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Junk Army Surplus; Crudely assembled armaments and vehicles
Topic Started: Sep 29 2012, 12:06 AM (21 Views)
Claptrap
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The Junk Army Surplus store was proof that not all advertising was false. The store was indeed junk, and the dumpster proudly pictured on its advertisements was its actual base of operations. Some ShellNumemon scurry back and forth to salvage trash from nearby garbage bags, eagerly bringing it to the main dumpster. A flap in front of the dumpster opens up, revealing the pink head of a Garbagemon. He grins somewhat lewdly, opening another panel to reveal a disorganized collection of wares.

Welcome, private, to the surplus! And don't say yer not a private, 'cuz yer all privates once you've popped on in here. Now, what can I get fer yew today, private?

By the way, don't tell them Gigabyte City folks I'm here. They're still mad about the Garbage Day accident."






  • Musk - 250 bits

    "On the battlefield, it is vital yew do NOT let the Dobermon of war sniff yew out! That's where this musk comes in, hiding yer scent with ease! What's in it? WHO CARES! It's musk!"

  • Screen Door Shield - 500 bits

    "I can hear yew wussies now: 'Oh, its too heavy! I can't possibly lift that magnificent shield like you do!' That's why yew privates jus' get a screen door. It's not the strongest, but it's damn reliable."

  • Backyard Bazooka - 1000 bits

    "Now this is what I like to see! This weapon of mass destruction is fuelled entirely by whatever yew can pick up! Rocks, bricks, hand grenades, anything! It only fires three shots before breaking into pieces, though, and takes a damn long time to repair afterwards."

  • One Man's Trash, Vol. 1 - 500 bits

    "On the battlefield, yew need to improvise. This handy guidebook should teach yew how to be a modern-day MacGuyver! Yew'll never be a scrap king like me, but yew should be able to make simple trinkets if yew study this book."

  • Cockroach-Bot - 250 bits

    "Who would yew rather see scrapped? Yerself, or some robot that can't even feel pain? This Roach unit can take a massive beating and still come out alive, making it the perfect distraction!"

  • Haze Bomb - 500 bits

    [color=[pink]"Yew think war's about honor? Hell no! Its about being the man on top. And if the other guy can't see, yew take that spot by default. Yew can only carry one of these at a time, but it'll change the whole damn battle if used right!"[/color]

  • The Bag - 250 bits

    "Son, I'm gonna be honest. Yer as ugly as sin. And if yew need a disguise, I've got yew covered. Just put on this paper bag and ignore the weird smells."

  • Garbage Gloves - 1000 bits

    Sometimes, yew just feel like bein' a titan. That's what these Garbage Gloves are for! Strong enough to lift a dumpster, big enough to catch a watermelon. They're a bit too big to do normal hand things with, though."

  • Cracked Mirror - 250 bits

    "This mirror may be a little cracked, but it's not useless. It can still reflect lights, start small fires, and remind yew to GET A HAIRCUT, HIPPIE!"

  • Scrapyard Champion - 2500 bits

    "The Champion's my pride and joy. A floating monster of a hoverbike with two sidecars, a shitton of armor, and more diesel than a Trailmon station. It makes a lot of noise, moves slow, and is prone to breaking, but when yer behind the wheel of this beauty yew won't even bring yerself to care!"

Edited by Claptrap, Sep 30 2012, 01:15 AM.
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