biting back.”

“It is impossible to effect a specific area of the environment without having a knocked on effect, we know that a temperature rise in the Arctic causes floods and heavy rain elsewhere, a drought in Ethiopia effects the rainy season in India; we are all interconnected”

“We might live on islands, either in our heads or on a map, but this will affect everyone.”

This infrared image of the world demonstrates the already abnormal temperature and world phenomenons.

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Camila Favre who has been appointed head of the relief fund has called for other world leaders to begin donating to the Latrovia Relief Fund (LRF). The 10 billion Calos is a great starting point but this is a truly mammoth task and it seems like we can’t rely on the Latrovians to fix this themselves.

The world can only speculate to the conditions normal Latrovian citizens are facing. It has been summed up to be an impenetrable darkness with temperatures dropping to an approx -10 at the moment and expected to continue if the world does not act.

Will all nations willing to offer support to a fellow nation in need, please state below and how much they are willing to donate to the Latrovia Relief Fund.
Edited by Calofas, Jan 16 2016, 03:17 AM.
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People's Liberation Republic
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After observing the increased temperatures surrounding Latrovia and the sheer harshness that such conditions force Latrovian citizens to endure, Prime Minister Victor Houghton and the Secretary of the Treasury shall generously donate 1 billion Tunsks to the relief fund with hopes that this shall go towards creating a better living condition for the people of Latrovia.
With Much Regard,
Caliph Abraham Baqi Saiful Azman
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Kumania
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King Jimmy announces that he shall donate 1 billion Kumans to this fund since the Latrovians once helped Kumania recover and he wants to return the favor to an old good friend.
King Jimmy Kuma
or no?
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Calofas
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17/01/2016
Welcome to the Laser Internet Age
By Antonia Comtois

NEW satellite launch will make optic fibre cabling redundant.

The Research Institution in the Development and Design of Laser Engineering (RIDDLE) have announced a new step forward in laser technology, with the development of laser based communications technology.

Currently RIDDLE has the largest budget under experimental and future technologies developments in Calofas, with the bulk of research aimed at the development of new telecommunications.

Recently they have been working in tandem with the Calofasian Space Agency (CSA) and are looking to launch two new ground breaking satellites.

These satellites will use electromagnetic and neutrino lasers for communications and will end dependence on miles of underground cabling.

This is a welcome move according to the many small island communities of Calofas whose dependence on older more outdated fibre cabling that cannot be upgraded regularly.

Adalberto Vipond, 48 and elected representative of the Rodrigues Island Assembly said “This is great news for the isolated island communities, I think we will begin to see greater economic benefits as well, because with many new age businesses all you need are a phone and an internet connection.”

Head researcher at RIDDLE Dr. Emilia Poulin, 41 said “We are very proud of these achievements that put Calofas ahead in the world of laser and communications technology development”

“This could not have been achieved without the help of Dr. Egil Ostberg and Dr. Havard Arnesen who joined the team from The Federation of The Empire of Handland.”

Recently the two nations began co-operating in the researching of communications technology.

It is expected that the first of the two satellites nicknamed Hermes will be launched Wednesday at 3pm and the second nicknamed Vár is to be launched on Friday at 12:30pm.
Edited by Calofas, Jan 18 2016, 03:24 AM.
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Welcome to this special report from Calofas National News.

(Calofas State Radio will resume daily broadcasts in April. In the meantime this takes me 15 minutes to do, not 3 hours)

Protests and peace marches were held simultaneously in the 6 regional capitals of Calofas today, including Port de Triomphe. The peace marches were held as a sign of unity across the many different ethic and religious groups that call Calofas home. This has been a result of rising anti-Arab tensions in North America and Neo-Fascism on the rise in Europe. Many of the protesters were angry at the victimization that people with Arab heritage receive across the planet as well as a backlash against the reactionary radicalization and militarization of Arabs.

Peace March


In a rare appearance Alderic Wolfe made a speech.

"Calofas is one of the richest nation on the planet. I am not talking about money and wealth, but the rich cultural heritage and diversity of our nation. Calofas is a highly diverse state. It is a collection of different nations, ethnic groups and cultures. There are six autonomous groups of islands, all with their own form of regional Government. There are five different official languages. Colonized by four different imperial powers that have all disappeared from the face of the earth. There are three different religions practiced across the nation.There are two different alphabets in use across many parts of the islands. But we are united as one nation, with one identity.

Let it be known to the world that Calofas does not stand for divisive primitive racism. I believe we have a unique place in the world, a beacon of tolerance, an example of what the world could look like. With co-operation, tolerance, compassion and a resistance to the fear mongering being exhibited elsewhere.
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27th of March

Broadcasting from downtown Port de Triomphe welcome to today’s news.

An executive order issued by the League of Communists was announced today restricting freedom of movement around the Comoros Islands. This comes after the Committee for State Security (CSS) announced it had received threats to national security. All commercial and civilian shipping are prohibited from approaching the islands.

Many civil rights activists have criticised the decision to restrict freedom of movement to the Comoros, stating that the excuse of a threat to national security is a ploy to control the local population who are largely Muslim.

This is the second executive order by the Committee for State Security who have also initiated a rule called the 101st Kilometre Exclusion Zone, which states all citizens deemed as undesirables will be forcibly moved at least 101 Kilometres away from the capital Port de Triomphe.

Now, to international news.

Yesterday seen the conclusion of voting in Kumania where the ruling party, the Libertarian Socialist party have secured another majority in the Kumanian Parliament with a total of 140 seats.

Quotes attributed to Alderic Wolfe expressed delight in the strengths of Kumanian Democracy and stated “The Libertarian Socialist Party are worthy winners of the election, and it reflects greatly in the Kumanian people that the right winged Conservatives have yet again failed to be elected.”

However Deputy Leader Helena Giroux directed her attention towards the Communist Party, who won a majority in the Miquelon State and a total of 22 seats in Parliament, by saying; “The Kumanian Communist party need to grow up and realise that only with a revolution with the proletariat at the forefront will they be able to wipe away the stain of the bourgeois corruption and ownership of Kumanian Democracy.”

Giroux went on to say “If elections could change anything in this world, they’d be illegal.”

This concludes our broadcast.
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Calofas
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28th of March

Hello and welcome to CNN broadcasting from downtown Port de Triomphe.

A visible split within the League of Communists is becoming clear after Deputy Leader Helena Giroux criticised the Kumanian Communist Party. League of Communist Party Secretary Eleuterio Yount attacked Deputy Leader Giroux by saying “She goes against the basic principles of Marxism by failing to support and offer solidarity with the struggles of other communists around the world.”

Meanwhile Kevin Bluecheese, leader of the Communist Party rejected criticism and called for unity and for international solidarity.

Even high profile party member Adão Cavey has called for unity.

We are now joined by Ms Giroux. Do you regret what you said about Bluecheese and the Kumanian Communist Party?

HG: No. I stand by what I have said, even though it was taken out of context and sensationalised by the media.

News Anchor: Would you like to respond to Mr Bluecheese’s comments?

HG: Yes. The last paragraph of the Communist Manifesto, states “The Communists disdain to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing social conditions. Let the ruling classes tremble at a communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains! They have a world to win!”

I am not an apologetic revisionist like Mr Bluecheese or Secretary Yount. But what Mr Bluecheese fails to recognise is that when we talk of revolution, we can mean many things. There are many examples of blood soaked revolution from history and then there examples of peaceful social revolution.

But! Only the most ignorant of people can close their eyes to the bourgeois nature of these so called democracies inhabiting our world. Whoever wants to reach communism by the roads offered by the corrupt democracies will inevitably arrive at conclusions that are absurd and reactionary in every aspect.

News Anchor: I am sorry I must interrupt, before our viewers fall asleep. What about the calls for solidarity and unity with other Communists though?

HG: I offer my solidarity to the workers of the world and those who struggle against class repression in Kumania. Not to the likes of Mr Bluecheese, whose rejection of basic Marxist principles, such as the revolutionary dictatorship of the proletariat which must occur between where we are at this moment in time and the ultimate goal of a communist society!

You cannot break the system by being apart of it.

News Anchor: Deputy Leader, I believe we will have to end this interview there. Thank you.

Now on too our last news story of the day.

The Bosporus Conflict between Axeldonia and Aghrabia seems like an odd topic choice for a pop song. However the current Calofas number 1 song in the charts, is just that. Local band They Might Be Giants, have stated their number 1 hit is about the confusion over what to call the main city in the Bosporus region, with their song Istanbul (Not Constantinople).



This has been CNN, thank you.
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Calofas
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29th of March

Hello and welcome. Broadcasting from Downtown Port de Triomphe, this is CNN.

Joining me this evening yet again is our deputy leader Helena Giroux. I take it by your presence you have no intention on ending this international feud between the Kumanian Communist Party and Mr Kevin Bluecheese?

HG: Ha! Feud? Please. Mr Bluecheese refused to acknowledge any of the points I made, instead he hides behind a game of truth or dare. But! The truth hurts. I have no problem with the ordinary members of the Kumanian Communist Party, they are one of the oldest communist movements in the world. It is just such a shame that they are led by an incompetent at best, at worst it is the evil face of revisionism, which we all know is the petty bourgeois corruption of Marxist movements around the world.

I kindly suggest Mr Bluecheese leads a different Party, such as a social democratic one. Not the Kumania Communist Party, Kumania deserve better.

News Anchor: Are you going to accept his challenge?

HG: Well maybe as Deputy Leader of the League of Communists, the only Communist Party in power in the whole of the ESU, to my knowledge. Maybe I should! Since the leader of the Kumanian Communist Party has given me the right to lead his Party maybe I should accept it.

News Anchor: Yes but can a foreigner take charge of a Communist Party in another nation?!

HG: Since Communism is an internationalist movement that rejects all forms of nationalism or any pride attached to national identity I see no problem. After all the ultimate goal of communism is the withering away of the state and the development of a classless, stateless society.

News Anchor: Do you think Calofas should do more on the international scene?

HG: With regards to what?

News Anchor: Well, for example the Balkan Conflict?

HG: Communism is a peaceful movement, at its heart. It is the bourgeois democracies that exploit others and begin violent imperialistic wars.

However maybe Calofas should take a lead in freeing the proletariat across the world from the imperialists. As the only Communist Party in a position to do so we should do more!

News Anchor: What is your view on the recent victories of fascist parties in some of the recent elections?

HG: It pleases me.

News Anchor: Pleases you?!

HG: Yes. It means the end of capitalism is coming. Fascism is capitalism in decay as Lenin said. Only until its dying breathe will capitalism reveal its true ugly face, hiding in the most abhorrent ideology imaginable. One that is born out of complete hatred.
And, also that is the main difference between Bluecheese and me. I worry about global politics, he is still trying to decide what Party he should lead…because the workers of Kumania deserve better.

News Anchor: Deputy Leader once again, thank you.

This concludes today's Broadcast.
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30th of March

Good Morning and welcome to CNN broadcasting from downtown Port de Triomphe.

An emergency party conference was held yesterday. It was called by party members who have spoken out against Helena Giroux for criticising other Communists as well as other concerns, that Deputy Leader Giroux has too much power.

The conference was chaired by Giroux critic, Party Secretary Eleuterio Yount, and was called for by Yount himself, along with other high ranking party officials; Alcides Duchamps Committee for State Security Chairman, Timoteo Sarte, Committee for Environmental Affairs Chairman and Noemi Fortier, Committee for Public Transportation Chairman. Alderic Wolfe was a notable absentee.

The main topic of discussion was Ms. Giroux criticism of the Kumanian Communist Party. Giroux also responded to comments made by Paulina Sands Party stating “I ended my days as a politics lecturer at Port de Triomphe University years ago, I don’t intend to lecture Ms Sands on the differences between Social Democracy, Libertarian Socialism and Democratic Socialism. That would be silly.

Giroux also defended her position as Deputy Leader stating that Alderic Wolfe had entrusted her with the position, not Secretary Yount or anyone else. At this moment in time it is unclear as to what Party Leader Alderic Wolfe makes of recent events.

In other news The League of Communists of Calofas has decided to begin funding the Oak Leaf Communist Party. Presently it is expected the ruling Green Party will remain the largest Party in the Oak Leaf Parliament, with a slim majority and might need a coalition to remain in control, as a hung Parliament is expected. It is hoped with the extra funds that the Oak Leaf Communist Party can become the third largest party within the Baltic state.

In another similar announcement, after the Fuhrmanian Fascist Party won the Fuhrmanian election with 60% of the vote and 400 MPs. Calofas will also begin funding the Fuhrmanian Communist Party lead by Jurgen Leininburg who won 100 seats at the election. It is hoped with the extra support the Fuhrmanian Communist Party can build upon their success at the election and can provide real opposition to the Fascist Party and challenge in future.

Our final story is that travel restrictions which were placed on the Comoros Islands are to be relaxed. However a total of 60,000 extra police officers have been assigned to duties on the islands the Committee for State Security announced this was a move to ensure national security.

This, has been CNN. Goodbye.
Edited by Calofas, Mar 30 2016, 07:27 AM.
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