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My compilation of short jokes.
Topic Started: 14 Jul 2013, 12:10 AM (6 Views)
Sandy
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* Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

* I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in, she said: Check books.

* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

* Sometimes when I reflect back on all the ciggarettes I smoked, i feel ashamed. Then I look into the ciggarette & think about the workers in the ciggarette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I dont smoke this ciggarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it's better that I smoke this ciggarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.
Last edited by Saurabh on 10 Jan 2007 19:16, edited 1 time in total.

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Saurabh
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Postby Saurabh » 10 Jan 2007 18:50
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

My wife thinks "freedom of the press" means no-iron clothes.

When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.

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Saurabh
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Postby Saurabh » 10 Jan 2007 18:51
A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his prize possession...even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"

A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married.
Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?

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Saurabh
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"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire'"
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"
"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.

Wife's definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Offline Profile Quote ^^^
 
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